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Why SHE Cheats?!?! · WDYM What Do You Mean?

1:14
SPEAKER_01: You're listening to the WDYM, the What Do You Mean podcast?
1:20
SPEAKER_01: Now, everyone gather around and listen to one of Hamilton's best podcast.
1:26
SPEAKER_01: No research to back this up.
1:29
SPEAKER_01: Your host, Michael Gillespie.
1:33
SPEAKER_02: You may ask yourself.
1:35
SPEAKER_02: What was that?
1:36
SPEAKER_02: That was Taps.
1:38
SPEAKER_02: Taps is a military song to signify lights out.
1:44
SPEAKER_02: Go sleep.
1:46
SPEAKER_02: Night night.
1:48
SPEAKER_02: Goodbye.
1:49
SPEAKER_02: And even death sometimes.
1:50
SPEAKER_02: We play that at military funerals and everything.
1:53
SPEAKER_02: Why you may be asking, like, well, Mike, why are you playing that to begin with?
1:56
SPEAKER_02: And it's because one of the um one of the podcasts I used to listen to at the beginning of 2023 is no more.
2:03
SPEAKER_02: It's tapped out.
2:05
SPEAKER_02: Deceased.
2:06
SPEAKER_02: Gone bye-bye.
2:07
SPEAKER_02: Um, as you know, um, I even used some of the clips of their show into my show, more specifically, uh, episode five of season two, which is titled The Um Myth of the Female Orgasm.
2:22
SPEAKER_02: I'm talking about the trauma trio.
2:24
SPEAKER_02: Uh the trauma trio has basically tapped out.
2:29
SPEAKER_02: Um I'm not saying that as um, yeah, I'm not saying that as a negative way, is because their stuff was funny, right?
2:36
SPEAKER_02: Their stuff they had some good stuff for being a non-scripted podcast for two episodes.
2:42
SPEAKER_02: And the two episodes they had, they were going hard in the paint on men, right?
2:48
SPEAKER_02: They were going severely hard in the paint, in my opinion, on men, right?
2:53
SPEAKER_02: They were talking how bad their men was, how bad this was, men don't do this, men don't do that.
2:59
SPEAKER_02: And that sparked this episode, which is titled Why She Cheats.
3:05
SPEAKER_02: Now, you may be thinking, like, well, what what do you mean by that?
3:08
SPEAKER_02: I'm not saying like anything like that, like they are cheating or anything like that.
3:12
SPEAKER_02: It's more like, are men responsible for women's reasons for cheating, right?
3:20
SPEAKER_02: So I'm doing my research and um I come to find, come to find that uh men and women have different reasons for cheating, obviously, right?
3:32
SPEAKER_02: But the extensiveness of it is kind of crazy to me.
3:35
SPEAKER_02: Like, for example, why she cheats or why women cheat, I could find three reasons why women cheat, six reasons why women cheat, nine reasons why women cheat.
3:45
SPEAKER_02: I found a list of 12 reasons why women cheat.
3:47
SPEAKER_02: I didn't search anymore because I thought 12 would be enough, right?
3:51
SPEAKER_02: So I'm like, okay, that's cool.
3:53
SPEAKER_02: That's enough for women.
3:54
SPEAKER_02: I as soon as I put in Google why men cheat, I find I find this one article that lists 30, yes, 30 reasons why men cheat.
4:05
SPEAKER_02: But that's not today's topic.
4:06
SPEAKER_02: That is not today's topic.
4:08
SPEAKER_02: We're gonna get to that momentarily, but listen, this is the the paperwork of the 30 Reasons Why Men Cheat.
4:15
SPEAKER_02: And if you get if you get listen to just listen to this.
4:24
SPEAKER_02: That's a whole chapter.
4:25
SPEAKER_02: As far as the that's it.
4:31
SPEAKER_02: That's all the pages for why women cheat compared to why men cheat.
4:35
SPEAKER_02: But the why men cheat will be coming out later.
4:38
SPEAKER_02: Right now we're focused on the women and why women cheat.
