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How To Set a Narcissist Off · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  Have you ever just wanted to set a narcissist off?
• 0:04
  Like in all the times of you dealing with a toxic
• 0:08
  narcissistic person, has it ever just crossed your mind?
• 0:11
  Like how do I piss this person off?
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  How do I get under their skin? How do I take my power back and
• 0:18
  stop reacting? That's what we talked about
• 0:21
  today, y'all. Of course, if you're new here,
• 0:22
  I'm Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist here
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  to give you the inside look at the mind of narcissists and
• 0:27
  other toxic people, and we're gonna hop right into it.
• 0:30
  Y'all Seriously, how do you set a narcissist out?
• 0:34
  So let me let me stop you right there.
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  Hold your little empathetic britches.
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  Hold your empathetic horses. Hold them.
• 0:40
  Hold up, use discretion because as you some of you might know,
• 0:46
  some narcissists will snap, some of them will absolutely get
• 0:48
  violent, some of them will lose their damn minds and threaten
• 0:50
  you and actually bring harm to you.
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  So just get that out the way first.
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  Is it out the way? Got it good.
• 0:57
  OK, perfect. So the number one way to set a
• 1:02
  narcissist ass off is to simply agree with them.
• 1:10
  Oh, you thought you thought it was going to be something like
• 1:11
  you thought it was going to be some type of master plan digging
• 1:14
  deep beneath the surface? No.
• 1:16
  Narcissist, including myself, are fragile.
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  We are fragile people. We are fragile human beings.
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  It does not take much at all to set us off it.
• 1:28
  Yeah, literally. It just does not right If I'm
• 1:32
  insulting you, if I'm trying to hurt your feelings, if I'm
• 1:36
  trying to bring pain and it hurt and disarm you and just bring,
• 1:41
  just just do all this type of stuff to you.
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  I want the reaction from you. I want you to hurt.
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  I want you to cry. I want you to beg me to stop.
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  I want you to be like, please stop talking about me like that.
• 1:54
  I told you not to say that about me.
• 1:57
  I told you to not do that again. I want that.
• 2:01
  If I'm trying to set you off, I want that from you.
• 2:05
  So if you're not giving that to me, what happens?
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  I you set me off, you get under my skin.
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  If I'm calling you fat or too skinny and you just say, Yep,
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  I'm as fat as I can be. Yep, I'm skinny as hell.
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  You too stupid. Yep, I'm a I'm dumb as a sack of
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  bricks. You're slow as hell.
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  Well, I can't. I wish I would.
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  Just wish I could be slower. You're just uneducated.
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  Yep, I'm just dumb as hell. No education.
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  No, nothing. No, nothing.
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  I can't even talk straight. Yeah, that will send them off.
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  It will, of course, like I stated previously, you need to
• 2:51
  use discretion when you're trying to use any of these
• 2:53
  tactics because like I stated previously, they can snap and
• 2:56
  lose their damn minds. Like not all narcissists are out
• 3:00
  here like just cool, calm and collected.
• 3:03
  You might be dealing with a covert narcissist that never
• 3:05
  screams, but some people are not dealing with that.
• 3:07
  Some people are dealing with the screamers, the yellers, the
• 3:09
  beaters, the heaters, the hitters, right?
• 3:12
  Some of y'all are dealing with them, so if if you're dealing
• 3:15
  with them, use discretion. I know sometimes you like you
• 3:18
  want to get it under their skins.
• 3:19
  This is the quickest, most efficient way.
• 3:21
  Y'all seriously, It just is like Sir, if they're trying to get
• 3:26
  under your skin that I know somebody just thought I I just
• 3:29
  had it. I just had this thought, so I
• 3:32
  know some of y'all might be thinking it.
• 3:33
  Woolly isn't just agree with them and just being bland and
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  plain. Isn't that just Gray rocking?
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  It's a form of it, Absolutely. It's a form of Gray rocking
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  because you know, if you don't know what Gray rocking is, Gray
• 3:45
  rocking is when you become boring to that narcissistic
• 3:49
  person. You remove all emotional
• 3:51
  reactions to this person. You stop giving them emotional
• 3:54
  energy. You're giving them
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  straightforward, bland responses.
• 3:58
  Yes, you're right. Uh huh.
• 4:02
  You got it. Yeppers, that's correct.
• 4:06
  Couldn't be writer, right? You're removing the emotional
• 4:09
  energy that you normally would be attributing to this person.
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  You're taking it back. You're removing it so it's not
• 4:15
  getting. So it's giving you power and
• 4:17
  taking the power away from them. You see what I'm saying?
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  So that's a piece of what goes on here.
