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Jim Steadman - How To Lead A Family With Integrity And Calmness · Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home

0:03
SPEAKER_01: Hi, I'm Riley.
0:04
SPEAKER_01: And I'm Ryder.
0:05
SPEAKER_01: And this is my dad Joe.
0:12
SPEAKER_00: Hey everybody, it's KCJ Cox with the Quarterback Dadcast.
0:15
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to season seven.
0:16
SPEAKER_00: Can't wait for this season as there's a lot of great guests ahead.
0:20
SPEAKER_01: If you're new to this podcast, really it's simple.
0:22
SPEAKER_01: It's a podcast where we we interview dads, we learn about how they were raised, we learn about the life lessons that were important to them, we learn about the values that are important to them, and really we learn about how we can work hard to become a better quarterback or leader of our home.
0:35
SPEAKER_01: So let's sit back, relax, and listen to today's episode on the Quarterback Deckcast.
0:40
SPEAKER_01: Well hey everybody, it's Casey Jacks with the Quarterback Deckcast.
0:42
SPEAKER_01: We're in season seven, and I'm excited for our next guest is someone I met uh in my travels in uh this in this crazy first start of the quarter.
0:51
SPEAKER_01: Um we're recording in almost April, this episode will come out soon.
0:55
SPEAKER_01: Um and I met him um at the uh staffing sales summit from put on by the fantastic account of Dan Morning.
1:01
SPEAKER_01: Uh grateful enough to have an opportunity to speak at that event.
1:04
SPEAKER_01: And uh one of the gentlemen I met was Ken M.
1:06
SPEAKER_01: Jim Sedman.
1:07
SPEAKER_01: He's the uh he's a Ute, okay Dev, he's an exec sales and operations leader at uh Your Employment Solutions Guest staffing.
1:14
SPEAKER_01: He's the Spartan raised beast.
1:17
SPEAKER_01: He looks like the um looks like a robot right now if you can't see him, but he has this fantastic brace on.
1:22
SPEAKER_01: He's just jacked before his biceps.
1:24
SPEAKER_01: He's convinced, he swore to his doctor that he would not do 100 push-ups a day compare the other one.
1:30
SPEAKER_01: Uh joking aside, that's not why we're having him on today.
1:32
SPEAKER_01: We're gonna learn about Jim the Dad, how he's working hard to continually be that quarterback or leader of his household.
1:38
SPEAKER_01: So further ado, Mr.
1:39
SPEAKER_01: Stebman, welcome to the quarterback.
1:41
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
1:43
SPEAKER_01: Thank you for that intro.
1:45
SPEAKER_02: That was good.
1:46
SPEAKER_02: Excited to be here.
1:47
SPEAKER_02: Good intro.
1:48
SPEAKER_01: I mean, this I wish people had video because there was a smoke machine, and you just entered like like uh like on the main stage with the with the brace.
1:59
SPEAKER_01: Uh joking aside.
2:00
SPEAKER_01: So we always start out each episode gratitude.
2:02
SPEAKER_01: So tell me, what are you most grateful for as a dad today?
2:06
SPEAKER_02: You know, it uh ironically, right now I am just so grateful for help.
2:12
SPEAKER_02: I think it's an amazing thing we have bodies that actually heal themselves.
2:16
SPEAKER_02: And so learning, you know, having this full distal bicep pair.
2:20
SPEAKER_02: I'm walking through the process of working with very talented people to heal me.
2:24
SPEAKER_02: I am grateful to be healthy.
2:27
SPEAKER_01: Good one, ma'am.
2:27
SPEAKER_01: And I mean, it never gets well.
2:29
SPEAKER_01: I I do gratitude work every morning in a gratitude journal, and one of the things I always say is some of the same things, God, thanks for waking me up today.
2:35
SPEAKER_01: I'm grateful for my health.
2:37
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
2:38
SPEAKER_01: Um, what I'm grateful for is I had uh so those that know me or follow this journey, you know that are my daughter Riley, everybody told her ACL.
2:48
SPEAKER_01: She's just started walking on it last week.
2:51
SPEAKER_01: She's walking around the house without a brace and without a crutch, which is so cool to watch her do it.
2:56
SPEAKER_01: And in the last, we had decent weather on Saturday and then decent weather yesterday.
3:01
SPEAKER_01: So we went out and uh just I rebounded for her, which is one of my favorite things to do.
3:05
SPEAKER_01: And she just did like short form shots just with her, couldn't not moving, put weight in her leg too much, but just doing like so.
3:11
SPEAKER_01: We made a hundred form shots, and I was able to at least like two foot shots, but you know, rebounding and uh I love that time I get with her, and I was like, man, right, I'm gonna be you're gonna be gone to college here in like five, six months.
3:25
SPEAKER_01: Like I might need to see if mom wants to start shooting so I can rebound for her.
3:30
SPEAKER_01: But uh but it's gonna be uh it's gonna be tough.
3:34
SPEAKER_01: So yeah.
3:36
SPEAKER_01: Well, um, all right, bring me inside the Stedman huddle.
3:39
SPEAKER_01: You're you're playing quarterback.
3:40
SPEAKER_01: Tell me tell me about the members of the squad.
3:43
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
3:44
SPEAKER_02: The Stedman Huddle.
3:45
SPEAKER_02: Well, I have uh six children.
3:48
SPEAKER_02: Wow, okay.
3:49
SPEAKER_02: They're all married, uh happily married.
3:52
SPEAKER_02: Um my wife, uh amazing lady, a big part of uh these grown-up years.
3:59
SPEAKER_02: I actually traveled healthcare staffing, and so I just hope I can just tailgate along when she goes to heaven and get there with her.
4:06
SPEAKER_02: But we have six kids, uh four daughters and two sons, and we have 11 grandchildren with number 12 showing up in August.
4:16
SPEAKER_02: And so I thought I was busy with six kids and sports.
4:23
SPEAKER_02: It does not compare to what my calendar looks like with grandkids playing sports, but it's just an amazing, amazing opportunity to be once removed and watch, you know, not only your children, but watch your grandchildren and watch your children say, I used to do that.
4:46
SPEAKER_02: But that's uh that's in a nutshell, that's the huddle.
4:48
SPEAKER_01: Okay, and now is everybody in Utah?
4:51
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, gratefully, right now, uh everybody's in Utah.
4:55
SPEAKER_02: My youngest son, uh, really good chance.
4:58
SPEAKER_02: He's a high school uh football coach, and um he's got some opportunities, so we may be traveling in the future with his you know career.
5:08
SPEAKER_01: Very cool.
5:08
SPEAKER_01: And ages of grandchildren?
5:10
SPEAKER_03: They go from um 14 to 2.
5:16
SPEAKER_03: Wow, okay.
5:17
SPEAKER_02: Please don't ask me to name all the ages of 11 grandchildren.
5:23
SPEAKER_01: How about uh do you know do you remember the ages of your kids?
5:26
SPEAKER_01: Like how how those are on the spot?
5:29
SPEAKER_02: So my oldest son, um he turns 40.
5:33
SPEAKER_02: Uh my daughter's 38, and then 36, 34.
5:39
SPEAKER_02: Uh, we get to 29, and the youngest axe is 25.
5:47
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
5:48
SPEAKER_01: Um and as a so now as a so essentially you're an empty nester, you got grandkids, right?
5:55
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
5:55
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
5:56
SPEAKER_01: So tell me what's the biggest difference um you found in you watching your kids play sports versus your grandkids uh play sports.
6:07
SPEAKER_02: Uh the biggest difference is the self-reflection of you learn what you did wrong.
6:14
SPEAKER_02: Not that they're doing it wrong, but they do it better, and you're like, I wished I would have done that.
6:19
SPEAKER_02: And so so much of where I'm at in my stage of life, there's a lot of self-reflection of saying, I can make it up through my grandkids.
6:28
SPEAKER_02: I can't look in the rearview mirror.
6:30
SPEAKER_02: But that probably, Casey, the biggest thing is what I see greatness in and thought, I'm sure glad they uh they're better than me.
6:43
SPEAKER_01: What would be an example?
6:44
SPEAKER_01: Because I think there's a lot of younger dads I've had on recently that you know that I what I love when I get the chance to interview uh someone like yourself who has is you know on the grand on the grandkids phase of life, even myself, like what what are lessons that you've learned if you could go back in time and say, Man, I wish I would have done that differently.
7:03
SPEAKER_01: Maybe a younger dad we can help and learn from.
