Latest / The Multiverse Collective / Wild Wild West E16: Every Day, You Gotta Sweep Dirt

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Wild Wild West E16: Every Day, You Gotta Sweep Dirt · The Multiverse Collective

0:00
Well, I I was just about to kiss Hale and your your mates.
0:02
That's. OK, you can kiss Hale in 5
0:06
minutes after I put a little bit more wine in my glass.
0:09
Everybody clear the room. And they were both boys.
0:24
Oh my God, Hale, you are well and truly a master show person
0:29
and I, I. This whole.
0:33
Experience. I am enraptured.
0:40
We we were on the train to New Orleans when a guy called a guy
0:47
a person, a thing called. No one appeared on the train and
0:52
he was brandishing itchy soul climb and then he they she I
1:01
don't know what what to to call it disappeared and Clarice is in
1:08
front of me. How?
1:11
How do I react to this? The multiverse?
1:17
Collective. And Arthur, you still don't know
1:51
she's here. Clarice is here next to you, and
1:54
it feels like her and it smells like her and it looks like her,
1:59
but you are in a train in Texas rocketing towards New Orleans.
2:05
Or at least it feels like you're rocketing towards New Orleans.
2:09
And this being of infinite power beyond your wildest imagination,
2:16
who has mistaken you for someone else now several times, is not
2:20
gone, but all but forgotten about.
2:24
Because the only important thing, Arthur, is the Clarice is
2:28
here next to you, and you have a glass of the finest whiskey
2:32
you've ever tasted. I'm I'm, I'm so sorry, Clarice.
2:38
I know, I know. You did the best you could in
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all these years. What have you done?
2:46
Arthur I. Have left a trail of red trying
2:52
to find the man who did what he did.
2:54
And that trail of red leads all the way back to that damned
2:58
bank, doesn't it? Have you found him yet?
3:03
And no one you would know the truth of what happened and why
3:09
it happened. It's up to you whether or not
3:11
you tell Arthur the reality of his situation.
3:15
I almost had him once but he didn't show.
3:20
Things never seem to go according to plan for you, do
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they? Do you know me, Clarice?
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I know who you are. I know.
3:31
I know all about you. That's why I love you so much.
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But how could you let this happen?
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I waited for you. I waited for you in that house
3:45
until they came for me. And they came for Pete, not
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Pete. He didn't deserve this, Arthur.
3:54
Neither did I, and you know it. What is revenge going to do?
3:59
What do you want, Arthur? Eight years, a trail of blood
4:09
and bodies, and there's still a bullet in my chest.
4:14
I want to look him in the eye. You should have been there.
4:18
Where were you? You know where I was.
4:22
Hiding in. The job went S Clarice.
4:28
I couldn't I couldn't bring the police back to the house.
4:31
It was the one rule you had that would bring the police to the
4:34
home, not while Pete was there. It.
4:36
Would have been a damn sight better.
4:38
Than. Who did show?
4:40
Up if you did you think if I knew Jensen would turn up and
4:43
kill you that I would have left and left you alone?
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I think you knew better. I thought you knew better.
4:55
But that's what you have me for, Arthur.
5:00
And suddenly you are face to face with no one.
5:05
Again, Arthur stands up, turns around, punches the sidewall of
5:11
the train cart and then walks off.
5:15
I think I made him angry. Yeah, Arthur just walks out out
5:21
of the the bar cart. Do you go back to your room?
5:27
Yeah, should we follow him? Nah, he's best to just leave
5:40
alone for a little bit. Did you just come here to give
5:44
us a coin and torture Arthur or? Oh, I didn't come to give you
5:48
the coin. That was a happy accident.
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I mean, your part. Good shooting, Slick.
5:52
I didn't see it coming. That's a lie.
5:55
But I had fun doing it. Well.
6:01
You give me the one thing I'm good at.
6:03
Oh, you have plenty good at things.
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I got a little big bucket, yeah. I mean, I that's what I was
6:14
trained to do so. You ever try something like
6:18
stocking shelves, just sleeping, maybe even taking some time
6:23
away, getting a side job, some honest to work, you know?
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I've been traveling around trying to get away from
6:31
everything for the last three years.
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Shit just keeps finding me. It's I went to Holy Cedar trying
6:37
to get away from all this demon shit and look what I found.
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I'm going away from Holy Cedar and he gets away from the
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demons. Hey, you got good jokes.
6:50
Well, you. Took the wrong.