4:43
SPEAKER_02: So read an article, uh, show you about the gap narrowing, why the gap narrowing.
4:48
SPEAKER_02: Then I'm gonna go into 12 reasons why women cheat and are the men responsible for the for their cheating.
4:56
SPEAKER_02: So let's get into it.
4:58
SPEAKER_02: Uh, as you know, social norms Hollywood portrays like the men are dogs and we're all in the streets, and that's simply not true.
5:04
SPEAKER_02: But the gap of cheating is narrowing down.
5:09
SPEAKER_02: Um it says the infidelity cheat is 23% of men and 19% of women.
5:16
SPEAKER_02: Uh they find out that uh women between the ages of 18 and 29 are slightly more likely to cheat than the men group of the same age, 11% versus 10%.
5:26
SPEAKER_02: Further data out there of the GSS showed the percentage of women who cheat rose nearly 40% from 1990 to 2010, while men's rate stayed steady at 21%.
5:38
SPEAKER_02: So there you go.
5:40
SPEAKER_02: Um, the reason why the uptake on women cheat some attribute is increased to responsibility, therefore the increase of needs and wants of the modern woman, empowered by feminist viewpoints and financial freedom.
5:52
SPEAKER_02: Women are less likely to compromise now, are better positioned to seek out the emotional and gratification they're missing in their relationships.
6:00
SPEAKER_02: The gap shifted when women went to work and had their own money and choices.
6:05
SPEAKER_02: With choices come easier dissatisfaction, explained marriage and sex therapist Angela Skirt to.
6:13
SPEAKER_02: Uh, we also expect quote quote We also expect a lot more out of our marriage before marriage was a vehicle to raise our family and be taken care of financially.
6:21
SPEAKER_02: Now we expect happiness, good sex, friends, and more of it.
6:25
SPEAKER_02: We have to put out we have to put a lot of pressure on marriage when it wasn't originally designed to meet all your needs.
6:35
SPEAKER_02: So that's what sex therapist Angela Shirk 2, S-K-U-R-T-U Shirk to, says.
6:44
SPEAKER_02: And then she goes on to the 12 reasons why women cheat.
6:50
SPEAKER_02: And here we go.
6:51
SPEAKER_02: Are we, as men, responsible for all these ones?
6:55
SPEAKER_02: Number one, dissatisfaction in relationship.
7:00
SPEAKER_02: Shirk 2 goes on to say this can be an underlying theme of the majority of motivations for infidelity.
7:05
SPEAKER_02: Dissatisfaction, explains Shirk 2, is where it starts.
7:08
SPEAKER_02: People justify this by saying, Oh, we're in a bad patch, she continues.
7:12
SPEAKER_02: Then the opportunity erases for one person, and instead of stopping things before they start, they cross they justify crossing a boundary with my partner doesn't care anyway, it's completely innocent.
7:26
SPEAKER_02: For every relationship boundary crossed, a person has to justify their behavior to themselves first.
7:31
SPEAKER_02: Then they are able to carpamentalize their actions.
7:35
SPEAKER_02: Not finding satisfaction satisfaction in their current relationship can trigger someone to seek satisfaction elsewhere, or even use the act of cheating, whether conscious or unconscious, as a catalyst to end their current relationship.
7:49
SPEAKER_02: So, dissatisfaction relationship.
7:51
SPEAKER_02: Is that a man's fault?
7:56
SPEAKER_00: No, God! No, God, please, no.
8:02
SPEAKER_02: No, that is not.
8:03
SPEAKER_02: That is not a man's fault that you are at a point of dissatisfaction, in my opinion, right?
8:11
SPEAKER_02: Um, if you are dissatisfied with the relationship, that means there is something wrong with, in my opinion, something wrong with the actual relationship themselves, right?
8:21
SPEAKER_02: Um, for example, if you're having a bad patch, is that just one side?
8:28
SPEAKER_02: Is it not both sides of the relationship?
8:30
SPEAKER_02: It can't be just one person that is causing such chaos in a relationship.
8:36
SPEAKER_02: So, that one, I don't think that's on the men.