7:07
SPEAKER_02: So um very passionate father, um, high communicator, and uh probably the most recent is is is my youngest.
7:17
SPEAKER_02: He he's a high school football coach and he's a special team.
7:21
SPEAKER_02: And he was a kicker.
7:22
SPEAKER_02: And so the thing about a kicker, you're either the hero or you're the worst guy on the field.
7:28
SPEAKER_02: And so part of that challenge is is uh he worked so hard to make these kids great.
7:35
SPEAKER_03: And when they shank a field goal, you know, I was I reacted and I'm watching this young man step back, take a breath, and then go back and tell him he's off and just take a moment before he reacts.
7:57
SPEAKER_02: And that's something that uh I was just right in the middle of it.
8:01
SPEAKER_02: I mean, I watched the daughter shoot a foul shot and she missed, and I barked, you know, and it's like, man, just take a deep breath.
8:08
SPEAKER_02: And I'm also learning a lot of things too, is you know, especially when they're in the high school years, um there's nothing wrong with sleeping on things and coming back the next day and addressing it uh when you've had a chance to just self-reflect and come back without the emotion.
8:28
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's gold, my man.
8:29
SPEAKER_01: Um funny, that's the timely of you saying that is I just got off a uh a call with a client that I'm doing some executive work for and said I said the exact same advice that you just said because I you just gave me goosewomps.
8:42
SPEAKER_01: You know, I'm like, that's kind of serendipitous.
8:45
SPEAKER_01: Uh I mean that's it's so true.
8:46
SPEAKER_01: Do you do you find yourself you're less um passionate or intense?
8:51
SPEAKER_01: I'll I'll use the word intense, like as watching grandkids, or do you feel like you're so fiery?
8:55
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I'm right in there.
8:56
SPEAKER_02: Uh my oldest, my oldest daughter, we've we've got a grandson, he's 14, he's 6'4, plays quarterback, you know, and he's got coaches watching him.
9:07
SPEAKER_02: And we were at a football game last year, it was actually a playoff game, and my wife just smirked because I'm sitting next to my daughter.
9:15
SPEAKER_02: We're on the edge of the seat, you know, knees bouncing, just as intense, but I know it her son.
9:24
SPEAKER_02: And so the barking doesn't happen, but the intensity, I don't know if it leaves you.
9:30
SPEAKER_02: You just you want him to just do great things, you know?
9:32
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
9:33
SPEAKER_01: Oh, it's so fun.
9:34
SPEAKER_01: I can't that's gonna be fun to experience that.
9:37
SPEAKER_01: And um yeah, I I I have a 20-year-old, uh, almost 20-year-old, and almost 18-year-old.
9:45
SPEAKER_01: So I'm gonna be empty nest here in like six months, which is just a trip.
9:49
SPEAKER_01: I can't but I cannot freaking believe that.
9:51
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, just all the cliches, as you I know.
9:53
SPEAKER_01: Well, you you know, they time goes by so fast, it's a trip.
9:56
SPEAKER_01: I just turned 50.
9:57
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, what the hell?
9:58
SPEAKER_01: How'd that happen?
10:00
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
10:01
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
10:03
SPEAKER_01: Um, all right.
10:04
SPEAKER_01: Well, bring me back to what was life like growing up for you, Jim.
10:07
SPEAKER_01: I'm I want to learn more about what that was like for you and talk about the impact that mom and dad had on you from a values perspective.
10:14
SPEAKER_02: Um, so I grew up, I was uh I had two older sisters, and I was the oldest son.
10:19
SPEAKER_02: There were they had uh two girls and four boys, and so I was the older son, and so they they uh definitely did some experimenting and learning how to be parents with the two older ones.
10:30
SPEAKER_02: And so when I came aboard as the boy, um it was it was really good.
10:37
SPEAKER_02: Uh they both uh challenged me in different ways.
10:40
SPEAKER_02: My dad had a quiet assurance, he was just a quiet man, but very, very uh passionate.
10:47
SPEAKER_02: He coached me a lot.
10:49
SPEAKER_02: Uh, my mother uh is she's the one you can hear in the stand, you know, hooting and hollering, you know, complaining to the ump or the ref, you know, that that person.
10:59
SPEAKER_02: And the cool thing is, is we just we were very simple people.
11:03
SPEAKER_02: My dad was a blue-collar electrician.
11:06
SPEAKER_02: Um, and there are times when I rode around with him and worked with him, and he had his own business at one point in time.
11:13
SPEAKER_02: And then my rent, my mother, when she turned 40 and the kids were growing, she started running marathons.
11:19
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
11:20
SPEAKER_02: And so we'd find ourselves uh now.
11:22
SPEAKER_02: I'm not a marathon runner, and you've seen you know, my frame.
11:27
SPEAKER_02: There's nothing here that says running, uh, but uh, we'd run 10Ks, and so we'd get up in the morning and go run and just talk about life.
11:34
SPEAKER_02: And so I was very, very involved and interactive with my parents, you know.
11:39
SPEAKER_02: I I I trusted them.
11:41
SPEAKER_02: Um, my father just was wise, and it was just an interesting thing, Casey.
11:47
SPEAKER_02: I would just go to him and just say, Here's all the problems of the world.
11:52
SPEAKER_02: And he would just you just think about it and just come back, and he was just a wise.
11:57
SPEAKER_02: So I had a great child's family, and they challenged me to do hard things, um, and we did.
12:05
SPEAKER_02: Big family.
12:06
SPEAKER_01: Now are mom and dad still with us?
12:08
SPEAKER_02: Uh my father passed away of Alzheimer's 14 years ago.
12:13
SPEAKER_02: Mom still, uh she runs 5K's.
12:16
SPEAKER_02: She goes down in southern Utah, they called up the Huntsman Senior Games, and she shows off her medals every year.
12:22
SPEAKER_02: And uh she uh in fact, she's uh she's my biggest she's my biggest coach and sponsor for the Spartan race.
12:30
SPEAKER_02: So actually in July, whether I run it or not, depending upon my surgery, um, we're gonna go up and just kind of relive those fun days.
12:40
SPEAKER_01: So cool.
12:41
SPEAKER_01: Well, we have that we have something in common already.
12:43
SPEAKER_01: My my dad passed away December 29th, 2021, um, of many things, but one of them was dementia and Alzheimer's.
12:50
SPEAKER_01: So um we we we share that we share that in common, which um sorry about your your pops.
12:55
SPEAKER_01: Um not an easy thing to go through.
12:58
SPEAKER_01: Um so how if if you if you mind me sharing, we don't hate to air your mom, but how how old young is she?
13:04
SPEAKER_01: 82.
13:05
SPEAKER_01: 82 and still running.
13:06
SPEAKER_01: Let's go.
13:07
SPEAKER_01: What an inspiration.
13:09
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I actually uh posted um my mom used to always say the race is not only to the Swift, but to those who keep on running.
13:17
SPEAKER_02: And I actually posted that on LinkedIn because I still it still resonates with me.
13:21
SPEAKER_02: And we ran a race one time, and I was, you know, a high school senior, you know, just everything that that involves.
13:30
SPEAKER_02: And she said, Hey, come and run a race with me.
13:32
SPEAKER_02: And I just hurt, I mean, I I didn't prepare for it, I didn't ask for it.
13:37
SPEAKER_02: Uh anyway, she I would always I I ran 10Ks with her and I just beat her because I was young, I thought I was a better runner.
13:44
SPEAKER_02: But this race, she caught up with me and she's like, What is going on?
13:48
SPEAKER_02: And I just complained, I didn't feel good.
13:50
SPEAKER_02: It there was a lot of heels.
13:52
SPEAKER_02: Uh and she just said, You think everybody else is having a fun race?
13:56
SPEAKER_02: Uh you think this is easy for everybody?
13:58
SPEAKER_02: She said, and she she passed me, she said, find another gear and finish.
14:04
SPEAKER_02: You know, and she was just that kind of lady.
14:06
SPEAKER_02: Uh and so it was cool.
14:09
SPEAKER_02: Good memory.
14:10
SPEAKER_01: Where do you think her intensity and my tough mindset comes from?
14:15
SPEAKER_02: You know, she um uh she grew up very poor.
14:19
SPEAKER_02: Uh uh, she she I mean she had Christmases to where she would get a doll and it's like that used to be at the neighbor's house, you know?
14:28
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
14:29
SPEAKER_02: And so she's always worked hard uh to to just uh better herself and be her better best.
