Latest / The Uplifters / Konika Ray Wong is Celebrating the Cycle

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Konika Ray Wong is Celebrating the Cycle · The Uplifters

• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: An uplifter is a compelling leader who tries to breathe life and hope into people around them who listen and care and guide and help whose way of being in the world inspires who uplifts with humor and understanding
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: who leads by example don't judge vulnerable bold determination who are here to create a better world who can learn and teach who encourages you who shines their light to lead other people who uses their best self in order to help others i found the life that i liked and i worked toward that we are all uplifters big love
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to The Uplifters podcast.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: Today, The Uplifter joining me is Konika Rae Wong.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I might have stalked her a little bit to get her on our show because I was so excited by the topic that she is focused on.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm 48 years old.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: I have one daughter who just turned 13, one who just turned 15.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like we're on the beautiful ends of a spectrum of our journeys as women.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: And they are just moving in to physical maturity and my body is also going through its own hormonal shift.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like as a mom and as a woman, the more I understand about both ends of that spectrum, the best equipped I will be to support them.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: And yet, while there's this massive surge of people talking about menopause, yay, thank you, I need this.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't hearing much about girls menstruation.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: And so Konika, as you'll hear today, is an author.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: She's a science teacher, yay for science teachers.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: And she's a mom with a mission to flip puberty positive.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: She founded the company Girl Power Science with her daughter,
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: How Beautiful Is That?
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: during the pandemic when it was obvious to so many of us that the world needed more girl power and more body literacy education.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: One of the things that I say all the time in my work is that as a mother, I believe that the most
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: Important Skill I Can Teach My Daughters is to listen to their bodies and I have one child who is super tuned into her body and one who has never heard her body signals.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: They're very quiet for her and so we really have done a lot of exploration on this but I haven't found
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: people to teach me or to talk to about this so again it just made me more and more excited about Kanika's work and Kanika now is somebody who for over two decades has been a kindergarten through sixth grade science educator she's written the book on this One in a Million it's the first book about periods for kids ages four and up oh and it has the cutest cover and I'm just so
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: Grateful for the space that you have chosen to uplift and for you sharing your time, your energy, your wisdom with other uplifters today.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for being here, Konika.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks for stalking me.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_02: I'm so grateful.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: As soon as I saw your work, I knew it was a voice I needed more of.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm really excited that we're finally having this conversation.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: So we know you're a science teacher.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: We know you're a mom.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: We know how and a little bit about why you founded this company.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like what I don't know is who you are.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that's a really vague question, but I'm curious how you'd answer it.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_02: So my ethnicity is Indian, like my parents are from India and in Indian culture, puberty, perimenopause, there are 10 body literacy topics that GPS helps folks navigate.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_02: So many of these topics are taboo or they're stigmatized.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_02: So I grew up in a household where we didn't communicate about this stuff.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_02: and I wanted things to be different for first my students and then my daughter came along she was actually one of my students from kindergarten to fourth grade she was in my science classroom and when I would do talks people just said that my passion was contagious and each person I guess or each narrative that that we shift and we make these conversations more comfortable and empowering it's very fulfilling to me personally actually like
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_02: So Many Parents Bring Baggage to These Conversations.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I was just at a school last night and the parents are kind of groaning, you know, of, oh, here we go, you know, puberty.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_02: But aging, which includes puberty, I like to actually broaden the spectrum of... So we think of puberty as this like little...
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_02: You Know, Window of Time.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_02: But modern puberty is much bigger than that.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_02: And once we widen our lens, it's actually never too early to start.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_02: And what needs to be included in that conversation is perimenopause also.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_02: It's all one big spectrum.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_02: We need to normalize change.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_02: And puberty and perimenopause, they are a privilege.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_02: So it's been a personal journey of growth.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_02: My upbringing was traumatic.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_02: I do not blame my parents.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_02: I hid this from them.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_02: Like we were that conservative, a family that didn't talk about this stuff.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_02: My upbringing, the more I talk to people, it's very common.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_02: But the first series of classes, I called it You Grow Girl.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_02: and it was when I was just being courageous and taking the risk to start this business and personally growing so the more I do with positive body image body confidence healthy friendships all of the pillars on the roadmap to body literacy the more it helps me heal I love that one of the things you mention here is the importance of literacy around these topics why is that important?
