Latest / ok storytime / My DJ CANCELED the day before my wedding, because he was on the run! -r/weddingshaming | Reddit Stories | EP3125

Transcript

My DJ CANCELED the day before my wedding, because he was on the run! -r/weddingshaming | Reddit Stories | EP3125 · ok storytime

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Riley.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: And this is Keon, your favorite OK Storytime host, and
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: we've got some great stories coming up.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: But before we get.
• 0:06
  Speaker 3: To that, we have a quick two-minute break from the
• 0:09
  Speaker 3: sponsors that keep the show alive.
• 0:11
  Speaker 4: My DJ canceled the day before my wedding because he
• 0:15
  Speaker 4: was on the run.
• 0:16
  Speaker 5: Oh no.
• 0:17
  Speaker 4: My now husband and I got married on September 6th.
• 0:20
  Speaker 4: It was a beautiful ceremony and one of the best
• 0:22
  Speaker 4: days of my life. But there was one little snag
• 0:26
  Speaker 4: of hiring a bad DJ. I figured it might make
• 0:28
  Speaker 4: for a good story here, so please enjoy it. And
• 0:31
  Speaker 4: spoiler alert, there is a happy ending. We hired a
• 0:34
  Speaker 4: DJ who we met in 2022 at my now brother-in-law's wedding.
• 0:38
  Speaker 4: He did a great job and was communicative and showed
• 0:41
  Speaker 4: up on time, followed their request and was overall just
• 0:44
  Speaker 4: a great vendor for them to work with. It was
• 0:46
  Speaker 4: almost a no brainer that my now husband and I
• 0:49
  Speaker 4: would hire the same DJ as his rates were good
• 0:52
  Speaker 4: and we had seen his job performance before and he
• 0:54
  Speaker 4: had a good reference. We hired him and paid in
• 0:57
  Speaker 4: full nine months in advance. Two weeks before the wedding,
• 1:01
  Speaker 4: he is texting my now husband confirming all the details.
• 1:05
  Speaker 4: He asks about lighting configurations and outlets at the venue,
• 1:08
  Speaker 4: parking for the trailer. He's acting totally normal. And my
• 1:11
  Speaker 4: now husband and I think everything's fine. We have no
• 1:14
  Speaker 4: reason to believe otherwise. And by the way, this story
• 1:17
  Speaker 4: comes from JustThrowAway67. If you want to submit your own stories,
• 1:20
  Speaker 4: go to our subreddit.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: I'm Dakota.
• 1:23
  Speaker 6: I'm Keon.
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: And we have a very special guest returning back. Can
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: you go ahead and introduce yourself?
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 1:29
  Speaker 7: It's the man in the purple suit, Jonathan Mollo.
• 1:31
  Speaker 5: Yes.
• 1:31
  Speaker 7: Thank you so much for having me back. I'm so grateful.
• 1:33
  Speaker 8: Oh.
• 1:34
  Speaker 5: Yes.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: We are glad to have you back.
• 1:36
  Speaker 7: Let's go.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: But we've got a little more story here.
• 1:39
  Speaker 4: The day before our wedding, we're confirming final details and
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: calling people to make sure they know where to go
• 1:44
  Speaker 4: and what to do and making all our final.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: Contacts to our vendors.
• 1:48
  Speaker 4: My husband gets a text at 9 in the morning
• 1:51
  Speaker 4: the day before our wedding that our DJ is afraid
• 1:55
  Speaker 4: to come to our state due to threats made against
• 1:58
  Speaker 4: his person.
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 2:00
  Speaker 7: Weird. What?
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: What?
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like.
• 2:04
  Speaker 4: Magicians would have to deal with that from like really
• 2:06
  Speaker 4: like traditional people who believe like magic is evil.
• 2:10
  Speaker 7: Oh, we're the devil.
• 2:11
  Speaker 4: And they're like, if you bring your magic around my family,
• 2:14
  Speaker 4: it'll be the worst thing you do.
• 2:16
  Speaker 7: Yes. But you already paid your deposit. So.
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: Exactly.
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: Nine months in advance. This guy got paid. That's crazy.
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: Crazy.
• 2:25
  Speaker 4: The DJ sends a long text telling my husband about
• 2:29
  Speaker 4: his worries about his health and safety and the unfairness
• 2:32
  Speaker 4: of the situation and how a refund would be coming
• 2:35
  Speaker 4: if we'd like.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: Well, at least he's giving you the option to get
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: your money back.
• 2:38
  Speaker 7: Hmm.
• 2:39
  Speaker 4: OK, so now it's a little over 24 hours before
• 2:42
  Speaker 4: we walk down the aisle. So we are both freaking out.
• 2:45
  Speaker 4: My husband called the DJ and he admits that instead
• 2:49
  Speaker 4: of the mafia being after him, which that was our
• 2:51
  Speaker 4: initial thought, he's actually wanted on felony charges in our
• 2:55
  Speaker 4: state and has an active arrest warrant.
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: Oh, my gosh.
• 2:59
  Speaker 4: The DJ assures us that these are nonviolent crimes and
• 3:03
  Speaker 4: we tell him we're going to have to call him back.
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: So we look him up in our state's open records,
• 3:09
  Speaker 4: and we find that it is mostly petty charges. Driving
• 3:13
  Speaker 4: without insurance multiple times since 2023 and unpaid speeding tickets.
• 3:18
  Speaker 4: But then comes the bigger charge.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: Possession of the devil's leaf.
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: The green leaf.
• 3:25
  Speaker 7: Oh, no.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: Come on.
• 3:28
  Speaker 4: Not a lot was found in his car based on
• 3:30
  Speaker 4: the level of misdemeanor, but then he takes it a
• 3:32
  Speaker 4: step further, and two months before our wedding... decides to
• 3:35
  Speaker 4: jump his bail and flee the state.
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: Let's go.
• 3:39
  Speaker 7: Oh, it's not good.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: It's not good.
• 3:43
  Speaker 4: You know, it's a gray area in life when you
• 3:45
  Speaker 4: run away from the.
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: I mean.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: Come on. Who's getting charged for that in 2026?
• 3:50
  Speaker 4: Who's getting charged?
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: I feel like.
• 3:54
  Speaker 6: I mean, I thought... Come on!
