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What God Says About Admonishing and Correcting Children - Kevin Swanson · Passing On The Faith

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: The consequences are dire as a disregard for parental authority results in a disregard for God.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_01: And where there's no real correction of children in the home, when they're very young, what we find is that these young men and young women grow up and things go very badly with them.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_01: They don't get along the sandbox in the workplace.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: There's this disregard for church discipline, a disregard for church elders, a disregard for all of God ordained authority in the churches.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_01: Why?
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_01: Because they didn't learn it in the home when they were 12 or 13 years of age.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_01: And so you get a ongoing social disintegration of family, church, workplace.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_01: So much falls apart on this point, my friends.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: We're listening to Passing on the Faith, a podcast from generations.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: Every week, we bring you a powerful moment from one of our sermons, audiobooks, webinars, or conference talks.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: Antext to help you build a strong biblical foundation for your family.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: This week's episode is a sermon from an equipping series at Reformation Church of Elizabeth, entitled What God Says About Correcting and Admonishing Children by Kevin Swanson.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: Let's now turn in our Bibles to Ephesians chapter 6.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: Ephesians 6.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: This morning we'll focus in on verses 1 through 4 one more time.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I realize we've been here before, but I do want to point out to you that we have a fair number of children in this church.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: What do we have?
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: Eight children in utero right now.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_01: That may be a record for us.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_01: But it's a blessing.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_01: Children are a blessing, and we're so thankful that the Lord has poured out such a huge blessing upon this body.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: But at the same time, we want to be sure that we're following through on what the Word of God says about our children, how we are to raise them in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord Jesus Christ.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: So therefore, it's important for us to equip the saints for every good work, as we're commanded to in 2 Timothy 3, 16 and 17.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_01: We work through books of the Bible.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_01: I'm looking forward to getting back into Romans, but uh I'm doing a short series of messages on the raising of children and certain equipping of the saints in these critical areas of life.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_01: Indeed, the word of God is there to equip the man and woman of God for every good work, including that of raising our children.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: So let's uh let's now read Ephesians 6, verses 1 through 4.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: Please stand with me and let's hear the word of God.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment, with promise, that it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: And you fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_01: This is the very word of God.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: Let's pray.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_01: Our Father in heaven, O God, we thank you for your word.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: We pray, Father, that you would open this up to us in a new way.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: We pray your Holy Spirit to do the heavy lifting this morning, to really enlighten our eyes and to equip us and to encourage us and to once more bring us back to the gospel and the significance of it.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: In Jesus' name.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_01: Amen.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_01: Please be seated.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_01: One of the surprising things about coming back to this subject is myself coming to the realization that I am growing in my understanding of what the Word of God has to say about these things.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_01: I think what happens is that we get the Bible in bits and pieces, a proof text here and there, and what we need is we need to put the bits and pieces together for the whole puzzle.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: It's in other words, it's one thing to have a half put-together puzzle, or this piece and that piece of a puzzle, but it's better to put all the pieces together so you can see the full picture.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_01: I'm guessing that makes a lot of sense to those of you that are here.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_01: But uh again, as we come back to subjects like this and we do our best to put all the biblical pieces together for the full picture, it's uh surprising the way in which the whole picture comes into focus.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: Those of you who are older parents, you have children perhaps out of the home, et cetera, et cetera, as you come back to subjects like this, and as you study more of the Word of God, I'm guessing this happens to you.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: You probably are saying something like, I wish I had known this 25 years ago.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_01: But the point is that God is growing us, he's growing me.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_01: My wife, I think, questions somewhat of my competence to give a message like this, given that we ourselves have made mistakes, and she's absolutely right with that.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_01: But the point is that I'm growing too.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_01: God's working on me, and that my understanding of his word has increased, I trust, quite a bit through the years.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think I would have given this message 20 years ago, for example.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_01: Uh so it really comes back into focus to us as we continue to come back over the Word of God over and over again.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_01: The most important thing I think I could say to young parents is be very humble, be teachable, be open for correction.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_01: We say this to young couples getting married as well.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_01: We want to be sure that as you jump into the uh raft and you are running down the river, that's category six, seven, and eight uh waterfalls, etc., etc., you know that you probably shouldn't be real proud about it.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: You should be willing to take some advice along the way.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: It's otherwise you're gonna fall out of the boat.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_01: So it's life is that way.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: Life is such that we want to be sure that we're getting as much wisdom as we possibly can.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, this, of course, raising children is probably the scariest thing, the most difficult thing, the most challenging thing of our lives, requiring supernatural outpourings of three things faith, wisdom, and love.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that really summarizes uh my perspective this morning.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: We we need a ton of love.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_01: We need a ton of wisdom, and we need a ton of faith as we step out to do this breathtaking thing called raising children in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord Jesus Christ.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: So, so from the outset, we're going to talk about correction today, but uh I'm encouraging all of us to be open for correction.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_01: In other words, if we're not open for correction, if we're not open ourselves as parents for any of the admonitions that should be happening within the context of the church, we can't expect our children to be open for any kind of admonition either.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: So my first challenge to all of us is be sure, be sure, be sure that you ourselves are teachable and open for that correction.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_01: Well, the subject this morning is really admonishment.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_01: Verse 4 of Ephesians 6 says, You fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and the admonition of the Lord.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_01: Now we spent a few weeks on the training of the Lord, the paidea of the Lord, which is the overarching, full orbed view of raising the whole child, emotionally, spiritually, physically, intellectually, etc., etc.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: So we already looked up paidea.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: Now we're going to look at the second word in Ephesians 6 and verse 4, and that is the admonition of the Lord Jesus Christ.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_01: This is a major theme throughout Scripture.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's a massive thing.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: If you've gotten into the wisdom literature, you know that there is so much said about receiving correction.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: The scoffer does not receive correction.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_01: Just go ahead and pass over him, move on, talk to others.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_01: It's not worth your time.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_01: The scoffer is in a ton of trouble.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: The fool does not receive correction, etc.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: So there is the fool and there's the wise person who is open for admonishment and correction.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_01: This is a massive theme in Jesus' teaching.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_01: In fact, I would suggest the the major portion of Jesus' teaching, certainly to the Jews, the Pharisees, the scribes, etc., is one admonishment after another, a ton of admonishment.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_01: So much correction, reproof.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: The idea, of course, leading to repentance.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_01: But this is a theme that is largely unpopular today.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_01: The idea that we're going to church to hear a bunch of admonishment.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: People don't really like that very much.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: In fact, actually, Ephesians chapter 4 talks about how our psalms, spiritual songs and hymns, etc., are to convey an admonishing, that we're to admonish each other.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: We're to correct each other.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: We're to bring this correction and rebuke in the form of music.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_01: That doesn't sound very sentimental.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: You know, that's kind of an odd word thrown into Ephesians 5.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_01: Does Paul make a mistake by bringing that word into Ephesians 5, using music for the purpose of admonishment?
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_01: You've got to be kidding me.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_01: Well, admonishment is just not really something people like very much.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that's largely because it's somewhat painful.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_01: But uh but I think it does come back to the 19th century.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_01: The reason there's so much resistance to the theme of reproof and repentance and the rod is uh because of a shift in perspective concerning the nature of man.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: So this goes back to the 19th century with a problem called Pelagianism, which was uh the doctrine of Pelagius, who was very active during the time of King Arthur and his court.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_01: If you know anything about the history of King Arthur, you know that Pelagius was pretty much dominating the Brits down there on the western side of the English Isles at that time.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_01: So you know something about Pelagius, but Pelagius was resurrected in the 19th century.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_01: Pelagius taught that uh babies are born basically good, the capability of loving God and doing good.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_01: And so, therefore, what needs to happen is an adjustment of the environment.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_01: Be sure that you provide a proper environment for that child who starts out as essentially good.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_01: This actually goes back to John Jacques Rousseau as well.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_01: It starts out his uh his classic work with the line, all men are born free or born good.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so if the nature of the child is in good shape, then all we need to concern ourselves with is the nurture of the child.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_01: The question is this how does a person do something good?
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_01: Is it their nature or their nurture?
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_01: What is it that helps them to do that which is good?
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_01: Is it nature or nurture?
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_01: Or what is it that causes them to do that which is evil?
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_01: Is it nature or nurture?