8:40
SPEAKER_02: Number two, low self-esteem.
8:42
SPEAKER_02: When a woman is struggling with low self-worth, it may spur them to look for external sources for the attention and validation that they normally get from their partner and they are unable to create and sustain.
8:56
SPEAKER_02: Low self-esteem starts out by looking like, why would anyone find me attractive?
9:02
SPEAKER_02: Then when someone starts to show that attention, it feels really good, says Shirk 2.
9:10
SPEAKER_02: Now, is low self-esteem created by men?
9:14
SPEAKER_02: This one, yes.
9:16
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna we're gonna take credit for this one.
9:18
SPEAKER_02: Uh, we are responsible for woman's low self-esteem.
9:22
SPEAKER_02: I will take that to the bank.
9:24
SPEAKER_02: The thing that I think that men should be doing in a relationship is should be complimenting, finding out the love language of their woman and then uh supplementing that.
9:35
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
9:36
SPEAKER_02: Like actually doing things for their woman if you truly love and respect your woman.
9:44
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
9:44
SPEAKER_02: Um, prime example is a lot of a lot of ladies have the uh physical touch as their love language.
9:54
SPEAKER_02: And uh I think you know that should be something that us men should do.
9:59
SPEAKER_02: Um always telling your wife, you know, hey beautiful, hey good looking, hey, hi, I love you.
10:03
SPEAKER_02: Those things, kissing, hugging, affection, those things are all provided by the the man in this example relationship, and that men should be doing that on a constant basis.
10:15
SPEAKER_02: That is true.
10:16
SPEAKER_02: That is on us.
10:17
SPEAKER_02: Low self-esteem, that is that's check mark.
10:19
SPEAKER_02: That's our fault.
10:20
SPEAKER_02: That's uh that's on us.
10:21
SPEAKER_02: Us men, we gotta we gotta be doing that.
10:23
SPEAKER_02: Number three, emotional starvation.
10:27
SPEAKER_02: While studies suggest that men who cheat are primarily motivated by sex, women who cheat tend to do to do so to fill an emotional need.
10:36
SPEAKER_02: And in the case of an emotional affair, sex isn't always part of the equation at all.
10:41
SPEAKER_02: Whether the affair is physical or emotional in nature, a woman may cheat because they crave conversation, empathy, respect, devotion, adoration, support, some other connection that's lacking in their current relationship.
10:54
SPEAKER_02: Shirk 2 goes on to say, some people convince themselves emotional is not a real affair.
10:59
SPEAKER_02: However, most sexual ones start out emotional, says Shirk 2.
11:05
SPEAKER_02: I find it pretty rare to have an only sexual affair without some emotions because they usually start out as friends.
11:11
SPEAKER_02: That's how you start crossing boundaries and justify their behavior.
11:14
SPEAKER_02: A woman who cheats may rely on affairs to provide them with proof of their value and desirability.
11:20
SPEAKER_02: When one fling ends, it may cause them to feel neglected or worthless, so they pursue a new romantic interest and the cycle continues.
11:28
SPEAKER_02: Emotional starvation.
11:31
SPEAKER_02: Is that on the man?
11:32
SPEAKER_02: That's a good question.
11:34
SPEAKER_02: Emotional starvation.
11:36
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna say yes, that's on us.
11:38
SPEAKER_02: That is on us.
11:39
SPEAKER_02: Emotional starvation is again something that the man should be supplying.
11:44
SPEAKER_02: Again, the things that she says, what women women may cheat because they crave conversation, empathy, respect, devotion, adoration, support.
11:54
SPEAKER_02: All those things should be provided by the man in a relationship.
11:57
SPEAKER_02: If you're in, if you're in a relationship, these are things that you that you have to have, right?
12:03
SPEAKER_02: What do you explain to me how you do not converse with your significant other?
12:10
SPEAKER_02: Like, you gotta have some kind of mutual interest as anything.
12:13
SPEAKER_02: You know, hey, hi, how are you?
12:15
SPEAKER_02: Good.
12:16
SPEAKER_02: Is there toilet paper in the bathroom?