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_02: So body literacy is all about, like you said in the intro, listening to our bodies, which seems like such a simple thing.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_02: And it starts with simple things like hydration.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_02: When you're thirsty, the first sign of dehydration is thirst.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_02: And yet with the fast pace of life, there's so much noise to ignore those signals.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_02: From the littlest thing like thirst or being tired and getting enough sleep, modern living has made it more complex.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_02: Actually, right after this, I'm doing a workshop on parenting in the digital age.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_02: There's just so much more noise.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_02: There's also our moral compass.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_02: Body literacy is also tapping into that, that deep moral compass.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_02: What is right?
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_02: What is wrong?
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_02: But in the modern age, there's complexity to all of these things.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_02: So from do I need sleep?
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_02: Do I need to eat?
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_02: And am I thirsty?
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_02: To deeper things that we can listen to our body to hear deeper.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_02: I worked in the weight loss space for many years.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_02: And so much of that work was about us learning to listen to our bodies and trust our bodies and understand those signals because it's almost like a foreign language.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: If We Have Tuned It Out or Never Learned It.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I do think that if it's not your native tongue to be responsive when you need to pee, when you're thirsty or when you're hungry, a lot of things in life are just a lot harder.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: How do you help people learn that?
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_02: So I mean some of it is actually mindfulness.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_02: So I have a deep mindfulness practice and then the other big passion of mine is neuroplasticity and so when I'm talking about puberty it's not your usual entry point or perimenopause for that matter.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_02: It's not a laundry list like we commonly get of these are all of the changes and any kind of change produces stress.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_02: So it's really about a growth mindset and it's sort of a play on words because we're talking about growth being a privilege.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_02: You know, what if we shifted the word puberty to just thinking of it as growth?
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_02: Then how lucky are we?
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: And menopause, right?
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_02: It's growth.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_02: So that mindset shift.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_02: So all of our classes start out by just celebrating our nervous system.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_02: We play this game where we pretend we are all like nerves and I tell them that when we learn something new,
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_02: our nerves sprout new parts that are called dendrites and when we keep practicing practicing makes progress I try to have us count how many times in the world we hear the word perfect and you know that what is perfect anyway that's the coolest thing about neuroplasticity is that the more we practice we can reprogram yes we're still going to get messaging from everywhere but it's about
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_02: Being in Control Ultimately, and that's empowering.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_02: And all of these things that we're talking about can feel out of control.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_02: All the changes associated with puberty, associated with perimenopause.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: It feels like they're happening to us.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: But the mindset is ours to guide.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_02: And so along with that, I guess, comes just this mindful approach.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_02: I start all my classes just with taking a deep breath and then a check-in about how we're feeling, normalizing all of the different feelings in the room from anxiety to fear to
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_02: that I can almost guarantee every audience that I work with is feeling all of those things and so just to normalize it reframing it as this is our body's way of protecting us and then again that puts it in control again because you're like my body is smart actually and I'm going to listen to it reminding us of this like inner wisdom that we're all you know evolving human beings that's so beautiful and the word you used empowering I think really nails that sensation
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: So for you as somebody who grew up in a household where these things were not discussed, when did you start to feel a challenge to that or a desire to do this differently?