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_01: Pelagianism teaches that the child is born good, and all that we need to do is carefully control the negative environmental influences, usually bad parenting, and then institute positive environmental influences which will produce the optimal peace or the optimal person.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_01: So this is the root of all kinds of evil in the world.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: The blame for people killing their children and raping people is placed on the environment by liberals.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_01: You know this.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_01: That's why you have district attorneys that are rushing into the big cities and just trying to uh to empty out the prisons and so forth.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_01: That's the kind of thing that's been happening since the 19th century.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_01: So what they do is they they they don't say that the nature of the person really contributed much to this.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_01: It was their negative environmental influences that brought about their condition.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_01: In other words, they were in the presence of a bad mother or a bad father, and that's what made them bad.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_01: And so the death penalty in America was abolished in 1852 in the first states, I think it was Michigan, Massachusetts, some of those states, and prison sentences were reduced, and after that, a trillion-dollar penitentiary system came about where taxpayers bear the burden of the criminal activity of the country.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_01: Government then also took over education, welfare, and the regulation of all society.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_01: Because liberals like Horace Mann, many of you know Horace Mann, is the founder of government education.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_01: He wrote this jails and prisons are the natural consequences of neglected education.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_01: And he said public schools would eliminate all poverty and vice or criminal activity.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_01: So again, the positive view of man, the plagianism of view, has really worked in all of American institutions.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_01: And the theology of the 19th century has brought about great destruction in human society over a period of 150 years.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_01: Now, somebody laughed when I said public schools would eliminate all poverty and vice because conditions are far worse today than they were in 1845 after dumping$100 trillion into education.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_01: Again, the assumption is what?
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_01: The assumption is this.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_01: If you could just empower governments and super smart, super righteous bureaucrats, because we know that uh bureaucrats, people work for government, and once they start working for government, they turn into these amazing, smart, righteous people, right?
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_01: And so if you put these amazing, smart and righteous people in control of every aspect of a child's life, he's gonna turn out morally amazing.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_01: By the way, let me just say this quite a number of the 19th century peoples that wrote on this did not themselves ever have a child.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_01: So that I was remembering I was in a debate one time on some of these matters, and my wife said about the guy who I was debating.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_01: She said, I don't think he's married, and he certainly hasn't had any children yet.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, if you could just have some children, maybe that would help his worldview somewhat.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_01: But the the problem with all of this is what?
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_01: It counters a biblical view of the nature of man.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_01: David says in Psalm 51, In sin did my mother conceive me.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_01: And Romans 5, 19, again, by one man's disobedience, that is Adam's disobedience, many were made sinners.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_01: So again, the question is, why do men do bad things?
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_01: Because they had a bad raising?
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_01: A good raising can actually curb the bad expressions of an evil heart a little bit.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_01: It's true.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_01: A bad raising can incite even worse expressions of a bad heart.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_01: But ultimately, what did Jesus say?
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you've got to go straight to the wisdom of Christ here, where Jesus speaks of man's sinful condition.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_01: And he's talking about whether the outside is going to affect the inside, whether eating things you know that are dirty or without clean hands, etc., etc.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_01: Are there external influences on the individual that will effectively somehow contaminate him morally?
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_01: Or is it something inside of him that will contaminate everything?
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_01: And Jesus says in Matthew 15, out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_01: These are the things which defile a man, but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile a man.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_01: The Bible speaks of the heart as deceitful above all things and desperately wicked.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_01: Just out of control.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_01: And then Romans 3 again, there is no righteous, no one, not one.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_01: There is none who understands, there is none who seeks after God.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_01: They have all turned aside.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_01: They have altogether become unprofitable.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_01: There is none who does good, no not one.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_01: And so we as Christians who receive the biblical view of the nature of man, we're not going to trust natural man.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_01: We're to trust the natural heart of man.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_01: The heart is like a raging bull, ready to pour out evil in the worst possible way, unless restrained and held back.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: So now let's come back to Ephesians 6 at verse 4 one more time.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_01: Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and the amnition of the Lord.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_01: So what is this word amnision?
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's Nuthatea.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_01: Nuthesia, sorry, Nuthhasia in the noun form.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_01: And the word basically means warning.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: That's really probably the best translation of the word is warning.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_01: Or correction, that's fine too.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_01: 2 Thessalonians 3.4, 1 Thessalonians 5.14, throughout the New Testament, you have at least seven or eight references to admonition because we are to admonish one another.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_01: So this is something to be happening within the context of a church.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_01: So if you don't happen to have any children, yet within the church body, we need to be interacting with each other and bringing this admonishing one to another.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_01: 2 Thessalonians 3.14 says we are to admonish the person who will not obey the word that was given.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_01: 1 Thessalonians 5.14 says we're to admonish the unruly.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_01: And then in 1 Corinthians 4, Paul admonishes and warns them.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_01: He says, I am admonishing you right now, because the church is proud and divisive, and they have not properly disciplined the unrepentant in the congregation.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_01: And Paul says, I'm intentionally admonishing you of this right now.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_01: He uses that word.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_01: And then again, Acts 20 and verse 31, Paul says, I admonished you, and I warned you guys in the Church of Ephesus day and night with tears.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_01: And the whole context there is that he was attempting to correct false teaching in Ephesus.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_01: So what is it?
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_01: To admonish is to correct bad thinking or bad doctrine and bad behavior.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_01: So that's it.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_01: Very simply put, that's what it's all about.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_01: This is said as a major theme throughout the wisdom book of Proverbs.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_01: If you're teaching your children the book of Proverbs, you're coming upon this probably in every single chapter.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_01: I would say at least 50 or 60 or 70 times we keep coming back to this subject of whether or not a child is receiving admonishments.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_01: For example, Proverbs 15, 31, the ear that hears the rebukes of life will abide among the wise.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_01: He who disdains instruction despises his own soul, but he who heeds rebuke gets understanding.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_01: Admonishment is effectively a confrontation with somebody who is thinking, saying, or doing the wrong thing.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_01: It can be a warning, it can be a rebuke, it can be a soft nudge on the elbow.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_01: And again, I think it's important for us to be gentle in this.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_01: And the whole idea of gentleness to be a paoos, gentle person is what?
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's to calibrate the force.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_01: Always be one who is calibrating the force.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, this may not require a sledgehammer.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_01: This may require a trim hammer.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_01: Trim hammer.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_01: Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_01: For the teeny little nails.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, we calibrate, right?
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_01: We calibrate the admonishment.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_01: That's important.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_01: So it can be a warning, it can be a rebuke, can be a soft nudge in the elbow, but it's usually direct and it's usually at least a little bit painful.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_01: That's what we read in Hebrews chapter 12.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_01: So now let me answer a few questions for us as we take on this subject of admonishment.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_01: Why do parents need to admonish and correct their children?
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_01: Well, number one, I'll just say this simply, because God commands it.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_01: That's just a command.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_01: That's what we're to do.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_01: So we should do what our Lord Jesus Christ, our Master, has told us to do.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_01: As parents, that's a big part of what it is to be a parent.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_01: And then secondly, we must admonish because our children need admonishment.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_01: Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_01: We read this.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_01: We have a problem of ignorance as well as rebellion in the heart and the mind, both of these things.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_01: And we have to remind our children, and we need to remind ourselves, that there is actually something very wrong.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_01: There's something very wrong with you.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_01: Extremely wrong.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_01: And granted, the message is often resisted.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_01: When someone says, there's something very wrong with you.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_01: Perhaps you've had this happen to you before.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_01: Somebody, you know, types out about ten pages and they bring it to you and they say, I've come to the conclusion that there's something very wrong with you.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_01: And you're sitting there going, oh boy, this is going to be a while, you know, to go through the list.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_01: And that's probably good at that point to remind them that you've got on the list as well.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_01: It's about 400 pages, and if they really want to see it, uh, there it is at home.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_01: You're just adding maybe a little bit to uh to what uh they're adding a little bit to what what you have already.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_01: But whatever the case is, we we are reminded that there is something wrong with us.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_01: There is something that needs to be corrected in us, whether it be foolishness, lies, deception, bad thinking, or bad behavior.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_01: So, in short, a child has the problem of ignorance.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_01: Child starts out in ignorance, actually doesn't know very much.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_01: That's one reason why you want to be careful with children.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_01: Don't oppose the idea that they know as much as you do.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_01: And that applies as much to a 16-year-old as to the six-year-old.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_01: There should be a sense of, you know, applying whatever or knowing your child well enough to know what they need at the moment.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_01: I like to use the example of if somebody comes to me and says, How long should my three-year-old boy sit still at Bible time if he's got ants in his pants?
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_01: And the answer is, I don't really know.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_01: It all has to do with how well you know him, how much you love him, how much he loves you, how much how many ants in his pants were there yesterday versus today.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_01: Uh there's just a lot tied into these things.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_01: That's why there's we don't have these hard and fast rules for how parents are training up their children because there's so much individuality involved in all of this.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_01: It's important that parents get to know their children and respond to where they happen to be in terms of their.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_01: Their ignorance or their knowledge.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_01: So why do we admonish?
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_01: Well, because children are ignorant.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_01: Children have disobedient actions.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_01: They are rebellious as well.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_01: They have a rebel heart that needs to be addressed.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_01: So why admonish?
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_01: What's the purpose of admonishment?
