Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 2 - Episode 276 - Carrying Resentment

Transcript

Season 2 - Episode 276 - Carrying Resentment · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

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  Welcome to the Good Morning From the Chicken Coop Podcast with
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  Kim Johnson, your creative strategist and master mindset
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  coach. Filled with inspiration,
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  distinctions, perspectives, and possibilities, we help you to
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  cultivate a mindset that leads you to create the best version
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  of yourself you could ever imagine.
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  Join Kim every morning from one of her favorite happy places,
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  her chicken coop along with all her chickens.
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  Hey everybody, good morning from the chicken coop.
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  Today we're talking about resentment.
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  Boy, this is an interesting, complicated subject because it's
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  something that we carry deep within ourselves and we don't
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  really know it's there until it kind of bubbles up in little
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  tiny moments and we figure out that we still are carrying
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  resentment for things. It's kind of like a deep.
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  Wound like a deep If you've ever had a bruise, that's like one of
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  those deep bruises or a bone bruise and it takes a really
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  long time to heal. My experience coaching people
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  has always been that resentment is one of those things because
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  you try to block it, you try to put it away instead of just
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  saying I'm very resentful and owning it now.
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  Even when you own it, sometimes it doesn't make it go away, but
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  it does make it easier to handle and it does make it easier to
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  decode. But it's like that deep bone
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  bruise, and if you've ever had one, and believe me, I've had
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  some doozies, they actually ache and you can move, you can walk,
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  you can do the most of the time, but they are miserable to try to
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  deal with. My finding has always been that
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  with resentment. We're not always clear that
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  that's what it is. We'll say things like we're
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  angry. We'll say things like my
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  feelings are hurt. We'll say softeners to it
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  instead of just saying, you know what?
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  I'm pissed and I I'm, I resent you for this.
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  I I really don't like the way this happened.
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  And I have resentment for you. And because it feels dirty, it's
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  one of those emotions that I often find is a very complex,
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  deep, dirty emotion for people to want to own because nobody
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  wants to resent somebody. It's just, it's not.
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  It's not part of our nature to be so resentful, but we have it
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  and it happens and it just stays there.
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  So it's even more insidious because it's like that beep,
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  beep, beep, beep, beep at that low level.
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  So you keep having the problem with it because it keeps showing
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  up that way. It's like that little tiny bit
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  of that beep, beep, beep, beep beep and it just.
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  Takes you out. So we are talking about this
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  because if you if you have it and you really need to check in
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  and see are you feeling resentful?
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  And I know that it's not something that we typically
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  bring up the negatives to look at.
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  But here's the thing, if we don't look at them well, what's
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  that mean? We're just going to ignore them
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  and they're going to take over and we're never going to have a
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  way to get past them. So as you look through, you
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  start saying, well, are there things in my life that I resent?
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  Ask the question. Ask the specific question.
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  What do I feel resentful about? What are the things that I think
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  I may feel resentful about? If there are situations that are
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  nagging at you between you and another person, and you know
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  that you feel a negative, let's just use a big umbrella emotion
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  right now. You feel negative towards
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  somebody. Then you can ask yourself, is
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  this resentment? Because This is why you have to
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  clean resentment up. It's like drinking the poison
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  and expecting someone else to die.
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  Every day you feel it. They don't feel it.
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  They don't even know what the hell is going on.
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  Half the time they're off and they're oblivious little world
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  and they're just like a la di da.
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  And that's the worst part of these things, because when we
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  carry them around, they become our burden, not their burden.
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  And when they're our burden and we're just holding on to them.
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  Wow. It is tough.
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  And we walk around having the same emotions and the same
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  dysfunction from it every day while they're out drinking their
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  coffee and having their bagels and relaxing or, you know,
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  completely unaware. They might not be having a great
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  life, but they're completely unaware of your emotions and how
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  you feel. So and and and even if they did,
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  it doesn't mean they do a damn thing about it.
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  If there's one thing we've all learned is that, you know,
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  they're probably not going to fix anything.
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  Because they don't have to, and they shouldn't.
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  Because it's about us. We are in charge of ourselves.
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  We are in charge of what we think and what we feel and how
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  we process and what we do. Nobody else.
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  So when we recognize that, we can actually make progress.
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  So I want you to think about it, and I want you to stop drinking
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  the poison because it's not good for you, I mean.
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  Crying out loud. We've had this metaphor before,
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  but I'll do it again just to make sure.
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  Y'all get it. It's the rain barrel.
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  I've got a 50 gallon rain barrel.
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  It's pure fresh spring water. And I say to you, hey, would you
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  like a cup of rain water? And you say, I would love that.
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  And then I say, oh, by the way, there's one drop of arsenic in
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  it. It's fine.
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  It's diluted. FDA says it's totally OK for you
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  to drink. Nothing will happen.
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  You would look at me like I was. Insane.
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  And you'd be like, I don't think so.
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  I'll skip it. I know I would.
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  If you offered it to me, I would certainly not do it.
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  But that's what ends up happening.
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  What ends up happening is we drink the poison every day that
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  we are giving ourselves by having this resentment Sit there
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  and it's just it's so unhealthy and it steals all your goodness
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  moving forward into the things you really want to do.
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  So work on this, look for it, ask the question you know.
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  And dig and get rid of it and make peace with it, because it's
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  not going to serve you All right, my friends, I hope you
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  have a blessed day and I'll see you tomorrow.
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  Bye.