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Growing Up as NBA Star Olden Polynice's Daughter – Alexis Polynice | Born To The Game Podcast · Born To The Game Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I think when I was a little younger, maybe six
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: or so, when we would go out with our dad,
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: the looks, everything else, his presence.
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: People wanting autographs, right pictures and.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Okay, my siblings and I would be a little embarrassed.
• 0:15
  Speaker 3: This is one to the games me in every beat
• 0:19
  Speaker 3: in mine with the President met learunning, our bus and
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: the timeless. But as time along on to the game,
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: carrying in the play goes up the path. But it's annoying.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: We run that proclaim.
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: This is on to the game.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: Lets play.
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: Welcome to Born to the Game. Produced by Arcamedia Group
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: and collaboration with Inflection Network and distributed through iHeartMedia. This
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: is a space where the children and families of iconic athletes, entertainers,
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: and figures share the truth behind legacy, not just what
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: their families did, but who they were and how that
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: legacy continues. Today's guest is Alexis Polonies, daughter of former
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: NBA player Olden Polonies.
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: But Alexis's story isn't about following her father's footstep. It's
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: about understanding how those footsteps shaped her from navigating a
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: relationship that felt distant at times to building something meaningful
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: on her own Alexis has carved out a path rooted
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: in care, connection and self awareness. Today, she opens up
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: about love, identity, and what it really takes to build
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: a legacy of her own.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: Police.
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: Welcome to the show, Alexis, Alexis Polonaise.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: Thank you guys so much for having Hey.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: That was good.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: We didn't good today?
• 1:53
  Speaker 4: Wait?
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: Kay is it good or no?
• 1:56
  Speaker 4: Or do I need to redo it?
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: No?
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: I thought it was great.
• 1:59
  Speaker 4: Okay great, Evan gave.
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: Evan gave us the thumbs up. Did you like your intro, Alexis.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: What does the audience say to you?
• 2:10
  Speaker 4: Good?
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: Okay, We're good. Okay, Hey Sis, We're so excited to
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: have you here. Thank you so much. I know Tamara
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: said that she's not here physically, but she is here
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: visually and in the spirit.
• 2:23
  Speaker 4: It's very weird being here.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: Okay, it's our first time doing it this way, but
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: already know it's going to be fantastic. Tamara, do you
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: want to explain to the people why you are not
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: here physically or do you want me to just go ahead?
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: And you know somebody just decided to get married.
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: You show them your ring, girls, flash them that ring
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: says wow, he did.
• 2:46
  Speaker 4: A beautiful job. Shout out he did to my head's
• 2:50
  Speaker 4: bay seemed to be next.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: Congratulations, thank you, thank you so much.
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: But Mariah is a bridesmaid and my darling, darling nephew,
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: Nazir will also be on the wedding, so I just
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: couldn't you know, wedding planning is crazy.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: So I love it.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: Yes, we're excited, we're excited, but we're even more excited
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: to have you here to just unpack your story. You're
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: so vulnerable, and I think your story will resonate with
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: so many people, and I think the audience would just
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: love to get to know who Alexis is and all
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: of the incredible things that you're doing. So let's dive
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: into Are you ready, let's go. First question I have
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: for you, what was your experience like having a dad
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: as an NBA player And when did you realize your
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: dad was different from other dads. What was that moment like,
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: oh shoo, dad's an NBA player.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: I remember very early on getting a sense of things
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: because I remember going to the games when I was
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: maybe three years old, and I had no clue that
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: my father was on the court. I had no clue
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: why we were there. Typically I didn't like going. And
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: it wasn't until I was maybe in fifth grade or
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: something and I was doing a school project and I
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: remember I had not really spoken to my dad in
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: a little bit, and I was like, man, what's his birthday?
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: And I had to like google it, you know. I
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: was like, oh, I can just search it up. And
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: so I was like, I know that, like my friend's
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: dad who's a doctor, like can't search himself up or whatever.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: So I was like, there's something to be said about that.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: So yeah, at some point I was like, oh, you know,
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: there's a backstory, and okay, yeah, I think that's when
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: it kind of clicked.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: So how did you know that you were able to
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: look up your dad in the fifth grade? Like what
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: made you think you were able to do that?
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: I knew that my dad. I think when I was
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: a little younger, maybe six or so, when we would
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: go out with our dad, the looks everything else, his presence.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: People wanting autographs or right pictures, and my siblings and
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: I would be a little embarrassed.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: Because we were like, why are these people coming up
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: to us? But I think that's when I started noticing
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: that it was a little bit different sometimes I would
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: talk to my friends and you know, they asked me, like,
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: what does your dad do? And I would typically start
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: by saying, I'm like, my dad plays basketball. And people
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: are like, your dad plays basketball like all day and
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: I'm like, no, like in the NBA. And it's kind
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: of I'm like, it was the only kid. I grew
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: up in the suburbs. So it's just, you know, I
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: kind of had this experience where I was the only
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: I was one of a kind in many ways. So
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I guess, yeah, I don't know.
• 5:53
  Speaker 5: So how many games do you remember going to?
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: Like do you remember like physically seeing him running up
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: and down the court and score in baskets? You remember
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: post games?
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: I remember? I mean, so by the time I was born,
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: I was born in nineteen ninety eight. Okay, my dad
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: would have been playing for the Sacramento Kings.
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: Oh a shout out to the Sacramento Kings.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yes, I was born in Sack and he had
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: just been traded to the Utah Jazz. Ok we moved
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: to Utah and I would have been no more than
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: four years old by the time we left Utah. And Okay,
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: it's like on his way to retirement, so.
• 6:36
  Speaker 4: You can't really remember.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: I remember sometimes going to the games. I do remember
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: going and like being with all of the moms and
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: all the other okay, you know, baller babies and babies.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: It was a lot of fun. I remember that.
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: Okay. So what did your day to day look like
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: as a kid.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: Day to day? I'm one of four children. I am
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: the second eldest, and it's boy girl boy girl two
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: years apart, so we're all super close. We were raised
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: by our mom mostly, and my parents separated when I
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: was six, So everything before then was like what people
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: assume life is like when your dad plays professional basketball.
• 7:27
  Speaker 5: Right, No, so what expict?
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: Well, because you mentioned that people have this preconceived notion
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: of what life was like for you, So what idea
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: do you think people have, right?
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it's always changed throughout life. But yeah,
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: I think people just had an assumption that I had things,
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: and typically it was not the case because my life
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: was so different from my peers who also had dads
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: in the NBA. Okay, so most of my friends, like
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: their parents were still together and they had like, you know,
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: two parent household. They still had finances and people made
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: the assumption that that was my life, okay, and it wasn't.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: It was the opposite, I think. And there was money
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: and stuff, right, and my mom had money coming in
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: every month, but because there were four of us, there
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: were a lot of things that we missed out on.
• 8:28
  Speaker 5: Okay.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, But going back to like assumptions, I think people
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: just off bat will look at you and.
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: Assume that your life looks a way that's for you.
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: That wasn't the case. Yeah, So your parents separated when
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: you were around four? He said four to six. Yeah, okay,
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: and so you guys are you guys are in a
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: separate home then your dad, So would you say that
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: your relationship with him was distant at that time or
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: was he still very present in your.
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: Life throughout my entire childhood. He I always knew as
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: a kid he traveled a lot. I traveled a lot
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: because I did childhood modeling and stuff. Yeah, so I
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: actually was moving around a lot, and so I was
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: kind of off doing my thing at four years old.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: But I always knew Dad would leave and then he'd
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: like come back, and like that was it. Yeah, to
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: this day, that's still the case. Like it still reflects
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: like in my relationships. But yeah, you know, he wasn't
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: really around whether he was playing basketball and he was
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: off or he didn't want to be.