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_01: Well, because ultimately you cannot live in ignorance and in lies and deception.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_01: That's the bottom line.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_01: The bottom line is that we are surrounded by a ton of lies.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_01: The devil is the father of lies.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_01: The world is lying.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_01: They're pouring out lies all the time in the media and all the rest.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_01: So there's hundreds of thousands of lies.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_01: And then the child himself is born in lies.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_01: Has got all these lies about him.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_01: And so whenever he hauls off and slugs his sister as if it's okay, we have to come around and say, well, that's not okay.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_01: That's actually wrong.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_01: The ultimate lie, of course, is that sin is okay, but sin is not okay.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_01: And the other thing is, you're not okay.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_01: So that's, again, hard to convey a message like that, but that's really the heart and the soul of admonishment.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_01: We correct our children because they are born in sin, because they're surrounded by deceptions, because they're ignorant and they need this regular admonishment.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_01: And then thirdly, parents are in a position of authority and are held responsible by God to give these admonishments to their children.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_01: God has established that authority.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_01: We read that in the first several verses of our passage, Ephesians 6 and verse 1.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_01: Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_01: And the little word in the Lord, what's that mean?
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it means several things.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_01: One is that we're in relationship with the Lord.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_01: So we, as those who have a more covenantal view of things, believe that parents are in the Lord, and children are in the Lord as well.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_01: So there's an in the Lordness, there's a relationship with the Lord, but there's also a relationship under the Lord.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm going to include that in it as well.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_01: That the parents and the children are in relationship with one another, and they are both under the authority of the Lord Jesus Christ.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_01: We are under the Master Himself.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_01: And so the children need to submit themselves to the Master.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_01: And the parents need to submit themselves to the Master as well.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_01: If parents are encouraging their children to sin against God, children cannot participate because all are under the authority of God Himself.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_01: I suppose an example would be if the CEO of a company tells an employee to do this or that, the middle manager tries to come in and says, no, no, no, don't do that, do it this way.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_01: The employee needs to submit to the CEO of the company.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_01: Why?
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_01: Because he's at the very, very top.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_01: He is the one in charge of all of it.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think we understand this idea of authority.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think this is a complicated thing.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_01: When a police officer pulls you over on uh Highway 86 for doing 79 miles an hour, um he understands his authority.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_01: He has the right to do what he just did.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_01: He polled you over, he can give you a ticket.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_01: He's very calm and collected and such, and perhaps you're panicking at the moment or whatever, but uh he doesn't lose his temper, he doesn't like try to force you to obey the laws, etc., etc.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_01: He just calmly pulls out his book and writes the ticket because he knows he's got all the authority of the state of Colorado behind him.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_01: He's sure of that.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_01: And just in a similar way, God has deputized mom and dad in the home.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_01: And God is above the state of Colorado, he's far above all principals and powers, the Lord Jesus Christ, the master over all, has put you in place as mom, as dad, to be the very calm and cool authority that fears God, understands your authority in the home, and takes that authority seriously.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_01: Let's say this happens: a rebellious kid takes some pot shots with his 22 at a police officer and actually kills the guy.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_01: My guess is the state will be extremely concerned about that.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_01: My guess is the state would be likely to put him to death for something like that.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_01: The offense is extremely strong.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_01: If Iraq decides to kill the U.S.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_01: ambassador, it would be a very bad thing to do.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_01: Let's say Iraq just, you know, the Iraqi government got irritated with the U.S.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_01: ambassador and kills the ambassador, do you think there'd be a severe reaction on the part of the president of the United States?
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_01: What do you think?
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_01: Um, our president, like today?
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not sure Baghdad would survive it.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_01: I'm talking about the whole city.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_01: Now, here's my question.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_01: Who are you as mom?
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_01: As dad in the home, who are you?
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_01: You're put there by God Himself.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_01: And God would be very concerned if there was somebody in that home who would not respect and not honor.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_01: The mom and the dad that's been deputized to put in position in that home.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_01: Almighty God has put you in the home to be the authority in that home.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_01: That's very important.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_01: That's why the verse, honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_01: So, dad and mom, you serve God.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_01: You need to recognize your authority, be comfortable with your authority in the home.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_01: And you need to act upon your authority in the home.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_01: But remember, you're under authority as well.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_01: There's no rogue police officers here.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_01: You can't run around shooting everybody around the county just because you're drunk and irritated with everybody.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_01: You follow me?
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_01: The police officer can't do that.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_01: He still operates within the realm of his own authority with authority that's been given to him by the state.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_01: Does that make sense?
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_01: So you as a mom and dad, you have been given a certain amount of authority in your home.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_01: You can't just run around exercising authority in the wrong way, becoming abusive and angry and self-oriented and all of that.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_01: You can't be doing any of that as well.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_01: So this respect for authority is rooted in the fear of God.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_01: It's very basic to all of life.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_01: It's one reason why we do need to continue to raise our children in the fear of the Lord as well.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_01: See, God takes the fifth commandment very seriously.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_01: In fact, some of the most shocking verses in the Bible show up in this context.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_01: Jesus himself in Matthew 15, this verse is rarely preached in churches, but Jesus himself affirms the Old Testament law where if a man is beating on his mother or father and cursing mother or father, Jesus said, Let him be put to death.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_01: Now why is that?
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_01: That just seems rather strict, rather, wow, like as if God takes this whole honor thing seriously.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_01: What is it?
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_01: Proverbs 20 as well.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_01: Whoever curses his father and mother, his lamp will be put out in deep darkness.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_01: In Proverbs 30 and verse 17, the eye that mocks his father and scorns obedience to his mother, the ravens of the valley will pick it out, and the young eagles will eat it.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_01: Remember, I was in a supermarket a number of years ago, I was King's Supers, I think, down in Parker, and I was over in the meat department, and I saw this uh could have been a 16, 17, 18-year-old boy, in his father's face, cursing his father.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I was just transfixed for a moment.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_01: Have you ever seen somebody pull out a 45 and just plug somebody, kill them in cold blood in a supermarket in Parker?
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_01: Have you that ever happened to you where you were so shocked, you were like, somebody has just murdered somebody else in cold blood?
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_01: That was the sort of feeling I had when I saw this 16 or 17-year-old boy in his father's face cursing his father.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_01: Shocking.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_01: One of the most horrible things that could ever happen in human society.
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_01: That's the way that God looks upon this position of a father and a mother, the authority in the home under God.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_01: That's the way, that's the way it's looked at.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_01: So much of social breakdown and family church business, other parts of life, I believe, is connected to the violation of the fifth commandment.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_01: Remember, this commandment is attended by a temporal promise that it will go well with you and you will live long upon the earth.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_01: It's really the only major temporal promise I know of in the Old Testament.
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_01: There is the blessing upon thousand generations, etc.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_01: I see that more as an eternal kind of a blessing, but this being more of a temporal blessing that really things will go well with our culture, with our social situation, etc.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_01: And so much of the social chaos and the cultural chaos and the political unrest in countries.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I've talked about going all the way back to the Bolshevik Revolution and the crazy things that were happening in Russia and Germany, etc., etc., and the cultural chaos that's going on in our country today, I think it has much to do with this the problem of the violation of the Fifth Commandment.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_01: How do you get from Bach to Eminem's rape rap referring to a mother as a female dog and on and on and on?
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_01: How do you get such degradation in human culture and society?
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_01: This degradation of attitudes and music and language from one generation to the next.
• 34:51
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that's because there are substanti quite a number of generations going back into the 1950s, 1940s a bit, where there really wasn't an honor played to parents and to grandparents.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_01: And the popular culture is very much into a dishonor towards parents, and it's enculturated this rebellion against parents that seems to be getting worse from generation to generation.
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that happens, and things will not go well with you in the earth.
• 35:20
  SPEAKER_01: So you're sitting in counseling trying to work with somebody and you simply ask the question, how's your relationship with your father or your mother?
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_01: and find out that it's very bad, actually, and you find out that your counseling's not going very well either.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_01: So marriages, economies, cultures, etc., break down where there is no real honor for mothers and fathers.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_01: The consequences are dire as a disregard for parental authority results in a disregard for God.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_01: And where there's no real correction of children in the home, when they're very young, what we find is that these young men and young women grow up and things go very badly with them.
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_01: They don't get along the sandbox in the workplace.
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_01: There's this disregard for church discipline, a disregard for church elders, a disregard for all of God ordained authority in the churches.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_01: Why?
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_01: Because they didn't learn it in the home when they were 12 or 13 years of age.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_01: And so you get an ongoing social disintegration of family, church, workplace.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_01: So much falls apart on this point, my friends.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_01: And let me say one more thing.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_01: I believe that more is caught than taught as well.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_01: Children will get the message when a father does not submit to the elders in the church, or when wives don't submit to their husbands.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_01: In their language, in their demeanor, in their ways in which they talk about their husbands behind their backs, etc.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_01: When that happens, children will often rebel against their parents as well, especially when they turn 16, 17, 18 years of age, and that willfulness and rebellion just continues generation upon generation.
