Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #271 Are We Moving To China!?

Transcript

#271 Are We Moving To China!? · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

0:01
Speaker 1: I just want to say something very quickly before we start.
0:04
Speaker 2: We always do.
0:06
Speaker 1: Where the fuck were you guys this morning?
0:08
Speaker 3: On.
0:09
Speaker 1: Well, I was here. I was here. I was first in.
0:12
Speaker 3: Oh, Rich.
0:12
Speaker 2: I sent you where I was. I was stuck on
0:14
Speaker 2: a closed road.
0:15
Speaker 1: Sounds like someone needs to better manage their time.
0:18
Speaker 2: Okay, let's just start the episode.
0:19
Speaker 1: You know, Vic wasn't here.
0:22
Speaker 2: Vic, have you got that list of times Matt was late?
0:24
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'll pull it up right now.
0:26
Speaker 1: We had suppliers arrive this morning and I was dealing
0:29
Speaker 1: with the suppliers. It's Rich, isn't it?
0:31
Speaker 2: You know what? Self-awareness is really important. Let's start the show.
0:35
Speaker 3: Okay.
0:52
Speaker 1: Welcome back to Two Doting Dads. I am Matty J.
0:54
Speaker 1: And I am Ash. And this is a podcast all
0:56
Speaker 1: about parenting. It is the good, it is the bad.
0:58
Speaker 2: And the relatable.
0:59
Speaker 1: And one thing we never do is give advice. We
1:02
Speaker 1: did actually have some advice from someone else.
1:05
Speaker 2: Oh, I like that. What is it?
1:06
Speaker 1: Dan, not Vic's Dan. Well, actually, it is another Vic's Dan.
1:09
Speaker 1: Vic's got a few Dans.
1:10
Speaker 2: What's the deal with the Dans?
1:12
Speaker 1: You love a Dan, don't you?
1:13
Speaker 2: They're all good with their hands, that's for sure.
1:16
Speaker 4: I don't know a mean Dan. Dan's are just nice guys.
1:19
Speaker 4: Don't you reckon?
1:20
Speaker 2: Do you know a mean Dan?
1:22
Speaker 1: I know a Dan I worked with back in the day.
1:26
Speaker 1: He was quite nice.
1:27
Speaker 2: It sounds like he would be an arsehole, that name. Hey, Dan.
1:30
Speaker 2: They're all really nice.
1:30
Speaker 1: Any murderers, Dan? I don't think there are. Any murderers
1:34
Speaker 1: called Dan?
1:35
Speaker 3: No.
1:35
Speaker 2: They're usually the victims because they're so nice.
1:37
Speaker 3: Yes.
1:38
Speaker 1: How do you know Dan? This is Cameraman Dan.
1:41
Speaker 4: Cameraman Dan. I used to work with him back at
1:42
Speaker 4: Channel 9. And he was very nice. And his wife
1:46
Speaker 4: is also lovely. She was a reporter.
1:48
Speaker 2: So you worked with him and.
1:50
Speaker 3: We've always just stayed in touch and I'm in touch
1:52
Speaker 3: with a lot of old people I used to work
1:53
Speaker 3: with because it was such a formative time of my career.
1:58
Speaker 1: Graeme used the word formative, by the way.
2:00
Speaker 4: Thank you.
2:00
Speaker 2: Very formal.
2:01
Speaker 4: I meant to say formidable, but formative is the right word.
2:04
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have questioned it. I'd be like, uh-huh.
2:06
Speaker 2: What do any of those words.
2:10
Speaker 1: Mean?
2:11
Speaker 3: But it's always good to know people like cameramen, editors, lighting, sound.
2:16
Speaker 4: And they're the salt of the earth, those people.
2:18
Speaker 1: For the record.
2:19
Speaker 2: I'm salt of the earth.
2:21
Speaker 1: We built the studio with our own bare hands.
2:24
Speaker 2: Bare.
2:25
Speaker 1: Bare hands. When it came to lighting, that was a
2:29
Speaker 1: little bit beyond our area of expertise. And every time
2:32
Speaker 1: we set up the lights, Vic's like, oh, fucking the
2:34
Speaker 1: shadows are goddammit.
2:36
Speaker 2: It's got to fucking heal.
2:38
Speaker 1: Can't work with this.
2:39
Speaker 2: Crash out every week, yeah.
2:40
Speaker 1: And she's like, I've got to get bloody Dan in here.
2:42
Speaker 1: I'm like, which Dan? She's like, cameraman Dan because he'd
2:45
Speaker 1: know what to do. We're like, well, bring him in.
2:47
Speaker 4: Also, I don't sound like that.
2:48
Speaker 2: You do.
2:49
Speaker 4: Sounds almost like 30 Darys.
2:52
Speaker 2: Yeah, take your shirt off, cameraman Dan.
2:54
Speaker 1: And so finally, and I actually thought, Because I was
2:58
Speaker 1: here first, I went to the bathroom, I came to
3:01
Speaker 1: then enter the studio and this man is standing there
3:04
Speaker 1: and he's looking at me and I'm like, oh, my God,
3:06
Speaker 1: it's the business analyst.
3:08
Speaker 2: I was like, fuck.
3:09
Speaker 5: Hide.
3:10
Speaker 2: Oh, my God.
3:10
Speaker 1: I was ready for a fight.
3:11
Speaker 5: The door was open and you were letting Vic in
3:13
Speaker 5: when I came and I walked in and there was
3:15
Speaker 5: a bearded man and I was like, Matt?
3:18
Speaker 1: And so he was very nice. He has adjusted our lighting.
3:22
Speaker 1: Long story short, the lighting is tweaked so if you
3:24
Speaker 1: look at the YouTube video And you're.
3:26
Speaker 2: Like, wow, look at those guys. We're both real tan.
3:30
Speaker 4: And Matt has his lamp on today.
3:32
Speaker 1: I got my lamp on.
3:33
Speaker 2: Smart bulb.
3:33
Speaker 4: Which is very exciting for Matt.
3:35
Speaker 2: Have you connected to that smart bulb?
3:37
Speaker 1: Relax, okay?
3:39
Speaker 2: I'm going to do it in between episodes.
3:40
Speaker 1: Get your boner back in your pants.
3:42
Speaker 2: I've tucked it up. The anal bead lamp.
3:46
Speaker 1: Ash is just pre-coming over there with my AI bulb. So, yeah,
3:50
Speaker 1: the lighting has been tweaked. We may actually go one
3:52
Speaker 1: step further, get your Dan back in and change the
3:55
Speaker 1: lighting again. So we're just getting better and better. We're
3:58
Speaker 1: like Pokemon.
3:59
Speaker 2: We're evolving. Great reference. We're going to put another level
4:01
Speaker 2: on this studio one day. I feel it.
4:04
Speaker 1: Yeah.
4:04
Speaker 3: And for all the people who comment about the echoing,
4:07
Speaker 3: we are going to soundproof it at some point.
4:09
Speaker 1: Can they fuck off?
4:10
Speaker 2: Well said.
4:11
Speaker 4: We are a three-person team.
4:13
Speaker 2: I hope that echoed as well. Fuck off. Can you
4:16
Speaker 2: fuck off?
4:16
Speaker 3: Fuck off.
4:17
Speaker 2: Fuck off. Fuck off.
4:19
Speaker 3: Actually, someone said that episode where we swore heaps and
4:22
Speaker 3: Louis was here, they were like, I thought it was
4:24
Speaker 3: going to be a tame episode when Louis started the episode,
4:26
Speaker 3: but then it was loose as a goose.
4:28
Speaker 2: We should have a child in here every time.
4:32
Speaker 1: Louis is like, I'm cold. Get out of the cage.
4:35
Speaker 1: We're doing an episode.
4:36
Speaker 2: It's like my ears hurt from all the language. Let's
4:39
Speaker 2: kick it off. It's term four.
4:41
Speaker 4: Yeah, can you believe it?
4:42
Speaker 2: When did that happen?
4:43
Speaker 1: Time goes bloody quick, doesn't it?
4:45
Speaker 5: It goes fast when you're having a good time. Honestly, look,
4:49
Speaker 5: I feel quite blessed and we'll talk about it soon.
4:51
Speaker 5: I missed the second half of school holidays, so I'm.
4:53
Speaker 2: Nice and relaxed.
4:55
Speaker 1: Yeah, wow.
4:56
Speaker 4: Must be nice.
4:57
Speaker 1: Should we have a little holiday counter?
4:59
Speaker 2: No.
5:00
Speaker 3: Actually, I would like to bring this up because while
5:03
Speaker 3: I was away, I was listening to the housekeeping ep
5:06
Speaker 3: and you were bagging me.
5:08
Speaker 4: For going on a lot of holidays.
5:10
Speaker 3: And can I just remind you, you have gone to Bali,
5:13
Speaker 3: to China, to Singapore, and you're going away again next week.
5:17
Speaker 1: Back to Bali.
5:17
Speaker 4: Then let's go to Matt.
5:18
Speaker 3: You've been to Magnetic Island. You've been on a ferry
5:21
Speaker 3: and you've been to Bali.
5:22
Speaker 4: How many have I been to? Vietnam and four nights
5:26
Speaker 4: in Port Macquarie. Thank you very much.
5:28
Speaker 2: You went to Aladala that time. For work. You worked
5:34
Speaker 2: me to the bone. I went away for work. I
5:36
Speaker 2: was working on myself.
5:37
Speaker 1: How was Oscar getting ready for school?
5:39
Speaker 2: I wouldn't know. Today? No, no, it was here today,
5:45
Speaker 2: but he's been back since yesterday. He was sweet. He
5:49
Speaker 2: loves school.
5:50
Speaker 1: That's the dream. Marley's the same. She was like, I
5:53
Speaker 1: can't wait to see my friends. And Lola was like,
5:56
Speaker 1: don't touch me.
5:57
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was like Macy.
5:58
Speaker 1: I'm trying to get her ready for school and she's like,
6:00
Speaker 1: get your fucking hands off me.
6:02
Speaker 5: And Macy every morning goes, what are we doing today?
6:04
Speaker 5: And you've got to let her down easy every morning.
6:07
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
6:08
Speaker 1: She's like.
6:08
Speaker 4: I know.
6:09
Speaker 2: Prison.
6:11
Speaker 3: Lily doesn't like going to daycare anymore at the moment
6:14
Speaker 3: and drop off Lily.
6:15
Speaker 1: Oh, he's a Louis. I was like, he's going backwards.
6:17
Speaker 2: He's going backwards. No, Lily.
6:20
Speaker 3: And they're doing an excursion this week to Coles. It's
6:23
Speaker 3: the cutest thing because it's in the same shopping centre. Hey.