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Town there didn't. You that's pointed lightly.
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And not not a lot holy these days.
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I met the preacher once. King Curtis.
7:00
No, no. But I met a preacher once, and
7:05
you know what he said to me? Go away, demon.
7:08
Yeah, something like that. Hey, wait a second, we met a
7:13
preacher. Once.
7:14
Yeah, King Curtis. That's why I just.
7:17
No, no, no, no, the other guy and holy cedar.
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I fixed his door up. Oh yeah, The he wasn't a
7:23
preacher. He was the the Arbor.
7:26
No. No, no, no, no.
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The other guy, The preacher. Was there a preacher?
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There was a preacher. It was the guy whose door kicked
7:34
off and started frightening wild blood.
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See, I thought that was the Barber.
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In like episode 3. OK.
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It was the the preacher. I think I used the word pastor
7:44
but. I think you did use Pastor.
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For all intents and purposes. A Mog Barber fucking
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amalgamation. It's like he's just been sitting
7:54
there smiling for like 5 seconds.
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He hasn't moved. It hasn't moved.
8:00
Hey. I liked it better when we were
8:07
friends. We can be friends, itchy.
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We can be best friends if you want to.
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Yeah, that was good. I I liked when we did.
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That itchy? Itchy No.
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Itchy no. I don't want to feel
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uncomfortable, slick. Oh, it's hard to avoid,
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unfortunately. You got a lot more than
8:30
uncomfortable coming for you, Izzy.
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Oh well, it's not the greatest thing to hear.
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It's got nothing to do with me. Probably.
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It might see if I get bored. I don't like being bored.
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There's so much stuff now you get tired of it.
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You know, back in my, you know, back in my day, there wasn't
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none of this. Didn't have to.
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There was no train schedules. There was no taxes.
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There was no, there was no dirt. Do you got to sweep every day or
9:11
every day? You got to sweep dirt.
9:13
Do you know how much dirt there is?
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A lot. Couple of tons there's.
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A lot of fucking dirt. OK, there's, there's a there's a
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lot of fucking dirt. Back in my day there wasn't any
9:24
dirt and nobody turned the lights on while you're sleeping
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neither. Too much stuff now.
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I don't like it. I get bored of it all.
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All right. No one is there.
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There has to be a reason other than that coin that you came to
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us. Yeah, tell me a joke, Slick.
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Tell you a joke. Tell me a joke, slick.
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I don't have AI, wasn't expecting that.
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I don't have a joke on it. That's a shame, isn't it?
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All right, all right, I got a joke for you.
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Why you on me? What do you call a pony with a?
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Cough What do you call a pony with a cough?
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A little horse. Evander's dead.
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Itchy immediately stops laughing.
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That's funny, isn't it? I love a good.
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Joke. When when you say evader's dead?
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I mean, you put a bullet in his head.
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What do you mean? What?
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What? He came right back.
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Yeah, something like that. Oh.
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Lord have mercy. Itchy looks over to Slick.
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That whole time, that wasn't Evander.
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I. You would know Itchy without a
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doubt then no one is telling you the truth.
11:07
That old time, that old time I was walking around with the
11:10
corpse of a dead horse. OK, that seems more accurate to
11:15
what we know, right? Because when we put the coin on
11:17
the horse, we saw the zombie horse inside of it, leading us
11:21
to believe that it was in fact the real Evander, animated and
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just sort of like reskinned as a regular horse, right?
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Or are we? Or are we learning that's not
11:31
the case? No, because.
11:33
I think that's quite a working theory.
11:34
Yeah, What you saw was the truth, OK?
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What you saw was the truth. So Evander is in fact dead.
11:40
He he never told Itchy. You never told Itchy?
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This whole time I was walking around with a dead horse.
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You know ain't. That funny?
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Slick. Yeah, it's that's that's funny.
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I didn't. See, Chris ain't.
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No one I I got a question for you.
12:01
I would love to know your question, Itchy.
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I need you to be straight with me.
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Can't do that one. What's your question?
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How long did Slick know about this?
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Oh, that's a good one. I just need to know.
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I just need to know. Did he have me pegged day one or
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was this something that he figured out a couple days ago?
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I don't know. Maybe he was going to come
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around to telling me. Now here's the thing, Itchy is
12:36
I'm the wrong one to ask. All the answers you'll seek are
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seated beside you. Itchy very slowly turns his head
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towards Slick. We found out after Chicken's
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Hut. Arthur put up one of those
12:52
silver coins to Evander as you weren't looking and showed us
12:57
the truth underneath. You didn't seem like you were in
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a great spot to learn at the moment we were getting around to
13:01
it. OK, all right, I get.