14:35
SPEAKER_02: And so when she got done raising kids, uh it was time for her to actually say, I want to do something and and and just you know, life's not over without kids.
14:47
SPEAKER_02: And so I don't know, she just had this everything she has to she has a drive with her, and so she started running and ran to Boston and did a bunch of stuff like that.
14:57
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
14:58
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
14:59
SPEAKER_01: Has she thought ever done like those ultras crazy long races, the ultra marathon stuff?
15:04
SPEAKER_02: She hasn't.
15:05
SPEAKER_02: She, I think once I mean she was running a lot of races, Casey, and at one point in time, I think she just said, I I need to slow down, you know.
15:16
SPEAKER_03: Man, 82, still running.
15:18
SPEAKER_03: Pretty impressive.
15:19
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
15:21
SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm now a I well, I guess I'm gonna air myself out here.
15:25
SPEAKER_01: I'm now 50, but I'm more of like an incline speedwalk guy now.
15:31
SPEAKER_01: Just because my back uh from all the football days, and I've learned that for me the most important fitness for me is be able to play golf.
15:41
SPEAKER_01: I want to be able to play golf.
15:42
SPEAKER_01: And if I'm doing this how I used to lift workout, like my 30s, I still do like speed like CrossFit type stuff, but it's like called old man CrossFit where I just don't want to get hurt.
15:53
SPEAKER_02: Well, it's interesting you say that, Casey.
15:55
SPEAKER_02: Uh, and I agree.
15:56
SPEAKER_02: So I'm I'm 63, you know, and um on my 60th birthday, I was actually having an annual physical, and the doctor was kind of going through my blood work, and I I just said, hey, time out.
16:08
SPEAKER_02: Let's just pretend I'm a sixth grader, let's go back to this blood work and explain it in non-medical terms.
16:14
SPEAKER_02: And I'm really a good friend of his.
16:16
SPEAKER_02: And uh he just said, Okay, well, let me just put you this way you keep the lifestyle you have right now, you're like, I need to get you on some prescriptions, and uh just things aren't looking good.
16:27
SPEAKER_02: And we I do have diabetes, and so and I just said, What's the option?
16:32
SPEAKER_02: And he's like, Well, there's an option, most people won't do it.
16:37
SPEAKER_02: And so we talked about you know, nutrition and strength training and that, and I said, I'll see you in four months, and that's been my journey, and so I'm like, for you, it's the same thing.
16:48
SPEAKER_02: I know I have a window of Spartan races, and then it's over, and I love Spartan races because when I lay my pillow on my head at night, I'm like, I am terrified for that next race.
17:00
SPEAKER_02: It's it's it's hard, but I know that, and it's also fun, but I know Casey, there's a moment in time like Spartan race is over, and I have to find something else.
17:11
SPEAKER_02: Uh I'm both knees are bone on bone.
17:13
SPEAKER_02: I got a little left hip issue.
17:15
SPEAKER_02: Uh my physical therapy are good friends and you know, biceps there now.
17:19
SPEAKER_02: But I think everybody should have something that they're saying.
17:23
SPEAKER_02: It it makes me a little uneasy, but I have to stay really focused to do it, whether it's personal or professional.
17:31
SPEAKER_02: And so personally, even professionally, that Spartan race just has a fear to it that just I like, you know.
17:40
SPEAKER_01: It's that it's a feeling you're chasing that growth feeling.
17:43
SPEAKER_01: That feel, you know.
17:44
SPEAKER_01: I I have a phrase I told my clients, you said we can be we can be comfortable in the sidelines or uncomfortable in the game.
17:49
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I love that.
17:50
SPEAKER_02: That's so true.
17:52
SPEAKER_01: You know, it's like it's easier to, you know, and even though I'm not doing what I'm doing, I used to do, I still I still I'm still you know inclined to 10 and and pushing myself through that and sit-ups, push-ups, doing strength training.
18:09
SPEAKER_01: Uh is it what I wanted to do?
18:11
SPEAKER_01: No, but it's better than nothing.
18:13
SPEAKER_01: And I'm moving.
18:14
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
18:14
SPEAKER_02: I agree.
18:15
SPEAKER_02: I think you know, people say, man, Jim, you're crazy.
18:17
SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, everybody has their crazy.
18:20
SPEAKER_02: You know, everybody has their crazy to where you need to push yourself to some degree, and maybe it's not physically, but there's something.
18:27
SPEAKER_02: I have a brother who's um learning a language, and he has it happen every day, man.
18:32
SPEAKER_02: He just works, just learning the language.
18:35
SPEAKER_02: Everybody should have something to push them that just motivates them to say, no comfort zone today.
18:41
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
18:42
SPEAKER_01: Did you ever have that?
18:44
SPEAKER_01: Um, I guess was that mindset something you've always had, even back to early uh days as a dad?
18:50
SPEAKER_02: It's very much instilled in me from my childhood.
18:53
SPEAKER_02: And so I did have that mindset.
18:54
SPEAKER_02: I I would have my kids, I had uh uh, I mean, if they played basketball and it was in the wintertime, I'd pull the car out in the driveway and and in the in the garage, I'm like, practice your dribbling skills, practice your passing skills against the wall.
19:09
SPEAKER_02: I mean, always always try and perfect your game.
19:12
SPEAKER_02: And so there was there's always been something there to just say you can always be a little bit better.
19:17
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
19:17
SPEAKER_01: 100%.
19:19
SPEAKER_01: Um, back to mom and dad.
19:21
SPEAKER_01: So you had there's six, so two sisters, three brothers, and you.
19:25
unknown: Yeah.
19:25
SPEAKER_01: Is that correct?
19:26
SPEAKER_01: Um if you had to think about like two or three values that really were like cemented in my mom and dad, um that still impact you to this day.
19:34
SPEAKER_03: Tell me what what comes to mind.
19:36
SPEAKER_04: Um honesty.
19:41
SPEAKER_02: Uh my dad ran a business, and he could he could have done a lot of so honesty and integrity were would be the first two.
19:49
SPEAKER_02: Everything they did, and that's why people love to work with my dad in his business.
19:55
SPEAKER_02: Um and then I I don't know the best way to say it, but uh my mother ran a um a community college campus and she has a high school diploma.
20:09
SPEAKER_02: And so everything there were there was no boundaries to what she felt she could do.
20:14
SPEAKER_02: And so honesty, integrity, and then just do exceed your expectation, work harder than you you think you can.
20:23
SPEAKER_01: Do you think it's a little bit of um there's obviously a sign behind me that's that people can't see it, but people know me, but belief?
20:28
SPEAKER_01: Think it's like instilling belief in you in the kids.
20:31
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
20:32
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
20:33
SPEAKER_01: I think that's one of the most undervalued words that parents don't think about enough.
20:38
SPEAKER_01: I I didn't really learn that hardcore word.
20:42
SPEAKER_01: Like I I treated it so um so intently.
20:47
SPEAKER_01: Now, and but at age 41, that really impacted me.
20:49
SPEAKER_01: And I put in my one of my daughter's teammates, uh that I remember one of the two days after my daughter got hurt, we're up in her her room, and one of my favorite moments of my daughter's high school career where like two of her teammates came on and just checked and they spent two hours with her.
21:04
SPEAKER_01: And this girl was she's a really good player, she's probably gonna play in college somewhere, probably pretty, pretty big.
21:09
SPEAKER_01: And but she just was kind of inconsistent at times.
21:12
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
21:13
SPEAKER_01: And you could see it just confidence.
21:14
SPEAKER_01: And I remember asking her, I said, Hey, you you believe in yourself?
21:17
SPEAKER_01: I said, Yeah, I go.
21:18
SPEAKER_01: No, I'm gonna ask, like, do you really believe in yourself?
21:20
SPEAKER_01: Well, yeah, I kinda, I go, see, the word you said kinda, like that's that's the problem.
21:26
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, uh, everyone in the gym knows that you're the biggest, one of the biggest, fastest, strongest, most talented people out there, but but you.
21:33
SPEAKER_01: And uh I one of the guys I interviewed early in this journey, he said that confidence is truly built with one person inside the home, one person outside the home.
21:41
SPEAKER_01: And so your parents can believe in you, but sometimes it's nice when someone else outside the home believes you in.
21:46
SPEAKER_01: So I'm I'm hopeful that like when my kids become parents or um anybody, just it's like you you just remember that like when you can get people to believe in themselves and believe in something bigger than.