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: I was expecting, like, you know, the movie Now You
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: See Me. You know, with magicians stealing, like.
• 3:59
  Speaker 6: Which is a horrible movie.
• 4:00
  Speaker 7: It's a horrible movie. But I guess my question is,
• 4:04
  Speaker 7: he knew this information before he got hired.
• 4:09
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I guess so.
• 4:10
  Speaker 7: Yeah, and he... Does it say he gave back their money,
• 4:14
  Speaker 7: their refund?
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, he did offer them a refund.
• 4:16
  Speaker 4: So it looks like two months before the wedding happened
• 4:19
  Speaker 4: is when he, like, jumped ship and left.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: So I guess they paid in advance, like, way before that.
• 4:26
  Speaker 7: Interesting.
• 4:28
  Speaker 5: He's a good guy.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: He's literally like, I'll just give you your money back, dude.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: I'm just not going back there.
• 4:31
  Speaker 9: They're going to arrest me.
• 4:33
  Speaker 7: He seems a little shady to me, just a little bit.
• 4:35
  Speaker 7: Just a little.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: Pay your car insurance, dude.
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 4:39
  Speaker 4: That's the thing I'm most hooked on. I'm like, are
• 4:41
  Speaker 4: you serious? So if you crash into me, what? I'm
• 4:43
  Speaker 4: just on the hook now? This guy.
• 4:46
  Speaker 7: You know what? Perspective. I love it.
• 4:48
  Speaker 4: So he is now just taking a misdemeanor. to a
• 4:51
  Speaker 4: felony by crossing state lines.
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: Oh, sheesh.
• 4:54
  Speaker 4: And he now has an active arrest warrant out for him.
• 4:56
  Speaker 4: We were both very upset at this point. This DJ
• 4:59
  Speaker 4: knows the industry and knows how hard it is to
• 5:02
  Speaker 4: find a replacement short term, and he's known for months
• 5:04
  Speaker 4: that he's not able to enter our state legally.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: Say, apology.
• 5:07
  Speaker 4: Now, I do just want to point out, OP, I
• 5:10
  Speaker 4: think this guy's got more important things to deal with
• 5:13
  Speaker 4: on his plate right now than like, oh, I'm inconveniencing
• 5:18
  Speaker 4: these guys.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: He's like, I'm trying not to go to prison.
• 5:21
  Speaker 7: Yes, I agree with you, but the thing is he knew.
• 5:25
  Speaker 7: He knew already, and that's kind of what I do.
• 5:29
  Speaker 7: I deceive, and he deceived these people, even though I'm
• 5:34
  Speaker 7: wondering if he would really give them money back. It
• 5:38
  Speaker 7: seems like he's a dishonest person.
• 5:40
  Speaker 4: I feel like he probably wouldn't give it all back.
• 5:43
  Speaker 4: He'd be like, oh, well, it says right here there's
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: a nonrefundable deposit. It's like, dude, I'm going to call
• 5:48
  Speaker 4: the feds and get you arrested.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 5:51
  Speaker 7: Yeah. Interesting.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that is true. Just a week, even a week,
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: like two weeks before.
• 5:56
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: A day before, it's like impossible.
• 5:59
  Speaker 7: Listen.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: You're right.
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: Modern day DJs, very easy. Give me my phone. Give
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: me the speaker.
• 6:06
  Speaker 6: We're good. Exactly.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you could run that.
• 6:10
  Speaker 7: You're going to get a lot of hate mail from
• 6:11
  Speaker 7: the DJs out there. They're going to be like, what?
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: You're going to say, stop telling them our secrets.
• 6:15
  Speaker 7: Yes, there you go.
• 6:17
  Speaker 6: All right, cha-cha slide, queued up.
• 6:18
  Speaker 7: We're good. There you go. Hey, that's a Filipino thing.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: Cha-cha slide for five hours.
• 6:23
  Speaker 7: There you go.
• 6:24
  Speaker 4: So, Hattie told us earlier we could have prepared better.
• 6:28
  Speaker 4: And these are the consequences of his own actions. Warrants
• 6:31
  Speaker 4: don't just pop up out of nowhere. Usually. It's not
• 6:34
  Speaker 4: like someone forced him to jump bail or forced him
• 6:37
  Speaker 4: to not tell us earlier than nine in the morning
• 6:40
  Speaker 4: the day before we get married. We call him back
• 6:43
  Speaker 4: and his first solution is this. His sister will drive
• 6:46
  Speaker 4: him and his equipment over the state line in the
• 6:48
  Speaker 4: late afternoon on Friday so he can perform the work
• 6:51
  Speaker 4: laid out in the contract.
• 6:52
  Speaker 7: Wow.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: Now you're implicating your sister?
• 6:54
  Speaker 7: That's so crazy.
• 6:55
  Speaker 6: It's a family business.
• 6:56
  Speaker 7: It is a family business, yes.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: Family conspiracy.
• 7:00
  Speaker 7: Oh.
• 7:01
  Speaker 4: And he can't check into a hotel due to his warrant,
• 7:03
  Speaker 4: so he'll just sleep in the woods behind the venue.
• 7:07
  Speaker 7: Oh, he has a plan. I love the plan. He's
• 7:09
  Speaker 7: an outdoorsy kind of guy.
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: I just want to get a little fresh air. I
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: love the smell of freedom.
• 7:16
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah.
• 7:17
  Speaker 7: Me too.
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: Me too.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: Then, the next morning, he'll wake up. And do the
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: whole DJ thing. He also offers that he'd be more
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: than happy to stay with us at our home.
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: I'll be more than happy to stay in your house.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: What a sweet guy. This guy is losing it. He's
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: at this point. Maybe I'll stay at your place.
• 7:38
  Speaker 7: I need his number. I'm going to hire him for
• 7:39
  Speaker 7: my next event.
• 7:40
  Speaker 6: Honestly, this guy seems like he can commit to the bit, honestly.
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: Got to commit to the bit.
• 7:45
  Speaker 7: Yeah, I think you're right.
• 7:46
  Speaker 4: Since he doesn't have a valid license and is running
• 7:49
  Speaker 4: from the law, he can't drive himself home. So he
• 7:52
  Speaker 4: plans on just having my now husband just bring him
• 7:55
  Speaker 4: back over the state line, essentially the crime of aiding
• 7:58
  Speaker 4: and abetting. He assures us this is a great plan.
