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Nurturing Bonds: Applying David and Jonathan's Principles to Modern Relationships · Mrs. PIE

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Shooting you, you, you, all right, good morning.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: Good morning Y'all.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: We had troll ads.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: I got to get over it.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: I'm so happy to be here.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: I said another Thursday morning prayer.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: I'm Shelly and I'm always here.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: 7 am.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: This is live and God is so good.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: So so today we're gonna be talking about friendship.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: Obviously, before we go into it, I'm gonna go into prayer and then I'll give a good morning to everybody who are on our all of our channels, watching us in different places and different spaces.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: So, lord, we just thank you for, again, another opportunity to come before you and and to just hear from you what the word says about these things, these subject matters.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: So we just gave you all the honor, lord, and asked that you will just take over right now.
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: Take over in the message, speak to the hearts of those who are watching the live and the replay and listening to us on the audio version that you'll bless them in a different way this morning.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: Amen, amen.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: Good morning Facebook people.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: I can't see names, so y'all just know that I'm not calling out names.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: That's what's going on.
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: So good morning the folks on Facebook.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: Good morning the folks on LinkedIn.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: Good morning everybody on YouTube streets.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: Good morning the folks on Twitter and good morning to the folks watching on parade deck, live the channel.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: And Today, y'all, we're gonna talk about friendship.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: So, as as usual, I might have gonna share my screen when I come to the, the chapter, the verse, the scripture that we're gonna look into, but just to give y'all some context.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: I don't know if it's an age thing.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: I'll be 52 next month and I have been really thinking about true friendships, true friendships, and so I wanted to, you know, just ask the Lord about how do you maintain or even build on the Relationships that we already have?
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: And so I was looking at the friendship that was inspired by David and Jonathan in first Samuel.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: So I'm gonna cover that, but I'm gonna share with you just three things From the word that will help us.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: And I don't care how old you are.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: Again, like I said, maybe it's an age thing, but I just you get to a point where you really treasure the people who maybe you've had Friends for many, many years, or maybe you have new friends coming in, but you really get to a point where you start to treasure the people that are being placed in your lives.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: And, yeah, you know, I understand that sometimes you gotta let people go.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: So even that, sometimes, even in letting people go, you're actually treasuring those.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: It was friendship.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: Sometimes friendships come to an end.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: You put a nice bow on it, y'all move on.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: But I want to share with you.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: You know what I was studying in the words.
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna share my screen.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: Give me one second, it'll come up.
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: I'm always using the ESV version, the a Shelley version, because this is just easier for me.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: So we're in first Samuel, 18, verses 1 through 5.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: And it says, as soon as he's he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David and Jonathan loved him as his own soul, his own soul, and Saul took him that day, would not let him return to his father's house.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: Then Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as his own soul, and Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt, and David went out and was successful wherever Saul sent him, so that Saul sent him over the men of war.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: And this was good in the sight of all the people and also in the site of Saul servant Orgah.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: We just ask that you open up your word right now and give us the wisdom and understanding, help us to see what it is you want us to see in our own relationships and how we're building those friendships and how we're taking care of the people that you've you sent in place in our lives.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: Y'all, when I was looking at just this verse and just thinking about you know the relationship that Jonathan, the covenant, the promise that that Jonathan made with David.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: It wasn't just that Jonathan loved David and it was reciprocated right.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: It wasn't that Jonathan just loved him.
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: It talks about Jonathan basically giving up his own protection.
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: He loved him so much that he gave up his own Protection, things that were valuable to him.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: Now, I'm not saying that you know you have a friend, that you just start giving stuff away.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: What I'm showing here is the depth of the love that they had and what you know.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: In this case, where Jonathan stripped his robe and gave the arm and he gave what he had right, gave it.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: He had a David and that helped David to go out and be successful.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: Maybe in your case, what you have that's, that's a treasure to you as some of your talents and your, your skills, and maybe it's your time and you're giving that to your friend or you know, you know time, taking time away from and pouring into that person without expecting anything in return.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: So you know that that will build up that friend and they'll go out and be successful at whatever it is.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: Whatever it is that they're trying to do.