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_02: So both of my parents were petroleum geologists and I was an environmental activist and so our dinner table actually we watched a lot of tv and just didn't talk because the tension even if like I chose to be a vegetarian there was still like tension but I think the big shift in my empowerment and evolution was leaving going thousands of miles away to the west coast
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_02: From the East Coast.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_02: And I led hikes in the Marin Headlands.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_02: And so nature and community were the two ingredients to knowing I'm all right as I am.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_02: And I guess also the Bay Area bubble, you know, meeting like minded folks that
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_02: are about doing things differently in the world and so that's where I made friends for the first time really I mean college and all it was kind of it was tough I just didn't have those body literacy that foundation to really have that confidence so it's never too late in life because that was after college
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: That's amazing.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's such a beautiful point to make, Konika, because we are products of our upbringing and by exposing ourselves to different environments, putting ourselves in different spaces, we all have that neuroplasticity.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: Any habitual way of thinking or doing or being can be shifted by our environments and our daily practices.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_02: so I do a daily a short meditation the magic number is 12 minutes they say to to reprogram our nerves like at a minimum my most recent 10-day course is on reprogramming our habits and so it's
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_02: It's almost like being hypnotized.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_02: The meditation has two layers, one voice that comes in your left ear and one in your right.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_02: And then there's a music layer too to it.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_02: The world can be such an overwhelming place, but to start your morning being in control that you're going to make a positive change in whatever, it doesn't matter if it's this baby step, but at least it's a step in the right direction of, yeah.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: I want to try that with my daughters every morning.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: I wonder if they'd be down to do 12 minutes each morning together.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: I haven't tried it with my daughter I should try it I think she would like it because it's just it's got the two different voices and then the music layer wow yeah I think that'd be really interesting they're not down to go to the gym with me I've tried that I got a hard pass yes and nobody wants to run with me so at least not in my household good thing I have friends who do
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: So you now, you've made this shift in how you think about this and how you view your body and its natural progression.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: And now you've made the decision to talk about that.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: Why do you believe it's so important to tell our stories?
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_02: Well, you know what people say?
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_02: The feedback that they give me is that I'm relatable and that humility, it's part of Asian culture and then it's part of just my identity.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_02: Being relatable, I think, is what gets the message out in the world.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_02: and you know I've been a teacher for two decades but the pivot to taking the risk to start my own small business was like the darkest moment during the pandemic you just realize like what are you going to do with your one precious life one of my favorite quotes and here's the other thing actually that's a reframe of perimenopause so I am also 48 I also have a daughter that's you know going to be 13 in four months so we have a lot of similarities me too and um
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_02: The Uplifters.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: and it triggers this inner passion to go ahead and do it because you're running out of time yes and this is such a big theme on our show is when I ask women how did you take the leap from preparation and contemplation and move into a state of activation that thought is so big
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: How Will I Feel If I Don't Do This?
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: Life is Short, What Will I Regret?
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: Some version of that seems to come up for almost all of us at some point in that transition from getting ready to do something to actually doing it.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: And so what do you hope your legacy will be with this work now that you've made the choice to do it?
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_02: Our mission is to empower girls to navigate puberty, empower women to navigate perimenopause and everything in between.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_02: I would love to end period shame, end puberty shame, one workshop at a time, one book at a time.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_02: My goal, actually, there are 10 topics of body literacy that GPS focuses on.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_02: And I want to publish a book for each all of the 10.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_02: Teachers Are Just So Busy.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_02: But when I created this book, it's based on just in my classroom year after year, what worked as a narrative.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I need to scale because I'm one mom on a mission, right?
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_02: I realized by publishing a simple narrative that everyone... One of the unexpected things with the book is actually that when I looked at the Amazon reviews, close to half of them were dads.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_02: And...
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_02: The Simplicity of the Narrative resonated with them and actually in terms of the legacy the next step really is if we're thinking about how the patriarchy affects everyone on the gender spectrum then it is that shift of reaching everyone on the gender spectrum with girl power message actually yeah
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: That's such a great point.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's been interesting too to me to see in Uplifter reviews what a sizable population of men are supporting us and cheering us on and listening to this work.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I find that really reassuring and a reminder that we are all in this together.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_00: So you talk about period shame.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'm curious what the stories are around periods.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: So I asked my daughters, my pre-interview this morning was to ask my daughters how their friends talk about it.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I was talking to my younger one about it and she said, they just talk about it all the time.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: And when one girl starts, all her friends go in the bathroom with her and train her on how to manage that first period.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like their cultural rite of passage in the middle school to make sure she knows what to do, which I actually just think sounds like a really beautiful and accepting way of managing this.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm curious what you're seeing out there.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, you're doing this in a bubble maybe as well, a place where there is perhaps more acceptance than some other pockets of our country.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_00: But what are you seeing?
