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Andy Stanley - Leading Through Part 4 Leading With Empathy · Andy Stanley Sermons

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  Speaker 1: Today, we're wrapping up our four part series entitled Leading Through,
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  Speaker 1: and the subtitle is three Essentials. Three essentials for navigating uncertainty.
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  Speaker 1: As you are painfully aware and actually don't need to
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  Speaker 1: be reminded of, this season has been challenging for all
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  Speaker 1: of us. It's been brutal for some of us financially, socially, relationally. Consequently,
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  Speaker 1: we're all picking up the pieces and we're moving forward
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  Speaker 1: the best we can. But many of us are actually
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  Speaker 1: not simply navigating ourselves through this difficult time. We're responsible
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  Speaker 1: for helping other folks move forward as well. Right, family members, employees,
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  Speaker 1: team members, students, perhaps your entire community. So if you're
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  Speaker 1: a parent, a manager and executive of any type, a teacher,
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  Speaker 1: a city or state official, people are looking to you,
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  Speaker 1: and they're looking to me for direction, for inspiration, and
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  Speaker 1: ultimately for hope. And you know this. While leading under
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  Speaker 1: normal circumstances is tough enough, I mean, leading people through
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  Speaker 1: what we're experiencing right now. Well, as my friend Charlie
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  Speaker 1: Rinthrow is fond of saying, this is not a casual endeavor.
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  Speaker 1: And be honest, nobody prepared us for this, right, I mean,
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  Speaker 1: how do you prepare for a pandemic combined with an
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  Speaker 1: economic shutdown that's left us teetering on economic meltdown while
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  Speaker 1: navigating social unrest during an election year. I don't know
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  Speaker 1: about you, but well, this is my first time, and
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  Speaker 1: I can't focus on simply getting me through this, because
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  Speaker 1: I'm responsible for getting the mes around me through this
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  Speaker 1: as well. I'm responsible for leading my family through this,
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  Speaker 1: our five hundred plus staff members through this, and I
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  Speaker 1: feel responsible to some extent for leading many of you
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  Speaker 1: through this as well. And perhaps you can relate. There
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  Speaker 1: aren't any maps, there aren't any instructions. We're making this
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  Speaker 1: up as we go along, and this is the tension
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  Speaker 1: that every single leader lives with, every father who's lost
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  Speaker 1: his job, every mother who finds herself parenting a lie,
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  Speaker 1: every small business owner trying to stay afloat, every manager,
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  Speaker 1: and maybe this is you who senses all eyes on
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  Speaker 1: him or her when she walks through the door or
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  Speaker 1: when she logs onto zoom. We don't have all the answers.
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  Speaker 1: We don't always know what to do. And while much
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  Speaker 1: of this feels new, there's something that's actually not so
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  Speaker 1: new about it, and that's uncertainty. Because Uncertainty is a
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  Speaker 1: permanent part of life, and to the point of our series, uncertainty.
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  Speaker 1: Uncertainty is why the world needs leaders, and it's why
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  Speaker 1: the world needs leadership. It's why your family, it's why
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  Speaker 1: your company, it's why your city, it's why your state
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  Speaker 1: needs you. So we're discussing three essentials for leading through
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  Speaker 1: disruption and uncertainty. And while these facets of leadership are
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  Speaker 1: always important, in times like these they are more important
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  Speaker 1: than ever. So if you haven't been with us, a
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  Speaker 1: quick review. The first of our three was moral authority.
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  Speaker 1: To lead through times of disruption and uncertainty, we have
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  Speaker 1: to maintain our moral authority. There must be alignment between
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  Speaker 1: what we say and what we do, what we expect
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  Speaker 1: of others, and what we expect of ourselves. Moral authority
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  Speaker 1: is the credibility we earn by walking our talk, and
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  Speaker 1: moral authority creates credibility, and credibility creates influence and, come on,
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  Speaker 1: in times of uncertainty, influence is everything. The second non
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  Speaker 1: negotiable we talked about last time is clarity. Clarity you
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  Speaker 1: can be uncertain, but as a leader, you cannot afford
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  Speaker 1: to be unclear. In fact, our mandate as leaders and
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  Speaker 1: as parents, is to be clear even when we're not certain.
