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Growing into my Mediumship 🔮 · The Psychic Explorer

0:08
Hello, you wonderful explorers, and welcome to
0:12
another episode of The Psychic Explorer. It is
0:15
March and it is... No, it's not. It's April.
0:19
I'm recording this in March, but it is April
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when you are listening to this, or at least when
0:23
it goes live. Oh, dear, this girl... Yeah, hello.
0:29
Another solo episode from my good self to your
0:34
ears. How are you? You know, I am so grateful,
0:39
so, so grateful that Anne -Marie allowed me to
0:43
record our conversation and put her words out
0:47
into the world. The feedback I've had has been
0:49
that it was just a wonderful listening. It was
0:52
exactly what I had hoped it would be, and it
0:56
was exactly what I was aiming for in my last
1:00
solo episode, and that is authenticity. I had
1:04
to put that last solo episode out because I had
1:06
come to a realization that I was trying to be
1:09
something that I wasn't. I'm not natural at this.
1:13
I'm not natural at social media. And I was trying
1:16
to be something more than... I hasten to use
1:20
the word capable because I think for me that
1:24
indicates that I've not got it in me, but...
1:26
I just don't want to be that person who I'm constantly
1:31
trying to upload stuff. I'm constantly chasing
1:34
the lights and all that because that takes me
1:36
out of the reason I am doing this. I am doing
1:39
this to show you and share with you my journey
1:42
and it's funny isn't it because... Since I released
1:45
that episode, I don't know if whether these things
1:48
have been there all the time and I just become
1:50
more aware of it almost like when you break up
1:53
with someone When you break up with someone and
1:55
you suddenly notice every single song is about
1:58
a breakup I felt that about this theme of authenticity
2:03
since I released my last solo episode that Everything
2:06
I've been hearing everything I've been reading
2:08
everything I've been seeing has been about authenticity
2:12
and whether or not you are authentic in your
2:16
mediumship and your psychic work. And I find
2:18
it really interesting. I don't know if it's,
2:20
like I said, I don't know if it's just because
2:21
I've noticed it or if there's something else
2:24
going on that just signs of coming my way. But
2:27
everything I've been hearing and listening to
2:29
and seeing has been about the importance and
2:32
the value of... Being your true self, you know,
2:37
me and my other half, we have just finished watching
2:39
a 10 -part drama series called The Other Bennett
2:42
Sister. And if you're in the UK, go on to BBC
2:45
iPlayer. Honestly, it's such a lovely, gentle
2:49
watch. It's the sort of programme that used to
2:52
be on Sunday afternoons or Sunday evenings on
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BBC2. And it just hearts back to my childhood.
2:58
It's sort of like a Pride and Prejudice, Regency
3:03
period style period drama. And it's lovely. It's
3:07
just very gentle. If you're in the US, I don't
3:10
think it's coming to you until May. I think in
3:12
Australia, I think it was released on Binge.
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I don't know what Binge is, but I'm sure if you're
3:18
in Australia, you do. But that was released already
3:20
over there. If you can. watch it it's just like
3:24
it's just beautiful and the story is exactly
3:28
what i was getting at it's about authenticity
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it's about uh it's it's about being you and I
3:36
wanted to share with you, since I released that
3:39
episode, I found that my mediumship has something
3:43
to happen to it. It really has. It's like it's
3:46
hit the next level. And I'm not saying that to
3:49
be cocky or to be egotistical or to blow my own
3:53
trumpet, but... I was invited to hold a platform
3:59
service online for a lovely online centre called
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Bright Angels Spiritualist Centre and it's really,
4:07
really lovely. They do their service or they
4:10
put on a service on Zoom most Monday evenings
4:12
UK time. It's free so if you want to go along
4:16
you can find their information on Facebook but
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I did my service a week ago today actually a
4:23
week ago from recording today and I was so terrified
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I was so nervous as I always am whenever you
4:30
stand up and you either do this in front of people
4:33
face -to -face or you sit in front of a laptop
4:35
with a screen full of faces you think oh god
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I've got to do this and hopefully I don't fall
4:42
flat on my face And it just sang. It was wonderful.
