Latest / The Favourite Self Podcast / 23. You Don’t Need More Proof. You Need More Self Trust.

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23. You Don’t Need More Proof. You Need More Self Trust. · The Favourite Self Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Becoming your favorite self isn't about becoming someone who has all the answers.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: No, far from it.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: It is becoming someone who trusts herself enough to listen to her own inner dialogue, her own inner voice, her own inner wisdom.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: Someone who trusts herself to take the next step without needing the whole path laid out perfectly in front of her.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the favorite self podcast.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: I like to think of it not as your future self or your best self, but your favorite self.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: My favorite self that just makes me feel the truest version of me.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: What lights your favorite self on fire?
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Carly Hadaway, founder, author, storyteller, and a woman who learned that building a successful life means nothing if it doesn't feel like yours.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: This podcast is for women who are building businesses, raising families, leading movements, and asking themselves, is this it or is there more available to me?
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: This is your invitation to come back to yourself.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: Let's dig in.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: Before we get into today's episode, I want to personally invite you to something I have been dreaming about for a very long time.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: The favorite self-retreat is happening on October 1st at the beautiful Wisdom Gardens Retreat Center in East Quillenberry.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: This is a full day for the woman who can feel a new chapter calling her, the woman who is ready to reconnect with her deepest desires, trust the vision she has for her life, and step forward with the confidence to create something even bigger than she has allowed herself to imagine.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: Together, we'll create space to release the stories, patterns, and beliefs that no longer belong in your next chapter.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: But this day is also about so much more than what you're leaving behind.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's about remembering who you are, reclaiming the gifts, dreams, and desires that have always been within you, and becoming the version of yourself who feels safe, worthy, and fully capable of bringing her wildest dreams to life.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: You'll be guided through breath work, subconscious rewiring, reflection, meaningful conversation, and powerful exercises designed to help you clarify what you truly want and confidently step into what's next.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: This really isn't about becoming someone else.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's about coming home to the most powerful, expressed, and fully alive version of you and giving yourself permission to dream bigger.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: So if you know you're ready for your next chapter, I would love to have you in the room.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: Spaces are limited and spots are already being claimed.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: You can learn more and reserve yours through the link in the show notes.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: Now let's get on to the episode.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, and welcome back to another episode of the Favorite Self podcast.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm coming to you solo again today, and I want to talk about something that's been coming up a lot for me, for my clients, for my friends in business, especially over the last couple months.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: And that is this feeling of friction.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: I've called it that because I've been thinking and reflecting a lot on it.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: And it really is about these areas in maybe your life or your business where you're not feeling burnt out.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: You're not necessarily, it's not that you're unmotivated, but you're just not feeling it.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe there is a fatigue with it, a feeling of exhaustion.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just that something that used to feel relatively easy, maybe, or was something that was routine or a schedule or a habit, or something that you are used to doing, it just feels a lot heavier.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's not flowing the way that it used to.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: And there's this inner dialogue around how you know that you could keep doing it the same way and just push through and force it.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: But there's a part of you that just keeps resisting.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I was at dinner recently, a female founder's dinner hosted by the incredible Ali Aruda, who I must have as a guest on the podcast.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: She's a good friend of mine.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: And it was this group of successful women in business who are building multiple six, seven, even eight figure businesses sitting around this table.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: It was a really intimate dinner, which I love going to these more intimate networking events.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: It just allows you to really get deeper much faster, which is also why I created the Favorite Self Retreat.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: I love these groups of like 10 to 15 women coming together in a space.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: And we were having such great conversations, but there was really this almost immediate collective response around the table when we started talking about Instagram.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: And it was this feeling of, oh my God, I just am not feeling like showing up there right now or showing up in the same way, or I can't even open the app without cringing.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so tired of seeing the same content.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: Even this feeling of, I'm just over feeling like I have to put out so much content and work so hard for the sale, this resistance.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: And if you remember, I was feeling this earlier this summer in July.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: I recorded a solo podcast about it.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: If you haven't listened to it, you can go back and check it out.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: My solo episodes are always short or like 25 minutes.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: And everyone could really relate to this feeling.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I found it so interesting because I had been feeling this previously.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: And as someone who's been in the marketing world for 15 years, around 15 years, who's been in entrepreneurship for 11 years, I know how to create content.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: I've been on these platforms for over a decade.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: I know how to market.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't that I suddenly forgot how to do it or that it suddenly wasn't working because I'm someone that sees where these platforms are going.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm, it's literally my job to keep up with the shifts and the changes.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: But along with that external shift, there's the internal shifts.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: And the reality was I just didn't feel like showing up the way that I had been showing up.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: And sitting around this table with so many other women saying the same thing made me reflect that much more on the bigger shift that's happening right now.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think too often our instinct when we hit this feeling of friction is to treat it like a problem, a problem that we have to solve.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: We are entrepreneurs, we are problem solvers.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: It is what we do best.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: And so we start asking ourselves these questions as inner dialogue starts happening.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: How do I get myself back into it?
