Latest / Job Hopping with Fexingo: Tenure, Loyalty, and the Modern Career Resume / Why Your Career Network Needs a Refresh Every 18 Months
Transcript
- Lucas: You know that feeling when you reach out to someone you haven't spoken to in a couple of years, and they don't respond? Or they do, but it's clear they've moved on, changed roles, maybe even left the industry entirely. Luna: Yeah, it stings. And it makes you wonder — is my network actually decaying without me noticing? Lucas: Exactly. And there's research now that suggests it decays faster than we think. A 2025 study in the Journal of Applied Psychology tracked a group of professionals over 18 months and found that roughly 30 percent of their weak-tie contacts — the people you'd reach out to for a referral or industry insight — had become essentially inactive or irrelevant within that window. Luna: 30 percent in 18 months? That's pretty fast. So if you're not actively refreshing that part of your network, you're losing a third of your reach every year and a half. Lucas: Right. And that matters because weak ties are disproportionately valuable for job changes. The classic Granovetter study from the 1970s showed that most people find jobs through acquaintances, not close friends. But that only works if the acquaintances are still active and relevant. Luna: So the takeaway isn't just 'grow your network' — it's 'maintain and prune it.' Like a garden. Lucas: Exactly. And I think we all have that one contact we've been meaning to catch up with but keep putting off. For a lot of us, it's been longer than 18 months. I know I've got a few. Luna: Same. I had a former colleague I really respected, we worked together on a big campaign back in 2022. I thought about reaching out last year, didn't, and then I saw she had moved to a completely different company in a different role. Now I feel like I have to reintroduce myself from scratch. Lucas: That's exactly the kind of decay the study is talking about. But the good news is the fix is pretty straightforward — you just have to build it into your routine. One approach I like is the 'three-to-one rule'. Luna: Okay, I'll bite. What's the three-to-one rule? Lucas: For every three new people you add to your network — say on LinkedIn or through a conference — you make a point to reconnect with one dormant contact. A quick check-in, a shared article, a 'thinking of you' message. It keeps the old bridges from rotting while you're building new ones. Luna: I like that. It's a ratio that forces maintenance. And it's small enough that it doesn't feel like a chore. Lucas: Right. And you can do it in batches. Spend 15 minutes on a Friday afternoon — pick three new connections from your week, and one person you haven't talked to in six months or more. Over a year, that's 52 revived contacts. Luna: That's actually powerful. I'm going to try that. But what about the awkwardness? I think a lot of people avoid reaching out because they feel like it's been too long and it'll be weird. Lucas: It's a real barrier. But I've found most people are actually flattered when you reach out. The key is to make it low-stakes. Don't ask for a favor right away. Just acknowledge the time gap — 'Hey, I know it's been a while, hope you're doing well' — and share something specific that made you think of them. Luna: So, 'Saw this article about X and remembered our conversation about Y.' That feels natural. Lucas: Exactly. And you're not asking for anything. You're just reopening the channel. The next time you need something, the door is already open. Luna: You know, this resonates with something I've been thinking about. I've had a couple of listeners write in recently saying they feel guilty for not keeping up with their network. They think it reflects poorly on them, like they're being flaky or transactional. Lucas: I think that guilt is misplaced. Networks naturally degrade. It's not a moral failing — it's just entropy. The important thing is to recognize it and do something about it. Which brings me to something I want to mention briefly. Luna: Go ahead. Lucas: If you've found these conversations about career strategy useful — and especially if you've applied something like the three-to-one rule or the 18-month refresh idea — a small number of listeners already chip in monthly to keep this show ad-free and independent. It's at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. No pressure ever, but that support is what makes episodes like this possible. Luna: And honestly, it means we never have to run sponsored segments that interrupt the flow. Just listeners helping listeners. I'm grateful for everyone who does. Lucas: Absolutely. OK, back to networks. So we've talked about maintenance, but I want to push on something else: the quality of those weak ties. Not all contacts are created equal, even if they're active. Luna: Right, because someone who's active but in a completely different industry may not be as useful as someone who's in your field but dormant. Lucas: Exactly. The study also found that the most valuable weak ties are those that bridge different clusters — they connect you to information you wouldn't otherwise get. So when you're pruning, you want to keep the bridges, even if they're a little rusty. Luna: That's a good heuristic: don't just revive any dormant contact. Prioritize the ones that gave you access to a different world — different industry, different function, different geography. Lucas: Right. And that leads to a practical exercise. Take out your phone or open your LinkedIn. Scroll through your connections. Pick five people you haven't talked to in over a year. Ask yourself: did they ever introduce you to a new perspective or opportunity? If yes, they're worth a message. Luna: I'm going to do that right after this. But I want to ask — what about the people who are just not responsive? You reach out, they don't reply. Do you take that personally? Lucas: I used to. But now I assume they're busy, or they've changed their contact info, or they're just not active on that platform. I don't take it as a rejection of me personally. And honestly, if they don't respond after two attempts, I let it go. The network is a living thing — some branches fall off. Luna: That's healthy. And it frees you up to focus on the ones that do respond. So let's talk about the payoff. If you do this maintenance — the 18-month refresh, the three-to-one rule — what does that look like in practice? Lucas: Well, I have a concrete example. I spoke with a marketing manager named Sarah who had been at the same company for about four years. She wanted to move into a product marketing role, but her network was mostly people from her current company and a few old college friends. She hadn't really refreshed it since she started that job. Luna: So her weak ties were basically stale. Lucas: Exactly. She set a goal to reconnect with two dormant contacts per week using the low-stakes approach. Within three months, one of those contacts — a former coworker who had moved to a tech company — mentioned an opening in product marketing. Sarah applied, got the job, and she told me that reconnection was the single most important factor. Luna: That's a great story. And it shows that the effort pays off even in a relatively short time frame. It doesn't take years to rebuild — just a consistent habit. Lucas: Right. And I think that's the core message of this episode: treat your network like a renewable resource that requires periodic investment. Not because you're being calculating, but because relationships naturally drift if you don't tend them. Luna: And loyalty to your network — keeping those bridges maintained — is really loyalty to your future self. Because you never know when you'll need to cross one. Lucas: That's a great way to put it. So here's a challenge for listeners: this week, pick one dormant contact and reach out. Just one. See what happens. And if it goes well, next week pick two. Build the habit. Luna: And if you want to share how it went, we'd love to hear from you. You can reach us on the show's social channels. Until next time, keep the bridges in good repair.