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The Fifth Hour: Benny the Burrito Baller · The Ben Maller Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Cutbooms.
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  Speaker 2: If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: of the old republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to Clearinghouse of
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: with Ben Mahler starts right now.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: In the air everywhere.
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  Speaker 3: The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben Mahler and Danny g Radio,
• 0:35
  Speaker 3: who will join us at some point over the weekend.
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: I hope you're doing well. We thank you for listening.
• 0:40
  Speaker 3: All of my shameless promotion on the radio show has
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: inspired you to come over here to the podcast world,
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: where I can say bad words. I've chosen not to
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: do that. If you go back, I know Lucky Tony
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: listens to a lot of the older stuff that's available.
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: I think the farthest back you can listen is twenty seventeen,
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: and you'll hear me cursing somewhat on those podcasts. Now,
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: I don't curse very much at all on the Fifth
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: Hour podcast anymore. It's a long story, but if you
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: want to know why, I'll let you know, but I'm
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: not going to get to that right now.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: So it's a good sporting day to day.
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  Speaker 3: We had a good show last night on the Overnight
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: talking about a lot of the action, Joe Flacco outperforming expectations,
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: and the Bengals getting it done against Aaron Rogers and
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: the Pittsburgh Steelers, which was shockingly entertaining for a consumer
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: of athletic competition.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: So we had that.
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: In the baseball games, I'm a baseball guy. I loved
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: the playoffs. Not a great game between Toronto and Seattle,
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: the Dodgers competitive, but still.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: You knew the Dodgers were going to win in the end.
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: And now, as bad as the Dodgers play, as terrible
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: as the Dodgers were for much of the regular season
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: in terms of underachieving not meeting expectations, they are one
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: win away and likely by the end of the day
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: today will end up in the World Series yet again.
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: So the lesson there is that you don't need to
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: work hard every day. The lesson is that you just
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: kind of show up and coast along and then it's
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: kind of like college where in college, you know it's
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: kind of haveav.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: A good time and all that, and then make sure
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: you do well in the finals and you're fine, You're good.
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: So there you go on this podcast today you and
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: I will explore put me in coach, I think I
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: can play, and soggy croissants.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: We'll begin with this though.
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: The day the coaches ran up the score and the
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: whistle blew on me the guy you're listening to, so
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: they say, I don't know who they are.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: They say that scoreboards don't.
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  Speaker 3: Matter in these kind of games, right, They just it's
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: a friendly, as they say in soccer, that is.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: A lie lie lie, lie, lie lie.
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: They matter very much when one side leads twenty two
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  Speaker 3: to nothing and the other is looking like a group
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: of bystanders trying to catch the five fifteen train out
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: of town. So I bring this up because earlier this week,
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: the coaching staff of the Boston Celtics, led by the
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: coach known as let him Play Joe Joe Missoula, a
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: man who looks like he could guard a baseline the
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: way Paul Blart mall cop guards a mall. So listen,
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: demolished this group, demolished the assembled media in what was
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: advertised as a friendly game of basketball at the r
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: Box Center, and I've been by there a few times
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: in my trips to Boston. That's the training facility of
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: the Celtics, and right across the way there was the
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: facility where the Bruins train.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: I don't know if that's still the case or not.
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  Speaker 3: But friendly is a way to describe it as friendly.
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: I guess, as you might say a bear will smile
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: at a salmon. You see those videos from Alaska and
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: the Bears eating a salmon, just standing there, just enjoying it.
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: Final score of that media basketball game was fifty seven
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: to four. Now you know a game has gone sideways
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  Speaker 3: when the only thing anyone on the losing team can
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: agree on is who gets to keep the one made
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: basket as a highlight right now. The Celtic coaches were
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: not just coaches.
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  Speaker 1: They were not They were ringers.
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  Speaker 3: They had Emil Jefferson, who I'm told as a former
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: McDonald's All American.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: He played at Duke. They don't let trumps play at Duke.
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  Speaker 3: Phil Presley, who I remember when he was playing for
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  Speaker 3: the Celtics and other teams. He was running the offense
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: with the Celtics. Now, they weren't great at that time.
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: God sham God, one of the great names, who was
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: a literal basketball royalty. It's in it.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: It's his bloodline right there.