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: How do I become more consistent?
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: How do I push through?
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: How do I get my momentum back?
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: But I really like to look at, as if you heard the other episode I was talking about, how that friction or resistance can actually be useful information.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: And what if that resistance isn't actually something that you are supposed to overcome?
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's actually showing you that you have outgrown something.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you have outgrown a platform.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: The reality is that if you have been building an online business for the last handful of years plus, decade plus for me, you have probably had a presence on Instagram.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: Instagram has probably been a big part of your strategy.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's been one of the leading platforms for years.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: And there's also been this conditioning within this space for entrepreneurs, especially or content creators, to show up a certain way in order to appease the algorithm, get the metrics, get the likes, get the followers, get the engagement.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: And so we've conditioned ourselves to show up in this way.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: And often it actually has become a performance, maybe without us even noticing it.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: We've put on this mask because we know that when we show up this way, it works, it converts, it gets followers, it gets the likes.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: And so we start playing these roles and suddenly they start to feel normal.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: And this way of working starts to make sense and starts to click.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: But what I think has happened is that we've lost ourselves along the way.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: And so now collectively we are shifting into this era that I think is so exciting because you are being rewarded more than ever for showing up as your whole self in your truth, in your full authenticity online and Instagram specifically.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: But people are suddenly forgetting who they even are and what it feels like to show up in their truth because they have been doing it a different way for so long.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: This always comes back to with the identity shift when you are really stepping into your authenticity, your most favorite magnetic self.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: There is a shedding involved first.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: First, you need to let go of all the parts of you, all the patterns, all the behaviors, even the relationships that are not serving this most authentic version of you.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe that includes the way that you've been used to showing up on Instagram.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: And it might sound frivolous, but if you've been building an online business, you know it's not.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: You know that there is so much that goes into building an online presence and having the courage and the conviction to show up and use your voice and share your story in this space and build community from an authentic place.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: And you've also been conditioned to do it a certain way, to follow this formula, to follow this template, and probably been doing that for years.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: And if you are someone that's always quick to jump on the latest trend or try the latest formula or try the latest hack for growth, then I think you are especially susceptible to this.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's going to take work to pause and to lean back and to take off the mask that maybe you didn't even realize that you were wearing.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I think there's another element of this.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's not just the fact that you have outgrown the way that you've been showing up on Instagram.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: I think we have outgrown so many other parts of how we run our businesses, how we lead our businesses, and ultimately how we define success.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: And this is, again, this collective shift we are heading into in this new paradigm.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: You can read all about it in Human Design.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: One of my favorite experts to follow is Jenna Zoe.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: She writes incredible pieces about this on Substock, if you're not familiar with it.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: But we are collectively heading into a whole new era where I believe more than ever we are going to be rewarded for leaning into our true gifts, our true purpose, and showing up and sharing them with the world.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: And we're just on the tip of it.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: So there's so much unknown still.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: And it's scary when it's unknown and uncertain, and there's a lot of risk involved.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: And there's going to be trailblazers that are going to lead the way.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: But I think what's important for us is to really make room for a bigger conversation about what we are actually building towards, what we want our life and our business to feel like.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: And where are we giving our power away to external results that tell us whether or not we're doing a good job?