• 9:55
  Speaker 4: There, you know.
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: And I'll say this, my parents have been together since
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: they were fifteen sixteen high school high school, and my
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: dad is still gone all the time. So I just
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: think it's something about being a part of sports entertainment
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: and your life is always on the go, go go.
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: They don't know how to slow down. Even if they
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: are married with kids at home, they still find their
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: way outside of the home. So that's just that's one
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: of the unfortunate parts about growing up in this business.
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: So describe your relation. Oh sorry, tea, go ahead.
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well, just about how she felt and being at
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: such a young age and realizing that he's gotten his
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: absence whether from work.
• 10:43
  Speaker 4: In that time.
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: How did that make you feel.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: I think I was so young that I didn't notice.
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: I mean he would leave and funny like he would
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: be gone at a game. I would be like in
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: Montana for a beauty pageant. My mom would be like
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: the hotel phone is ringing, Like I wonder who's on
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: the phone.
• 11:07
  Speaker 4: That was my dad.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: So I just knew that, like every time he called.
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: When I was a kid, he'd go Hi, alexis like,
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: and when he was home, we were super close. Like
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: I had a speech impediment growing up, and I realized
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: that I was trying to like mock my dad's New
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: York accent.
• 11:28
  Speaker 5: Is he from New York?
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: He's from Haiti? He's from Portaparo? Okay, he grew up
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: in Haiti or he grew up in New York.
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: Have you been to Haiti before?
• 11:37
  Speaker 4: I haven't.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: Okay, my dad doesn't want me to go.
• 11:39
  Speaker 5: Okay, understandable.
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, I get it. Okay, but.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he's from Haiti. And you know, I remember just
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: being really close to him. I always I loved my mom.
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: I also grew up with a lot of nannies. Okay,
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: so if my dad wasn't around or my mom wasn't around,
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: it was just my nanny is So I didn't really
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: have a problem with that. And I think that's why
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: I wasn't concerned about him being gone.
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: You know, I was so young and this was like
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: his routine that it was. I didn't know where he
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: was going, but I knew he'd come back.
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: You mentioned earlier that him being gone it felt like
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: you were missing something? What was at least one thing
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: that you felt was missing with him being absent.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: I think it was more of a want for my siblings.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: My brothers had a really difficult time not having our
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: dad around.
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: I didn't ever really mind, Like it never affected me. Like,
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: and people will say like, oh, like someone has daddy
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: as she's or whatever. Like my siblings will say that
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: to me, like your traumatized. We're all trauma ties because
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: dad wasn't around. They would say that about you, about me,
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: about themselves. They're like, we all have trauma. And I'm like,
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: that's not traumatic to me. I don't.
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, oh okay, And.
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: I have a lot of respect for my dad and
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: so you know, he was off living his life. If
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: he didn't have the income that he had, there would
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: be no me because my parents wouldn't have met. It's
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: just like everything's all tight in. But yeah, anyways, I'm
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: what was the original question?
• 13:37
  Speaker 5: No, I think you're you're doing a great job explaining.
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: I think, if anything, let's talk about how your relationship
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: was then, So describe your relationship with your dad growing
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: up in one word. Feel free to elaborate, and how
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: would you describe your relationship with him today in one word.
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: Today, I would say fair, okay, and understanding. In the past,
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: I would say, hmm, I'm not sure if I could
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: be one word distant, I guess that that could be
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: the word. It's less distant, it's more. Sometimes I worry,
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: like I have a little shame that it's like, should
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: I have missed my dad more? Should I like have
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: these things that have affected me? And I'm the only
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: one of my siblings who was like right in the
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: middle of everything. So my brother's a bit older than me,
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: so he had a feeling of stuff. My younger siblings
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: didn't get the same vibe of like my dad's career
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: or what the relationship was. Like, I've moved like to
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: thirteen different schools. I've moved different schools, yeah, because every
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: time we like I went to two schools in Utah
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: and then we moved to la and I went to
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: two elementary schools, okay, three elementary schools because I was
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: swapped out because like you know, our siblings, every time
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: someone moved up a grade, like we were either rotating
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: in or out. So okay, yeah, and so we we
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: sort of.
• 15:29
  Speaker 5: Just no, no, your so when you look back and.
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: You're like, you know, mom and dad split and we
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: had to move, and did you feel like there was
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: no stability? Did you feel like that experience helped shape
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: who you are today to a certain extent?
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: It's funny. I think that the fact that he was
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: gone so much was the reason that once they actually split,
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: nothing had changed.
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: How does a daughter process distance from her father and
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: still learn how to love, nurture, and rebuild. Because we
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: know that your career has taken you into nannying, and
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: I know your experience growing up with nannying nurturing. You're
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: the second oldest, right eldest daughter, eldest daughter caring for
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: your siblings. So how do you process or how have
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: you processed the distance from your dad? And how have
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: you applied that to how you show up today for
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: the kids that you nanny, how you show up for
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: your relationships with people.
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, So the way I processed it was just by
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: living my life. I really didn't see anything wrong with it,
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: And if anything, it was like I was like, yeah,
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: some dads are just not around. But like at the
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: end of the day, some dads are deadbeats and they're
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: not around and they don't have the career that my
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: dad had. They don't have really anything to offer, and
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: so I always knew, like, even if he wasn't here,
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: My god, are we lucky to like live in Calabasas
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: and not have to worry about anything most days?
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: How that's played into the rest of my life is
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: that because my dad was gone all the time, I
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: try to be very present most people and things in
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: my life. However, it wasn't until I was like twenty
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: two that I realized, oh my god, every single guy
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: I've ever dated was a long distance relationship. And I
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: asked myself, why interesting? And I'm so used to this
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: masculine love and like that maybe that's like what was missing, right,
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: And so as I'm progressing through my relationships, I realize
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: the guy I'm dating comes and he's here for a
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: week and then leaves for three weeks, and I'm totally
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: fine with it. And I'm like, you know, it's my
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: dad did the same thing.
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: Okay, I was.
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: I have no problem with it, you know, And so
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: with relationships, that's how it sort of played out. I Also,
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: I've spent a lot of my teen years thinking how
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: can I pre how can I avoid anything that would
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: lead me to my dad, like to marrying a version
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: of him?
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: Oh so what version of your dad are you trying
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: to avoid? The in and out? Is it a personality trait?
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: It was a couple of things, Okay, it was mostly yeah,
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: not so much personality things, just because I know my
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: daddy is loud, so I'm like, I need someone who
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: is not. Yeah, I love you, dad, but he's loud.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: So I got distracted again.
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: No, no, you're fine. I know you're fine. You said no, No,
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: you said that your boyfriend comes in and he leaves,
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: and you're like, this is normal for me. But I
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: do want to ask you. Have you gone into therapy?
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: I have, okay, but not typical therapy. It's not like
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: I'm going yeah, once a week or anything. I see
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: a psychiatrist and you know, just telehealth like once a month.
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: Oh very good. Okay.
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: Do you encourage people to if and not just because
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: anything's wrong, but just in general. I am the queen
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: of advocating for people to talk to anyone, whether it's
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: for your personal growth, healing a relationship, trying to figure
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: out your career path. I am someone who is an
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: avid believer that everyone needs to talk to someone.
• 19:56
  Speaker 5: So even as you look back.
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: On your life and something's that you may have normalized,
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: I'm just curious to know if you've talked to a
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: professional who's able to just help guide you through some
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: of those moments.