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_01: So these are the reasons for admonishment.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_01: But let's get on to the purpose of admonishment.
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_01: The purpose or the thing that's happening in admonishment is not punishment.
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_01: So I want to distinguish between punishment and correction.
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_01: I do believe that the Word of God brings this out, and I want to bring out as clearly as I can today, first from Hebrews chapter 12.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_01: And here's my question: God chastises his children.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_01: God chastens his children.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_01: Now that word chasten, I'll get to it in just a moment.
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_01: But does that mean that God brings judicial punishment down upon his children?
• 37:42
  SPEAKER_01: Like he's bringing his judgments down upon his children.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like God is going to judge me, and I will be subject to the wrathful judgments of Almighty God as his child.
• 37:56
  SPEAKER_01: That's not what this passage is bringing out.
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_01: The word chasten in this passage, Hebrews 12, 7 through 10, is the word paidea again.
• 38:06
  SPEAKER_01: It talks about what we do with children.
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_01: It's a way in which we treat children.
• 38:11
  SPEAKER_01: The word chasten, I'm not sure I like the word chasten because nobody really knows what it means.
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_01: Most people think it means to punish.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't mean to punish.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_01: It's the word paidea again.
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_01: It's the idea of training a child.
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_01: It's a training word, it's a teaching word, it's a correcting word.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_01: If you endure this training, this teaching, this correction, that God deals with you as with sons, for what son is there whom a father does not chasten or teach or train?
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_01: Paideia.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_01: But if you are without this training, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons.
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_01: Furthermore, we had human fathers who corrected us, we paid them respect.
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_01: Shall we not much more readily be in subject to the father's spirits and live?
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_01: And so forth.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_01: So the purpose of correction is not punishment, the purpose is teaching.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_01: See, when we correct, we're we're giving our children a sense of what the law of God tells us to do or what not to do.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_01: Proverbs 13, verse 24 also.
• 39:07
  SPEAKER_01: The Old Testament verses bring this out as well with this Hebrew word musar.
• 39:11
  SPEAKER_01: So let me just touch on those passages referring to the word musar for just a moment, because this I think is helpful.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_01: This is the word for chasten yet in the Old Testament.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_01: Proverbs 13, 24.
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_01: It says, He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines or musars him promptly.
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_01: Okay?
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_01: Now I think we all have thought of that as the use of the rod.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what the text brings out there.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_01: But the use of the rod is to musar, so to discipline.
• 39:38
  SPEAKER_01: The use of the rod is to discipline musar.
• 39:40
  SPEAKER_01: So what is musar?
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_01: Well, if you look at Proverbs 15, 5, you find the very same word used.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_01: Very interesting.
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_01: A fool despises his father's instruction.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_01: In that case, it's musar.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_01: A fool despises his father's musar, but he that regards reproof is prudent.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_01: In other words, musar is not punishment, it's not judgment.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_01: Musar is what?
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_01: To correct, to teach, to bring about some kind of instruction.
• 40:07
  SPEAKER_01: That's the way the word is used in Proverbs 15 and verse 5.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_01: So in the very broad sense, what we're trying to do with the rod and rebuke is to teach.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's a teaching thing.
• 40:18
  SPEAKER_01: Now we have two tools in the correction toolbox.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_01: As we read it in Proverbs 29, 15, correction for children involves two things, and that is the rod and reproof, or rebuke.
• 40:29
  SPEAKER_01: Children, you can put that in as rebuke in your notes if you want.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_01: The rod and reproof or rebuke.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_01: Proverbs 29, 15 brings out these two tools that we have in our toolbox when it comes to admonishing our children.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_01: The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_01: Correct your son, he will give you rest.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, he will give delight to your soul.
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_01: So the Bible actually doesn't tell you how often to use the rod, what kind of rod to use, how to use it, how many times, etc., etc.
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't tell you how often to use reproof, these sorts of things.
• 41:01
  SPEAKER_01: Now it would say that every child's unique, every child's different, so we have to tailor make it for each of our child's needs and concerns, etc., etc.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_01: But but the Bible does say in no uncertain terms that you are to use the rod.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_01: And yes, correction is to be painful.
• 41:16
  SPEAKER_01: That's Hebrews chapter 12.
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_01: Now, again, there are limits.
• 41:19
  SPEAKER_01: There are limits.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_01: The Bible actually puts a limit on lasting harm.
• 41:22
  SPEAKER_01: We'll find that in the Lex Talionis, etc.
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_01: We've gone over that before.
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_01: So there aren't absolute limits, and we don't have a great deal of time to go through the hows and the wins and the hows, how many's and such this morning, but but you need God's wisdom for all of this.
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_01: The one thing I want to impress upon you today, though, is that you've got to apply this admonition in a consistent way.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_01: Consistency is so essential for the teaching.
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_01: Why?
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_01: Because without consistency, we begin to see an internal contradiction develop within the messaging of the house.
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_01: The internal contradictions are not helpful, even as our own example can be an internal inconsistency.
• 42:05
  SPEAKER_01: That is, you know, when we've got ourselves all angry and worked up and full of this self-oriented, you know, irritated sort of response to our children in the moment, and they are responding the same way.
• 42:18
  SPEAKER_01: There's inconsistency in the house unless there's a humble confession of our own sin and coming around to admonish ourselves and to tell our children, yes, to be consistent about this.
• 42:29
  SPEAKER_01: I need the blood of Jesus Christ to cleanse me from my sins and to forgive me of these sins as well as you do.
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_01: And so there has to be a consistency about this within the home.
• 42:51
  SPEAKER_01: And if it's pretty severe and uh involves the rod or something like that, or there needs to be an extended amount of time, then dedicate the time.
• 43:00
  SPEAKER_01: It needs to be not just a consistency, but a commitment of time to this as a priority in the home.
• 43:06
  SPEAKER_01: Plan on anywhere from five to twenty minutes of correction, gospel, and prayer.
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_01: As we've said before, uh do not separate out the correction from the gospel.
• 43:15
  SPEAKER_01: I want to get there in just a moment.
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_01: But repetition is key.
• 43:18
  SPEAKER_01: Don't ever get tired of it.
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_01: Do not be weary in well-doing.
• 43:21
  SPEAKER_01: I realize moms are in the warfare.
• 43:23
  SPEAKER_01: Dad's the home is a battleground, absolutely.
• 43:25
  SPEAKER_01: Put on the whole armor of God every day.
• 43:26
  SPEAKER_01: Got to make sure you got the belt of truth well in place at all times, shield of faith, uh, helmet of salvation, gospel of peace on the shoes, etc.
• 43:36
  SPEAKER_01: And all prayer, of course.
• 43:37
  SPEAKER_01: So this is a major deal.
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's very hard, very tough.
• 43:41
  SPEAKER_01: You're up against Prince Powers and Powers.
• 43:43
  SPEAKER_01: You're fighting against the incredibly powerful influence of the devil that's doing everything he can in your home, as well as the world and the flesh and all of that.
• 43:53
  SPEAKER_01: So you're in warfare.
• 43:55
  SPEAKER_01: No question about it.
• 43:56
  SPEAKER_01: But what you're up against is a major lie.
• 43:58
  SPEAKER_01: And the major lie says this it's okay to sin against God in this home.
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_01: In which case you must say, no, it's not okay.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_01: The rod effectively is an implement of the law.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_01: The law communicates, the rod communicates the law.
• 44:18
  SPEAKER_01: The rod communicates truth.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_01: So long as it's associated with truth.
• 44:23
  SPEAKER_01: Child, you've disobeyed God.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_01: You're acting as if it's okay to obey God, disobey God.
• 44:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm telling you right now, it's not okay.
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_01: And the rod emphasizes the not okayness of sinning against God and lying about these certain things in the home.
• 44:42
  SPEAKER_01: Now, I think moms and dads need to think clearly about common situations and common lies that are acted out in the home.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_01: I have these in your notes as well.
• 44:50
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to go over five common lies very quickly because you've got to be able to explain these to your children.
• 44:55
  SPEAKER_01: You can't just kind of, okay, it was all bad, whack, whack, whack.
• 44:59
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, no, no.
• 45:00
  SPEAKER_01: We we need to be thoughtful in our discipline of our children in the home.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_01: What is happening in the home?
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_01: Well, disobedience and rebellion.
• 45:08
  SPEAKER_01: That's kind of easy.
• 45:10
  SPEAKER_01: That's rebellion against God, primarily, and a violation of the fifth commandment.
• 45:15
  SPEAKER_01: But it's rebellion against God.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_01: So don't just say you disobeyed mommy.
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, no, no, no.
• 45:21
  SPEAKER_01: Please don't do that.
• 45:23
  SPEAKER_01: You're disobeying God.
• 45:25
  SPEAKER_01: You're rebelling against God.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_01: Why?