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_02: That is beautiful.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_02: I Am Gonna Bring Back to the Workshops.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_02: And that's just so inspiring.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_02: I share like a snippet of what you just said, but it was beautiful that entire.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_02: So last night when the workshop ended, so the workshop was for fifth graders at a co-ed school, but fifth grade girls actually, and their parents.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_02: At the very end, I always end the workshops with the curiosity box, the anonymous box where they can put their questions in and answer them.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_02: So one of the questions that the girls had and they said, you know, maybe this is a question for the principal and shifted it over to her was how are the boys going to learn about this?
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_02: So the girls have learned this, you know, what does the school do for the boys?
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_02: And the principal said they will be in fifth grade teaching the co-ed class.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_02: Fifth grade is for boys.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_02: That's a timeline for boys.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_02: Every year, one of my third graders started her period.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_02: So we're missing the boat for the girls.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_02: So after this question that I got last night, which was like the question of like, now when we enter the co-ed classroom and we know, you know, the boys are going to be, well, maybe it's an assumption, but the girls were making the assumption that right now they feel really empowered.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_02: I told them just like that knowledge is power and but when they shift to being in the co-ed classroom they were worried that they're going to feel shame and I guess like the question is like where does that come from yeah and we know that society to this day people tuck their tampon up their sleeve we're not walking around with it right and
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: You awkwardly buy other things at the drugstore so that people don't see the box.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_02: We try to find the aisle that's a female cashier.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_02: So for one thing, what I told them is that, and actually it is a bubble, but it's still very common in my parent workshops for parents to share with me that their daughter feels a lot of shame around this.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_02: I think one proactive approach around this is starting younger.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_02: Last night they were fifth graders, so they already came in with preconceived notions.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_02: If we start in third grade, it's day and night.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_02: In our nation, generally it's fifth grade.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_02: And then generally with parents reaching out for parent coaching with me, it's usually something kind of urgent.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_02: I think she's going to start her period next week.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_02: What do I do?
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_02: Because when you think about a big change like this, you want a lot of time to really be in the mindset.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_02: So I share with parents just like practical tips, like period underwear is this amazing new invention.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_02: Best thing ever.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_02: And kids love, they're like, what?
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_02: I don't have to wear a pad?
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_02: And actually that I can swim in a period swimsuit?
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_02: But one hack, if they don't want to walk back and forth to the bathroom with it, with the pad or the tampon, is to wear period underwear and put a disposable pad in it.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_02: And then just remember at lunchtime to throw away that pad and then continue wearing the
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_02: The Day.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_00: That's so smart.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: Layering.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, exactly.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_02: The other thing is just to keep in mind that girls mature before boys.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_02: And so if we're scientifically looking at this fifth grade class, and if their reaction feels immature, boys start puberty one to three years after girls.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_02: And it's purely scientific.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_02: Their pituitary gland is not releasing the hormones yet.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_02: and for girls it is so just having I told them just the empathy I guess um I share some comebacks that they can like if the boys are being really disrespectful about it that you know the science like everything's based in science but just that they wouldn't be here on this planet if it weren't for periods I read the book for the first time to a large group of sixth graders in Singapore
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_02: and the first person to raise their hand with a question was a little boy that that was mind blown he was like wait so you mean i wouldn't be here if it weren't for periods
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_02: And in Singapore, similar to India, it's just not spoken about.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_02: In fact, the teacher, when she booked it, said, can we not tell the principal and can you just come on Zoom?
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_02: It was well-received by the community, but she had to sneak it in.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_02: I think a lot of this is about empathy.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_02: GPS is not just for girls, but it is a girl power narrative, you know?
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_03: Mm-hmm.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: I do see that boys have a lot of empathy when I use the framework that I do yeah so much of it too as you're saying this is about our perception and the stories we have around this and so if it's cloaked in mystery yes
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: like all things that get cloaked in mystery we make up some pretty creative stories and oftentimes those creative stories have to have a villain yes and they have to have a strong narrative arc that creates a sense of something to watch out and worry about because in absence of truth that's what we do as humans and so I think what you're doing is you're saying let's just unveil this for what it is yes
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_00: It is a source of life.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_00: It is a rite of passage.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: It is a sign of growth.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I just can't think of anything more beautiful than that.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_00: And yet it is inconvenient, especially at 48.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's become increasingly inconvenient.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_02: But Planning Around It.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_02: My daughter has a really innovative tracking device that in the morning she takes her basal body temperature and then it syncs with an app.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_02: And like last night she was just like, I wish this would then have another feature where it synced with my calendar.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_02: And she's looking ahead to the vacation.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_02: We're going to Florida for the holidays.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_02: And she's like, well, I'm really thankful actually.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_02: We live within the patriarchy in a very linear world, right?
