Latest / How Hard Can It Be? with Diana Maria Riva / Maria Hinojosa on the Importance of Independence in a Marriage, Asking Your Kids for Forgiveness, and Being a ‘Wisdom Elder'

Transcript

Maria Hinojosa on the Importance of Independence in a Marriage, Asking Your Kids for Forgiveness, and Being a ‘Wisdom Elder' · How Hard Can It Be? with Diana Maria Riva

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Speaker 1: We all have our heroes, and my next guest is
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Speaker 1: certainly one of mine. Imagine asking a world-renowned Pulitzer Prize-winning
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Speaker 1: journalist to come in and be interviewed by me, an actor. Mm-hmm, okay. Well,
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Speaker 1: she did, and it was amazing. And we talk about
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Speaker 1: everything from controlling your ego to, who called me an elder,
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Speaker 1: to asking your children for forgiveness. Because really, how hard
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Speaker 1: can it be? ¶ ¶ Welcome to this episode of
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Speaker 1: How Hard Can It Be? I'm your host, Diana Maria Riva,
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Speaker 1: and we are sitting here talking to women and discussing
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Speaker 1: the fantastic bullshit of midlife. And it is fantastic. It's
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Speaker 1: not an oxymoron. It's fantastic and it's bullshit at the
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Speaker 1: same time. I am here. My guest today is one
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Speaker 1: of the most respected journalists of all time. I believe it.
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Speaker 1: You believe it. You know it. But she's also won
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Speaker 1: a slew of awards. She's the anchor and executive producer
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Speaker 1: of Latino USA. founder and CEO of Future Media Group,
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Speaker 1: Pulitzer Prize winner, the recent George Polk Career Award winner,
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Speaker 1: and for whatever reason, finds 6.30 a.m. a prime time
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Speaker 1: to box. This is the incomparable Maria Hinojosa. That's right. Listen,
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Speaker 1: I would not all 5-1 of this. I'm not sure.
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Speaker 2: 5-1, thank you. Thank you. Oh, my God.
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Speaker 1: Thank you.
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Speaker 2: Five feet.
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Speaker 1: Five feet. But you are 10 feet tall and seemingly bulletproof.
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Speaker 2: Thank you.
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Speaker 1: That is what you exude. And then your heart. I've
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Speaker 1: had the pleasure of meeting this woman and being with
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Speaker 1: her in Aspen at Reisado Festival and just following her work.
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Speaker 1: And when I got to meet you in person for
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Speaker 1: the first time, I'm like. What a dynamic duo of
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Speaker 1: strength and empathy and compassion and resilience all at the
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Speaker 1: same time.
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Speaker 2: Because that's the way it's got to be. Yeah. I
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Speaker 2: love the fact that you're bulletproof and I'm like, my
2:01
Speaker 2: acupuncturist and my therapist have told me I need to
2:04
Speaker 2: cry more.
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Speaker 1: I read that, that you said if you cry more,
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Speaker 1: you may not stop.
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Speaker 2: So I'm very public about being strong.
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Speaker 3: Yeah.
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Speaker 2: Like I want people to see me physically strong.
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Speaker 3: Yeah.
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Speaker 2: But I also am very clear that, no, I am
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Speaker 2: getting the bullets, right? It's really hurting and my heart hurts.
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Speaker 2: And so I'm very public about the sadness that I carry, too,
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Speaker 2: because it's like both things. That's what you realize when
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Speaker 2: you get older. It's like, oh, it's always like this
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Speaker 2: and that. It's always the yin and yang.
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Speaker 1: But I love that you're honest about that and that
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Speaker 1: you're able to just admit, I have both those things
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Speaker 1: going on. And I said to my daughter who was
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Speaker 1: in town visiting the other day from college, I said...
2:44
Speaker 1: I think I have some depression going on right now.
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Speaker 1: I don't really know what it looks like because I
2:50
Speaker 1: don't have a lot of clinical experience with it. I
2:53
Speaker 1: think it's hormonal. I don't have facts. When I get
2:55
Speaker 1: the clarity on it, then I'll speak more about it.
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Speaker 1: But I can just tell you there's something there that's
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Speaker 1: going on that's making me cry at the drop.
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Speaker 2: Of a pen.
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Speaker 1: This little quote that I read I really loved because
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Speaker 1: it's true that the Gen X generation, the women, are
3:10
Speaker 1: the regents of resourcefulness. And I do agree with that.
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Speaker 1: I think we're resourceful with our emotions as well, whether
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Speaker 1: or not we really should be. So let me ask you,
3:19
Speaker 1: growing up, was that mirrored in your house, recognizing that
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Speaker 1: you're feeling anxiety? We muscled through. We were, you know,
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Speaker 1: we bulldozed through. Not the best tool for me in
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Speaker 1: this part of my life, but what about you?
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Speaker 2: What I saw in my house was that my mom
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Speaker 2: was raised in a very traditional manner as a young
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Speaker 2: Mexican woman. Ends up coming to Chicago because we're Midwest girls,
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Speaker 2: you and me. And my dad is doing his scientific
3:55
Speaker 2: work as a medical doctor at the University of Chicago.
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Speaker 2: And meanwhile, my mom is like, huh, feminism. Ooh, I
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Speaker 2: like this. So mom mirrored for me being very powerful.
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Speaker 2: But also emotions were a Mexican family. So emotions were
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Speaker 2: kind of right there.
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Speaker 1: Yeah.
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Speaker 2: Front and center.
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Speaker 1: Yeah.
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Speaker 2: No mi papa. Not my dad. My dad was.
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Speaker 1: Even.
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Speaker 2: Yeah. He was... I don't know about even. He would
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Speaker 2: get angry sometimes. And then he was like that Mexican dad.
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Speaker 2: Angry in the sense of... Se acabó la conversación. That's
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Speaker 2: about the extent of my dad's anger. But... But mom
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Speaker 2: was really blossoming in every which way. And so I
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Speaker 2: feel like I take after my mom a lot in
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Speaker 2: that sense.
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Speaker 1: That's pretty impressive to hear that she was one of,
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Speaker 1: in a minority of women during that time that would
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Speaker 1: want to take and put their feet into those shoes.
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Speaker 2: And she got married at 17.
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Speaker 1: Yeah.
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Speaker 3: Wow.
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Speaker 2: Okay.
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Speaker 1: Yeah.
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Speaker 2: And she was happy to be married at 17. She
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Speaker 2: was ready to be married at 17, if you know
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Speaker 2: what I mean.
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Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah.
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Speaker 2: But mom just turned 90.
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Speaker 1: I saw pictures ever. And thriving, beautiful, glowing.
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Speaker 3: Yeah.
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Speaker 2: So I think mom taught me a lot about also
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Speaker 2: finding happiness and just being happy and the importance of that. So, yeah,
5:22
Speaker 2: good stock.
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Speaker 1: And where would you say, when did you and your
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Speaker 1: husband meet? You've been married for 35 years? Good.
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Speaker 2: 35 years this year. Mm-hmm. We met at the Village
5:34
Speaker 2: Gate Jazz Club on Monday nights. They used to have
5:37
Speaker 2: something called Salsa Meets Jazz. And so Tito Puente was
5:42
Speaker 2: playing with Dizzy Gillespie.
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Speaker 1: Okay, this is an iconic date here.
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Speaker 2: An iconic date.
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Speaker 1: Wow.