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I have. I think one of the things that
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: they do really well is just giving you a different perspective. Yeah,
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: sometimes that's all you need to just and it's not
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: always like a perspective that's like, oh, you know, it's
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: something relevant to like hear and right now. Sometimes you're
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: thinking about it and you're like, oh my god, that's
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: why I date the guys that I date because my
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: dad would leave and come back and it starts to
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: sort of make a little bit more sense. But yeah,
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: I've always found it to be pretty valuable. I definitely
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: think that even if it's like temporary, you know, or
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: just like go and maybe get a second opinion sometimes
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: about anything, like you never know what could come of us.
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: Absolutely, absolutely, Yeah, it's always so interesting to to learn
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: of that connection though.
• 21:01
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean, it's just.
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: So long ago when you barely remember that it just
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: finds its way into your current life. I it's bizarre
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: and it's it's People try not to connect the two
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: and say, oh, it doesn't make a difference of you know,
• 21:20
  Speaker 3: because you know, we're adults now and we can make
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: our own decisions, but subconsciously, somewhere in our bodies, it
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: just it affects our everyday life, you know what I'm saying,
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: These you know, young girls with you know, dreams and
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: lip gloss and all this different stuff, and and you
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: just would never dream that, you know, twenty twenty plus
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: years later, it's, you know, navigating how you see the world.
• 21:48
  Speaker 4: It's it's, it's it's I mean.
• 21:50
  Speaker 3: It's obvious that it happens, but it's just so interesting
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: to me that how you know how much it does.
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: Right, And I'll say that in therapy, I have noticed
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: that it was difficult sometimes to talk about it, not
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: because of anything else really other than I don't think
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: they're gonna get it, you know, like if I explain
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: certain things, they're like, well, it sounds like your mom
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: took great care of you, and.
• 22:17
  Speaker 5: It sounds like, oh, okay, you.
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: Know, everything was okay, And I'm like, I don't. I
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: don't know how to break it down any further. I've
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: had difficulties like explaining it to my friends because sometimes
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: there's a judgment and they're like, I wouldn't be mad
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: if I lived in that house or I have this car,
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: or just anything the family.
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: Dismissing your feelings in a sense.
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: And so yeah, that's the reason for the show though,
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: because when because the other other kids that get on here,
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: it's the same thing. They can't really I haven't lived
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: through it. It doesn't make sense to have them why
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: you would have a problem. But what you're saying, the
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: next person will be like, I.
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: Totally get it, and I think the difference Sorry, g
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: I was gonna say, I think the difference too is
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: because our dads are known. If we sit down and
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: we say, oh, well, this is what my dad did
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: to me and this is how he made me feel
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: growing up, for me at least, I would feel like,
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: oh shit, well, other people know who my dad is,
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: so I don't want people to judge him either because
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: of how I feel. And so naturally you suppress a
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: lot of emotions and you don't know how to speak
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: up and be authentic and organic because you also know
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: that other people know who your father is. So I
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: understand that completely but this is why, to Tamara's point,
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: we've created this safe space for people to feel like
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: there's no judgment. No one's judging anyone's parent. It's all
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: love here, no matter what. And we know that you
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: love your father, and we know that your father loves you.
• 23:55
  Speaker 5: So at the end of the.
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: Day when you're definitely not alone, yea, yeah.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: Absolutely at all.
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah this yeah. Yeah, and I was really lucky. Actually
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: I ended up going to high school with for some reason,
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: we all landed in Calabasas, like Mitch Richmond and his
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: family can yeah, Cajun, Brittany and Brandon. Yeah, we've known
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: them for so long, Like we've known each other since
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: we were four, and by fate or something else, we
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: all were in the same area. And so those people
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: understand and they kind of have a similar nature arts
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: they're kind of a little reserved to a degree, and
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: I think that's something that or maybe most people. It's
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: almost like a little secret and like you don't know
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: how to you don't know who's going to take it
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: and be like your dad did what how much money
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: do you have?
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: Better know what team? Yeah, it can go on and on.
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: So yes, no, we understood. Point, I understand. So we
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: see you, we resonate with you, and again big big hugs.
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: I think we should dive into who you are and
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: what I'm like to you and where you're going.
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: So Tamara, absolutely, let's do it so we know that you.
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: It sounds like with you, you sounded to be like
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: really mature as.
• 25:30
  Speaker 5: A kid, just beyond her years.
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: You do.
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: You seemed very uh, just mature. I could see this
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: little four year old just like you know, dad has
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: to go. That's just what he has to do. Yeah,
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: and it's but what were you like when you were
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: when you were younger, I was.
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: Full of energy. I would wear red cowboy boots and
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: I love it nothing else. I was like three years old,
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: only it's on like walking around. So I was a
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: very free child. I loved like brown sugar oatmeal and
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: cookies and I would be like, I need more brown
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: sugar oatmeal. Like I was a sugar baby. It was
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: like not that kind of sugar baby.
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: But like you said, not that look wink wink, not
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: that sugar baby.
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I was, you know, I was very happy. I
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: remember having all sorts of fun clothes and dresses and
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: because I did pageants. I kept all the pageant clothes,
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: and so my closet looked like a dream and I
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: just assumed every I was like life is beautiful for everyone,
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: Like I can't this, you know, must be normal, but
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: also very observant and I would just listen in on
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: things my mom and yeah, I just was picking up stuff.
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: And my parents always thought I was like maybe a
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: little shy, but it was like, no, I'm like reading you.
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: Are you over analytical.
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: In what way?
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: Just like when you're observing? Are you constantly analyzing things
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: as you observe or you just looking and just I
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: guess moving forward kind of like okay, yeah, got it,
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: it's going.
• 27:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so tell us about your pa.
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: You said you did pageants a lot, and was you
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: were doing a lot of child modeling. How did you
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: and when did you start in your pageant career. That's
• 27:33
  Speaker 3: a pretty big deal, like the pageant world a whole
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: job in itself.
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it was pretty interesting. What I remember is I
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: was probably two and a half and my mom had
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: put me into pageants, and I think it was something
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: to keep us busy. And you know, if you were
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: asking my mom, she would say, you were just such
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: a beautiful baby, like she said. You know, people would
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: stop her, you know, out and about and they'd be like,
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: can I hold your baby? Like she's so whatever?
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: So is that whatever?
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: She She put me in pageants and I was winning
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: them all like I've got this great photo and I
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: like swept this photo of me with like trophies all
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: behind me. And so for whatever reason, you know, that
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: was like my thing. I did really well at it.
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: And uh yeah, I did pageants up until I was
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: probably six, because I was doing them in Utah. Then
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: we moved here. My dad got traded to the Clippers,
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: and yeah that was it.
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: You had no no once to do like the Miss
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: America's or USA.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: Oh right, no, no, no, So I didn't want to
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: do anything after that. I finished pageants and then that's
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: when I got signed to Ford Models in La.
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: Oh wow, that's a big deal.
• 29:02
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's huge.
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: I forgot about that part.
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: Oh oh, I just forgot I was signed, all right.
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: But yeah I got signed. Yeah, I was signed when
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: I was five and a half six and I would
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: get picked up from school early and I was making
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: one hundred dollars an hour, two hundred dollars an hour
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: in two thousand and five as a kid, so, you know,
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: it was a lot of fun doing that. By the
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: time I was fourteen, I started getting angsty and I
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: was like, I don't want a model, you know, I
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: was over it. And that's when I got really into
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: sports and soccer and volleyball.