• 8:01
  Speaker 4: And the pressure is building on our end.
• 8:05
  Speaker 6: He's a salesman.
• 8:06
  Speaker 5: Yes.
• 8:06
  Speaker 7: I think he's a liar, to be honest with you.
• 8:08
  Speaker 5: Oh, 100%.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: But, you know, again, like I said, he's committing to
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: the bid. This guy's saying, no, I can do this
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: for you. You go and do this for me. I'm
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: doing this for you.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: He's like, I will.
• 8:18
  Speaker 4: Risk my life and limb for you. There's not, this
• 8:21
  Speaker 4: guy's going to go out. You're going to release this
• 8:22
  Speaker 4: man into the woods and never see him again.
• 8:25
  Speaker 7: Well, don't tell me there's more to this story. Is
• 8:27
  Speaker 7: there more to this story?
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: There is a little more. Oh my gosh.
• 8:30
  Speaker 4: We got to find out what they did. I got
• 8:32
  Speaker 4: to assume they did not go with this guy.
• 8:34
  Speaker 7: I'm sure they didn't.
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: So.
• 8:37
  Speaker 4: It is now noon, the day before our wedding, and
• 8:40
  Speaker 4: we start making frantic calls to family and friends to
• 8:43
  Speaker 4: see who might have equipment or knowledge about how.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: To run said equipment.
• 8:46
  Speaker 4: My husband calls his best friend since middle school, and
• 8:49
  Speaker 4: he has a friend who has the full DJ setup
• 8:52
  Speaker 4: with speakers and lights. My husband was worried that the
• 8:54
  Speaker 4: original DJ wouldn't get our taste in music right, so
• 8:57
  Speaker 4: he's already built the perfect playlist for our wedding. So
• 9:00
  Speaker 4: it's essentially just plug and play from this point forward. Easy.
• 9:03
  Speaker 6: What I say.
• 9:04
  Speaker 7: Easy.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 9:05
  Speaker 7: Easy.
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: Why aren't you guys even hiring a DJ?
• 9:07
  Speaker 6: I'm a modern day DJ. You should hire a magician.
• 9:09
  Speaker 7: That's what you should hire.
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: Magician.
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: 100%.
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: It's a DJ for your brain.
• 9:14
  Speaker 7: I'm going to trademark that.
• 9:16
  Speaker 6: You got it.
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: Thank you.
• 9:17
  Speaker 6: Yes, you're welcome.
• 9:18
  Speaker 7: I'm going to write it down.
• 9:19
  Speaker 4: At the end of the day, we saved by having
• 9:22
  Speaker 4: great friends and the power of friendship has won again.
• 9:25
  Speaker 4: We'll be getting our refund around Christmas, but if we don't,
• 9:28
  Speaker 4: then we're just out the money.
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.
• 9:31
  Speaker 4: Obviously, the DJ doesn't show up for court, so there's
• 9:34
  Speaker 4: no point in doing small claims court. We had the
• 9:38
  Speaker 4: suggestion made to call him to our state and have
• 9:41
  Speaker 4: him arrested by local law enforcement, but we decided against
• 9:44
  Speaker 4: that as it's not the kind of entertainment we want
• 9:46
  Speaker 4: at our wedding.
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: We had a song called Degenerates.
• 9:49
  Speaker 4: On our wedding playlist, and we asked our new and
• 9:51
  Speaker 4: improved DJ with no active warrants to make a quick
• 9:53
  Speaker 4: announcement that this song.
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: Was dedicated to our DJ. Our old DJ.
• 9:59
  Speaker 5: Overall, we.
• 10:00
  Speaker 4: what do you guys think? And that is the end
• 10:02
  Speaker 4: of that. I do think he should have told you
• 10:04
  Speaker 4: once he fleed the state.
• 10:05
  Speaker 7: He should have told them when he got hired. He knew.
• 10:10
  Speaker 7: He knew.
• 10:11
  Speaker 4: Maybe he thought he was going to like, you know,
• 10:13
  Speaker 4: it's like, ah, that'll take care of itself. At the
• 10:15
  Speaker 4: point you're running from the state, you need to let.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: The people in your calendar know.
• 10:21
  Speaker 4: No, hey, I won't be here for that unless you
• 10:24
  Speaker 4: want to have your wedding somewhere else.
• 10:26
  Speaker 7: No, you're right.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: If you if you come to me. Exactly. And that's
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: what it's all about.
• 10:31
  Speaker 7: It just seems like not a good regardless. Well, so
• 10:34
  Speaker 7: this is what my my my wife always tells me.
• 10:36
  Speaker 7: She tells me say less. And I think. The DJ
• 10:41
  Speaker 7: said more than what they needed to know.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that is true.
• 10:45
  Speaker 4: You could have just been like, I'm completely unavailable.
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. This just can't happen. You wanted to
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: tell a story. I'll refund you.
• 10:52
  Speaker 7: Doesn't that matter?
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: He thought being like, I'm a felon.
• 10:55
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: You understand, right? You'll be cool.
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: I'll give you your money back probably.
• 11:00
  Speaker 7: I'm cool with that. I like a story.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: I do like the say less is a good.
• 11:04
  Speaker 7: Write it down, everybody.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: Can be a good technique.
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: the next one.
• 11:11
  Speaker 4: My pushy relative kept begging me to attend my wedding,
• 11:15
  Speaker 4: even though I kept on saying no.
• 11:17
  Speaker 7: Oh, okay. No means no.
• 11:20
  Speaker 4: I had a very small destination wedding about 10 hours
• 11:24
  Speaker 4: from my hometown, but only two hours from a fairly
• 11:27
  Speaker 4: major city, which is where most of the guests flew into.
• 11:30
  Speaker 4: It's also where my dad's cousin and her husband live.
• 11:33
  Speaker 4: This woman is one of the most insufferable, outspoken, overbearing
• 11:38
  Speaker 4: people I have ever met in my life. And I
• 11:40
  Speaker 4: wouldn't have wanted her at my wedding even if it
• 11:43
  Speaker 4: had been a much larger wedding with a much, much
• 11:46
  Speaker 4: larger guest list. She pestered my parents relentlessly about coming
• 11:50
  Speaker 4: to the wedding.
