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148 | Brian Dreams of Biscoff · You Didn't Ask For This

• 0:00
  Matt: Something has come into my life, Eric.
• 0:03
  Eric: Make your own joke here, folks.
• 0:06
  Matt: Hey yo.
• 0:07
  Matt: Too low, too.
• 0:08
  Matt: That fruit.
• 0:09
  Matt: Leave it be.
• 0:10
  Matt: Oh, right.
• 0:11
  Matt: Leave it on the vine, Eric.
• 0:12
  Matt: Let it ripen.
• 0:13
  Matt: Let it ripen.
• 0:15
  Matt: Now, we were at Costco many at this point, many months ago.
• 0:19
  Matt: Yes.
• 0:20
  Matt: We were getting a bunch of stuff.
• 0:22
  Matt: And I saw there was a pack of like a five-pack of Biscoff cookies.
• 0:33
  Matt: Are you familiar with Biscoff?
• 0:35
  Eric: I love a Biscoff.
• 0:37
  Matt: And so it was like five of the, like the ones you could get at the store, the regular grocery store, that are like five dollars each.
• 0:45
  Matt: This was five of those suckers for six dollars.
• 0:50
  Matt: Like the whole thing.
• 0:51
  Matt: We've gotten that box.
• 0:52
  Matt: Oh, yeah.
• 0:53
  Matt: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 0:54
  Matt: Eric, I got it sort of on a whim of like, oh, it's a great deal.
• 0:58
  Matt: I don't really know if I like the Biscoff cookies or not, but like, I mean, they're kind of locale as far as cookies go.
• 1:06
  Matt: And like, let's do it.
• 1:08
  Matt: Eric's made for tea and coffee.
• 1:10
  Matt: Go on.
• 1:10
  Matt: Eric, I can't stop myself.
• 1:17
  Eric: Okay, good.
• 1:18
  Eric: I thought we were gonna have probably yeah, no.
• 1:20
  Eric: So we we are a house of learned biscoffs.
• 1:23
  Matt: Every time I go by that pantry, a biscoff comes with me.
• 1:27
  Matt: Yes.
• 1:27
  Matt: I have gotten the biscoff cookie butter Eric.
• 1:31
  Eric: Yes, you have.
• 1:33
  Eric: Have you had the Biscoff cookie butter?
• 1:35
  Eric: Brother, I have been anointed.
• 1:37
  Eric: Yes.
• 1:38
  Matt: Listeners, let me just bring you into the light of the Lord Biscoff for just a second.
• 1:44
  Matt: The Biscoff cookie butter.
• 1:46
  Matt: The ingredients, when you look on the back of it, it says ingredients, biscoff cookies is the first thing.
• 1:56
  Matt: And it really does taste like someone has has melted down the biscoff cookies into a paste.
• 2:04
  Matt: And this is what you can spread.
• 2:07
  Matt: And Eric, let me tell you something.
• 2:09
  Matt: I I have made you know I'm a snacker.
• 2:12
  Matt: You know that I I can snack with the best of them.
• 2:16
  Eric: Yeah.
• 2:16
  Matt: Let me tell you something.
• 2:17
  Matt: I've been experimenting with biscoff cookie butter.
• 2:20
  Matt: Oh let me tell you something.
• 2:22
  Matt: First of all, I want to tell you this.
• 2:24
  Matt: If you take a biscoff, spread a biscoff cookie, you spread peanut butter, and Eric, creamy peanut butter.
• 2:31
  Matt: Yeah, it kind of demands it.
• 2:33
  Matt: You do that.
• 2:34
  Matt: You put a second biscoff on top of that.
• 2:37
  Matt: Now you got a biscoff peanut butter sandwich.
• 2:39
  Matt: You bite into this, Eric.
• 2:40
  Matt: It is slightly more cinnamony, but but beyond that taste, it is a fucking nutter butter.
• 2:48
  Matt: Like down, it's slightly more cinnamon-y, but otherwise it tastes exactly like a nutter butter.
• 2:55
  Eric: Yes, yes, yes, yes.
• 2:56
  Eric: Let me tell you something, Eric.
• 2:58
  Matt: Go off king.
• 2:59
  Matt: You take the biscoff butter, you put it on some toast.
• 3:02
  Matt: Yup.
• 3:03
  Matt: That's great.
• 3:04
  Matt: Oh, yeah.
• 3:04
  Matt: Buddy, you want to get indulgent?
• 3:06
  Matt: Oh, Eric, I might be already there.
• 3:08
  Matt: Tell me.
• 3:09
  Matt: Do you are you about to say another spread that you mix it with?
• 3:13
  Eric: I'm not about to say another spread you mix it with.
• 3:15
  Matt: Okay, then tell me spread it on.
• 3:17
  Matt: Tell me your indulgences about biscoff.
• 3:20
  Eric: Put that shit on a waffle.
• 3:22
  Matt: Fuck Eric.
• 3:23
  Eric: Matt, put that, spread that fucking biscuff nut butter all over a waffle.
• 3:31
  Matt: Oh yeah, that sounds good.
• 3:32
  Matt: Yeah.
• 3:32
  Matt: That sounds good.
• 3:33
  Matt: Yeah, yeah.
• 3:33
  Matt: Eric, let me let me now that we're warmed up.
• 3:36
  Matt: Yeah.
• 3:36
  Matt: Now that we're fucking randy.
• 3:38
  Matt: Yeah, yeah.
• 3:39
  Eric: Let's get it.
• 3:39
  Matt: Let me tell you a little something here.
• 3:41
  Eric: Alright, I'm with you.
• 3:42
  Eric: I'm in the fucking mud toast.
• 3:44
  Eric: All right.
• 3:44
  Matt: Yeah.
• 3:45
  Matt: Because you need a little heat.
• 3:46
  Matt: You need a little heat for this.
• 3:47
  Matt: Yeah.
• 3:47
  Eric: Oh yeah.
• 3:47
  Eric: Get it.
• 3:48
  Eric: Get it like where it's like the kind of like semi-melty, like, like, like hold, Eric.
• 3:53
  Eric: Hold.
• 3:53
  Eric: Oh mold.
• 3:54
  Eric: Hold on.
• 3:54
  Matt: I can only hold on for so much longer.
• 3:56
  Matt: I I know.
• 3:56
  Matt: I I know.
• 3:57
  Matt: I'm edging you, but just hold on.
• 3:59
  Matt: Oh.
• 3:59
  Matt: Take a big gloop of gloop.
• 4:02
  Matt: Pake a big old fucking gloop of the cookie butter.
• 4:06
  Eric: Yep.
• 4:06
  Matt: You get that cookie butter on there.
• 4:07
  Matt: Yeah.
• 4:07
  Matt: And then on the other side of the toast.
• 4:09
  Matt: Same th same side of the toast, I mean, but like all I'm saying is put a second gloop onto the onto your toast.
• 4:18
  Eric: Uh-huh.
• 4:19
  Matt: But this gloop is of Nutella.
• 4:22
  Matt: And then you take, it's hot, remember?
• 4:25
  Matt: You have toast.
• 4:26
  Matt: Yeah.
• 4:26
  Matt: So you gotta act quickly.
• 4:27
  Matt: Yeah.
• 4:28
  Matt: You combine them, you spread them evenly.
• 4:32
  Matt: Spread it.
• 4:33
  Matt: And then you have a biscoff cookie butter Nutella icing on top of your toast.
• 4:40
  Matt: Like a fucking freight train.
• 4:48
  Matt: Yeah, I don't, but but I don't know what it is.
• 4:55
  Matt: I can Eric, it is now to the point.
• 4:57
  Matt: I am running low on biscoffs.
• 5:00
  Matt: Yeah, dude.
• 5:00
  Matt: I don't have to go to Costco just this moment.
• 5:03
  Matt: I went out to the giant store to get a $61 package of Biscoff cookies because I cannot have enough of them.
• 5:14
  Matt: It is now an item that must be in stock in this household.
• 5:18
  Matt: It is perfect with coffee.
• 5:20
  Eric: It is perfect with biscuits.
• 5:20
  Eric: Perfect with coffee.
• 5:21
  Eric: It's perfect with everything.
• 5:22
  Eric: I have crumbled them up to make graham, like I make a graham cracker crush.
• 5:26
  Matt: Absolutely, you have.
• 5:27
  Matt: But I make it with biscoff instead.
• 5:29
  Matt: I uh I I from a local uh creamery, I have gotten a biscoff coffee ice cream that's really good if you like if you like the coffee ice cream.
• 5:39
  Matt: But but I have already had thoughts of like making my because you know I make ice cream.
• 5:44
  Matt: I've been thinking, oh, I could make my own biscoff ice cream.
• 5:47
  Matt: Here's here I'm I got some ideas kicking around.
• 5:50
  Matt: But Eric, you hit the nail on the head with the cram cracker thing because I have already thought, again, my level of snack intellect is on just another plane.
• 6:00
  Matt: You're yeah.
• 6:02
  Matt: And I, you know, you're like the Tom Cruise of snack.
• 6:05
  Matt: Thank you.
• 6:06
  Matt: My wife comes from a family who does not know how to snack, but whereas the Shays are, as my father recently described us, hardy snackers.
• 6:17
  Matt: We are stout, hardy snacking people.
• 6:23
  Matt: And I told that to my son.
• 6:24
  Matt: I said, You will be a hardy snacker.
• 6:26
  Matt: You'll be a hardy snacker, my boy.
• 6:28
  Eric: Honestly, he already is.
• 6:29
  Eric: Uh, but the my father and his father before him.
• 6:32
  Eric: My father and his father before him.
• 6:34
  Eric: You too shall have a snack every time you go through the pantry.
• 6:39
  Eric: Everything the pantry touches is our kingdom.
• 6:42
  Eric: Everything in this kitchen shouldn't get through the week.
• 6:46
  Eric: Uh so what about that dark, shadowy place that is a bag of crazins, and you must never go there.
• 6:53
  Eric: That's been there for seven years.
• 6:55
  Eric: We don't even know who bought it.
• 6:57
  Eric: No one approaches.
• 6:58
  Eric: It's sort of a standoff between your mother and I as to who will throw it out.
• 7:03
  Eric: Son, if ere you open that bag, you are at rock bottom.
• 7:07
  Eric: Know this.
• 7:08
  Eric: No.
• 7:14
  Matt: So I guess the thesis of this cold open is.
• 7:17
  Matt: Yeah.
• 7:18
  Matt: Damn, Biscoff is good.
• 7:19
  Eric: Damn, Biscoff, shit.
• 7:22
  Eric: Damn.
• 7:24
  Eric: And I was like that.
• 7:37
  Matt: Well, hello, everybody, and welcome to You Didn't Ask for This.
• 7:41
  Matt: It is the podcast that answers life's least pressing questions.
• 7:45
  Matt: Okay, thank you.
• 7:46
  Matt: My name's Matthew Shea.
• 7:48
  Matt: My name is Eric Poach.
• 7:50
  Matt: Eric Biscoff Poach.
