Latest / Rich Spinster / Lovin' Ain't Easy

Transcript

Lovin' Ain't Easy · Rich Spinster

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's just all about love and life and living and freedom.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's what that's what it's all about for me now.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Rich Spenster Podcast.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: I am the Rich Spenster, and I'm hoping that you guys had a wonderful week.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: I want you guys to know wearing a Rachel Maddow shirt today.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I just wanted to say that because it makes me feel much closer to Rachel.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: It really does.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: I put on the shirt and I feel like, okay, we're connected.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: Me and Rachel Maddow, we are connected.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Those of uh you who know me and have known me for a while understand that my love and appreciation for Rachel Maddow goes deep.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I wish it went deeper.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so let's let's talk about some things, darling.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: Did you all see the newscaster that fell asleep on air?
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: She was knocked out.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: Listen, sometimes you just tire.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: She was she was Trump level tired.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: Donald Trump, one thing about him, he's gonna fall asleep everywhere.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: Donald Trump is gonna get his hours in.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: Did you see him at Lindsey Graham's funeral just sitting there in that warm diaper?
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: Nah, nah.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: What?
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: Shit.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: Donald Trump's gonna get his sleep in that newscaster.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: She got hers too.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: But I also feel like Loki, her, I'm feeling I'm feeling away about her colleagues.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm feeling a way about her relationship with her colleagues.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because you mean to tell me there was not one person in that newsroom who could have nudged her, who could have called her name, who could have said, hey, sis, get up.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: Not one person.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: They let your ass nod off on camera.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think they like you, sis.
• 1:54
  unknown: I don't.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: One time I had a colleague who was absolutely 100% drunk on a call.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: She was all the way fucked up.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: She was absolutely drunk.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: I called her and said, bitch, if you put an if you post another fucking thing, log the fuck off.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: Because I liked her, I'm jumping in to save her in this moment.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: Don't you post another damn thing?
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: Drunk ass.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think they like you.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: No matter what I'm going through in life, the internet will always remind me to put things in perspective.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because there's there's just always another level of bullshit to be unlocked.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: I mean to know how to work my algorithm so that it's absolutely perfect because I don't know who I'm connected to on social media that likes to look at funerals.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: But whoever that is, you are you're messing with my algorithm.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: So I I log on, having my coffee, gonna have a great day, and I see the first thing pop up is a funeral.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: It is not just a funeral, it is a man holding a crown on a pillow, and he's singing that song, I shall wear a crown.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: He's singing that, walking slowly towards the casket.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Now I understand that this can be a beautiful moment for some people, and I am certainly not putting down how people grieve.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: That's your business.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: However, you grieve, it's it's it's your business.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: However, this is where the fuckery got me.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: He's walking down the aisle, holding the crown on the pillow, singing the song with like a halo on and wings.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: Wings, angel wings, the wings are opening and closing, and I'm like, what in the Halloween horror nights is going on here?
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like, listen, he was making his way down to the corpse, and the motherfucker had on angel wings.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: And why is this on my algorithm?
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: I also saw maybe it was, I don't know, a couple of months ago, and someone was twerking, twerking in front of the casket, twerk, twerking.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know who I'm following or who I'm connected to that likes to look at funeral fuckery, but you're interfering with my peace, whoever you are, because I just I was so angry.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the thing: they weren't even nice angel wings, it was terrible, and I don't know why I had to see that.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: Speaking of the dead, Mitch McConnell.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: Mitch McConnell still has not reported to work, he has not reported to the office, and at this point, I'm feeling fairly confident that we can go ahead and deactivate his badge.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: In this case, I think the supervisor needs to make some decisions about staffing.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: We need some staffing to say.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: Do y'all need a temp?
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: And every day I'm just checking to see what the update is on this dead man.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: Somebody get the the funeral home guy in.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: Can we get a crowning ceremony for Mitch McConnell at this point?
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: Can y'all just go ahead and get Mitch McConnell's crown and let's get this party started.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: I want to get to the repass.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know who did the body, but I'm going to the repass.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: Just so funny.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's just like, where is this motherfucker?