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: To which the.
• 11:52
  Speaker 4: Reply was always, sorry, we're not allowed to have more
• 11:55
  Speaker 4: than X number of people on the property, including the
• 11:58
  Speaker 4: photographers and caterers and blah, blah, blah. And we just
• 12:01
  Speaker 4: cannot facilitate any more guests. Oh. We should have known
• 12:05
  Speaker 4: then how desperate she was to come, but figured it
• 12:08
  Speaker 4: would eventually sink in that she would not be attending
• 12:10
  Speaker 4: no matter how much she begged. And by the way,
• 12:13
  Speaker 4: this comes from user Elfireme. And if you want to
• 12:16
  Speaker 4: submit your own stories, you go to our subreddit.
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: I'm Dakota.
• 12:19
  Speaker 6: I'm Keon.
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: And we have a special guest here returning. Could you
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: go ahead and introduce yourself and let the people know
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: who you are?
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 12:26
  Speaker 7: It's the man in the purple suit, Jonathan Mollo. Thank
• 12:28
  Speaker 7: you so much for having me again.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: Thank you for being here, Jonathan. We are excited.
• 12:32
  Speaker 4: And OP says, Months later, my mom and I drove
• 12:35
  Speaker 4: into the town where the wedding would be two days
• 12:37
  Speaker 4: prior to begin preparations. As a compromise of sorts, we
• 12:41
  Speaker 4: told this cousin that we would meet her and her
• 12:44
  Speaker 4: husband for dinner and catch up if they wanted to
• 12:46
  Speaker 4: make the drive over to the evening we arrived, which was.
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: A big mistake.
• 12:52
  Speaker 7: Oh, no.
• 12:53
  Speaker 4: They very much did want to drive over and meet
• 12:57
  Speaker 4: us for dinner, so we grabbed a bite with them
• 12:59
  Speaker 4: and tried to part ways, only to be told that
• 13:03
  Speaker 4: totally spontaneously, and not at all with an agenda, that
• 13:07
  Speaker 4: they went ahead and booked a hotel and just decided.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: To make a weekend getaway out of it.
• 13:12
  Speaker 7: Ah.
• 13:12
  Speaker 4: Mmm.
• 13:13
  Speaker 7: Somebody doesn't have boundaries, it sounds.
• 13:15
  Speaker 4: Yes, no boundaries and definitely no motives beyond having a
• 13:19
  Speaker 4: fun weekend doing stuff that doesn't involve going to our wedding.
• 13:24
  Speaker 4: Dad's cousin once again tried to force her way into
• 13:27
  Speaker 4: getting a wedding invite for herself and her husband, and
• 13:30
  Speaker 4: we reiterated that she could not attend. We parted ways
• 13:35
  Speaker 4: and I hoped... That might be the end of it,
• 13:37
  Speaker 4: if only that had been the case. The next morning,
• 13:40
  Speaker 4: my family and the bridal party start arriving. My mom
• 13:43
  Speaker 4: and I left our hotel to walk around town and
• 13:45
  Speaker 4: then meet up with my brother and his family, who
• 13:48
  Speaker 4: I had not seen in about a year and was
• 13:51
  Speaker 4: beyond excited to reunite with.
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: Moments before their arrival, who comes strolling up? Yeah, dad's cousin.
• 13:58
  Speaker 7: Wow.
• 14:00
  Speaker 4: Who has immediately inserted herself into the reunion with my
• 14:03
  Speaker 4: family and interjecting herself so loudly the entire time. It
• 14:09
  Speaker 4: just absolutely ruined an otherwise sweet and wonderful moment. We
• 14:13
  Speaker 4: said our goodbyes to her, but instead, she decides to
• 14:16
  Speaker 4: attach herself to us and followed us everywhere the entire
• 14:21
  Speaker 4: rest of the morning and afternoon, forcing herself into every
• 14:24
  Speaker 4: subsequent reunion and festivity.
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: Hey, I have a question for you, O.P., Why don't
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: you tell her?
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: No.
• 14:31
  Speaker 4: Like, why don't you just say, leave, leave me alone.
• 14:34
  Speaker 4: This is why you're not invited. Look at what you're doing.
• 14:37
  Speaker 7: This sounds like a Filipino family. It really does. It
• 14:41
  Speaker 7: really does. It sounds like one of my aunties.
• 14:43
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 14:43
  Speaker 7: And, uh, you, you were always taught to like, um,
• 14:46
  Speaker 7: this is my mom. Sorry, mom. Uh, Jonathan, just respect
• 14:50
  Speaker 7: your elders. Mano po. Yeah, opo mom. Yeah, you just
• 14:55
  Speaker 7: kind of like, yeah, just let them do it because
• 14:57
  Speaker 7: they're older than you. Are you Filipino, OP?
• 15:00
  Speaker 4: Are you?
• 15:00
  Speaker 7: Who knows?
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: We caught you, OP.
• 15:02
  Speaker 6: There's always a lot of stories where you go, they're Filipino.
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 15:05
  Speaker 6: Like they haven't said it, but come on. They have
• 15:08
  Speaker 6: to be.
• 15:09
  Speaker 7: Yeah, because we'll do the passive aggressive thing. That's what
• 15:11
  Speaker 7: we love to do. So we'll just like, you know,
• 15:14
  Speaker 7: at that wedding, we would just, yeah. Be passive aggressive.
• 15:17
  Speaker 7: Not wanting them to be there.
• 15:19
  Speaker 4: And we want to have a special thanks to our
• 15:21
  Speaker 4: auntie here who somehow made her way into the wedding
• 15:26
  Speaker 4: despite not being invited at any point.
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: Look at her go.
• 15:29
  Speaker 6: Jonathan knows this. We love to be dramatic.
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: Oh, yes.
• 15:33
  Speaker 10: Yes.
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: It's like a K-drama or a Filipino drama.
• 15:38
  Speaker 7: It's what we love to do. That's why I became
• 15:42
  Speaker 7: a magician. I love the drama.
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: Dude, there is a lot of drama in the magic. Oh, yeah.
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: It does.
• 15:48
  Speaker 7: Yes.