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: Because especially in entrepreneurship, I think it's so easy to inherit this definition of success without ever really stopping to even decide if it's ours or not.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: More revenue, more clients, more followers, more visibility, a bigger team, a fuller calendar, more opportunities, more growth.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: The list goes on and on and on.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: And none of those things are bad.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: I still want growth.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: I still want to make more money.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: I want this podcast to reach more people.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I want my businesses and the things that I'm creating to continue to grow.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: But this summer I found myself asking a really simple question at the root of it.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: And the question is, what am I actually trying to create with all of this?
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: If I want more money, why?
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: Why do I want more money?
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: If I want the business to grow, why?
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: If I want the podcast to grow, why?
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: What is all of it ultimately giving back to me?
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: What's the root of it?
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: And the answer I kept coming back to again and again was freedom, which I think so many entrepreneurs can relate to.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: Freedom in how I spend my time, how I spend my money, how I structure my days, freedom to create something I am so excited about, freedom to do the work that lights me up, freedom to say no to the things that don't feel good, even if they used to, but don't feel good anymore.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: Freedom to spend more time being present with my family.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: Freedom to go for a walk in the woods in the middle of the day.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: Freedom to truly build my business around my life instead of constantly building my life around my business.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: So I started painting this picture in my mind of the version of me who has created that.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: The version of me who feels this true definition of success, who feels uh abundant and free.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: And what does she actually do all day?
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: What does her morning look like?
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: How does she work?
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: What does she prioritize?
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: What does freedom actually look like when it's not just this abstract goal, but actually a Tuesday morning, an everyday normal Tuesday morning.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I had this realization that so many of the things that I was envisioning for my life and business, I am already living.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: They already exist.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: The other morning I was sitting on my back deck with a hot coffee, listening to the birds, watching my kids play.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: It was a beautiful sunny day.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I was just slowly drinking my coffee and hanging out with my kids instead of immediately opening my laptop and jumping into a full day of meetings.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I had this moment where I'm like, this is it.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: This is literally what I have been working towards for so many years.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: This is freedom.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I also know at the same time that if I am not careful and intentional and present, I can completely skip over that moment because I am maybe lost in a spiral thinking about the next offer I'm wanting to sell, the next thing on my to-do list, the team member that I have to communicate with, the client that I need to reach back out to, and thinking about what I can do to get revenue up to where I want it to be, or to sell something that hasn't been selling recently, or whatever, chasing whatever that next goal is that maybe I haven't hit yet.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: And the reality is that we can spend our entire lives postponing the feeling that we are literally trying to create.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: Once I make this much money, then I'll feel successful.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: Once this offer sells out, then I can relax.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: Once the podcast reaches a certain number of downloads, then I'll know that it's working.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: Once I have enough clients, then I'll trust that the business is growing and doing okay.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: That I'm doing okay.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: And this is really rooted in my own process in manifestation because I believe manifestation is so much more than a vision board that you're creating.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: It is not about just thinking positively and pretending that nothing bad's happening.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: Definitely not.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need to bypass the challenges in order for your manifestations to come true.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: That's something I feel so passionately about.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: They can actually be like really powerful teachers and guides for you.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: And it's definitely not sitting back and waiting.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: It is really taking the action that's required.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_00: But even more than that, it is about embodying the result before the evidence arrives.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: So it's asking yourself, who would I be if I trusted that this was already unfolding exactly as I envision it unfolding?
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: How would I show up if I wasn't forced to drive a certain income?
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: How would I move through my day if I believe that I didn't have to prove myself and prove every five minutes that it's working?