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Speaker 2: And that was when we first met. And it's an interesting,
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Speaker 2: complicated story. You know, my husband is Dominican. He's an artist.
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Speaker 2: He's still gorgeous, but he was really, really, really hot
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Speaker 2: back then. And all of my.
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Speaker 1: He was fine.
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Speaker 2: He was super fine. And my girlfriends were like, Dominicano, no.
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Speaker 1: Artista, no.
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Speaker 2: And here we are, married for 35 years.
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Speaker 1: You know what? First of all, and on top of
6:13
Speaker 1: all that, Did you say you're five feet? He's like 6'10.
6:16
Speaker 1: He's like super tall.
6:18
Speaker 2: I love the fact that he's like 6'2. But you
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Speaker 2: feel 6'10.
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Speaker 1: I mean, next to you, he looks 6'10. I'm just saying.
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Speaker 1: And it's adorable. But you can see in the small
6:27
Speaker 1: time that we were hanging out in Aspen together, you
6:30
Speaker 1: can just see that he has had the things that
6:34
Speaker 1: make him happy. You have had the things that make
6:36
Speaker 1: you happy. There's a gift there in a marriage like that.
6:40
Speaker 1: That you start off with people telling you or society
6:43
Speaker 1: telling you no, no, for one reason or the other.
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Speaker 1: And then you have this long marriage and you have
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Speaker 1: kept your individuality at the same time.
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Speaker 2: And I think that that's actually key. Now, a lot
6:54
Speaker 2: of people can't do this. And it's not just women
6:58
Speaker 2: who can't do it. Like men and women have a
7:01
Speaker 2: hard time saying, dude, you're totally independent. I'm totally independent. Like,
7:07
Speaker 2: it's good. I mean, sometimes with my husband, it's like
7:11
Speaker 2: to the extreme because, you know, he didn't grow up here.
7:13
Speaker 2: He grew up in La República Dominicana, right?
7:17
Speaker 1: What city?
7:17
Speaker 2: In Santo Domingo.
7:19
Speaker 1: In Santo Domingo.
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Speaker 2: He was born in Castillo. But so he doesn't really
7:22
Speaker 2: get U.S. geography. He didn't have to study all of
7:25
Speaker 2: the states and the geography and where. So, like, where
7:29
Speaker 2: are you going? I don't have to tell him because
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Speaker 2: he's like, if it's California, Colorado, it's like por ahí.
7:34
Speaker 1: Yeah.
7:35
Speaker 2: You know, when I leave the country, then he knows
7:38
Speaker 2: what other countries I'm going to. But that's the level
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Speaker 2: of independence. Like, he's like, I don't need to know
7:45
Speaker 2: every place that she's going because I know she's coming back.
7:48
Speaker 2: I know she's working. And I can let German work
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Speaker 2: and focus on his work and not have to interact
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Speaker 2: with him. Like, pay attention to me. Pay attention to me.
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Speaker 2: That takes a lot of maturity and not being freaked
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Speaker 2: out by each other's independence.
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Speaker 1: That's A key point, because I think when you get
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Speaker 1: to a point in your life where I think self-doubt
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Speaker 1: or questioning self tends to manifest in a marriage, it
8:15
Speaker 1: can come out if you're not handling it. And you
8:17
Speaker 1: can really end up projecting it on the other person,
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Speaker 1: on your partner.
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Speaker 2: So much. Yeah. So my husband, because of the way
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Speaker 2: in which he grew up in the Dominican Republic, surviving
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Speaker 2: in 1965, the U.S. Marines invading, having to live through
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Speaker 2: a war, as a little kid, nine years old. So
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Speaker 2: he's very rooted, very centered. Ese hombre dominicano bien fuerte,
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Speaker 2: that's my husband. And I needed that rootedness because my
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Speaker 2: thing as a journalist is I'm out. So he's rooted
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Speaker 2: in his artistic vision. I mean, living in the clouds, pero,
9:02
Speaker 2: as he says, always with his feet. firmly planted on
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Speaker 2: the ground. I'm the one that's leaving, talking to this person,
9:09
Speaker 2: going after this story, frankly visiting places that are considered
9:13
Speaker 2: the most dangerous in the world.
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Speaker 1: I've read some of the places that you've been and
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Speaker 1: the things. I'm sorry to cut you off. No, no.
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Speaker 1: And what you focus on. You have two different tempos.
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Speaker 1: Your husband is like on the outside of the ring,
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Speaker 1: you know, that has, because it's a bigger lap, it
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Speaker 1: goes slowly and steady. and you're in the middle, the
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Speaker 1: spinner in the middle. And you know what?
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Speaker 2: It works.
9:37
Speaker 1: He's going like this. I don't know if I'm coordinated
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Speaker 1: enough to do it.
9:40
Speaker 2: Oh, my God.
9:41
Speaker 1: And it works. It's in harmony. But keeping that balance,
9:46
Speaker 1: knowing that you two have those different tempos, that's a feat.
9:51
Speaker 1: You know what I read somewhere, or I heard, I
9:54
Speaker 1: can't remember at this point. What I loved about reading
9:58
Speaker 1: your career is that you made it, seemingly concerted effort
10:02
Speaker 1: to make sure that it represented the kind of woman
10:05
Speaker 1: you wanted to be. And you started with even simple
10:09
Speaker 1: things of, pronounce my name correctly, I'll show you how
10:12
Speaker 1: to say it. So you say Maria Hinojosa. I say
10:15
Speaker 1: Diana Maria Riva, only because I can't say Diana Maria Riva.
10:17
Speaker 1: It doesn't sound right to me. But I'll tell you
10:21
Speaker 1: that I remember doing, I was on the West Wing
10:24
Speaker 1: and Jimmy Smits.
10:25
Speaker 2: Okay. I love the way, humble brag, humble brag. I
10:29
Speaker 2: was on the West Wing and Jimmy Smits. Okay. Go ahead.
10:31
Speaker 1: Go ahead.
10:32
Speaker 2: We love it. We love it.
10:34
Speaker 1: So Jim, Jimmy and I. Thank you. I was a
10:39
Speaker 1: very proud moment. But this was in the last season,
10:42
Speaker 1: so I didn't know him yet. We were only in
10:44
Speaker 1: like episode four. I didn't know him too well because
10:45
Speaker 1: you know him. He's very stealth.
10:47
Speaker 2: Yes.
10:48
Speaker 1: Very quiet and shy. So whenever cameras would break, he would,
10:52
Speaker 1: and we're setting up the next shot, he's in the corner,
10:55
Speaker 1: seemingly steady his lines. I knew he knew his lines,
10:57
Speaker 1: but it was just because he's quiet and he's got
10:59
Speaker 1: his head buried. And the director would come over to
11:01
Speaker 1: me and say, Diana, I'm going to have you do
11:03
Speaker 1: this and Diana, and Diana this. And I was like, okay, okay.
11:07
Speaker 1: And by the way, I wasn't new in my career,
11:09
Speaker 1: but I rolled with it, you know, whatever. All of
11:11
Speaker 1: a sudden I see, I hear Jimmy saying, Ron. And
11:15
Speaker 1: he walks over and he's like. And the director goes, oh, fuck.
11:20
Speaker 1: And he walks over and he goes, Deanna, I'm sorry.
11:23
Speaker 1: It's Deanna. I'm like, oh, that's okay. And here's Jimmy
11:26
Speaker 1: in the corner.