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: So my volleyball sister, yeah, and she longed me. You
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: you you're not here so you can't see the high
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: My sister is six to two. Yeah, when yields, I
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: can see your leg great. Yeah, long and stunning.
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: So basically, you were an entrepreneur at the age of two,
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: two and six. You had your own beauty business via
• 30:14
  Speaker 3: pageantry and then being signed at four Models. So when
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: you look back again, it seems like you're just a
• 30:22
  Speaker 3: very mature child. It seems funny to say because you
• 30:25
  Speaker 3: were six, but you you know, move through pageantry because
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: it takes a lot of discipline and you know, just
• 30:34
  Speaker 3: it takes a lot to be a part of pageants
• 30:36
  Speaker 3: and then also being signed to a huge modeling company.
• 30:40
  Speaker 4: That's I mean, that's pretty good. That's that's pretty outstanding. Right.
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah. My mom said I was just very natural at it,
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: and I would walk on the stage and just like
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: smile and do my thing and walk off. And my
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: mom would say, if you wink at the crowd, I'll
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: get you ice crew or whatever. So I do a
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: little walk around the stage and like right, you're like
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: a little okay, that's actually my adult wink. But when
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: I was a kid, I got yeah. But yeah, I
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: mean that was a ton of fun. And like you said,
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: an entrepreneur, it's like since too. I truly have been
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: working my entire life and so yeah, it's been a lot.
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: And although it was so much fun and I got
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: super lucky, you know, being signed and stuff, I always
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: knew I don't know to a degree, like I carried
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: more resentment a little bit for my mom more than
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: I would have. Like the resentment was not for my
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: dad or his career or not being there. I think
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: my mom had it really easy, and so yeah, things
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: were just a little whatever.
• 32:05
  Speaker 4: So where do the come from?
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well you.
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: Said there it is that meant so the resentment comes from.
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: She put me in beauty pageants and then we did
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: forward and I was fine with it because I was
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: a kid. And then I realized where did all that
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: money go? Like you know, she said, I was in
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: a college account like and I felt years later, I'm like,
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: oh my god, she was like pimping me out, you know,
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: But I was like, maybe that's too extreme. But I
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: felt like it was so random because I didn't really
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: need to do those things, and she was like I
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: was being brought all over la and to this day
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: like my siblings. So maybe it's not resentment for my
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: mom like I think, honestly, sometimes my siblings resent me.
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: I spent a lot of time with my mom. They
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: were mostly with Nanny's. As much as my dad was gone,
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: I was gone too, I see.
• 33:07
  Speaker 4: Okay, okay, so your siblings.
• 33:09
  Speaker 3: That was actually my next question was your relationship with
• 33:12
  Speaker 3: your and uh, you know, you said you're second eldest,
• 33:16
  Speaker 3: so you're kind of it's kind of the middle.
• 33:18
  Speaker 4: There's four of you, right, yeah, so what is.
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: Your brother and what's the bottom two?
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so it's Nick is the eldest. Then it's me,
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: Chase and Gabby.
• 33:31
  Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, so what was your relationship like from your
• 33:39
  Speaker 3: point of view as far as being the big sister.
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I knew that I was the eldest sister to
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: my two younger siblings obviously, but my older brother was
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: so angry at the world and utter dad and defiant
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: that I almost viewed as like my younger brother. Okay,
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: there were a lot of things that I took over.
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: Or he'd be like, I don't want to fold the
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: laundry like you fold it, and I'm six, and I'm like,
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: my brother's gonna hate me if I don't do this,
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: like we won't be friends. And yeah, So that was that,
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: other than you know, the little things and spots he
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: would get into. We are like kind of bluetooth connected siblings. Okay,
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: we can hear someone in a room say something and
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: we have all like already thought the same thought.
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Sometimes we'd be like with friends and family, or
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: we're in public and people are like, g love each
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: other so much, and me'd be like, that's not true.
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: But closed doors, we're throwing shoes at each other's heads.
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: Well, we really did love each other. But I think
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: they were seeing the dynamic that were so playful and
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: you know, a little rowdy and maybe even a little
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: like uh like ragging on each other. But you know,
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: it's it's visible when you love your siblings and even
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: though you're fighting, maybe like in front of friends, I
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: think anyone with siblings knows that. It's like only I
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: can say that about my sister.
• 35:20
  Speaker 4: Only I can absolute. So we were it was.
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: All very protective.
• 35:27
  Speaker 3: I love that because, yeah, you can say what you
• 35:29
  Speaker 3: want or I can say I can say it's something,
• 35:32
  Speaker 3: but you can't say.
• 35:33
  Speaker 4: Anything about her because we don't throw hands.
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, yeah, but it was a good one. I mean,
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: I'm pretty lucky. I've I'm one of four, like not
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: a lot of people. I remember in school people would say,
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: you have four siblings. I was like, that doesn't seem
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: like a lot. But back in the day, I guess
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: that was, you know, a lot. And so I was like, yeah,
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: you know, I think a lot of my siblings, or
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: as a group we are so used to having grown
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: up with each other, are built in friends. Yeah, like
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: nice that all of us. We only have like one
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: or two very close compadres that were like, you're if
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: you're brought in and you're in my life, you're my
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: best friend. You're like basically a Polony's sibling. And I
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: think our friends appreciated it too, because once we like
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: crack a joke at them or whatever when we were
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: in our teen years they knew like I'm in so
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: I'm yeah, we made it.
• 36:41
  Speaker 3: Well, that makes sense because I travel so much, So
• 36:43
  Speaker 3: you guys had me and my first friends were my my,
• 36:49
  Speaker 3: my siblings, and my cousins, So I get it.
• 36:51
  Speaker 4: It's you know, those are.
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: The people's Yeah. Also, I'll say we had no family,
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: so like regarding cousins we had. All of our cousins
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: were in Oakland or Haiti, and my mom was estrange
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: from both of her parents, and my dad's parents were
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: around and alive, but because of family drama, we didn't
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: see them. Our mom didn't want us to see them
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: or spend time with them.
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: So well, and the lifestyle doesn't help either. Just being
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: part of the sports industry, it takes you away from
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: family and friends naturally because you're bouncing so often.
• 37:30
  Speaker 5: So that contributed to that as well.
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: I'm sure, Yeah, I bounced around the most.
• 37:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm.
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: Well.
• 37:38
  Speaker 3: I was gonna say, even like with Mariah and I
• 37:40
  Speaker 3: growing up, like Mariah lived, I lived in Indiana and so
• 37:43
  Speaker 3: back in those days, fine, you know that wasn't really
• 37:46
  Speaker 3: affordable like that, So I only saw Mariah a few
• 37:50
  Speaker 3: times when they were in because we had used to
• 37:53
  Speaker 3: have to ride the bus, so presens that distance with
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: them being away it you know, we didn't get to
• 38:00
  Speaker 3: see each other all the time, and so your sister
• 38:03
  Speaker 3: all the time. So whenever we went, when we had
• 38:05
  Speaker 3: to leave, it was it was.
• 38:07
  Speaker 4: It was heartbreaking.
• 38:08
  Speaker 3: They would cry and then we would cry because you know,
• 38:11
  Speaker 3: our moms were crying.
• 38:12
  Speaker 4: So it was just it was even from that perspective.
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: So yeah, the art, Yeah, I mean for me, it
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: was less. I mean, there wasn't. It wasn't even about
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: distance her family, like our mom was. You know, she
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: was a single parent raising four kids, and so we
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: were home a lot. She didn't want to deal with
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: having one son somewhere and like the daughters are off,
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: like who's going to be at so and so's house?