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  Speaker 1: And here's why I say that clarity is actually perceived
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  Speaker 1: and experienced as leadership in times of disruption, clarity is
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  Speaker 1: the next best thing to certainty. So mom, dad, manager,
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  Speaker 1: mayor teacher, be clear even when you're not certain, which
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  Speaker 1: is pretty much most of the time, right. And that
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  Speaker 1: brings us to our third non negotiable for leading through
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  Speaker 1: difficult times. You must display your humanity. You must display
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  Speaker 1: your humanity. You have to be human. We have to
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  Speaker 1: be vulnerable, we have to be transparent, we have to
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  Speaker 1: be real, exercise our empathy muscle. The people who are
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  Speaker 1: looking to you need to experience your humanity. And here's why.
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  Speaker 1: When I'm convinced, when I'm convinced that you know how
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  Speaker 1: I feel, I will be far more open to your influence.
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  Speaker 1: When I'm convinced, when I'm convinced that you know how
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  Speaker 1: I feel, I'm going to be far more open to
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  Speaker 1: your influence. Even when, in fact, especially when you're asking
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  Speaker 1: me to follow you into the unknown. I mean, when
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  Speaker 1: you acknowledge and legitimize my fear, my worry, my concern,
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  Speaker 1: I'll trust you, But if you ignore it, if you
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  Speaker 1: downplay it, if you brush it off, if you criticize
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  Speaker 1: me for it, if you seem to be unaware of
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  Speaker 1: how current reality is impacting me and impacting my family,
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  Speaker 1: I'm going to resist you. And I'll resist you because, well,
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  Speaker 1: you've convinced me that you don't understand me. And while
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  Speaker 1: that may not even actually be the case. I mean,
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  Speaker 1: you may be as worried as I am, you may
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  Speaker 1: be as uncertain as I am, But for me to
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  Speaker 1: follow you, for me to follow you, you've got to
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  Speaker 1: convince me that you get me. Now, recently, I have
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  Speaker 1: the opportunity to interview author and consultant Patrick Lencioni on
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  Speaker 1: my Leadership podcast and I asked him, I said, Patrick,
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  Speaker 1: what are you telling leaders right now? He consults with
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  Speaker 1: business leaders and community leaders. And I said, Hey, during
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  Speaker 1: all this stuff that's going on, what are you saying?
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  Speaker 1: And here's what he said. He said, I'm telling leaders
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  Speaker 1: to be human. I'm telling leaders to be human, to
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  Speaker 1: check in often. Come on, no one has ever left
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  Speaker 1: a company because the leader over communicated or communicated too often.
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  Speaker 1: But to be clear, I'm talking about expressing your humanity
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  Speaker 1: within the context of your role as a leader. This
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  Speaker 1: isn't just empathy for empathy's sake. This isn't I know
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  Speaker 1: you're worried. I'm worried too, so let's just all be
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  Speaker 1: worried together. That's a version of empathy. That's not leadership,
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  Speaker 1: and it's not what your family and the folks who
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  Speaker 1: are depending on you need right now. Empathy within the
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  Speaker 1: context of leadership is for the purpose of building trust,
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  Speaker 1: so that the people who depend on you will trust
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  Speaker 1: you enough to follow you. Now, there's actually a biblical
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  Speaker 1: term for this that I think encapsulates this idea perfectly. Really,
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  Speaker 1: it captures this dynamics. It may make you a bit nervous,
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  Speaker 1: but it shouldn't. And it's the term pastor pastor And
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  Speaker 1: you know, for most of us, the term pastor carries
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  Speaker 1: religious connotations, but technically it shouldn't. It comes from the
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  Speaker 1: Latin term for shepherd. In fact, interesting fact, the term
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  Speaker 1: pastor should have never appeared in our English New Testament
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  Speaker 1: because it's not a translation of the Greek text. Early
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  Speaker 1: Bible translators actually substituted the Latin term pastor for the
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  Speaker 1: Greek term shepherd. And why did they do that? Well,
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  Speaker 1: that's the story for another day. But Originally, like back
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  Speaker 1: in Jesus Day, originally pastoring or literally shepherding was a function,
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  Speaker 1: not a church office. It certainly wasn't a position. Now,
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  Speaker 1: the important thing for our discussion is that during times
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  Speaker 1: of disruption, uncertainty and uncertainty, our families, our communities, and
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  Speaker 1: our employees need to be pastored or shepherded, not because
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  Speaker 1: they're sheep, because they're looking to you, and they're looking
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  Speaker 1: to me for well, they're looking to us for what
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  Speaker 1: sheep look to their shepherds for protection, security and reassurance.
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  Speaker 1: So if you lead in any capacity, in any capacity,
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  Speaker 1: shepherding is part of your responsibility. And if you're thinking, well, Andy,
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  Speaker 1: that's easy for you to say because you're a professional shepherd.