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: That's the.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: That's the insight that I was looking at when I thought about First Samuel, 18, verse 5.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: I want to show you another one, just to anchor this, to bring it home.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: For those of us who are not you know, those of us who are not David, those of us who are not Jonathan, but you might be the David and Jonathan in a certain relationship.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: Right, there's always a David and Jonathan.
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: It might be a sibling relationship, it might be a friend of you know, a friend outside the family, but just looking at the way that they carried this friendship was so interesting to me.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: So now I'm going to talk to you guys about maintaining these friendships, and I'm not saying that I perfected it because I'm working on it.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: Okay, there's people in the room right now going to laugh like.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: I know she's not talking, she'll call everybody back, but I was talking about, the first thing being your tone and your response.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: Your tone and your response.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: So let's look at what Proverbs 15 talks about our tone, and this is really, really important in building and maintaining a friendship.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: Okay, so this is a verse that my mom gave to me a long time ago.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: I can probably cite it, not looking, you know, just side off top of my head but I'll read it out for you Psalm 15, verse one through four, and it says a soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of fools who are folly.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: The eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and good.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: You know what you're doing and a gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: So let's break this down.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: The first thing is, in other translation a soft answer turned it away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: It's the way that you're responding to your friends.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: Sometimes we get so comfortable having these friends.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: They've been around and I've known her for 20 years.
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: Why would she get upset?
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: She should know me by now.
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: Or he knows how I am.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: He knows my heart right, he should not take it.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: He shouldn't take it seriously.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: And yet the word here is reminding us that it is in our response.
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: A soft answer turns, turns away.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: Wrath right, you got to know, a lot of us know that the kind of the trigger words that will cause a response in those friends, and it doesn't mean that you use that as a way to hurt or harm or to get your own way.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: So the word here is just reminding you that what you say, a gentle tongue, is a tree of life.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: You're creating things, you're building things.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: It's a tree of life, not death, and being careful that you're not saying things that's going to break the spirit of your friend.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: So if you are in the relationship right now and you're the person with you, I'm just speaking my truth.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: Listen when I hear people say that I'm not.
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: I'm just speaking my truth.
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: Sometimes your truth is not the truth.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: Your truth is just the perception of the truth.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: You don't have the context, you don't know the whole story.
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: So even in that approach, I'm just speaking my truth.
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: If you're speaking your truth in a way, that is, it's set up to hurt somebody, if you're speaking your truth is going to break the spirit of somebody else.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: Maybe it's not the truth, maybe it's just the perception of the truth.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: And where it says the tongue of the wise commends knowledge, commends knowledge, right, but the mouth of fools pour out folly.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: Isn't that awesome?
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: So it is in our response.
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: It's a way that we respond to each other.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: That's so important.
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: So the other two verses that I want mercy not judgment.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: Exactly, mercy not judgment.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: We talked about that, I think, earlier this week.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: Show mercy not judgment.
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: The other thing that I want to talk to you about is in Proverbs 27.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: This one I'm just going to drop in the chat, proverbs 27, verse 17,.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: Because I hear this, y'all hear this all the time.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: Please don't get mad at me, I'm just telling you what the Lord say.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: Okay, proverbs 27, verse 17,.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: Iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: Now let me, let me, let me, uh, let me put this in.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: Let me put it this way it is true that iron sharpens iron, but iron also cuts, and sometimes that iron cuts too deep in the way that you're connected to the other person, so you're supposed to sharpen, meaning you're building that person up.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: So, if you think about where I started with, with David and Jonathan and the image.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: Close your eyes and think about it and visualize it.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: You can see Jonathan taking off all of his protection, all of his protection, and giving it over to David so that David could be protected and go into.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: When I think about someone, when they say iron sharpens iron, it means that you're giving me your protection and I'm, I'm, I'm sharpening up so I can go into whatever that battle is.
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: Sometimes that battle is emotional, sometimes that battle is mental, sometimes that battle is y'all.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: My spouse got off my nurse today and I don't know how to deal with it.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: Okay, good morning with Sacramento.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: Okay, you know whatever that is, but remember that if it's too sharp, you're going to cut.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: And remember what I said.