22:00
SPEAKER_01: themselves and believe they're gonna achieve something.
22:02
SPEAKER_01: Like, why not?
22:04
SPEAKER_01: You know?
22:06
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
22:07
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
22:08
SPEAKER_01: I just I don't want them on my soapbox there, but no, it it is so true.
22:12
SPEAKER_02: My my oldest daughter Karis was a swimmer and she could swim the fly.
22:17
SPEAKER_02: And you know, for me as a father, uh the most painful thing to do is to sit through a swimming meet when you watch 30 seconds of a race and then you wait an hour.
22:27
SPEAKER_02: So I'd always go down to the blocks and say, I'll be a timer.
22:30
SPEAKER_02: You know, just let me time, you know.
22:32
SPEAKER_02: And I remember one time she was in my block, you know, and she was just kind of stepping up, and I just said to her, I said, You do understand you're a better swimmer than anybody here.
22:45
SPEAKER_03: She's like, Really?
22:47
SPEAKER_03: Really, Dad?
22:48
SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, and they want to beat you, and you are a better swimmer.
22:54
SPEAKER_02: Really?
22:55
SPEAKER_02: And you know, it just dawned on me you can't give them enough positive affirmations.
23:00
SPEAKER_02: They just, especially in those high school years, you know, and I just thought, wow, I'm not doing that enough.
23:07
SPEAKER_01: You know?
23:08
SPEAKER_01: Well, you the I and you're making me think of something I this timely of our conversation today, Jim is is kind of just I literally was talking about this with a client of my day about the difference between recognition and appreciation.
23:21
SPEAKER_01: I say recognition takes money, but appreciation just takes time.
23:25
SPEAKER_01: And we get going so fast in life, we don't say, hey, versus something as simple as like hus dads, hey, honey, thanks for on getting the dishes done for me.
23:34
SPEAKER_01: Or hey, thanks for doing laundry.
23:35
SPEAKER_01: I know that you were had a busy day too.
23:37
SPEAKER_01: Versus just wow, the the laundry genie, it's magic.
23:41
SPEAKER_01: It just got done.
23:43
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
23:44
SPEAKER_01: But even to your daughters, like that took you four seconds, 10 seconds to to be thoughtful and to be intentful and to show some appreciation and make her feel good.
23:56
SPEAKER_01: And then you've probably probably felt better as a dad by doing that because you saw her face expression, her reaction.
24:02
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
24:03
SPEAKER_01: But sometimes we just don't slow down enough to think about these things.
24:05
SPEAKER_01: But I hope that there's a younger dad, or maybe a dad with experience that's listening to it.
24:09
SPEAKER_01: It's like, you know what?
24:09
SPEAKER_01: Shoot, maybe that's a gap of mine.
24:11
SPEAKER_01: I maybe I'm not showing enough appreciation to my family.
24:13
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
24:14
SPEAKER_02: Um, yeah, you know, and Casey, and I believe God put me in that situation.
24:18
SPEAKER_02: He walked me down, you know, because I get bored cares of swim meet and put me where just so happened she was in my life, you know, and I had that opportunity.
24:29
SPEAKER_02: And I think there are a lot of opportunities I missed.
24:32
SPEAKER_02: That was one I was able to actually connect.
24:36
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's cool.
24:37
SPEAKER_01: And I visually I see I could see it when you were telling that story.
24:40
SPEAKER_01: So um okay, so honesty integrity.
24:43
SPEAKER_01: Can you think of a story that that comes to mind where you had to learn that maybe the hard way from mom and dad?
24:49
SPEAKER_02: So um we we had a worm business.
24:53
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
24:54
SPEAKER_02: We sold worms.
24:56
SPEAKER_02: So where our road was was on the way to the freeway.
25:02
SPEAKER_02: And so we sold nightcrawlers, and we had neighbors that had farm fields.
25:07
SPEAKER_02: And so when it rained, we'd just go and pull worms.
25:10
SPEAKER_02: And then dad built us a box, and so we had a sign out there, we sold nightcrawlers or worms, and and uh at the end of the day, we were it was just fishing season, and we had a guy come up, he goes, Do you have nightcrawlers?
25:25
SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, Yeah, and I'm I'm maybe 13 or 14, you know.
25:29
SPEAKER_02: He goes, Okay, do you have worms?
25:30
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, Yeah.
25:32
SPEAKER_02: He goes, Okay, I'll take five dozen nightcrawlers and five dozen worms.
25:37
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, okay, you know, so I went back there and I just putting everything together, and my dad's like, he wants ten dozen?
25:45
SPEAKER_02: He goes, Yeah, five nightcrawlers and five worms.
25:47
SPEAKER_02: And I go, and but and my dad's like, you told him you you can get five dozen nightcrawlers and five dozen worms?
25:54
SPEAKER_02: Like, yeah.
25:55
SPEAKER_03: I mean, are they the same thing?
25:57
SPEAKER_03: He's like, No, they're not.
26:00
SPEAKER_03: And so he walked back up with me and said, My son's got something to tell you.
26:07
SPEAKER_02: You know, and I had to say, I have no idea the difference, but I can get you ten dozen of something of one or the other, but I have no idea.
26:17
SPEAKER_02: And um, and so the guy said, Well, thanks for being honest, I'll take the ten dozen.
26:22
SPEAKER_02: And dad said, Um, and that'll be half the price.
26:27
SPEAKER_02: And so when we got done, he's like, There's nothing more important, you'll never meet this guy again, but you know, you know that you have no idea between a night calling or a worm, and he should know that you do so.
26:44
SPEAKER_02: That was uh kind of a hard lesson at a young age, telling a grown adult that I lied to him.
26:50
SPEAKER_01: Do you um you know being in business for as long as you have, and and and I think one of the things that stood out to me when we met was like, man, you have like high I high EQ, um, how you treat people was obviously which and I I'm always a I like I love talking to people like you because it's like you're filling my tank with um you know things that we mean that conversation we had that one day was around just you know trying to be the most humble, vulnerable, curious version of ourselves, and which I think is our life superpowers that many people leave dormant, which is I think a mistake.
27:21
SPEAKER_01: But um do you think about those types of stories often when you were in your corporate world or instilled your corporate world of like yeah, yeah.
27:30
SPEAKER_02: You want a story?
27:32
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I love stories.
27:33
SPEAKER_02: So I was in Kansas City.
27:35
SPEAKER_02: Uh I moved out there with the company, they acquired a company and it was struggling, so I went out there to turn things around and and I had this great manager, Dawn, up in North Kansas City, and uh she called and she was actually very emotional.
27:50
SPEAKER_02: She said, I think we lost one of our largest companies.
27:52
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, Okay, well, tell me about it.
27:57
SPEAKER_02: And she basically said, I picked him up for lunch, uh, you know, the decision maker.
28:02
SPEAKER_02: And then he said, Hey, I got the owner in town, can he come with?
28:05
SPEAKER_02: And so they did, and they were driving along, and she goes, I got this fun place, you know, we can go.
28:10
SPEAKER_02: And they said, Well, we would like to go to this place.
28:12
SPEAKER_02: And actually, it was a topless bar for lunch.
28:17
SPEAKER_02: And she just said, I'll tell you what, I've got reservations here, and so the conversation went back and forth, and they basically said, All right, well, just turn us around and we'll go back.
28:27
SPEAKER_02: You know, we're we we're we're okay not having lunch.
28:30
SPEAKER_02: So she called me, like, I did it.
28:33
SPEAKER_02: And I said, Don, you exactly did what I expected you to and what you should do.
28:39
SPEAKER_02: And you can go look in the mirror and be happy with yourself, right?
28:44
SPEAKER_02: Because you did you not only represented the company, you represented you.
28:49
SPEAKER_02: So quick, long story short, um we got that back in three weeks.
28:56
SPEAKER_02: The business there was more going on behind the scenes than we thought.
29:00
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
29:01
SPEAKER_02: That those two gentlemen, um, the the the our decision maker was fired because I guess there was a lot of things that were happening there.
29:08
SPEAKER_02: Long story short, she did the right thing, and the own the other owners came in and said, we want them back.
29:15
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
29:16
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I love stories like that.
29:18
SPEAKER_01: And I mean, those are stories that I think um how we get we shape our our kids, how we shape our employees.
29:25
SPEAKER_01: Um, I think until there's actually a story that can back it up, people feel like, oh, sometimes it just gets hearsay, but I love that you could pull on that just from conversations that we're we're having today.