6:27
Speaker 1: Hang on. Is the teacher just having to fucking run errands?
6:30
Speaker 4: I know.
6:31
Speaker 2: And next week we're going to go to the post office.
6:33
Speaker 1: You should mention that.
6:36
Speaker 4: They've also done lessons on the post office.
6:38
Speaker 3: They are.
6:38
Speaker 2: It's like, I really need to get my hair done.
6:40
Speaker 2: They're like, guess what, kids?
6:41
Speaker 1: We go to a nail salon.
6:43
Speaker 2: Everyone put your hands out.
6:45
Speaker 4: Because they're teaching them about, like, Places in the community.
6:48
Speaker 3: And they've been learning about shops and vegetables and food
6:51
Speaker 3: and how food's made and how you can buy it.
6:52
Speaker 2: And shopping lists.
6:53
Speaker 4: And so they've had little shopping bags.
6:54
Speaker 3: They set up a little shop at the kindy.
6:56
Speaker 2: In the shop.
6:57
Speaker 3: No, no, no.
6:57
Speaker 4: They set up a little shop in kindy. And so
6:59
Speaker 4: they could like.
7:00
Speaker 1: Can you guys get the fuck out of here?
7:02
Speaker 4: They can take turns at like buying things and selling things.
7:05
Speaker 1: That's adorable.
7:06
Speaker 4: Then they get to take it a step further and
7:08
Speaker 4: go to a real life shop.
7:09
Speaker 2: They go to the one all the time, though.
7:11
Speaker 1: Do you know what?
7:12
Speaker 2: Don't they? Do you take your kids to the bell?
7:13
Speaker 3: Hell no.
7:13
Speaker 2: I take my kids all the time.
7:14
Speaker 1: I think we've spoken about this before is that parenting
7:16
Speaker 1: is really just like good marketing.
7:19
Speaker 2: Yeah.
7:20
Speaker 1: And you can make anything fun. You're like, hey, guys,
7:22
Speaker 1: we're going on an excursion.
7:23
Speaker 2: I know.
7:24
Speaker 1: To the shops.
7:25
Speaker 2: Like washing the car at my house was so fun
7:28
Speaker 2: until they did it. And they were like, you sold
7:31
Speaker 2: us the dream.
7:32
Speaker 3: Although my kids at the moment love just on the marketing,
7:35
Speaker 3: they love helping. So if I say, who wants to
7:37
Speaker 3: set the table?
7:39
Speaker 1: And they're like, me, me, me.
7:40
Speaker 2: What can I do? What play can I carry?
7:42
Speaker 4: And they're like super into it at the moment.
7:44
Speaker 1: Good marketing.
7:44
Speaker 4: And I think, yeah, if you put that spin on it,
7:46
Speaker 4: it's like, oh.
7:47
Speaker 2: I actually do want to help.
7:48
Speaker 1: They're so easily influenced.
7:50
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
7:50
Speaker 1: Idiots. But yeah, so they're at school.
7:52
Speaker 6: Great.
7:53
Speaker 2: Yes.
7:53
Speaker 5: Perfect.
7:53
Speaker 2: I dropped off to go after. I dropped off. Come on.
7:56
Speaker 2: It's okay. You're doing a really good job. This is
7:59
Speaker 2: going to be a long day. I dropped off. Let's
8:04
Speaker 2: forget about it.
8:04
Speaker 1: Slow it right down.
8:04
Speaker 4: Your son's name is Oscar.
8:06
Speaker 1: I dropped Oscar off this morning.
8:08
Speaker 2: He was pumped. I'd tell him to slow down because
8:10
Speaker 2: it was wet on the track. Slow down, boy. Easy,
8:13
Speaker 2: big fella.
8:16
Speaker 1: On a leash. And then just let him go up
8:18
Speaker 1: the front gate.
8:19
Speaker 5: He doesn't... I've got to look down the school track
8:22
Speaker 5: so I can see him for like 50% of it,
8:24
Speaker 5: but he doesn't know I can see him. So sometimes
8:26
Speaker 5: he'll walk really slow and then he'll start to run.
8:28
Speaker 5: And as he starts to run, I'm like.
8:29
Speaker 2: And it echoes. And he's like.
8:33
Speaker 1: My kids didn't, they wouldn't touch me as I dropped
8:35
Speaker 1: them off this morning.
8:36
Speaker 2: Why?
8:36
Speaker 1: I don't know. They were just, you did this to us.
8:41
Speaker 1: I was like, bye, guys. And Marley didn't even look back.
8:45
Speaker 1: And Lola was like, give me something, anything. And she
8:48
Speaker 1: was like, you look pathetic.
8:50
Speaker 4: So, yeah.
8:51
Speaker 1: So I got literally, I got no level of affection whatsoever,
8:56
Speaker 1: which is fine.
8:58
Speaker 2: You'll get it. It'll come back.
8:59
Speaker 4: Did you get any affection from Laura?
9:01
Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
9:03
Speaker 1: I actually did say this morning, we both happened to
9:05
Speaker 1: wake up really early and it's been a little while
9:09
Speaker 1: and Laura had- Since what? Since we had sex. And
9:14
Speaker 1: I did say, I just, I thought I'd throw it
9:17
Speaker 1: out there and she has a really busy day. You
9:19
Speaker 1: know what it's like when you wake up and you're like, shit,
9:21
Speaker 1: I've just got to like, I've got to get dressed.
9:22
Speaker 2: Oh man, I've got to get dressed. Busy day.
9:25
Speaker 1: You've got to get straight into it.
9:27
Speaker 2: Both socks have got to go on, both shoes. What's
9:29
Speaker 2: to do?
9:30
Speaker 1: And I said, we could have sex.
9:32
Speaker 2: No time.
9:33
Speaker 1: In the morning. And she was.
9:34
Speaker 2: Had a second one.
9:35
Speaker 1: Yeah, not that well. Wow.
9:38
Speaker 2: At least you tried.
9:38
Speaker 1: I tried.
9:39
Speaker 4: Is that how you propositioned it? We could have sex.
9:42
Speaker 1: How else are you meant to do it?
9:44
Speaker 4: Do you not learn anything from Julia?
9:46
Speaker 2: Do you want to take some notes from me?
9:48
Speaker 1: No, I just, I got on top of her. I
9:52
Speaker 1: laid there. I took my weight off the mattress. So
9:55
Speaker 1: she then felt my presence. And I said, we could
9:59
Speaker 1: have sex.
10:00
Speaker 2: No, what did she say? No, she was like, get off.
10:02
Speaker 1: And she's tapping me being like, I'm out, I'm out.
10:04
Speaker 2: And I was like, well. Yeah, we're halfway there. I
10:07
Speaker 2: just need two more minutes of your time.
10:09
Speaker 1: I was like, it won't take long. She politely declined
10:15
Speaker 1: the offer, which. Understandable.
10:18
Speaker 2: Wednesday, a bit of Wednesday action. Wednesday morning actions.
10:21
Speaker 1: I don't think we've had morning sex since Lola was born.
10:25
Speaker 2: No, you tried, remember? And then you couldn't keep the
10:28
Speaker 2: door shut, remember?
10:29
Speaker 4: Since Lola or Poppy?
10:31
Speaker 2: Lola.
10:31
Speaker 1: Morning sex. Morning sex.
10:32
Speaker 2: Didn't you try with the door?
10:34
Speaker 4: Since Lola.
10:34
Speaker 1: She's like five. Yeah. I know the age of my child, Vic.
10:40
Speaker 2: We don't do morning sex if we're away, maybe. If
10:42
Speaker 2: we're away without the kids, maybe.
10:44
Speaker 5: But otherwise, it's... All systems go in the morning, like
10:47
Speaker 5: in terms of getting out of the house.
10:48
Speaker 2: So I get it.
10:49
Speaker 1: All systems go.
10:50
Speaker 4: No, but if you wake early, that's a sweet spot.
10:53
Speaker 1: Hey?
10:53
Speaker 4: If you wake up early.
10:55
Speaker 1: Laura's not a morning person at all.
10:57
Speaker 2: April's up at like 5 o'clock.
10:59
Speaker 1: I think, yeah, I get it, okay?
11:02
Speaker 2: She's at the gym.
11:03
Speaker 1: Is that what we're calling it?
11:05
Speaker 6: The gym.
11:05
Speaker 2: I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish,
11:08
Speaker 2: but it's not.
11:08
Speaker 1: Hey, guys, we've got to get into housekeeping. Just really quickly, hats.
11:12
Speaker 3: Hats.
11:13
Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
11:14
Speaker 1: I have to break this news gently to anyone who
11:18
Speaker 1: is currently listening and thought, those hats look really good.
11:20
Speaker 1: And even the lavender one is lovely. Maybe I'll buy one. Well,
11:22
Speaker 1: you can't.
11:23
Speaker 2: Have they all gone, the lavender ones?
11:24
Speaker 1: Lavender's are gone.
11:25
Speaker 4: Incorrect.
11:26
Speaker 1: Oh, for God's sake, Vic. Come on.
11:28
Speaker 4: What have we got? So we just got an email
11:30
Speaker 4: this morning.
11:30
Speaker 3: Okay.
11:31
Speaker 4: Do you want to share?
11:32
Speaker 1: Yeah, please share. Share, share, share.
11:33
Speaker 3: So we have 12 left of the lilac. However, it
11:37
Speaker 3: was showing as sold out online because they sold so
11:41
Speaker 3: fast the computer couldn't keep up with the warehouse.
11:43
Speaker 1: Well, I actually gave a little buffer. So when I
11:46
Speaker 1: did the inventory on the website, I gave us a
11:48
Speaker 1: buffer of like 10.
11:49
Speaker 3: Yeah.
11:49
Speaker 2: Yeah.
11:51
Speaker 1: Ah, okay. Just in case.
11:53
Speaker 4: So it's Matt's fault, everybody.
11:55
Speaker 1: No, no, the last thing I want is for someone
11:57
Speaker 1: to buy because we have done all the T-shirts and
12:00
Speaker 1: they were like, I've been waiting two weeks on my
12:01
Speaker 1: shirt and I had to say, oh, it's actually sold out.
12:03
Speaker 5: You'd much rather not be able to buy it than
12:07
Speaker 5: be sold the dream.
12:08
Speaker 1: Because I actually think we'll take those 10, we'll save
12:11
Speaker 1: them for guests, so there's two hats available right now
12:13
Speaker 1: in lavender.
12:14
Speaker 2: Two hats. By the time this comes out, they'll be
12:17
Speaker 2: loving it.
12:18
Speaker 1: Yes, correct. But to everyone who bought a hat last week,
12:22
Speaker 1: we sold $ 120, which equates to $ 4, 200 that we are
12:27
Speaker 1: donating to Jai and his family.