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: Right, it is really in the response.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: How are you responding?
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: You can't use the word to cut somebody like a knife.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: That's not.
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: That's not what it's for.
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: As a matter of fact, don't start taking over the job of the Holy Spirit judging people.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: That's not what friendships are for.
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: Okay, so, as iron sharpen iron, one person sharpens the other, but it's so that that other person can go out and be successful and whatever it is that they're trying to do, it's not so that you can sharpen it, so it's so.
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: The blade is so sharp that you end up hurting each other.
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: Because I just got to come and tell you, sis, what you got to do.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: You're not sharpening any iron irons, you're dulling it, okay.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: So really thinking about iron, sharpen iron.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: What does that mean for you?
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: And really thinking about how you're taking that into.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: Is that helpful, is that harmful to my friend?
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: Are you a help or your hindrance to your friend?
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: Am I building up that iron?
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: Is it so sharp that now we cut in each other?
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: Okay, are you a help or your hindrance?
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: Now the third one is choose your friends wisely.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: Choose your friends wisely.
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: So this one is a short, a couple of verses.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: I'm going to drop this one in the chat as well.
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: Exactly, building each other up in love.
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: So I'm going to drop this one in the chat and just read this one out to you.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: This one's coming from Proverbs 22.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: And again I use the ESV version Make no friendship with a man given to anger, no goal with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and tangle yourselves in a sneer.
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: Make no friendship with a man given to anger.
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: You know, those quick fire, the quick respond can't control their emotional, their emotional responses.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: You know my mom used to tell us when we were little you know, you become the company you keep.
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: I'm sure you guys have heard this a lot, but you have to manage.
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: Even we're managing our own emotions.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: So, exactly, bad company corrupts good character.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: But you really have to think about the friend who's popping off, dude, is that, is that what you want to be around, unless you're, unless you're, unless you're there and you're the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: You're the, the dull blade trying to get not.
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: Not.
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: Make sure, you know, making sure you're not.
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: That's not the iron sharp and iron where you know you're in a fight.
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: And now I'm in a fight and now we're both in a fight.
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: Right, it's in our response.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: There is something in in the verse in first Samuel 18, one one through five that I shared, and this is again why the Lord led me to David and Jonathan's friendship, because it ended verse five talks.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: It says this and David went out and was successful wherever saw, saw sent him, so that saw sent him over the men of war.
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: So David was built up out of that friendship so that he can go out and do the things that he needed to do.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: That's the first thing.
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: Right Are you?
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: Is that the kind of friendship that you have, where you're building each other up so that you can go out and do whatever it is, whatever it is you need to do?
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: But the second part of that verse?
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: It says and this was good in the sight of all the people and also in the sight of solid servants.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: What does that tell you Y'all?
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: People are watching your moves.
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: People are watching your moves.
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: So if I know you're going to treat your friend terribly, that tells me about your character.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: People are watching how you treat people right.
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: So it's not just you know.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: And again the word says that the Lord sees everything right.
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: And that's say in that same verse it talks about you know, the Lord sees everything.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: Proverbs 15, proverbs 15, verse three the eyes of the Lord are in every place.
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: Keep and watch on the evil and the good.
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: So he, the Lord, sees everything that you're doing.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: So when you're in a situation where you're saying Lord, lord, help me.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: But you're cursing your friend or you're keeping that bad company, or you're so sharp as an iron that you're cutting each other because, hey, I gotta tell.
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: I gotta you know, I gotta speak my truth and it don't matter what nobody else thinks, and I'm speaking my truth.
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: Is that helpful or harmful?
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: I pray that today you'll think about the friendships that you have.
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: Maybe there's somebody in your life where you haven't heard from in a long time and maybe today you just feel encouraged and inspired to just reach out and tap them on the shoulder.
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: Don't ask for nothing, just say hi.
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: Maybe there's somebody that you've wronged because you cut them too sharp and you were that sharp iron, your blade was too sharp and you cut somebody with your words.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: And maybe today you just reach out and say I'm sorry, without expecting anything in response.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: Just say I'm sorry.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: Our children are watching, just like the eyes of the Lord are everywhere.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: Our kids watch how we manage and maintain these friendships the new friendships and the old ones and how you break friendships off.