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Itchy. Yeah.
13:08
Yeah, no one. What?
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You thinking about? It's been.
13:15
One week since you looked at me. I don't know if I heard that one
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before. You will.
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Evander probably would have known it.
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It's been a long couple minutes here.
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Not a whole lot on my mind. Not a whole lot of good things
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on my mind. When were you going to tell me,
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Slick? When were you going to tell me
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that the horse that I was walking around with was dead?
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What were you going to tell me? Slick, right?
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You might have the notes on this.
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I'm trying to remember exactly because I know we asked King
13:45
Curtis about this. We, we tried to ask him about
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Evander specifically. I don't exactly remember the
13:52
answer, but I know we tried to see if there was a way to fix
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Evander. I think, Niall, maybe you
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remember it 'cause I think you asked about it, but I don't
14:01
remember. Fuck, it feels like a a hot
14:04
minute since we asked those questions.
14:06
It was. It has.
14:07
Been. I definitely don't remember.
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What King Curtis told you, and I'm pulling from my memory, I'm
14:13
not looking at my notes, was that Evander is not here
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anymore. But Itchy did hear that right I.
14:24
Will say itchy. You know Evander still exists.
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You saw Evander, but you saw Evander in the stables of the
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devil himself. That was Evander there, the real
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Evander. You know this to your core, that
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that creature that you saw in the Devil Himself stables was
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Evander. You know that that is what you
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traded was Evander. That the Evander that you've
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been riding, the one that you've had since your deal since
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Chicken's Hut was not truly Evander.
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And that that's the Evander that they evaluated with the coin.
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They evaluated what is essentially the corporeal body
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of the animal you shot between the eyes to make your deal, what
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you gave up for your revenge. It's different.
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They're different. The soul of Evander is different
15:24
from the body of Evander, just as you are separate from your
15:28
coin. Itchy.
15:30
Above table. I feel like I knew this, I just
15:32
wanted to yell. Yeah.
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I love it. I mean, you've been knocked out
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so many times in the last. I very I very easily could have
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missed that. I don't know if you, I don't
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know if you. Ever said anything directly?
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You'd never be alluded to it. But yeah.
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No for sure. Yeah, the Evander that's that is
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in the stable car of this train is not the Evander that you gave
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up. And in your heart, you know
16:00
that. But you know knowing something
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and admitting something, even in your own psyche is, is
16:06
different. They're two different things,
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Knowing and and accepting. Yeah, I think Itchy just hasn't
16:13
accepted this yet. And why would you?
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You know exactly what you've done.
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Logically, you know exactly what you've done.
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Itchy. But the consequences of what we
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choose to do, That's the hard part, because we can only
16:29
control ourselves. We can't control what happens
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because of what we do. I think Ichi just puts his head
16:37
in his hands and is silent. Ichi, if you need to take a
16:40
minute, you can go back to the passenger car with Arthur, see
16:45
how he's doing. He just gets up and walks away
16:48
and. Then it would too.
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I think, I think you see like a noticeable change in Slick, like
17:03
the way he's like holds himself as more serious and his eyes,
17:08
like he's not afraid to look at you, like he's clearly not
17:11
afraid of demonic entities of this even of something of your
17:15
caliber. What are you really here for?
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Why did you come here for this? Are you just trying to get us to
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stop what we're doing? Are you trying to help us?
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What's your plans? Stop you.
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No, no, you're, you're doing good work, Slick.
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Well, you're sure doing a damn good job of keeping everybody
17:33
mad. Yeah, but don't get me wrong,
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I'm enjoying the mission. It's fun, right?
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You haven't. Are you having fun, Slick?
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Tell me you haven't. Tell me you're having fun.
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Not exactly happy to go be be going back to see Asmodeus.
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No, I don't imagine you would be had to kind of go back home to
18:02
Dad. Huh.
18:04
I wouldn't call him dad. He's just I wouldn't either.
18:08
Horrible father figure Chase Louise.
18:12
Interesting guy. Lot of drinking, not a lot of.
18:16
Drunken, you know, as far as demons go, as far as I can tell,
18:21
he's one of the more benign ones.
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I'm just hoping he can help us out.
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I I'm in this to help these two guys and you're sure making that
18:29
difficult at the moment. Well, I'll.