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_02: But We Are Cyclical Beings.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_02: 50% of humans on our planet for 50% of their life are having a cycle.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_02: And when we embrace the cyclical nature and the seasonality within each month, there are four seasons and there are superpowers that go along with those seasons.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so excited to hear about this because I have a sense of this.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_00: Tell me everything, please.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_02: I mean it's sort of sad timing to me that I'm 48 and my cycle is starting to not be predictable and I'm realizing all of this empowering information but as you mentioned the week that is our period feels like an inconvenience but we can flip it
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_02: To the superpower being that body literacy piece that we're going to listen to our body and we're going to rest.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_02: We're going to take care of ourselves.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_02: And for our daughters, we can really amp that up and celebrate it.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_02: Let's bake a batch of brownies.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_02: Chocolate has magnesium that helps with relaxing cramps.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_02: You know, let's take a warm bath.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_02: That self-care that we put off.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_02: What if we just instead of thinking of it as an inconvenience one week a month, we were like, yes, this is when I have the perfect excuse.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_02: To Just Get Cozy With My Blankets In Bed and read that extra book, have that cup of tea.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_02: And it's totally based in science of what's going on in my body that I'm meeting the needs.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_02: Around when we ovulate, that is the perfect time if we were to sync our calendar to do a podcast like this to put ourselves out there.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_02: That's when we are really, we have that glow.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_02: We feel like being social.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_02: And then of course, there's the phase when we are really organized and wanting to clean because actually all the messes in the house rage cleaning.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_02: So just embracing that our hormones are just making us really annoyed with the clutter at this point but if we reframe and we're just like okay this is my superpower so when my daughter mentioned oh she's happy because I frame everything positively like I can see her mentioning the inconvenience and we don't want to dance around but it's about practicality I guess like
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_02: Summer Camp.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_02: She got really practical with bringing the period swimsuit, practicing the tampon.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_02: Not when you're not having your period.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_02: Do not do that.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_02: It's very painful.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_02: Ouch.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_02: But this is just for kids.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_02: But thinking it all through, practice for everything.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_02: Last night at the workshop, it's very basic, but they practice putting the pad in the underwear so that they will be ready.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_02: I tell them they'll be the ones supporting in the bathroom.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_02: And I love your beautiful story that I'm going to add about the whole community really pitching in.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_02: and the other added layer to it I've seen some Instagram posts floating around where boys actually support the boy will hand the pad from her backpack or whatever we have the power to really like shift all of this stuff
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, she has a completely different narrative around this.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_00: It reminds me too of, do you know Mickey Agrawal?
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_00: She founded Daybreaker and she was DJing at Burning Man in front of probably thousands of people this summer while on her period.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_00: And she's also one of the founders of Thinks, the period underwear for those who aren't familiar with them.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_00: and she's really in this space and she made a lot of video footage of her free bleeding while DJing in front of this huge crowd and she really took it as a moment to make a statement around shame and the power of truth and honesty and I can't say that I'm quite ready for that personally or I
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_00: Want That for Myself.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_00: And it feels inconvenient and messy and just like more work to clean up.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_00: But for her, it was an opportunity to really just embrace the superpower of the moment and that here she was with her full unleashed creativity.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I think there are people too who say that maybe there's, we have more of our innate nature in that quarter of each month.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, definitely.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_02: We are tuned in.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_02: We feel things intensely, but that's so another superpower is it's a truth serum.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_02: So like maybe there was something we needed to communicate with family members or colleagues.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_02: Chances are it's going to come out during our PMS phase.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_02: We bottled it up and that is a superpower to get it out or emotions like whether we are more emotional.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_02: We can't think of mood swings as a weakness.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_02: and this is also part of the patriarchy boys being told not to cry but just what a superpower it is if we were holding all of that in which I tend to do family that didn't show emotions at all yeah that is such a superpower that it comes out whether it comes out in intense like rage or whether it comes out in you know in tears what a gift to get it out
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, to express it instead of holding.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's interesting, yeah, that it is literally a physical expression of what our body has been holding.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_00: And so then we also have this verbal, emotional, mental expression aligned with that.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_00: That's really poetic.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_02: And when you said the free bleeding, just to define it for a lot of people, does that, I'm guessing that refers to like wearing period underwear versus like a tampon?