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: I've really realized over the years how much pressure I put on myself because I am constantly asking for and looking for proof.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_00: Proof that the right clients are coming in, proof that the podcast is growing, proof that people want to jump into the next offer, proof that the things that I'm building and creating are going to work.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: But I have to remind myself that I am doing my part.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_00: I am showing up, I am talking about my work, I'm nurturing relationships, I'm putting out invitations, I am sharing my message and my story with the world.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: And at some point, my responsibility ends and this need for control begins because I can create the conditions, but I cannot control the outcome.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_00: And that actually has been such a freeing lesson for me to learn as a recovering control freak.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I can trust that the right clients are coming in because I know I am taking the action to create the opportunities for them to find me.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: I can trust that this podcast is finding the right listeners and attracting the right guests because I am showing up in my truth and talking about what actually matters to me.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'm allowing myself to have the conversations that I really care about instead of just manufacturing something because I think that it's what will perform well.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's a big one.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I can trust that the right people are jumping into the next offer because I have the receipts for that.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: Every program that I've run, every room I've brought together, somehow the right combination of people has always found their way into it.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_00: Even when it's been a small, smaller combination of people than I maybe intended, smaller than the initial goal that I set for myself.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's always been the right people, the people that needed that transformation at that time the most to get the most impactful results.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: And that's who I'm looking to attract.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's who I'm looking to work with.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_00: The people who really need my gifts, my superpowers, what I have to offer and how I do it differently.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_00: And so when it comes to my responsibility in that, my job is to get the message right.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: My job is to create the container.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_00: My job is to deliver the transformation, the promise that I said I was going to deliver.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: My job is also to make the invitation.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_00: I am the channel.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: I am not responsible for controlling exactly how and who arrives there.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_00: And there's something that is so freeing about recognizing the difference between responsibility and control.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think a lot of us confuse the two.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_00: We think that if we care enough, we should be able to control the outcome.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: If we do everything right, the launch should go exactly according to plan.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: If we create the good value-packed post, then it should reach a certain number of views.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_00: If we have an amazing offer, people should buy it immediately.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_00: And it's this feeling of like, if I am truly good at what I do, then I should never have a slow month.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_00: Because what does that mean about me?
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_00: Which I'm also going to get into.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_00: But entrepreneurship does not work like that.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, entrepreneurship has taught me more about self-trust because this is the self-trust conversation than almost anything else in my life.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: Motherhood has also been a big one.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_00: But you have to make decisions without knowing whether they're going to work.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_00: That is entrepreneurship.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_00: You have to be willing and brave enough to put ideas out into the world before the world has validated that they're going to work.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_00: And that doesn't mean that you're not doing your market research.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_00: There are steps you can take to test an idea, absolutely.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_00: But you are still having the courage to create something from nothing and share it with the world.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_00: And this means trusting your intuition and then collecting the information afterward.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_00: You get to pivot, you get to experiment, you get to let things go, you get to say No.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you get to hear no and trust that it there's a reason for it.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: And you get to have months where it doesn't look the way that you hoped it would, especially on the spreadsheets.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_00: And not immediately decide that your entire business is falling apart.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_00: That's the roller coaster ride.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the biggest lessons that I've learned in entrepreneurship is to stop making every result mean something about me.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_00: We do this constantly.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: There's a post that flops, and suddenly nobody cares what I have to say.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: Something doesn't sell, and suddenly it's the offer must not be good, or the message must suck.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: A prospect says no, and suddenly people don't see the value, or the price is too high.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_00: An episode gets fewer downloads, and suddenly the podcast isn't growing.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: But those are often stories.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_00: The result is data.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_00: The meaning is something that we add to that.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_00: That's our human.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_00: And really our job here is to collect the data, to learn from the data, and to adapt accordingly, without taking it personally.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_00: Which I think is the challenge of it all.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: Because we are personally invested.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: When you are so invested, when you have created an offer that comes from your true purpose and is so meaningful to you, and you know how much potential it has to have massive impact, it is so hard to not get attached to the outcome.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_00: But you have to be able to separate the two.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_00: And this is another question that entrepreneurship keeps asking me over and over again.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: Can I trust myself even when there isn't immediate evidence telling me that I should?