12:29
Speaker 2: Very good. And congratulations to Jai, too. Got married.
12:32
Speaker 1: Oh, yeah.
12:33
Speaker 2: A wedding that they had.
12:34
Speaker 5: They got married in a courthouse here very quickly, but
12:37
Speaker 5: they always had this plan to go celebrate with all
12:40
Speaker 5: their friends and family in Italy. And I saw the
12:43
Speaker 5: Johns family went, most of the Rabideaus went.
12:45
Speaker 2: There was heaps and heaps. There would have been so
12:48
Speaker 2: many NRL players in Italy that weekend. It was crazy. But, yeah,
12:51
Speaker 2: congratulations to them. It looked amazing.
12:52
Speaker 1: It looked beautiful.
12:54
Speaker 4: Yeah, on Vogue.
12:55
Speaker 2: Yeah, very, very, very good. Now, calendars, Matt. Do you
13:00
Speaker 2: have an update?
13:01
Speaker 1: Okay, so we are... We're just selling nonstop here.
13:05
Speaker 2: Bye, bye, bye.
13:06
Speaker 1: What's next?
13:07
Speaker 3: Yeah.
13:07
Speaker 1: We are doing calendars. They will be coming out in
13:12
Speaker 1: a week or two.
13:13
Speaker 5: Oh, okay.
13:14
Speaker 1: I have some news that may be devastating to us. Oh, fuck.
13:20
Speaker 1: There's another podcast out there which is arguably one of
13:23
Speaker 1: the biggest in the country.
13:24
Speaker 2: I'll be the judge of that, but yep.
13:26
Speaker 1: We've had one of the hosts on this show, Ryan John.
13:30
Speaker 2: Ah, lovely, lovely man.
13:33
Speaker 1: He's a great guy.
13:34
Speaker 2: Except for now.
13:35
Speaker 1: Except now we're going to draw the battle lines and
13:38
Speaker 1: I think from this period on it's war.
13:41
Speaker 2: Well, we did attack.
13:43
Speaker 4: It was already on.
13:43
Speaker 5: Well, Matt attacked them at an award ceremony earlier this year.
13:48
Speaker 1: Yes.
13:49
Speaker 3: Fair.
13:49
Speaker 2: I'm very proud of you.
13:50
Speaker 1: In hindsight.
13:51
Speaker 2: I said, let's go say goodbye and congratulations. And I
13:54
Speaker 2: was like, I see you guys. And Matt came over
13:55
Speaker 2: the top and was like, I'm fucking.
13:57
Speaker 1: Because we lost an award to them.
14:00
Speaker 2: We don't do it for awards though.
14:01
Speaker 1: The best sponsorship integration I think it was.
14:03
Speaker 2: We don't do it for the awards.
14:05
Speaker 4: We do it for the dotas.
14:06
Speaker 1: We do it for the dotas. But now they have
14:08
Speaker 1: just launched, they're doing a calendar themselves and I think
14:11
Speaker 1: I looked at the photo that they posted and I
14:13
Speaker 1: believe they're doing characters from movies. Very funny. But I
14:18
Speaker 1: just want people to know. That's not funny. Thank you. Actually,
14:21
Speaker 1: I was being polite. It's actually a bit lame.
14:23
Speaker 2: It's no good.
14:24
Speaker 4: It's like cutting a yucca tree. Is what they've done.
14:27
Speaker 2: Exactly. But can I say this? Sex sells. And I
14:30
Speaker 2: think the sexier, we will sell more. They might have
14:34
Speaker 2: more listeners. They might have more tarpers, as they call them.
14:37
Speaker 3: But I actually think I saw that it's only available
14:40
Speaker 3: to people who subscribe on their Patreon.
14:43
Speaker 2: Okay. So, all right.
14:44
Speaker 3: All right.
14:45
Speaker 6: Okay.
14:45
Speaker 1: All right.
14:45
Speaker 5: So, they're asking for money on top of money. Hear that, Matt?
14:50
Speaker 5: They're trying to sell calendars using money.
14:54
Speaker 2: No, that doesn't make sense.
14:55
Speaker 1: They're baiting their listeners to subscribe to their Patreon and
15:00
Speaker 1: the bait is their calendar, whereas we will sell it
15:03
Speaker 1: to anyone.
15:04
Speaker 2: We're just double the prizes.
15:06
Speaker 1: So just if you're going to buy a calendar, if
15:09
Speaker 1: you're in the market for a calendar, just be patient.
15:11
Speaker 2: Yeah, be patient.
15:13
Speaker 5: Don't just jump at the first calendar you see until
15:16
Speaker 5: you see ours.
15:17
Speaker 1: And then if you look at ours and you go,
15:18
Speaker 1: that's not for me, that's absolutely valid. You can buy
15:21
Speaker 1: another one, whether it's Tony Ryan, whether it's Fireman, whether
15:24
Speaker 1: it's puppies.
15:25
Speaker 2: I don't see a world where it's not for someone.
15:28
Speaker 1: Well, I don't want to sound arrogant, but that's not it.
15:29
Speaker 4: It really is for everyone. There's a bit of eye
15:31
Speaker 4: candy in there. The boys are topless.
15:34
Speaker 1: We signed off.
15:35
Speaker 4: They are doing chores, ladies. They're doing chores.
15:38
Speaker 1: Signed off each individual image. It's gone to the printers.
15:41
Speaker 1: It is locked in.
15:43
Speaker 2: They will be ready in a couple of weeks. That
15:44
Speaker 2: was so sexy. That's why it's taking so long to print.
15:48
Speaker 2: because they can't get through every image. The printer was
15:49
Speaker 2: just overheating. All the pages are stuck together. All the
15:53
Speaker 2: months are stuck to each other. You should see how
15:56
Speaker 2: quickly you can go from June to July.
15:59
Speaker 3: Will we start drip feeding some of the photos on socials?
16:02
Speaker 5: Yeah, I reckon even some of the ones we didn't pick,
16:06
Speaker 5: but maybe.
16:08
Speaker 2: They'll run around.
16:09
Speaker 4: I've also got some behind the scenes shots that I took.
16:12
Speaker 2: I bet you do.
16:13
Speaker 4: Not creepy.
16:14
Speaker 3: Yeah, right.
16:14
Speaker 2: Take your shirt off.
16:15
Speaker 1: I have a quick question. This is not locked in.
16:18
Speaker 3: Okay.
16:19
Speaker 1: So I just, I'm going to put it out to
16:21
Speaker 1: you and to the listener and just get your thoughts,
16:24
Speaker 1: get a gauge on what you think of this opportunity
16:26
Speaker 1: that I've had.
16:26
Speaker 2: Oh, okay.
16:27
Speaker 1: Got a phone call. Okay. And on that phone call,
16:31
Speaker 1: the person on the other end said, hello.
16:32
Speaker 2: I said, hi.
16:33
Speaker 1: Okay.
16:35
Speaker 2: Can I get a transcript of this, please? I just
16:36
Speaker 2: want to verify.
16:36
Speaker 1: I said, who is this? They said, it's Alice. I said,
16:38
Speaker 1: how are you?
16:39
Speaker 2: Who the fuck is Alice?
16:40
Speaker 1: Well said. And she says, would you be interested? In
16:46
Speaker 1: any way, shape or form.
16:48
Speaker 2: Get to it.
16:50
Speaker 1: And jumping on a yacht as a working crew member
16:55
Speaker 1: from Sydney to Hobart.
16:57
Speaker 3: You? Yes.
16:57
Speaker 5: Did I think that you, because your New Year's resolution
17:02
Speaker 5: was to learn how to sail?
17:03
Speaker 3: It is.
17:04
Speaker 2: Oh, my God.
17:04
Speaker 5: You're going to make it.
17:05
Speaker 2: You're going to do it.
17:08
Speaker 1: That is my news resolution.
17:10
Speaker 4: Good connection.
17:11
Speaker 2: Thank you. Do you know how I know that?
17:13
Speaker 5: Because I've got you a kid's book that was written
17:15
Speaker 5: by a kid about sailing, but I forgot it and
17:18
Speaker 5: I found it again the other day and I was like,
17:20
Speaker 5: that's why it jogged my memory.
17:21
Speaker 1: I'll bring that on the yacht.
17:22
Speaker 2: Take it and go, well, this kid says.
17:24
Speaker 1: So do you have any experience? I'm like, yes.
17:26
Speaker 2: Okay, so that's pretty cool. Scary.
17:29
Speaker 4: Are you going to do it?
17:32
Speaker 1: Well, 1998, horrible year for Sydney to Hobart. Six sailors drowned.
17:37
Speaker 4: It's really dangerous. It's not that dangerous. It's really dangerous.
17:41
Speaker 2: You can do it.
17:42
Speaker 1: That was a bad year. I'll give that.
17:44
Speaker 2: That was 20 years ago.
17:47
Speaker 3: I have a friend whose husband does it every single
17:49
Speaker 3: year and every year she does hold her breath.
17:51
Speaker 4: But he's a great sailor. So am I.
17:53
Speaker 2: She holds her breath for the whole race.
17:54
Speaker 1: That's got to be a record. He comes home, he's like, honey?
17:57
Speaker 2: No!
17:58
Speaker 3: No!
17:59
Speaker 2: You're the one who drowned.
18:04
Speaker 3: It's a nerve-wracking thing because, like, yeah, you can topple over.
18:07
Speaker 3: Obviously there's lots of, like, rescue boats everywhere. But, like,
18:10
Speaker 3: those high seas when you're crossing the Bass Strait.
18:13
Speaker 2: Yeah.
18:14
Speaker 1: I was thinking back to when we did the cruise
18:17
Speaker 1: ship a few weeks ago and it was three meter swell.
18:19
Speaker 1: And obviously we're in this massive cruise ship. And even
18:22
Speaker 1: I was like, well, this is a bit rocky. And
18:24
Speaker 1: I was thinking, imagine being in a yacht and then
18:26
Speaker 1: imagine being thrown overboard.
18:27
Speaker 2: Who's the team?
18:30
Speaker 1: So it's with Starlight Foundation.
18:32
Speaker 2: Do you have to do the salute?
18:34
Speaker 1: I have to do the salute. But the issue is,
18:37
Speaker 1: two issues. I need to do the training, which requires
18:40
Speaker 1: a little bit of time. Not a huge amount, but
18:43
Speaker 1: you know... It's not a luxury I have.
18:45
Speaker 2: You're not starting from zero, though. I've seen you swim.
18:47
Speaker 2: You're a great swimmer. You're very fit. You are fit.
18:50
Speaker 2: You float.
18:51
Speaker 1: Thank you.
18:51
Speaker 2: What else do you need?