29:36
SPEAKER_01: Um how often about when you were raising your kids, did these like the the the thoughts of honesty, integrity, and and belief, um how often did those values really impact your your kids to maybe give an example?
29:50
SPEAKER_02: I mean, it was just part of our life, you know, we're very much um Christian-based.
29:56
SPEAKER_02: So we're everything we do is very active and centered around um, you know, Jesus Christ.
30:00
SPEAKER_02: And so I think there was more of things that were done than said.
30:06
SPEAKER_02: You know, we read the scriptures, we did things, we went to church, but I think outside of that, it was just they watched and they viewed and they they did things.
30:15
SPEAKER_02: And uh I don't I can't think of a specific story.
30:19
SPEAKER_02: I just they were just good people and they were uh they had good work ethics, and we would always hear we just trust your kids.
30:27
SPEAKER_02: My my son at a very young age at in Kansas City worked at a grocery store and they just put them over a hold apart while still a high school kid because there was the trust, you know, there's the integrity, you know, and the work ethic.
30:40
SPEAKER_02: And so things like that were just really consistent with our kids.
30:45
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
30:46
SPEAKER_01: What now did your wife did she work or was she staying home?
30:51
SPEAKER_02: Um he was the domestic engineer, she managed six kids and a grown adult.
30:57
SPEAKER_02: So literally, we we were fortunate to have her be able to be home.
31:02
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
31:03
SPEAKER_01: What a gift.
31:04
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I know there's a lot of working moms out there that um that's a lot, that's a lot.
31:09
SPEAKER_01: So obviously they put pressure on themselves to do, and I think this is where us dads can really step up to, you know, just because we had a hard day, we had a hard, I think the hardest job in the world is that stay-at-home mom, your stay-at-home parent.
31:22
unknown: Yeah.
31:23
SPEAKER_01: They don't ever get a break.
31:24
SPEAKER_01: We we get breaks, we go to we get to go to lunch, we get to go hang out with uh someone at coffee.
31:28
SPEAKER_01: It's social.
31:30
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
31:31
SPEAKER_01: You know, and so I think there's um I you know when I was my when I left corporate, then my entrepreneurial things started kicking off.
31:37
SPEAKER_01: Um and then my wife actually went back to work.
31:41
SPEAKER_01: Uh I I was like more excited.
31:42
SPEAKER_01: I was like, kids, what a great opportunity for us to step up and make things easy on mom a little bit because like she was doing a lot.
31:49
SPEAKER_01: And she my wife's one of those women that just like sees she sees organizational opportunities to make things like amazing, but then you're like, really?
31:59
SPEAKER_01: And then what she does, you're like, oh, whoa.
32:01
SPEAKER_01: It's like a it's the most crazy skill set ever.
32:04
SPEAKER_01: Even like she did something for me in my own business now, like how I'm working like with coaching people.
32:09
SPEAKER_01: It she created a new document for me that seems basic, but like it it it totally speaks a new language to me.
32:15
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, oh my god, you're gonna make life easy.
32:16
SPEAKER_01: So I hope that there's dads out there that will take at least what you just said and and what I'm saying now is like to show appreciation for them, help help them out a little bit.
32:25
SPEAKER_02: But yeah, yeah, you know, my mom obviously decided to run.
32:30
SPEAKER_02: Um, my wife, um, she just I mean, she's got a workroom downstairs, she's got a couple surgers, she's got some sewing machines, she does in fact, she's actually delivering uh quilt to a grandchild today, and so she has that talent.
32:46
SPEAKER_02: She has people come over and say, fix this dress, you know, and things like that.
32:50
SPEAKER_02: And she has all the equipment to and I think that's her superpower.
32:56
SPEAKER_02: So when the house is empty and quiet, I'm like, she's down in her workroom, she's building something else out, and and they they you know, it it's not one-dimensional.
33:07
SPEAKER_02: I mean, raising kids is a parenthood.
33:09
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, but she also has those those desires and things to do outside of that.
33:15
SPEAKER_02: And since you know, the kids are gone, it's it's been able to even just expand and do what she wants.
33:21
SPEAKER_02: So during COVID, she was making masks for a local physician, you know, and just helping them out.
33:28
SPEAKER_02: So it's just there there's always something more than just my and your job and right being a mom.
33:36
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes you need to help them find that superpower.
33:38
SPEAKER_00: Hey everybody, it's Casey Jaccox with the quarterback dadcast.
33:41
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33:50
SPEAKER_00: So, as you know, we talk a lot about on the show about what it means to be intentional as dads, fathers, and leaders, about showing up when people are counting on us.
33:59
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34:04
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34:08
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34:09
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34:13
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34:16
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34:25
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34:30
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34:42
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34:53
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35:01
SPEAKER_00: Now, let's get back to today's episode.
35:03
SPEAKER_01: What was the well tell me the hardest part of transitioning to emptiness life for you and your wife?
35:10
SPEAKER_02: Well, I think my wife enjoyed, you know, uh uh, you know, gearing down a little bit, you know.
35:18
SPEAKER_02: I miss the noise.
35:20
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
35:21
SPEAKER_02: I miss the noise in the basement, you know, bringing all the kids down and every once in a while you hear glass break or something because they're horsing around.
35:29
SPEAKER_02: I miss that I gotta turn the TV up upstairs because the noise of laughter and fun and yelling, hollering.
35:37
SPEAKER_02: I miss that terribly.
35:39
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
35:41
SPEAKER_01: What um do you feel like that those the the Spartan races you've you've picked up at this later stage of life has helped kind of maybe fill that void of like keep the distracted and focused and move forward?
35:53
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, for sure.
35:55
SPEAKER_02: And then you know, it like I said, I think there's gonna be a point in time it's like something I'm already trying to think what's next, but it has been.
36:03
SPEAKER_02: It has it I do like a challenge.
36:05
SPEAKER_02: And there's an interesting thing when you turn 60, at least for me, is you can start to convince yourself you have to slow down, right?
36:16
SPEAKER_02: You know, I mean you just can't do the whole thing, and and so I think you can be more intelligent about how you do things, but you should always push it.
36:25
SPEAKER_02: And the Spartan races right now do that for me.
36:28
SPEAKER_02: They are a high motivator to wear my nutrition, you know.
36:33
SPEAKER_02: I mean, I pass up on a lot of good things I love, and just you know, strength training and cardio and sleep, and it just helps you stay what you need to be, is just focused and goal-driven, knowing that it'll change.
36:47
SPEAKER_02: You know, at one point in time I'll do knee replacement and that'll probably change everything.
36:50
SPEAKER_02: But until then, I uh yeah, I agree.
36:53
SPEAKER_02: I think so.
36:55
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
36:56
SPEAKER_01: Um, what do you have you ever asked your kids or grandkids um what they think of grandpa, the the the the change in fitness and appearance?
37:07
SPEAKER_02: I haven't.
37:08
SPEAKER_02: I haven't.
37:09
SPEAKER_02: Now they've commented um uh I I think it was Christmas time.
37:15
SPEAKER_02: Um we were all gathered, um gathered around opening presents, and uh and uh had a grandson say, Grandpa, you're ripped.
37:28
SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, No, I'm just grandpa, you know, I'm just grandpa, but I've never really asked.
37:33
SPEAKER_02: You know, I know they see it, I mean they see the brace.
37:36
SPEAKER_02: I mean, yeah, you know, they they know I've got an injury, but no, I've never really asked, Casey.
37:41
SPEAKER_01: I'm curious the impact it has on them, you know, because I think like when you see someone else working hard, I um uh you know, I I I hope that like you know, for our family, my wife and I, we we exercise um often, and it's even when we go on vacation, we're gonna be on vacation next week, we're gonna we're gonna exercise then.
38:00
SPEAKER_01: Umfortunately, my son can't go because he's in college, but my daughter will be with us and uh we'll exercise on vacation.
38:07
SPEAKER_01: It's like it's what we do.
38:09
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
38:09
SPEAKER_01: Um, she'll be doing PT with us, and I'm like, that's what we do.
38:12
SPEAKER_01: And so I think I bet you're setting a huge example for for them, just knowing that this is a way of life.
38:19
SPEAKER_01: And um, I guess actually, you made me think of something that's had have your kids or grandkids ever done a Spartan race with you?
38:26
SPEAKER_02: Well, I did the Spartan race because my oldest daughter, Karis, did one three years ago.
38:31
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
38:31
SPEAKER_02: And I actually went and just brought water bottles and I actually hiked up the hill.