12:17
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
12:18
SPEAKER_02: Communication, right?
12:20
SPEAKER_02: There's gotta be some form of communication respect when you're in a relationship.
12:23
SPEAKER_02: And if a man's not providing that, then you're you're you're opening yourself to the woman running out on these streets, right?
12:30
SPEAKER_02: So emotional starvation, that's on us.
12:33
SPEAKER_02: That is a man thing.
12:34
SPEAKER_02: That's a man issue right there.
12:36
SPEAKER_02: Number four, anger and retribution.
12:39
SPEAKER_02: Some women enter a relationship with an idle, idolized image of how their supposed should spouse should behave.
12:46
SPEAKER_02: When a partner falls short of expectations and can't meet on every need and desire, it can create a divide in a relationship that that provides an impetus to stray.
12:57
SPEAKER_02: Some women may resent their partner for another reason, such as a partner's past affair, and use their own infidelity as retaliation.
13:03
SPEAKER_02: Is anger and retribution a man's fault?
13:07
SPEAKER_02: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
13:14
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely not.
13:16
SPEAKER_02: Why why are you so angry for?
13:19
SPEAKER_02: Why are you so angry that you have an ideal image of how your spouse is supposed to behave?
13:25
SPEAKER_02: And you, if we don't act like that, you just oh well, I'm going out on these streets, son.
13:31
SPEAKER_02: Give me some real stuff.
13:33
SPEAKER_02: Like, what's wrong with you?
13:34
SPEAKER_02: That should not be a reason for that.
13:37
SPEAKER_02: That should not even be a reason for you to cheat.
13:39
SPEAKER_02: You're angry and you wanna uh you wanna just get mad and retribution, do some retribution out on the street?
13:45
SPEAKER_02: Well, if if now, if the partners had a past affair, that may be something.
13:51
SPEAKER_02: That may be that Jada and Will stuff you might be looking into.
13:55
SPEAKER_02: But if if there's a past affair, why are you there in the first place?
14:00
SPEAKER_02: So, anger retribution, that's not on us.
14:04
SPEAKER_02: Mm-mm.
14:04
SPEAKER_02: Mm-mm.
14:06
SPEAKER_02: Number five, the lack of excitement.
14:08
SPEAKER_02: You've likely heard the term serial cheaters.
14:11
SPEAKER_02: I haven't.
14:12
SPEAKER_02: People who cheat for the thrill of it, they may love their significance, but yearn for those endorphin-fueled interactions that make a new relationship so exciting.
14:20
SPEAKER_02: I think as a society, we don't honestly address how boring work and family life can be at times, explains Shirk 2.
14:27
SPEAKER_02: I was recently watching a show called Good Girls, and it turned and they turned to street crimes.
14:34
SPEAKER_02: It's addressing the same thing, boredom.
14:37
SPEAKER_02: I feel people are more likely to cheat to get involved in crimes, but it's the same premise.
14:41
SPEAKER_02: In fact, a study at the Affair Dating site, AshleyMadison.com, that is not a promotion or anything like that, ladies and gentlemen, found that 67% of heterosexual married women who cheat sought out romantic passion.
14:54
SPEAKER_02: Yet 100% of the women denied any intention of leaving their husbands.
14:58
SPEAKER_02: Even some stated their overt love for their husbands, painting them in a positive light.
15:04
SPEAKER_02: So is lack of excitement the man's issue?
15:09
SPEAKER_00: No, God! No, God, please, no, no, no, no, no, no.
15:22
SPEAKER_02: Let me explain something to you guys.
15:24
SPEAKER_02: Laugh at lack of excitement means to me.
15:28
SPEAKER_02: It means like you just you're just you're just there.
15:32
SPEAKER_02: There are so many ways to sp to spice things up in a relationship, right?
15:38
SPEAKER_02: I mean, just to name a couple things.
15:40
SPEAKER_02: Just to name a couple things off the top of my head.
15:42
SPEAKER_02: Uh dressing up.
15:44
SPEAKER_02: Or in this case, dressing down.
15:47
SPEAKER_02: Doing things differently.