18:52
Speaker 1: Then the other issue is.
18:54
Speaker 2: How much time?
18:54
Speaker 4: Because that's time away from us and your family.
18:56
Speaker 1: It's a little bit. It won't impact the podcast. But
18:58
Speaker 1: then the other issue is we're down in Ulladulla for Christmas.
19:01
Speaker 1: I need to come back to be ready like at
19:04
Speaker 1: the start line by 7 a.m.
19:06
Speaker 2: Can't they just pick you up?
19:07
Speaker 1: Yes. Very good.
19:09
Speaker 4: Kiyomori.
19:10
Speaker 1: Very good.
19:11
Speaker 4: What does Laura say?
19:13
Speaker 1: She wasn't thrilled.
19:15
Speaker 2: You do whatever you want to do.
19:16
Speaker 4: I'm not surprised.
19:17
Speaker 1: Because we take it in turns with, you know, one
19:19
Speaker 1: year it's all the Johnsons are together and then the
19:22
Speaker 1: next year everyone's kind of dispersed. This is a Johnson year.
19:26
Speaker 1: So my brothers are coming down. They book flights. Everyone
19:28
Speaker 1: comes down Christmas Eve. So she's there going, then all
19:31
Speaker 1: your family, you're then leaving Christmas night to then drive
19:35
Speaker 1: back to Sydney for your race? Oh, Christmas night. Because
19:38
Speaker 1: I'd have to be there. Oh, yeah, because it's Boxing Day.
19:41
Speaker 1: So that's the big issue. And then she's like, and
19:43
Speaker 1: I've then got to pack the house up. And I've
19:45
Speaker 1: got to drive back with all the kids. And I
19:46
Speaker 1: was like, well, now you're just making it sound like
19:48
Speaker 1: it's a selfish thing to do. It's like.
19:50
Speaker 2: What am I trying to say?
19:51
Speaker 4: It is a big job. But what does Nana say?
19:53
Speaker 1: Oh, Nana's absolutely devastated. She's just full of panic at
19:58
Speaker 1: the moment and anxiety. She's like, because she remembers 1998.
20:02
Speaker 1: She still thinks that was last year.
20:03
Speaker 2: She's like, I remember.
20:05
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, she's seen it all.
20:06
Speaker 2: She's like, there's a couple of things I remember, the
20:08
Speaker 2: Titanic and that.
20:09
Speaker 1: Well, the only thing is I will just say, just
20:11
Speaker 1: to put your minds at ease, The boat is not
20:14
Speaker 1: trying to win. So if the conditions get bad, they're
20:17
Speaker 1: just like, we just pull out. Whereas those who have
20:20
Speaker 1: gotten into a bit of, you know, sticky situations, they're
20:22
Speaker 1: like going head on into the storm because they want
20:25
Speaker 1: to win the race.
20:25
Speaker 2: So are the kids on the boat too?
20:26
Speaker 3: No, Ash.
20:28
Speaker 2: So the kids aren't on there?
20:29
Speaker 1: There's no kids.
20:30
Speaker 2: Good.
20:30
Speaker 1: Just me and the other sailors and all the seamen.
20:33
Speaker 2: All the seamen?
20:34
Speaker 3: Yes. Okay.
20:37
Speaker 1: So I haven't made the decision, but just to put
20:40
Speaker 1: it out there and you guys are very excited to Laura.
20:43
Speaker 1: I'll say, Laura, it was my new year's resolution. This
20:45
Speaker 1: is fate.
20:47
Speaker 2: Yeah. You should definitely pull that one out.
20:48
Speaker 3: Yeah.
20:49
Speaker 2: And just be like, that's how you sell it. I
20:50
Speaker 2: think you should do it. I think honestly, when are
20:52
Speaker 2: you ever going to get an opportunity to do that again?
20:54
Speaker 1: And when I'm an old man, they're like, Dad or Grandad,
20:57
Speaker 1: tell us about that time when you won Sydney to Hobart.
21:00
Speaker 2: On the sea with the seamen.
21:05
Speaker 1: Haven't seen a woman for... Yeah, we haven't.
21:10
Speaker 6: We did things on that yacht that we'll never talk about.
21:12
Speaker 6: The only thing we've ever worn is cuddled naked. Skin
21:17
Speaker 6: to skin. When we crossed the equator. But, Grandad, you
21:20
Speaker 6: didn't cross the equator.
21:21
Speaker 2: It felt like it.
21:26
Speaker 4: Well, speaking of skin to skin, I do have some
21:28
Speaker 4: breaking news.
21:28
Speaker 2: Breaking news, skin to skin. All right, segue.
21:31
Speaker 4: Great.
21:32
Speaker 3: Well, a Houston dad has made history as the first
21:34
Speaker 3: in Texas to hold his premature baby skin to skin.
21:38
Speaker 3: using a groundbreaking wearable incubator known as the SkinCubator.
21:43
Speaker 4: The innovative device allows critically fragile.
21:45
Speaker 1: Can I just... One second. Very good name. The Skin...
21:49
Speaker 1: What is it? SkinCubator?
21:50
Speaker 2: I love how we're sort of loosening up a little bit.
21:54
Speaker 2: Just the news.
21:54
Speaker 1: May you just say that name again? SkinCubator.
21:57
Speaker 4: SkinCubator.
21:58
Speaker 1: SkinCubator.
21:59
Speaker 2: SkinCubator. Yeah, okay.
22:00
Speaker 1: SkinCubator. I like it.
22:01
Speaker 3: The innovative device allows critically fragile newborns to enjoy precious
22:06
Speaker 3: skin-to-skin contact with their parents while remaining connected to vital
22:09
Speaker 3: medical equipment.
22:10
Speaker 1: Why is skin-to-skin important?
22:13
Speaker 2: Isn't it more with mum, though, the first.
22:15
Speaker 4: No, it's both mum and dad.
22:16
Speaker 2: It's both mum and dad. Yeah.
22:18
Speaker 1: That's why a.
22:18
Speaker 4: Lot of men take their shirts off.
22:20
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just, I didn't know the reasoning when the
22:23
Speaker 1: baby was born.
22:23
Speaker 2: I was like, oh! Yeah, yeah.
22:26
Speaker 1: Look over there.
22:27
Speaker 2: Sir, why are you naked?
22:27
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like, get rid of the baby.
22:29
Speaker 2: I want him to feel comfortable.
22:31
Speaker 1: It's what we do.
22:32
Speaker 3: Yeah. So in what they call is the fourth trimester
22:36
Speaker 3: when the baby comes out, they still think they're in
22:38
Speaker 3: the womb. They have no idea, which is why you
22:40
Speaker 3: have to swaddle them up so tight and warm so
22:43
Speaker 3: that they feel like they're still in the womb. And
22:45
Speaker 3: so the skin-to-skin makes them feel like they're still in
22:48
Speaker 3: the womb because they can hear your heartbeat and they
22:50
Speaker 3: can feel everything.
22:51
Speaker 5: Why have we not created like a, I mean, they
22:54
Speaker 5: can make everything else, but why can't they make like
22:56
Speaker 5: an outside womb?
22:58
Speaker 4: Well, they have. They've just done this.
23:00
Speaker 2: Okay. Good to know. Is that what, okay, right, okay.
23:07
Speaker 2: Shut up.
23:09
Speaker 4: This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen.
23:11
Speaker 3: Like it actually makes me really excited for new parents.
23:15
Speaker 2: I'm excited too. Oh, God. That was.
23:19
Speaker 1: Surely, with the advancements in science, we could make something
23:24
Speaker 1: which is almost like a womb which is outside of
23:26
Speaker 1: the body. Ash, that's what we've been talking about for
23:29
Speaker 1: five minutes.
23:29
Speaker 2: In hindsight, I regret that. I regret that comment.
23:33
Speaker 1: Surely, sir, that is exactly.
23:36
Speaker 2: What I regret. Okay, I get it.
23:38
Speaker 1: Why have we not made it yet?
23:41
Speaker 4: It's not exactly like the womb.
23:43
Speaker 3: But basically if a baby is in special care and
23:45
Speaker 3: they need special attention, they've got lots of tubes or
23:48
Speaker 3: they might have the Billy Blue lights on, parents can
23:51
Speaker 3: still have them on their chest and they can still
23:53
Speaker 3: have that stuff all over them. Like when Lily was
23:56
Speaker 3: in special care, the hardest thing about.
23:59
Speaker 4: That was that she was in a box and I
24:01
Speaker 4: couldn't touch her. Very true.
24:03
Speaker 3: So I think any parent who has been through that
24:05
Speaker 3: will understand how difficult precious this invention is yeah.
24:10
Speaker 1: I shaved my chest so i so so it was
24:13
Speaker 1: too spiky for skin on skin so i i was
24:16
Speaker 1: unable to.
24:17
Speaker 2: All three times you think i've learned by the third.
24:20
Speaker 1: Time no i actually i did i i let it
24:22
Speaker 1: grow out i timed it i was like give me
24:24
Speaker 1: all this hairy man the baby was like what the
24:26
Speaker 1: fuck is this imagine if you were like laying on sandpaper.
24:30
Speaker 5: Thick hairy person and it's like So you're going to
24:33
Speaker 5: have to shave to actually achieve skin to skin.
24:36
Speaker 1: They would like it. They would.
24:39
Speaker 2: Like a cat.
24:39
Speaker 1: Yeah, like ease into the hair.
24:41
Speaker 4: It would be like a pillow.
24:42
Speaker 1: Yeah.
24:45
Speaker 2: You're like.
24:47
Speaker 4: I don't mind a bit of hair on the chest.
24:50
Speaker 1: Before we move on, just when will they make.
24:53
Speaker 2: Shut up.
24:54
Speaker 1: A womb that is.
24:54
Speaker 2: Okay.
24:55
Speaker 5: That's.
24:57
Speaker 1: Surely we're close.
24:58
Speaker 2: Look, I haven't been in the country that long, so
25:00
Speaker 2: I'm just trying to relearn.
25:01
Speaker 3: Also, the whole point of the fourth trimester is so
25:03
Speaker 3: the baby learns to adjust to be out of the womb.
25:05
Speaker 4: So we don't want to, like, mimic the womb forever.
25:08
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like 35. We're always in bubbles. I'm a
25:11
Speaker 2: bubble boy.
25:11
Speaker 1: Oh, just quickly. Poppy took her first steps.
25:17
Speaker 2: Yes, that's right.
25:18
Speaker 1: Wow.
25:19
Speaker 4: That is such a huge milestone.
25:22
Speaker 1: I know. It's so weird, though. I've been training her.
25:25
Speaker 1: I'm like, come on, do it. And she just stands there.
25:28
Speaker 2: I know that video is so cute.