• 7:52
  Matt: How are you?
• 7:53
  Eric: Damn, I want a Biscoff dog.
• 7:54
  Eric: Damn, man.
• 7:55
  Eric: I got it.
• 7:56
  Matt: And let me tell you something else.
• 7:58
  Matt: Yeah.
• 7:58
  Matt: Tell me something else about Biscoff.
• 8:00
  Matt: Let me tell you about my three spread surprise.
• 8:03
  Matt: Okay.
• 8:04
  Matt: You got those two gloops from before.
• 8:06
  Matt: You remember the gloops.
• 8:08
  Eric: Yeah, oh yeah, yeah.
• 8:08
  Matt: One Nutella, one cookie butter.
• 8:12
  Eric: Yeah.
• 8:12
  Eric: And in the middle, don't even say it.
• 8:15
  Matt: Peanut butter.
• 8:18
  Matt: You just get it all mixed up.
• 8:20
  Matt: That's when you really are, you know, searching for diabetes.
• 8:25
  Eric: Fuck.
• 8:25
  Eric: Yeah, when you when you were just when you were you know what?
• 8:28
  Eric: No, when you fucking deserve a treat.
• 8:31
  Matt: Truly, though, when you deserve a treat and you want a sweet treat that isn't actually in the grand scheme all that bad for you.
• 8:40
  Matt: No.
• 8:40
  Matt: Biscoff.
• 8:41
  Matt: Fucking go for it, man.
• 8:43
  Eric: It's the cookie of 30 plus year olds.
• 8:45
  Matt: Oh my God.
• 8:46
  Matt: This is our Oreo.
• 8:47
  Matt: This is our time.
• 8:48
  Matt: I just thought, why don't I?
• 8:51
  Matt: This is what just came into my brain.
• 8:52
  Matt: Yeah.
• 8:53
  Matt: I should go to the store and get that Pillsbury icing and put that.
• 8:57
  Matt: Dog.
• 8:58
  Matt: Welcome to my new show, Will It Biscoff.
• 9:02
  Eric: Oh my God.
• 9:03
  Eric: Answer yes.
• 9:05
  Eric: Dude, if okay, if they made grown-up dunkaroos, but instead of like the dunkaroo cookies, it was biscoff and biscoff cookie butter.
• 9:14
  Matt: Fuck.
• 9:14
  Eric: Or just I like, dude, it'd be all over.
• 9:16
  Matt: I'll tell you this right now for free.
• 9:17
  Matt: It'd be all over.
• 9:18
  Matt: I don't I don't know how I'm gonna make they probably make this.
• 9:21
  Matt: I don't know how I'm gonna do this.
• 9:23
  Matt: I bet old Bay's good there somehow.
• 9:25
  Matt: Somehow, somehow.
• 9:27
  Matt: Somehow, some way.
• 9:28
  Matt: Somehow.
• 9:28
  Matt: Maybe caramel has to be involved.
• 9:30
  Matt: Oh my god.
• 9:31
  Matt: All right.
• 9:33
  Matt: Well now, we gotta we should focus up because we gotta get to work, Eric, because really, we are chasing the end of this show from the beginning.
• 9:42
  Eric: Oh, yeah.
• 9:43
  Eric: Okay.
• 9:43
  Eric: Sorry.
• 9:44
  Eric: I thought this was like you low-key telling me that this is gonna be our last episode.
• 9:48
  Eric: Why would you jump to that?
• 9:50
  Eric: Because you're like, this is the chasing the end of this show.
• 9:53
  Matt: Are you you're that desperate to get out of this show?
• 9:56
  Eric: Brother, no, I'm that broken if you ever leave me.
• 9:58
  Eric: We wouldn't have to be a good thing.
• 9:59
  Eric: That's why I'm gonna do all that's why I do all this toxic shit to keep you around.
• 10:02
  Eric: I treat you like dirt, you stick to me like mud.
• 10:05
  Matt: Oh, I get it.
• 10:06
  Matt: Yeah.
• 10:07
  Matt: That's very effective.
• 10:08
  Matt: Oh, let's see.
• 10:10
  Matt: Let me get that for you, sir.
• 10:12
  Matt: Uh listen.
• 10:16
  Matt: No, but now I I am hip to what you're trying to say.
• 10:18
  Matt: What I'm trying to say is we have already recorded the closing segment for this episode because it features Dr.
• 10:27
  Matt: Lindsay Armbar and her world famous correction corner.
• 10:32
  Eric: Yes.
• 10:33
  Eric: And folks, I'm gonna let you know right now, I tee up that correction corner so well because like we knew we were gonna have to patch it in at the end of the episode.
• 10:39
  Eric: So I seamlessly, seamlessly.
• 10:43
  Eric: You remember what I organically transitioned in as if it were natural.
• 10:49
  Eric: You won't even notice the clip.
• 10:51
  Matt: Any any clue as to what you you said to TSP?
• 10:55
  Matt: Yeah.
• 10:55
  Matt: All right, cool.
• 10:56
  Matt: Um, so yeah, well, so oh, so you don't want me to like fade out.
• 10:59
  Matt: You want me to try to splice it in.
• 11:01
  Matt: Oh, yeah, no, no.
• 11:02
  Matt: Yeah, this transition will be flawless.
• 11:04
  Matt: Oh, okay.
• 11:05
  Matt: So, like uh, yeah, see if you can spot the scenes, listen.
• 11:09
  Matt: This is new, this is fun.
• 11:11
  Matt: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 11:12
  Matt: Spot the edit, spot the edit.
• 11:14
  Matt: It's the new segment right up there with the interlude.
• 11:17
  Matt: I'm interested to see if that comes back.
• 11:19
  Matt: Um the if Eric even remembers what the interlude is and what the rules were.
• 11:26
  Eric: No.
• 11:28
  Matt: Hey, at least you're honest.
• 11:30
  Matt: Uh, we got a couple of questions here today, and uh one is from the thought line.
• 11:35
  Matt: We'll get to that in just a second because we had all thought line last time around.
• 11:39
  Matt: We did.
• 11:40
  Matt: So uh well, listen, when it's hot, it's hot.
• 11:43
  Matt: Uh, but we also we got very unusually we got a submission through the Discord, but not ours.
• 11:51
  Matt: Not our Discord, not our sweet babies.
• 11:54
  Matt: No, no, no, not our orgy dome, no, sir.
• 11:56
  Matt: No, sir.
• 11:57
  Matt: This came uh by way of the neat cast Discord, which you should all be a part of.
• 12:03
  Matt: You should all be a part of.
• 12:05
  Eric: They give theirs away for free.
• 12:06
  Eric: You can just go you can just go fucking cruising for Discord tale.
• 12:13
  Eric: Yeah, and you can just show up fucking theirs and eat cast.
• 12:16
  Matt: I mean, I'm not trying to say anything, but they let anyone in there.
• 12:20
  Matt: They let us in there.
• 12:22
  Matt: Us in there.
• 12:23
  Matt: When we say we have an orgy deck when we say you guys can come over here, but pay a cover.
• 12:30
  Eric: Hey, you can come over here, just everyone throws in for a 30 rack.
• 12:34
  Eric: You know what I mean.
• 12:35
  Matt: Anyway, this comes from other Chris on the Discord, again, the neat cast Discord.
• 12:42
  Matt: Why is spicy the only flavor our butts can detect and replicate?
• 12:51
  Matt: Eric, I believe you said this spoke to your soul.
• 12:54
  Eric: This did speak to my soul because our universe is infinitely expanding.
• 13:03
  Eric: There is endless uh possibilities within the physical realm.
• 13:10
  Eric: That's the theory.
• 13:11
  Eric: And I have always truly well believed that much like we cannot perceive the same colors as, say, a mantis shrimp, or each other, but continue.
• 13:22
  Eric: Or each other, there will always be sense media that is beyond our ability to perceive, but that does not make it any less real.
• 13:33
  Eric: I see what you're doing.
• 13:34
  Eric: To that, I wonder.
• 13:35
  Eric: I don't think that it's that our butts can only taste spicy, but I think our understanding of our butts and the food that passed through it, I think we we have not yet caught on to what the other flavors do.
• 13:53
  Eric: Spicy is the most familiar, it's like one to one.
• 13:56
  Eric: But I like to think that my butt does like get that sour.
• 14:01
  Eric: Does it get the savory?
• 14:03
  Eric: Get that savory, get that salty.
• 14:05
  Eric: I think that boils it.
• 14:06
  Eric: Do you know how and I'm gonna be vulnerable for a second?
• 14:09
  Eric: Salty.
• 14:10
  Eric: You could have three different poops that all objectively look the same.
• 14:19
  Eric: Okay, and like same volume, like you can you can do that, but each one left you feeling a little differently.
• 14:26
  Eric: Oh, okay.
• 14:27
  Eric: I now I see what you're doing.
• 14:28
  Eric: Every time we are doing our sin on the toilet, there is a I don't know about you.
• 14:39
  Matt: My I like to think of mine as a celebration.
• 14:42
  Eric: My poop set the tone for like the next few hours of my day.
• 14:46
  Matt: Oh, yeah, brother, I've been there.
• 14:48
  Eric: Yeah.
• 14:48
  Eric: So like there there have been times, and and I truly don't think it always comes down to like how it carries.
• 14:56
  Eric: I like I don't think there's a but there's like there is for lack of a better word, I'm gonna touch back on Rasa boxes.
• 15:03
  Eric: Oh, I think there's a flavor of the poop.
• 15:09
  Eric: But it's and it's not just a sensation of it happening, it's not just like what my stomach was saying, it's the whole experience taken together produces a what we call the flavor of the dookie.
• 15:26
  Eric: Yes, that like the essence that the essence that sets that tone for my day.
• 15:32
  Matt: So and I could take us on a quick divergent path to discuss what Rossa boxes are in great detail, but I won't.
• 15:39
  Matt: I want I want you to just accept that reference, everybody.
• 15:44
  Eric: Everyone, when you hear this reference, and feel free to, you know, the next time if you need to like go and be around some friends listening to our podcast out loud so you can do this.
• 15:53
  Eric: You have full permission, just like write like five seconds before this part, you can just skip ahead.
• 15:59
  Eric: But like go play the episode again out loud, like maybe on like a subway or something in front of everyone.
• 16:05
  Matt: Yeah, at a loud volume, preferably in a residential area, like around 5 30 p.m.
• 16:12
  Eric: So everyone like it's nice and packed, and everyone's gonna be able to do it.
• 16:14
  Eric: There's like a parents waiting for their kids at a bus stop.
• 16:17
  Eric: And so when I make the reference to rasa boxes, if you want to sound deep as hell, just go, mmm, roudra.
• 16:26
  Matt: Like you can just say one of them.
• 16:27
  Matt: I mean, if you say deep as hell and you pick one of the like key rasas.
• 16:32
  Matt: Matt.
• 16:32
  Matt: I mean, you want to go deep cut rasa, you gotta go bibatzah.