11:27
Speaker 2: Oh, my God. I love this.
11:28
Speaker 1: And Ron walks away. The director walks away. And I
11:31
Speaker 1: hear Jimmy in the corner, not looking up yet, going,
11:35
Speaker 1: are you mad at me? And I was like, oh,
11:38
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Jimmy Schmitz. You're my knight in shining armor.
11:42
Speaker 1: And he taught me something in that moment. Don't be afraid.
11:45
Speaker 1: And I wasn't afraid, but just be more confident. And
11:48
Speaker 1: never again did I allow people to not have an opportunity.
11:53
Speaker 1: It's not like they were doing it to me on purpose.
11:54
Speaker 1: Not have an opportunity to hear and learn. It's Diana
11:58
Speaker 1: Maria Riva. You don't have to roll the last one.
12:00
Speaker 1: I'll give you that. But I love that you made
12:02
Speaker 1: a concerted effort. And it takes something as simple for
12:06
Speaker 1: a woman to just say, it's actually Maria.
12:11
Speaker 2: So I love that you're bringing this up because now,
12:15
Speaker 2: of course, I'm old enough now to be able to say, well,
12:17
Speaker 2: that's legacy. Because you have to understand, Diana, that I
12:22
Speaker 2: was the first Latina on NPR, right? Yes.
12:26
Speaker 1: By the way, 20 minutes ago, like 1985, I can't
12:30
Speaker 1: believe it took that long.
12:32
Speaker 2: Yeah.
12:32
Speaker 1: Okay.
12:33
Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
12:34
Speaker 1: Big conversation.
12:35
Speaker 2: So when I was about to go on the air,
12:38
Speaker 2: I was like, okay, so I have to say for NPR,
12:42
Speaker 2: it's Maria Hinojosa. Am I going to say for NPR,
12:46
Speaker 2: it's Maria Hinojosa? And I was like, I mean, I
12:50
Speaker 2: am that because in high school, that's how people knew me.
12:53
Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
12:54
Speaker 2: But that was exactly what happened. I was like, yeah,
12:57
Speaker 2: but I'm going to stake my claim. And I'm just
13:02
Speaker 2: going to do this and see what happens. I was
13:06
Speaker 2: scared when I did it the first time. Nadie dijo nada.
13:10
Speaker 2: And I was like, I'm going to do it again.
13:12
Speaker 2: And then it was like, I'm Maria Hinojosa. The interesting
13:16
Speaker 2: thing is the hate mail to NPR was ridiculous. Why
13:22
Speaker 2: does she say her name like that? Why doesn't she
13:24
Speaker 2: Americanize it? She needs to, she's in the United States, therefore,
13:28
Speaker 2: and I'm like, I'm in New York, therefore it's in Spanish.
13:32
Speaker 2: But also the flip side to that, the first time
13:36
Speaker 2: this happened, we were in a cab. I was in
13:38
Speaker 2: a cab here in New York City and he heard
13:41
Speaker 2: my voice and he said, wait a second, are you
13:44
Speaker 2: that person on NPR? And I was like, yeah. And
13:47
Speaker 2: he almost crashed the car. Te lo juro. He almost
13:51
Speaker 2: crashed the car because he was like, I've never heard
13:54
Speaker 2: anyone on the air anywhere speaking perfect English and then
13:58
Speaker 2: saying their name in perfect Spanish. And I was like, okay,
14:02
Speaker 2: I guess that's.
14:04
Speaker 1: That small nugget of affirmation spoke volumes. And yet this
14:09
Speaker 1: is what I want women to hear because you can
14:12
Speaker 1: be Latina or not. You can be Greek or not.
14:14
Speaker 1: You can just have a unique name. It can start
14:16
Speaker 1: with something as simple as your name. in the conference
14:20
Speaker 1: room or wherever you are in the classroom and just
14:24
Speaker 1: allowing someone to understand how to recognize you.
14:28
Speaker 3: Right.
14:29
Speaker 2: And so I think that there's ways that you can
14:31
Speaker 2: do this. Like there are, there are ways. And then
14:35
Speaker 2: there are ways in which we do it by creating community.
14:38
Speaker 1: Yes.
14:38
Speaker 2: Right. Oh, you're interested. Let me, yeah. If it's hard
14:42
Speaker 2: for you to say Maria, don't say Maria, say Maria.
14:44
Speaker 2: I don't care. Like I'm all right. Like, but the
14:47
Speaker 2: fact that there was, interaction there. And I'll never forget,
14:51
Speaker 2: I was in, this was early in my career. And actually,
14:53
Speaker 2: I was, I think, in Kansas City. And a guy
14:57
Speaker 2: came up to me after I had given a speech
14:58
Speaker 2: about this and identity and owning your name, et cetera.
15:01
Speaker 2: And he came up to me and was like, white,
15:04
Speaker 2: tall guy, super, quote unquote, American. And he was like,
15:08
Speaker 2: I had the same issue with my name. And I
15:09
Speaker 2: was like, orale, what? And he was like, I'm German.
15:13
Speaker 2: And I was like, And that's what I love about
15:16
Speaker 2: this work, right, is that if you're open enough to
15:21
Speaker 2: learn from anyone and at any point in our lives, right,
15:25
Speaker 2: like to me that's the joy of the work of
15:27
Speaker 2: being a journalist is like, wow, I'm going to learn
15:29
Speaker 2: something from this person. I don't see myself above you.
15:34
Speaker 2: I see me as equal to you. And also if
15:37
Speaker 2: you're speaking to me as a journalist, you're giving me
15:39
Speaker 2: a gift. Mm-hmm. So I think it's also really important
15:43
Speaker 2: to be open to learning from other human beings.
15:46
Speaker 3: Yes.
15:47
Speaker 2: But also, you know me, Diana, since the pandemic, I
15:49
Speaker 2: also learn a lot from birds.
15:51
Speaker 1: Yes.
15:52
Speaker 2: I'm a birder.
15:53
Speaker 1: I love that. Is that your self-care?
15:56
Speaker 2: It's one of my self-cares.
15:57
Speaker 1: Yeah.
15:57
Speaker 2: And by the way, I am not that birder who's
16:00
Speaker 2: like walking through the park and like, oh, spotted this. No,
16:05
Speaker 2: I'm the birder who hears the birds.
16:07
Speaker 1: Auditory.
16:07
Speaker 3: Auditory.
16:08
Speaker 2: Very auditory, and I feel like they're creating a vibe.
16:11
Speaker 2: And if I'm okay and the dog, Benito Juarez, is
16:14
Speaker 2: not pulling me away, then I'll stop and I'll find
16:17
Speaker 2: the blue jay or the hawk or et cetera. It's
16:21
Speaker 2: one of my forms of connecting deeply with nature, which
16:24
Speaker 2: is a form of self-care for me.
16:37
Speaker 1: There are multiple things, obviously, along the way to bring
16:40
Speaker 1: you to being this powerhouse that you are today and
16:43
Speaker 1: a concerted effort to make your mark in exemplifying the
16:50
Speaker 1: kind of woman that you want to be seen and recognized.
16:52
Speaker 1: What else did you do along the way? Because you've
16:54
Speaker 1: done some dangerous stuff. You've interviewed some dangerous people. You've
16:58
Speaker 1: been on journalistic quests that have explored a lot of
17:02
Speaker 1: life-threatening things. And you are here, thank God, still standing safe.