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: And it was too much for her to manage all
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: of the logistics of four children. Yeah, so the nose
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: came more often than the esses for most things.
• 38:56
  Speaker 3: So looking back, what do you think younger Alexis needed the.
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: Most different parents. I'm kidding, like, now we're now Alexis,
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: I'm using, what have they did? No? I say that
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: in a joking way, because I really I remember being
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: so connected to my nannies and having such a blast
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: with them, and they would leave and I'm like, my
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: person's leaving.
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: So who's your favorite nanny? Tell us a nanny story. Yeah,
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: your favorite memory with a nanny.
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: We had, I think we had two. We had three
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: nannies actually growing up that these were our nannies in
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: Utah and it was on Aco. She was from Hungary
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: or I guess back then they would have been o pairs,
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: so it wasn't really nanny and because they were literally
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: flying over so different in the two thousands. But we
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: had Onco from Hungary. We had Cora from the Philippines,
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: and then we had Umi from Japan and she like
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: taught us how to count Japanese and like, for whatever reason,
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: when I first started talking my like, you know, side language,
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: gibber jabber, like I was understanding and speaking like Hungarian. Wow,
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: the toddler Hungarian like with my nanny because he spent a.
• 40:25
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: But I just remember like there were there were other
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: women in the house. We had so much fun. And
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: also at the time it was only me and my
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: older brother, but we actually still had those nannies up
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: until we were like sixteen, and weirdly enough, like our
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: nanny ended up being like Tyson Chandler's nanny and we
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: were like in the same neighborhood and we're like, yeah,
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: but you know, it's just weird that like are not weird,
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: but just so crazy that like I had this person
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: as nanny. They go off and there they were still
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: all in Calabasas, like from Utah to Calabasas, right, And
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: my nanny from when I was maybe a teenager, they're
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: called Barbie and Fabi from Brazil and their names were
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: Barbie and so Barbara, Barbie, Okay, Barbie, and then Fabi
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: and Fabi Barbie, Barbara and Fabiola and Fabiola Okay, so cute. Yeah,
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: we had Barbie and Fabbi and they were great. And
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: then like Barbie ended up going and working for a
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: family I worked for, like we were working as nanny
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: is in the same community, and you know, it's just
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: they had such a big impact on my life in
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: a way that I didn't think that I would get
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: from my parents. I kind of even at a young age,
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: was like my dad's always gone, my mom's there, but
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: she's like she wasn't really like a deep mom. Okay,
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: she was in maybe she was a young mom, super young,
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: but there were things about her that I remember, like
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: spending time with her and walking out of a room.
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: And the only way that I can think of that
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: through like adult eyes now is being like like disinterested bored. Yeah,
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: my mom was isn't super inquisitive, And so a lot
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: of my childhood was spent just like kind of daydreaming
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: and you.
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: Know about what.
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: Honestly kind of just like fantasy stuff, but always the future. Always.
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: I remember being a kid and like six years old
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: and thinking like I'm just like counting on the minutes
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: until I find my husband. And I'm six, so it's
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: like I'm thinking way too far ahead. But it wasn't
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: like I needed a husband. I needed more connection, may
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: connection and stimulation anything than what I was getting. And
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: maybe I didn't recognize that as a child, but yeah,
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: I just remember being very bored and thinking like there's
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: got to be I mean, I assumed that you could
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: just get a new family sometimes and so I'd be
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: with my parents and I'm like, who are these people,
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: Like we're just I just don't you know, a very
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: strange connection.
• 43:43
  Speaker 5: So okay, and.
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: That was only it was just me as a child
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: like that. That's not how I feel now. It was
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: like I just was very just a different child.
• 43:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, right ahead, back when about the nannies is like,
• 43:58
  Speaker 3: what is one thing that their relationship with you has
• 44:02
  Speaker 3: taught you?
• 44:02
  Speaker 4: Now?
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: That you can be like innundated with love, you know,
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: if you have the right people around you. And so
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: I will say that we're super lucky that we had
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: these great nannies.
• 44:21
  Speaker 4: Wow.
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: And they took great care of us. But I love
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: the love that they gave me. And I remember thinking like, well,
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: if I can't be a mom and I don't have
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: my nannies anymore, like what's the second best thing? Yeah,
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: and so I became a nanny.
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: And I just remember I literally was like I loved
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: my nanny so much. I can only imagine what life
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: would be like if another child like loved me. And
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: over the years, it's been like very Mary Poppins for me,
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: Like I go into a family and I leave and
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: there's like her break, but that's sort of the name
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: of the game, is like that's like kind of what
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: we went through. And I was devastated when some of
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: our nannies left, But you know, there was obviously a
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: massive takeaway from them because I built an entire career
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: off of their love.
• 45:20
  Speaker 2: Well before weeks. I want to pause and play a
• 45:23
  Speaker 2: game before we dive into your career as a nanny.
• 45:27
  Speaker 2: But before we do that, if you want to look
• 45:29
  Speaker 2: into the camera and just say one thing to your nannies,
• 45:33
  Speaker 2: because it seems like they've had such a huge impact
• 45:35
  Speaker 2: on you. If you want to say anything to your nannies,
• 45:39
  Speaker 2: I'm assuming that they will watch this once it airs.
• 45:43
  Speaker 2: What do you want to say to them?
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: I would say, Hi, Onico, thank you so much for everything.
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: I love you so much. I remember thinking that I
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: was Hungarian with blonde hair and blue eyes because I
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: was looking at you all day every day, and I thought,
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: you're so beautiful. So thank you for everything that you
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: brought to my life. The majority of my early days
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: are so joyful because of the fact that I was
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: able to have a really wonderful, kind, genuine woman that
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: was around me, and in a lot of ways, you
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: were there for me maternally. And you were very young too.
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: You were a very young nanny, and so to be
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: twenty two and to have loved us the way that
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: you did is really special and obviously we could never
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: forget you. We still talk about you all the time,
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: and you're more than family to us. And Hi, Cora,
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: I love you and I miss you so much. If
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: it wasn't for you in our home and the softness
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: and gentle, calm nature that you brought in, we would
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: be a very different family. And I think that you
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: were this person who was able to stabilize our house
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: in so many ways, and you were like a third
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: party when arguments were going crazy and I'm looking at
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: my parents like why is this happening. You came into
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: the room, you pulled us out, and you loved us.
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: And so for that, I'm so grateful, especially grateful that
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: I got to spend such a majority of my life
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: in a way that my younger siblings didn't.
• 47:36
  Speaker 2: So I love you, so beautiful, so beautiful shot.
• 47:43
  Speaker 4: It's wonderful.
• 47:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So now let's transition back into what makes you
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: so happy care giving to other kids. So what is
• 47:57
  Speaker 2: it about caring for children that speaks to.
• 48:01
  Speaker 4: You now.
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: To this day. It's the love of children, and that's
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: where it starts. Like when I meet a family, it's
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: super personal. I always say that nanning is like a
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: lot like dating because you have to sort of connect
• 48:19
  Speaker 1: with that family because you're going to be in their
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: daily life for so long. But I knew that what
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: I did for my siblings, like doing laundry and cooking,
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: I didn't realize until I started nannying, like, oh, you
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: can get paid for this, right, So I was like,
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: I'm going to take everything that I already know how
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: to do, plus the fact that I love babies, put
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: it together and do that. And to this day, it's
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: just a joy being with so many different families, so
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: many kids throughout time. It's rather not throughout time, but
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: as the years go by, you know, you leave a
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: family and you leave when they're eleven, and suddenly they're
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: eighteen and in college, and like, I have only gone
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: from twenty one to twenty eight, so I've had like
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: my adult journey, but they went from children to adults,
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: and so it's super different but also so exciting. Yeah,
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: you know, I to this day I follow my nanny
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: on Instagram, my nanny Barbie, the Brazilian one. She just
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: had a baby, and so I like knowing that I
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: can stay connected to them. You know.