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  Speaker 1: It's not as easy for me to say, as you
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  Speaker 1: might imagine. I'm a pastor by profession, but the pastoring
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  Speaker 1: aspect of my leadership does not come natural to me.
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  Speaker 1: I had to learn, and honestly i'm still learning. I'm
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  Speaker 1: a much better public speaker than I am a shepherd,
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  Speaker 1: and I'm not out of that. In fact, the only
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  Speaker 1: reason I tell you that is to encourage those of
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  Speaker 1: you who are already playing with your phone because you're
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  Speaker 1: thinking there's no way I'm doing this too touchy feely
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  Speaker 1: for me. Right, I get that, and this may not
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  Speaker 1: be the way you're wired, but this is still your
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  Speaker 1: responsibility at home, at work, at school, and in your community,
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  Speaker 1: and maybe this will encourage you. Years ago, one of
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  Speaker 1: our board members was rushed to the hospital for emergency surgery,
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  Speaker 1: and when I found out, I drove over to the
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  Speaker 1: hospital to check on him. Back then, I didn't. In fact,
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  Speaker 1: I still don't do much hospital visitation for two reasons.
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  Speaker 1: I'm terrible at it and consequently, I'm uncomfortable with it
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  Speaker 1: and I make people uncomfortable, which is the last thing
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  Speaker 1: you want to do when people are already uncomfortable. Right anyway,
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  Speaker 1: So when I walked into Ray's hospital room, his eyes
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  Speaker 1: got big, and before he could stop himself, he blurted out, Andy,
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  Speaker 1: what are you doing here? And I said, Ray, I
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  Speaker 1: just came to check on you, And he said, and
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  Speaker 1: I quote, oh, when I saw you, I thought it
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  Speaker 1: must be worse than they told me. I'm such a
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  Speaker 1: comforting presence. So for some of you, what I'm about
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  Speaker 1: to suggest will not be natural. But that doesn't mean
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  Speaker 1: you don't care about people. You do You just care differently.
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  Speaker 1: But and this is so important in times of disruption,
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  Speaker 1: in times of uncertainty, we have to disrupt our own
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  Speaker 1: patterns and resist in some cases our personalities and our temperaments.
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  Speaker 1: In times of uncertainty, we have to step into the
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  Speaker 1: role of pastor and shepherd because along with clarity and
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  Speaker 1: moral authority, that's what people need. It's not necessarily what
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  Speaker 1: they need most. But and this is so important, it's
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  Speaker 1: not necessarily what they need most, but it is what
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  Speaker 1: they need first. So don't hide behind what's comfortable. Don't
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  Speaker 1: barricade yourself behind busyness or a role or a title.
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  Speaker 1: Great leaders do what needs to be done. And in
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  Speaker 1: times of disruption, people need shepherding, they need pastoring, they
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  Speaker 1: need reassuring. So whether it's comfortable or not, it's time
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  Speaker 1: to turn it up in the mix. And here's the thing.
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  Speaker 1: In fact, I'll make you a promise. If you do this,
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  Speaker 1: even if you do it poorly, even if you do
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  Speaker 1: it awkwardly, the people you're responsible for will be so grateful.
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  Speaker 1: They will appreciate the fact that you are stepping outside
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  Speaker 1: of your comfort zone for their sake, that you're putting
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  Speaker 1: them first. And according to Jesus. That's what great leaders do.
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  Speaker 1: That's what he did. He put other people first. After
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  Speaker 1: a particularly stressful season of literally hands on ministry, Jesus
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  Speaker 1: and his twelve apostles decided to get out of town
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  Speaker 1: for a break. In fact, Peter, by way of Mark
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  Speaker 1: tells us what took place. Here's what Peter told Mark.
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  Speaker 1: He said, so they talking about the twelve apostles in Jesus.
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  Speaker 1: They went away by themselves in a boat to a
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  Speaker 1: solitary place. So they decided, we just need to get
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  Speaker 1: away from the crowd and take a break because they've
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  Speaker 1: been so busy. The story continues, but many who saw
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  Speaker 1: them leaving on the boat recognized them. There's Jesus, there's Jesus.
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  Speaker 1: And they ran on foot around the edge of the
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  Speaker 1: lake from all the towns, and they got to where
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  Speaker 1: Jesus was going ahead of Jesus. And then something interesting happens.