• 16:37
  Matt: Bipatza! So just like say that just say Sanskrit words and or or you can just look like look at the ceiling like you've just had an epiphany and go, oh, he stands in the center.
• 16:50
  Eric: And then then like you'll look so deep.
• 16:53
  Eric: You'll look so deep.
• 16:54
  Eric: No, you can't go in the center, Eric.
• 16:55
  Eric: You've never been there.
• 16:56
  Eric: It's kind of like my favorite move with theater is just always say Halbrectian.
• 17:01
  Matt: Um I I'm so mad at you.
• 17:04
  Matt: Do you do that?
• 17:06
  Matt: Yeah.
• 17:07
  Eric: Oh yeah, buddy.
• 17:08
  Eric: I I'll do that.
• 17:09
  Eric: I'll watch fucking Blue Man Group and say Halbrectian.
• 17:13
  Matt: Okay, well, Blue Man Group actually, you know, has some uh uh has some Brectian to it.
• 17:19
  Matt: I'll I'll I'll watch it's like when uh well you know who you're talking to.
• 17:24
  Matt: You're talking to the person who when somebody in a theatrical context is like, uh, it was this absurdist piece of theater.
• 17:31
  Matt: Was it was it absurdism or was it wacky?
• 17:35
  Matt: Because if it's the latter, fuck you and your contextless existence.
• 17:42
  Matt: I don't need forced whimsy.
• 17:45
  Matt: No, Samuel Beckett was not he has whimsy in there, all right, but the absurdism is not about his work, it's about life.
• 17:53
  Eric: And those are the kinds of flavors that we capture when we poo.
• 17:57
  Matt: By the way, pop quiz, Eric, what's the name of the center square in Ross of this?
• 18:01
  Matt: It is new metal final answer.
• 18:05
  Matt: You were enlightened, right?
• 18:06
  Matt: You felt you good you felt you deserve to be in the center.
• 18:09
  Matt: So what's it called, Eric?
• 18:10
  Matt: Matt, I'm beyond and remember, you're talking to somebody who has presented Rossaboxes on the international stage.
• 18:15
  Eric: But who was presenting and to whom was presented, Matt.
• 18:19
  Matt: Well, I know that answer.
• 18:20
  Matt: I've been in the center.
• 18:22
  Eric: Who is this I that has been in the center, Matt?
• 18:25
  Eric: I know not of what you speak.
• 18:26
  Eric: It's Shanta.
• 18:27
  Eric: Now yes, Matt, it is.
• 18:30
  Eric: Don't do that.
• 18:31
  Eric: Very good.
• 18:32
  Eric: Don't do that.
• 18:34
  Matt: You're gonna you know what?
• 18:35
  Matt: You can't rage bait me like this anymore.
• 18:37
  Matt: Nah.
• 18:37
  Matt: I'm a father now.
• 18:38
  Matt: I'm I'm level-headed.
• 18:41
  Matt: I'm a new Matt.
• 18:42
  Matt: This is new Matt.
• 18:43
  Matt: Talk about new metal, this is new mat.
• 18:45
  Matt: I I'm calm, I'm cool, I'm collect.
• 18:50
  Matt: I can't fly into a rage.
• 18:52
  Matt: This is a man who eats biscoff.
• 18:54
  Matt: I am a biscoff boy, okay?
• 19:00
  Matt: Possibly a biscoff bitch.
• 19:02
  Matt: Okay, I can't I can't be rattled.
• 19:09
  Matt: Not when I have crumbly cookies at my beck and call.
• 19:13
  Matt: No, you you wear the armor, you wear the biscoin.
• 19:16
  Matt: Because listener beware.
• 19:18
  Matt: If you they are perfect to dip into a tea or a coffee.
• 19:22
  Matt: But yeah, we're back on biscoff bitches.
• 19:24
  Matt: Welcome to the Biscoff Hour.
• 19:27
  Matt: If you dip, if you dip a biscoff into a hot liquid, or probably any liquid, but you dip it into like coffee and you hold it up to like let the coffee absorb down the cookie, buddy.
• 19:42
  Matt: You're playing with a time bomb because you have to eat that pretty quick because it's such a small window.
• 19:50
  Matt: If you don't eat it within, I'm gonna say 15 seconds, yeah, it will turn that's generous, it will turn into mush and crumble, crumble like the Roman Empire.
• 20:01
  Eric: But there is like a two to three second window.
• 20:03
  Eric: Oh god.
• 20:04
  Eric: Oh my god.
• 20:05
  Eric: If you get through that fucking window, here's what you do, guys.
• 20:10
  Matt: You dip, you bring it up vertically, you appreciate it visually into the mouth.
• 20:15
  Matt: It should be that long.
• 20:16
  Matt: It should be like, look at it, bam, and now I'm fucking in it.
• 20:21
  Eric: Like you are with Jiro dreaming of sushi.
• 20:24
  Eric: That is how you must eat this biscoff.
• 20:26
  Eric: Yeah, man.
• 20:27
  Eric: Brian dreams of biscoff.
• 20:28
  Eric: Brian dreams of biscoff.
• 20:32
  Eric: Uh uh.
• 20:34
  Eric: What were we talking about?
• 20:36
  Eric: Oh, poop.
• 20:37
  Eric: That's right.
• 20:37
  Eric: Spicy butts and other and other sundry flavors.
• 20:40
  Matt: Um, and you yeah, you I agree though with what you we really got off track real quick.
• 20:46
  Matt: But what I'm saying is like that I I agree with you about the flavor.
• 20:50
  Matt: Like, cause there are poops that feel good.
• 20:53
  Matt: Yeah, and and it and for so many reasons.
• 20:57
  Matt: And there are poops that feel bad.
• 20:59
  Matt: Bad poops that feel concerning.
• 21:01
  Matt: Yes.
• 21:02
  Matt: I'm a man with IBS.
• 21:04
  Matt: I have a great many poops, and uh I I it's a spectrum, is what we're saying.
• 21:09
  Matt: Poop exists on a spectrum.
• 21:12
  Matt: Yeah, okay.
• 21:13
  Matt: And so in that, spicy is just one of those flavors.
• 21:19
  Matt: And it's the loudest for sure.
• 21:22
  Eric: Yeah.
• 21:23
  Matt: Yeah.
• 21:23
  Matt: I think I think you're right.
• 21:25
  Matt: Because and I think it the because spice naturally has this like uh sharpness to it, right?
• 21:33
  Matt: This heat.
• 21:34
  Matt: Like what the question is kind of radiating.
• 21:37
  Matt: But I think what the question is really asking is why is it the only flavor our butts detect and replicate?
• 21:43
  Matt: It's saying it you get the spicy poop when you have a spicy food.
• 21:48
  Eric: So if you have a spicy, the same spice in my in my poop that I had in my mouth.
• 21:52
  Eric: But you have a salt bagel, you don't have a salty poop.
• 21:55
  Eric: Don't have a salty poop, but but that salt did something to me.
• 21:59
  Eric: The flavor of that poop for my butt.
• 22:02
  Matt: Yeah.
• 22:02
  Matt: And my butt is tasting it.
• 22:04
  Matt: And if you have a nice high fiber meal and let a good well, whatever your passage of time is, for me, it's it's probably about two hours.
• 22:14
  Matt: The and you get a fucking turd.
• 22:19
  Matt: You know?
• 22:20
  Matt: Like just a solid log.
• 22:23
  Matt: A fucking log.
• 22:25
  Matt: That guy, that feels like an accomplishment.
• 22:30
  Eric: That that is that's a KPI.
• 22:32
  Eric: That makes me feel like I'm on like, pardon the phrase, on top of my shit.
• 22:38
  Matt: I mean, he just said that, folks.
• 22:40
  Matt: Like he just thinks of this, this boy I got.
• 22:42
  Matt: That's what I do.
• 22:43
  Matt: This is what he does.
• 22:45
  Matt: And that's why you're you're Funkal Poch.
• 22:47
  Matt: I shit and I know things.
• 22:48
  Matt: Nice, Tyrion.
• 22:50
  Matt: Well done.
• 22:50
  Matt: Nice.
• 22:51
  Matt: Very good.
• 22:52
  Matt: But but that said.
• 22:53
  Matt: But I don't think you can get, I don't think you eat something sweet.
• 22:56
  Matt: You don't have a biscoff crusted cheesecake.
• 22:59
  Eric: No, I've never had a poop and go.
• 23:00
  Eric: I'm ooh, cloying.
• 23:02
  Matt: Oh, hello.
• 23:03
  Matt: That's gonna come out creamy.
• 23:04
  Eric: You don't do that's gonna be tart on my on my on my ass.
• 23:08
  Matt: No.
• 23:09
  Matt: We just get spicy.
• 23:11
  Matt: And I think that's because the spice materials, right?
• 23:15
  Matt: I think I'm trying to give a real answer to this.
• 23:17
  Eric: What's wrong with you're slowly creeping?
• 23:20
  Matt: I'll tell you what it is.
• 23:21
  Matt: I'm a father.
• 23:22
  Matt: Your father.
• 23:23
  Eric: Talk to us about capsases.
• 23:25
  Matt: I think it's this the spices themselves are in your um, I don't want to get too blue here, so I'll say sphincter.
• 23:32
  Matt: And uh down the anal canal.
• 23:36
  Matt: And they uh, you know, that's touching very sensitive skin, very sensitive, very soft.
• 23:41
  Matt: Very thinness tissue paper.
• 23:43
  Matt: Very, very thin.
• 23:44
  Eric: Please practice good technique.
• 23:48
  Matt: Say more about that, Eric.
• 23:49
  Matt: I mean No, go ahead.
• 23:52
  Matt: Say more about that.
• 23:53
  Matt: Uh I believe what you said is practice good technique.
• 23:56
  Eric: Out isn't the only direction.
• 23:58
  Eric: Sure.
• 23:59
  Eric: And you want to be you want to be good to yourself and to anyone else who may be spalunking.
• 24:06
  Matt: Yeah, I uh yeah, so I I believe you're teeing yourself up to give some like uh like good butt-douche uh instructions.
• 24:14
  Eric: Yeah, you just want not even butt douche, like you know, like you know, dress to your comfort, but lubrication, you know, yeah never goes amiss.
• 24:23
  Eric: You got a lube for the poops now?
• 24:25
  Eric: How much stuff you're doing back?
• 24:26
  Eric: No, no, no, no, no.
• 24:27
  Eric: I'm just saying, like, you know, we're just like as a testament to the delicacy of the tissues in that region.
• 24:33
  Eric: I'm just saying, yeah, people often must take precaution uh when doing other things with the butt.
• 24:40
  Matt: Really strange direction you've taken us now.
• 24:43
  Matt: I say about the question surrounding spices.
• 24:46
  Matt: Yeah, I was like, oh, we're already there.
• 24:48
  Matt: We're already here.
• 24:48
  Matt: We're already there.
• 24:49
  Matt: Other crisps brought us down to the gutter.
• 24:52
  Eric: Yeah.
• 24:52
  Matt: Yeah.
• 24:52
  Matt: We're uh honestly where we belong.