25:30
Speaker 1: She's so confused that she's on her back legs. And
25:34
Speaker 1: we're like, come on, come on. And she just stood
25:37
Speaker 1: there for like a minute, frozen. And I was like,
25:39
Speaker 1: I think it's broken.
25:40
Speaker 2: Because the bottom of their feet is so rounded too.
25:43
Speaker 2: But I'm back.
25:45
Speaker 1: Welcome back, Ash.
25:46
Speaker 2: I'm back again. And look, I'll be honest.
25:49
Speaker 1: Or should I say, ni hao ma.
25:51
Speaker 2: Ni hao ma. Ni hao ma. I did go.
25:53
Speaker 5: So for the listeners, I went to China and then
25:55
Speaker 5: I went to Singapore and then I went home.
25:58
Speaker 4: Did we just skip over Poppy's first step?
26:00
Speaker 2: Yeah.
26:01
Speaker 5: When she's doing a full few steps, we'll pick back
26:04
Speaker 5: up on it.
26:05
Speaker 4: Doesn't that feel like a huge thing for you? Does
26:08
Speaker 4: that make you feel sad that your baby girl's growing up?
26:12
Speaker 2: Technically, they're all growing up. Technically, as soon as you're born,
26:15
Speaker 2: you're done.
26:16
Speaker 1: I'm all for it, to be honest.
26:18
Speaker 4: Or is it because she's the child? She's like, yeah,
26:20
Speaker 4: I've seen this before.
26:21
Speaker 1: No, it is really cool. It is really cool. She
26:24
Speaker 1: is getting... She is better now. Not that she wasn't good,
26:27
Speaker 1: but I'm not like massive on the newborn phase.
26:31
Speaker 4: Yeah.
26:31
Speaker 1: I like it when they're interactive.
26:33
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay.
26:33
Speaker 2: When they're giving back more, yeah.
26:34
Speaker 1: Yeah, when they can.
26:36
Speaker 2: When they can put a dish away for you.
26:37
Speaker 1: When they can do. But it is, yeah, it's pretty cool.
26:41
Speaker 2: It's pretty cool.
26:42
Speaker 1: It is going very quick. Yeah. I will say that.
26:44
Speaker 2: Accomplishes one.
26:45
Speaker 1: I will say that.
26:46
Speaker 2: I know.
26:47
Speaker 1: Goes so quick, guys.
26:48
Speaker 2: It does. That does sound very Donald Trump-y. I went
26:52
Speaker 2: to China.
26:52
Speaker 1: It's very, yeah, very cliche, but it goes, yeah, you
26:55
Speaker 1: remember you have to save every second.
26:58
Speaker 2: Yeah.
26:58
Speaker 4: Thank you.
26:59
Speaker 2: Okay, is that enough for you, Vic?
27:00
Speaker 1: Yeah.
27:01
Speaker 2: Oh, this is a huge moment. Yeah. We'll pick back
27:04
Speaker 2: up on it, though, when she's running.
27:05
Speaker 1: She did it last week, so for me it's old news. Sorry.
27:07
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah. It was on socials. We've been there. We've
27:10
Speaker 2: been there. It's great. It's cute. I like it. Yes,
27:12
Speaker 2: so China, Singapore, home. And I will say I am.
27:16
Speaker 5: Cursed because, as we know, the last trip I tried
27:18
Speaker 5: to take, A volcano went off and I missed out
27:20
Speaker 5: on everything that I had planned to do whatsoever. And look,
27:25
Speaker 5: first of all, I'm very privileged to have the chance
27:27
Speaker 5: to do as much travel.
27:30
Speaker 3: Okay.
27:30
Speaker 1: Must be nice.
27:31
Speaker 2: It is nice.
27:32
Speaker 5: The last trip I went to go on was sort
27:34
Speaker 5: of like I've done X amount of days without alcohol.
27:37
Speaker 2: I wanted to reward myself and pick up back on
27:40
Speaker 2: a passion that I've had my whole life, which is surfing,
27:42
Speaker 2: which I have neglected so far this year.
27:44
Speaker 1: May I ask you a question?
27:45
Speaker 2: Sure.
27:45
Speaker 1: Do you have a lot more money without drinking?
27:49
Speaker 2: Yeah, the answer is yeah, for sure.
27:51
Speaker 3: Great.
27:51
Speaker 2: But I spend it on other things. Like Oreos and
27:55
Speaker 2: dumb things. I've had to cut down the Oreos again.
27:58
Speaker 3: Okay.
27:58
Speaker 2: They hurt my inside of my mouth too much.
28:01
Speaker 1: What's your body being like?
28:02
Speaker 2: Excessive Oreos. We've had enough. Yeah.
28:04
Speaker 5: You think pooping an Oreo and then cutting my mouth
28:07
Speaker 5: open with an Oreo, I'd have enough.
28:09
Speaker 2: But I'll be back. Don't you worry. It comes in
28:11
Speaker 2: ice cream form too. So there you go. Yeah.
28:15
Speaker 5: But the last trip, it was to sort of like,
28:19
Speaker 5: regain a love for something i've done my whole life
28:21
Speaker 5: which is surfing i've sort of neglected it i've fallen
28:23
Speaker 5: out of love with it because i haven't been able
28:25
Speaker 5: to do it as much since becoming a dad you're
28:27
Speaker 5: a very good surfer thank you so i went to
28:29
Speaker 5: do that and then i got halfway there and a
28:31
Speaker 5: volcano went off and i had to turn around and
28:32
Speaker 5: come home i also threw my back out april got
28:35
Speaker 5: sick it was just like the fucking worst but like
28:37
Speaker 5: i said lucky that i get to have these experiences.
28:40
Speaker 2: So in that case, I was already going to Singapore for.
28:42
Speaker 5: The Grand Prix for two nights with my online race
28:45
Speaker 5: league guys, which I hadn't even met before.
28:46
Speaker 1: Whoa.
28:49
Speaker 2: So.
28:50
Speaker 1: You guys are like those.
28:50
Speaker 4: It's like online dating.
28:51
Speaker 2: I know. Don't yuck my yum. I'm not yucking it.
28:55
Speaker 2: Make me murder it. Sounds like it. Get on my
28:57
Speaker 2: bad side. Let's find out what happens.
28:59
Speaker 1: At the airport with a sign being like, I'm looking
29:02
Speaker 1: for Cliff. Hello.
29:05
Speaker 4: They know what you look like because you're on Instagram.
29:07
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're like, where's the towel?
29:08
Speaker 1: Well, for anybody who doesn't know, Ash has a group
29:11
Speaker 1: of friends.
29:12
Speaker 2: Online.
29:13
Speaker 1: Who he meets with online.
29:14
Speaker 2: They're dads.
29:15
Speaker 1: And they're dads. And they do car racing together.
29:17
Speaker 2: Shout out to the Slow Bros. Shout out to the
29:19
Speaker 2: Slow Bros.
29:20
Speaker 5: We get together online at night on Thursday night after
29:24
Speaker 5: all the kids have gone to bed to... Talk about
29:27
Speaker 5: like to race, but also there's a lot more chatter
29:29
Speaker 5: that happens there.
29:30
Speaker 2: It's sort of.
29:30
Speaker 1: Do you have a headset?
29:31
Speaker 3: Yeah.
29:32
Speaker 5: It's also like a non-confronting way as well that people
29:34
Speaker 5: talk about what's happening in their lives i think it's
29:37
Speaker 5: really good yeah and there's like what not all of
29:40
Speaker 5: us are dads but then i thought.
29:41
Speaker 4: It was like just typing and racing no no no.
29:43
Speaker 5: We there's you know lots of banter also lots of
29:46
Speaker 5: like what's happening what's going on with you and then
29:48
Speaker 5: obviously i am way more online than these guys in
29:50
Speaker 5: terms of like my social media so they can see
29:52
Speaker 5: what i'm doing we chat they They listen to the pod.
29:55
Speaker 2: They watch all the pod clips. So don't fucking poo-poo them.
29:57
Speaker 4: Oh, shout out to the league.
29:59
Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you.
30:00
Speaker 2: To the slow bros. So I went.
30:02
Speaker 1: See, we all go to Singapore into the rain.
30:05
Speaker 3: Oh, fuck off.
30:05
Speaker 2: Fuck off. How dare you? Anyway, at least I've got
30:08
Speaker 2: a hobby.
30:10
Speaker 4: Hey, he's got a yacht.
30:12
Speaker 1: Yeah.
30:13
Speaker 2: He's sailing.
30:14
Speaker 1: We're my yacht friends.
30:16
Speaker 2: I know, yeah. The yacht league.
30:18
Speaker 5: Have you ever heard of Sydney to Sir or whatever?
30:22
Speaker 2: Sydney to Hobart.
30:23
Speaker 1: That's not Sydney to Hobart. Give it some respect.
30:25
Speaker 2: Let me fucking get through this, would you? Both of you.
30:28
Speaker 1: So you're in Singapore?
30:30
Speaker 2: No.
30:30
Speaker 5: So I went to China first because there is a
30:32
Speaker 5: new wave pool there. I thought I'm going to Singapore anyway.
30:35
Speaker 5: I might as well not go to Singapore first.
30:39
Speaker 2: I'll go to China for a couple of days. Love that.
30:41
Speaker 2: And then go to Singapore and then go back. Now,
30:43
Speaker 2: in theory, great.
30:44
Speaker 5: The only problem I have here is that I seem
30:48
Speaker 5: to be cursed with rain.
30:51
Speaker 2: Okay. I leave the country. It's beautiful here when I leave.
30:55
Speaker 2: It wasn't when I was leaving. It was raining. I
30:59
Speaker 2: get to China. It's not even their wet season. They've
31:01
Speaker 2: got an El Nino here.
31:03
Speaker 5: And my guide that I'm with, this Chinese guy, says
31:06
Speaker 5: it's never rained like this here before.
31:08
Speaker 1: You hate hearing.
31:09
Speaker 2: That when you're on holiday.
31:10
Speaker 1: It's never normally this shit.
31:12
Speaker 5: It was so bad that the Chinese government shut down
31:16
Speaker 5: all water sports.
31:17
Speaker 2: In the whole country.
31:19
Speaker 1: So no surfing?
31:20
Speaker 2: No, you weren't allowed to go in the ocean. You
31:22
Speaker 2: weren't allowed to do any. The water parks were closed. Why?
31:24
Speaker 5: The wave pool was closed because of the storm and
31:27
Speaker 5: the rain activity.
31:28
Speaker 1: Too dangerous.
31:28
Speaker 2: Too dangerous.
31:29
Speaker 4: Electrical storm, wasn't it?
31:30
Speaker 5: Yeah, they didn't want anyone to. So I'm dealing with that. Thankfully,
31:34
Speaker 5: I've got two days worth of surfing in.