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: It has been another week of Hunter Biden not giving a fuck.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I, as I've said before, I fully support Hunter Biden's not giving a fuck.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: Let me tell you something.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: Hunter Biden went on there and said, fuck the whole family.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: Fuck the kids, the grandkids, the whole bloodline.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I appreciate this energy coming from Hunter Biden because what I don't like and what I get tired of, I get tired of people being told to take the high road.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: What I have learned in my life is that taking the high road usually means people want me to be silent in the face of abuse.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not doing that.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: The high road, my car doesn't go there anymore.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: That does not mean that I stop at every at every stop where somebody's trying to get my attention.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: However, it does mean I don't have to perform niceness for people.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: And that is a part of what Hunter Biden is showing us right now.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: That you know what?
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a human being and I have a right to all of my feelings.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: And right now, as I look at how you have treated me, how you have treated my father, whom I love so much.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: And right now, all I feel is the fuck you, the bitch who had you, and the bitch who had that bitch.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: And the difference between Hunter Biden and most people is Hunter Biden is saying it.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: You're not guessing how he feels.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: He is also an example of what sometimes living your truth looks like.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: Living your truth is not always beautiful, it's not always politically correct.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's not always what people consider proper, but it is never wrong.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: I've never regretted living my truth.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: I've never regretted speaking.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: I have regretted not speaking.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: I got a lot of regret about not speaking my feelings.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: Allowing that silence to eat you up is not peaceful.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's violent.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: It feels violent.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: I would rather explode than implode.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'll tell you that right now.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: It reminds me of my grandmother.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: My grandmother used to say, get that shit up off your chest.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: You'll feel better.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: Now, as I've gotten older, I understand.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I think a lot of it has to do with letting go.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: I was talking to a friend of mine recently about the idea of letting go, letting go of people that we love and what that looks like.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: You can't get anything in your hand when it's already closed, when it's already clenched so tightly.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, that's not what love looks like.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: Love does not look like clenching of the hands.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: It looks like freedom for me.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: It looks like freedom.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: There used to be a time where because I love someone, and this could be anyone, friend, family, anyone.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: I would hold on to that love and think that that love was enough for them to do right by me.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: I would hold on to that love, thinking that the love was enough for them to do right by me.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like I could love someone enough that they would be better human beings.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: The reason I wasn't growing in certain situations is because I was not in fertile ground to grow.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: Not always where we are planted, are we able to grow there.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: Finding peace and fullness and wholeness in my life has been about knowing the difference.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: Knowing the difference between where I can grow and when I should go.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: My life transformed by knowing that.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: But sometimes people can't receive us.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: So how do we lovingly back away from people?
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: Because not all the time do we have to back away and it's a fuck you.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes a lot of the time, it's a I am backing away from this situation because it's not good for me.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: And so these relationships that that we have, you know, they can be difficult.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: You can't love somebody into purpose.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: But just because I am open to loving someone does not mean that they know how to receive love.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: So many people are brought up on fear and not love.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: And what I mean by fear is the fear of rejection, the fear that I'm not good enough.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: And they're bringing all that fear into a relationship with you, whether it's a romantic relationship, whether it's a relationship with a family member or a friend or even a colleague.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: We're all just a sum of everything that's ever happened to us, yes, but there are some of us who are actively working to make everything that has ever happened to us of value somehow.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: And when you're around people that don't have that same mindset, sometimes you gotta take your ass off.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes that means walking away from the closest people to you.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: But usually people who go no contact with family specifically, they go no contact in order to save themselves.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: I've done it before, I've done it and I've never regretted it.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: I've never regretted it because when I went no contact, my no contact was me saying, I'm choosing me and this motherfucker.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: Finally, finally, I'm not going to be bound by this relationship.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: I'm choosing me and this motherfucker.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: And guess what?
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: I have never in life regretted choosing myself.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: Then I was ready.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: I saw it.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: I saw it.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: I saw nothing that I can ever do will make this a healthy relationship.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't care about anybody's opinion.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: The only thing I cared about in that moment was my peace.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I even had someone say, Life is short.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: Life is short.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: What if something happened to you or that person this week?
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: I said, Life is short.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: And because life is short, fuck them.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't care who it is.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: I knew that my life was better.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I never regretted that decision.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: That decision really transformed my life because if you are enough, then you understand that you plus the universe is a majority and you don't have to sit there and deal with anybody's abuse.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: I know how to be good to people and mean it.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: Don't feel like you have to stay up in that shit.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: You will get in life what you can receive.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: You can have peace and say peace out at the same time.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: You can do both, but that doesn't necessarily mean that it's easy because love is still love.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes the greatest act of love is letting go.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: Is by letting go.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: And you know what?