• 15:49
  Speaker 4: So, the worst moment that finally pushed me over the
• 15:53
  Speaker 4: edge came during a late lunch. We had been walking
• 15:56
  Speaker 4: around all day, and I was getting tired and hungry
• 15:59
  Speaker 4: and crabby. So, my sister-in-law, bridesmaids, and I found an
• 16:03
  Speaker 4: adorable little taco place with a beautiful patio. and decided
• 16:07
  Speaker 4: to grab a bite to eat outside. She followed us
• 16:10
  Speaker 4: in and sat right down with us and then proceeded
• 16:13
  Speaker 4: to comment on every single thing I did for the
• 16:16
  Speaker 4: entire meal.
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: What do you mean by every single thing you did? Like, oh,
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: she's putting it in her mouth. Oh, she's chewing.
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: Oh, she's swallowing.
• 16:24
  Speaker 6: You go, what?
• 16:25
  Speaker 7: It's a Filipino idea. I can guarantee it. It's Filipino.
• 16:28
  Speaker 4: The two comments that still stick out were, you're sure
• 16:32
  Speaker 4: going to be a beautiful lobster with the sunburn you're
• 16:35
  Speaker 4: going to get eating outside like this as we sat
• 16:39
  Speaker 4: fully shaded under two giant umbrellas. And after I ordered
• 16:44
  Speaker 4: two street tacos, I guess making sure you fit into
• 16:48
  Speaker 4: your dress never occurred to you if you're going to
• 16:50
  Speaker 4: be eating.
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: All of that. At this point.
• 16:54
  Speaker 4: My blood was boiling and I was genuinely becoming convinced
• 16:57
  Speaker 4: she was showing up at my wedding the next day
• 16:59
  Speaker 4: one way or another, no matter what we told her.
• 17:02
  Speaker 4: So I stood up after paying and told her it
• 17:05
  Speaker 4: was going to be bridal party only from that point forward.
• 17:09
  Speaker 4: And we booked it, leaving her behind. It would be
• 17:13
  Speaker 4: so great if that were the end.
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: Oh, no.
• 17:15
  Speaker 4: But she and her husband genuinely did show up at
• 17:19
  Speaker 4: the venue that evening with gifts in hand moments before
• 17:21
  Speaker 4: the rehearsal dinner started.
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: They were fully dressed and ready to be a part
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: of the event.
• 17:27
  Speaker 7: What is going through their minds?
• 17:28
  Speaker 4: Like, they have to be so delusional, right? The self-embarrassment
• 17:32
  Speaker 4: I would have... After having it been made so clear, like,
• 17:36
  Speaker 4: I shouldn't be here.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: And then just showing up with gifts, dressed to the nines.
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: You need to tell me the person who was told
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: no numerous times actually showed up, got there somehow, some way,
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: is saying, yeah, you know what? We won't go full 100.
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: We'll just take it easy. We won't come up and,
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: you know.
• 17:53
  Speaker 7: It's a lack of boundaries. They don't care. It's the
• 17:56
  Speaker 7: lack of boundaries. Some people just don't have that sense.
• 17:59
  Speaker 7: It really is. It's a lack of boundaries. That's all
• 18:01
  Speaker 7: it was.
• 18:02
  Speaker 4: Yeah, maybe they're thinking like, well, it's the rehearsal dinner.
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: It's not the wedding.
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: We thought we'd just show up to the rehearsal dinner.
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: And then if it went well, you could let us
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: come tomorrow.
• 18:12
  Speaker 7: Say it in a Filipino accent. I think that's a
• 18:14
  Speaker 7: little bit more accurate.
• 18:15
  Speaker 4: So she went around to every single person there, telling
• 18:20
  Speaker 4: them about how much it would.
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: Mean to her to be there at the wedding.
• 18:24
  Speaker 4: And said no less than ten times, I promise I
• 18:27
  Speaker 4: don't even have to be in the room. I would
• 18:28
  Speaker 4: be more than happy to stand outside looking through the
• 18:31
  Speaker 4: windows if I could only just watch.
• 18:35
  Speaker 7: Oh.
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: Jeez Louise.
• 18:37
  Speaker 7: What do you see?
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: What do you even.
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: Say to that?
• 18:39
  Speaker 4: Please tell me... Please tell me. At this point, what
• 18:43
  Speaker 4: are they going to do? Like a Mission Impossible style
• 18:46
  Speaker 4: break into the wedding? Like they're going to rappel down
• 18:50
  Speaker 4: from the roof?
• 18:51
  Speaker 7: That would be awesome. A little show. They got gifts.
• 18:54
  Speaker 7: Did you hear they got gifts still?
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they're bringing more gifts. Oh, my God.
• 19:00
  Speaker 7: That's crazy.
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: So finally, God bless him.
• 19:03
  Speaker 4: My very confrontational and authoritative brother stepped in and reminded
• 19:08
  Speaker 4: her in no uncertain terms that she was not invited
• 19:12
  Speaker 4: and would not be showing up. She finally left, and
• 19:16
  Speaker 4: thankfully we did not hear from her again that weekend.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: We did it. Thank you, brother. Thank you, confrontational brother.
• 19:22
  Speaker 7: There we go.
• 19:23
  Speaker 4: She did, however, show up at my house years later
• 19:27
  Speaker 4: while visiting other family in town because she knew I
• 19:29
  Speaker 4: had had my son recently and she just had to
• 19:32
  Speaker 4: meet him.
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: Then the very next.
• 19:33
  Speaker 4: Day texted us to tell us she had tested positive
• 19:37
  Speaker 4: for the vid that night. Oh, no.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: What?
• 19:40
  Speaker 6: She knew what she was doing.
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: What a twist.
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: She keeps getting worse and worse.
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: Who is this person?
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: I have not seen her since and really, really don't.
• 19:50
  Speaker 4: Want to see her again, although she has a knack
• 19:52
  Speaker 4: for popping up no matter how hard you try to
• 19:54
  Speaker 4: avoid her.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of that.
• 19:56
  Speaker 4: Well, I wish you the best of luck in continuing
• 19:58
  Speaker 4: to avoid her. That's for sure.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 20:01
  Speaker 7: Oh, that's... This is... I didn't know this episode was
• 20:04
  Speaker 7: a horror story episode.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, apparently this is just.