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: And then you had Joe Missoula, who once dragged West
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: Virginia deep in the NCAACH. I think they made the
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: final four. It's like the first time they had made
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: it since nineteen fifty nine. And then there was the media,
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: a hodgepodge of flotsam and jetsam, A couple of riders
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: over there, a fat radio guy, a hipster podcaster, some
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: camera people, collection of elbows and sneakers and beard bellies.
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  Speaker 1: Now, why did I bring this up? Because it reminded me.
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  Speaker 3: It triggered a memory that I wanted to share with
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: you on the podcast. So it reminded me of my
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: own humbling at the altar of basketball mediocrity.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: We go way way, way, way, way way.
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: Way back in the hot tub time machine the day
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  Speaker 3: Bill Fitch blew the whistle on me. You don't forget
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: the sound of that whistle. It was a special was
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: a cut through the gym, It cut through the noise.
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: It cut right through your heart, right through your self esteem,
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: like a butter knife through those discount sheet cakes that
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: you get right. I mean, this thing was big, and
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: I was like, put me in, coach, I think I
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: can play, and let yes, I can't. Long before, long
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: before yours truly became the self proclaimed General of Degenerates,
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: the Tycoon of teas, the master of disaster, Long before
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: Overnight Radio, long before the Malord Militia was even a thing,
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  Speaker 3: there was a little bit of a a day that
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: changed a lot.
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  Speaker 1: I don't know how to describe it.
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  Speaker 3: I was just a young radio dork and I was
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: assigned to cover the LA Clippers at training camp. And
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: training camp was down at uc Irvine, a gymnasium called
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: at the time the Brent Events Center because the Brand
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: family donated a lot of money. It was the home
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: of the ant Eaters. Yes, if you're not familiar, the
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: ant Eaters, the only mascot in college sports that sounds
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: like it came from the rejected episode of Sesame Street
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  Speaker 3: after Dark the ant Eaters, and that day it was
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: also that gymnasium. The Brenavan Center was also home to
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: probably the slowest fast break in recorded history.
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  Speaker 1: But let's get to the point, please.
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: When the whistle blew, So we're playing the media basketball game,
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: which is code for a collection of people who write
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: and talk about sports trying to remember how knees work
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  Speaker 3: and how to dribble a basketball and not carry it like.
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  Speaker 1: It's a football.
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: So we didn't play against the coaches, I want to
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: be very clear, which was probably a good thing, because
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: this was the era of the Clippers.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: Were the Clippers a national punch line. They didn't win anything.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: They were a joke.
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  Speaker 3: They were in the draft lottery every year. They were
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: going to rename the Draft Lottery presented by the Clippers.
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: But we were coached that day by Bill Fitch, Hall
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  Speaker 3: of famer NBA lifer, the man who led the Boston
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  Speaker 3: Celtics to a championship with Larry Bird and coach Taquima
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  Speaker 3: lai Jahwan and got to the NBA Finals on this
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  Speaker 3: fateful day. He also coached my fat ass. Now this
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: is the part of the story where I should tell
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: you that in my head I was an elite pre
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: point shooter, a young sniper, and I went into that
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  Speaker 3: day thinking I'm going to impress these guys so much
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  Speaker 3: They're going to offer me a ten day contract. It
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: turns out I wasn't. I was not at that point.
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: Moneyball Maller that would come later. I learned my ability
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  Speaker 3: to shoot much later in life. I was not exactly
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: in game shape. I did not realize that this was
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: a thing. I look like the before photo when you
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: go to the gym. You know, they sign up for
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: memberships at the gym. They signed you up and they said, well,
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: here's like the wall, and here's the people before and after,
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: and they look really fat and disgusting, and the next
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: photo they're totally ripped. I was built at that time
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  Speaker 3: in my life more like a breakfast burrito than a
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: shooting guard. Fleet of foot was not a phrase anyone
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  Speaker 3: was using. So midway through this media game and quotes
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  Speaker 3: Coach Fitch blew the whistle. Now keep in mind, I'm
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  Speaker 3: just trying to stay alive at this point. It wasn't
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: a little too as I said, This was a full throated,
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: gym stopping sound of the whistle. And you know how
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: sound just bounces off a gymnasium, the sound of a
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: basketball dribbling or a whistle, it just echoes to the
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  Speaker 3: whole thing. So everyone froze, and Coach is staring at me.
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  Speaker 3: He then paused for a second, trying to collect his thoughts,
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: and he continued to look at me. He said, in
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  Speaker 3: my entire coaching career, you are the worst player I
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: have ever coached. Now, this is a man who coached
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: teams that went fifteen and sixty seven. He coached the
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: Clippers and the New Jersey Nets when they were in
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: the sewer, and somehow, some way, I was rock bottom.