• 49:37
  Speaker 5: So how did you get started?
• 49:38
  Speaker 2: Who was your first kid that you were nanny?
• 49:43
  Speaker 5: Do you remember.
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: I started with this little girl named Summer and her
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: mom would drop her off at our house and we
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: were living in Calabasas, and you know, we had a
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: sizeable home and it was in a safe neighborhood and
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: she was like a friend of my mom's. But at
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: this time, it would have just been like my first job.
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: And then a couple more kids came over and it
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: was like a little like summer camp day camping, and
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: I was like fourteen, right watching kids and making lunches
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: for them. But so cool. That's how it started. And
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: you know, I put flyers around the neighborhood with like
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: the little tags with your number, and you like rip off,
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: you tear the tag off.
• 50:29
  Speaker 2: So you created your own flyers to just post around.
• 50:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I like still have it in my like Google
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: docs if I wanted to pull it up. It's like
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: so funny. Yeah, little things like.
• 50:39
  Speaker 2: That, But that's a testament to your ambition and that's incredible.
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: I was super into it. Yeah. Yeah. And then once
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: I stopped doing like, you know, the the little Summer
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: business and I was in school, I just started working
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: for a bunch of different families, you know, like everyone,
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: and we were all in the same gated community things
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: like that, and then I was playing sports throughout high school.
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: By the time I was seventeen and eighteen, that's when
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: I wanted to make the transition to being a full
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: time career nanny, like really going for it. And I
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: also knew I need ten years of experience. Like by
• 51:22
  Speaker 1: the time I'm twenty six, I'm already going to need
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: the ten years. I don't want to graduate college. Oh,
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: twenty two, twenty three, start being a nanny, okay, and
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: I have one year two years under my belt. So
• 51:35
  Speaker 1: I started then, and I would like, I had a
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: school schedule that allowed me to leave last period, and
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: I would start nannying from like noon or one pm
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: and go into like eight o'clock and get paid cash,
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: and you know, I could just go and do my
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: own thing. I was out of the house, you know,
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: I was working and wow, building this resume. And then
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: when I was seventeen, my first real client, funny enough,
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: were Julian Paul Pierce, total random, like someone that I
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: was nannying for. We all went to, you know, just
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: a party of Julie would do these. She's so sweet
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: and funny.
• 52:21
  Speaker 5: She's so sweet.
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: She's the best. So Paul.
• 52:23
  Speaker 5: I don't know if you just added in this conversation.
• 52:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, my dad coached Paul when we were all in
• 52:30
  Speaker 2: LA for the Clippers.
• 52:31
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.
• 52:32
  Speaker 5: Yeah, we met Julie and the kids.
• 52:34
  Speaker 1: So the kids are great too, And yeah, they gave
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: me a referral. And I remember, uh, like Julie would
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: do these things. I'm like, whose birthday is it like,
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: because there was a huge party going on in her backyard.
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: She's like, it's Thursday. Like, oh, it's just a Thursday.
• 52:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: I was like, this is amazing. So yeah, we went
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: over there and they were so sweet, and I I
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: got the the vibe of like, you know, NBA essence
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: in the home. Right. I didn't know who her husband was.
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: I hadn't. I hadn't seen him come from around the
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: corner yet.
• 53:11
  Speaker 5: But she knew he played in the NBA.
• 53:12
  Speaker 1: I didn't know anything. So he had just gone to
• 53:15
  Speaker 1: the party. I had only met Julie because Paul was
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: wherever in the house, you know. So and we went
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: straight to the backyard, so I wasn't like dawdling in
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: their house looking at photos. And then I one of
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: the moms says like, oh yeah, Julie's has been played basketball.
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: He walked through the house and I'm just like passing him,
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: and I was like, Hi, Like my name's Sexy Polonies
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: and like my dad played basketball too, and like Hi,
• 53:43
  Speaker 1: like I'm just standing here, and like that's it. That's
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: all I wanted to say, is that I'm not this
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: stranger in your home, and like I think you know
• 53:51
  Speaker 1: my dad to some degree. But yeah, yeah, and I
• 53:55
  Speaker 1: left it at that, and then I started working for
• 53:56
  Speaker 1: them a little more. I skipped prom so I could
• 53:59
  Speaker 1: nanny for them because I was like, I want this
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: so badly. I'll take any name on my resume. I'll
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: and it's a good one to have off bat.
• 54:08
  Speaker 2: So, yeah, what's one thing people misunderstand about nannying And
• 54:17
  Speaker 2: what is some of the challenges that you faced? If
• 54:24
  Speaker 2: there's any, there may not be any.
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there have been all sorts of challenges. I mean
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: I've I've done a lot of very different things, sometimes
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: their niche I've taken a Pomeranian with alopecia to do
• 54:41
  Speaker 1: like hair growth right, and like you know, these sort
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: of odd jobs in between, and like you know, I
• 54:51
  Speaker 1: worked for a family who had five kids and thirty.
• 54:53
  Speaker 2: Pets, five kids and thirty pets, toy, are you responsible.
• 54:59
  Speaker 5: For the livelihood of the pets too or.
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: Just the children? Everyone at the state and the home?
• 55:06
  Speaker 4: Okay, do you do you live with?
• 55:09
  Speaker 3: I was gonna ask you live at the home or
• 55:11
  Speaker 3: you go home at night when you like?
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: I would ever be a live in nanny because it's
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: so it can become very convoluted. So I always do
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: live out. But okay, yeah, twelve hour days, so you
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: basically live there. M Yeah.
• 55:28
  Speaker 5: Okay.
• 55:29
  Speaker 2: So now that you are in a position to give
• 55:33
  Speaker 2: kids something that you didn't have and you're able to
• 55:36
  Speaker 2: have an insight look into how other families operate, is
• 55:39
  Speaker 2: there anything that you've learned about other family dynamics now
• 55:44
  Speaker 2: that you are, I guess immersed in other people's families.
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I've seen really great shows of dads.
• 55:57
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: I've also seen people who have one billion dollars and
• 56:05
  Speaker 1: they are nowhere to be found in their kids' lives.
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: It's like, you don't have you don't have to work
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: ever again, right that kind of person? Where are you? So?
• 56:16
  Speaker 1: I kind of would see these families and I'm like, oh,
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: it's kind of simple to like be home every night,
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: like at six pm or at least maybe not simple,
• 56:24
  Speaker 1: but you make that choice, like you make it for
• 56:28
  Speaker 1: your family, and you know, different different dynamics and stories entirely.
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: So I can't hold you know, I can't hold other
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: people that I've worked for to the standard of my parents.
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: But I've seen how much parents have poured into their
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: kids emotionally, they would treat their children like their own
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: people instead of just an extension of themselves. And so yeah,
• 56:57
  Speaker 1: I mean, I've there's so much to see. Every single
• 57:02
  Speaker 1: day is different, the seasons of life that will happen
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: and change with each family. The person you meet on
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: the first day is not the person you meet or
• 57:14
  Speaker 1: that you know on your last day of work.
• 57:15
  Speaker 2: Like you really talking about the parent or the child both, Okay.