• 20:08
  Speaker 4: yeah felonious djs and horrific filipino auntie yes auntie auntie.
• 20:14
  Speaker 7: No but but seriously like uh this is they make
• 20:17
  Speaker 7: movies about this like you know like just sudden the
• 20:23
  Speaker 7: the the auntie comes out of the the shadows and
• 20:26
  Speaker 7: uninvited in different.
• 20:28
  Speaker 4: Situations who oh god who was the actress it wasn't
• 20:32
  Speaker 4: I don't think it was Octavia Spencer. There was some
• 20:34
  Speaker 4: movie they made a while ago called, like, Ma. It
• 20:37
  Speaker 4: is Octavia Spencer. And it was, basically, the concept of
• 20:40
  Speaker 4: the movie is, like, some, like, lonely woman, like, just
• 20:44
  Speaker 4: starts to, like, throw parties for, like, kids.
• 20:47
  Speaker 7: What?
• 20:49
  Speaker 4: For, like, high schoolers so they can get, like, messed
• 20:52
  Speaker 4: up and stuff. And she, like, just, like, loses her
• 20:55
  Speaker 4: mind and is, like, it's like a Norman Bates, like, psycho.
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: Type of, like, situation. She's, like, trying to, like, like,
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: you know, bury these kids in the woods or something.
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: I don't know, like... That's very aggressive, isn't it? Yeah.
• 21:07
  Speaker 4: And just because she wanted to be cool. And it
• 21:09
  Speaker 4: was once they stopped, they were like, actually, you're weird,
• 21:11
  Speaker 4: and we're done.
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: Letting you throw parties for us. That's when she, like,
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: loses it. Yeah, she was crazy.
• 21:17
  Speaker 7: That's scary. All right, now I'm going to have nightmares
• 21:19
  Speaker 7: because of this episode.
• 21:20
  Speaker 3: Thank you, guys.
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: It's the nightmare episode.
• 21:23
  Speaker 7: Oh, my goodness.
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: With Jonathan Moeller.
• 21:24
  Speaker 4: Oh, yes.
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: the next one.
• 21:29
  Speaker 4: My client tried to scam me months after I gave
• 21:33
  Speaker 4: her my service. I am currently finishing up a commission
• 21:38
  Speaker 4: of hand-painted wedding signs for a friend of a friend.
• 21:42
  Speaker 4: So far, the bride-to-be has been super lovely and very
• 21:45
  Speaker 4: understanding of some issues faced along the way. As a background,
• 21:49
  Speaker 4: I'm really good at what I do, but I am
• 21:53
  Speaker 4: not a trained professional.
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: I am very open and honest with this.
• 21:58
  Speaker 4: I also suffer from nerve damage in my upper back, neck,
• 22:01
  Speaker 4: and left shoulder, plus frequently get RSI. So, small tiny
• 22:07
  Speaker 4: text in print style font can be difficult to accomplish.
• 22:10
  Speaker 4: Something I'm also honest about, if you want a print
• 22:14
  Speaker 4: style text, it will not be 100% perfect and look
• 22:17
  Speaker 4: like it has been printed anyway. A few years ago,
• 22:20
  Speaker 4: I was commissioned by a coworker to paint two large.
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: Signs for their daughter's wedding. She wanted print-only text.
• 22:28
  Speaker 4: I explained how it wouldn't really be 100% perfect, but
• 22:31
  Speaker 4: she said she was fine with that and that it
• 22:33
  Speaker 4: would give a handmade feel. About 35 hours later, and
• 22:38
  Speaker 4: a lot of physical pain, the signs are completed. She's
• 22:42
  Speaker 4: happy with them, and she's gushing over them when I
• 22:44
  Speaker 4: deliver them in person. The signs were completed, delivered, and
• 22:47
  Speaker 4: paid for, which was $ 200, including the canvases and paint,
• 22:51
  Speaker 4: with two months left until the wedding. The big day
• 22:54
  Speaker 4: comes and goes. I see photos from my coworker. The
• 22:57
  Speaker 4: signs looked beautiful, as did the whole day. Then about
• 23:01
  Speaker 4: six weeks.
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: Later, I get a message from the new bride saying,
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: stating she had noticed imperfections in the signs, some of
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: the letters being slightly uneven or bigger than others, and
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: she agreed it wasn't too noticeable, but others had apparently
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: commented on it, and she was requesting a partial refund
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: of $ 100.
• 23:20
  Speaker 6: Has anyone ever done that with you, Jonathan?
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 23:22
  Speaker 7: Oh, ask for a refund?
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: Or like a partial refund?
• 23:24
  Speaker 4: I actually knew where that card was the whole time,
• 23:27
  Speaker 4: so I'd.
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: Like a little bit of money back.
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: No, they haven't.
• 23:31
  Speaker 7: I think the closest that I've gotten is just circumstances.
• 23:36
  Speaker 7: For example, if their event canceled or something, they would
• 23:42
  Speaker 7: ask for a refund. But I think just as long
• 23:45
  Speaker 7: as I blew their mind, you know.
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's good. You're doing the magic good enough. No
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: one's asking for it.
• 23:50
  Speaker 7: Yeah, I do offer 100% money back guarantee. So, you know,
• 23:54
  Speaker 7: you know. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: Magic, you just do it and it's like a puff
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: of smoke and it's just back in your hands. Okay,
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: don't tell them the tricks, bro. They're like, that was
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: so impressive. You can actually just keep the money.
• 24:04
  Speaker 7: Yes.
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: That was.
• 24:06
  Speaker 7: No, I need the money. I do this for a living.
• 24:09
  Speaker 4: So I explained that to give her a refund meant
• 24:12
  Speaker 4: that I'd only be paid $ 30 for my work. $ 30
• 24:16
  Speaker 4: for 35 hours of work and physical pain. She had
• 24:21
  Speaker 4: two months to tell me she was unhappy, but didn't.
• 24:24
  Speaker 4: And that she herself loved the signs. I also reminded
• 24:28
  Speaker 4: her of our earlier communication. Because of the style of
• 24:31
  Speaker 4: the font she chose, it would not be perfect.
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: And she was made aware of this. So I denied
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: her refund. She blocked me. And I thought, hey, that's that.