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  Speaker 1: When Jesus and his apostles landed and saw the large crowd,
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  Speaker 1: he got back on the boat and went to an
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  Speaker 1: even more solitary place. No, that's not what he did.
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  Speaker 1: And when Jesus saw the large crowd, this is so powerful.
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  Speaker 1: Even though he was worn out even though he was tired,
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  Speaker 1: he had compassion on them because they were like sheep
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  Speaker 1: without a shepherd, and so he began teaching them many things.
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  Speaker 1: This is so powerful. He leaned in and he moved
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  Speaker 1: in their direction. In fact, you know the rest of
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  Speaker 1: the story. He spent so much time with them that
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  Speaker 1: everybody missed dinner. And so then he did what good
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  Speaker 1: shepherds do. He fed them all five thousand plus of
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  Speaker 1: the crowd. Later on John the Apostle, John would record
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  Speaker 1: Jesus description of his role as a shepherd. And this
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  Speaker 1: is so instructive, and this is so inspiring for all
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  Speaker 1: of us. In fact, for those of us who are
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  Speaker 1: responsible for members of our family or a company or
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  Speaker 1: a community. Here is the posture. Here's the posture we
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  Speaker 1: are to take as leaders who are stepping into the
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  Speaker 1: role of shepherd. Here's what Jesus says, speaking of the
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  Speaker 1: role of shepherd. He says, he calls his own sheep
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  Speaker 1: by name and leads them out. This is what the
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  Speaker 1: good shepherd does. He calls his own sheep by name
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  Speaker 1: and leads them out. When he has brought out all
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  Speaker 1: his own, he goes on ahead of them. He goes
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  Speaker 1: on ahead of them and his sheep follow him because
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  Speaker 1: they know, Oh his voice now, what I'm about to
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  Speaker 1: say next is so extraordinarily important during times of uncertainty
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  Speaker 1: and daring, times of disruption, your voice. Your voice is
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  Speaker 1: more important than your words. During times of uncertainty and disruption.
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  Speaker 1: When it comes to the people looking to you for
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  Speaker 1: hope and reassurance, your voice is more important than your words.
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  Speaker 1: Your voice is an expression of your humanity. People need
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  Speaker 1: to hear your voice. It's not enough for them to
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  Speaker 1: read your words. Email and text on those are for
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  Speaker 1: normal times, but during times of disruption and uncertainty, find
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  Speaker 1: ways for people to hear your voice. When you're tempted
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  Speaker 1: to text, call, I mean, they probably won't answer anyway, right,
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  Speaker 1: nobody answers anymore, But leave a voicemail. Let people hear
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  Speaker 1: your voice because your voice conveys your humanity, your empathy,
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  Speaker 1: your genuine interest. And call some by even if you
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  Speaker 1: can't call everybody. This is symbolic leadership. It goes back
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  Speaker 1: to what you've heard me say before. Always look for
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  Speaker 1: an opportunity to do for one what you wish you
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  Speaker 1: could do for everyone. Your team or your staff may
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  Speaker 1: be too large for you to call everyone, but call
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  Speaker 1: someone and check in, especially those who are having a
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  Speaker 1: particularly difficult time in this season. And please ignore that
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  Speaker 1: little voice in your head, Ignore that little voice in
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  Speaker 1: your head that says, well, since I can't do it
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  Speaker 1: for everyone, I shouldn't do it for anyone. That's nonsense.
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  Speaker 1: Don't try to be fair, be engaged, especially now. And again,
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  Speaker 1: this doesn't come naturally for me, not because I don't care,
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  Speaker 1: but because I forget how important this is. When I
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  Speaker 1: first heard that my friend Stuart Hall had been rushed
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  Speaker 1: to the hospital with complications from COVID, I came home
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  Speaker 1: that afternoon and I told Sandra, and I was telling
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  Speaker 1: her all about the things that were going on, and
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  Speaker 1: Sandra asked me. She said, well, have you called Kelly
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  Speaker 1: his wife Kelly? Have you called Kelly? I said, no, huh,
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  Speaker 1: I'll text her later, and she smiled. She reached over,
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  Speaker 1: literally took my phone, slid it across the counter, and
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  Speaker 1: she looked at me and she said, I think we
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  Speaker 1: should call her now. She was right, and so I
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  Speaker 1: called and I didn't know what to say. I mean,
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  Speaker 1: at times, there's nothing to say. It's why we don't call,
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  Speaker 1: isn't it. But that's a mistake. Call somebody, even if
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  Speaker 1: you can't call everybody again. This is our responsibility as leaders.