17:08
Speaker 1: And what else along the way did you either arm
17:12
Speaker 1: yourself with or just bring out of yourself to accomplish
17:17
Speaker 1: those things? The reason you got the George Polk Career
17:21
Speaker 1: Award is because of, yes, I loved seeing you. Yes,
17:25
Speaker 1: go ahead.
17:26
Speaker 2: See, here's the thing about the Polk Award. The Polk
17:30
Speaker 2: Award is, is only for journalists, primarily investigative journalists. So, yes,
17:38
Speaker 2: I have a Pulitzer. That's a beautiful thing, and we're
17:41
Speaker 2: so happy that we got that for the Suave podcast.
17:45
Speaker 2: But Pulitzers go to writers, to music, to choreographers, to
17:50
Speaker 2: et cetera. The Polk is only for journalists. And the
17:54
Speaker 2: Polk Career Award, when they called me, I was like, wait.
17:58
Speaker 2: I really needed this. I was like, oh, my God,
17:59
Speaker 2: I really needed this. I needed this phone call. And
18:03
Speaker 2: they were like, yes, we don't give the Polk Career
18:05
Speaker 2: Award every year, only when we deem that it's merited.
18:08
Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, my God. And then they're like, also,
18:11
Speaker 2: you're in with Walter Cronkite and Edward R.
18:14
Speaker 3: Murrow.
18:14
Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh, there you go.
18:16
Speaker 1: There's your Jimmy Smith moment.
18:19
Speaker 2: And then the most adorable part, Leanna, he was like, also,
18:23
Speaker 2: We usually don't give it to someone as young as you.
18:26
Speaker 1: That's right. Live and learn. I was like, okay.
18:31
Speaker 2: Yeah, so it's a beautiful thing. I love the awards,
18:34
Speaker 2: but my therapist, of course, because she's so brilliant, Argentinian therapist,
18:38
Speaker 2: of course. And she was like, pero acuérdate, right? No
18:42
Speaker 2: award is equivalent to the fact that your adult kids
18:46
Speaker 2: and their partners love hanging out with you and your husband.
18:49
Speaker 1: There you go.
18:50
Speaker 2: And I'm like, that's it. Like, that's really, like, the
18:55
Speaker 2: thing that warms your heart.
18:57
Speaker 1: Yes.
18:58
Speaker 2: But the awards do help.
18:59
Speaker 1: I mean, there is.
19:01
Speaker 3: When everybody, when anybody, ahora sí, Diana, te lo juro,
19:06
Speaker 3: when anybody tries to come at me, and they do,
19:09
Speaker 3: and I have been questioned throughout my entire career, Diana, always,
19:13
Speaker 3: you're too Mexican, you're too immigrant, you're too feminist, you're
19:17
Speaker 3: too etc.
19:19
Speaker 2: When they come at me now, I'm like, mm-hmm.
19:21
Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.
19:21
Speaker 2: Where's your Pulitzer? You got a Pulitzer?
19:25
Speaker 1: Oh, snap.
19:25
Speaker 2: I swear. Oh, I do. I'm like, where's, you know,
19:29
Speaker 2: where's your four Emmys? I hate to do that, pero
19:32
Speaker 2: en el momento.
19:33
Speaker 1: No, go ahead.
19:33
Speaker 2: So when you ask, what are you armed with? Well,
19:36
Speaker 2: now I am armed with all of those awards, right?
19:40
Speaker 2: That it's not that I'm untouchable, but I'm like, you
19:43
Speaker 2: don't have one on me.
19:44
Speaker 1: Right.
19:45
Speaker 2: I represent, even though you questioned my ethics and my
19:50
Speaker 2: integrity as an American journalist, I have now been proven
19:54
Speaker 2: to be the highest professional of American journalism. Yes. So
20:00
Speaker 2: I arm myself with that. But I get a lot
20:03
Speaker 2: of no's also. I mean, casi te digo, Cristina. I
20:06
Speaker 2: get a lot of no's, Diana. And I also tell
20:09
Speaker 2: my students that, like, not everything is a yes.
20:12
Speaker 1: No.
20:13
Speaker 2: Let's be clear.
20:13
Speaker 1: But that's okay. And you know what, though? I love
20:15
Speaker 1: that you say that you have that, you know, you
20:20
Speaker 1: have this with you because whether you say it out
20:22
Speaker 1: loud to that person or not, what you let it
20:24
Speaker 1: do at minimum is not shake your confidence and allow
20:29
Speaker 1: you to continue moving forward because other women do not
20:33
Speaker 1: have to have the same career as you to still
20:35
Speaker 1: feel like they are constantly being loved flicked at work
20:39
Speaker 1: or undermined or just torn down for one small thing
20:42
Speaker 1: or the other. And knowing your worth and what you
20:45
Speaker 1: bring to the table and standing in that resolve allows
20:51
Speaker 1: us to go, whether we say it out loud or not,
20:53
Speaker 1: sometimes it needs to be said. The two things I
20:56
Speaker 1: ask myself, does it need to be said? Yep. Does
20:58
Speaker 1: it need to be said by me? No, they'll read
21:00
Speaker 1: it about me and I'm going to keep going. And
21:02
Speaker 1: that has saved me arguments that I don't need to have.
21:05
Speaker 1: But maybe knowing what I know, what you know about oneself,
21:11
Speaker 1: allows you to push further and not let that voice
21:15
Speaker 1: stop you or get in your way.
21:17
Speaker 2: I have, anytime I interview a woman who's like you,
21:21
Speaker 2: a success, even though I know it's up and down,
21:24
Speaker 2: et cetera, but when I find a woman who has
21:27
Speaker 2: really powered through, I always ask them, so what do
21:30
Speaker 2: you do in the dark times, right? What do you
21:34
Speaker 2: do when the little voice, and I gather these stories
21:37
Speaker 2: to arm myself for when I'm having that.
21:39
Speaker 1: Yeah.
21:40
Speaker 2: I have to share. This is one of my favorites.
21:41
Speaker 2: You're going to love it. So, um, Rita Moreno. Okay.
21:46
Speaker 2: The great first EGOT, right? Um, who is now 90,
21:51
Speaker 2: pushing 90 something.
21:53
Speaker 1: Okay.
21:53
Speaker 2: It still looks amazing.
21:55
Speaker 1: Gorgeous. Gorgeous.
21:56
Speaker 2: Gorgeous. Um, And she was getting ready to receive the
21:59
Speaker 2: SAG Lifetime Achievement Award. She was going to sing a
22:01
Speaker 2: cappella when she received the award in front of an
22:05
Speaker 2: audience of millions.
22:06
Speaker 1: What was she going to sing?
22:06
Speaker 2: No me acuerdo. Oh, God. So I said, well, how
22:09
Speaker 2: are you feeling? She was like, I get nervous too.
22:11
Speaker 2: I have the little voice that says,¿ Estás loca? What
22:16
Speaker 2: do you think you're going to do? Get up there
22:17
Speaker 2: and sing in front of a live audience. A cappella.
22:20
Speaker 2: Why are you doing this? And she said, when I
22:22
Speaker 2: hear that little voice, she names the little voice. Rita, Ginebra, Pablito, whatever, Sanchez,
22:32
Speaker 2: te vas a tu cuarto. You are punished.
22:35
Speaker 1: Grounded.
22:35
Speaker 2: You are grounded. Go up to your room and you
22:38
Speaker 2: slam the door. You are not allowed to come out.