4:47
It was message after message after message. And
4:50
I noticed that my messages were becoming, they
4:55
were becoming deeper. They were becoming more
4:58
personal. I was able to get facts, information.
5:02
feelings from these people's loved ones from
5:05
beyond, stronger than I would have or I did before.
5:09
I was able to place situations around their living
5:13
family members that I would never have even dreamed
5:17
of being able to do before and that was now coming
5:20
online for me. I was amazed and I came off that
5:24
Zoom platform just elated, absolutely elated.
5:28
I was so, so happy with it. And I've done a couple
5:31
more of my practice circles since then and the
5:35
same thing. Like the evidence I seem to be bringing
5:37
through is like, oh, okay, I think I've hit a
5:41
stride here. I think I've hit something new.
5:44
And I wonder how much of that is connected to
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my... I laugh and I pause because the word that
5:55
comes to mind here is surrender. I don't like
5:59
using that word when it comes to mediumship because,
6:04
A, because it can be batted around quite a bit,
6:07
but also to me, the word surrender means that
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I, not that I'm not in control, but it means
6:14
that I'm submitting to something else and I don't
6:18
like to do that. I am not a submissive person.
6:24
just because of a higher power. I know it's a
6:27
really random thing, but the royal family, for
6:29
example, to me personally, not fuss whatsoever.
6:33
I don't understand it. I don't understand why
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there's this thing in this country that I live
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in, where there is this deference to an individual
6:41
who happened to be born into a certain family.
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It's beyond me. I don't understand it. So this
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word surrender... It does not sit easy with me,
6:50
but since I've surrendered to this authenticity,
6:54
my authentic me, something happened to my mediumship,
6:59
it really has gone to another level. And again,
7:03
as I say this, everything I've been listening
7:06
to this past week or two has just been about
7:10
this. It's been about authenticity and the importance
7:13
of being authentic to yourself. And I'm wondering
7:17
why that is. By me being more authentic, by me
7:20
embracing my authenticity, why has that changed
7:24
things? I think it's because I'm just more comfortable.
7:28
I'm more comfortable in my own skin, I'm more
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comfortable presenting me as me. So therefore,
7:35
there's not this barrier, there's not this expectation,
7:38
there's not this otherness that there was before,
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I suppose. And I wonder why it's taken me so
7:45
long. And I know I've only been doing this for
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two and a half years or so now. I wonder why
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it took me so long to finally hit this point.
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And I guess everyone can say that about any situation
7:57
in their life, can't they? Why did it take me
8:00
so long? I'm minded to read you something that
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I wrote in a journal about a year or so ago,
8:08
and it sort of touches on this. You'll have to
8:10
forgive me. This journal entry that I am going
8:14
to read out in a moment is not fluid. It's sort
8:16
of about here, there, and everywhere in typical
8:19
Matt Morris fashion. But as I read this back
8:23
to myself, almost an entire, well, just over
8:26
a year on from writing it originally, I'm minded
8:30
to highlight just the importance of patience,
8:33
that time works on us all. And like someone who
8:38
I want to call a friend, Kelsey Anderson. I know
8:42
I mentioned her in the last episode, in the last
8:45
solo episode, but she messaged me today with
8:48
a wonderful episode which she, I don't think
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she'll mind me saying this because she says it
8:53
in the episode that she sent me. But she took
8:57
inspiration from my podcast, and I'm so honored.