• 24:55
  Matt: Yeah, no, it's it's where we made our home and where we spread our bread and butter, so to speak.
• 25:01
  Eric: Uh our bread, our butter, and our biscuit cookie butter.
• 25:05
  Matt: Yeah, man.
• 25:05
  Matt: Fucking biscoff, dog.
• 25:09
  Eric: Slather it on top of an ice cream cone.
• 25:11
  Eric: God damn.
• 25:14
  Matt: Fuck.
• 25:15
  Matt: Did you just say the butter you like get the hot butter, like a hot joke on top of ice cream?
• 25:21
  Matt: Eric, you could be a Shea the way you heartily snack.
• 25:25
  Eric: Oh, I'm a hearty snacker.
• 25:27
  Matt: You could be.
• 25:28
  Matt: Yes.
• 25:29
  Matt: Let me ask you something.
• 25:31
  Matt: This is the real sign of a hearty snagger.
• 25:33
  Eric: Yeah.
• 25:33
  Matt: Do you have a snack while you're picking out a snack?
• 25:37
  Matt: Oh, yeah.
• 25:39
  Matt: I was that's I was that's entry level snacking.
• 25:42
  Eric: I have a s I also have snacks while I'm preparing another snack.
• 25:45
  Eric: Like if I've if I've got like a little, like a little like some pizza bites in the in the in the microwave or something, like you better believe I'm hitting the trail mix.
• 25:53
  Eric: I'm grazing, dog.
• 25:55
  Eric: Got to graze because you are a gazelle.
• 25:58
  Eric: Yeah, I gotta graze.
• 26:00
  Eric: How else am I gonna enter ketosis?
• 26:06
  Matt: God damn.
• 26:07
  Matt: Damn.
• 26:09
  Matt: God damn.
• 26:10
  Matt: This is the kind of content you get when we record at 10 p.m.
• 26:13
  Matt: on a Friday.
• 26:14
  Matt: Uh, the people are off clubbing pumping their bits.
• 26:19
  Eric: Eric's got here.
• 26:20
  Matt: We are he's gotten himself all worked to the bone in the fields.
• 26:25
  Matt: Um I am just completely burned out from a nine to five and then uh truly a five to just nine again in the morning.
• 26:38
  Eric: You all are truly getting us at our most vulnerable.
• 26:41
  Eric: I have I've but I was literally texting Matt.
• 26:45
  Eric: Matt's like, my boy has been most tempestuous today.
• 26:50
  Eric: That was and I'm like, I I reply with the fields have taken their toll.
• 26:56
  Eric: Yes, we can we bump scheduling to tomorrow night.
• 26:59
  Eric: And I said, Yes, we can.
• 27:01
  Eric: Yes, we should.
• 27:01
  Eric: Oh, thank God.
• 27:03
  Eric: Uh so yeah, we are very vulnerable, raw, wretched creatures right now.
• 27:08
  Eric: Wretched creatures we are.
• 27:09
  Eric: And speaking of that, let's get back to the butts.
• 27:12
  Eric: Let's get back to the butts.
• 27:13
  Eric: Let's get back to the butt stuff.
• 27:14
  Eric: All that to say, yeah, very sensitive tissues down there.
• 27:17
  Eric: Yes, yes.
• 27:18
  Eric: Treat them with respect, treat it with respect.
• 27:20
  Eric: And so that you will feel the spice, the spice.
• 27:23
  Eric: That's what boys.
• 27:24
  Eric: The reason we get the spice, the spice must flow.
• 27:27
  Eric: It's all there.
• 27:29
  Eric: Please anaga yeep.
• 27:31
  Matt: It's all there.
• 27:32
  Matt: The spice black and white, clear, clear as crystal.
• 27:34
  Matt: And when the spice does flow, spice sting a bit.
• 27:39
  Matt: Spice her.
• 27:39
  Matt: Spice ding a bit.
• 27:41
  Eric: This is the pri Spice hit you twice.
• 27:43
  Eric: Spice Eric.
• 27:45
  Eric: Spice hit you twice.
• 27:46
  Eric: Spice hit you twice.
• 27:47
  Eric: I I I made a little some pizza pockets earlier.
• 27:50
  Eric: I put some some red chili pepper flakes on them.
• 27:53
  Eric: I've accepted my faith.
• 27:55
  Eric: Yeah.
• 27:55
  Eric: Spice hit you twice.
• 27:57
  Eric: Ancient Harkinin proverb.
• 27:59
  Eric: But Matt, let me hit you with this.
• 28:01
  Eric: You have to pick another flavor other than spicy that you can feel and detect and replicate similar spicy every time you poop.
• 28:10
  Eric: Them being, you know, salty, sweet, umami, sour.
• 28:15
  Eric: It doesn't mean every poop's gonna taste that way coming out.
• 28:18
  Eric: It just means that you're also now going to be able to pick this up.
• 28:23
  Eric: Which one are you picking?
• 28:24
  Matt: You know, I said it earlier, I'm gonna say it now, creamy.
• 28:27
  Matt: But but is creamy a flavor?
• 28:32
  Matt: That's a texture.
• 28:34
  Matt: Sure, but so spicy, you because you keep saying taste, but unless you're eating your dookie.
• 28:40
  Eric: I mean, like hot, like spice is a flavor, though.
• 28:42
  Matt: Okay, but what I'm saying is if you're having spice and then you have spicy poop, I'm saying if you're having a cream-based thing, like an ice cream or like a whipped cream, even just straight out of a ready whipped can, because you're grazing on your way to get a snack, yeah.
• 29:02
  Matt: I'm saying then you get a poop that has that smoothness uh and perhaps even the coolness on the back end.
• 29:12
  Eric: On the fucking top notes.
• 29:14
  Eric: On the back end.
• 29:16
  Matt: Yeah, if I honestly, if I could honestly, I'm just thinking about now.
• 29:20
  Eric: If I could have one cold shit, I think I would honestly there have been many times in my life where I'm like, God, I wish this poop was like 10 to 15 degrees cooler.
• 29:32
  Eric: If I could just turn on a fucking window unit in my butt, you know, and like if I could, if I could get the the the fucking experience of flipping over to the cold side of the pillow, but in the poop.
• 29:44
  Eric: My wife's gonna be on this episode.
• 29:47
  Matt: She's already recorded a bit, and she has no idea the level of depravity that is precisely.
• 29:55
  Matt: Yeah, she's she's really hitched her wagon to this to this horse.
• 30:00
  Matt: And one day my boy's gonna listen back on this.
• 30:03
  Matt: Yeah, he's gonna say that's my boy.
• 30:06
  Eric: Yeah, he is.
• 30:07
  Eric: Oh, good.
• 30:08
  Eric: Oh, golly golly.
• 30:09
  Eric: Have we talked about this poop question?
• 30:11
  Matt: I think we have.
• 30:12
  Matt: Thank God.
• 30:12
  Matt: Uh, we got a message here on the thought line.
• 30:15
  Matt: Uh let's see if it plays.
• 30:18
  Mrs. Steveless in Seattle: Hello, you dad.
• 30:20
  Mrs. Steveless in Seattle: This is Mrs.
• 30:21
  Mrs. Steveless in Seattle: Steve Less in Seattle.
• 30:23
  Mrs. Steveless in Seattle: And I am calling because I have a question for the show.
• 30:27
  Mrs. Steveless in Seattle: And it goes like this.
• 30:28
  Mrs. Steveless in Seattle: We know what a bit is, but what is a tid in the word tid?
• 30:33
  Mrs. Steveless in Seattle: Thank you so much.
• 30:35
  Mrs. Steveless in Seattle: Love the show.
• 30:36
  Eric: Ladies, Lady Steve Less.
• 30:38
  Matt: Lady Steveless, yes.
• 30:40
  Matt: Mrs.
• 30:40
  Matt: Less.
• 30:42
  Eric: Introducing Dr.
• 30:43
  Eric: and Mrs.
• 30:44
  Eric: Steve Steve Less in Seattle.
• 30:47
  Eric: In Seattle.
• 30:48
  Eric: Um thank you.
• 30:50
  Eric: Hey, thank you so much.
• 30:51
  Eric: And also thank you.
• 30:52
  Eric: This is this rules.
• 30:53
  Eric: We have a package deal with them now.
• 30:55
  Eric: Yeah.
• 30:56
  Eric: Yeah.
• 30:57
  Eric: Yeah.
• 30:57
  Eric: Absolutely.
• 30:58
  Eric: Um so we know what a bit is, but a tid.
• 31:01
  Eric: A tid of the bit, a tid bit.
• 31:04
  Eric: Now, my in my instinct is that it's the result of some weird ass English uh accent shenanigans.
• 31:14
  Eric: Kind of like if someone's saying a tad bit, and then it just goes through a weird accent like vowel drift.
• 31:24
  Matt: Oh, it's a cut to tid bit.
• 31:25
  Matt: Or are Tad and Tid relative to each other sometimes.
• 31:28
  Eric: Tad and tid.
• 31:29
  Eric: Is a tad a tad feels longer than a tid.
• 31:32
  Eric: It does, doesn't it?
• 31:33
  Eric: You know what it does.
• 31:34
  Eric: It's got that.
• 31:35
  Eric: Say it.
• 31:36
  Matt: It's got that flavor.
• 31:37
  Matt: Oh, I was gonna say uh it has that girth.
• 31:40
  Matt: It has that girth.
• 31:41
  Matt: It does a tad to me.
• 31:42
  Matt: Tad has girth.
• 31:44
  Matt: I was gonna say tad feels wider than it is long, but it feels bigger than a tid.
• 31:49
  Eric: Yes, yes, and a t a tid feels much lighter.
• 31:52
  Eric: It feels like like a tad a tad goes a tad goes thunk, a tid goes.
• 31:58
  Matt: If a if a tad is like a like a like a like a like a biscuit with gravy.
• 32:08
  Matt: Or like a like No no no don't say it.
• 32:11
  Matt: Don't even say it.
• 32:12
  Matt: I'm saying if it is like a heavy, butterladen biscuit.
• 32:18
  Matt: Yes.
• 32:18
  Matt: As we say here in America.
• 32:20
  Matt: Buttermilk biscuit.
• 32:21
  Matt: Buttermilk biscuit.
• 32:23
  Matt: A tid, on the other hand, more like a biscuff.
• 32:27
  Eric: More like a fucking just that found profile with the nice little snap crunch, like perfect texture, perfect size.
• 32:36
  Eric: You could have one, you could have a fucking hundred of them.
• 32:39
  Eric: You really can.
• 32:40
  Eric: You can in tank those fucking biscoffs.
• 32:45
  Eric: Um I I do like this direction we're going though.
• 32:48
  Eric: We should just keep describing what a tit is by comparing it to a tad.
• 32:52
  Eric: If a tit like so, like a tad.
• 32:55
  Matt: But wait, is Mrs.
• 32:57
  Matt: Liss saying that the uh be in the sense that uh we know what a bit is.
• 33:03
  Matt: She's saying what a bit is.