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, So you know, I've I learn a
• 57:22
  Speaker 1: lot about the reality of relationships with the parents. Sometimes
• 57:29
  Speaker 1: they are not on the same page, uh married, happy,
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: but like their morals and values are are different, and
• 57:38
  Speaker 1: I learn a lot about that too, Like you can
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: have the gewagon in the driveway and it's like you
• 57:44
  Speaker 1: you're not super kind in the way that you speak
• 57:46
  Speaker 1: to your wife, or like you know, you're not they're
• 57:50
  Speaker 1: just operating in a different way. It seems backwards. But yeah,
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: I mean there is a woman who you know talking
• 57:59
  Speaker 1: about challenge is. I was a nanny for a thirteen
• 58:03
  Speaker 1: year old girl and her mom had terminal cancer. Okay,
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: for she was sick for thirteen years, and she was
• 58:15
  Speaker 1: fine on a Tuesday in the hospital on a Wednesday.
• 58:19
  Speaker 1: Wow brought home for hospice on Thursday and passed away
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: Saturday at two am. So like I had just stood
• 58:31
  Speaker 1: next to her and was like coloring her hair for
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: her on a Tuesday, and she was just working and
• 58:36
  Speaker 1: doing her thing, and suddenly like she can't speak. And
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: this person that we knew is like gone. And so
• 58:44
  Speaker 1: when I got into this industry, I always thought, we're
• 58:47
  Speaker 1: gonna go kick a soccer ball outside. I get to
• 58:49
  Speaker 1: make girl cheeses and we watch movies and it's so
• 58:53
  Speaker 1: cute and fun. I love being a nanny. Then it's like,
• 58:57
  Speaker 1: oh my god, this person is not coming back. They're gone.
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: I was her nanny, but I was also her assistant,
• 59:07
  Speaker 1: So I spent like six hours a day with her,
• 59:10
  Speaker 1: and yeah, I was the only person who was with
• 59:13
  Speaker 1: her for like the majority of the day for three years.
• 59:18
  Speaker 1: And so once she was gone, it was like like
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: nothing I've ever felt, you know.
• 59:24
  Speaker 2: And so I since like losing it was child, you know,
• 59:29
  Speaker 2: And I guess not exactly, but in a sense.
• 59:32
  Speaker 1: You're I felt like I was losing like a mother, Okay.
• 59:36
  Speaker 1: And thinking about that, it's interesting because I think that
• 59:43
  Speaker 1: I really valued Lindsay and I value her and cared
• 59:48
  Speaker 1: about her for a lot of different things, and I
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: think one of them was that she was super ambitious,
• 59:55
  Speaker 1: and so I viewed her as a very like matriarch,
• 59:58
  Speaker 1: maternal and I think about my own mom.
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 5: Oh this was the mother. I'm thinking, you're talking about
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 5: the child.
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 1: The child? So I was it was her mother? Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay,
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 1: so she was. She We were just very close, and
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 1: Lindsay was very calm, cool, sort of nonchalant, maybe a
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 1: little bit of a nice princess okay, originally from La
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: like Beverly Hills, Jewish La Girl and super Taptain, and
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 1: she just knew what she wanted and so that inspired me.
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 1: I was very drawn to her because of that, and
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 1: I wanted to do well. I wanted to do right
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 1: by her for many reasons, not because she was sick,
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 1: or anything. But I was like, she's so cool, she's
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 1: so sweet. Like I knew that she was sick, and
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: that time was super valuable in their house. So I
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 1: literally did anything that I could to stay around, stay
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: present because I knew that if I went to Miami
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 1: for a weekend, who knew what would happen, you know,
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 1: she could be gone and see so and maybe that
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 1: wasn't the case, but I was so paranoid and scared
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 1: that I was like, if I'm not actively here, like
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 1: doing my job to the best of my ability, I
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 1: could she could maybe, you know. I really thought that
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 1: if I didn't get her the meals on time, like
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 1: I would be the cause of her to have this demise,
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 1: you know. And so I was so panicked, so particular
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 1: about things, and yeah, it's something that I would have
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 1: never expected to even happen while I was working there,
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 1: because I, like I knew she was sick, her daughter
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 1: didn't know. It was not disclosed to her daughter until
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 1: eight months before she had passed away, And so there
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 1: was this confidentiality that I had to sit with. And
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 1: Mom would go to like doctor's appointments and tell her
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 1: daughter that she was in meetings and Violet. Her daughter
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 1: was the light of her life. It meant the world
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 1: to her, like anything for her, and everyone knew that,
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 1: like everyone knew that. It doesn't matter that the business
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 1: that Lindsay owns, the home she's in, the only thing
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 1: she cares about is Violet, her only child.
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 2: Do you have a relationship with Violet still?
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 5: I don't, Okay, I don't know.
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 3: I was going to ask if you kept hitting her
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 3: at what.
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 4: Did you stay?
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 1: In? Many ways? I you know, my friends and family
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 1: will say like you are like a mom to her
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: because I spent so much time with her, and I'm like,
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 1: it was nothing like Lindsay. I don't compare. I'm not
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 1: adjacent kind of mom. I'm not like, I'm just me.
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 1: I was just her nanny. I spent a lot of
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 1: time with her. But the love that came from her
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 1: mom is like not from this world. And she knew
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 1: that she was running out of time. So okay, but uh.
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 2: So, what does that taught to you about life? That
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 2: experience being more present?
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 3: Is it?
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah? I'm yeah, definitely more present. I was, honestly back then,
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 1: I was pretty young still and interesting enough. I actually
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 1: that Monday before she had passed away. I quit. I
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 1: texted Dad and I was like, I can't do this anymore. Oh,
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 1: you quit working for for this family. Yeah. And I
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 1: didn't know it was gonna happen. And so what was
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 1: your original question, Well, just.
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 2: Her experience and you going through this transition with her
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 2: from Monday she's here and Thursday she's not. What that
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 2: taught you about how life works.
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 1: In gyt Yeah, so I knew that there was no
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 1: way around it, like as it's happening in real time. Yeah,
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 1: And it was very scary because we went to the
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 1: hospital and you know, we were there and you know,
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 1: things happened very fast. And it's like you think that
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 1: when someone dies it's like like in the movies. It's
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 1: not like that. It's really quite awful because it's you know,
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 1: you start to lose the essence of who they are,
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 1: and by the end of their life, you can look
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 1: at someone and you know, I would say high lindsay yeah,
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 1: and she looked at me, she'd know clue who I was.
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 1: And this is someone I spent every single day with
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 1: for three years. Yeah, I didn't know who I was. So,
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 1: I mean it really made me not grow up super fast.
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 1: But I realized, like, man, all the times I like
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 1: complained back then, I would have done like anything to
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 1: go back. Yeah, But at the same time, like it
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 1: wasn't always that great at that job. You know, I
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: would get yelled at for little, you know, tiny things
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 1: like sometimes the dad was really just kind of like
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 1: loose with his words, you know, just not super.
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 4: Not mindful diplomatic.
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 2: So is this what you want to do five years,
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 2: ten years from now? So where do you see yourself
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 2: going with your your position in nanny.
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 5: Down the road?
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 1: I definitely see myself going all the way. I mean,
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 1: I'm happy that I started at eighteen because then I
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 1: knew I could do nannying until I was twenty eight,
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 1: which is where I'm at now, and I've got all
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 1: this childcare experience and background. It's pretty specific but also
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 1: simple to make a transition in like domestic staffing, you
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 1: really learn a lot of You just learned so much
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 1: about the internal movements of someone's home, about who they are,
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 1: and yeah, so you know, I've learned so much that
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 1: I'm like, it's a little I've outgrown nannying, you know,
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 1: I don't want to just be with kids anymore. So
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 1: where I see myself in the future as doing estate management,
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 1: doing personal assistant work. But because I always will have
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 1: a immense love in my heart for like the babies
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 1: and nannying. My thing has always been if it's not
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 1: going to be me, it should be someone else that's
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 1: not you know, taking care of the baby. So I
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 1: was starting like a little app company, you know, for
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 1: young girls, basically my age, in the age of when
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 1: I started to.