22:40
Speaker 1: I love that.
22:42
Speaker 2: I love it. And so I share that story. And
22:45
Speaker 2: that's why I love actors. I wanted to be one.
22:49
Speaker 1: Really?
22:49
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's why I came to New York. So I
22:53
Speaker 2: just love actors because... They have to push through so
22:58
Speaker 2: many no's. And then I love that about them. I
23:03
Speaker 2: love the fact that they keep on doing this, even
23:06
Speaker 2: though it's really freaking hard. And then like seeing you
23:10
Speaker 2: on TV all the times that I've watched you on TV,
23:12
Speaker 2: I'm just.
23:12
Speaker 1: Like, yes. Yes, she's great. That celebrating of each other
23:17
Speaker 1: is so vital. And I love that you shared that
23:19
Speaker 1: story because we do need to arm ourselves with things
23:22
Speaker 1: like that. Something as simple... I say when things are
23:25
Speaker 1: really going wrong or just not right, whatever your form
23:30
Speaker 1: of prayer is, God, Buddha, the universe, like I get
23:33
Speaker 1: belligerent with the universe. I look up to the sky, literally,
23:36
Speaker 1: not figuratively, and say, figure this shit out. I have
23:39
Speaker 1: done my part. I've got a clock. You know what
23:43
Speaker 1: I need to do. You know what I have. You
23:44
Speaker 1: know what I don't. And I will say this out
23:46
Speaker 1: loud in my living room, figure it out. I get
23:48
Speaker 1: really upset in this room. And then it's never the
23:50
Speaker 1: way I thought it was going to be figured out.
23:51
Speaker 1: I'm like, didn't think of that. Thank you. And then just,
23:54
Speaker 1: you know, move on. But I just, I have to
23:56
Speaker 1: say it out loud or I'll record myself saying it's
24:00
Speaker 1: not actually as bad as you think. It's da-da-da. We
24:03
Speaker 1: need those tools. We need to do it for each other.
24:05
Speaker 1: We need to give ourselves that. And doing all of this,
24:10
Speaker 1: establishing yourself as the woman that you want to be,
24:13
Speaker 1: How did that play into being a mother? Because you
24:15
Speaker 1: mentioned your children, how close you are. And that is
24:17
Speaker 1: such a gift to arrive at every chapter in life
24:21
Speaker 1: and say, and my children and I are close. They
24:23
Speaker 1: want to be with me. They want to spend time
24:24
Speaker 1: with me. And I've seen the pictures. They're beautiful. And
24:27
Speaker 1: they do want to be with you guys in Punta Cana.
24:30
Speaker 1: And they do want to be with you guys here
24:32
Speaker 1: in New York.
24:32
Speaker 2: So the reason why we get to hang out is
24:34
Speaker 2: because they've forgiven me.
24:36
Speaker 1: Oh, what a statement.
24:38
Speaker 2: Yeah, because so, you know, our careers are very intense, right?
24:43
Speaker 2: And so that's why I started with my husband is
24:45
Speaker 2: that one who's centered. He's in his studio. He's creating, right?
24:49
Speaker 2: And I'm like, so I was away. I mean, at
24:54
Speaker 2: that time, I was a correspondent for NPR. Then I
24:56
Speaker 2: was a correspondent for CNN. Then I was a correspondent
24:59
Speaker 2: for public television. And I did breaking news. So many
25:05
Speaker 2: times it was like, got to go.
25:07
Speaker 3: Yeah.
25:07
Speaker 2: I'll be gone or I'll be home late or et cetera.
25:10
Speaker 2: So getting to the point where as adults we were
25:14
Speaker 2: able to talk about, Ma, you know, I missed you.
25:18
Speaker 2: You know, when I was talking to you, you'd take
25:20
Speaker 2: a phone call from Suave who was in prison and
25:22
Speaker 2: you'd stop the conversation between me and you. And so
25:26
Speaker 2: it's like, ugh.
25:27
Speaker 1: Yeah.
25:28
Speaker 2: And a lot of that work actually happened. It happened
25:31
Speaker 2: throughout our lives.
25:32
Speaker 1: Yeah.
25:32
Speaker 2: But really intensely during the pandemic because we were living together.
25:35
Speaker 1: Wow.
25:36
Speaker 2: Again, all four of us were living together.
25:38
Speaker 1: And how old were they at the time?
25:39
Speaker 2: Bueno, a ver, like 22 and 24-ish.
25:42
Speaker 1: Okay, so they weren't young. Like, we had four full-grown adult... Four?
25:46
Speaker 2: Yeah. All the four of us.
25:48
Speaker 1: Four grown adults in the house.
25:49
Speaker 2: In the house. Oh, gosh. And then it just allowed
25:53
Speaker 2: us to have those conversations. And truly... Me having to say,
25:57
Speaker 2: I'm really sorry.
25:58
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was going to say, how did you ask
25:59
Speaker 1: them for forgiveness?
26:00
Speaker 2: I mean, just kind of being there and also realizing
26:02
Speaker 2: like it was during those two years of the lockdown
26:05
Speaker 2: of the pandemic was the most amount of time I
26:08
Speaker 2: had ever spent uninterrupted with my kids.
26:10
Speaker 1: Wow.
26:11
Speaker 2: That's good. Like naming it, like day in, day out,
26:15
Speaker 2: mom is not going anywhere. And that time allowed us
26:20
Speaker 2: to heal and to really, it's not like we didn't
26:22
Speaker 2: like each other at all. We always loved each other.
26:25
Speaker 2: But this was like, I see you, Mom. And I
26:28
Speaker 2: was able to say, and I see you. So, yeah,
26:32
Speaker 2: we really do. It is the greatest gift. German and I,
26:35
Speaker 2: my husband and I, always are looking at each other like,
26:37
Speaker 2: how lucky are we that they like us?
26:39
Speaker 1: Yeah. Right? And that you have nurtured, clearly, forgiveness in
26:45
Speaker 1: your home.
26:46
Speaker 2: I think it's really important. You have to talk about it.
26:49
Speaker 2: And I think this is not easy for women. I
26:52
Speaker 2: get it. I get it. But as women who have
26:57
Speaker 2: very big personalities and draw a lot of light and
27:00
Speaker 2: attention to ourselves, I do think that there is something
27:04
Speaker 2: to be learned about being the one that is asking
27:08
Speaker 2: for forgiveness or giving, right? We have to control our egos. Like,
27:15
Speaker 2: it's just a thing that we have to do. Now,
27:18
Speaker 2: as women in power, what I tell my students, right,
27:20
Speaker 2: is I need you walking around with a big ego.
27:24
Speaker 2: I need you believing in yourself, like walking in like this,
27:28
Speaker 2: but also being humble. So you have to have both things.
27:34
Speaker 1: Yes.
27:35
Speaker 2: And the family definitely keeps... I mean, my daughter would say, Mom,
27:39
Speaker 2: I don't want Maria Hinojosa at home. I want my mom...
27:44
Speaker 2: You can't make this up.
27:45
Speaker 1: I love it.
27:46
Speaker 2: I'm like, OK.
27:47
Speaker 1: She pronounced it on point and everything. She's like, you
27:50
Speaker 1: know what? Maria Hinojosa.
27:53
Speaker 2: Totally.
27:54
Speaker 1: I want mama.
27:54
Speaker 2: Yes.