• 33:04
  Matt: Are we talking like a comedy bit in the sense that oh, which we've talked about before, the difference between a bit and a et cetera, et cetera.
• 33:13
  Matt: But like, are we saying that kind of bit?
• 33:16
  Matt: No, I think we're I think we're referring to a tidbit.
• 33:19
  Matt: She's saying a tidbit, but I'm saying we know what a bit is.
• 33:23
  Matt: Yes.
• 33:26
  Eric: Of a bit in a tidbit what we what we do on the show, bits.
• 33:30
  Eric: Man, I'm getting turned around.
• 33:32
  Eric: I think it's one of two things.
• 33:34
  Eric: I think a tidbit like uh the bit context in tidbit either refers to a bit being like a bit of information.
• 33:43
  Eric: Okay.
• 33:44
  Eric: Here's a little tidbit for you.
• 33:45
  Eric: Yes.
• 33:46
  Eric: Or it could be if you know, if if a tad bit is is like a performance, yes, a tidbit is like uh like a slice of life of that performance.
• 34:02
  Eric: Like it's it's like it's like if you take just like a little like, oh, you've given me the tidbit, not the tad bit.
• 34:08
  Matt: The TLDR, if you will.
• 34:10
  Eric: Yes, that the tidbit is the TLDR of a tad bit.
• 34:13
  Matt: Yes, I'm with you on this.
• 34:15
  Matt: Yes, yes, yes, yes.
• 34:16
  Matt: And I think it works in those this the context I was proposing as well, because of what you said.
• 34:21
  Matt: You said if a tad a tad bit feels like a performance, a a tidbit, on the other hand, feels like just a bit.
• 34:31
  Matt: Just a little a little happening.
• 34:34
  Eric: Yes, it's a moment.
• 34:35
  Eric: It's a moment, it's a flash of potential.
• 34:38
  Eric: So a t so a tid in in to me then, it means it's almost like a tid.
• 34:43
  Eric: Like if if a tad is looking through binoculars, a tid is peering through the curtain.
• 34:50
  Matt: Really well done.
• 34:51
  Matt: Really well done, Polonius.
• 34:53
  Matt: I am proud of you.
• 34:54
  Matt: Alas, I am slain.
• 34:58
  Eric: Um greatest writer in the English language.
• 35:03
  Matt: Um if a tad bit is like if you could compare a tad bit to a summer's day.
• 35:12
  Matt: We've lost the fucking plot.
• 35:19
  Eric: Tad bits both alike in dignity.
• 35:23
  Matt: We have lost our Eric, let's just serve it up.
• 35:28
  Eric: Tad is wide, but a tid is shallow.
• 35:31
  Matt: Okay, well, yes.
• 35:34
  Matt: But again, they the original ask was comparing uh what is a tid in regards to a bit.
• 35:46
  Eric: Yeah, and I assumed as part of the word tid.
• 35:49
  Eric: Yes, she said that.
• 35:52
  Eric: Yes.
• 35:52
  Eric: So what so you said tad, and then we went off on this jaunty.
• 35:58
  Eric: Yes, but like so the tid is like if an iPod video circa 2005 is a tad.
• 36:07
  Eric: I don't cook.
• 36:09
  Eric: An iPod mini is a tid.
• 36:12
  Matt: There's a sleekness to a tid.
• 36:15
  Matt: Let me let me ask you a question.
• 36:16
  Eric: Yeah, dog.
• 36:17
  Matt: Do you mean an iPod mini or do you mean an iPod shuffle?
• 36:23
  Eric: An iPod shuffle.
• 36:24
  Eric: I think iPod Mini was a thing, but I mean the sh the little the little fucking rice crispy square.
• 36:31
  Matt: Why?
• 36:31
  Matt: You're looking at a very fond uh former iPod mini owner.
• 36:37
  Eric: You're looking at a current iPod video owner.
• 36:39
  Eric: Mine is downstairs.
• 36:40
  Eric: It is functional.
• 36:42
  Matt: Wow.
• 36:43
  Eric: The ancient technology.
• 36:45
  Eric: Oh, yeah, it is a miracle.
• 36:46
  Eric: It works.
• 36:47
  Matt: It truly is.
• 36:48
  Matt: I have an old my first flip phone from uh uh like high school, like tail end of high school, that I have been trying to find and acquire a working charger for so I can like see what the fuck stupid ass photos are.
• 37:03
  Eric: Oh bro, yes.
• 37:05
  Matt: I've been trying, I have the phone and it sits in this drawer because I'm like, one day I'm gonna find a way to get you back to life.
• 37:13
  Eric: I have on my desk literally in front of me right now a disposable camera that I took on a road trip to Tennessee last year, and I've forgotten entirely.
• 37:22
  Eric: This is full.
• 37:22
  Eric: All the pictures are taken.
• 37:23
  Eric: Well, you can take that to a developer, can't you?
• 37:26
  Eric: Can I?
• 37:28
  Eric: Yeah, I think you still can.
• 37:30
  Eric: I think that's not they're not they still sell these.
• 37:33
  Eric: This was new.
• 37:34
  Eric: No, no, we bought these new for the trip.
• 37:36
  Eric: Um something wrong with your phone?
• 37:38
  Matt: Or you're doing you're doing you're doing an RT.
• 37:42
  Matt: No, but it was fun.
• 37:43
  Eric: We each we each had like there was there was four of us, and one of the one of the one of the there's four of us and one of the one the one of the other people bought one for each.
• 37:52
  Matt: Yeah, you were being mean for the comedy show.
• 37:55
  Matt: I'll tell you this.
• 37:57
  Matt: I'm a tid.
• 37:58
  Matt: You think you're a tid.
• 38:00
  Eric: That's a tad.
• 38:01
  Eric: I'm a I'm a tid.
• 38:02
  Eric: And you think I'm a tad.
• 38:03
  Eric: Oh yeah.
• 38:04
  Eric: Oh you oh come on, tad, dad.
• 38:06
  Eric: Yeah, you're tad.
• 38:07
  Eric: Alright.
• 38:07
  Eric: You're tad now.
• 38:08
  Eric: All right.
• 38:08
  Eric: Now that you're a dad and you eat biscoff, you're a tad, my dude.
• 38:12
  Eric: You're a fucking tad.
• 38:13
  Eric: And it's okay.
• 38:14
  Eric: It's powerful.
• 38:15
  Eric: Even though we compared Biscoff's two tids.
• 38:19
  Matt: Mrs.
• 38:20
  Matt: Liss, I hope we answered the question.
• 38:22
  Eric: I hope we got some somewhere.
• 38:27
  Eric: Yeah, what else you want to say, Eric?
• 38:29
  Eric: A tad is a bong.
• 38:31
  Eric: A tid is a roach.
• 38:33
  Eric: Fascinating.
• 38:35
  Eric: Oh man, they are like that.
• 38:42
  Eric: Uh so we have a segment, don't we, Matt?
• 38:45
  Matt: Yeah, we do, buddy.
• 38:47
  Matt: And we're ready for it, we're prepared for it, but we can't deliver it.
• 38:52
  Eric: No.
• 38:52
  Eric: No, this requires.
• 38:54
  Matt: It requires an expert.
• 38:56
  Eric: It requires a doctor.
• 38:57
  Eric: This requires a doctorate.
• 38:58
  Eric: A doctor and a mother.
• 39:01
  Matt: It requires a mother's touch, does it not?
• 39:04
  Matt: Uh ladies, ladies and gentlemen, it's Dr.
• 39:10
  Matt: Lindsay Arbar.
• 39:11
  Matt: She is back.
• 39:13
  Matt: Yeah.
• 39:14
  Matt: Welcome back to the program.
• 39:16
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Thanks.
• 39:17
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: I'm happy to be here.
• 39:18
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: It's been um almost a year since Lindsay's correction.
• 39:22
  Matt: Holy, yeah.
• 39:23
  Matt: Can you believe it?
• 39:24
  Matt: A whole year without a single mistake, Eric.
• 39:28
  Matt: That is.
• 39:28
  Matt: Yeah, we we made it through.
• 39:30
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: No, I have four.
• 39:32
  Matt: Okay, make us better.
• 39:33
  Matt: Teach us, please.
• 39:34
  Matt: Make us good.
• 39:35
  Matt: Yeah.
• 39:36
  Matt: So you have four corrections for Lindsay's Correction Corner.
• 39:40
  Matt: Okay.
• 39:41
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: And I do have to say that the first correction is actually a crowdsourced correction.
• 39:49
  Matt: Oh, that's interesting.
• 39:51
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: And by that I mean I did not clock that this correction needed to be made.
• 39:56
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: This was sent to me.
• 39:58
  Eric: Who is it?
• 39:58
  Eric: Who is the mole that sent this to you?
• 40:00
  Eric: It's going to be something Star Trek related.
• 40:03
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: And I don't even know this person.
• 40:05
  Eric: You don't even know this person.
• 40:06
  Eric: Oh, you don't even know this person?
• 40:09
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: No.
• 40:09
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: This is a true fan of the show who sent in a correction via my sister.
• 40:15
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: So this person knows my sister.
• 40:16
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: But my sister sent you to the same thing.
• 40:18
  Matt: You're not going to name names.
• 40:20
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: No.
• 40:20
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: I am going to, I hope I'm pronouncing it correctly.
• 40:22
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Um, Alana, Alana?
• 40:24
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: I'm not quite sure.
• 40:26
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: But I'm going to say Alana.
• 40:27
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: That feels safe as well.
• 40:28
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Morris?
• 40:29
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: I don't know why.
• 40:30
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Isn't it ironic?
• 40:34
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: No.
• 40:35
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Um Alana sent this correction to my sister Jennifer.
• 40:40
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Jennifer um was sure to say when she texted me, and I feel like I need to read this to you because you'll appreciate this, but I didn't pull it up in advance.
• 40:52
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: So now we're vamping.
• 40:54
  Matt: Yeah, that's the show.
• 40:57
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: On Thursday, October 23rd, so almost a year ago, my sister Jennifer uh texted me.
• 41:03
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: She doesn't like being called Jennifer.
• 41:05
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: I'd just call her that Jen.
• 41:07
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Um said, I have been sent a correction for your correction corner for the podcast.
• 41:11
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: It's from Alana, a friend of mine who loves the show.
• 41:14
  Matt: Ah.
• 41:15
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Thank you, Alana.
• 41:16
  Matt: Thank you, Alana.
• 41:16
  Matt: Sorry about the lana from more side, Jung.
• 41:19
  Matt: In many ways, it it should make you feel like you're part of the family, I'd say.
• 41:24
  Matt: Yeah.
• 41:25
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Oh, wait, I didn't find the episode number.
• 41:28
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: It's the Halloween episode from last year.
• 41:30
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Oh, that's it's the Halloween episode from last year.
• 41:33
  Matt: You all remember.
• 41:34
  Matt: That'll be episode 127.
• 41:37
  Matt: Nudity Ruins Movies.
• 41:41
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Um, at one hour and eight minutes in, you are talking about Hocus Pocus 2.