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: Until a few days later.
• 24:41
  Speaker 4: When I received a notification from my bank and she
• 24:44
  Speaker 4: had requested a charge back.
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: What nerve.
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: Come on.
• 24:49
  Speaker 7: Wow.
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: Like, you think that's going to work?
• 24:52
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 24:52
  Speaker 4: You're not doing this to it like an Amazon purchase.
• 24:55
  Speaker 4: It's this is a she's got the receipts.
• 24:58
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: She got the proof.
• 25:00
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 25:00
  Speaker 4: OP says this was easily disputed with my screenshots of
• 25:04
  Speaker 4: our conversations and photos of the actual signs.
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: Her charge back was denied.
• 25:10
  Speaker 7: Hey, that's good.
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: Yes. We don't like people ripping off small.
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: What are you doing?
• 25:17
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 25:18
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 25:18
  Speaker 4: That coworker. Stopped speaking to me at work. I figured
• 25:22
  Speaker 4: that would happen anyway. It turns out this new bride
• 25:24
  Speaker 4: had requested partial refunds from every single vendor and service
• 25:29
  Speaker 4: received for her wedding.
• 25:31
  Speaker 7: Mm-hmm.
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: Uh-huh.
• 25:32
  Speaker 7: Mm-hmm. See? See what happens? That's rude.
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: That is rude.
• 25:36
  Speaker 7: That's rude.
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: The venue, the catering, the photographer, her hair, makeup artist,
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: the list goes on.
• 25:42
  Speaker 7: I mean.
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: Did she get it after? Yeah. It's like... Yeah. Look,
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: if your catering brings you the wrong food.
• 25:48
  Speaker 7: Go ahead, refund.
• 25:49
  Speaker 4: It doesn't take into consider allergies that we were previously
• 25:53
  Speaker 4: talking about.
• 25:53
  Speaker 6: Get the refund.
• 25:54
  Speaker 4: Your hairstylist messes up your hair and you've got to
• 25:58
  Speaker 4: chop it all off?
• 25:59
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: A big refund for that, I'd hope.
• 26:02
  Speaker 7: She had everything in writing, though.
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: Everything?
• 26:03
  Speaker 7: Yeah. They were just trying to say they knew ahead
• 26:07
  Speaker 7: of time. They definitely knew ahead of time that this
• 26:09
  Speaker 7: is what their griff was going to be.
• 26:11
  Speaker 9: Yeah.
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: They probably read this somewhere and they're like, oh, that's
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: a brilliant idea.
• 26:14
  Speaker 4: We'll defraud all the people who work for us.
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: So rude. All the people who worked hard to make
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: our day special.
• 26:21
  Speaker 7: Oh, destiny. Yes.
• 26:23
  Speaker 4: So she chose to leave her job and become a
• 26:26
  Speaker 4: full-time dog breeder, which was not working out. The majority
• 26:35
  Speaker 4: of her wedding was paid for by her credit card,
• 26:37
  Speaker 4: which now she's in debt fighting with her new husband
• 26:40
  Speaker 4: over her excessive spending.
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: Apparently, he had.
• 26:43
  Speaker 4: Given her full reign to do whatever she wanted as
• 26:45
  Speaker 4: long as she didn't bother him with organizing it.
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: Oh, that sounds like a good marriage. What a great start.
• 26:52
  Speaker 7: That story is coming together, though. Can't you see it?
• 26:55
  Speaker 7: I do.
• 26:55
  Speaker 5: I see it.
• 26:56
  Speaker 7: She's trying to backtrack. Her now husband didn't know her
• 27:02
  Speaker 7: spending habits. Now she's trying to fix it by ripping
• 27:05
  Speaker 7: off the vendors.
• 27:07
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 27:08
  Speaker 7: Oh, man. What a dishonest person.
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: You made your bed, Mr. Husband.
• 27:12
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: You went, do whatever you want. Just don't bother me.
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: And now he's like, you spent what? You spent what
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: on the wedding? Call him. Get your money back.
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: You weren't that good.
• 27:22
  Speaker 7: I know that guy. Yeah. Sounds familiar.
• 27:26
  Speaker 4: To go into debt over one day is ridiculous in
• 27:30
  Speaker 4: and of itself. But to try and scam the small
• 27:32
  Speaker 4: businesses and people doing you favors is another.
• 27:35
  Speaker 7: Clock it.
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: Absolutely. Get clocked. Get clocked. That's what the kids are
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: doing now.
• 27:41
  Speaker 7: Oh, am I cool now? Am I cool?
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: We're cool. Oh, we're cool.
• 27:44
  Speaker 7: Oh my gosh, I'm cool.
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: You've always been cool.
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: Where's my kids at?
• 27:47
  Speaker 7: They need to hear I'm cool.
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: In the purple suit.
• 27:49
  Speaker 7: Oh, thank you.
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: the next one. I let my kid ruin someone's theater
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: experience because she was being difficult.
• 27:59
  Speaker 8: Oh.
• 27:59
  Speaker 7: Oh.
• 28:00
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: My thoughts exactly.
• 28:02
  Speaker 4: My mom bought tickets to The Lion King on Broadway
• 28:06
  Speaker 4: for her, me, 38.
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: Female, and my five-year-old son.
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: Whew.
• 28:11
  Speaker 4: It was the matinee show, and I took off work
• 28:14
  Speaker 4: around lunchtime to meet them at the theater. My mom
• 28:16
  Speaker 4: had forgotten to feed my son, and he was starving.
• 28:20
  Speaker 4: The theater was filled with children and families, and to
• 28:23
  Speaker 4: my surprise, they were selling snacks, like crackers and candy,
• 28:26
  Speaker 4: along with Slurpees and other more adult beverages.
• 28:30
  Speaker 6: For a reasonable price, right?
• 28:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah. For $ 38, you can have one Ritz cracker.
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 28:37
  Speaker 6: I'm hungry.
• 28:38
  Speaker 4: It was too late to get anything before the show,
• 28:40
  Speaker 4: so I told my son to just hang in there.
• 28:43
  Speaker 4: Shortly after we sat down, a lady came in with
• 28:46
  Speaker 4: two tweens and sat in front of us. She kept
• 28:50
  Speaker 4: glancing sharply back at us, and I'm not sure why.