31:35
Speaker 1: Oh, wow.
31:36
Speaker 2: Thank God. China is misunderstood. I reckon because they live
31:42
Speaker 2: in their.
31:43
Speaker 5: Own ecosystem, which is their own internet, their own. You
31:46
Speaker 5: have to have a VPN to get any communication with
31:48
Speaker 5: you from inside out in terms.
31:51
Speaker 2: Of social media.
31:51
Speaker 5: They don't have Google, all this sort of stuff.
31:54
Speaker 2: But it was so refreshing to get there. And it's
31:56
Speaker 2: like your internet history doesn't exist over there.
31:58
Speaker 5: So like you think you get there and you're like,
32:01
Speaker 5: you could pretty much have a fresh start if you
32:02
Speaker 5: really wanted to. It was refreshing to feel like that.
32:05
Speaker 5: I'm like, damn it, I've got a wife and kids
32:06
Speaker 5: at home. I could have a new set of wife
32:09
Speaker 5: and kids over there and no one would know.
32:11
Speaker 1: If it comes out that Ash has got a family
32:13
Speaker 1: in China....
32:16
Speaker 2: But this place, it's.
32:17
Speaker 5: Called Hainan Island, okay, and it is touted as the
32:20
Speaker 5: China's version of Hawaii. And I tell you right now,
32:23
Speaker 5: it is the greenest place I've ever been. Like the rainforest,
32:28
Speaker 5: the scenery was unbelievable through the rain.
32:31
Speaker 1: Of course.
32:31
Speaker 4: It's a tropical climate. Yeah.
32:33
Speaker 1: It was raining, but the beach, there's a wave pool,
32:36
Speaker 1: there's a beach there. Is the beach good?
32:37
Speaker 2: The beach is beautiful.
32:38
Speaker 1: Would you ever take the kids there?
32:40
Speaker 2: I'm going to take them back. I'm going to take
32:41
Speaker 2: them back. Can I tell you right now, the beaches
32:44
Speaker 2: are big. The scenery is beautiful. The sand is like nice.
32:49
Speaker 5: It's honestly, I was like blown away because I didn't,
32:52
Speaker 5: I was not expecting that.
32:54
Speaker 4: Should we all go to China?
32:54
Speaker 2: We should all go to China. I think we should
32:56
Speaker 2: all go to China.
32:57
Speaker 1: Should we move the podcast to China?
32:58
Speaker 5: Honestly, and I said to you on the phone the
33:00
Speaker 5: other day, I said, I reckon if you change the
33:02
Speaker 5: color of their flag, it wouldn't be so, the stigma
33:05
Speaker 5: around it, because people see it and they think, oh, okay, well,
33:07
Speaker 5: China's just like China. The pollution in China is reduced
33:10
Speaker 5: by like 80%. I did get warned not.
33:12
Speaker 2: To be recruited. I feel like I've been recruited. I know.
33:15
Speaker 1: Ash has been brainwashed. He's a communist now. Are they
33:17
Speaker 1: still communists over in China?
33:18
Speaker 2: Is he a spy?
33:19
Speaker 3: Maybe.
33:20
Speaker 1: Are you Ash?
33:21
Speaker 2: Maybe.
33:22
Speaker 5: But I'll say, like I said, it was beyond my
33:25
Speaker 5: expectations in terms of what it was like.
33:28
Speaker 2: It was honestly like a coastal town. It was beautiful.
33:30
Speaker 3: Let's go.
33:31
Speaker 2: Okay.
33:32
Speaker 5: Yeah.
33:32
Speaker 4: I feel like China is the great unknown.
33:34
Speaker 3: Yes.
33:34
Speaker 6: Yeah.
33:35
Speaker 2: Like I said, they misunderstood.
33:36
Speaker 5: People misunderstand their efficiency for rudeness.
33:40
Speaker 2: That's the problem. And when I got there, it's so
33:43
Speaker 2: hard to find anyone who speaks English, okay, because they're not,
33:46
Speaker 2: they're in their own bubble.
33:48
Speaker 5: The crime rate in China, the homicide crime rate in
33:50
Speaker 5: China has dropped 12% year on year for like the
33:53
Speaker 5: last 10 years or something like that.
33:55
Speaker 2: It's unbelievable.
33:56
Speaker 1: This guy. You're really in a time.
33:58
Speaker 5: No, because they don't have the crime that we have.
34:00
Speaker 5: It's so safe for women to walk around at night
34:03
Speaker 5: because they don't have the same.
34:05
Speaker 2: When I was talking about what happened.
34:07
Speaker 5: Here last week around the whole Alleged Sam Wood, et cetera.
34:11
Speaker 5: When I was talking about that, he was like shocked.
34:15
Speaker 5: This guy, my God, he was like, that would just
34:17
Speaker 5: never happen in China. He goes, the biggest crime we
34:20
Speaker 5: have is financial crime because majority of the time when
34:24
Speaker 5: manufacturing in China was huge.
34:27
Speaker 2: Okay.
34:27
Speaker 5: You didn't have to have a patent for a product.
34:29
Speaker 5: So people were making products and copying each other left, right,
34:31
Speaker 5: and center. But all they're doing now is backdating that
34:33
Speaker 5: because now there's laws. The biggest crimes are financial crimes. right,
34:37
Speaker 5: there's a separate jail for the accountants. And the saying
34:40
Speaker 5: in China is you're not a good accountant if you
34:42
Speaker 5: haven't been to prison.
34:44
Speaker 2: Okay, because that's their thing.
34:47
Speaker 4: Righto, China.
34:47
Speaker 1: Who came up with that saying all the accountants?
34:49
Speaker 2: That's their thing. And then they're, yeah, well, what happens
34:52
Speaker 2: is they get recruited straight out of jail over there.
34:55
Speaker 2: They come out of jail and get recruited, the accountants.
34:57
Speaker 4: You're in a jail, we want you.
34:58
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly right. Big businesses, right? So China, I would
35:02
Speaker 2: say my whole outlook on China, do you know who
35:05
Speaker 2: said to me, they messaged me and said- Caspian. Yeah.
35:08
Speaker 3: I know.
35:08
Speaker 2: Do you know what he said to me? I told
35:10
Speaker 2: you he was different when he came in. It was soapbox.
35:12
Speaker 2: He sent me a message saying, don't get recruited. And
35:13
Speaker 2: I said, honestly, I could use the discipline. If you're recruiting,
35:19
Speaker 2: I'm here. I'm keen.
35:20
Speaker 1: I'm first in line.
35:21
Speaker 2: I'm so keen.
35:22
Speaker 5: Anyway, so I went from on the last day of
35:24
Speaker 5: my trip there before I was to fly out the
35:27
Speaker 5: next early morning. So I had to cut the China
35:30
Speaker 5: trip short because on the last day they shut down,
35:32
Speaker 5: the country shut down all water sports. It was absolutely
35:36
Speaker 5: pissing down. So I decided to move on to Singapore.
35:39
Speaker 1: To greener pastures. Yes.
35:40
Speaker 2: And I landed in Singapore.
35:42
Speaker 5: At 3 o'clock in the morning and I had a
35:43
Speaker 5: big surfboard. I'm like, I don't want to have to
35:44
Speaker 5: carry this through Singapore because I'm here for a different reason.
35:46
Speaker 5: So I sought out a bag storage place at 3
35:49
Speaker 5: o'clock in the morning in the airport.
35:50
Speaker 4: Yeah, Singapore is amazing.
35:52
Speaker 2: An amazing airport. I walk in. Get this. I walk in.
35:55
Speaker 2: There's no one there, obviously. And there was one guy
35:57
Speaker 2: working there behind the counter and he was half asleep.
35:59
Speaker 2: He was just falling asleep. He was like this. He
36:02
Speaker 2: was like. Oh. Anyway, I've walked in as he's like
36:04
Speaker 2: that and see me. And he was like, this is
36:06
Speaker 2: his attitude.
36:09
Speaker 1: Oh, Nate, the.
36:10
Speaker 5: Full grown, like, oh my God. Anyway, so he stood
36:14
Speaker 5: up and he was like, yeah. And I was like,
36:16
Speaker 5: he was like, what? I was like, just one bag.
36:19
Speaker 5: English speaking country in Singapore. So much easier for me
36:21
Speaker 5: to understand because I speak fluent English most of the time.
36:24
Speaker 1: Allegedly.
36:25
Speaker 2: Allegedly. And I was, but he's like, I was like,
36:27
Speaker 2: just one bag. And he was like, oh, Moses did what?
36:31
Speaker 1: And I was.
36:32
Speaker 2: It was so inappropriate and so rude. I'll do it.
36:35
Speaker 1: It's fine. You relax.
36:36
Speaker 2: But this time of the morning, I just found the
36:38
Speaker 2: whole thing so funny. And he was just like, well,
36:40
Speaker 2: I'm back. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
36:41
Speaker 5: So he charged me and I was like, oh, I
36:43
Speaker 5: actually need it for a couple of nights. He's like,
36:44
Speaker 5: you just pay the overdue fee. And like was the
36:48
Speaker 5: most rudest person I've ever met at three o'clock in
36:51
Speaker 5: the morning. Anyway, then I left, had to, I called you.
36:54
Speaker 5: I think it was like three o'clock in the morning.
36:55
Speaker 5: I think it would have been like six o'clock in
36:57
Speaker 5: the morning here because I'd stupidly left China early to
37:01
Speaker 5: get to Singapore so I wouldn't be delayed. But I'm
37:03
Speaker 5: there so early that nothing's open. It's three o'clock in
37:07
Speaker 5: the morning. I'm just wandering the streets.
37:09
Speaker 2: With nowhere to go. It's 30 degrees at three o'clock
37:12
Speaker 2: in the morning.
37:13
Speaker 1: Missing China, I'm sure.
37:14
Speaker 2: Missing China. These stupid English speakers.
37:17
Speaker 1: Not with my Chinese brethren anymore. I know.
37:19
Speaker 2: And so I was like, literally wandered the city for
37:22
Speaker 2: hours and hours and hours. And then eventually.
37:23
Speaker 4: You should have shot some content.
37:25
Speaker 2: I was just like so tired. I was so tired.
37:28
Speaker 2: I found a hotel that I don't think I was tired.
37:31
Speaker 2: I think I was tired. I don't want to work
37:32
Speaker 2: all the time. Anyway, I found a hotel for two hours.
37:37
Speaker 1: I was looking for something to do. But not that.
37:41
Speaker 2: Anything but that. I thought that would look so.
37:44
Speaker 4: Cool, like you in the empty streets of Singapore.
37:47
Speaker 2: You could make it look like.