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_00: The Uplifters featuring Aransas Savas
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I do think like in my 40 Sarah moments where I'm like, uh, am I going to hemorrhage?
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_00: Which I was never a person who experienced that before.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_02: It gets heavier during perimenopause.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_02: We weren't told like you would have, we just thought it stops one day, but it actually gets heavier on its way out.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_02: On Its Way Out, which is just counterintuitive.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_02: You would think it would be like gone.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_00: But I think the more we talk about this stuff, the more we can normalize it, the more we can understand it as a part of a process.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I just, this superpower framing to me is so exciting.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_00: And so much of the pain that we experience in all areas of life is rooted in judgment and
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_00: And so if we are judging this experience, we aren't able to appreciate the experience.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_00: Understanding the superpowers here is just the most perfect presentation of an attitude of gratitude.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like, oh, I'm having my period.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to get to this.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_00: I get to slow down week and my
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_00: I Get to Really Enjoy Myself Care Week.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_00: What a joy and a delight to be present in the gifts of each of those weekly seasons.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_00: Talk to me more about your own experience or practice of gratitude.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_00: What does that look like?
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_02: Even actually, as we were about to log in to this recording, I thought about how do I feel?
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_02: The first word was like exhausted.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_02: I stayed up late planning the workshop that I'm going to teach today.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_02: But then I shifted to I'm really grateful.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_02: And actually, it wires our brain when we send those messages.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_02: to go in that direction and the more we practice it they say neurons that fire together wire together so these neurotransmitters popping out so there's this powerful time before you wake up when you're laying in bed in terms of the neurological reprogramming it's a very powerful time so
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_02: you're laying in bed and you've come to consciousness that you've shifted from complete sleep to every day i think of something i'm grateful for in that sleepy i have this little thing like just like wiggle your fingers wiggle your toes because you're firing your neurons from head to toe then and i'm half asleep and they say in terms of body literacy if you want your deepest inner wisdom to like surface so what do i want to get out of today that's a really great time to manifest
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_02: The Uplifters.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_02: And then every summer I do a week-long meditation.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_02: Since my daughter turned six, the place we go in Marin, it's called Spirit Rock.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_02: They actually have a family program.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_02: And so my daughter's been a part of that.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_02: And before that, it was just my cleanse for whatever the school year brought.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_02: I could like hit reset.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes it's a silent week long.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes it's not.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_02: And it's been extremely powerful for us to actually build community and not have it be silent.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_00: What I'm hearing in that is that for you, it is a daily practice that has become a habit in those moments.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_00: And you've created a routine around that.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_00: As you said before, life is so busy and distracted that if we don't consciously map out when, where, how we're going to do this stuff, we're going to get distracted.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_00: Something Else is Going to Come Up and Pull Our Attention Back Away.
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_00: And so having that practice that is repeatable, that fits into our lives, that we feel connected to is such a powerful tool.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_02: and that attitude of gratitude too that we can frame something as an inconvenience aging along with perimenopause comes so many things um weight gain brain fog all of those things but that aging is a privilege or or that when we're empowered to know that this is actually what our bodies are supposed to be doing like this is actually a sign of a healthy body
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_02: So having a period is one of the, like the fifth vital sign.
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_02: So it means you're healthy.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_02: This really resonates with the kids that I teach because they, they grew up during the pandemic and oftentimes they actually have like trauma stories they want to, you know, share.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_02: And then we go back to, but you're healthy now, right?