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 2: To break into the industry into very good okay.
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 1: Also that's how I'm able to stay connected and because
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 1: I have so much like in my brain that it's
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 1: like I don't want to be like a recruiter or
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 1: an agency. I just want to be the person that
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 1: I wish I had when I was fourteen, yeah, and fifteen,
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 1: like knowing how to speak, you know, up for yourself,
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 1: knowing like oh, they're actually short five dollars and not
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 1: only are you not allowed to be short, but like
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 1: I need a tip, right, And it's like there's sort
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 1: of an etiquette and I guess, you know, the tipping
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 1: system is more for babysitting, but when you're a nanny
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 1: and you're in someone's home, oftentimes you'll start off as
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 1: a nanny and that job description grows and grows and
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 1: grows until you are the gardener and chauffeuring and everything else.
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 1: And so yeah, I mean a lot of the nanny
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 1: and you have to sort of tread lightly. And when
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 1: you're in that industry, I want girls to know you're
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 1: not just a nanny or like the help, You're one
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 1: of the most valuable assets in the family.
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 4: I'm like, true, yeah, true.
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 2: I will say this. Before I became a mom, I've
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 2: respected I've always respected the work of a nanny and
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 2: a caregiver. But now that I am a mom, I
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 2: have a deeper understanding to how important that role is.
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 2: And it's not just about helping. It's about trust. It's
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 2: about alignment. It's about having someone else's energy in your
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 2: home and around your child. And when you're able to
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 2: find somebody who perfectly aligns with not just the child
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 2: but the parent as well, oh my gosh, that's everything.
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 2: So bravo to you. I again, that's it's a tough
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 2: it's a tough position to be in and you have
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 2: to you have to put on so many different hats.
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 2: But just know that, girl, now that I am a mom,
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 2: I fully respect what you do.
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 1: Oftentimes when I'm working, I think, oh my god, I'm
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 1: making you know, six plus figures or you know, women
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 1: in this industry are moms should be getting a little
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 1: check for ten k from the husbands. That's maybe not
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 1: a month, but you know, like moms are not getting compensated.
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 1: Like a lot of what I do is the job
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 1: of a mom, but I get to leave at the
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 1: end of the night. And so there's a lot that
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 1: I noticed that from a nanny perspective that at times
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 1: moms are responsible for and it is a thankless job.
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 1: Sometimes as a nanny, depending on the family that you're with,
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 1: it can just be you do your work, you do
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 1: it well, and you go home wow. And I've worked
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 1: with people like that, and I've worked with neurotic people
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 1: and fun exciting. So you just never know what you're
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 1: going to get.
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 3: Very if someone were to want to get into the
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 3: nanny industry, what are some tips or a few things
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 3: that you would them do before.
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 1: So my advice to anyone who wants to start in
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 1: the nanning industry would be to call up your mom's
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 1: friends who have kids. Sometimes you can call and say,
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 1: like I I'll watch your dog for the weekend. You know,
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 1: it's just growing like that caretaking background. Yeah yeah, show up,
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 1: do a great job, and I would say, go for it.
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 1: It's a really this industry was it's nothing like it's
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 1: ever been in history. And my dad used to say,
• 1:11:17
  Speaker 1: pick a job that if the world ended, you could
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 1: still work.
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 5: Love that advice.
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 1: And when COVID happened and it was the world adjacent,
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 1: I worked the entire time. Wow, like the most money
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 1: I'd ever made. And so yeah, I don't know. Sometimes
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 1: it's just like a really interesting special job. You never
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 1: know it's going to happen. I chose something that is,
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 1: you know, going to keep me locked in. And people
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 1: are going to have kids forever, yes, right, And since
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 1: the beginning of time, kings and queens and royalty all
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 1: had help, you know, they had ladies in waiting and
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 1: everything else. So it's not unmon to have help in
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 1: a home. But especially for young girls, now it's you
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 1: don't have to really, I mean you don't. I won't
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 1: say you don't have to go to college, because I
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 1: do encourage people go and learn and get different perspectives.
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 1: But I will say that you can make a wonderful living.
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 1: And it's it's pretty simple, like you can you can
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 1: make as much as doctors sometimes, and you're twenty two
• 1:12:33
  Speaker 1: years old. So any girl, who I think, any girl
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 1: who wants to like be a nanny, they kind of
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 1: already know. They get down and then you know, just
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 1: jump right into it. You have like any inkling, that
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 1: not any inkling. I don't know, I don't know how
• 1:12:54
  Speaker 1: to describe it.
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 2: No, you described it beautifully. Okay, that was perfect. Yeah,
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 2: that was persolutely Yeah.
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 3: So if you could say anything to your dad or mom,
• 1:13:06
  Speaker 3: what would you say to them?
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 1: Hi Ema, hi Alba, you guys are the best I know.
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 1: I have a big mouth, and I know that I
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 1: have ripped you guys down a million times before, and
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 1: whether it was because I was young or immature, the
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 1: voice of sixteen year old me only knew so much.
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 1: And at twenty eight years old, I have a much
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 1: better understanding of the sacrifices that it took to for
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 1: the dad to even get to this country. And you
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 1: guys did sacrifice a lot. You were super young, and
• 1:13:50
  Speaker 1: you guys did a great job. And I wouldn't be
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 1: me if it wasn't for you guys. Dad. You've told
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 1: me so much about the importance of education and giving
• 1:14:03
  Speaker 1: everything your all, and Mom, I looked up to you
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 1: for everything. Your business savvy and even when you could
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 1: have been a housewife, you always chose to work, whether
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 1: it was retail, business, consulting. You kind of just figured
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 1: it out. So I wouldn't be doing the work that
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 1: I do if it wasn't for you. So I love you. Guys.
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we did it.
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 2: How do you feel now that you got this episode
• 1:14:40
  Speaker 2: underneath your belt?
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 5: You did it, you sat on the couch.
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 1: How does it feel therapeutic? Yeah? For sure, very good?
• 1:14:47
  Speaker 1: Absolutely good.
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 2: No, that was a great episode. That was great. Yeah,
• 1:14:51
  Speaker 2: you did a great job. Thank you for excited just
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 2: sharing your story with us. And again, I believe your
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 2: story in particular is going to resonate with others. I
• 1:15:02
  Speaker 2: already know it, So thank you. Great job, tea great
• 1:15:08
  Speaker 2: tuning in with us, T T virtually Thanks time. Next time,
• 1:15:14
  Speaker 2: y'all see her. She's gonna be a whole wife, and
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 2: she's gonna be a wife. Yeat here right right, I'm
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 2: gonna be a wife in the chair.
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 1: In the chair.
• 1:15:21
  Speaker 2: She's gonna be back next time, y'all excited? Absolutely yes,
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 2: So I'm gonna close us out. Thank you guys for
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 2: tuning in to today's episode of Born's Game.
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 3: I'm your host Mariah and I'm Tamara.
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 2: And we'll see you next time. On board to the game,
• 1:15:37
  Speaker 2: make sure to like, follow, subscribe, Share it with your
• 1:15:40
  Speaker 2: mama and NAM, Tell your mamma and MS tell your
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 2: mama name.
• 1:15:45
  Speaker 5: Bye Bye,