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Tell, I'll tell you what I I'm tired, slick.
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I've been awake a long, long time.
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When you need to tuck in a kiss on the forehead.
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I I wouldn't complain, but you know, no, I just I want to see
18:56
some real some real winners out of your voice.
19:00
And I think that you got what it takes and it it is like putting
19:05
its finger in your chest as it says this like poke, poke, poke.
19:08
I want to know that you boys are going to pull this off.
19:15
Not for me. And I got no skin in the game.
19:18
I got I got no horse in the race.
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Just you're itchy, sobbing from the the other side of the train.
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But I like to see them lose. So it sounds like we're at least
19:39
on the same side. No.
19:43
But. I tell you what, I'm not going
19:47
to stop you. So you got that going for you,
19:51
which is nice because I am hungry, but that's OK.
19:57
This train makes a lot of stops, just not ones that you folks get
20:02
to get off at. When you say you're hungry, what
20:07
do you eat? What does a being like you?
20:10
Eat. It's just silent for probably a
20:15
solid 30 seconds just staring at you and then goes, yeah, that's
20:23
for later. Why don't we go catch up with
20:28
the boys? You know, I think they could use
20:30
some comfort. Come on, come on, let's go see
20:32
him. And it it gets up and sort of
20:35
like. Oh, sorry.
20:39
Oh. Excuse me a minute and it's
20:42
going to pop out the door to go find Ichi.
20:45
I think Ichi is just in the room like face down.
20:49
Just imagine like, like a like a teenager who just got broken up
20:54
with for the first time. He's just like sobbing into his
20:56
pillow and hang on, hang on. I can do this.
21:15
It it comes into the room and just sort of like itchy.
21:19
It's hey, itchy. What?
21:21
It's your coat. I need your coat real quick.
21:24
My coat. Yeah, the coat.
21:26
No, the coat 45, two zigzags, OK.
21:32
And baby, that's. All I need, here you go.
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Thank you. Now talking.
21:37
Like you and it walks. Out of the room, it crosses back
21:41
through the bar car with you. Slick gives you a little smile
21:45
and like a cheeky little wave goes into the next car and I'm
21:51
going to take a look. See Lou here. 5 Shooter 66.
21:58
You hear? 6.
21:59
Shots ring out. Should I take those off of?
22:01
My ammo, yeah. And.
22:04
Then slick you see itchy walk back in.
22:08
I got. I got to go give.
22:09
The gun. Back and the.
22:11
Train grinds to a stop. You feel.
22:22
It somebody has put on the emergency brake.
22:26
Oh. Somebody's in trouble.
22:29
It turns back into no one. No, really, I got to go give
22:32
this back this. Gun is not mine.
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And goes and just slips it like under Itchy, who I assume is
22:39
still in the exact same position here.
22:41
Thank. Thank you.
22:43
Also, you're in trouble. OK, bye.
22:45
He was. My best friend Arthur.
22:50
Arthur's not. In that room, he didn't go back
22:52
to the Itchy. Does not notice or care.
22:57
I think Arthur's. Gone to like the peasants
23:01
quarter, like the second class travel and it's just like paid a
23:05
man to scrap him. He's like, here's, here's $20, I
23:11
want to fight you, $20. It's an.
23:14
Incredible time. Yeah, usually when people hit
23:18
me, it's for free. Damn, back in those days.
23:20
Anybody would done anything for $20 I'll.
23:23
Do anything for $20. What's you talking about, boy?
23:26
Oh no, it's going. To you'd walk into the second
23:28
class thing and be like $20 to whoever can knock me out I've.
23:35
Been knocking itchy out all week.
23:37
It's time for me, it's my turn. I just surf it, Dad.
23:41
We're a real fan, yes. I think he's just.
23:45
Scrapping. With the common folk.
23:49
I feel like when the trains, like, grind into a halt, it's
23:52
just like pummelling somebody on the ground.
23:54
And it stops and he's got, like, blood splattered all over his
23:57
face and his hands, you know, like, pulls his handkerchief
24:00
out, wipes his face. And like as he walks back into
24:02
the bar car, the bar car, bar car.
24:07
You just see like. An angry look on his face and
24:11
like his blood all over his, like his jacket and like his
24:14
hands and he goes what the fuck is going on here?
24:18
Slick, itchy shot. People.
24:21
Oh. God I got to go.