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  Speaker 1: But if you're a Jesus follower, it goes beyond that.
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  Speaker 1: If you're a Jesus follower, this goes beyond just good
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  Speaker 1: leadership etiquette. Jesus said this, He said, this is so powerful.
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  Speaker 1: He said, I am the good Shepherd. I am the
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  Speaker 1: good Shepherd. And when we read something like that, especially
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  Speaker 1: if you're a Jesus follower, you feel like it just
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  Speaker 1: puts him in a category of one. But that's not
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  Speaker 1: his point. He said, I am the good Shepherd, which
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  Speaker 1: means if we are Jesus followers, and if Jesus was
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  Speaker 1: willing to step into the role as shepherd, think about that.
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  Speaker 1: If Jesus was willing to step into that role, as
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  Speaker 1: his followers, we have no choice but to follow. But
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  Speaker 1: what he says next may cause your heart skip a beat.
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  Speaker 1: He says this, I am the good shepherd. And oh,
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  Speaker 1: by the way, the good shepherd lays down his life
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  Speaker 1: for the sheep, to which we think, I'm not sure
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  Speaker 1: I want to be that good right. Fortunately this is
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  Speaker 1: not literal for most of us, but there is certainly
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  Speaker 1: application and Here's why I say that. The good shepherd
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  Speaker 1: puts the sheep first, and the sheep know it, and
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  Speaker 1: the good shepherd steps out of his or her comfort
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  Speaker 1: zone to make sure the sheep feel comforted. So don't
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  Speaker 1: just be father, be dad, don't just be mother, be mom.
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  Speaker 1: Don't just be boss, manager, supervisor, be human, or, to
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  Speaker 1: use Jesus' words, don't be like a hired hand. Don't
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  Speaker 1: be like someone who's there because they have to be.
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  Speaker 1: They're there because they're paid to be, because they're supposed
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  Speaker 1: to be. The hired hand isn't in it for the sheep.
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  Speaker 1: The hired hand is in it. Well, actually, Jesus says
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  Speaker 1: it best. Here's what he said. He said the hired
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  Speaker 1: hand is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep.
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  Speaker 1: So what happens when he sees the wolf coming, He
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  Speaker 1: abandons the sheep and he runs away. Why Jesus tells
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  Speaker 1: us the man runs away because he is a hired
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  Speaker 1: hand and he cares nothing for the sheep. He's not
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  Speaker 1: in it for the sake of the sheep, so he
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  Speaker 1: doesn't stick around when things are uncomfortable, during times of
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  Speaker 1: uncertainty and disruption, when the wolves are howling. Your presence,
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  Speaker 1: your willingness to stick around, your willingness to keep showing up,
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  Speaker 1: is more important than ever Your presence. Your presence is
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  Speaker 1: more important than your presentation. Your presence is more important
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  Speaker 1: than your preparation. Where I struggle with this as a leader,
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  Speaker 1: and sometimes even as a father, is I feel like
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  Speaker 1: there's no reason to show up until I have something
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  Speaker 1: new to say, right, until I have something helpful to say,
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  Speaker 1: insightful to say, until I have something specific to offer,
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  Speaker 1: until I have answers and solutions. That's a mistake. In
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  Speaker 1: times of uncertainty, our presence, our presence is everything. And
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  Speaker 1: this is difficult for some of us because we're solution people, right,
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  Speaker 1: We're progress oriented. So why pull people together if we
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  Speaker 1: don't have solutions and answers? Because in times of disruption,
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  Speaker 1: there is something more important, namely our presence. Now, this
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  Speaker 1: next little illustration may be a bit close to home,
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  Speaker 1: so I just want to warn you ahead of time.
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  Speaker 1: But have you ever sat in a waiting room waiting
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  Speaker 1: for information from a doctor or a surgeon? Let me
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  Speaker 1: ask you this, if you've ever been in that situation,
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: Can they show up or check in too often? Can
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: they show up or check in too frequently. I mean
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: they be too present. No, because when the doctor or
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: the surgeon walks in, what do we do? We lean in? Why?
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: Because we crave reassurance, We crave their presence. We don't
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: want a text and we don't want a phone call.
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: We want a person and in a hospital waiting room.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: Come on, we could care less about the quality of
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: the doctor's presentation, right, we don't roll our eyes if
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: his grammar isn't perfect or she mispronounces a name. So
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: as a father, as a husband, as a leader, as
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: a boss, here's the question. Here's the question that I'm
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: responsible for asking myself every single day. And if you
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: have people looking to you for direction, reassurance and hope,
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: it's a question you should ask yourself every day as well.