27:55
Speaker 1: That's beautiful. And I mean, I was talking to another
27:59
Speaker 1: friend of mine about letting our children go and hearing
28:03
Speaker 1: what they have to say. And it's not always easy
28:06
Speaker 1: to swallow, you know, being a single parent for so
28:09
Speaker 1: long and raising them on my own. in a town
28:12
Speaker 1: where I had no family, my family was all in
28:14
Speaker 1: another state, I don't have any regrets of how I
28:19
Speaker 1: raised them. But I do think that I became so
28:22
Speaker 1: protective of them because I had a lot to protect
28:24
Speaker 1: them from that I got to a point of today
28:28
Speaker 1: of like, oh, I did nurture some codependency on my
28:32
Speaker 1: end and not being able to let them go a
28:35
Speaker 1: little bit. And that fear of letting them go then
28:38
Speaker 1: makes me very angsty. But I do think it came
28:44
Speaker 1: from just a place of for so long you're in
28:47
Speaker 1: this speed of defending and protecting that I have to
28:52
Speaker 1: get off the treadmill. And what's happening is somebody pulled
28:55
Speaker 1: the cord on the treadmill and I'm still running. And
28:57
Speaker 1: so I'm falling over my feet and skidding. And I
29:00
Speaker 1: think it just takes a sit down and that kind
29:04
Speaker 1: of honesty that you had with your children. And thank
29:06
Speaker 1: God they're communicators.
29:07
Speaker 2: So when you talk about kind of doing things and
29:11
Speaker 2: not realizing why you're doing them, protecting them.
29:14
Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.
29:14
Speaker 2: Just going to tell you, it just came up as
29:16
Speaker 2: you were speaking, so I figure I should say it.
29:18
Speaker 3: Please.
29:19
Speaker 2: So Jurema, who is 27, by the way, her full
29:22
Speaker 2: name is Maria Jurema Guadalupe de los Indios Perez Hinojosa.
29:26
Speaker 1: Nobody was left undone. Everybody was accounted for.
29:30
Speaker 2: Married a nice Irish guy.
29:32
Speaker 1: Love it.
29:33
Speaker 2: So in love. But when she was little, we spent
29:36
Speaker 2: a lot of time. We were very close, right? And
29:38
Speaker 2: we talk about everything. including her body, her first kiss,
29:43
Speaker 2: her all of this. I created this pathway of open
29:47
Speaker 2: communication on this issue. And her friends were like, why
29:50
Speaker 2: do you tell your mom everything? And she was like,
29:51
Speaker 2: because that's how we are. It was protecting her because
29:55
Speaker 2: at 16, I was raped. I didn't realize it until later,
29:59
Speaker 2: but I was like, oh, that's why you were doing it.
30:02
Speaker 2: Because you wanted to make sure that she was never
30:05
Speaker 2: in a situation where she could be taken advantage of.
30:07
Speaker 3: Yeah.
30:08
Speaker 2: And it never happened. Thank God.
30:10
Speaker 1: Yes.
30:10
Speaker 2: So.
30:11
Speaker 1: You know, you are an open book and you've shared
30:13
Speaker 1: a lot and you shared it from your own place
30:16
Speaker 1: of work and healing. And you share it in that
30:20
Speaker 1: that mindset of being of service to other women. and
30:23
Speaker 1: shining a light on it so it doesn't fester and
30:26
Speaker 1: allowing other women to know. How did you walk through
30:30
Speaker 1: that experience in your life and become the woman that
30:33
Speaker 1: you are? I don't want to say, oh, what did
30:35
Speaker 1: you take from it? But what did you get from
30:37
Speaker 1: it that you turned and made it part of your
30:41
Speaker 1: whole mama and Mariana Rosa?
30:44
Speaker 2: I mean, therapy is really essential, right? And continuing to
30:49
Speaker 2: do therapy. And going back to it, because nobody really
30:52
Speaker 2: wants to do therapy. You're like, are you serious? We
30:54
Speaker 2: got to do this work?
30:55
Speaker 1: Yeah.
30:57
Speaker 2: I think therapy is really essential to me. I have
31:00
Speaker 2: said that having a solid group of friends.
31:05
Speaker 3: Yes.
31:05
Speaker 2: And by the way, I'm not talking about 20. It's
31:08
Speaker 2: less than five. That was a lesson for my therapist.
31:11
Speaker 2: She was like, can't be more than five. And I
31:12
Speaker 2: was like, wow. Because these are friends who you, as
31:17
Speaker 2: she said, would basically be prepared to die for. Yeah.
31:21
Speaker 2: And I was like, hmm, that reduces.
31:24
Speaker 1: I'll say. So having people.
31:26
Speaker 2: Right, right, exactly. So that, I think, again, being able
31:33
Speaker 2: to control the ego so that the relationship with my
31:36
Speaker 2: husband was one that we could, because, you know, there
31:39
Speaker 2: are times in a marriage where you're just like, hmm.
31:42
Speaker 2: And it's like, no, but I do love you. You
31:44
Speaker 2: Dominican man, you. I do love you. I adore you.
31:49
Speaker 2: I adore his mind, his creativity. But that takes that
31:56
Speaker 2: capacity to be humble, right? So that means that you
31:59
Speaker 2: have to be working with a therapist who's able to
32:00
Speaker 2: talk to you about those things. But I think, you know,
32:05
Speaker 2: you're asking, like, how did you do this?
32:07
Speaker 1: Yeah.
32:08
Speaker 2: I think the other thing is that trying to Look,
32:12
Speaker 2: there was a time, there are always, as a journalist,
32:15
Speaker 2: you're always fighting battles, right? And then all of a
32:20
Speaker 2: sudden I lost my job, right? It was 2010 and
32:23
Speaker 2: 60 Minutes was not going to hire me. Their loss,
32:25
Speaker 2: but it was actually a gift. It was a gift
32:29
Speaker 2: because imaginate if I would be at 60 Minutes now?
32:32
Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. Well.
32:33
Speaker 2: At CBS News right now.
32:34
Speaker 1: You wouldn't be there.
32:35
Speaker 2: I wouldn't be there.
32:36
Speaker 1: Yeah.
32:36
Speaker 2: But instead, saying, okay, well... I'm going to have to
32:41
Speaker 2: do this on my own. I'm going to have to
32:44
Speaker 2: create my own company. So I think it's really important
32:48
Speaker 2: to understand that it's not all going to be a
32:51
Speaker 2: given to you, right? It's not going to be linear.
32:53
Speaker 2: And that's, again, why I love actors, because I feel
32:56
Speaker 2: like you're going from one place to another, one show
32:58
Speaker 2: to another, one character to another. And so we're all afraid. Yeah.
33:07
Speaker 2: Like all of us are afraid. Yeah. But we have
33:10
Speaker 2: to do this thing.
33:12
Speaker 1: You do. Because, by the way, that was in 2010.
33:15
Speaker 1: Some of your best and greatest accomplishments came after that.
33:18
Speaker 2: Damn.
33:19
Speaker 1: Right?
33:20
Speaker 3: I hadn't.
33:21
Speaker 2: But, yeah.
33:23
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Shall I go through your awards list again
33:26
Speaker 1: and the dates? No, no, no. Don't.
33:27
Speaker 2: But actually, they were done.
33:29
Speaker 1: No, seriously. Like, whatever propels you to took you to
33:33
Speaker 1: the next level. I've asked this question to many of
33:46
Speaker 1: my friends and on this podcast. I heard a music
33:49
Speaker 1: exec say, the version of ourselves that ruins our careers
33:53
Speaker 1: is the one that tells us we're running out of time.