15:49
SPEAKER_02: Right?
15:50
SPEAKER_02: Uh taking roles.
15:53
SPEAKER_02: Hey, you've been dominant for this long.
15:55
SPEAKER_02: Let me take a turn.
15:56
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
15:57
SPEAKER_02: There are so many ways to spice up your your life that this is uh this is not on the men.
16:03
SPEAKER_02: This is this is uh this is both, ladies and gentlemen.
16:07
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
16:08
SPEAKER_02: Number six.
16:11
SPEAKER_02: Sexual deprivation.
16:13
SPEAKER_02: Charles we might to keep the spark alive, the excitement that accompanies a new relationship only lasts for so long.
16:19
SPEAKER_02: Predictability, familiarity will eventually overtake the quality and frequency of sex.
16:25
SPEAKER_02: It's not surprising then, and some women who cheat are missing the thrilling hallmarks of a relationship, beginning stages when passion is intrigued and yet give away to a routine.
16:34
SPEAKER_02: In fact, Shirk 2 believes that this is one, historically one, of the motivators behind male eccentric male eccentric infidelity.
16:42
SPEAKER_02: It might be an expectation that at a certain point sex is not part of part of marriage, so cheating is a necessary evil.
16:49
SPEAKER_02: So, women, are you out there sexually deprived?
16:51
SPEAKER_02: Are you blaming us men?
16:53
SPEAKER_03: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
17:00
SPEAKER_02: What do you I don't know a guy that doesn't want to do that?
17:06
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
17:06
SPEAKER_02: That doesn't want intercourse or coitus, as they said on the Big Bang Theory.
17:12
SPEAKER_02: And so, deprivation, that that doesn't make sense to me.
17:17
SPEAKER_02: That doesn't make sense to me as a male, as a married man, as a man, period, that there's such a thing as sex deprivation.
17:26
SPEAKER_02: How is that a man's fault?
17:27
SPEAKER_02: That's not a man's fault at all.
17:29
SPEAKER_02: Trust me.
17:30
SPEAKER_02: Ask a guy, ask a guy, just randomly.
17:33
SPEAKER_02: Ladies, ask a guy, hey, do you wanna have coitus?
17:38
SPEAKER_02: And what they gonna say?
17:41
SPEAKER_02: They're gonna be like, yeah.
17:42
SPEAKER_02: Most of the time, yeah.
17:44
SPEAKER_02: I mean, what guy doesn't?
17:45
SPEAKER_02: That that nope.
17:46
SPEAKER_02: That's not on us.
17:47
SPEAKER_02: That's not on the men right there.
17:49
SPEAKER_02: We're at number seven.
17:50
SPEAKER_02: Seven is loneliness.
17:52
SPEAKER_02: A woman who cheats may have a partner who works long hours, leaving them at home with the kids all day.
17:57
SPEAKER_02: Perhaps they found themselves in a stage in life where it's harder to make friends, and maybe their significant other is contending with a chronic illness.
18:06
SPEAKER_02: Uh, whatever the reason, loneliness or feeling isolated and disengaged can provide the perfect ingredients for an affair, says Shirk 2.
18:14
SPEAKER_02: They feel lonely and someone else starts meeting their unmet needs.
18:19
SPEAKER_02: Is that a man's fault?
18:23
SPEAKER_02: That loneliness causes women to cheat.
18:26
SPEAKER_02: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
18:33
SPEAKER_02: I think I might keep that sound bit.
18:35
SPEAKER_02: No.
18:36
SPEAKER_02: Okay, so explain to me if loneliness is a reason why women cheat, right?
18:42
SPEAKER_02: So who you who if you want to cheat because you lonely and the man's working all day, who you sleeping with?
18:49
SPEAKER_02: Someone that don't got no job?
18:51
SPEAKER_02: That's what you want?
18:52
SPEAKER_02: Huh?
18:53
SPEAKER_02: I'm I mean, as a guy, we put we're supposed to work.
18:56
SPEAKER_02: Last time I checked, we are the providers.