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  So we're dealing with this toxic, manipulative, horrible
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  ass person. This is who you're going to be
• 4:26
  dealing with. This is the type of stuff that
• 4:27
  you have to master, the type of person that you have to master
• 4:30
  when you're dealing with them, right?
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  So that's how you get into the mindset right here.
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  That's how you dig deeper into their minds.
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  Like you have to master their mindsets in any circumstance.
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  Yeah, my mind went blank right there.
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  I'm so sorry. But as you continue to have to
• 4:45
  deal with this person, you have to learn them because they're
• 4:49
  trying to bring pain to you. They hate grey rocket.
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  They absolutely do. So if you master grey rocket
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  becoming boring to them, sometimes they'll leave you
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  alone, other times they won't. So if you're saying, Yep, I'm
• 5:05
  stupid, I'm dumb, I'm just ridiculous, I'm fat, I'm lazy,
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  I'm dumb, I'm bald headed, my teeth are messed up.
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  I nobody's going to you, right? Nobody is ever going to want me.
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  You're just so absolutely correct.
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  No one on this planet is going to want me.
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  You're right, that's Gray rocking, but that's giving them
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  some energy, right? That's not giving them the
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  energy that they want. That's giving them a form of
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  energy though, right? Am I right?
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  You're giving them something, but it ain't it's not full form
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  of Gray rocking. Gray rocking is you're boring,
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  right? Narcissists love energy and they
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  love taking energy from you. Yeah, I hate my officers.
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  Are everybody police officers? It's safe.
• 5:44
  It's safe. Provides their safety.
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  Right. But it's also like every few
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  minutes, you mean? But great.
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  Like I said, it could be it's a form of Gray rocking, but it's
• 5:54
  just a little bit more antagonistic because you know,
• 5:57
  you're trying to antagonize them when you just blend, when you
• 6:00
  just regularly agreeing with them, you're they're going to
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  take it as antagonistic. They're going to take you as an
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  enemy combatant and some of them will snap on your ass.
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  I promise you. Some of them will snap on you
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  because they feel like you being antagonistic.
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  They feel like you just why you? Why you talking like that?
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  Uh huh. You are dumb.
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  Yeah, I'm dumb. This this is how we go.
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  Y'all, You are you dumb as hell. You're right.
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  I am dumb, you know. Yeah, Yeah, you, you is dumb.
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  Thank you for agreeing with me. No problem.
• 6:25
  I'll agree with you all the time.
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  You see, dumb people would agree with me.
• 6:30
  You call me dumb. I agree with you.
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  I'm dumb. You see, dumb, dumb people don't
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  even know that they're dumb a lot of times.
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  Well, I I don't know. I'm done either sometimes,
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  right? I'm just so stupid.
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  I'm just so dumb. You're right.
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  Why the hell you talking like that?
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  Talking like what? I'm just agreeing with you.
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  Why you agreeing with me? So you you just going to admit
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  that? You dumb?
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  What the heck? I always see what's going on
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  here. See, this is dumb.
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  This is ridiculous. I'm about to get mad at itself.
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  I'm going to lose my mind on you.
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  I'm about to snap on you now they're going to snap on you
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  because you're not giving them energy.
• 6:59
  You're not giving them that emotional energy.
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  What sense does that make? Y'all?
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  You have to look at it from the through that lens right there.
• 7:06
  What sense does it make when you're dealing with somebody who
• 7:09
  thinks like this, who act like this, who talks like this?
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  What sense does it make? You got to do it like seriously.
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  They will become antagonistic towards you or get angry or
• 7:23
  upset upset with you at you because you're not getting upset
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  and antagonistic towards them like they want you to.
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  They will argue with you because they they will argue with you or
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  get angrier because you're refusing to argue with them
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  because you're refusing to push back on them.
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  And yes, again, I know how ridiculously stupid this sounds,
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  but you have to understand, this is how the mind of a lot of
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  narcissists work. We want energy.
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  We, we want to know that we matter.
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  We want to know that we have some type of control over you.
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  And the easiest, most efficient way to prove that we have some
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  type of control over you is to get you to snap on us, is to get
• 8:03
  you to react. If we can make you cry because
• 8:06
  we're bored, if we can make you scream at us because we're
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  bored, if we can find some way to victimize ourselves through
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  you because you we're bored, guess what?
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  We're going to continue to do that.
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  That means we have power. That means we have control.
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  But now you're just agreeing with me.
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  Now you're just telling me what I want you.
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  Now you're just, you're taking the power away from my insults.
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  How dare you again. How dare you take away the power
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  from my insults? How dare you strip my power away
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  from me in these circumstances. That's how it goes, y'all.
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  I'm serious. I'm serious.
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  Is this 2 rat bow? It's another rat.
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  Yeah, I'm going to. That's another rat.