33:57
Speaker 1: And you are in a place right now with your
34:00
Speaker 1: career where you've accomplished a lot, but I would need
34:03
Speaker 1: to believe that you still feel you've got the best
34:06
Speaker 1: years ahead of you and you've got shit to do.
34:08
Speaker 2: I'm so happy that you brought that up because... Somebody
34:12
Speaker 2: recently on Instagram, I was wearing my trenzas, my braids,
34:17
Speaker 2: which I love.
34:17
Speaker 1: Which I love.
34:18
Speaker 2: And somebody was like, oh my God, look at the
34:20
Speaker 2: elder wearing trenzas, braids. And I was like, and I
34:24
Speaker 2: was like, elder, question mark, question mark. And this poor
34:27
Speaker 2: person was like, I'm sorry, buddy. No disrespect. And I
34:30
Speaker 2: was like, no, I am an elder. But this morning
34:33
Speaker 2: I was like, but I'm a wisdom elder. So I'll
34:37
Speaker 2: accept that I'm a wisdom elder. But elder implies... Less able,
34:44
Speaker 2: less connected, not strong. And I'm like, so no, that isn't.
34:50
Speaker 2: And I had this whole conversation in my brain. Right.
34:53
Speaker 2: So what does it mean? Because the way I dress,
34:56
Speaker 2: everything about me is saying I am not to turn
35:01
Speaker 2: not about to turn 65. I'm not that. And so
35:06
Speaker 2: I want you all to come along in the ride
35:10
Speaker 2: with me. Just like, are you cool with this? Because
35:13
Speaker 2: I'm absolutely that way, Diana, where I'm like, hmm, I've
35:19
Speaker 2: got this project that I've got to do. I've got
35:21
Speaker 2: this project that I've got to do. And I'm not
35:23
Speaker 2: slowing down.
35:24
Speaker 1: No. No, I've seen you do yoga.
35:26
Speaker 3: Yeah.
35:27
Speaker 1: In a way that I'm like, that looks like it hurts.
35:29
Speaker 1: I don't even know. But then I see you in
35:31
Speaker 1: those little, you know, you're just, let's pivot to that
35:35
Speaker 1: now too. These decisions of self-care, because it is, you
35:40
Speaker 1: have a high stress career. You do when you put
35:43
Speaker 1: yourself in gangs ways and go come face to face
35:47
Speaker 1: with people who have done horrible things. And then let's
35:52
Speaker 1: say for the rest of us who don't work in that,
35:54
Speaker 1: like my harshest thing is, you know, 12 hours on
35:57
Speaker 1: the set or 15 hours on the set with lip gloss.
36:01
Speaker 1: It's not that bad. But when other women with their,
36:06
Speaker 1: you know, work in the ER, you know, working as
36:10
Speaker 1: a principal and you have a school for women in
36:12
Speaker 1: all these places, where do you focus on as far
36:17
Speaker 1: as self-care, as maintaining balance so that you are present
36:21
Speaker 1: to your children who still want to be with you?
36:23
Speaker 1: So you are present to your 35-year marriage and still
36:28
Speaker 1: fulfilling those personal things.
36:30
Speaker 2: So I do take self-care really serious now more than ever.
36:35
Speaker 2: I think it really started to kick in around 2015
36:40
Speaker 2: when it was a terrible year in my life. My
36:43
Speaker 2: dad was dying. My best friend was dying. And my
36:45
Speaker 2: best cousin, Prima, was dying. And Donald Trump was running
36:49
Speaker 2: for office. And I was feeling terrible. just overwhelmed and
36:53
Speaker 2: out of control. That's when I started boxing. It was
36:56
Speaker 2: around the same time when I started meditating, even though
37:01
Speaker 2: I was that person that was like, oh, never meditate.
37:04
Speaker 2: Stop it. Started meditating. And, you know, I am that
37:08
Speaker 2: person that keeps track of things. So I met 2,367
37:11
Speaker 2: days today, but who's counting? I love that you vlog. Yeah, yeah,
37:17
Speaker 2: I watch it, but I do it every single day.
37:20
Speaker 2: And I also tell people like, look, there are some
37:23
Speaker 2: people who will meditate by sitting in absolute silence and
37:27
Speaker 2: do that for an hour. And I'm like, cool, that's
37:29
Speaker 2: not my way of meditating. So I meditate, I'll stay
37:32
Speaker 2: in bed for a few minutes lying down, but then
37:35
Speaker 2: I'll keep the meditation going on because I use an app.
37:39
Speaker 2: So I'm listening to the meditation on repeat for an
37:41
Speaker 2: hour or to the song, whatever, that I'm chanting for
37:47
Speaker 2: an hour while I'm getting the bath or while I'm
37:49
Speaker 2: doing this, making my coffee.
37:50
Speaker 1: Okay.
37:52
Speaker 2: I started boxing. The working out became central. But in
37:56
Speaker 2: order to do that, Because the boxing class was at
37:59
Speaker 2: 6.30 in the morning. And I was that person who
38:01
Speaker 2: was like, you crazy.
38:03
Speaker 1: I said it when I saw your video.
38:04
Speaker 2: You crazy waking up at 5.30. I will never do that.
38:07
Speaker 2: But then I needed the boxing. And so that meant
38:11
Speaker 2: I had to go to sleep earlier. Which meant that
38:14
Speaker 2: sleep became a priority. I have to have eight hours.
38:18
Speaker 2: If I get seven, I'm like, okay, but if I
38:21
Speaker 2: do that for more than a couple of nights, I'm
38:22
Speaker 2: in bad shape. So sleep becomes a priority. Then I realized, oh,
38:29
Speaker 2: you really shouldn't eat any junk food at all.
38:32
Speaker 3: At all.
38:33
Speaker 2: Like, at all. Now, I know that this is really
38:36
Speaker 2: hard because it's an addiction that we are all served
38:39
Speaker 2: in our country. I always had my little Cheetos, my
38:42
Speaker 2: crunchy Cheetos. That was like my, olvídate, gone. And It
38:47
Speaker 2: happened because I got a stomach virus that took me
38:51
Speaker 2: out for three days, and therefore I was able to
38:54
Speaker 2: break the addiction of anything processed whatsoever. Nature, being in nature,
39:00
Speaker 2: being in silence, watching great television, disconnecting, not feeling guilty
39:06
Speaker 2: about that.
39:06
Speaker 1: What is your superpower?
39:07
Speaker 2: Ooh, my superpower?
39:09
Speaker 3: Yeah.
39:10
Speaker 2: Damn. I mean, I would say one of my superpowers
39:15
Speaker 2: is to control the ego. which allows me then to
39:19
Speaker 2: be good with the people around me. And I think
39:22
Speaker 2: my other superpower, so that's very personal. I think my
39:26
Speaker 2: professional superpower is that I go to the places where
39:29
Speaker 2: I afraid to go. Oh, yeah. And I will speak
39:32
Speaker 2: to anyone and ask them anything. And I love that
39:37
Speaker 2: I have that. Like, I'm going.
39:39
Speaker 3: Yes.
39:40
Speaker 2: To the scariest place. Also, Deanna, it's very important for me.