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: That is how he described me. Now, my friends in
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: the media, guys like Alex norm and Lee, you don't
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: know who they are. They're all either retired now or dead,
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: unfortunately because time has passed. They were older than me,
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: and they were my eyewitnesses who reminded me of that
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: particular moment to bust my balls for years.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: Now, here's the thing.
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: Bill Fitch didn't just humiliate me and move on. He
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: actually befriended me. Now we weren't great friends, but around
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: media sessions, I saw him a couple times a week.
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: We taught coops and he'd also talk about life, and
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: he'd pull me aside and give me little nuggets about
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: how the NBA really worked and what really goes on
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: behind the scenes. And I had been there since the
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: early days. For me, it was like this guy's a dinosaur,
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: and he didn't call it the industrial complex of sports.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: That's what we call it now.
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: It really wasn't like that because in that era, even
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: in the nineties, the NBA was still run mostly as
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: a mom and pop operation. It was really the two
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: thousands it became completely corporate. But among the things that
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: we chatted about, he told me about how perception always
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: beats reality, you know, the things that are kind of
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: normal for me now, but at that time I was like, oh,
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: this is interesting. He told me how the narrative matters
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: more than the box score, and how the machine choose
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: up players, how politics are involved, and who gets the
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: good coaching jobs, and you know, he said, even in
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: your business as a media guy, you know, it's it's
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: you know who you know, not what you know, and
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: all this stuff, and so it's just things that I
• 11:32
  Speaker 3: take for granted now, but at.
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: That time I didn't.
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: And he pointed out that the league doesn't run on basketball,
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: it runs on power and spin.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: And he also mentioned how.
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: The talent gap from the top team and he coached
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: the Celtics and the Rockets, who are very good teams,
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: down to the worst team.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: He said, and this is thirty years ago.
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: I guess almost now, but he said it's it wasn't
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: that big. And if you are disciplined, if you're focused,
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: you play fundamentally sound basketball, you will have a chance
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: in every game with about two minutes ago. The thing
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: that separates the teams often is the star players are
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: better on the good teams as opposed to the bad teams.
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: They make plays in crunch time. So I mean things
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: like that, And it really stuck with me when he
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: said that teams that get blown out on a regular
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: basis are lazy, they're not well coached, they're undisciplined. And
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: it's true in all sports. Yeah, defense and effort can
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: close the gap on talent deficiency, a sense of urgency,
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: the ripple effect. I've carried that with me for over
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: twenty five years since that conversation, and it was a
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: badge of honor. Bill Fitch passed away a couple of
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: years ago, a gruff, rough man to most, an acquired
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: taste to some of his players. He was a kind
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: man to me. And this is not a eulogy because
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: he's been gone for a while.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: But the man made a career.
• 12:57
  Speaker 3: He was in a military, he was younger, the NBA.
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: The man had an NBA title, he was Coach of
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: the Year. I think he won it more than once.
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: He might have only won it once. And he had
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: more basketball stories than most of us have hair. Certainly
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: I don't have that much air now. And to me, though,
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: he's the guy who looked me dead in the eye
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: and declared in front of all of my colleagues in
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: the media that I.
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: Was the worst player he'd ever coached. Hell yeah, And
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: I thought of that.
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: Listen, this guy, coach Larry Bird, who was the greatest
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: player he ever coached, And I here I am, and
• 13:28
  Speaker 3: I'm the worst. And you always remember the best, you
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: always remember the worst. And somehow that became a big thing.
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: I'm badge of honor because that whistle was not just
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: about a bad screen or a my ass not getting
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: back in transition defense, or blowing a layup or whatever.
• 13:45
  Speaker 3: It was a moment I learned how all of the
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: sporting world really works. It began that gym, the machine,
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: the mythology, all of it. And so when I see
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: something like the Celtics media game this week fifty seven
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: to four, again, coaches dunking on writers like they're trying
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: to settle a grudge from nineteen eighty six or something
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: like that. I laugh because I've been there, right, I've
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: been there. I've been in that situation. I didn't just
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: cover a blowout. I was the blowout. But here's the thing.
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: When the dust settled, I walked out of that gym
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: with something better than a box score. I walked out
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: with again a casual friendship with a guy that was
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: a Hall of Fame coach, and that gave me those days.