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_00: Because self-trust doesn't mean believing that every choice you make is going to work out perfectly.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_00: Self-trust is knowing that even if it doesn't work out the way that you hoped, you trust yourself to figure out what's next.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_00: And one of my favorite ways to reflect on this, as you know, if you're a listener of this podcast, is to tune into nature.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_00: I find myself doing that a lot, especially this summer with this slower pace.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_00: If you are enjoying an Ontario summer, you just soak it all up.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're like me, you spend as much time outside as possible.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_00: And being in nature really gives me these analogies, these metaphors, these signs and synchronicities and mirrors that help me reflect differently and ask better questions.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_00: So I actually shared a story recently on my Substack about a bird feeder that we put out.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm just gonna recap it here for you quickly.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_00: But basically, Luke got me this camera bird feeder for Mother's Day.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_00: If you follow me on Instagram, then you've probably seen my bird pictures and videos.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_00: If not, you're missing out and you should come hang.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_00: And when I first put it up, for like two and a half weeks, not a single bird came to the feeder.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like constantly watching it, checking it, looking at my phone for the notifications from the camera app, wondering what was going on.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like googling and asking Chad, I'm like, why aren't these birds coming?
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_00: And scrambling.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, is it the seed?
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_00: Do they hate the camera on the feeder?
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_00: Is it in the wrong spot?
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_00: What's going on?
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_00: And then eventually one bird landed.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_00: And then another.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_00: We had some grackles to start, then cardinals and blue jays.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_00: And suddenly it was like every bird in the neighborhood got the group text, knew where the food source was.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_00: And it made me laugh reflecting on this because the reality is that putting the bird feeder outside and then watching from my window, being like, hello, birds, like, your food is here.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's dinner time.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_00: It was not doing me or them any favors.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_00: And it sounds ridiculous, honestly.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm laughing at myself as I as I share this.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_00: But is this not exactly what we find ourselves doing in business?
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_00: We put something out there and then immediately hover over it.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_00: How many times have you rewatched your stories when you finally talk to the camera?
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_00: How many times have you rewatched your own content in Reels and like refreshed your notifications?
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_00: Wondering, is it working?
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_00: Are people seeing it?
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_00: Does anyone want it?
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_00: And then you start wondering, why haven't they bought yet?
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_00: Do I need to change everything?
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_00: Is a message not hitting?
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_00: Is it off?
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_00: Is something wrong with me?
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_00: Something wrong with the offer?
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_00: And that bird feeder was such a good reminder for me that my job is to create the conditions, to put the thing out there, to make the invitation, to keep showing up, and filling the seed with the best seed, and giving it enough space to actually work.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: And there's another thing I've been learning actually, another synchronicity that has come up for me with nature around the other side of self-trust.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_00: There is this tree in my backyard, this beautiful maple tree that has been slowly dying over many years, long before we moved in, but it became quite clear over the last three years that we've been in this home.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_00: So we brought in the expert to come look at it, an arborist, and we learned that actually one of its roots has essentially wrapped itself around the trunk at the base of the tree, the base of the trunk of the tree.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_00: And it's been literally choking itself out pretty much its entire life, which is so sad to think about.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_00: And if you have ever had to say goodbye to a tree, it honestly brings me back to like childhood and another story of another tree that had to come down.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_00: And it's a hard loss to lose something that you put a lot of value in that has been around for a long time.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_00: My brother reminded me just about how it's hard for us to see trees die because they live so much longer than us.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_00: So it doesn't feel like something that we should experience in our lifetime.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I have been thinking about this a lot and talking to the tree and oh, I'm I'm going there today.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't talk to trees, then you're missing out.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I've been thinking about this image of the the root of this tree that is literally choking it out.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's technically a key part of this tree, a part that is supposed to fuel it and make it stronger and anchor it and support it.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_00: And it's become the very thing that's preventing its growth, that's preventing it from thriving.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_00: And so that made me reflect and ask: where am I doing that in my own life and business?