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I feel so incredibly honored that somebody would
9:03
listen to my work, listen to my craft, and take
9:08
inspiration from it. Honestly, I'm so, so humbled
9:11
by it. And the episode that Kelsey sent me was
9:14
just glorious, just gorgeous. I loved it. And
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she was talking about how the stones on this
9:21
beach that she was at, she was at this lake in
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Montana. and she was picking up a stone and she
9:28
was saying how it's been shaped by time, it's
9:31
been shaped by the glaciers, it's been shaped
9:34
by the water, it's been shaped by the wind. And
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isn't that true of us all? How we all take time
9:44
to come to ourselves. So I will read you out
9:47
what I wrote. almost a year ago and again forgive
9:51
me for the the scatterness of this but it's not
9:54
poetic it's not meant to be a poem it's just
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my random my random scribbles just while i was
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meditating this random scribble time will pass
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no matter we all feel the passage of time differently
10:09
from one another for some it's quick others it's
10:13
even quicker we try to control too much Instead,
10:18
try just feeling the moment. It's going to pass
10:21
no matter, so take time to feel it, even if it's
10:24
shitty. If we are here to learn lessons, then
10:28
we need the time to learn them. The sun will
10:32
come up tomorrow, and it will go down tomorrow,
10:35
whether we are here or not. We live too fast.
10:40
A slow cooked dinner tastes so much better than
10:43
a quick microwave meal for a reason. Let the
10:46
spices of life simmer. Let them mature. Let them
10:49
infuse. By slowing down, we can make sense of
10:53
more. We can appreciate more. We can understand
10:56
more. And if we understand more, we can move
10:59
forward safely, thoughtfully and in balance.
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Take that time to love. Let the love simmer.
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Let it blend. and let it infuse. I wrote that
11:13
when I was supposed to be meditating. Dana Woolley
11:15
holds a weekly City in a Power meditation and
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I go most weekends but this time I couldn't connect.
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Sometimes I sit there and I listen to the music
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that Dana is playing, I listen to her meditation
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and I am in my own head and I think no I can't
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do this tonight so instead in those moments I
11:35
just take the time to take my notebook and journal
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whilst she's talking me through this meditation
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whilst I'm listening to the music I just scribble
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whatever wants to come through and that was one
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of those one of those scribbles and I find it
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really lovely and synchronicity synchronicity
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synchronicity Not sure. You know what I'm trying
12:04
to say. But I find it, whatever that word is,
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I find it that because it's almost exactly a
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year to the day since I wrote that. And I'm now
12:16
having this revelation that I needed that time
12:19
to get lost in my mediumship. I needed that time
12:23
to question it. I needed that time to question
12:27
what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. Amary Passano
12:32
in the last guest episode and I hope you will
12:35
agree. What a fabulous episode. What a fabulous
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person Amary is. And if you haven't listened
12:41
to it by the way, stop now. Pause, go back and
12:45
listen because it is a treat. It really is a
12:49
treat for the ears. But if you did listen to
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it, then you will know that she found that her
12:54
mediumship and her spirituality ebbed and flowed.
12:58
It stopped. It started. It paused. It restarted.
13:05
It contracted and expanded. And when I asked
13:08
her, what would you change? She said nothing.
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Would I want to be quicker? Maybe would I want
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to be this? Maybe. But actually, she said she
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wouldn't change it because the lessons that she
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learned... along the way was so incredibly helpful.
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And if you are in this stage of your mediumship
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where you are not sure whether or not to carry
13:31
on, whether or not you are good enough, whether
13:35
or not you are meant to do this, then you're
13:39
in exactly the right place that you need to be.
13:43
It might be uncomfortable. It will be uncomfortable.
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It's not comfortable at all when you're in that
13:49
space. Feel what you need to feel in this moment
13:53
in time, because at some point, whether it be
13:57
a year from now, when you look back and you reflect
14:01
on your journey, you will realise how unshackled
14:04
you have become, how free you are to just run
14:08
and live your path. If you want to hear more
14:25
stories of living your path, then you are in
14:27
the right place. My next guest, the wonderful,
14:31
the excellent Natalie Lockett is just incredible.