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: I have so many members about covering sports. In those days,
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: it was much different than it is now. It was
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: a fraternity and my education from I learned from Tommy
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: Disorda with the Dodgers, learned from Bill Fitch. These are
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: two of the big coaches that kind of as a
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: young kid taught me the ways of the world in
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: covering sports. And there were some others along the way,
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: but those were two of the big ones. And so
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: it was pretty cool. I get this education and a
• 14:58
  Speaker 3: story that still.
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: Lands all these years later.
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: I just popped right back into my head. I was
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: like I was, that's probably twenty years old at the time.
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: It's just craziness.
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: Crazy. Now some guys get their basketball.
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: Epiphanies with Larry Bird or Michael Jordan or Magic.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: Johnson or something like that.
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: I got mine with Bill Fitch's whistle, and honestly I
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: would not trade that for anything. I wouldn't It was
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: an amazing, amazing time. So I want to thank Joe
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: Mizoula and the Celtics for bringing that memory back, which
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: I know was in my head. It was buried in
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: the back of my head. So it's kind of cool
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: now turning the page on that. You've likely heard the
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: phrase it never rains in Los Angeles unless it does,
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: so when it does, it's not a sprinkle, it's not
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: a drizzle. It's not light rain. When it rains in
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: LA it's as if someone upstairs found the unleashed chaos
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: button and pressed it. Because no matter what level of
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: rain I say, it doesn't sprinkle or drizzle, they'll often
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: say light.
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: Rain bull crap.
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: It's bull crap because whatever rain comes down in LA
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: in the La basin, the city isn't ready.
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: It never is.
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: The storm rolls in like a substitute teacher walking into
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: a junior high school eighth grade class five minutes before
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: the bell, and immediately the kids are throwing spitballs at him.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: Nobody knows what to do.
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: So the other night I went into the mother Ship.
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: From the remote studio, I shade my way into the
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: Fox Sports Radio studios and beautiful Sherman Oaks just down
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: the hill from bell Air, and so there I was
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: doing my show.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: Whatever.
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: Now I had heard it was going to rain, but
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: when you live in La you don't normally look at
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: the weather. I don't really worry about it. I don't
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: watch the local news anymore. So I would usually get
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: the weather from the local news. And normally I find
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: out about the weather because someone will says, Hey, it's
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: gonna rain so and so, and somebody had said that.
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: So I did have some vague reference to rain, and
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: so I went in. I normally tried to avoid going
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: in on the rain. And I'll tell you why in
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: a minute, as I explained this story. So I showed up.
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: It was perfectly fine. On my drive in there was
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: no rain. And then at some point when I was
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: getting my steps in and ching around the Fox Sports
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: Radio studios the hallways there I saw I looked out
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: the window and I was like, oh, it's raining. Oh man,
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: it looks like it's raining DC amount and so I
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: meant to listen. Nobody knows what to do here, so
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: I'm doing the overnight show. I'm insuing with Oaks. It
• 17:35
  Speaker 3: starts pouring, and now not the polite you know, I
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: go to the East Coast, visit my brothers in New York,
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: and sometimes you visit him and the rain it's just
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: a casual, light rain and it's fine. You know, you
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: show up, you get a trench coat. Gently taps her umbrella.
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: Now this was la downpour, the kind that turns freeways
• 17:55
  Speaker 3: into an audition tape for The Deadliest Catch four h
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: five edition or one edition. So you know how people
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: always say, well, Californians can't drive on the rain. I
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: would say they're wrong. Now, I would also say everywhere
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: I've been, and I've been in Boston, New York, Minnesota,
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: I've been to Florida, nobody knows how to drive in
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: the rain. But people like the goof on California, so
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: they don't know how to drive in the rain. So
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: it's like, yeah, they don't know how to drive. Nobody
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: knows how to drive the way, but California don't drive
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: in the rain. That's my argument. They actually are doing
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: an audition because everyone's trying to be in the movies.
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: They're doing an audition for Evil caneval stunt School is
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: what they're doing. I'm telling you every lane, every lane
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: is a Roulette wheel. It just is the moment the
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: first rain drop hits that asphalt. The one on one
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: Freeway in southern California becomes a slipping slide, the four
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: oh five, depending on what part you're in, a demolition derby.
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: And every Prius driver a philosopher pondering why me, whymy
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: Now I don't drive a Prius, so I'm not in
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: that crowd.