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: Because, yeah, there are some friendships that kind of lose their ground over time.
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: Right, we mature and sometimes we go in different directions.
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: But how do you break those friendships off in a way that you're not destroying the spirit of the person that you're letting go of, so that you pump yourself up and feel good?
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: Are you gossiping about that person on the way out the door?
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: Or are you saying, lord, I thank you, thank you that you gave me this friendship, but now that it's ended, I bless him or her to have a good life?
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: Is that how you're ending your friendships?
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: Because people are watching.
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: The Lord is watching.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: Amen, yo, this is so.
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: I know this was a light one, but it's so important.
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: It's so important for us to take care of the people that God put in your path.
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: Take care of the people that God placed in your life.
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: A lot of us are meeting friends on the job, but when you leave the job as a friendship over, how are you staying connected?
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: We're going into the holiday season.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: There're gonna be a lot of people who don't have the same access to people as we all do.
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: A lot of people are lonely during this time, very lonely.
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: Suicide rates are higher during this time of year and after a lot of veterans I know that are watching on Parade Deck Live.
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: This is the time when the spike happens and it runs all the way until the beginning of the year for suicide rate, for loneliness.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: Will you make room for new friends this season?
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: If you're a believer, will you make room for a new friend?
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: Will you go knock on your neighbor's door and just go check in on them?
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: It's not just about your inner circle and your tight girlfriends, but maybe you're reaching out and tapping into other people who could use a friend.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: If you're the parent of teenagers, are you encouraging your teens or teaching them through modeling it, the way you live your life how to say goodbye to friends?
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: Are you teaching them how to do that in a healthy way, so they don't leave anger, they don't have anger, they don't feel rejected?
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: Amen, how are you building up the people around you?
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: So maybe you're not, jonathan, because you don't have the armor and all of those things spiritually to hand off to somebody else.
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: Maybe you just me.
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: Just me trying to figure out how to make sure that we're taking care of the relationships that the Lord has placed in our lives and then encouraging you to go out and do the same thing.
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: Amen, y'all.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: Don't let another day pass.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: If this friendship is causing some strife and issue and there's drama, don't let the day end without closing some things out.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: Or maybe you just got to forgive people and move on.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: When I say forgive, you forgive and move on.
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: Maybe today you close the chapter, but you forgive and just move on and love them on the way out and take care of the people that the Lord has placed in your life.
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: Amen, father, we just thank you so much.
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: Thank you, lord, for again, for just teaching us how to live among each other and the people that you've given over to us as friends.
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: Pray, lord, god, that you'll impress on every heart the way that we should love each other, the way that we should show mercy to each other and forgive each other.
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: I pray that you'll inspire and encourage us to go out and reach out to people who don't have friends, and reach out to the folks who are in the corner of the restaurant by themselves.
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: Speak to people, lord God, smile more, give more and build true friendships from the heart.
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: Lord God, I pray that you'll heal the broken hearts of those who have been wronged by friendships, those who have been passed over, those who have been judged, those who have been hurt by words and people's deeds.
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: Lord God, out of those friendships.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: Pray, lord God, that you will fill those broken hearts and broken spirit now just with your love, so that they see you.
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: Lord God, help them to come out of the space where they're feeling rejected by friendship and give them just a renewal, lord God.
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: A renewal, lord God.
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: We thank you for all of the people that you've placed in our lives, because they are there for a reason.
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: We thank you for the bonus family members and the bonus friends.
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: We thank you, lord God.
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: We love us so much that you're giving us the treasure of this human connection that we have.
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: Show us how to treat each other better.
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: Show us how to treat each other better.
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: Lord God, to your glory forevermore, amen, amen.
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: I hope that blessed y'all.
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: I hope that encourage y'all to just go out and do better as friends.
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: I'm a work in progress.
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: Okay, I'm the friend that usually sits by myself at home.
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: I'm a work in progress.
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: I show you and I teach you what I'm learning as well.
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: I just want to encourage you to meet new people, but take care of the ones that you have.
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: I hope that this blessed you.
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: Have a wonderful rest of the day, thank you.