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm realizing as I am talking about this, I have never I have never had an issue with a happy bitch.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: Ever.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: But you show me an insecure woman.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll show you a bitch that don't like me.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: Fortunately, fortunately, um, I don't I don't have that in my life now.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: But man, I can look back on certain experiences and I'm like, why didn't she like me?
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: Oh letting go is letting go is hard, though.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying that it's not difficult.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: What I am saying, though, it's much more difficult if you don't do it.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think it's healthy to throw away relationships because something didn't go your way, or because you're so self-centered that you can't see someone else's point of view, that only your point of view matters.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's not what I'm saying.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think that is unhealthy.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I think a lot of people walk away from relationships because they don't like confrontation.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: To say, I will no longer tolerate this, whatever this is, that's when your superpower kicks in.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: Are you walking away because you set boundaries and that you're enough?
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: Or are you walking away just out of anger to punish?
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: That's the difference.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think a lot of people they go no contact and they get really proud about being no contact, and then they're not growing.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we're just also born into the wrong families.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: This is not like a spiritual connection.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: Fuck the family.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: Reminds me of soul food.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: You know what?
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: Fuck the family.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: I let the family in the house, and you know what?
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: The family, fuck my husband.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: And you just happen to be born in this family.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: And guess what?
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: Y'all may not even like each other.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: If y'all weren't family, y'all wouldn't even deal with each other.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: Because you're my cousin doesn't mean anything unless it means something to you.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: If it means something to you, then it might mean something to me.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: But let me tell you something.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: If it doesn't mean anything to you, I'll be damned if it means something to me.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: Shit, some of y'all's family reunions are like eating ribs with a with, as Hillary Clinton said, a basket of deplorables.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: And then sometimes you have people in your family that you may have nothing in common with.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely nothing.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: But you know what?
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: That person loves you down.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: You live different lives, but at the end of the day, you know that person is going to be there for you, and you're going to be there for them.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: There are people who have beautiful families, wonderful families that are close, loving families that are supportive, and they're going to be there for each other no matter what.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: Even if they fuss and fight, they're going to be down.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_00: And that is great.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: But for those of us who don't have that, don't let that reality drag you down and be and have you anchored to pain and frustration and drama your entire life.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: You waste your time with people who don't give a fuck about you.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: I'm telling you.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: Those relationships are going to age badly, and you are going to age badly.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even know how I got on this damn topic.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, Hunter Biden.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: Kudos to you, Hunter Biden, for being free.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I think for me, there was a point in my life where I had to stop and think and be like, wait a minute, why isn't this relationship working out with this person?
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't mean like a romantic relationship.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: It could be a friendship, whatever.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: I would I would think, why isn't this working out?
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: Because I know who I am.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: I know what I'm giving to this person.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: I understand that this person can't receive it, but why?
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then I stopped asking what their why was.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: I started asking what my why was.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: Why the fuck was I still trying to give people something that they couldn't receive?
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_00: Why was I investing so much time in something that would give me no return?
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I think a lot of people do that.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I think I did that at the time because I want to prove to you that I am enough.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_00: And when I realized that was some bullshit, that's when life changed.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: And it's been good ever since.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's been pretty sweet.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: Did you guys see?
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: The last thing I want to talk about, did you guys see the woman who went to the Usher concert and she was like stiff when she was when Usher was trying to mount her?
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: Usher basically said, like, don't come up here unless you're down.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: And this is just me.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: I always think it's really weird to let any celebrity mount you.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I you don't know them, but I don't think that it should be expected that any woman would let anybody mount her just because we're on stage.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: Who would I just let mount me on stage like that?
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: Besides Janelle Monet, Luke James, Rihanna, Meg Destalia.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: I just can't even think of who.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_00: On that note, hope you have a week where you feel good and know that you are enough.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to the Rich Spenster Podcast.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: You can listen to the podcast anywhere you listen to podcasts and watch the podcast on YouTube at Rich Spenster.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: Please follow me on Instagram at Rich Spenster.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: Have a wonderful week, everyone, and I will talk to you all soon.