24:25
Slick immediately takes stock. The fact that Itchy looks like
24:28
he just killed 6 people and Arthur's covered in fucking
24:30
blood. You see no one, just awkward as
24:34
hell. Like absolutely no athletic
24:37
prowess at all. Like climbing out of the window.
24:44
And as he's doing this, as no, as no one's doing this, Arthur's
24:47
going to look at them and go and you, if I ever see your fucking
24:51
ugly face again, I'm going to beat it to a climbs back in.
24:55
The window just walks. Up to you.
25:00
Smack across the face and then climbs back out the window.
25:05
Itchy. You will also notice that your
25:09
Colt 45 has a pearlescent like oil slick handprint burned into
25:16
the grip. Now I assume that those are.
25:18
My prints? No, they're mine.
25:20
Hot. Who cares?
25:22
They don't. Have printing in the fucking
25:23
1800s. What do you mean I?
25:25
Weaponized my snazzes. I don't know.
25:40
Has the train. Stopped yet or is it still
25:42
breaking? I feel like it's probably
25:44
stopped with the E brakes at this point.
25:46
It's almost. Stopped.
25:49
You're grinding, You can hear it, you can feel it, and if you
25:54
look out the window you can see the sparks of the wheels on the
25:57
track. And you are still in wasteland.
26:01
OK, that's cool with me. I'm going to continue.
26:03
I'm going to walk to the operator like the train driver
26:08
all the way through the cars. However many cars are left and
26:11
we're like start this fucking train up now the.
26:16
Operator of the train looks at you.
26:20
I can't. What do you mean?
26:22
You can't. I can't.
26:25
And roll time to. Stand roll this way.
26:30
I'm wondering when you're old I I assume since.
26:34
We're first class. We were probably towards the
26:36
front. You were.
26:37
Yeah, roll, roll and. Analyze for me, Arthur, I've
26:40
still. Got a Clarice's coin?
26:43
You do that is 2 sixes and the last one was a fail, but while
26:51
Arthur. 'S doing this, Slick is going to
26:53
stand up and go into Itchy's room.
26:56
And. He's going to go itchy.
26:58
We got a problem. Pull yourself together.
27:01
What? That motherfucker.
27:03
Just shot 6 people with your gun looking like you to frame you.
27:06
We need to change you. And the first thing he's going
27:09
to do is start like shrugging off his duster and his and he
27:11
goes, I'm going to leave these clothes in here.
27:14
You need to get changed right now.
27:15
Those clothes that you're wearing need to go out the
27:17
window. I got a backup pair.
27:19
I got a backup stuff I can wear all right.
27:23
And I think EG is just kind of like going through the motions
27:26
and he just like fully nude, only a.
27:29
Duster. Holy.
27:31
Nude only duster. Slick.
27:33
'S going to leave him. Please give him a fucking chance
27:35
to do it. No, I think itchy.
27:43
Has on actual clothes. Yes, Slick's going to leave him
27:46
like most of his outfit like. Whatever.
27:50
Even if it looks like shit, like it doesn't fit like shit.
27:52
Just so long as it's not the same clothes to identify him
27:55
with. And then he's going to slip into
27:57
his room to change as well. Arthur.
28:00
To resolve your analyse check with two successes, you get the
28:04
same feeling you got from that bartender when you were in
28:08
Sweetwater. Oh, he's a.
28:10
Frawl sick. I'm going to grab the train
28:14
driver to throw him from the operator seat.
28:19
He's not going. To give me any answers.
28:21
If he's a frawl, he's not going to give me the answers I need.
28:23
And then I'm going to figure out how to get this train running, I
28:27
think. As you're doing that, there is
28:30
an incredible commotion in the cars behind you.
28:34
Clearly what has transpired has been discovered.
28:38
And with that, we'll end the episode.
28:52
Hi, Pale. Plunk yourself hi.
28:56
Not in the fun. Way.
28:57
The normal way that's. Later, my name is Hale.
29:05
As always, it's a pleasure to be here.
29:08
You can find more of my work on the Across the Plains network on
29:11
the show Digiverse, or we are playing an actual Play Digimon
29:15
podcast using the Digi dice system developed by Claire
29:19
Mulcaren, one of our first guests in our Campaign 1.
29:24
You can also find me moderating that server as well as The
29:28
Roaring Trainers, a 5th edition Pokémon podcast where you can
29:32
see myself as well as Mr. War over here on some of the Patreon
29:41
and side episodes guesting as radio anchors.