37:48
Speaker 1: It's been done.
37:48
Speaker 2: I only do originals.
37:50
Speaker 1: Okay. Okay.
37:52
Speaker 2: So I found a hotel that had a two-hour window.
37:55
Speaker 2: It was an hourly hotel, wasn't it? A brothel.
37:57
Speaker 1: Oh, God. What if you were booking brothels?
37:59
Speaker 3: I know.
38:00
Speaker 2: Damn it.
38:01
Speaker 1: Like a moth to a flame.
38:02
Speaker 5: So I managed to get a little sleep, met up
38:03
Speaker 5: with the race league for the first time. Anyway, I
38:06
Speaker 5: sat down in the grandstand ready for the start of
38:08
Speaker 5: my F1 weekend.
38:11
Speaker 1: With your race league friends?
38:12
Speaker 3: Yep.
38:12
Speaker 2: Guess what? It rained. It fucking bucketed down.
38:16
Speaker 3: Wow.
38:17
Speaker 2: Right there. And then I get a video message from
38:19
Speaker 2: my Chinese brethren. The sun's out in China. The sun
38:24
Speaker 2: is out.
38:24
Speaker 1: It was the most beautiful day. They're just doctoring photos
38:26
Speaker 1: to try and draw them back in. It's a monsoon.
38:28
Speaker 1: They're like, look, Ash, it's great.
38:31
Speaker 4: Come back.
38:32
Speaker 1: Come back to us.
38:34
Speaker 3: I would like to hear what was that moment like
38:37
Speaker 3: meeting your online friends for the first time?
38:40
Speaker 2: Well, one of them I had met before. It wasn't
38:43
Speaker 2: all of us. It wasn't all of us. There was
38:45
Speaker 2: meant to be four of us, okay, out of the,
38:48
Speaker 2: I think there's like seven or eight.
38:49
Speaker 1: Were you nervous? I was.
38:51
Speaker 2: You would be.
38:52
Speaker 1: What do I wear?
38:53
Speaker 2: There's a couple of things I wanted to achieve on
38:55
Speaker 2: this trip.
38:55
Speaker 4: What's your opening line?
38:56
Speaker 2: Because I have... Yo, what's up? Guys, I want to
38:58
Speaker 2: get serious for a second. Can you shut the fuck.
39:00
Speaker 3: Up, please?
39:00
Speaker 1: Okay, sorry.
39:02
Speaker 5: There's a couple of things I wanted to achieve on
39:03
Speaker 5: this trip. One, regain the passion for something I've done
39:06
Speaker 5: my whole life.
39:07
Speaker 2: Tick. Tick. I would say tickish. Yes, the rain ruined
39:10
Speaker 2: the last day, but I feel like.
39:11
Speaker 1: I take it.
39:12
Speaker 5: I feel like I got what I needed out of that.
39:14
Speaker 5: And the other one was to put myself out of
39:16
Speaker 5: my comfort zone a little bit because I feel like since...
39:19
Speaker 5: just quitting drinking, I'm less social. So I'm missing that interaction.
39:23
Speaker 5: It's also, I've noticed that when I don't have that interaction,
39:27
Speaker 5: it flows into the rest of my life where I,
39:29
Speaker 5: i used to feed off that and i forgot about
39:32
Speaker 5: that so this was okay i when the when they're
39:35
Speaker 5: like look we're gonna assign you a guide in china
39:37
Speaker 5: a young guy young surfer guy i my first brain
39:40
Speaker 5: instinct is i don't want to meet new people You
39:42
Speaker 5: know how you have that feeling?
39:44
Speaker 1: As you get older, it's so easy for your world
39:46
Speaker 1: to get smaller and smaller.
39:47
Speaker 2: It would have been so easy for me to do
39:48
Speaker 2: what I would usually do. And that is to surf, surf, isolate, surf, surf, isolate,
39:52
Speaker 2: do my own thing. probably masturbate a lot i.
39:55
Speaker 6: Was thinking that i was like you were i said
39:57
Speaker 6: you were i even said to you i'm like what
39:58
Speaker 6: do i do now i'm done how.
40:00
Speaker 1: Do i say masturbate in a way that's a bit
40:02
Speaker 1: more family friendly isolate.
40:05
Speaker 5: It could have been so easy to do that and
40:08
Speaker 5: then it was like how many.
40:09
Speaker 2: Times did you do it this is a family show.
40:13
Speaker 4: You talk about it all the time yeah but.
40:15
Speaker 2: You want you need to know way too much.
40:17
Speaker 4: Detail no i don't actually want to know.
40:19
Speaker 2: What i'm empty.
40:21
Speaker 5: If that helps i don't need to know that So
40:24
Speaker 5: it would have been really easy for me to just not,
40:27
Speaker 5: to just do that. But I thought, okay, I'm here
40:29
Speaker 5: because I need to learn how to be a part
40:32
Speaker 5: of society without being pissed.
40:34
Speaker 2: Yes. In situations where I'm meeting people. Without that crutch. Yeah,
40:38
Speaker 2: without that crutch.
40:40
Speaker 5: And also as well, I underestimate my capabilities to communicate
40:44
Speaker 5: a lot.
40:45
Speaker 2: Even though I do nothing but talk all the time,
40:47
Speaker 2: if that makes sense.
40:48
Speaker 5: I communicate where- New people. New people, new people. And
40:50
Speaker 5: it's like, all right, I'm going to get over that
40:52
Speaker 5: fear with this.
40:54
Speaker 2: So there was that.
40:55
Speaker 5: And I felt like in China, I spent two days
40:57
Speaker 5: with this guy, I learned so much about China and
40:59
Speaker 5: he took me to so many great places.
41:01
Speaker 2: I am now a Chinese.
41:02
Speaker 5: And then I moved to Singapore to catch up with
41:05
Speaker 5: people that I talk to all the time, but I
41:06
Speaker 5: never actually hang out with. And again, it was a
41:09
Speaker 5: whole new experience for two or three days with people
41:12
Speaker 5: that I don't really know a whole lot about these
41:14
Speaker 5: people other than what we talk about.
41:16
Speaker 1: So it's high risk. Hanging out with people is high
41:18
Speaker 1: risk because let's be honest, like when your social battery,
41:22
Speaker 1: when you get, I think when you get older, your
41:24
Speaker 1: social battery just in general becomes so much smaller and
41:27
Speaker 1: there's nothing worse than being out where you can't make
41:30
Speaker 1: a quick getaway with people who, you know, you don't
41:32
Speaker 1: want to be with because your social battery is gone
41:34
Speaker 1: and you're like, well, I'm going to just fucking endure this.
41:36
Speaker 3: Yeah.
41:37
Speaker 5: So for two days, we clocked up like 60,000 steps.
41:39
Speaker 5: We just did a whole heap of stuff that I
41:41
Speaker 5: would not usually do on a trip on my own.
41:43
Speaker 5: Because I've told this before where I usually just isolate.
41:47
Speaker 2: Anyway.
41:47
Speaker 3: Did you introduce them to your mentee b-walk?
41:51
Speaker 2: Yeah, we did a lot of mentee b-walks.
41:52
Speaker 1: They're all like, Ash, our feet are bleeding.
41:54
Speaker 2: They're like, we're chafing.
41:55
Speaker 1: Keep walking.
41:56
Speaker 2: We want to go back and masturbate.
41:58
Speaker 1: Yeah, Ash, please.
42:00
Speaker 4: What was that first moment like, though?
42:02
Speaker 2: Did it feel like a date? It kind of felt
42:05
Speaker 2: like I was just meeting old friends. It was really,
42:07
Speaker 2: really good. That's beautiful. And one of the guys, unfortunately, who.
42:10
Speaker 5: Couldn't make it in the end because he was doing
42:12
Speaker 5: a little trip with his family. They were in Vietnam
42:15
Speaker 5: first and their son got sick.
42:18
Speaker 2: Okay, get this right. He spewed up in the gate
42:21
Speaker 2: terminal for the plane to get on. And they wouldn't
42:24
Speaker 2: let him on. That's so annoying. He was like, I
42:27
Speaker 2: wish he just did it on the fly.
42:29
Speaker 4: 100%.
42:29
Speaker 5: So he missed out on the entire thing because it
42:32
Speaker 5: was so hard to get in and out of Singapore
42:34
Speaker 5: because of the Grand Prix. So it would have been
42:36
Speaker 5: four of us, but there were three of us. And
42:38
Speaker 5: it was honestly like catching up.
42:39
Speaker 1: You'd have so much resentment towards your child.
42:41
Speaker 2: I know. He was like.
42:43
Speaker 1: I love you.
42:43
Speaker 3: I love you. I love you.
42:44
Speaker 2: Yeah.
42:45
Speaker 5: And it's like it was honestly like catching up with
42:47
Speaker 5: a dad's group. Okay, we got to talk about all things.
42:50
Speaker 5: They've got young kids as well. The oldest is 46, Flo,
42:55
Speaker 5: who's got an 18, a 16, a 12, and a 7-year-old.
42:58
Speaker 1: So he's a leader.
42:58
Speaker 2: And he's a single dad.
43:00
Speaker 1: Wow.
43:00
Speaker 2: And he's honestly just one of the nicest guys ever.
43:03
Speaker 5: And it was like catching up with old friends and
43:06
Speaker 5: we had a really great time the whole time.
43:08
Speaker 2: So I felt like I ticked that box a bit.
43:10
Speaker 1: Did you miss me?
43:11
Speaker 2: Not at all.
43:13
Speaker 3: I love that, Ash, and I'm really proud of you
43:14
Speaker 3: because I know that would have been hard and it
43:16
Speaker 3: requires guts and there's not a lot of guys who
43:18
Speaker 3: would actually go out and put themselves out to do that,
43:20
Speaker 3: so bravo.
43:21
Speaker 2: Thank you. Well done. Thank you. It was great. And
43:24
Speaker 2: then I flew home.
43:25
Speaker 4: I think more men could learn from that.
43:27
Speaker 2: Thank you very much.
43:28
Speaker 1: Look at you two being nice to each other.
43:30
Speaker 2: Finally. I know, we're like brother and sister sometimes. But
43:33
Speaker 2: I did. No, because I think about men.
43:34
Speaker 1: Vic's like, so back to the masturbating.
43:37
Speaker 2: Back to the masturbating. What hands did you use? Well,
43:39
Speaker 2: good news, Vic, I can change hands. I'm so proud
43:42
Speaker 2: of you, Ash. What position were you in? I've got
43:45
Speaker 2: some good news for you, Vic. I can change hands
43:47
Speaker 2: without missing a stroke.
43:49
Speaker 3: Anyway.
43:50
Speaker 4: No, because I think about Dan and I know that
43:52
Speaker 4: he's masturbating.