• 41:46
  Eric: Yeah.
• 41:47
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: And you're talking about, and I quote specifically from Eric Poach, uh, that Hocus Pocus 2 is, quote, dog shit fan service of the worst kind.
• 41:57
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: They couldn't pull Doug Jones to get him back as Billy Bush, end quote.
• 42:02
  Eric: Oh, Billy Butcherson.
• 42:03
  Eric: Okay, okay.
• 42:05
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: The text I received from my sister, well, via my sister, is they said Doug Jones was not in Hocus Pocus 2.
• 42:13
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: That is a big fat lie.
• 42:15
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: He did reprise his role as Billy Butcherson and was thrilled about it.
• 42:19
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: I have done my own independent research, as all good scholars do.
• 42:23
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: And I can confirm that Doug Jones was indeed in Hocus Pocus 2.
• 42:28
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: And I could not find that he was happy about it.
• 42:30
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: I couldn't find anything explicit, and since I can't cite it, we're not citing it.
• 42:34
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: But nonetheless, he was in the film and you are wrong.
• 42:36
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: And that's it.
• 42:37
  Eric: How long was he in it for?
• 42:38
  Eric: Do we have a screen time stat?
• 42:40
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: I couldn't possibly tell you.
• 42:42
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: I didn't research that deeply.
• 42:43
  Eric: Well, because this matters to me.
• 42:44
  Eric: Because I I'm trying to like, was he like an integral part of the plot, or was he like in the background for like, oh hey, it's me, Billy Butterson.
• 42:51
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Are you saying ensemble members don't matter?
• 42:54
  Eric: Ooh, Lindsay.
• 42:56
  Eric: No, what I'm saying is the dopamine addict that is my brain needs needs consistent visual stimuli.
• 43:05
  Eric: I could have missed anything.
• 43:08
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Sounds like you just said that extras are expendable.
• 43:11
  Matt: Yikes, Eric.
• 43:12
  Matt: Yikes in 2026.
• 43:15
  Matt: Uh, the AI overview, useless, won't tell me the exact amount of time.
• 43:21
  Matt: Says it can't be calculated.
• 43:24
  Matt: Oh, but we're gonna let that pass.
• 43:26
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: We're gonna let that go.
• 43:27
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: If there is a punishment to be had, you should make poach watch the film uh to find out how long he's in it.
• 43:35
  Matt: Uh yes.
• 43:35
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Did we see Hocus Pocus 2, Matt?
• 43:37
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: No.
• 43:37
  Matt: Fuck no.
• 43:38
  Matt: No, okay.
• 43:39
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: We barely saw Hocus Pocus 1.
• 43:44
  Eric: Alana, I appreciate you.
• 43:47
  Eric: I will I will re-watch Hocus.
• 43:49
  Eric: It's we're we're entering spooky season.
• 43:52
  Eric: I'm I'm I will rewatch it and I will document for how many minutes Billy Butcherson played by Eric.
• 44:00
  Matt: The indomitable Doug Jones is on screen.
• 44:03
  Matt: This is fascinating.
• 44:04
  Matt: I look forward to you remembering to do this.
• 44:07
  Matt: Oh, yeah.
• 44:07
  Matt: No, no.
• 44:09
  Matt: Steel trap.
• 44:10
  Matt: Let me ask you something.
• 44:11
  Matt: This is a real question, Eric.
• 44:12
  Matt: Yeah.
• 44:13
  Matt: Because like all great storytellers, we are in fact recording the end of the beginning.
• 44:18
  Matt: Yes.
• 44:19
  Matt: Did you turn your lights on in your room just because Lindsay's here?
• 44:23
  Matt: Yes, I did.
• 44:26
  Matt: Lindsay, you gotta understand.
• 44:28
  Matt: I had to clean up for company.
• 44:30
  Matt: Lindsay, you gotta understand.
• 44:32
  Matt: Most of the time I barely see poach on these recordings.
• 44:36
  Matt: Shrouded in darkness.
• 44:37
  Matt: We might as well have cameras off.
• 44:41
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: He said, I need to be professional for a professional lady.
• 44:44
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Thank you so much.
• 44:45
  Eric: Yes.
• 44:46
  Eric: If we're I'm gonna be hosting, I need to have the lights.
• 44:49
  Matt: At least hey, at least uh at least I was able to see right through that veneer.
• 44:55
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: You do I know this is an audio medium, so people can't see this, but you do have like patterns on patterns on patterns.
• 45:00
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Poach is wearing a t-shirt.
• 45:03
  Matt: Oh, interesting.
• 45:04
  Matt: I didn't even invite the criticism.
• 45:05
  Matt: Oh, I oh yeah.
• 45:06
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: It's not a criticism.
• 45:07
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: I didn't say it was bad.
• 45:09
  Matt: No, there's just many going on.
• 45:11
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Yeah, he's wearing a gray shirt that has like black or blue palm trees all over it.
• 45:16
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: And then he's sitting in front of a green wall that has a window, and in the frame there's a set of curtains that look like they have leaves and hearts on them.
• 45:25
  Eric: Yeah.
• 45:25
  Eric: I think those are hearts.
• 45:27
  Eric: No, they're like uh they're just they're berries.
• 45:30
  Matt: They're just like the curtains imitating them.
• 45:33
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Do you live in this room?
• 45:34
  Matt: Yeah, yeah.
• 45:35
  Matt: Let's just peep the pattern on that unmade bed back there.
• 45:38
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Yeah, the cut the the the plaid comforter.
• 45:41
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: The plaid comforter is really doing some work.
• 45:42
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Yeah, the plaid comforter?
• 45:43
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Okay.
• 45:44
  Eric: But I had to I had to double check the curtains I hung in my own room.
• 45:48
  Matt: Can I tell you a fucked up thing from an old uh job that when I was uh it's still a remote job, and there was somebody who this middle of the pandemic, mind you, um was told that this was a a woman who was uh working out of her uh like office that was also her bedroom, right?
• 46:07
  Matt: So in the background of her shot was a made bed, and she was told that this was like before virtual backgrounds were like so easily prevalent.
• 46:19
  Matt: Yeah, she was basically told that like you're making the clients uncomfortable because they're the because vis-a-vis the existence of your beds of the existence of your fucking bed, and so she had to get she had to get like a changing screen behind her as her like her like a silk screen that just came flooding back into my brain, and I had to share it.
• 46:46
  Matt: Lindsay, any other corrections?
• 46:49
  Matt: Yeah, three more, in fact.
• 46:51
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Oh Gloria Stinum did not fight for this, by the way.
• 46:54
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: That bad comment.
• 46:55
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Uh R.I.P.
• 46:56
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Thank you.
• 46:56
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Uh Gloria Stinum.
• 46:58
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Yes.
• 46:58
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: In episode 100, so the rest are for me.
• 47:01
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Um episode 132, 17 minutes in.
• 47:05
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Uh, you are talking about marriage and you're talking about like proposing things like you two are talking about it's the question about the witness protection program.
• 47:16
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: How long would you wait to tell someone?
• 47:18
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: And so you're talking about how long you've been with your respective partners.
• 47:20
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: And I do have a correction for Matt because Matt, no one, by the way, uh-oh.
• 47:26
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: No one starts going in on Matt.
• 47:28
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: By no one, I mean Poach, the only other person he's talking to.
• 47:32
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Um, Poach does not go in on Matt asking him like about the timeline of our dating or anything.
• 47:38
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Matt offers this in uh defensively, right?
• 47:42
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Matt's like, I know I waited so long to propose.
• 47:44
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: I know I don't no one's accusing you.
• 47:47
  Matt: I do remember that coming out of nowhere on the on this episode of the podcast, I can't I was defensive for no reason.
• 47:54
  Matt: But what people have to understand is in my life, people are like nine years, and you know, you know, I so it that was that was baggage I brought into the episode, and I apologize to you, Eric.
• 48:08
  Matt: I accept, grudgingly, but I do accept.
• 48:11
  Matt: Thank you.
• 48:12
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: This is my Christian.
• 48:13
  Matt: Anyway, what did I fuck up about?
• 48:16
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: You you said we were dating for nine years when we got engaged and ten years when we got married.
• 48:22
  Matt: In reality, it was like nine years and change that that between we being together and me proposing.
• 48:30
  Matt: And I recognize that uh that that is a longer time than some people might wait.
• 48:37
  Matt: Uh there were all kinds of reasons, by the way, but uh we won't get into that.
• 48:42
  Eric: Sure.
• 48:42
  Matt: Uh shut the hey, hey, are you coming for me?
• 48:45
  Matt: No, are you fucking on the same team, Rex?
• 48:47
  Eric: We're on the same team, my guy.
• 48:49
  Eric: God, so I'm with you.
• 48:52
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: That is not correct.
• 48:52
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: You actually uh gave yourself too little credit.
• 48:56
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: We were only dating for seven and a half years when you proposed, and just shy of nine years when we got married.
• 49:04
  Matt: Okay.
• 49:04
  Matt: Okay.
• 49:05
  Matt: Duh.
• 49:06
  Matt: Yeah, I jumped right in there.
• 49:08
  Matt: Lickety split, as it turns out.
• 49:10
  Matt: Well, might as well have been a weekend.
• 49:16
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: And we and that that's Matt where you say, and we knew from the beginning, so it would have been.
• 49:21
  Matt: I mean, if you want to get all cutesy wootsy, we kind of did know from the beginning because uh like what was it?
• 49:28
  Matt: Like the first weekend, I was like, you know what's crazy?
• 49:31
  Matt: We could be done.
• 49:32
  Matt: Like looking This could be it.
• 49:34
  Matt: This could be it.
• 49:35
  Matt: And as soon as I said it, I went, What the fuck did I say that?
• 49:38
  Matt: I am the dumbest man.
• 49:41
  Matt: But as it turns out, we made a baby, so here we are.
• 49:44
  Eric: And now you're just the luckiest man.
• 49:47
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: I remember once, again, uh the baby who I'm literally looking at the monitor just touched his face.
• 49:52
  Eric: No, no, no.
• 49:54
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: I remember once, like two months in, we both were like, You have blue eyes, I have blue eyes.
• 49:58
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: We're gonna have beautiful blue-eyed babies, and both of us were like, hold on.
• 50:03
  Matt: Whoa.
• 50:03
  Matt: Boundaries.
• 50:05
  Matt: Yeah, that's true.
• 50:06
  Matt: I do remember that.
• 50:06
  Matt: We're like, are we having this conversation right now?
• 50:09
  Matt: Are we two?
• 50:09
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Yeah, like two weeks in, and then now we have a baby that has beautiful blue eyes.
• 50:13
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: He does.
• 50:13
  Eric: Um those, oh my god, those baby blues.
• 50:18
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: So that's my correction.
• 50:20
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: You didn't give yourself enough credit, Matthew.
• 50:21
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: You know what?
• 50:22
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: I apologize to you.
• 50:23
  Eric: And Dark Child.
• 50:24
  Eric: Okay, yeah, but give him like a savage one now.