39:45
Speaker 2: Because we live in a world, and especially in a country,
39:48
Speaker 2: that is all about making us feel fear. Oh, scary immigrant. Oh,
39:52
Speaker 2: scary this. Oh, scary that. Scary border.
39:54
Speaker 1: Scary strong woman.
39:55
Speaker 2: And I'm just like, actually, it's not as scary as
40:00
Speaker 2: you think. People actually are willing to support each other
40:05
Speaker 2: much more than you imagine. And that gives me hope.
40:08
Speaker 1: Well, when you approach a person with no ego... And
40:12
Speaker 1: you invite them in like you do with no pretenses
40:16
Speaker 1: and no defensiveness. It's amazing who you can connect with.
40:20
Speaker 1: And that's what I've experienced with you. You were approachable.
40:24
Speaker 1: I mean, for me to do this podcast, I'm not
40:27
Speaker 1: a journalist. I'm not an interviewer. I'm a storyteller. And
40:31
Speaker 1: for you to agree to come on here and let
40:33
Speaker 1: me play you. And in the most amateur way ever.
40:38
Speaker 1: But let me... Just put some of your shoes on
40:41
Speaker 1: and let me just explore this world with you. You
40:44
Speaker 1: made me feel safe doing it. And you made me
40:47
Speaker 1: feel confident that I could. Just from your response to
40:51
Speaker 1: my text when I said, will you come on my show?
40:53
Speaker 1: And you're like, hell yes, girl. And I'm like, oh
40:56
Speaker 1: my God. She's actually excited to come on the show.
40:59
Speaker 1: So I can see that on a greater level when
41:02
Speaker 1: you're going to approach someone for their story, their perspective
41:07
Speaker 1: on something, and they're a dangerous person or they've done
41:10
Speaker 1: things that are really questionable, and you disarm them with
41:16
Speaker 1: honesty and confidence. And even if you have that fear,
41:19
Speaker 1: at least you're honest with yourself that you have that fear.
41:22
Speaker 2: So the great Sandra Cisneros, author of The House on
41:26
Speaker 2: Mango Street, and my mentor and friend, my muse, said
41:32
Speaker 2: to me when I was asking her many years ago
41:34
Speaker 2: about multiculturalism, And she said, multiculturalism means being able to
41:40
Speaker 2: see yourself in the person most unlike you. So I
41:44
Speaker 2: use that kind of not just in terms of multiculturalism
41:47
Speaker 2: or diversity or DEI, but rather in every opportunity that
41:52
Speaker 2: I have. See myself in the person most unlike me.
41:56
Speaker 2: And when you do that, you're right. It is disarming.
41:59
Speaker 1: It is.
42:00
Speaker 2: It's something that I learned from my mom. So how
42:04
Speaker 2: did I learn from my mom? My mom... We'd be
42:06
Speaker 2: driving from Chicago to Mexico every year, all six of
42:09
Speaker 2: us in the station wagon, and we'd get to Mexico.
42:11
Speaker 2: My mom would open up the suitcase with all of
42:14
Speaker 2: the secondhand clothes, and she'd start giving it out at
42:16
Speaker 2: the gas station, right, to the little boys that were
42:19
Speaker 2: cleaning the windshield. Mira esto. And go to school. But
42:23
Speaker 2: that same person, if she saw a Mexican official or
42:28
Speaker 2: police or whatever being, whatever, disrespectful or abusing their power,
42:34
Speaker 2: she would step to them, too.
42:35
Speaker 3: Wow.
42:37
Speaker 2: So that is... Powerhouse. And learning how to use your
42:41
Speaker 2: voice without fear. So I guess I did end up
42:46
Speaker 2: using my voice.
42:47
Speaker 1: You did. To the George Polk Committee's level of acceptance.
42:54
Speaker 1: You should celebrate yourself. And I love that you do.
42:56
Speaker 1: And that's not you should, you do celebrate yourself. I'm
42:59
Speaker 1: going to bring this to, because you have so much
43:01
Speaker 1: of your shit together. I'd love for you to finish
43:04
Speaker 1: this statement. Is it, it's called, is it just me or,
43:08
Speaker 1: is it just me or is anybody else blank? You know, what,
43:12
Speaker 1: what you haven't figured out yet or what you haven't
43:15
Speaker 1: been able to get an answer to as far as
43:17
Speaker 1: being a woman, being a woman at, at Why don't
43:21
Speaker 1: you know how old you are? Because I just know
43:22
Speaker 1: you're hot and you're just triumphant.
43:25
Speaker 2: No, usually Is It Just Me is usually with some
43:29
Speaker 2: technical malfunction. Go for it.
43:31
Speaker 1: This is a thing.
43:32
Speaker 2: This is where I'm just like, you know, what is
43:35
Speaker 2: the matter with this phone? Why can't I make it work?
43:40
Speaker 2: Is it just me or is it– it must just
43:43
Speaker 2: be me.
43:43
Speaker 1: Are the phones just stupid?
43:45
Speaker 2: Are the phones just stupid? No, yo soy una boba,
43:47
Speaker 2: you know, so– That is like, I am a technical illiterate.
43:52
Speaker 2: I'm not, you know, but like I'm okay with that
43:56
Speaker 2: because see, I don't use AI. Nope. I mean, I
44:00
Speaker 2: guess when I put in a Google question, okay, but
44:02
Speaker 2: I'm not using AI in the way that other people
44:06
Speaker 2: are because I'm afraid of technology mostly. Like I'm the
44:09
Speaker 2: human kind of thing. So that's why, is it just
44:13
Speaker 2: me who's not using AI or are there other people?
44:16
Speaker 3: No.
44:17
Speaker 2: I think AI is going to go bust. I just
44:20
Speaker 2: don't think it's sustainable. I don't think you can run
44:22
Speaker 2: an economy like that. My whole life is about human connection. So, yeah,
44:28
Speaker 2: all of my is it just me has to do
44:30
Speaker 2: with anything revolving around technology.
44:32
Speaker 1: My mother will call me and she will. We finally,
44:35
Speaker 1: I mean, since the invention of FaceTime, I'm like, thank you, God.
44:39
Speaker 1: because I can't walk her through whatever it is that
44:41
Speaker 1: she's like, my iPad doesn't do that. It does. It's
44:44
Speaker 1: a power button. Everybody's got one. And you just hit that.
44:48
Speaker 1: And I give her grace because technology is changing so fast.
44:53
Speaker 1: that I'm, I'm coming into the same thing. And my
44:56
Speaker 1: daughter's coming to my, my 21 year old is like, mom,
44:58
Speaker 1: you got to do this. I'm like, well, I didn't
45:00
Speaker 1: have that. I couldn't do it five minutes ago. So
45:02
Speaker 1: it just must've happened. It's going to happen. I love
45:06
Speaker 1: you so much. Thank you so much for sharing how
45:10
Speaker 1: you have ridden this wave on this surfboard and, and
45:15
Speaker 1: you are All of 10 feet tall.
45:17
Speaker 2: And bulletproof in my eyes. Ooh, okay.
45:19
Speaker 1: I'll take it. You are, and I adore you. Thank
45:21
Speaker 1: you so much for being here and giving me your time.
45:23
Speaker 2: Thank you for having me. It's my honor.
45:26
Speaker 1: How Hard Can It Be? with Diana Maria Riva is
45:28
Speaker 1: a Hyphenate Media Group production in partnership with iHeart's My
45:32
Speaker 1: Cultura podcast network. For more of your favorite shows, visit
45:35
Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.