38:35
SPEAKER_02: It was at a uh ski resort here in Utah.
38:38
SPEAKER_02: I just watched her with her friends, and that's really I mean, like two years ago, that's I decided I'm gonna do that.
38:46
SPEAKER_02: Uh so each one of them in their own way, um find those things, and and she's got four kids and she's busy in that, but she still, I mean, she gives me, she'll she'll text me and say, Hey, here's a new lifting technique that I just learned.
39:00
SPEAKER_02: Um But I also that the cool thing is I watch my other kids with their kids, you know, challenge them and push them a little bit far.
39:10
SPEAKER_02: And that's what's great about a grandpa is you know capabilities, and you're watching your child take their child and just say, a little bit more.
39:19
SPEAKER_02: You're not you can do more.
39:21
SPEAKER_02: And so those are the really cool moments of watching that, you know, or they lost a game, you know, I got a grandson trying out wrestling, and he just got his butt whooped.
39:32
SPEAKER_02: You know, and they're over there just like, okay, no big deal, next one, you know, we'll do it again.
39:37
SPEAKER_02: And I think that's I hope there was a little bit of me that I something I did in some small way that that that's part of their DNA too.
39:47
SPEAKER_01: How often do you and your wife reflect on that?
39:49
SPEAKER_01: Like things you things you're proud of that you made an impact on your kids.
39:56
SPEAKER_02: It's funny because um quite often because we go to ball games and we see just great.
40:02
SPEAKER_02: I mean, we see so much of just pushing themselves child and grandchild that we'll drive home and think, like a couple Saturdays ago we went to sick games.
40:15
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
40:16
SPEAKER_02: You know, so it was all day long.
40:17
SPEAKER_02: We left the house at 7 30, got home at 3, and and Casey, we're just we're driving home like what an amazing day.
40:23
SPEAKER_02: What remember this and remember this, and just it it's such a self-reflect.
40:28
SPEAKER_02: But the other thing cool is is they're better than us.
40:33
SPEAKER_02: And that's what's that's what we talk most about.
40:35
SPEAKER_02: Man, just look at the qualities that they have.
40:38
SPEAKER_02: In what way?
40:39
SPEAKER_02: Well, just how they um in a number of different ways.
40:43
SPEAKER_02: I see what how we raised our kids.
40:46
SPEAKER_02: I'm watching them raising their kids even a little bit better, uh, even a little bit more engaging, you know.
40:52
SPEAKER_02: Um, they fine-tune, they fine-tune how to be a better parent.
40:57
SPEAKER_02: And I think part of that is is they see there's the good things that dad did, but then there's things it's like, I'm not gonna do that.
41:04
SPEAKER_02: And so win or lose, most of them coach the kids.
41:09
SPEAKER_02: And so what I'm seeing is is that still fundamental honesty and integrity, and push yourself and and help them believe that they can do more than what they're doing.
41:19
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, um, we see that a lot, and that's a lot of self-reflection.
41:22
SPEAKER_02: We were talking about that actually two weekends ago, that uh my son coaches soccer, and it's like these kids at a young age actually know their positions, they're not chasing a ball anymore, and they know their position, and so he is just that next level.
41:40
SPEAKER_02: I'd just be like, well, try and kick the ball in the goal.
41:42
SPEAKER_02: And JJ is like, no, let's plan, let's figure this out.
41:46
SPEAKER_02: That's what I see that is so cool.
41:50
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
41:51
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's what's that's what's fun about.
41:53
SPEAKER_01: I think when you can, I mean, I think it's a lot of humility to say those things for you.
41:56
SPEAKER_01: So I appreciate you saying that, and I hope that it it humbles dads out there because that's kind of the three I mentioned earlier, the three values really drive me in my life is trying to be the most humble, vulnerable, and curious version of myself.
42:07
SPEAKER_01: Those are things I work with my clients on, and I've seen them change cultures.
42:11
SPEAKER_01: I've seen them, I think when those when those skills are present, fear goes away.
42:18
SPEAKER_01: Um, people are not afraid to like not afraid to speak up.
42:20
SPEAKER_01: And um, so I I think you're doing an awesome job of this, Jim.
42:25
SPEAKER_01: Um, if you had to reflect back on like an air your dad game that you said, man, I wish I could go back and take this back, or I wish that maybe you can help a younger dad out there that that might might go down the same path, or um, you know, you're just like maybe coaching yourself at 63 to your whatever age you were when you first became a kid uh a dad.
42:45
SPEAKER_01: Like, what would what would be the the one thing you'd say to yourself um that again be can be from reflection but also can help a younger dad at home?
42:54
SPEAKER_03: Boy, that's a tough question.
42:57
SPEAKER_03: Because there's a lot, you know.
42:59
SPEAKER_03: When he got Alzheimer's, um I was one of the only children he remembered.
43:06
SPEAKER_03: So he was in a BA and he always remembered me.
43:10
SPEAKER_02: It was cool because he was in the military.
43:12
SPEAKER_02: And when I'd walk in, the the whole group would stand up and salute me like I was a general.
43:19
SPEAKER_02: And there were times that I was saying things, and we were just I mean, I was just trying to catch him, you know, things I didn't say, and he just didn't.
43:29
SPEAKER_02: And so I I don't know if there's anything specific other than there are promptings.
43:36
SPEAKER_02: You gotta, you gotta be you gotta take those promptings and do it.
43:40
SPEAKER_02: And so just telling him thanks, telling him I love you, it was too cool.
43:47
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you know, I was just there's too too much bravado there.
43:51
SPEAKER_02: And so when I was saying it, I have a father who's as Alzheimer, and he's just smiling and happy.
43:57
SPEAKER_02: And I was there the night before he passed.
44:00
SPEAKER_02: Way and we were just talking.
44:01
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, I don't know if it remembers.
44:03
SPEAKER_02: And you're like, man, if you could rewind, there's nothing significant.
44:07
SPEAKER_02: It's the day-to-day, the in the out.
44:09
SPEAKER_02: Thanks, Dad.
44:10
SPEAKER_02: Uh great job.
44:12
SPEAKER_02: Sure appreciate that.
44:14
SPEAKER_02: Thanks for being there.
44:15
SPEAKER_02: You know, stuff like that.
44:17
SPEAKER_02: Just really simple day-to-day things.
44:18
SPEAKER_02: Because here's the thing is when he was passing away, we were we were gathered around.
44:26
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
44:27
SPEAKER_02: We didn't remember Disneyland.
44:29
SPEAKER_02: What we remembered is he was there.
44:32
SPEAKER_02: He was in the stand.
44:33
SPEAKER_02: And it was funny because I played football, you know, or I was running.
44:36
SPEAKER_02: You look for him.
44:38
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
44:39
SPEAKER_02: You just want him there.
44:40
SPEAKER_02: And that alone, I never said thing.
44:44
SPEAKER_02: That's a big deal.
44:45
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
44:46
SPEAKER_02: You want that anchor in your life, like he's there.
44:48
SPEAKER_03: You know?
44:51
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
44:52
SPEAKER_03: It's um I man's powerful.
44:56
SPEAKER_01: I do you find that that that experience um has um continues to shape you or sharpen you as a grandfather now to your kids and grandkids of how like how you communicate with them?
45:09
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I it's it's definitely something to where they need to hear that they're good or they did a great job, even if they lose, you know.
45:17
SPEAKER_02: I mean, I mean, especially as they get older and they're more competitive.
45:21
SPEAKER_02: And being once removed, they look at grandpa's differently, but it doesn't stop you from just saying, You did amazing.
45:29
SPEAKER_02: You know, uh dance recital just a couple weeks ago.
45:31
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, I just can't believe how amazing some of my granddaughters are.
45:36
SPEAKER_02: They need to hear that.
45:37
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
45:37
SPEAKER_02: You know, little simple things like that.
45:39
SPEAKER_02: I asked, I told Emmy, I said, why is it every time I see you, you're prettier than before?
45:45
SPEAKER_02: And you know what?
45:46
SPEAKER_02: They need to hear that because they're not hearing that.
45:49
SPEAKER_02: Uh I mean, mom and dad say it, but outside of home, they don't get that.
45:52
SPEAKER_02: And so I'm not home.
45:55
SPEAKER_02: So it's not normal for me to say that, but little things like that, I just try and do.
46:00
SPEAKER_02: Fall short by trying to do that.
46:02
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's great.