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_02: And we're so grateful.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes when you get really sick and then you really live your life,
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_02: but pausing to remember that all of these signs like weight gain actually if we're going to reframe all of this is making us stronger yes like my dad is aging and you know he just was in the hospital and he lost so much weight so that makes us it actually having that extra weight there's a reason for everything yes and we want to be our strongest selves in balance going back to what you said about the judgment just accepting ourselves yeah
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_02: Accepting where we are at without trying to change it.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_02: It's silencing all that messaging.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_02: Try this cream and it will take away your wrinkles.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_02: Do this and you'll lose weight.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_02: Do that.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_02: And being like, no, this is me.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_02: This is where I am.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_02: This is where I am.
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_02: yeah and I say that as somebody who has recently started coloring my hair brown I'm waiting to get gray hair because I'm gonna go like purple and blue because with this dark hair those colors don't show up so I will celebrate that moment when it comes because that silver the purple and blue is gonna pop oh my gosh it's gonna be amazing you find the opportunity and everything that's really beautiful such a good example of it too and there's nothing
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to put judgment on people's choices to make these adjustments.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_00: And there's such freedom, I think, in acceptance of where we are and in seeing the beauty in it.
• 35:11
  SPEAKER_00: But naturally, if all we've grown up with is messaging that these things need to be hidden or adjusted, that's what we're going to believe.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_00: And it takes, as you said, it takes a long time for this reprogramming to happen.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_00: And that happens through progress and through practice and through repetition.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_00: And so the more we hear voices like yours, the more we hear girl power science, the more we can believe and accept and appreciate at an authentic level
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_00: What the Opportunity Is for Us.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_00: And the word of the year was announced today.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_00: Did you hear what it is?
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_01: No, what is it?
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_00: Authentic.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_00: I was pretty excited.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_02: Authenticity is a good word.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_02: I love it.
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_00: I was really excited about that.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_00: This is a good sign for our world that we are prizing authenticity.
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_02: And there is nothing wrong, just like you said.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_02: That's, I guess, where that recalibration comes in.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_02: I thought my body felt like it needed to lose weight, but how is it feeling?
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe it actually feels great because everybody is different.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_02: Like you said, there's nothing wrong with it.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_02: And you're just like recalibrating with your own place.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_02: Nobody Knows Your Home Spot Better Than You.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_02: And so, you know, yes, there's nothing wrong, like you said.
• 36:40
  SPEAKER_00: I love that too, because there are inconveniences that come with a changing body.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_00: We would all like to be able to wear our clothes forever, I think.
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_00: And yet there's an opportunity to get new clothes.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_00: And to adjust how you adorn your body or express yourself through your clothing and make that adaptation in time with your body's own natural changes.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_00: I think too, again, so much of it is just not seeing what's possible.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_00: And that all, again, comes back to environment.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_00: We surround ourselves with the voices in our heads.
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, exactly.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_00: Well, Kanika, this is everything I hoped it would be.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so glad we finally got to chat as you're out in the world, uplifting your community and women and girls and caretakers and fathers and those who love girls know that all of us uplifters are cheering you on.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_00: and that we are united in our uplifting and encouraging one another to keep doing and being our best by learning and listening to each other's stories and experiences.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for being here.
• 37:55
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for your work.
• 37:56
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for having me.
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_01: Such a pleasure to lots of nuggets here that I'm going to go back and listen to.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yay, me too.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_00: uplifters listen along with us and come find us over at theuplifterspodcast.com where every week you'll get a nice dose of research ideas and inspiration all specifically for uplifters like you
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to The Uplifters Podcast.
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_00: If you're getting a boost from these episodes, please share them with the uplifters in your life and then join us in conversation over at theuplifterspodcast.com.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_00: Head over to Spotify, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and like, follow and rate our show.
• 38:44
  SPEAKER_00: It'll really help us connect with more Uplifters and it'll ensure you never miss one of these beautiful stories.
• 38:53
  SPEAKER_03: Mwah!
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_03: Big love!
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_03: painted water sunshine with rosemary and thyme dwell in the perplexing though you find it vexing toss a star and hover be your own best lover relish in a new prime plant a tree in springtime dance with idle hindsight bring the sun to twilight
• 39:20
  SPEAKER_03: Lift You Up Lift You Up Lift You Up Lift You Up Lift You Up
• 39:53
  SPEAKER_03: Lift You Up.