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: Now.
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: Normally not to give you my exact root or route
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: on my way home, but I normally start out taking
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: the one oh one, which goes out near Sherman Oaks,
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: and I circle around the mountains and the Hollywood Freeway,
• 19:19
  Speaker 3: the ribbon of pavement that snakes its way past these
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: iconic landmarks, the Hollywood Bowl, Hollywood Boulevard, Sunset, Melrose.
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: These are iconic places in LA and.
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: I get a great view of the Capitol Records Building,
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: the building, the house that Nat King Cole built, the
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: spot where legends like Sinatra and Dean Martin, the Beatles,
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: the Beach Boys all etched themselves into the soundtrack.
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: Of America Immortal Musical Acts. They recorded songs in that building.
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: I know the building.
• 19:53
  Speaker 3: Years ago, my fat ass did a radio remote from
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: the roof of the Capitol Records building during a rainstorm.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: Floated kind of in my head.
• 20:02
  Speaker 3: At footed it flooded, I felt like I was floating
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: because the roof was covered in water.
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: So it flooded. The roof of.
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: The most famous building in that part of Hollywood, and
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: one of the most famous buildings in the world, was
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: like a puddle foreshadowing, possibly because this time the Hollywood
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: Freeway was an actual river and I, without a paddle,
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: had to find another way home. The freeway was not closed,
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: however it should have been, so I determined not to
• 20:34
  Speaker 3: go that way because I've taken it in the past
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: and thought I was going to die.
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: I almost did die multiple times. I said, I know
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: I'm going to die.
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: I don't want to die today. Maybe tomorrow or the
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: next day, but not today. So I detoured past Dodger
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: Stadium because nothing says life choice is like doing a
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: late night drive, which is really like a you know,
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: some kind of Olympic event around stalled cars. You know,
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: you see sunset levart over their big rigs, creeping like
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: they're hauling nitroglycerine. Bunch of wannabe bunch of wannabe Vin
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: Diesel's treating wet pavement like it's a racetrack, and they're
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: trying to show people that they're ready for the next
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: big movie and the trilogy, which is more than a
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: trilogy now of Fast and Furious. I saw three accidents
• 21:20
  Speaker 3: in fifteen minutes. And the thing about is nobody panic,
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: Like nobody stopped in Los Angeles. We just nod at
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: the wreckage like it's part of the scenery. It's part
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: of the show. Do a little rubbernecking, you turn your head,
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: do a little nod. It's just like the palm trees,
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: the neon lights.
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: You'll just see a.
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: Hydro planning camra off to the left and there you go.
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: So by the time, by the time I pulled into
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: the north Woods, the long winding road in the north Woods,
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: soaked at this point in anxiety and windshield wiper fluid
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: that had gotten a lot of work. I needed a cigarette.
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: I don't smoke, but I needed to cigarette. I needed
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: one anyway, So this is the part of the story
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: where someone always says, well, why don't they fix the infrastructure,
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: ben they've got all that tax money. It's a lot
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: of taxation in California. And the reason they don't is
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: because this is La this is southern California, and they
• 22:23
  Speaker 3: get a lot of tax money. But those politicians need
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: a lot of money. And not to get political on
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: the podcast or anything like that, however, they spend their
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: money building movie sets. I guess I don't really think
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: they build many of those anymore. But they don't build
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: storm drains. And I have notice though, like the people
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: that work on the roads, and they're hardworking people, they're
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: hardworking people. No one ever seems to do advance work.
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: It's well known. It's this trend in southern California. Is
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: like one of the reasons the city burned down is
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: because of the incompetent politicians not saying why don't we
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: get out in front on this one, Why don't we
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: do some fire maintenance.
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: Why don't we have water.
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: Ready just in case because there's gonna be this day
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: where you know things are gonna burn and like it's
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: gonna rain, Why don't we I don't know. Why don't
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: we clear out the storm drains so the highways don't flood?
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: How about that?
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: No?
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: No, no, why don't we instead?
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: Why don't we wait until everything floods, everything floods, and
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: then then we'll send out emergency crews to be heroes
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: and save everyone when they could have done the work
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: in advance, and then no one would have kissed their
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: ass and said how great they are.
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: Uh So, instead it's like, Ahna, we don't need to
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: do that.
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: We we don't need to invest in asphalt that can
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: handle water better.
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: Because it listen, look at the math.
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: It doesn't rain very much one storm and the entire
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: freeway system looks like a half finished water park.