46:03
SPEAKER_01: Um, have you ever heard the uh a guy named Bruce Brown who wrote an article about the car ride home?
46:10
SPEAKER_02: No, Bruce Brown, the car ride home.
46:12
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's just if you Google it, they'll be, it'll come up.
46:14
SPEAKER_01: Um, he is a fantastic human being.
46:17
SPEAKER_01: I actually had him on my podcast a few years ago.
46:19
SPEAKER_01: He's a very, very talented speaker.
46:22
SPEAKER_01: He's he's coached hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of um athletic directors, top coaches, um I mean, like high-level coaches at NFL or or college.
46:33
SPEAKER_01: And he uh one of the articles he wrote was about the car ride home, which talked about, you know, when mommy and daddy get little Billy in the car, they just torch him on the way home.
46:44
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
46:45
SPEAKER_01: And what he teaches uh timeless advice, um, what he teaches parents is just to say, Man, I love watching you play.
46:53
SPEAKER_01: And that's it.
46:54
SPEAKER_01: And they say, if your kid cares and he or she really wants to get better, they're gonna come to you.
47:01
SPEAKER_01: And that's why they they they did all this like data on it, and they interviewed thousands of like high school college pro athletes, and they said, What's your best memory?
47:10
SPEAKER_01: Uh, what's your best memory and your worst memory?
47:12
SPEAKER_01: And the worst memory, the number one of the number one answers was carried home.
47:17
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
47:18
SPEAKER_01: The best, the best reason, and they the best reason was they would love grandma and grandpa to come because grandma-grandpa would just say, I love watching you play.
47:25
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
47:26
SPEAKER_01: And you know, and so like uh I tr I tried it, I tested it when my when like my son was like probably seven or eight, because I had heard about this article before I met Bruce.
47:36
SPEAKER_01: I was like, Oh my god, I'm meeting the dude that I read this article.
47:39
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I remember my son, like when he's like seven or eight, had an air at like short, you know, and I'm like, oh dude, you always make that play in my mind.
47:46
SPEAKER_01: I'm I wanted to like get into him.
47:47
SPEAKER_01: Like, what do you come on, bro?
47:49
SPEAKER_01: And uh I said, Man, loved watching you compete, love seeing the red face.
47:52
SPEAKER_01: Tried your best.
47:54
SPEAKER_01: And uh, you know, he get he goes he's yeah, but I made the air.
47:58
SPEAKER_01: I go, Did you did you wake up saying I can't wait, wait to make this air?
48:02
SPEAKER_01: Well, no, I said, Dad, bag it, bud, the mistakes are gonna happen.
48:05
SPEAKER_01: I said, you know, let's let's you know school get some ice cream, whatever.
48:08
unknown: Yeah.
48:09
SPEAKER_01: Two days later, he's like, Why, you know, why do you think that happened?
48:11
SPEAKER_01: And like he started to ask me questions about it because we created space for him not to be so defeated.
48:18
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
48:19
SPEAKER_01: And um, you know, I I I just have always loved that approach.
48:23
SPEAKER_01: Um, it's maybe not right for everybody, but um, you're kind of doing what he writes about, like, you know, encouraging and being that person.
48:31
SPEAKER_01: It's not you're not being a Pollyanna and being naive.
48:34
SPEAKER_01: Like you're you still will give feedback from time to time, but I think sometimes just when we can keep our kids confident and you teach resilience through the ups and downs, but like keep them confident, it's uh pretty powerful.
48:46
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
48:47
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, the world doesn't give much confidence, you know, in a lot of ways.
48:51
SPEAKER_02: You know, it's it's so they gotta get it somewhere.
48:54
SPEAKER_02: And you know, back to self-reflecting when you know dad was passing away, those were the things we talked about.
49:02
SPEAKER_02: It wasn't like I say, it wasn't Disneyland.
49:04
SPEAKER_02: It was like he was just there and he said this, and those are the things that anchor them.
49:10
SPEAKER_02: You know, they remember that.
49:11
SPEAKER_02: I mean, I still remember that race when at high school find another gear and finish the race.
49:17
SPEAKER_02: You know, and we it's just stuff like that that you remember, those simple little lines.
49:22
SPEAKER_01: Yep.
49:23
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean that's that's what's uh that's the best part about memories, they're yours forever.
49:28
SPEAKER_01: No one can take them.
49:29
SPEAKER_01: No one can take them from you.
49:31
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
49:32
SPEAKER_01: Um what if you were if you were to summarize things we've talked about today, Jim, that moms or dads or grandpas can listen to or that that can summarize kind of the the theme of what we talked about, they can say, Man, I I've learned A, B, and C that I can apply my own life to maybe be a better leader or or quarterback of my family.
49:51
SPEAKER_01: Um, tell me what comes to mind.
49:54
SPEAKER_02: Um so here's a here here's one thing.
49:58
SPEAKER_02: Um we live in a world with so much technology.
50:02
SPEAKER_02: You know, and and technology has micromanaged everything we do.
50:07
SPEAKER_02: And and and that's not a bad thing because there's a lot of a lot of good in helping us to be effective and you know, and better parents and and so forth.
50:17
SPEAKER_02: But I think it's easy to lose the human factor, you know, and just send a text hey it's dad's birthday, happy birthday, dad.
50:25
SPEAKER_02: No, call it you know, and so if there is anything, you know, I grew up, you know, when the dinosaurs roamed the earth, so to say, to where there was the backlapse and the good jobs and all those kinds of things because we didn't have technology and so having technology, I think even myself you know, I have a my daughter, I just had a birthday, I called to be more intentional to make it more personal, send a card, send a note, you know, make a phone call, have that voice.
51:01
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, don't assume that text is okay.
51:04
SPEAKER_02: You know, just just be more intentional and be there for them in a way that technology actually can't replace.
51:13
SPEAKER_02: And so that would be probably the biggest thing that even for me, that's what I experienced the most.
51:19
SPEAKER_02: Just simple things.
51:20
SPEAKER_02: I mean four days after surgery, I get this thank you card.
51:24
SPEAKER_02: They referenced me, uh they referenced my wife's name, and they said, We look forward to hearing that you're back doing Spartan race.
51:33
SPEAKER_02: And this was just pre-op and post-op nurses and staff handwritten notes.
51:40
SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
51:40
SPEAKER_02: And it's I think we just we we can lose sight.
51:44
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, one thing I've always done is taken an hour on Friday and wrote thank you cards.
51:51
SPEAKER_02: Thank you cards back here.
51:52
SPEAKER_02: It's like I just need two or three thank you cards to somebody and just send them out and put it in the mail, put a stamp on it, and they open it up and there's something there.
52:01
SPEAKER_02: And so, if anything, don't let technology take rob you of the human touch, whether it's family or friends or a coworker.
52:12
SPEAKER_02: Don't let technology rob you of being human with them.
52:15
SPEAKER_01: Gold, man, man.
52:16
SPEAKER_01: That's um never never goes out of style.
52:20
SPEAKER_01: And it doesn't, it doesn't cut it's not like we're paying a quarter for putting them in the in the pay phone.
52:24
SPEAKER_01: You just you gotta take a little, be a little intentional, like you said.
52:27
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
52:28
SPEAKER_01: And uh the feeling that you create, this is what I call the my angelo moment, not what you said, why you said it.
52:32
SPEAKER_01: How do you make people feel?
52:34
SPEAKER_01: It's the best form of differentiation.
52:36
SPEAKER_01: It is.
52:37
SPEAKER_01: It's the best form of differentiation.
52:39
SPEAKER_01: So um I think it's fantastic advice.
52:42
SPEAKER_01: Um dads, hope you're taking notes like I am.
52:46
SPEAKER_01: I got a page full of notes.
52:47
SPEAKER_01: Um, Jim, I want to learn, I want to make sure people learn about um your employment solutions.
52:54
SPEAKER_01: Um yes, staffing.
52:56
SPEAKER_01: Talk about uh you, what your role is there, and how can people learn more about um learn more about the company you work for?
53:04
SPEAKER_02: Vice President Sales.
53:05
SPEAKER_02: So anything sales, and you know, staffing companies are sales organizations, and so I help influence operation sales.
53:13
SPEAKER_02: Um, we've got some good headwinds right now on staffing, and so we are a local Utah-based company.
53:19
SPEAKER_02: We're one of the oldest companies.
53:21
SPEAKER_02: Um we've been around for 30 years, the largest light industrial.
53:26
SPEAKER_02: And our anchor point is we we just we have the human touch.