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_01: Because your home is a God-centered home.
• 45:30
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 45:31
  SPEAKER_01: Or is it a me-centered home?
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_01: Is it a parent-centered home?
• 45:34
  SPEAKER_01: Or is it a child-centered home?
• 45:35
  SPEAKER_01: Which is it?
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_01: Are you parent-centered?
• 45:37
  SPEAKER_01: Are you child-centered?
• 45:38
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 45:39
  SPEAKER_01: Everybody say no.
• 45:40
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 45:41
  SPEAKER_01: We're God-centered here.
• 45:43
  SPEAKER_01: Your rebellion is against God.
• 45:45
  SPEAKER_01: Are you bringing this up in the discussion?
• 45:47
  SPEAKER_01: Are you getting to the real core of the matter?
• 45:49
  SPEAKER_01: Are you doing this in the discipline, the admonitions in the home?
• 45:52
  SPEAKER_01: Number two.
• 45:54
  SPEAKER_01: Complaining and grumbling.
• 45:56
  SPEAKER_01: What is this?
• 45:57
  SPEAKER_01: That's a lie.
• 45:59
  SPEAKER_01: That's communicating a lie.
• 46:01
  SPEAKER_01: What is the lie?
• 46:03
  SPEAKER_01: The lie your children are communicating, they're grumbling on the day after Christmas.
• 46:07
  SPEAKER_01: Is God is not good.
• 46:09
  SPEAKER_01: God has not been good to us, and God has not given us anything.
• 46:14
  SPEAKER_01: That's a lie.
• 46:17
  SPEAKER_01: That's a lie, children.
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_01: You are complaining, you are grumbling, and you are communicating right now that God is not good.
• 46:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm against that lie.
• 46:26
  SPEAKER_01: I stand against that lie.
• 46:30
  SPEAKER_01: I believe that God is good.
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I stand with that.
• 46:34
  SPEAKER_01: God has been very good to us.
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_01: And let me tell you all the reasons why I'm thankful and why we all should be thankful.
• 46:40
  SPEAKER_01: See, again, lies, you're addressing lies.
• 46:43
  SPEAKER_01: Situation three: anger, hitting, biting, and kicking.
• 46:46
  SPEAKER_01: What is this?
• 46:47
  SPEAKER_01: Well, usually it's turning self into the big God, and people aren't serving the God as the self God wants to be served, etc.
• 46:54
  SPEAKER_01: So it's turning self into God.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes pride lies at the root, proving one's better than somebody else.
• 47:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's also unloving, and it's not desiring the good or the better of others, it's desiring the hurt of others.
• 47:06
  SPEAKER_01: Situation four grabbing toys.
• 47:09
  SPEAKER_01: Children, you grab toys from time to time.
• 47:12
  SPEAKER_01: You look at other people's things, you want other people's things, you lust after other people's things.
• 47:17
  SPEAKER_01: Now, this again is a uh a violation of three or four commandments, but more often than not you lust because you do not ask for them.
• 47:23
  SPEAKER_01: And and you do not ask God for them, uh, as he is the source of all good gifts, but somehow you're not praying for them, you're wanting to go get them yourselves, again, displacing God.
• 47:35
  SPEAKER_01: With yourself as the source of all good gifts.
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_01: So this lusting after things, grabbing things, stealing things, etc., we need to address these things clearly with our children.
• 47:45
  SPEAKER_01: Are you with me?
• 47:46
  SPEAKER_01: You've got to, you've got to say, why?
• 47:48
  SPEAKER_01: Why is this wrong?
• 47:49
  SPEAKER_01: Don't just be irritated that somehow things aren't going your way.
• 47:52
  SPEAKER_01: But what are we doing in this house that's not according to God's truth?
• 47:57
  SPEAKER_01: Situation five is teasing and provoking other children to anger.
• 48:01
  SPEAKER_01: Does this ever happen in your homes?
• 48:02
  SPEAKER_01: Has this ever happened?
• 48:04
  SPEAKER_01: Ever.
• 48:05
  SPEAKER_01: Well, this kind of teasing and provoking others.
• 48:07
  SPEAKER_01: It communicates another lie.
• 48:09
  SPEAKER_01: It's to enjoy watching other people sin.
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_01: Now, of course, that's not loving.
• 48:14
  SPEAKER_01: We know that.
• 48:15
  SPEAKER_01: Teasing takes delight in evil.
• 48:18
  SPEAKER_01: Teasing rejoices in evil, does not rejoice in the truth, right?
• 48:21
  SPEAKER_01: So that's obviously not love.
• 48:22
  SPEAKER_01: This would be akin to rejoicing to watch a brother or sister go into damnation, go and go to hell.
• 48:28
  SPEAKER_01: Because we do find Jesus warning us about anger and being angry against one and being being in risk of hell fire, you know, that sort of thing.
• 48:36
  SPEAKER_01: So so is that a is that a good thing?
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_01: You kind of want to usher your brothers and sisters into the flames of hell where somehow they will just suffer forever and ever, weeping and gnashing of teeth.
• 48:49
  SPEAKER_01: Is that the goal in your teasing?
• 48:52
  SPEAKER_01: Is that what we're trying to accomplish here with the teasing in the home?
• 48:55
  SPEAKER_01: See again, speak the truth, brothers and sisters.
• 48:59
  SPEAKER_01: It's the truth.
• 49:00
  SPEAKER_01: We're just trying to correct lies here.
• 49:02
  SPEAKER_01: It's all what we're trying to do.
• 49:03
  SPEAKER_01: Now, here's a question of should we do timeouts or consequent charts and things of this nature?
• 49:10
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 49:11
  SPEAKER_01: So I want to address this for just a moment.
• 49:13
  SPEAKER_01: Now, the whole idea, what am I trying to convey here?
• 49:16
  SPEAKER_01: What is admonishing?
• 49:17
  SPEAKER_01: Admonishing is part of the paidea in which we are training and teaching a lesson.
• 49:23
  SPEAKER_01: So you need to be asking yourself as you're doing stuff with your kids and trying to punish them or whatever you're doing, are you really teaching a lesson?
• 49:33
  SPEAKER_01: Will leaving a child alone to be attended by his own wayward thoughts for the next hour really teach him a good lesson?
• 49:42
  SPEAKER_01: You need to be asking that question.
• 49:44
  SPEAKER_01: You're trying to be intelligent about this.
• 49:45
  SPEAKER_01: So again, will assigning more chores teach a lesson?
• 49:49
  SPEAKER_01: It's possible it might.
• 49:51
  SPEAKER_01: But at least ask the question.
• 49:53
  SPEAKER_01: What are you teaching?
• 49:54
  SPEAKER_01: What's the lesson you're trying to convey?
• 49:56
  SPEAKER_01: You are the person in charge of admonishing and teaching in the home, so what are you doing with this?
• 50:01
  SPEAKER_01: Will sending a child out to the barn in the middle of winter really teach a good lesson?
• 50:05
  SPEAKER_01: And what lesson do you intend to teach the child?
• 50:09
  SPEAKER_01: Is it a biblical lesson?
• 50:11
  SPEAKER_01: For example.
• 50:26
  SPEAKER_01: It's a restraining role to correction.
• 50:29
  SPEAKER_01: The rod can be a restraint.
• 50:31
  SPEAKER_01: And by the way, we're talking about two purposes for the law.
• 50:34
  SPEAKER_01: The one is to convict a sinner of sin and drive him to Christ.
• 50:37
  SPEAKER_01: And the second, another one, is to restrain the wicked such that they won't continue on with their wicked devices to destruction of themselves and others in a rapid sort of way.
• 50:50
  SPEAKER_01: So we do have a responsibility as parents as well to restrain our children.
• 50:55
  SPEAKER_01: And to not admonish or consistently correct opens the floodgates to all kinds of evil in the family and society.
• 51:03
  SPEAKER_01: David and Eli, obvious examples of this, men who did not restrain their sons and brought God's judgment down upon them for that.
• 51:12
  SPEAKER_01: So, but here I want to also say, you know, the rod is a training tool.
• 51:17
  SPEAKER_01: And we have to be careful that we don't use the rod.
• 51:20
  SPEAKER_01: It's a way in which we're trying to change the heart.
• 51:24
  SPEAKER_01: Or ultimately the long-term behavior of the child.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_01: Mere restraint cannot change the heart.
• 51:35
  SPEAKER_01: Probably the most famous book on child training that was released in the 1980s, 1990s, sold more copies among Christian audiences than any other book, including Shepherding a Child's Heart.
• 51:47
  SPEAKER_01: But this book, very, very popular among Christians.
• 51:53
  SPEAKER_01: And what they said is that training a child is like training a horse.
• 51:58
  SPEAKER_01: Using negative reinforcements, positive reinforcements, effectively behavioral modifications.