18:59
SPEAKER_02: So we're supposed to provide, you know, make sure everything's good.
19:02
SPEAKER_02: You got food, you got money, you got clothes, you know, you got a car, you got a house, you know, all these things are supposed to be met because you are working, right?
19:12
SPEAKER_02: So if you are so lonely that I, you know, as a man, I'm working, you out there on these streets, who you who would you who are you talking to?
19:22
SPEAKER_02: A bum?
19:23
SPEAKER_02: A homeless person?
19:24
SPEAKER_02: Someone who's not working?
19:26
SPEAKER_02: That's what you want?
19:27
SPEAKER_02: That's not on the man.
19:28
SPEAKER_02: That is on you.
19:29
SPEAKER_02: If you're feeling that way, that's that's that's that's wrong.
19:32
SPEAKER_02: Loneliness is not a good reason for that.
19:35
SPEAKER_02: Number eight, insecure attachment style.
19:39
SPEAKER_02: This is interesting.
19:40
SPEAKER_02: Attachment theory suggests that early child relationships influence how we perceive and behave in our intimate relationships as adults.
19:47
SPEAKER_02: Depending on the care and nurturing or lack thereof that one receives as a child, they'll fall into one of these three attachment styles as adults.
19:54
SPEAKER_02: Secure, having well-adjusted expectations and approaches to a relationship, anxious, exhibiting fear and abandonment, or avoidment, uh, preferring to retain their independence from others.
20:06
SPEAKER_02: People who identify with anxious and avoidant attachment styles are more likely to display characteristics that interfere with a healthy, romantic relationship, and cleanliness and dismissiveness.
20:17
SPEAKER_02: Moreover, they are more likely to cheat and they seek out assurance from a third-party partner, attempt to avoid intimacy of the primary relationship.
20:27
SPEAKER_02: Shirk 2 goes on to say, There's always a sense of what's on the other side, never being fulfilled and happy and secure in oneself.
20:34
SPEAKER_02: This type of person may struggle to be in a happy relationship.
20:40
SPEAKER_02: Is that the man's fault that you have secure, insecure attachment style?
20:47
SPEAKER_00: No, God.
20:50
SPEAKER_02: No, God, please, no, no, no, no, like she says, in early childhood relationships, uh early childhood relationship influence.
21:04
SPEAKER_02: How is that the man's fault?
21:06
SPEAKER_02: That ain't I didn't I just met you and I we trying to date, but you haven't uh anxious uh and then avoiding attachment styles, and that's my fault as a man?
21:18
SPEAKER_02: Mm-mm.
21:19
SPEAKER_02: Nah women, no, that no, no, no, no.
21:22
SPEAKER_02: That ain't not us.
21:24
SPEAKER_02: That's on your childhood and how you developed, or in this case, lack of development, and now you doing this insecure attachment style, and you're always looking on the other side, what's on the other side of the fence?
21:35
SPEAKER_02: You ain't never happy.
21:36
SPEAKER_02: That ain't my fault.
21:38
SPEAKER_02: That's not a man's fault.
21:39
SPEAKER_02: That's not a man's fault.
21:41
SPEAKER_02: Number nine, we're getting there.
21:44
SPEAKER_02: The midlife crisis.
21:46
SPEAKER_02: When midlife crisis generally affects people between the age of 35 and 60, the event is less to do with age than extending circumstances.
21:55
SPEAKER_02: Major life events such as death of a parent or a milestone birthday may trigger a midlife.
22:00
SPEAKER_02: Crisis in a woman causing the wrestle out with the burden of greatness.
22:04
SPEAKER_02: This is a social cultural expectation for women, can and should have it all.
22:10
SPEAKER_02: A successful career, a loving partner, adoring children, and so on.
22:15
SPEAKER_02: People think I only have so much time left.
22:17
SPEAKER_02: What am I doing with my life?
22:18
SPEAKER_02: A woman may act out of character as she attempts to realize her potential to make up for lost time.
22:24
SPEAKER_02: Is that a man's fault?
22:27
SPEAKER_03: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
22:34
SPEAKER_02: No.