• 50:27
  Eric: Uh could I give more reading mat to filth in the monitor?
• 50:32
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Someone with cute cards shows up in the background.
• 50:34
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Um Jaws the turtle in the background.
• 50:36
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Uh, okay, episode 135.
• 50:38
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: So these came in quick succession.
• 50:40
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Sorry about that.
• 50:41
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Um, 33 minutes in, you all are talking about Mambo's number one through four.
• 50:47
  Matt: Oh, yeah, that was a good one.
• 50:49
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: And so you're saying that Mambo number one is like he's in high school getting his GED.
• 50:55
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: And so Mambo number two is when he's in college.
• 50:59
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: And you're talking about narrative we spun.
• 51:01
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: I can pause for the self-congratulation if you'd like.
• 51:05
  Matt: No, thanks.
• 51:05
  Matt: I'll spread them out.
• 51:06
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Whoa.
• 51:06
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Okay.
• 51:09
  Eric: I don't know if it's worse that you you said that or that you were right to say it.
• 51:15
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Math response, no thanks.
• 51:17
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: I'll spread them out.
• 51:18
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Jesus Christ.
• 51:24
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Okay.
• 51:24
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Uh back to me.
• 51:25
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: This is Lindsay's Correction Corner.
• 51:27
  Eric: Thank you, Doctor.
• 51:28
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: So you're talking about how he was sort of like wild and out in college, he's punching people.
• 51:33
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: And I think it's poach who goes on, he gets pun, you know, he punches someone, he gets expelled, he's accused of plagiarism, his academic integrity is questioned.
• 51:42
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: And so the bursar calls his parents.
• 51:44
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Plagiarized.
• 51:46
  Eric: Ooh.
• 51:47
  Eric: Expelled.
• 51:48
  Eric: Okay.
• 51:49
  Eric: So so Mambo.
• 51:50
  Matt: Academic integrity down the drain.
• 51:57
  Eric: But the bursa's got my parents on the phone.
• 52:00
  Eric: Um yeah, so this is gonna punch the burser in the face.
• 52:08
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Well, I would tell you, as someone who is perhaps against my better judgment, very involved in higher education bureaucracy, uh, in no world would the burser be calling your parents if you were expelled.
• 52:23
  Eric: That's embarrassing.
• 52:24
  Eric: A burser does all the money stuff.
• 52:29
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Does the money stuff specifically with regard to students and getting tuition payments?
• 52:33
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Very specifically.
• 52:34
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Because burser, this I learned in my research for this correction.
• 52:40
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Burser comes from the Latin word bursa, which means purse.
• 52:43
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: That's Lindsay's fun fact corner.
• 52:49
  Matt: If there was, and there probably is some sort of like uh college and university edition of Monopoly, but if there was one that was like real deep in the weeds of academia, very narrow audience for this board game.
• 53:04
  Matt: Yeah.
• 53:04
  Matt: But like I think in that world, would not the banker be called the burser?
• 53:09
  Matt: Oh, absolutely would have been.
• 53:12
  Matt: Yeah, I really dug for it, but I thought it was worth bringing up.
• 53:16
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Okay.
• 53:16
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Um, my last one is from one of the most recent episodes, episode 146.
• 53:23
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Uh 22 minutes in.
• 53:27
  Matt: Needed to fill out the correction corner, huh?
• 53:29
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Uh no, there was no.
• 53:32
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: I don't need to.
• 53:33
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Your wrongness fills itself out.
• 53:36
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: I don't need to grasp it.
• 53:38
  Eric: Get him.
• 53:38
  Eric: Get him.
• 53:39
  Eric: Shut the fuck up.
• 53:40
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: It it comes, it comes to me.
• 53:42
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: It finds me.
• 53:43
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: I don't find it.
• 53:44
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: You understand?
• 53:45
  Matt: Yeah.
• 53:45
  Matt: I do know.
• 53:46
  Matt: I do understand.
• 53:47
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Episode 146.
• 53:48
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Yes.
• 53:49
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: About 22 minutes in.
• 53:51
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Uh, you're talking about MLMs.
• 53:54
  Matt: Oh, yeah.
• 53:55
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: I don't actually remember the context, but you're talking about MLSM.
• 53:57
  Matt: I know the I know the correction already.
• 53:59
  Matt: What what do you think it is?
• 54:00
  Matt: Poach messed up the the the acronym.
• 54:03
  Matt: He called it something else at first.
• 54:05
  Matt: But I thought he corrected it something.
• 54:06
  Matt: Because it's multi-level marketing.
• 54:07
  Matt: What did I call it?
• 54:08
  Matt: No, it's not multi-level marketing.
• 54:10
  Matt: No, it is, but I you you said like MCM or something.
• 54:14
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Oh, I did.
• 54:15
  Eric: I remember it.
• 54:15
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: But I thought you corrected it.
• 54:17
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: No.
• 54:18
  Eric: No.
• 54:18
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: You call it multi-layer marketing.
• 54:21
  Eric: Multi-layer marketing.
• 54:23
  Eric: Now get the fuck out.
• 54:25
  Eric: To triangulate the secret society.
• 54:27
  Eric: Did we just invent MSMs?
• 54:30
  Eric: We could have.
• 54:31
  Eric: Did we just do multi-layer market?
• 54:33
  Eric: Sorry, MLMs.
• 54:34
  Eric: Multi-layer marketing.
• 54:34
  Eric: Yes, I was gonna correct it.
• 54:35
  Eric: The long way around.
• 54:36
  Eric: The long way.
• 54:37
  Matt: MLM's the long way.
• 54:39
  Matt: Oh, you didn't correct it right.
• 54:44
  Matt: You were wrong twice.
• 54:46
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: What?
• 54:47
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: You were you said it you said multi-layer twice in quick succession.
• 54:50
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: It is indeed multi-level marketing.
• 54:53
  Eric: Multi-level marketing.
• 54:55
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: While someone, a fool, could argue that those are close enough words that they mean the same thing.
• 55:03
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: I would argue they do not.
• 55:04
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Because Yeah, we're no fools.
• 55:06
  Eric: You would argue that words mean things.
• 55:09
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Because the levels of the multi-level marketing scheme is very specific, right?
• 55:14
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Like the lower level has to feed into the top levels for the pyramid scheme tour.
• 55:18
  Eric: It has to have the hierarchy.
• 55:20
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Yeah, it's not layer.
• 55:21
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Um it's level.
• 55:23
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: So those are my corrections.
• 55:25
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: One uh sent in from fans.
• 55:29
  Matt: And honestly, that is new ground that we've broken.
• 55:32
  Matt: And I this is I think we're better off for it.
• 55:34
  Matt: Yeah, yeah.
• 55:36
  Eric: This we needed this.
• 55:37
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Uh maybe as I don't know if this is a perk.
• 55:40
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: I don't know if being able to reach me as a perk, but um maybe for the um Patreon people, yeah, maybe you tell them that like uh we can only accept corrections to Lindsay's Correction Corner if through the Discord on Patreon.
• 55:55
  Matt: Oh, if they DM you through Discord.
• 55:57
  Matt: Well, I was gonna say don't DM me.
• 56:00
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Don't DM me because I don't open Discord.
• 56:02
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Um, but you can tell Matt.
• 56:03
  Matt: Now, why would you say that?
• 56:05
  Matt: You know, like on the one hand, you were like sort of uh doing a really good favor to us by being like, oh yeah, join the Patreon, and then be like, not that I give a shit.
• 56:15
  Eric: No, but Matt, she is she is acting in accordance with a cornerstone of this podcast, which she is outsourcing her labor.
• 56:23
  Eric: Yes, that's true.
• 56:24
  Eric: That is one of the tenants.
• 56:25
  Eric: Gotta outsource the bit labor.
• 56:27
  Eric: To Matt specifically, no is this a multi-level marketing scheme?
• 56:32
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: We are the lower tiers.
• 56:34
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Um, the thing I feel like I have to defend myself.
• 56:38
  Eric: Okay.
• 56:39
  Eric: Please.
• 56:40
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: The Discord is a valuable addition to the Patreon community.
• 56:43
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: You should join Patreon $1 a month or $4 a month, $4 a month.
• 56:46
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: But what I will say is I am an unusual human in 2026 in that I do not receive notifications on my phone for anything that is not breaking news.
• 56:57
  Eric: Good on you.
• 56:58
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: So this is why I don't open Discord because I forget I have Discord because I get no notifications.
• 57:02
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: The only notifications that push to my phone are text messages and breaking news.
• 57:06
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Everything else I don't need to know about.
• 57:09
  Eric: So Well, you know what's it like being this powerful?
• 57:15
  Matt: What's it like having your shit this together?
• 57:17
  Matt: I have to.
• 57:18
  Matt: This is a Matt's correction corner.
• 57:20
  Matt: You do get notifications in the form of your husband getting notifications and then saying them to you.
• 57:27
  Matt: Outsource your labor.
• 57:29
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: I my mental my mental load is too heavy already.
• 57:33
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: I can't do this.
• 57:34
  Eric: I've been used.
• 57:35
  Eric: Welcome to Poach's affirmation corner.
• 57:38
  Eric: Lindsay, you are radiant.
• 57:39
  Eric: You're powerful, you are unstoppable.
• 57:44
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Thank you.
• 57:45
  Eric: Three so far.
• 57:48
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: No, because why I don't I don't need to know those things.
• 57:52
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: And so I my best friend Sarah.
• 57:55
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Sarah Feldman, former guest of the show.
• 57:58
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Works in so and if you haven't heard Poach's AMA about farm work, you could hear about Sarah and the CSA he works for.
• 58:05
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Yeah.
• 58:05
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Natty Plug.
• 58:06
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: The where was I going with this?
• 58:12
  Matt: It's not important to know.
• 58:14
  Matt: Yes, it is.
• 58:15
  Matt: Just let it flow.
• 58:16
  Matt: That's what we do.
• 58:18
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Where was I going with this?
• 58:19
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: I was talking about Matt.
• 58:20
  Matt: Now, Poach, you gotta understand this exact conversation happens in this house all the time.
• 58:25
  Matt: Of what was what was I trying to say?
• 58:28
  Matt: Because neither of our brains are quite firing on all cylinders.
• 58:34
  Eric: Understandably so.
• 58:36
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Wait, in you doing that I forgot.
• 58:39
  Eric: And my point exactly.
• 58:41
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Oh, notifications.
• 58:42
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Okay.
• 58:43
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Yes.
• 58:44
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: We got there.
• 58:45
  Eric: Who needs them?
• 58:46
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: So my friend Sarah works in social media, and so she necessarily has to like be on social media frequently and she has to get lots of notifications and all these things.
• 58:55
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: And she she would always joke because I before having a baby, I check it even less now, but before having a baby, I would check Instagram once a day.
• 59:03
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: And it was in the morning when I woke up, I'd give a scroll, I'd see all this stuff.
• 59:08
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: If you sent me something on Instagram between 7 a.m.
• 59:12
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: and 7 a.m., didn't see it.