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: But I digress.
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: So they tell me this is the price to live
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: in Paradise, that you get sunshines?
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: Is it three hundred some days a year?
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: And on the day it rains, the whole city collapses
• 24:03
  Speaker 3: like a croissant, flaky layers in the air everywhere. Fine, fine,
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: but if this is the new normal, this is the
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: new normal. I am filing a formal request for a
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: Fox Sports Radio company boat.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: Now. I'm sure that the company, with all the.
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: Resources that they have are going to go out of
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: their way to provide me with a boat. Of course,
• 24:29
  Speaker 3: it's more likely that they will provide me with a dinghy.
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: That's right, a dingy, not which.
• 24:36
  Speaker 3: Is kind of a boat. You take the dinghy when
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: you dock the boat, you gotta take the dingy. So
• 24:43
  Speaker 3: maybe I'll get the dingy. You know, dingy put the
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: mal or militia logo on it. Because you live in
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: southern California.
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: You live in the LA area. When it rains, you're
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: not driving anymore.
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, there's no driving here. You are navigating,
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: is what you're doing. Some navigation is what's going on.
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: On that note, I want to.
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: Thank you guys. Now the mail bag is open.
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: Don't forget about Benny Versus the Penny, And would really
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: love for you to watch that let other people know
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: about it.
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: And I say, well, it's on YouTube, it's free.
• 25:17
  Speaker 3: I assume you know how to navigate your way around
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: the YouTube. Get those numbers up and grow the show.
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: It's exciting. It's exciting. And if you watch Benny Versus
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: the Penny. I actually got an email from YouTube which
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: indicates they are noticing the success that the show is having.
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: Which is a good encouraging sign as we are now
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: heading into week seven of Benny Versus the Penny, So
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: I'm happy about that the way the show is growing,
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: and I look forward to bigger and better things with
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: the great Tom Looney on that particular show. If you'd
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: like to submit a question for the mail bag, and
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: I haven't checked yet because I do everything at the
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: last minute, the mailbag is on Sunday, That's not technically true.
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: I don't do everything at the last minute on this podcast.
• 26:06
  Speaker 3: I normally rolled into the podcast studio and just crank
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: the mic on and start yapping. That's kind of how
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: the podcast thing is supposed to work. So it hadn't
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: crossed my mind. You had to check the mail bag.
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: If you'd like to send a question in I would
• 26:17
  Speaker 3: recommend doing it by the end of the day today
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: on Friday, which is the seventeenth day of October, and
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: you can email me at fifth hour and the actual
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: email if I could I remember the email, I mean
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: check the email here one second, the email address for
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: the show, the email that we use for the show,
• 26:38
  Speaker 3: which is very simple. It's real fifth hour, not just
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: for that real fifth hour at gmail dot com.
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: Do not send it to the other one.
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: And ohio Al knows the email address fer dog Alf.
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: We'd love to get some other people involved in this,
• 26:53
  Speaker 3: so if you would like to support the show, you
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: can email Real Fifth Hour at gmail dot com. I
• 26:57
  Speaker 3: mentioned Danny G will likely be back at some point
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: over the weekend. Got some other tales to tell from
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: things that have happened and whatnot. On that note, though,
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: on that note, we thank you, We appreciate you, we
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: love you for listening. You are my favorite person in
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: the world for doing this and supporting the Overnight Show
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: and all the other nonsense that we have on this
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: podcast and everything else. Have a wonderful start to your weave.
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: My weekend starts now. As soon as I get done
• 27:28
  Speaker 3: with this podcast, my weekend begins, and my weekend will
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: be no different than my week I plan on sitting
• 27:33
  Speaker 3: around watching a lot of sports this weekend.
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: That is the plan. Anyway, have a great.
• 27:37
  Speaker 3: Day in asta pasta later skater, I think that's how
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: Is that how you do it?
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: Danny later skater?
• 27:45
  Speaker 3: No, No, all right, we'll clean this up and post.
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: We're gonna clean this thing up and post. Everything will
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: be good. Don't worry about We got this now, I'm
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: telling you we got that. Danny. Yes, now, all right,
• 28:00
  Speaker 3: Danny's not He's in the other room on the other side.
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: He's nodding his head. Yes, Danny's he's doing all the production. Yeah,
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: I know you're doing the production. I got I got you,
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: all right, Daddy, all right, thank you, got a murder.
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: I gotta go.