22:35
SPEAKER_02: That is that's just, I guess, a general thing that happens with people.
22:44
SPEAKER_02: I don't know yet.
22:45
SPEAKER_02: Even though I'm in the according to this article, I am in the the gap of middle-aged middle-aged crap between 35 and 60.
22:54
SPEAKER_02: I'm in the middle of that.
22:56
SPEAKER_02: I don't feel that way.
22:57
SPEAKER_02: So why would a woman feel that way?
22:59
SPEAKER_02: And how is that the man's fault?
23:01
SPEAKER_02: It's not.
23:02
SPEAKER_02: I guess that's part of life.
23:04
SPEAKER_02: So again, that is not our fault.
23:08
SPEAKER_02: I don't see how that could be our fault.
23:11
SPEAKER_02: Number 10, underlying conditions.
23:14
SPEAKER_02: Depression and fidelity goes hand in hand.
23:16
SPEAKER_02: And the affair is exciting, so much that the brain can begin to pump dopamine, serotonin, neurotransmitters we produce when we're attracted to someone, but which, not coincidentally, are the same chemicals chemicals produced when it when we take antidepressants.
23:31
SPEAKER_02: In other words, a woman who cheats could be self-medicating through their infidelity.
23:36
SPEAKER_02: Even if they don't realize the true reason behind their pleasure is underlining conditions.
23:44
SPEAKER_02: You already know where I'm going.
23:45
SPEAKER_02: Is this underlying conditions a man's fault?
23:50
SPEAKER_02: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
23:58
SPEAKER_02: So if you are battling depression and infidelity, or I'm sorry, if you're battling depression, how is that a man's fault?
24:06
SPEAKER_02: Here we go again.
24:08
SPEAKER_02: Maybe I'm taking the wrong idea behind this, but if you're having a depression episode or something wrong with you, shouldn't you go see counseling?
24:17
SPEAKER_02: Shouldn't you go talk to somebody?
24:20
SPEAKER_02: Maybe your significant other, or actually, like I said earlier, get some counseling done.
24:26
SPEAKER_02: Do that, right?
24:27
SPEAKER_02: Do that.
24:28
SPEAKER_02: Go see somebody, get the help you need.
24:30
SPEAKER_02: Don't be out there on these streets sleeping with bums because we all working just for some uh underlying conditions or underlying conditions.
24:43
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
24:43
SPEAKER_02: Number 11, we're almost there.
24:46
SPEAKER_02: Opportunity.
24:48
SPEAKER_02: Acts of infidelity and are premeditated, but rather a result of an unexpected opportunity, they feel down, and another person in a similar boat crosses their path.
25:00
SPEAKER_02: They start conversating and it moves on from there.
25:03
SPEAKER_02: People in a situation usually can't explain the reason behind their infidelity, and so it just happens, even though really there's specific moments of truth that can make or break a potential affair.
25:14
SPEAKER_02: Similar opportunities exist in the digital realm too.
25:17
SPEAKER_02: Social media, dating apps, texting have revolutionized that that ease at which we can connect with others, sometimes serving as a springboard for affairs, even if the interaction starts out innocently.
25:32
SPEAKER_02: Opportunity is that a man's fault?
25:35
SPEAKER_02: That this one is not a man's fault.
25:37
SPEAKER_02: This is this is this is the world today.
25:39
SPEAKER_02: This is why the numbers are starting to get parallel with each other.
25:44
SPEAKER_02: They're both starting to to to get the same.
25:49
SPEAKER_02: The the idea of all these dating apps, swipe left, swipe right, uh is making it easier for people to just go out and do whatever.
26:00
SPEAKER_02: And all you guys get is a picture, right?
26:03
SPEAKER_02: A picture, a profile, what they like, what they don't like, and that's it.
26:07
SPEAKER_02: And people are swiping left, swiping right, and that is that's what makes it easier for people to do this stuff.
26:14
SPEAKER_02: So opportunity, that's not a man's fault, that's a generational thing.
26:18
SPEAKER_02: Think about it.