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  How stupid. It really is dumb, y'all?
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  It really is dumb of narcissistic people.
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  Yes, my mind works that same way.
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  I'm still, I still think very narcissistic, y'all.
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  I just don't behave that way because I understand that
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  because I've been in therapy for eight years and I've been able
• 9:02
  to kind of curtail my emotions to get the results that I want
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  out of life. The positive results and not
• 9:08
  always the negativity, not the negativity that I've been
• 9:12
  involved in and whatnot. The positive results that I
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  enjoy, that I like that I, I feel, you know, I love that I
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  need that. I need the positive results.
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  So I've worked on myself. Most narcissists are not going
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  to do that. They love just being childish.
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  Yes, it's it's a childish ass mentality to try to set somebody
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  off, to try to antagonize somebody to get them to snap, to
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  try to make somebody cry on purpose, to just belittle
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  someone because you feel you feel at you've want to feel
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  superior to them. It's a very childish mindset.
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  And yes, no, narcissists never grow up unless they go get
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  unless they go get some help. I want narcissists go get help
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  y'all. Let's be real.
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  I, I, I, I know the vibe that I give off sometimes makes it seem
• 9:52
  like I hate narcissists, but I don't hate narcissists.
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  Yeah, I'm a narcissist. I have a narcissistic
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  personality disorder. It doesn't go away.
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  I will always be a narcissist, just like an alcoholic will
• 10:00
  always be an alcoholic for what they say.
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  Like I'm talking to a recovering addict.
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  They'll say I'm still an addict, I'm just for recovery even
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  though they they've been sober for 10 years, right?
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  That's how some people consider I could be wrong.
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  If y'all, if I'm wrong, just feel free to correct me
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  respectfully. But yeah, I, I just don't hate
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  narcissists. I want narcissists to get
• 10:20
  better. I want narcissists to see this
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  video, realize the harm and damage that they've done to
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  people and correct the shit, not continue to perpetuate and play
• 10:27
  the victim. We'll leave.
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  What about what they did to me? What about what about how I
• 10:31
  feel? What about my hair?
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  What about my heart? What about all this stuff going
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  on? Why can't they just take
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  accountability? Why I always got to be me?
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  Well, I got to do you what I'm saying.
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  Get good at agreeing with you. I'm stripped and if you get good
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  at this tactic right here again, y'all, it would diffuse.
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  It would it could diffuse them. It could make them leave you
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  alone. But you know the other side of
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  things, it could make them snap and lose their damn minds,
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  right? It could make them snap beyond
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  belief, lose they rabbit ass minds and just keep acting
• 11:02
  foolish towards you, keep being abusive towards you, keep being
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  manipulative, manipulative towards you because at that
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  core, this is who they are. You know, at their core, this is
• 11:10
  exactly who they are. This is who they're going to be
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  and you can try to get in between that or get in the way,
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  but that doesn't help in a long run.
• 11:17
  It doesn't help anybody out. Like they're going to continue
• 11:20
  to be childish or just not grow up emotionally until they want
• 11:24
  to, until they make the choice to be able to do that.
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  Y'all. So this is me wishing all
• 11:29
  narcissists the ability to grow up.
• 11:31
  If you don't want to grow up, hey, your partner's probably
• 11:32
  going to leave your kids and I don't talk to you.
• 11:34
  You have a very lonely victim blaming existence where at the
• 11:37
  end of the at the end of your life, you like everybody hates
• 11:39
  me and they because it's on them.
• 11:42
  Sure pal, rest in peace anyway, anyway, y'all they they got to
• 11:46
  make to the end of my video. The mental illness podcast is
• 11:48
  recording right now. Y'all, I have about 4 episodes
• 11:51
  recorded right now. I have three more interviews
• 11:54
  this week, so it's going to be 7.
• 11:55
  I'm going to be dropping them here on this channel of this
• 11:58
  channel. The mental illness channel is
• 11:59
  it's going to be still I'm still be talking about narcissist
• 12:02
  y'all that I'm incorporating survivor stories.
• 12:04
  I'm incorporating mental health therapist stories about how they
• 12:07
  got to become therapists. I mean, if you're battling a
• 12:09
  mental health issue or your mental illness or whatever the
• 12:13
  case may be, if you have a survivor story that you want to
• 12:15
  tell about growing up in toxic household, anything mental
• 12:17
  health related or mental thriving related, like make sure
• 12:21
  to check out the link in my description that apply to be on
• 12:23
  the podcast virtually or in person.
• 12:25
  You'll be sitting in person talking to me like so how, how
• 12:27
  what brings you here to North Carolina?
• 12:31
  ANYWAYS, y'all, I appreciate every single one of y'all.
• 12:33
  Hit that subscribe button and I'm out please.