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: Where am I continuing to invest energy in something that has already passed its expiry date?
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_00: Where am I holding on to one way of working because it once served me?
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_00: Where am I holding on to a goal because I decided years ago that achieving it would mean something about me and my worth?
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_00: Where am I continuing to feed a strategy or a business model or relationship dynamic, an identity or version of myself that's actually choking out what wants to grow next?
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I think the question, the bigger question is where have we mistaken longevity for alignment?
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_00: Just because something has been a part of your life or your business for a long time, just because it worked in the past in another season, doesn't mean that it's meant to come with you into the next one.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_00: Just because something helped you grow and helped get you to where you are now doesn't mean that it's still gonna be needed to help you grow into what's next.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe it's actually blocking your growth.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's where this all comes full circle because sometimes we need the reminder of the bird feeder.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_00: We need to remember to have patience, we need to remember to trust, we need to stop questioning the seed every day and wondering if it's working.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes the tree needs to come down as hard as it is to admit and to let go of.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_00: And self-trust ultimately is knowing the difference between something that needs more time and something that has run its course.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_00: Which brings me back to where I started at the beginning of this episode and that friction.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe it's not that you are unmotivated.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's not that you are doing anything wrong.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you don't need another productivity hack or a different morning routine, or someone feeding you their formula for success.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe there's actually something in you that's trying to tell you that you have outgrown the way that you've been doing it.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe your definition of success has changed.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe the version of you who created the goal isn't the same version of you who is living your life and leading your business today.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe your job isn't to force yourself back into this old container, this old restrictive way of doing things.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe your job is actually to trust yourself enough to ask better questions.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_00: What does success actually mean to me now?
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_00: Not what's the metric I need to measure myself against in my industry?
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_00: Not what's successful look like on Instagram, not does what success look like for somebody that I follow online.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_00: And not even what does success look like for the version of me from five years ago, but to me now, my favorite self in this present moment.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_00: And so I hope if there's something you take away from this episode, you ask yourself if the thing that I am working toward, the manifestation, the goal that I'm working toward was already inevitable, how would I show up today?
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_00: What parts of the life that I say I want or the business that I say I want are actually already here?
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_00: And how can I focus on them and pour into my gratitude for them?
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_00: Where am I asking for proof when what I actually need is more self-trust?
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_00: Where am I looking for the next quick fix instead of just giving a little bit more space and time?
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_00: And what am I continuing to invest in that has already run its course?
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_00: Becoming your favorite self isn't about becoming someone who has all the answers.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_00: No, far from it.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_00: It is becoming someone who trusts herself enough to listen to her own inner dialogue, her own inner voice, her own inner wisdom.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_00: Someone who trusts herself to take the next step without needing the whole path laid out perfectly in front of her.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_00: Someone who can appreciate what is here already while still nurturing her desire for more.
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_00: Someone who can plant seeds and trust them to grow.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_00: Someone who is willing to let go when it's not working and you know it deep down that it's time.
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_00: So that's the invitation that I want to leave you with this week.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_00: Put out the bird feeder, let the tree come down, and just notice and pay attention to how much of the life and the business that you have been working toward is already happening around you.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_00: And trust yourself enough to know what it needs and what wants to grow next.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's it for today.
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'll see you next week.
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to the Favorite Self podcast.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_00: If this episode stirred something in you, there's a reason for it.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_00: You could take a moment to share with a friend, someone who's also building something brave, that would mean so much to me.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_00: Better yet, leave a review.
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_00: It helps this message reach even more women who are ready to lead differently.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_00: And before you go, remember this your favorite self is already within you, waiting to be heard.
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_00: See you next time.