26:19
SPEAKER_02: You you easily have access to do it in the palm of your hand, right?
26:24
SPEAKER_02: That's how crazy this thing is.
26:27
SPEAKER_02: So, opportunity is that a man's fault?
26:30
SPEAKER_02: It's not, but it's it's a generational thing.
26:33
SPEAKER_02: So I'm not gonna play the music, but you get it.
26:36
SPEAKER_02: Number 12, the last reason why women cheat.
26:41
SPEAKER_02: Numbing feeling numbing difficult feelings.
26:44
SPEAKER_02: People can develop a wide variety of coping mechanisms to deal with difficult emotions, sometimes choosing strategies that have emotional numbing effects as an easier opportunity or easier option than facing them.
26:56
SPEAKER_02: Sex, drugs, alcohol, and other addictions or compulsive behaviors are just a few examples.
27:01
SPEAKER_02: An affair is easy to escape from reality, Shirk 2 says, when women struggle to be honest about what they want with their partners and instead seek out a fantasy world that only numbs and but creates an amazing jolt to the system.
27:14
SPEAKER_02: There's an adrenaline rush to cheating.
27:18
SPEAKER_02: Does number 12 numbing difficult feeling?
27:22
SPEAKER_02: Is that a man's fault?
27:24
SPEAKER_03: You already know the answer.
27:25
SPEAKER_03: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
27:32
SPEAKER_02: If you're feeling if you got you got all these feelings inside your head, what's the reason behind it?
27:38
SPEAKER_02: What's the coping mechanism to deal with difficult emotions?
27:41
SPEAKER_02: If you got if you got if you're at a point where you're having difficult emotions about something, you should you should be talking to somebody, right?
27:48
SPEAKER_02: And that's what this boils down to.
27:50
SPEAKER_02: Like all fun and games about the 12 reasons why women cheat and everything, but it all boils down to one one simple thing.
27:59
SPEAKER_02: One simple thing.
28:01
SPEAKER_02: You guys have to communicate.
28:03
SPEAKER_02: Communication is the key to success.
28:05
SPEAKER_02: That is not a lie.
28:07
SPEAKER_02: If you are communicating well with your partner and you're telling them, hey, I need A, B, and C and D to be happy, right?
28:16
SPEAKER_02: That's that's the opportunity to tell, you know, you tell your partner I need A, B, C, and D, and that's your partner should be like, okay, I need to get A, B, C, and D together in order to keep this relationship in a happy medium.
28:30
SPEAKER_02: Communication.
28:30
SPEAKER_02: We all have to communicate.
28:32
SPEAKER_02: And it's hard to communicate sometimes.
28:34
SPEAKER_02: But I think the idea of communicating with each other strengthens the bond between each other, okay.
28:42
SPEAKER_02: That's the main part.
28:43
SPEAKER_02: So if you get anything out of this, one, it's not the man's fault that y'all out the women are out there in these streets, okay?
28:50
SPEAKER_02: It's not our fault.
28:52
SPEAKER_02: Number one.
28:53
SPEAKER_02: And number two, we have to communicate with each other, ladies and gentlemen.
28:56
SPEAKER_02: We have to communicate with each other to to make sure that these 12 reasons are not good enough reasons for women out there cheating.
29:05
SPEAKER_02: With that being said, we're gonna end this episode.
29:14
SPEAKER_02: That is the reason why she cheats.
29:16
SPEAKER_02: That's part one.
29:18
SPEAKER_02: Part two, this one's gonna be fun.
29:22
SPEAKER_02: The 30 reasons why women or why men cheat.
29:25
SPEAKER_02: Sorry.
29:25
SPEAKER_02: I've already I've already bashed and put women through the dirt.
29:28
SPEAKER_02: And now it's time to go to the men.
29:29
SPEAKER_02: Why do 30 reasons why men cheat?
29:32
SPEAKER_02: Next on the WDYM.
29:33
SPEAKER_02: I'm your host, Michael Gillespie, and I'm out.
29:36
SPEAKER_02: Girl Scout, yeah, you heard me.
29:39
SPEAKER_02: Peace.