• 59:15
  Matt: Yeah.
• 59:15
  Matt: It's lost of time.
• 59:17
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Lost of time.
• 59:17
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: And so Well, and so 7 a.m.
• 59:20
  Matt: the next day.
• 59:21
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Sarah would send me something via Instagram and then she'd text me to say, you'll really like that tomorrow.
• 59:26
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Or like, here's the thing I sent you, you really like it tomorrow.
• 59:28
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Or if it's time sensitive, someone will send me something on Matt will do this too.
• 59:32
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Someone will send me something on Instagram and then will text me or tell me, like, hey, I sent you something on Instagram.
• 59:38
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Can you look at it?
• 59:39
  Matt: I definitely do that because I I'm a man of the moment.
• 59:43
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Would recommend turning off notifications to your phone.
• 59:45
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: It's very liberating.
• 59:46
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Except for breaking news.
• 59:47
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: That is important to know.
• 59:48
  Matt: Yeah.
• 59:48
  Matt: Amen.
• 59:49
  Matt: I have the opposite.
• 59:51
  Matt: I have many notifications.
• 59:53
  Matt: Um, perhaps it uh has contributed to some of my crippling anxiety.
• 59:58
  Matt: Who can say?
• 59:59
  Matt: Unfortunately, there's no way to know.
• 1:00:02
  Matt: Dr.
• 1:00:02
  Matt: Lindsay Arbar, thank you for stopping by our humble little show.
• 1:00:08
  Matt: Thank you for making us good.
• 1:00:10
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Thanks.
• 1:00:10
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: I wasn't as funny this time, but I'm tired.
• 1:00:14
  Matt: First of all, snaps the truth.
• 1:00:16
  Matt: Yes.
• 1:00:17
  Matt: Yes.
• 1:00:18
  Matt: I was gonna do another bit, but why?
• 1:00:21
  Matt: Why?
• 1:00:22
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: You can just do the bit for me later when I'm, you know, it's an inopportune time and I'm like washing dishes or something, and he'll do it.
• 1:00:29
  Matt: Oh, Jaws is heading downstairs for the day.
• 1:00:31
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: Did you hear him?
• 1:00:32
  Matt: Yeah, we definitely heard him coming down his little ramp.
• 1:00:35
  Matt: And there he is.
• 1:00:36
  Dr. Lindsey R. Barr: He said he's he's done with the bits.
• 1:00:39
  Matt: He low-key Jaws' debut on the podcast after all these years of being mentioned.
• 1:00:45
  Matt: Good on you, bud.
• 1:00:47
  Matt: Alright, that'll about do it for Lindsay.
• 1:00:51
  Matt: Okay, bye.
• 1:00:52
  Matt: Bye, Lindsay.
• 1:00:54
  Eric: We're talking about tids.
• 1:00:55
  Eric: We're talking about tads.
• 1:00:56
  Eric: Don't bring us back to tids and tads.
• 1:00:58
  Eric: No, no, no, no.
• 1:00:59
  Eric: We're talking about tids and tads.
• 1:01:01
  Eric: And like, you know, they're just like that.
• 1:01:08
  Matt: I don't think you understood what I was trying to accomplish.
• 1:01:10
  Matt: No, I f I just seamlessly joined my my own.
• 1:01:13
  Matt: I don't think you understood what I was trying to get you to do.
• 1:01:16
  Matt: I was trying to get you to go out of the closing segment and into the business area of the podcast.
• 1:01:25
  Matt: Uh-huh.
• 1:01:25
  Matt: Yeah, we're gonna seamlessly transition out of that now.
• 1:01:29
  Eric: Oh, at the oh, see, I front-loaded my transition.
• 1:01:32
  Eric: So wait, no, so I thought it was gonna be we ended this question.
• 1:01:35
  Eric: Okay.
• 1:01:37
  Eric: Wow.
• 1:01:38
  Eric: And then in the middle of wow, you should just cut two.
• 1:01:42
  Eric: Oh, now you're giving me edit notes.
• 1:01:45
  Matt: Uh might.
• 1:01:46
  Matt: Listen, folks, we need your questions.
• 1:01:48
  Matt: We need them.
• 1:01:49
  Matt: We need and and this is this is the business, Eric.
• 1:01:53
  Matt: This we're we're we're doing it.
• 1:01:54
  Matt: I will choose where to bring you in.
• 1:01:58
  Matt: Okay.
• 1:01:58
  Matt: Okay.
• 1:01:59
  Matt: Okay.
• 1:02:00
  Matt: Yeah.
• 1:02:00
  Matt: Yeah, that's big tad energy.
• 1:02:03
  Matt: You piss off.
• 1:02:04
  Matt: I can't wait.
• 1:02:05
  Matt: I literally can't fucking wait.
• 1:02:07
  Eric: I'm so fucking pissed that I don't.
• 1:02:09
  Eric: I have two, Matt.
• 1:02:10
  Eric: I have two fucking bars of really nice chocolate downstairs that I was really excited about.
• 1:02:17
  Eric: And now this is my fucking first world problem.
• 1:02:20
  Eric: I'm gonna be going downstairs furious.
• 1:02:23
  Eric: And you should not go down to a fucking big one.
• 1:02:25
  Matt: And you should, because I'm a prince and you right now, pauper.
• 1:02:29
  Matt: Now, the damn we need your questions.
• 1:02:33
  Matt: Send them to us uh on the Discord, if you will.
• 1:02:37
  Matt: If you join the Patreon, as Dr.
• 1:02:39
  Matt: Lindsay already said, one dollar a month can get you into the Discord.
• 1:02:43
  Matt: And the $4 a month gets you some uh sweet bonus episodes and bonus content.
• 1:02:50
  Matt: And 20% off merchandise at the steward.
• 1:02:53
  Matt: Uh and you can find all that through you didn't ask for this uh dot com or uh patreon.com slash you didn't ask for this if you want to go straight to the Patreon.
• 1:03:03
  Matt: Uh but of course you can call the thought line at Eric 410-929-5329.
• 1:03:08
  Eric: Nice, nice, nice.
• 1:03:09
  Eric: I did it! I did it.
• 1:03:10
  Eric: I legitimately I did.
• 1:03:11
  Eric: It was the first time I didn't even I didn't look at my phone.
• 1:03:14
  Eric: No, you didn't.
• 1:03:15
  Eric: Did you see the moment like in the 10 seconds later?
• 1:03:18
  Matt: That's where I was like, oh shit.
• 1:03:20
  Matt: I saw and that's Eric, that's what I'm fucking talking about.
• 1:03:23
  Matt: Because you didn't think about it.
• 1:03:24
  Matt: You just knew that's fuck yes, God.
• 1:03:28
  Matt: Well done, Eric.
• 1:03:29
  Matt: And we should reward him by calling that number.
• 1:03:32
  Matt: Please call the thought line.
• 1:03:35
  Eric: Call us with your biscoff snack innovations.
• 1:03:38
  Matt: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
• 1:03:41
  Matt: Yeah.
• 1:03:41
  Matt: So from all of us here, that and I just want to say, I want to apologize to uh Dr.
• 1:03:46
  Matt: Lindsay Arbar for the uh chaotic episode that we've we recorded after her bid, uh, because she deserves honestly, she deserved a better uh uh preamble than Pooh Poo Talk.
• 1:03:59
  Matt: But you know, what are you gonna do?
• 1:04:02
  Eric: I I would also like to take this moment to tell Dr.
• 1:04:06
  Eric: and Mother Lindsay Arbar that she is welcome because of the 45-50 minutes preceding Lindsay's Correction Corner will only make Lindsay's Correction Corner shine that much brighter as the diamond it is.
• 1:04:22
  Eric: That's true.
• 1:04:23
  Matt: It is the in this because this this truly has been an off the rails episode.
• 1:04:30
  Matt: But that will about do it for this episode of You didn't ask for this.
• 1:04:33
  Matt: My name's Matt Shea.
• 1:04:34
  Matt: My name's Eric Post.
• 1:04:36
  Eric: Listen, you didn't ask.
• 1:04:37
  Eric: But uh just so like so when I mentioned earlier that I did a graham cracker crust with the biscoff.
• 1:04:43
  Eric: Yeah, here's what it was for.
• 1:04:44
  Eric: Uh, I made banana toffee pie.
• 1:04:47
  Eric: So, like I Matt, I I I I could I you to take a can of sweetened condensed milk, you put it in a pot full of water, you boil that can, like just in a pot of water, make sure the water's covering the can entirely, otherwise it could explode.
• 1:05:04
  Eric: Okay.
• 1:05:04
  Eric: Um, you boil that can for like three hours, you pop the can open, outpours the most decadent fucking like toffee dulce de leche thing you ever do.
• 1:05:16
  Eric: You spread that over a pie crust, slice up bananas, layer on top of that, and then as desired, some people put this on and leave it all like then it gets all weird, like texture-wise.
• 1:05:30
  Eric: But just whenever you go to have a slice of that, top it with cool whip to fucking change your life.
• 1:05:35
  Eric: Banana toffee pie.
• 1:05:37
  Eric: And that was on a crust that I made that was just butter and pulverized biscoff cookies.
• 1:05:43
  Matt: And and like I said, was I don't think I actually got around to saying it, but I picture a biscuff crusted cheesecake.
• 1:05:53
  Eric: Oh my god.
• 1:05:54
  Matt: They've gotta have that at Cheesecake Factory.
• 1:05:56
  Matt: Please, Cheesecake Factory.
• 1:05:58
  Matt: I'm gonna Google it right now.
• 1:06:00
  Matt: The next and I will say, since I got my Biscoff fascination, it seems like it's everywhere.
• 1:06:05
  Eric: It has in like the past, like slowly over the course of the past, like, I'd say five, six years, like pretty much like since the pandemic, has has crept more and more into the snack zeitgeist.
• 1:06:19
  Eric: It was a relatively obscure cookie among the common clay.
• 1:06:23
  Matt: It was given away on flights for a long time.
• 1:06:27
  Eric: Yes.
• 1:06:27
  Eric: It it like it I feel like people often written it off because you were usually getting it in the context of like, oh, this is my in-flight cookie.
• 1:06:34
  Eric: But then like you actually got.
• 1:06:35
  Matt: Not baby, that cookie takes flight.
• 1:06:38
  Eric: Yeah.
• 1:06:38
  Eric: Yes, Matthew.
• 1:06:40
  Eric: Yes, it does.
• 1:06:41
  Eric: Yes, Matthew.
• 1:06:42
  Eric: Yes.
• 1:06:43
  Eric: You ever put whipped cream on one?
• 1:06:45
  Matt: Just whipped cream.
• 1:06:46
  Matt: I'm taking you to you put you like a cool whip, ready whip right onto a biscot.
• 1:06:50
  Matt: Slide that, just slide it down.
• 1:06:51
  Matt: Just slide it out.
• 1:06:52
  Eric: I'd slide it down.
• 1:06:53
  Eric: I'd slide that shit right the fuck down.
• 1:06:55
  Eric: Out isn't the only direction.