43:54
Speaker 2: God, no.
43:55
Speaker 3: He doesn't have heaps of friends. And I know as
43:57
Speaker 3: he gets older, his circle is getting.
43:59
Speaker 4: Smaller and smaller.
44:00
Speaker 2: It's just part of life.
44:00
Speaker 3: And I think it's such a good thing to like
44:03
Speaker 3: get out of your comfort zone, as you said, and
44:05
Speaker 3: put yourself out there. And who knows, you might find
44:07
Speaker 3: people who are really on your level.
44:09
Speaker 2: Yeah.
44:09
Speaker 5: Like even the guy from, I've definitely been recruited. Even
44:12
Speaker 5: the guy from China.
44:17
Speaker 2: Anyway, let me get back to the end of the story.
44:18
Speaker 1: So all I have to do is give 20% of
44:20
Speaker 1: my income to him.
44:21
Speaker 2: It's not a church. I've got to sign off. I've
44:25
Speaker 2: got to pray every three hours.
44:26
Speaker 4: Did you give all your phone passwords and things like that?
44:29
Speaker 2: Guilty. I have a Chinese phone now. I found a
44:34
Speaker 2: really cheap route home that was business class to treat
44:37
Speaker 2: myself because I thought if I get.
44:39
Speaker 4: Love treating himself this year.
44:41
Speaker 2: He should. I should. I fucking should.
44:43
Speaker 4: How many days sober are we?
44:45
Speaker 2: We are 311 days.
44:47
Speaker 1: Also, guys, life is very short. You've got to self-indulge.
44:51
Speaker 2: 100%.
44:52
Speaker 5: If you do take a longer route home, it is cheaper,
44:56
Speaker 5: which I did. I did the waiting around so that
44:57
Speaker 5: I could lay down for my back as well.
44:59
Speaker 2: It's much better.
45:00
Speaker 5: But I discovered a new ick while I was doing it,
45:03
Speaker 5: and it wasn't me.
45:05
Speaker 2: Thank God I.
45:06
Speaker 5: Saw it before I did it. So on business class,
45:08
Speaker 5: there's the flat beds when you do an overnight flight.
45:10
Speaker 1: I wouldn't know.
45:11
Speaker 5: You do know because you took the business class over
45:14
Speaker 5: giving it to your wife from South Africa.
45:15
Speaker 1: Continue.
45:16
Speaker 2: Yeah. How quickly this could turn.
45:18
Speaker 5: Anyway, so obviously when you're ready for bed, okay, they
45:22
Speaker 5: make up the bed for you, which is fine because
45:23
Speaker 5: it's a thing that goes over the top.
45:25
Speaker 2: But the ick is this, okay, and.
45:27
Speaker 5: I saw a fully grown man do it, is he
45:29
Speaker 5: laid down after the bed was made and he laid
45:32
Speaker 5: there while the person put the blanket over him.
45:34
Speaker 4: LAUGHTER Like a little boy being put to bed.
45:38
Speaker 1: We're really all just like big kids.
45:42
Speaker 2: And I went. There are big kids. I thought I'd
45:44
Speaker 2: draw the line there. Make my bed, but don't tuck
45:47
Speaker 2: me in.
45:48
Speaker 1: Did they offer it?
45:50
Speaker 3: Yeah.
45:51
Speaker 2: And I was like, no, no. They offer a tuck-in service.
45:54
Speaker 2: You're missing out on the tuck-in. I was like, no, thanks. No, no, no.
45:58
Speaker 1: No one's going to judge you. No one's going to
46:00
Speaker 1: know you're on that flight.
46:01
Speaker 2: Unless another one of me is on the flight.
46:03
Speaker 1: Someone gets their phone out.
46:04
Speaker 2: That guy, yeah, yeah.
46:05
Speaker 1: Can you just when you get home be like, April,
46:07
Speaker 1: can you just?
46:08
Speaker 5: Honestly, it was like laying down and just picture this,
46:11
Speaker 5: a fully grown man with his business.
46:13
Speaker 2: Class pyjamas on, socks on.
46:16
Speaker 4: They're very comfy.
46:17
Speaker 5: He's got his eye mask ready to go and he
46:20
Speaker 5: was like.
46:21
Speaker 2: I'm ready now.
46:22
Speaker 1: I'm ready.
46:22
Speaker 2: And she was like. Here's your teddy. That was like
46:25
Speaker 2: the parachute thing.
46:26
Speaker 3: Yeah.
46:27
Speaker 1: Ash, imagine someone putting a tablecloth on a table. That
46:30
Speaker 1: is the action Ash is doing right now.
46:31
Speaker 4: Sorry.
46:31
Speaker 2: I forgot that this is mainly audio. I get home
46:34
Speaker 2: and guess what? What? It's raining.
46:37
Speaker 1: Oh, wow.
46:39
Speaker 5: Wow.
46:39
Speaker 2: So they always say, take the weather with you. I
46:42
Speaker 2: literally just took it around the world.
46:43
Speaker 1: Is the Chinese brethren still like, Ash, it's sunny and
46:45
Speaker 1: 24 over here.
46:47
Speaker 2: 24 is 32 degrees.
46:48
Speaker 1: Come back to China.
46:50
Speaker 2: It's 32 degrees.
46:52
Speaker 5: And also they do this thing you wouldn't understand and
46:54
Speaker 5: you probably wouldn't understand.
46:55
Speaker 2: They call it farm to table. They killed a chicken
46:58
Speaker 2: and then cooked it in front of me.
46:59
Speaker 4: Did you see them?
47:00
Speaker 2: No, no. But get this, right?
47:03
Speaker 1: Fresh.
47:04
Speaker 2: It was so fresh. But these chickens, right?
47:06
Speaker 4: How long did it take to cook?
47:07
Speaker 2: Four minutes.
47:08
Speaker 4: Deep fried.
47:08
Speaker 2: I'll tell you how. So chicken out the back. This
47:11
Speaker 2: restaurant backed onto a big mango crop. So the chicken,
47:14
Speaker 2: its whole life, eats nothing but mango.
47:17
Speaker 1: Sweet.
47:18
Speaker 4: Mango chicken.
47:19
Speaker 2: Mango chicken. Okay. Then they kill the chicken.
47:22
Speaker 5: They chop it up and they cook it in front
47:24
Speaker 5: of you in coconut water. And they let it boil
47:28
Speaker 5: and broth out while you pick at it. And obviously
47:32
Speaker 5: with the Chinese, they eat everything. So there's everything in there.
47:35
Speaker 2: The feathers? No.
47:37
Speaker 1: Well, they don't eat everything then, do they?
47:39
Speaker 4: You said they kill it and then they put it
47:41
Speaker 4: in front of you.
47:41
Speaker 2: Would you say the feather is part of the chicken?
47:43
Speaker 1: Well, if I ate everything, then I would eat the feathers.
47:45
Speaker 2: No, so they pluck it. They pluck it.
47:48
Speaker 4: That's what I'm asking. How long does this take after
47:50
Speaker 4: they kill it?
47:50
Speaker 1: It's quick.
47:51
Speaker 2: It's quick.
47:52
Speaker 1: Doesn't take to deep like a chicken he's getting a
47:54
Speaker 1: fucking yeah the cling film off a little like supermarket
47:58
Speaker 1: bought chicken he's like yeah this is what we just.
48:00
Speaker 2: Imported from woolies anyway so it was um yeah straight
48:05
Speaker 2: into this.
48:05
Speaker 5: Oh it was the food was unbelievable i would if
48:08
Speaker 5: you have ever have an opportunity to go to highland
48:10
Speaker 5: island okay look if you.
48:12
Speaker 3: Do we get all right relax We get it.
48:17
Speaker 4: I do want to go. It sounds amazing.
48:19
Speaker 2: Visa free, 30 days.
48:20
Speaker 4: And did you spend all your meals with this young gentleman?
48:24
Speaker 2: Yeah, most of.
48:25
Speaker 3: That's great.
48:26
Speaker 2: Except when I was wanking.
48:27
Speaker 1: Well, I'm glad, Ash. It sounds like you had a
48:30
Speaker 1: very successful trip, even if you had some rain with you.
48:35
Speaker 2: Monsoon or rain, yeah.
48:36
Speaker 4: He's come back with a beard, though.
48:37
Speaker 1: Oh, he's come back with a, he's a bloody hippie.
48:40
Speaker 4: Yeah, he looks great.
48:41
Speaker 1: He's a mess.
48:43
Speaker 2: He's a mess. I trimmed it.
48:45
Speaker 1: If you have enjoyed this episode as much as Ash
48:47
Speaker 1: enjoys China, please. Actually, can the Chinese listen to us?
48:51
Speaker 1: Probably not.
48:52
Speaker 2: No, they can't. I'll leave a link in the bio
48:53
Speaker 2: for you guys to sign up.
48:54
Speaker 1: For my Chinese brethren. How do you say bye in Chinese?
48:58
Speaker 2: I don't know. I know how to say thank you.
48:59
Speaker 2: Xie xie. Thank you.
49:01
Speaker 1: There you go. Xie xie. Leave us a review. Subscribe.
49:04
Speaker 1: A few comments. Spotify. There's Apple Podcasts. We don't get
49:07
Speaker 1: any comments on Apple Podcasts. It kills me.
49:09
Speaker 2: Good. That'll trick them. That's bye. Yeah, I knew that.
49:15
Speaker 1: And if you want to follow us on social media, Ash,
49:17
Speaker 1: where do you go?
49:18
Speaker 2: Instagram, TikTok. Facebook, YouTube. Or you can email us at
49:22
Speaker 2: hello at 2don' tdads. com.
49:24
Speaker 1: Well said.
49:25
Speaker 2: Also, 2don' tdads. com is where you can get your hats.
49:27
Speaker 1: For those that are remaining.
49:29
Speaker 2: Those remaining. There's other things on there too.
49:30
Speaker 3: Yes, before we go, I'd just like to also mention
49:33
Speaker 3: we do still have some white T-shirts if people want them.
49:37
Speaker 3: They're very limited stock, but there's medium, large, extra large,
49:41
Speaker 3: and 2XL. Great.
49:43
Speaker 1: Love that. We'll see you guys next week on Monday
49:47
Speaker 1: for a housekeeping episode.
49:48
Speaker 2: With lots of juice. Housekeeping juice.
49:51
Speaker 1: Well said. Okay, bye.
49:52
Speaker 3: Bye.
50:02
Speaker 1: Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
50:06
Speaker 1: throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community.
50:10
Speaker 5: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
50:13
Speaker 5: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait
50:15
Speaker 5: Islander peoples today.
50:17
Speaker 2: This episode was recorded on Gadigal land.