• 52:05
  SPEAKER_01: But now, if the rod becomes a behavioral modification tool in your mind, you're using it in the wrong way.
• 52:12
  SPEAKER_01: It's a cheap and easy way to fix the problem.
• 52:16
  SPEAKER_01: And it's cutting corners.
• 52:19
  SPEAKER_01: The child training program should not be focusing on forming external behavior patterns, but rather it should be teaching, forming ideas that tend to go to the heart of the matter.
• 52:36
  SPEAKER_01: The rod can turn into, and I'll tell you, this is very easy for this to happen, it can turn into a coercive, forceful thing for those that believe that we can change the heart and the behavior by imposing our will over their will.
• 52:50
  SPEAKER_01: And this is also how it becomes a tool by those driven by anger and control.
• 52:55
  SPEAKER_01: Very dangerous.
• 53:00
  SPEAKER_01: You have to be very, very careful with this.
• 53:03
  SPEAKER_01: The Bible does not speak of breaking the will, for example, like you break a horse.
• 53:08
  SPEAKER_01: It's not biblical.
• 53:10
  SPEAKER_01: That's the will of man imposed.
• 53:12
  SPEAKER_01: That's the strong Arminian way in which they believe, they come to believe, man comes to believe that there can be some kind of control placed upon an audience or a family.
• 53:24
  SPEAKER_01: If just enough persuasion, enough anger, or enough external control is placed upon the audience, we can get people saved.
• 53:33
  SPEAKER_01: We can change their hearts, and so on and so forth.
• 53:36
  SPEAKER_01: But that's not the way that the Word of God brings it out.
• 53:40
  SPEAKER_01: We teach, we surround our children with the truth of God's law and God's gospel.
• 53:46
  SPEAKER_01: We surround them with it.
• 53:48
  SPEAKER_01: We don't take a plant and just yell at the plant, grow, grow, grow.
• 53:52
  SPEAKER_01: You don't like forcefully pull it up just so you can get it to grow.
• 53:56
  SPEAKER_01: You know, like I'm gonna force you from the inside out in order to grow in godliness and in godly behavior and so forth.
• 54:05
  SPEAKER_01: That's that is a wrong theology, and it should not be used in the admonition and the correction of children.
• 54:14
  SPEAKER_01: The ultimate purpose, let's get to this.
• 54:16
  SPEAKER_01: The ultimate purpose of this correction is what?
• 54:19
  SPEAKER_01: It's to bring about regeneration life.
• 54:22
  SPEAKER_01: Now look at Proverbs 6 again, verses 20 to 23.
• 54:26
  SPEAKER_01: My son, keep your father's command, do not forsake the law of your mother, bind them continually upon your heart, tie them around your neck.
• 54:33
  SPEAKER_01: When you roam, they will lead you, when you sleep, they will keep you, and when you awake, they will speak with you.
• 54:37
  SPEAKER_01: For the commandment is a lamp, and the law is a light, and reproofs of instruction are the way of life.
• 54:44
  SPEAKER_01: Now, why is it?
• 54:45
  SPEAKER_01: Why is it put that way?
• 54:46
  SPEAKER_01: The way, the reproofs of instruction are the way of life.
• 54:49
  SPEAKER_01: All this reproving and all this correction is intended to be life-giving.
• 54:54
  SPEAKER_01: Now, here's one of the problems.
• 54:55
  SPEAKER_01: One of the problems, and this is the key part of the message, if you don't, if you forget everything else I've said, that's okay.
• 55:00
  SPEAKER_01: But don't miss this little part of the message right now.
• 55:03
  SPEAKER_01: And that is the key thing about reproof and correction is not just to correct children or anybody else, in terms of the lies they believe, in terms of the sin they're committing before God, etc., etc.
• 55:15
  SPEAKER_01: The idea is that we're correcting wrong-headed thinking about everything, about God, about God's glory, about God's goodness, about the intense evil of sin, yes, but the intense sufferings of Jesus Christ.
• 55:28
  SPEAKER_01: About, about how, you know, why do we reprove, why do we correct thinking, not just on sin, but these other issues, because we want our children to understand the blessing of the gospel.
• 55:40
  SPEAKER_01: We want them to run to Jesus.
• 55:42
  SPEAKER_01: We want everybody listening on a Sunday morning to realize we've minimized sin.
• 55:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, we tend to do this.
• 55:48
  SPEAKER_01: We tend to point the finger at others, and we spend most of our time blaming others about how, you know, our younger brother did this, the older brother did that, and so we we spend so much of our we're consumed oftentimes with pointing out the sins of others.
• 56:02
  SPEAKER_01: But no, no, no.
• 56:04
  SPEAKER_01: There's the wretchedness of our own sins with the glory of Jesus.
• 56:06
  SPEAKER_01: We've minimized Jesus too much.
• 56:09
  SPEAKER_01: We minimize his sufferings, we minimize his death.
• 56:12
  SPEAKER_01: We have not rightly believed in the mercy of God.
• 56:15
  SPEAKER_01: How merciful is God?
• 56:16
  SPEAKER_01: How loving was Jesus to take our burdens upon himself.
• 56:21
  SPEAKER_01: How much are our children running?
• 56:23
  SPEAKER_01: How much are we running to Jesus for forgiveness of sins?
• 56:26
  SPEAKER_01: Perhaps at times, too proud.
• 56:29
  SPEAKER_01: Too proud to be corrected as to the fact that we sin and we need Jesus.
• 56:34
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe there's just way too much pride.
• 56:36
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe that's why there's not much weeping over sin and falling down at the feet of Jesus and actually being appreciative of his amazing mercy and grace and acceptance of the sinner woman, the sinner man at the feet of Jesus.
• 56:49
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe we just haven't embraced the feet of Jesus enough.
• 56:51
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe we haven't cried over the feet of Jesus and wiped his feet with our tears as much as we could.
• 56:58
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe we've been too proud to run to Jesus.
• 57:01
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe we haven't really trusted in Jesus and received Jesus' forgiveness and his blood covering and the redemption from the bondage of sin so forth.
• 57:10
  SPEAKER_01: You see, it's it's a correction of all of this.
• 57:13
  SPEAKER_01: It's a correction of all of our thinking.
• 57:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's an encouragement and monishment to value Jesus, to run to Jesus, to get us out of the way of death and into the way of life.
• 57:27
  SPEAKER_01: Child, you need Jesus.
• 57:30
  SPEAKER_01: I need Jesus.
• 57:31
  SPEAKER_01: How much do we need Jesus?
• 57:32
  SPEAKER_01: How much should we value Jesus?
• 57:35
  SPEAKER_01: How much do we need his life in this home?
• 57:37
  SPEAKER_01: How much do we need his redemption?
• 57:38
  SPEAKER_01: How much do we need his love and his power and his grace in our lives?
• 57:43
  SPEAKER_01: You know, that's correcting our thinking this morning.
• 57:45
  SPEAKER_01: Some of you already feeling the beauty and the weight and the glory of it, and you run and run to Jesus now.
• 57:51
  SPEAKER_01: I can sense it right now that some of you suddenly are loving Jesus even more because you see that you need Jesus.
• 57:57
  SPEAKER_01: You see you want to be at his feet right now.
• 58:00
  SPEAKER_01: You want to be washing his feet with your own tears.
• 58:02
  SPEAKER_01: You get it.
• 58:03
  SPEAKER_01: You finally get the gospel.
• 58:04
  SPEAKER_01: Perhaps for the first time this morning, I don't know.
• 58:07
  SPEAKER_01: But at least you love Jesus more than you did last week.
• 58:11
  SPEAKER_01: You value Jesus.
• 58:15
  SPEAKER_01: You didn't think of him quite rightly, but now it's starting to come clearer in your minds.
• 58:20
  SPEAKER_01: And you just want to spend the next week praising Jesus, loving Jesus, thanking Jesus, and worshiping Jesus at his feet.
• 58:32
  SPEAKER_01: Admonishment aims at this regenerating life, life, real life.
• 58:38
  SPEAKER_01: We want it for our children.
• 58:40
  SPEAKER_01: And of course, repentance unto life.
• 58:44
  SPEAKER_01: Repentance unto life.
• 58:46
  SPEAKER_01: That's the whole idea.
• 58:47
  SPEAKER_01: And that's why it's so unpopular today.
• 58:51
  SPEAKER_01: Reproof.
• 58:52
  SPEAKER_01: Who wants it?
• 58:54
  SPEAKER_01: Repentance.
• 58:57
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 58:59
  SPEAKER_01: But brothers and sisters, this is the message Jesus said in Luke 24.
• 59:03
  SPEAKER_01: We've got to preach.
• 59:05
  SPEAKER_01: We've got to preach repentance and remission of sins.
• 59:08
  SPEAKER_01: If it doesn't constitute about half of the church preaching and teaching, you're going to the wrong church.