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: And here it is do people know? Do people know?
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: Do people know that I care? Do the people you
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: are responsible for do they know that you care? You
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: know you care? But do they know? Or to ask
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: it a different way, is your humanity showing? Is your
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: humanity showing? To wrap up, I want to tell you
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: a story. It involves President Obama. And if you're a Democrat,
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: you're gonna love this. If you are a Republican, you
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: should love this, not because you necessarily loved him, but
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: because you're mature enough to learn from anybody and everybody. Right, So,
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: for four minutes, just four minutes, I want you to
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: set aside your political filter, because this incident from his
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: presidency punctuates the importance of taking on the mantle of
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: shepherd in pastor in times of disruption, uncertainty, and in
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: this instance, in times of unspeakable tragedy. If you have
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: ever visited a friend or family member who has lost
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: a child, you know that it's one of the most
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: difficult environments to walk into As a pastor, I have
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: found myself in this place over and over and over
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: and there's just no nothing to say. And this is
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: especially difficult if someone has lost a child unexpectedly. There
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: just are no words, There are no solutions. But imagine
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: having to walk into that set of circumstances or that
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: environment twenty times to comfort twenty families on the same afternoon.
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: This is the situation President Obama found himself walking into
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: by choice following the Sandy Hook Elementary School shootings in
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: twenty twelve in Newtown, Connecticut. On the morning of December fourteenth.
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: You'll probably remember this. A twenty year old broke into
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: the school right after the doors had been locked. He
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: shot and killed twenty six people, including twenty children, before
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: taking his own life. The oldest child was seven years old.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: Michelle Obama in her memoirs, said this. She said, it
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: was the darkest day in the White House. She wrote,
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: when I walked in. When I walked into the Oval office,
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: Barack and I embrace silently. There was nothing to say,
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: no words. As a fact guy, that's how she describes
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: him as a fat guy. She said that President Obama
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: demanded to be fully briefed. He wanted all the details.
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: Joshua Dubois, who was the spiritual advisor to the president,
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: in his book The President's Devotional describes a Saturday after
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: noon that the President called him and said he wanted
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: to meet with each of the families of the victims,
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: and he wanted Joshua to go with him. Joshua describes
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: what happened when they arrived. This is from his book.
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: He said, we prepared seven or eight classrooms for the
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: families of the slain children, and teachers two or three
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: families to a classroom. The President took a deep breath,
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: steeled himself, and went into the first classroom. And what
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: happened next, he says, I'll never forget person. After Peron
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: received an engulfing hug from our commander in chief, he
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: would say, tell me, tell me about your son, tell
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: me about your daughter. And then he would hold pictures
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: of the loss beloved as their parents, describe their favorite foods,
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: their favorite television shows, and the sounds of their laughter.
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: For the younger siblings of those who had passed away,
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: many of them two or three four years old, way
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: too young to understand, he said that the President would
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: grab them, toss them into the air, laughing, and then
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: hand them a box of white House eminem's. Joshua says
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: this in each room, I saw his eyes water, but
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: he did not break. And then the entire scene would
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: repeat itself four hours, over and over again, threw well
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: over one hundred relatives of the fallen, each one equally broken,
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: each one equally wrecked by the loss. Joshua says that
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: he and the President flew home in silence, and that
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: President Obama never spoke of these sacred moments in public.
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: In fact, this is probably the first time you've heard
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: about this. Now Here's why I tell you that story.
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: It takes away our excuses because that day President Obama
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: was the pastor in chief, the shepherd in chief, not
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: because he claimed that title. It's not a title, because
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: he acted, because he led in that capacity. He showed
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: his humanity, He took off the mantle of authority, and
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: he set it aside because that's what the moment called for.
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: Think about it. He could have gotten away with a
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: handwritten note. He could have gotten away with just a
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: car all. He could have met with all the families
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: at one time. I'm expressed his condolences and then flown home.
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: But he didn't. He waited in because that's what the
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: moment called for. The point being this, there's a time
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: for us non huggers to hug, for us order givers
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: to listen, for the fact people to stop and just feel,
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: for us progress, people to pause and just be in
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: the moment, for fathers to be dad and for mothers
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: to be mom in times of disruption and uncertainty. Words
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: are important, but words are not enough. Lead with your humanity,
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: your presence, your compassion, your empathy. Assure the people who
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: are looking to you that you care. Make sure your
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: humanity is showing h