Latest / Girl, Date the Good Guy ™ | Healing After Heartbreak & A Toxic Relationship / Green Flags in a Godly Relationship: When Healthy Love Feels Different

Transcript

Green Flags in a Godly Relationship: When Healthy Love Feels Different · Girl, Date the Good Guy ™ | Healing After Heartbreak & A Toxic Relationship

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  Says, when you've been through toxic cycles, you become very familiar with red flags.
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  You know the chaos, you know the manipulation, you know the anxiety.
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  But what many women don't know is what green flags actually look like.
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  Because when you've lived in dysfunction for so long, healthy love can actually
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  feel unfamiliar at first.
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  Sis, real quick before we get into today's episode, I want to invite a few of
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  you into something special.
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  As you know, my heart behind Girl Date the Good Guy is to create a space that
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  truly serves women who are healing after toxic relationships and learning how to rise again.
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  So right now I'm doing a small round of listener interviews to better understand
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  the women in this community, your experiences, your healing journey,
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  and what support would help you most in this season.
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  If you've recently left a toxic relationship or divorce, and you're in that
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  healing season, I'd love for you to participate by filling out a short 15-minute
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  interview questionnaire.
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  As a thank you for your time, I'll send a $10 gift card to Target or Starbucks
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  to the first 10 women who complete it. Here's how you can join.
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  Come into our private Facebook group. The link is in the show notes.
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  I personally review every request because protecting this community is very important to me.
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  So please make sure your profile has a picture, recent activity,
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  and that you answer all the group questions.
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  Once you're accepted, go to the pin post at the top of the group and look for
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  the form labeled interview questions.
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  Fill that out and at the end you can leave your mailing address and choose your gift card.
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  We're only opening up 10 spots and once those fill up, we'll close the interviews for now.
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  Your story matters and hearing your experience will help me better understand
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  how to serve the women in this community. I would love to hear from you sis.
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  All right, let's get into today's show.
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  Hey sis, welcome back to another episode of Girl Date the Good Guy,
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  your sister circle, your royal training ground, the place where we heal,
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  grow, and prepare for the love God actually designed for us.
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  I'm so glad you're here today, because today we're talking about something really
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  beautiful, green flags in a godly relationship.
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  Because when God sends someone into your life, it will not feel chaotic. It will feel safe.
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  And sometimes that safety can feel strange when you're used to dysfunction.
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  Let me share something personal with you. If I had not had a relationship with
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  God, I probably would have missed my good, godly man completely.
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  Because he didn't come packaged the way I expected.
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  He wasn't flashy. He wasn't overwhelming. He wasn't love-bombing me with big
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  promises and fast emotions.
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  He was calm, steady, consistent. And at the time, I was still healing. I was still broken.
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  I was still carrying fear from everything I had been through.
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  Honestly, sis, I didn't even know how to open my heart again.
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  But through prayer and through time, something beautiful started happening.
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  It was a slow burn, and that slow pace is actually one of the biggest green flags.
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  Because real love takes time. I remember something he said to me early in our
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  relationship that stood out so clearly.
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  He told me, We have to put roots down into the ground. We can't rush this.
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  And that moment was actually a big confirmation for me.
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  Because let me be honest with you. I wanted to rush it. I have been single for 10 years.
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  10 years, sis. I was ready to move things along.
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  But he said something so wise. We have to lay the roots first.
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  And that is exactly what healthy love does. It lays roots, just like a tree.
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  A tree that grows too fast without deep roots will fall in the first storm.
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  But a tree with deep roots? That tree stands.
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  And sis, especially if you've been through toxic love, you have to take your time.
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  Because if you don't slow down, you can easily fall into another toxic relationship.
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  That's why discernment matters so much. You have to take your time falling in
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  love. Take your time getting to know someone.
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  Take your time watching their fruit.
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  You need to see how this man handles life. You need to see how he treats people.
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  You need to see if he is coming with the love of Christ or if he is just another
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  wolf in sheep's clothing.
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  So let me give you a few green flags. You ready?
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  Green flag number one, consistency. The first green flag I noticed was consistency.
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  He showed up the same way over and over again.
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  Not hot and cold, not disappearing, not emotionally unpredictable, just steady.
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  And when you've lived through chaos, consistency feels almost surprising.
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  But consistency is actually one of the clearest signs of emotional maturity.
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  Green flag number two. Gentleness.
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  The second green flag was gentleness. Scripture tells us in Galatians 5,
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  22-23 that gentleness is a part of the fruit of the Spirit.
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  A godly man understands that a woman's heart is precious.
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  He handles it with care. He doesn't pressure it.
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  He protects it. Green flag number three, kindness.
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  The third green flag was kindness. and not just towards me, but toward other people.
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  How a man treats others reveals his character.
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  Watch how he treats waiters. Watch how he treats strangers.
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  Watch how he talks about people when they're not around.
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  Character always reveals itself. And over time, God kept revealing more,
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  piece by piece, layer by layer.
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  And God actually gave me a vision. I remember one moment so clearly.
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  I was at a hotel one night, and God gave me this picture.
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  I saw a green light at a door, but the door wasn't open yet,
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  and I felt the Lord showing me something very clearly.
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  This relationship was good, but we were not ready yet.
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  There was still preparation happening, because God prepares hearts before he opens doors.
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  In Ecclesiastes 3.1, Scripture says, There is a time for everything.
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  Even love has a preparation season, sis.
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  One of the most beautiful things
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  God did in my life was allow this man's character to help my heart heal.
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  His consistency, his gentleness, his openness, his kindness.
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  Over time, those things helped me realize something.
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  I was safe. And slowly, I could love again.
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  Now, this didn't happen overnight. This was almost two years of preparation.
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  Two years. And it was long distance.
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  Because God knew exactly what I needed. He knew I was still afraid to open my heart.
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  So he allowed this man to come into my life at the right time in the right way
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  to show me what healthy, safe love actually feels like.
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  And through that process, I began to open my heart again.
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  Sis, God knows what he's doing. We can trust him with this part of our lives. I promise.
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  I'm a walking testimony. And I'm going to keep saying that because I'm not just
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  another podcast throwing information out there.
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  I've lived this. I've walked through the storm.
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  And I know God has this kind of love for you, too.
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  Healthy love doesn't rush. Healthy love builds. Healthy love reveals itself through character.
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  When you walk with God, He will guide you toward what is good.
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  And when the time is right, the door will open.
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  And sis, I'm still waiting for my door to open fully too, but I trust God's
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  timing with my relationship, with this podcast, with everything he is doing in my life.
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  He is a good, good father.
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  So your royal assignment this week is simple.
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  Ask God to sharpen your discernment so you can recognize green flags, Not just red flags.
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  Pay attention to character because character tells the story.
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  Let's pray. Father God, thank you for being a God who guides our relationships.
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  Help your daughters recognize the red flags of godly love.
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  Heal the wounds that make healthy love feel unfamiliar.
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  Prepare their hearts for the men you are sending and teach them to trust your timing.
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  In the mighty name of Jesus, amen.
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  I hope this blessed you today, sis. I love you, and I'll see you in the next episode. Bye for now.