14:34
She so generously came on to The Psychic Explorer
14:37
to not only explore her path, but to explore
14:39
her journey and share her stories. Natalie is
14:43
on the next episode of The Psyche Explorers,
14:45
so make sure you are subscribed. Hit that notification
14:48
bell to ensure that all new episodes go straight
14:50
to your phone so you can hear them first. In
15:09
the meantime though, let's get back to this episode
15:11
where I'm taking you to my garden. Hello and
15:29
welcome to the second half of this episode. I'm
15:32
coming to you from my back garden in the middle
15:37
of Norfolk. the sun is just setting over the
15:40
hedge it is a beautiful blue sky over overhead
15:46
and the birds are chaffed around I don't know
15:49
if you can hear them or not but what a beautiful
15:52
day it has turned out to be I was a bit drizzly
15:54
this morning I was out one of my clients and
15:58
I thought I might be rained off but it is or
16:01
it has turned into an absolutely belter of a
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day Tonight is the full moon, and I believe it's
16:09
called the pink moon. It's the day before Good
16:13
Friday. Lots of people are taking the long weekend
16:17
off. I am not. I'm working tomorrow. I'm Monday.
16:21
But that's fine. I never observe Easter anyway,
16:24
so that's fine by me. And it gives me an opportunity
16:27
to just reflect on this time of year, on this
16:31
spring. Rebirth, I guess that's what this this
16:34
weekend does pose in the Christian countenance.
16:36
At least it's all about it's about death and
16:39
rebirth and I'm minded to Think of the tarot
16:44
card the death card where to the layman the death
16:47
card might be something which is Scary, it might
16:51
be something which is troubling. It might be
16:54
a negative thing. But actually for those are
16:57
versed in tarot the death card means death of
17:01
something else to give way to something new,
17:04
something better. As I'm sat here in my garden,
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I am looking at my cherry tree, I'm looking at
17:14
my pear and my apple trees and they're all in
17:18
bloom, they're all in blossom, sorry. The daffodils
17:22
are just going over but the primroses are all
17:26
out and there are promises of life. ahead. There
17:30
are promises of the new year, the new summer,
17:34
the new growing season. And sitting here in this
17:39
garden looking at all this new life I'm aware
17:42
that spring doesn't just happen. The blossom
17:46
didn't just appear overnight, the bulbs didn't
17:49
just suddenly flower. It's been working underground
17:54
quietly all winter, all this time. while the
17:58
world has been asleep. And I think my practice
18:02
is a bit like this right now. There is a growth
18:05
happening, I know there is, but there's also
18:08
work to do, specifically my one -to -ones. My
18:13
platform work I feel comfortable with, it feels
18:16
comfortable and feel confident with it. But my
18:20
one -to -one readings sitting with one person,
18:24
just me and them and whoever comes through, I've
18:27
not really practiced that and that's where I
18:30
feel wobbly. That's where I know I need to push
18:34
myself next. I've reached out to a couple of
18:39
people about mentorship because I think that
18:42
this is somewhere that I need help. And I need
18:47
someone to help me find that next layer. Or at
18:53
least pull that layer back. and delve into it.
18:57
Again going back to the first half that is me
18:59
being honest with myself, that is me being authentic
19:03
with myself even when it's not entirely comfortable
19:06
to admit. You know I've gone through it's taken
19:10
me this far to feel comfortable with where I'm
19:13
at and yet there's still more to work at. The
19:23
birds are flitting from one tree to another trying
19:26
to find caterpillars for their young that I guess
19:29
they've just given birth or that are just hatched.
19:33
I can hear the pheasants in the fields beyond
19:36
the hedges that surround my small garden and
19:41
they're on the lookout for mates, they're on
19:43
the lookout for female pheasants to continue
19:47
the circle of life. I feel like I've sort of
19:55
come to a bit of an impasse because as far as
19:59
my my practice is concerned I know that I'm not
20:03
doing enough of it when I started in January
20:06
or rather when I spoke about what I wanted to
20:09
do for my New Year's resolution if I were to
20:11
have one it would be to practice practice practice
20:13
and know that I'm not doing enough of it and
20:16
when I think about why it's I come back to that
20:20
guilt of spending time with loved ones, spending
20:24
time with Simon, not borrowing my way upstairs
20:29
and in the back bedroom. And if you can hear
20:34
that by the way in the background, that's not
20:35
gunshots. It's the bird -scarers in the fields.