• 59:14
  SPEAKER_01: And perhaps we need to grow up into that church that we need to be as well.
• 59:19
  SPEAKER_01: But we've got to be preaching repentance unto life.
• 59:22
  SPEAKER_01: It's just a huge part of the church, of the ministry of the apostles, of Jesus, of John the Baptist, of the prophets who went before them.
• 59:30
  SPEAKER_01: This is it.
• 59:31
  SPEAKER_01: This is what needs to be taught.
• 59:34
  SPEAKER_01: We need the repentance unto life, where the child realizes, and we all realize, I've been wrong.
• 59:39
  SPEAKER_01: I've been so wrong.
• 59:41
  SPEAKER_01: My life is in shambles.
• 59:42
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sitting here in the pig pen.
• 59:45
  SPEAKER_01: I've got a wrong perspective of my own sin and wrong perspective of the love of the Father.
• 59:49
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's changed his perceptions of himself, of the Father, and he runs to the Father for his forgiveness.
• 59:56
  SPEAKER_01: I could give you one example of Jesus' admonitions.
• 59:59
  SPEAKER_01: He just brings this so beautifully together into his loving extensions of his own mercies.
• 1:00:07
  SPEAKER_01: But again, admonition upon mercy upon admonition upon mercy.
• 1:00:11
  SPEAKER_01: Matthew 23, 37, O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the one who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her.
• 1:00:18
  SPEAKER_01: That's intense.
• 1:00:19
  SPEAKER_01: That's admonition.
• 1:00:20
  SPEAKER_01: That's convicting.
• 1:00:21
  SPEAKER_01: That's hard.
• 1:00:26
  SPEAKER_01: And then he says, How often I wanted to gather your children together as a hen gathers her chick under his wings, her wings, but you were not willing.
• 1:00:34
  SPEAKER_01: There's the graciousness of Christ there.
• 1:00:36
  SPEAKER_01: See, your house is left desolate.
• 1:00:38
  SPEAKER_01: That's more warning, rebuke.
• 1:00:41
  SPEAKER_01: For I say to you, you shall see me no more till you say, Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.
• 1:00:46
  SPEAKER_01: There's grace, there's admonition, there's rebuke.
• 1:00:49
  SPEAKER_01: It's all mixed in together.
• 1:00:51
  SPEAKER_01: That's how Jesus does it.
• 1:00:53
  SPEAKER_01: That's how we do it in the home.
• 1:00:55
  SPEAKER_01: Raise your children in the admonition of the Lord Jesus Christ.
• 1:01:00
  SPEAKER_01: In the heart of the corrector, I know I'm clear out of time.
• 1:01:03
  SPEAKER_01: It's so hard message like this because I feel like I've got to be sure I cover so many bases.
• 1:01:09
  SPEAKER_01: Such that nobody walks out of here, you know, like it's something imbalance.
• 1:01:12
  SPEAKER_01: I want to be sure.
• 1:01:13
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, the heart of the corrector, the heart of the parent, a couple of quick things.
• 1:01:17
  SPEAKER_01: Hope.
• 1:01:18
  SPEAKER_01: You've got to have hope.
• 1:01:19
  SPEAKER_01: Listen to Proverbs 19:18.
• 1:01:20
  SPEAKER_01: One of those interesting verses.
• 1:01:21
  SPEAKER_01: I think I have it in your notes.
• 1:01:23
  SPEAKER_01: Proverbs 19:18.
• 1:01:24
  SPEAKER_01: Discipline your son, for there is hope.
• 1:01:27
  SPEAKER_01: Do not set your heart on putting him to death.
• 1:01:31
  SPEAKER_01: That's the ESV version, I think, the very best.
• 1:01:33
  SPEAKER_01: But the idea is hopefulness, guys.
• 1:01:36
  SPEAKER_01: Hopefulness.
• 1:01:37
  SPEAKER_01: Hopefully, always hopeful.
• 1:01:39
  SPEAKER_01: Love hopes all things.
• 1:01:40
  SPEAKER_01: No matter how bad it is.
• 1:01:42
  SPEAKER_01: I even picture the parents of the men, a man from the Gatarenes.
• 1:01:46
  SPEAKER_01: You know, think about how horrible it was.
• 1:01:48
  SPEAKER_01: This man who was filled with a legion of demons.
• 1:01:50
  SPEAKER_01: They tried to chain him down, they tried psychotrophic drugs, they tried everything.
• 1:01:54
  SPEAKER_01: They finally sent him off to the caves, and they just stood there on the cliffs of the Gatarenes, waiting for a little ship to come up over the horizon.
• 1:02:01
  SPEAKER_01: So the very Son of God would come up and climb up on that cliff and cast out the legion of demons and bless that man, bless his family forever and ever.
• 1:02:11
  SPEAKER_01: Amazing.
• 1:02:12
  SPEAKER_01: We have to have the hope.
• 1:02:14
  SPEAKER_01: We have to have the hope, brothers and sisters.
• 1:02:16
  SPEAKER_01: Always the hope that Jesus is going to come.
• 1:02:19
  SPEAKER_01: Jesus is going to help us.
• 1:02:21
  SPEAKER_01: We need to be hopeful farmers, not discouraged farmers.
• 1:02:25
  SPEAKER_01: Hopeful farmers planting seeds that will yield good fruit in the years to come.
• 1:02:30
  SPEAKER_01: Discouraged parents, they give up on hope.
• 1:02:32
  SPEAKER_01: They stop praying too quickly.
• 1:02:35
  SPEAKER_01: Most of our children are long-term projects, just like we are the long-term projects.
• 1:02:40
  SPEAKER_01: Hope, hope, hope.
• 1:02:42
  SPEAKER_01: Very important.
• 1:02:43
  SPEAKER_01: Secondly, the fear of God and the jealousy for the glory of God.
• 1:02:47
  SPEAKER_01: God admonished Eli.
• 1:02:51
  SPEAKER_01: He would not restrain his sons.
• 1:02:53
  SPEAKER_01: Why do you kick at my sacrifice, my offering which I commanded in my dwelling place?
• 1:02:56
  SPEAKER_01: And honor your sons more than me.
• 1:02:59
  SPEAKER_01: Those who honor me I will honor, and those that despise me shall be lightly esteemed.
• 1:03:03
  SPEAKER_01: Behold, the days are coming.
• 1:03:07
  SPEAKER_01: Eli got that judgment upon him because he wouldn't stand when the fear of God, the jealousy for the glory of God in his home.
• 1:03:19
  SPEAKER_01: He wanted to do this with love for God, love for the truth, love for the child as well.
• 1:03:25
  SPEAKER_01: Seeing fathers and mothers sometimes become very offended when they're not respected.
• 1:03:29
  SPEAKER_01: So they rise up in anger and take personal offense.
• 1:03:36
  SPEAKER_01: Two things to say.
• 1:03:36
  SPEAKER_01: Number one, you're not God of the home.
• 1:03:40
  SPEAKER_01: You're not offended.
• 1:03:42
  SPEAKER_01: God is offended.
• 1:03:44
  SPEAKER_01: You're an ambassador for God in the home.
• 1:03:48
  SPEAKER_01: Your law wasn't broken.
• 1:03:50
  SPEAKER_01: God's law was broken.
• 1:03:51
  SPEAKER_01: So don't take the big offense yourself.
• 1:03:55
  SPEAKER_01: And you should have concern and love for your children.
• 1:03:58
  SPEAKER_01: That they are in danger of the judgment of God.
• 1:04:03
  SPEAKER_01: So you should have love for your children and a love for God at the same time.
• 1:04:07
  SPEAKER_01: The motive for discipline has got to be a true heart desire for the best of the child.
• 1:04:14
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes fathers and mothers get irritated after, you know, so many corrections in a day.
• 1:04:21
  SPEAKER_01: But God is testing your love for Him.
• 1:04:24
  SPEAKER_01: These are trials that God has put in your life.
• 1:04:27
  SPEAKER_01: He's asking the question will you steadfastly correct your children the 187th time and hold off from hitting the rock?
• 1:04:35
  SPEAKER_01: If He's telling you to speak to the rock, don't hit the rock.
• 1:04:38
  SPEAKER_01: I realize it's 165 times this day, but you're still to calmly and coolly with love for God and love your child, continue on today in the correction of your child.
• 1:04:52
  SPEAKER_01: Do not provoke your children to wrath.
• 1:04:54
  SPEAKER_01: Don't respond in anger.
• 1:04:56
  SPEAKER_01: There are points at which you need to be firm and control the situation, but check your motives and your emotions.
• 1:05:02
  SPEAKER_01: Ask yourself, am I still training my children and teaching them?
• 1:05:05
  SPEAKER_01: Or is my anger just applying the brute force to manipulate the situation, the child's heart, attitude, and actions?
• 1:05:10
  SPEAKER_01: You need to be asking these kind of questions in the midst of the correction.