53:32
SPEAKER_02: We go in and find out what they need and how they need it and customize things.
53:36
SPEAKER_02: I know everybody says that, but it's work.
53:38
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, work, and so we're just successful because we find ways to help them be successful and find out how they measure success so that we can incorporate our processes to do that.
53:50
SPEAKER_02: So we're just a great little company here in Utah that does really good things.
53:55
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
53:56
SPEAKER_01: And how can how can we make it easy for people to find them, find you guys?
54:00
SPEAKER_02: Um, your employment solutions um dot com.
54:03
SPEAKER_02: Okay, it's that simple.
54:04
SPEAKER_02: Yep.
54:04
SPEAKER_02: Uh yesstaffing.com, it'll come up as well.
54:08
SPEAKER_01: Are you guys on LinkedIn and Instagram too?
54:12
SPEAKER_02: Yes, yep, we are.
54:14
SPEAKER_02: We're very we have an amazing marketing team.
54:17
SPEAKER_02: So we we we try and have fun.
54:19
SPEAKER_02: We have our own mascot at the Yeti.
54:21
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
54:22
SPEAKER_02: And so we're we're uh we're on social media uh just promoting things, but also teaching companies to be better and how to use staffing better.
54:31
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
54:32
SPEAKER_01: Well, I will make sure this is linked in in the show notes.
54:35
SPEAKER_01: Um people can can learn more about you, can learn more about I know you dropped a lot of wisdom.
54:39
SPEAKER_01: Maybe you're gonna find someone that wants to run a Spartan race with you.
54:42
SPEAKER_01: So maybe we'll get a we'll get a few new friends for you that way.
54:45
SPEAKER_02: So I'll tell you what.
54:46
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
54:46
SPEAKER_02: So I probably won't do July.
54:50
SPEAKER_02: I I've been threatened by my orthopedic surgeon.
54:53
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but I am, I I think you know, I uh I fully expect uh expect to be down in November at the Spartan race in Phoenix, and I would love to have them jump on my LinkedIn page and let's, you know, everybody should be put their head on the pillow tonight and say, I am scared to death, but I'm gonna do it.
55:11
SPEAKER_01: There you go.
55:12
SPEAKER_02: Well, yeah, hopefully so.
55:13
SPEAKER_01: There we go.
55:14
SPEAKER_01: Love it, love the challenge, everybody who's gonna step up.
55:17
SPEAKER_01: Um all right, Jim, it's now time to go into the uh lightning round.
55:22
SPEAKER_01: This is where I show you the negative hits of taking too many hits in college, not bong hits, but football hits.
55:26
SPEAKER_01: And this is where you're gonna hopefully answer these questions as quickly as you can.
55:30
SPEAKER_01: Okay, and um I'm gonna try to get a giggle out of you.
55:34
SPEAKER_02: Oh, okay.
55:35
SPEAKER_02: All right.
55:36
SPEAKER_01: Are you ready?
55:37
SPEAKER_02: I hope so.
55:38
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
55:39
SPEAKER_01: True or false, you tore your bicep in an arm wrestling tournament.
55:43
SPEAKER_01: False.
55:44
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
55:45
SPEAKER_01: Uh, true or false, you also not only are a fantastic grandpa, but you are the Utah Youth mascot Saturday afternoons from the football stadium.
55:53
SPEAKER_04: Uh false.
55:54
SPEAKER_01: Okay, there's the giggle.
55:56
SPEAKER_01: I giggled too.
55:57
unknown: I'm not that down with it.
55:59
SPEAKER_03: So random.
56:00
SPEAKER_01: Um, if I came to your house for dinner tonight, what would we have?
56:05
SPEAKER_03: Ribs.
56:06
SPEAKER_03: Smoke ribs.
56:07
SPEAKER_03: Sounds really good.
56:09
SPEAKER_01: Um here we go.
56:12
SPEAKER_01: Uh favorite comedy movie of all time is you want me to say that?
56:17
SPEAKER_02: It's either Tommy Boy or Dumb and Dumber.
56:20
SPEAKER_03: Both great choices.
56:22
SPEAKER_02: Or the other guy.
56:24
SPEAKER_02: Probably my most recent.
56:25
SPEAKER_02: The other guy.
56:26
SPEAKER_01: There we go.
56:27
SPEAKER_01: Um, favorite book you read in the last year?
56:31
SPEAKER_02: Leadership and Self-Deception.
56:33
SPEAKER_02: Read it every year.
56:35
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
56:35
SPEAKER_02: Leader, leadership and self-decision.
56:37
SPEAKER_02: By the Arbiter Institute.
56:38
SPEAKER_02: It's a way of anchoring me in my relationships and make better relationships.
56:42
SPEAKER_02: Staying out of the box, as they call it.
56:44
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
56:45
SPEAKER_01: Love that.
56:45
SPEAKER_01: Great book.
56:46
SPEAKER_01: Great book.
56:47
SPEAKER_01: Uh, if you were to take your lovely bride on vacation, no kids, no grandkids, just you and her.
56:51
SPEAKER_01: Tell me where you're taking her.
56:54
SPEAKER_02: He would want a beat, I would want the mountains.
56:59
SPEAKER_02: So we'd go to the beach.
57:01
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
57:03
SPEAKER_01: Good answer.
57:05
SPEAKER_01: Um, if there was to be a book written about your life, tell me the title.
57:08
unknown: Oh.
57:10
SPEAKER_02: Um, No Regrets.
57:12
SPEAKER_01: Love that.
57:13
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
57:14
SPEAKER_01: Now, Jim, No Regrets is killing it.
57:17
SPEAKER_01: Um, Amazon sold out, Barnes Noble sold out, every bookstore is sold out.
57:21
SPEAKER_01: We're gonna make a movie out of it.
57:22
SPEAKER_01: You're now the casting director.
57:23
SPEAKER_01: I need to know who is gonna star the one and only Jim Stedman in this critically acclaimed hit and movie, No Regrets.
57:29
SPEAKER_03: Uh I think probably let's say Tom Cruise.
57:36
SPEAKER_03: Let's go.
57:37
SPEAKER_01: I like it.
57:38
SPEAKER_01: He's jumping out of planes.
57:39
SPEAKER_01: You I think you can jump out of planes, why not?
57:42
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and he's got the look.
57:43
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
57:44
SPEAKER_02: You know, I got a voice for radio.
57:46
SPEAKER_02: I got look for radio.
57:47
SPEAKER_02: Is that what they say?
57:50
SPEAKER_01: Okay, and then most important question tell me two words that would describe your wife.
57:55
SPEAKER_01: Beautiful.
57:57
SPEAKER_01: Uh tenacious.
58:00
SPEAKER_01: Love it.
58:01
SPEAKER_01: Sounds like your mom.
58:02
SPEAKER_01: That's how she's a spicy one too.
58:04
SPEAKER_01: I love it.
58:05
SPEAKER_01: That's you're attracted to the spicy ones, Jim.
58:07
SPEAKER_01: Walking around is complete.
58:08
SPEAKER_01: Uh, this has been an honor spending time with you.
58:10
SPEAKER_01: It's been really, really cool learning about you and your mindset and your family and uh the wisdom as a as a grandpa now.
58:19
SPEAKER_01: Um, I got a ton of notes.
58:20
SPEAKER_01: I hope everybody else does as well.
58:22
SPEAKER_01: If there is a a dad that's listening that you feel like, man, I got a buddy that should listen to this one, please share the episode with them.
58:28
SPEAKER_01: That's how we're gonna continue this thing going.
58:30
SPEAKER_01: We want to try to impact more fathers out there, or try to create better leaders inside of homes, we create better children, um, and which is gonna impact future companies, future organizations, future, you know, nonprofits, associations, whatever it may be.
58:44
SPEAKER_01: So um, but Jim, I appreciate you, man.
58:46
SPEAKER_01: It's been great learning about you.
58:47
SPEAKER_01: And I and I hope I'm grateful our paths crossed.
58:49
SPEAKER_01: Thanks to the one only damn morning.
58:50
SPEAKER_01: But I hope we get a chance to see each other again uh in the near future.
58:53
SPEAKER_01: And I wish you healing so you can get back in that Spartan race, brother.
58:57
SPEAKER_02: Thank you very much.
58:58
SPEAKER_02: I'd love to listen to you again.
58:59
SPEAKER_02: So hopefully our cross paths crossed.
59:01
SPEAKER_01: Awesome.