20:40
They go off three times in a row every half hour
20:44
or so. But yeah, I do feel this tension between
20:48
really wanting to practice and commitment to
20:53
others, not wanting to upset, not wanting to
20:59
be perceived as obsessed by this mediumship,
21:04
this psychic work that I am delving into. But
21:07
if I'm going to link this back to the first half
21:11
of this episode, which is all about authenticity,
21:14
all about patience, I have to remember that I
21:18
have to be authentic to myself and sometimes
21:21
Being authentic to yourself can make other people
21:23
uncomfortable. And I know that that's a tightrope.
21:31
We all have to learn to walk and remind ourselves.
21:37
I think I am ready to take my next step on this
21:41
journey. I've reached out to a couple of people
21:46
about mentorship, about being mentored. Because
21:51
I don't know where to go. I don't know what to
21:54
do. I don't really know how to proceed. I know
21:59
I need to practice on my one -to -ones, my platform
22:02
work I'm uncomfortable with. Even though I, again,
22:07
going back to the first half of this episode,
22:10
I was talking about being much more comfortable
22:12
with my readings on platform and being confident
22:15
with that. I did a practice circle last night
22:18
and... I didn't fall flat on my face but it was
22:22
a struggle. I couldn't quite interpret well what
22:25
I was receiving. But I know that I am more comfortable
22:31
and more competent in my platform work than I
22:33
am my one -to -one work and I know that the one
22:36
-to -one work is really where I can help people,
22:41
where I can affect people in a positive way.
22:47
and I don't know where to go, I don't know what
22:49
to do so I've reached out to a few people and
22:52
I'm just waiting to hear back and so I will keep
22:54
you up to date with that progress and where I
22:57
end up on that journey or whether that takes
23:00
my journey further hopefully. I don't know if
23:18
you heard that, but there was a flock of blue
23:21
tits just flew around the garden and they flew
23:25
around me and they skimmed my microphone. Hopefully
23:28
you heard that. And as they do that, I'm reminded
23:33
that this shouldn't be too serious. This should
23:36
be fun. Something that Kelsey Anderson, the lovely
23:41
Kelsey Anderson said that... This work should
23:44
be joyful this work should be playful and she
23:47
needs to she was saying that she needs to find
23:49
her playful and The same is that same for me.
23:54
I'm far too serious when it comes to this. I'm
23:56
not playful enough. I know that and Seeing these
24:00
birds flutter around my garden Whether they're
24:05
fledglings or their parents I think they might
24:08
be fledglings because they have the energy of
24:11
these fledglings or just flying around chasing
24:14
each other and were excited that they could use
24:16
their wings for the first time. And I suppose,
24:22
as I think about it, that's how I want to get,
24:26
I want that awe, I want that discovery of a new
24:32
skill, of discovery of flight in so many, I guess
24:37
not so many words. I'm excited to see where this
24:44
journey takes me. I'm excited to see where mentorship
24:48
can take me. So I'm sorry if this second half
24:52
sounds a bit disjointed from the first. I just
24:54
felt compelled to come out into the garden this
24:56
evening, watch the sunset go down, and do a little
25:00
recording in the back garden so you can hear
25:02
the soundscape of my garden. And tonight is the
25:06
full moon, as I said, so... I am setting my intention
25:11
that for the next cycle I can open my heart to
25:20
receive more guidance, to receive more tutelage,
25:27
to learn more and to put into practice more.
25:35
Take from that what you will. I don't feel like
25:39
I'm in a position to tell you what to think or
25:40
what to do or what to say but if you've been
25:43
inspired by that then go forward and take that
25:47
into your into your practice into your life and
25:51
I'll leave you with the sounds of my garden sending
25:55
you all my love take care guys bye