• 1:05:15
  SPEAKER_01: Do not expect of your child more than you would expect of yourself.
• 1:05:18
  SPEAKER_01: Again, try to understand how old that child is and how you should treat them at that age and such.
• 1:05:24
  SPEAKER_01: Be sure that your affirmation-correction ratio, I would say higher than 50-50 in the home.
• 1:05:29
  SPEAKER_01: If you're constantly correcting no affirmation, that's a problem.
• 1:05:32
  SPEAKER_01: If there's no affection in the home, if you're not wrapping your arms around that child, holding them in your lap on a regular basis, if you're not surrounding them with your love, and yet it's correction after correction after correction, that's not going to be healthy either.
• 1:05:45
  SPEAKER_01: I believe that there needs to be a balance in the home between correction and affirmation, as well as the indicative and imperative, as well as the constant indicative, the teaching concerning the work of Jesus, what he has done.
• 1:05:57
  SPEAKER_01: Keep your indicative imperative ratios at 80-20.
• 1:06:00
  SPEAKER_01: That I think would be pretty accurate, pretty good if you could pull that off as well.
• 1:06:05
  SPEAKER_01: But here, let me end with these couple of strong or practical applications.
• 1:06:10
  SPEAKER_01: The first is be strong and very courageous to keep the commandments of God.
• 1:06:13
  SPEAKER_01: Even though correction is emotionally wearing upon you, remember it is a test of your love for God, but it's also a test of your faith.
• 1:06:20
  SPEAKER_01: Our children will test our faith.
• 1:06:22
  SPEAKER_01: They will test our commitment to God.
• 1:06:24
  SPEAKER_01: They test our love.
• 1:06:26
  SPEAKER_01: When children stubbornly insist on their own way, will they we stubbornly insist on God's ways in the home?
• 1:06:33
  SPEAKER_01: We're not stubbornly and angrily insisting on our own way.
• 1:06:36
  SPEAKER_01: We're just stubbornly loving God and stubbornly standing up for God and God's law, even in the face of children who are stubbornly standing up for their rebellion.
• 1:06:44
  SPEAKER_01: Are you with me?
• 1:06:45
  SPEAKER_01: Who's gonna be more stubborn here?
• 1:06:47
  SPEAKER_01: Will there be a higher level of stubbornness on your child's commitment to themselves and to worship themselves?
• 1:06:52
  SPEAKER_01: Or will there be a higher commitment of you to love God, worship God, serve God, acknowledge God to be the leader and the one who is calling these shots in your home?
• 1:07:02
  SPEAKER_01: So who's going to be more stubborn?
• 1:07:04
  SPEAKER_01: You stubborn in your love for God, or they stubborn in their love for themselves?
• 1:07:08
  SPEAKER_01: Who's gonna be more stubborn?
• 1:07:09
  SPEAKER_01: It's a bit of a stubborn contest, isn't it?
• 1:07:12
  SPEAKER_01: But again, we're not, it's not just me against you.
• 1:07:14
  SPEAKER_01: No, it's me standing up for God in the home and speaking truth no matter what happens.
• 1:07:20
  SPEAKER_01: And then, secondly, be clear on your teaching.
• 1:07:22
  SPEAKER_01: Be clear on God's law.
• 1:07:23
  SPEAKER_01: Be thoughtful about your rules.
• 1:07:26
  SPEAKER_01: Don't be arbitrary, be clear on instructions.
• 1:07:29
  SPEAKER_01: Have your children repeat back to you some of the things that they've said.
• 1:07:32
  SPEAKER_01: Also, uh be careful how many rules you put on in the home.
• 1:07:36
  SPEAKER_01: When you command your child to do this, that, and the other thing, maybe too many rules, you're not paying attention to them yourself, and you're kind of losing track of everything you said.
• 1:07:44
  SPEAKER_01: That's not going to be helpful as well.
• 1:07:45
  SPEAKER_01: So be very clear about your rules and distinguish between breaking God's laws and inconveniencing you.
• 1:07:53
  SPEAKER_01: Make sure they understand what you are saying by repeating after you the things that are important.
• 1:07:58
  SPEAKER_01: Also, uh, teach your children diligently.
• 1:08:00
  SPEAKER_01: Remember, it's a long-term project.
• 1:08:02
  SPEAKER_01: Children do not shoot up like bamboo.
• 1:08:05
  SPEAKER_01: It's extremely difficult to know when a child is converted when raised in a Christian household.
• 1:08:09
  SPEAKER_01: There's ups and downs there, good weeks, bad weeks, good months, bad months, good years, bad years, etc.
• 1:08:14
  SPEAKER_01: It's really hard to tell.
• 1:08:15
  SPEAKER_01: By the way, it's hard to tell with adults, too, if you've ever worked as an elder in a church for more than three years.
• 1:08:21
  SPEAKER_01: Uh so the one-time conversion experience was developed out of the revivalist movements of the early 19th century.
• 1:08:28
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, my encouragement to all of us just be good farmers, plant the seeds, water the seeds, weed, carefully weed, baptize, teach, and correct, and after 18 years or 22 years, you can look up and see what God did.
• 1:08:43
  SPEAKER_01: And then finally, here's one more point.
• 1:08:46
  SPEAKER_01: Provide some recourse when rebellion is fairly deep-seated.
• 1:08:49
  SPEAKER_01: The entire burden should not fall upon mom.
• 1:08:52
  SPEAKER_01: Mom may be correcting the child throughout the day, but they must have recourse to dad even throughout the day.
• 1:08:58
  SPEAKER_01: Parents also should have recourse to pastors.
• 1:09:00
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so thankful.
• 1:09:01
  SPEAKER_01: There have been parents in this church who has called me in the middle of the work day saying, I'm having trouble right now with this child.
• 1:09:08
  SPEAKER_01: Would you pray?
• 1:09:09
  SPEAKER_01: I have the speakerphone on.
• 1:09:10
  SPEAKER_01: I want you to pray with the child right now.
• 1:09:12
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 1:09:13
  SPEAKER_01: Praise God.
• 1:09:14
  SPEAKER_01: Love it when that happens.
• 1:09:15
  SPEAKER_01: I just encourage all the parents in this church to do that.
• 1:09:18
  SPEAKER_01: Make use of the elders in the church.
• 1:09:21
  SPEAKER_01: And if you have long term issues and relationship issues, uh meet with the pastors offline.
• 1:09:27
  SPEAKER_01: We, our family, has done that a number of times.
• 1:09:29
  SPEAKER_01: Always fruitful, always fruitful.
• 1:09:31
  SPEAKER_01: Please, please, I plead with you, make good recourse.
• 1:09:35
  SPEAKER_01: Of the experienced moms and dads, the deacons, the elders in this church.
• 1:09:39
  SPEAKER_01: And then I need to add one more thing, and that is pray.
• 1:09:42
  SPEAKER_01: Fast and pray.
• 1:09:44
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes this kind does not go out without much prayer and fasting.
• 1:09:48
  SPEAKER_01: So definitely a major exercise of faith in the life of a parent is to lift up the holy hands and pray without wrath and without doubting to God who does give us amazing results.
• 1:10:02
  SPEAKER_01: But pray in faith.
• 1:10:03
  SPEAKER_01: And if you pray in faith, you'll find God moving mountains, including those in the lives of your children.
• 1:10:09
  SPEAKER_01: Praise be to God.
• 1:10:10
  SPEAKER_01: Amen and amen.
• 1:10:11
  SPEAKER_01: Let's pray.
• 1:10:12
  SPEAKER_01: Our Father God, we thank you for this word this morning.
• 1:10:15
  SPEAKER_01: It comes from your truth.
• 1:10:16
  SPEAKER_01: And Father, above all, we pray that our minds, our children's minds, become alive with the truth of God, the truth of the gospel.
• 1:10:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, we are great sinners, but we have a greater Savior.
• 1:10:27
  SPEAKER_01: And uh and that we would run to the Savior even faster than we ever have before, knowing that we need him.
• 1:10:34
  SPEAKER_01: We need Jesus.
• 1:10:36
  SPEAKER_01: We need Jesus a lot.
• 1:10:38
  SPEAKER_01: And we need him today and every day to save us, to help us.
• 1:10:42
  SPEAKER_01: Father, I pray for these moms and dads that they'd be mighty men and women of faith and love and wisdom.
• 1:10:50
  SPEAKER_01: God, we pray you do an amazing work in these families.
• 1:10:53
  SPEAKER_01: That in the years to come, every family here will look back and see what God did, what God did through us, in us, with us, to us, and in our lives of our children too.
• 1:11:05
  SPEAKER_01: In Jesus' name.
• 1:11:06
  SPEAKER_01: Amen.
• 1:11:10
  SPEAKER_01: This has been a production of the Generations Media Network.
• 1:11:13
  SPEAKER_01: For more information, go to generations.org/slash media.