• 28:54
  Speaker 4: My son was talking excitedly, but at a normal volume,
• 28:57
  Speaker 4: not any louder than other people.
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: At one point, she spun around and asked, Is he
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: f * * * ing my seat?
• 29:04
  Speaker 6: Oh, no.
• 29:05
  Speaker 7: Is that a Karen I see here?
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: The sound.
• 29:08
  Speaker 7: The Karen.
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: It's another animal from the Lion King show. It's the
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: wild Karen. The shrill call.
• 29:16
  Speaker 4: He was sitting right next to me and he was
• 29:18
  Speaker 4: absolutely not. In her seat, though, he was swinging his
• 29:21
  Speaker 4: feet a bit. He was up on a booster seat
• 29:24
  Speaker 4: provided by the theater, and his little legs were not
• 29:26
  Speaker 4: even long enough to reach. I said no, and she
• 29:29
  Speaker 4: spun back around. I quietly told him to stop swinging
• 29:33
  Speaker 4: his legs, and he did. And by the way, this
• 29:36
  Speaker 4: comes from Alice The May, and if you want to
• 29:38
  Speaker 4: submit your own stories.
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: Go to our subreddit. I'm Dakota.
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: I'm Keon, and we have a very special guest returning back.
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: Can you go ahead and introduce yourself?
• 29:45
  Speaker 7: Yes, it's the man in the purple suit, Jonathan Mollo.
• 29:47
  Speaker 7: Thank you so much for having me again. I had
• 29:48
  Speaker 7: so much fun.
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: Thank you for being back. Thank you for coming back, Jonathan.
• 29:52
  Speaker 4: And well, let's see what OP says here. As the
• 29:55
  Speaker 4: show started, my son.
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: Was absolutely wrapped. When all the animals came down the aisle,
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: he gasped and said, Mommy, Mommy, look. Come on, dude.
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: That's adorable.
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: Come on.
• 30:07
  Speaker 6: That's adorable. No one can hate on that.
• 30:10
  Speaker 7: Just end the story there because my heart's happy.
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: The whimsy.
• 30:14
  Speaker 7: Oh, my gosh.
• 30:17
  Speaker 4: Later, when the monkey talks to the audience and asks
• 30:19
  Speaker 4: a question, he answered back. And he was not the
• 30:23
  Speaker 4: only kid to do so. Both times, this woman spun
• 30:29
  Speaker 4: around and looked at us with daggers in her eyes.
• 30:33
  Speaker 7: Get out of here, Karen. Get out of here.
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: Get out of here. I'd do like three stooges and
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: I'd go.
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: Oh, yes.
• 30:39
  Speaker 7: You should go.
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: And then I'd go to jail. Oh, that's okay.
• 30:43
  Speaker 7: It was worth it.
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: She would learn her lesson.
• 30:45
  Speaker 7: Yes.
• 30:45
  Speaker 6: Get out of here.
• 30:46
  Speaker 4: Anyway, he did not say anything else during the show.
• 30:49
  Speaker 4: But at intermission, he looked at me with big eyes
• 30:52
  Speaker 4: and said, I'm really hungry.
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 30:57
  Speaker 4: So I ran to the concession stand and I got
• 30:59
  Speaker 4: him a small bag of veggie straws. I would never,
• 31:04
  Speaker 4: ever in a million years have brought veggie straws into
• 31:06
  Speaker 4: a theater.
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: Because they are crazy. Crunchy. They make the noise.
• 31:10
  Speaker 4: But they were selling them along with other crunchy things.
• 31:13
  Speaker 4: So I thought, OK, this is just how they roll
• 31:15
  Speaker 4: at this matinee. I got back just in time for
• 31:18
  Speaker 4: the curtain. He started eating as the show resumed.
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: Crunchy, crunch, crunch.
• 31:23
  Speaker 4: And I could see the ladies shoulders twitch. There were rustling, crunching,
• 31:28
  Speaker 4: eating sounds coming from elsewhere as other people were also
• 31:31
  Speaker 4: consuming their snacks, but my son was right behind her. Normally,
• 31:36
  Speaker 4: I would have stopped him, even as hungry as he.
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: Was, but I did not.
• 31:41
  Speaker 4: He got through about three-fourths of the bag before she
• 31:43
  Speaker 4: cracked and turned around, huffing somewhat loudly.
• 31:47
  Speaker 9: Can you please keep him quiet?
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: This is a sacred space.
• 31:51
  Speaker 7: Sacred space?
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: Girl, it's a matinee.
• 31:54
  Speaker 7: Get out of here.
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: And I hissed back, Mind your business. Let's just mind
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: your own business.
• 31:59
  Speaker 7: Get it.
• 32:00
  Speaker 3: Do it.
• 32:00
  Speaker 4: Her comment and my response was the first time anybody
• 32:04
  Speaker 4: nearby had noticed anything was going on. A few people
• 32:07
  Speaker 4: sort of half turned around and then quickly turned back.
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: To the show.
• 32:09
  Speaker 4: My mom, who was on the other side of my son,
• 32:12
  Speaker 4: didn't notice anything. And my son was so into the
• 32:15
  Speaker 4: show that he was totally oblivious. I mean, he's also five.
• 32:19
  Speaker 7: Yeah. And that's a good thing that he didn't notice
• 32:21
  Speaker 7: somebody being not a very nice person.
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 32:23
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 32:24
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you never know when the complex might just start up.
• 32:26
  Speaker 4: It's like some uppity, huffy woman in the theater turns
• 32:30
  Speaker 4: around and says, don't do that. And then suddenly like, oh,
• 32:33
  Speaker 4: I'm going to be a chronic people pleaser for the
• 32:36
  Speaker 4: rest of my life.
• 32:37
  Speaker 7: No, you're not going to prove it to them. But
• 32:39
  Speaker 7: we just discussed this, the last story. Well, not last story,
• 32:42
  Speaker 7: but we discussed how people lose their whimsy.
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 32:46
  Speaker 7: That lady can't. Clearly lost her whimsy and along with
• 32:50
  Speaker 7: other things like her mind.
• 32:51
  Speaker 10: Yeah.
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: It's like, come on, I've got a starving five-year-old. He's
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: eating veggie straws. Come on.
• 32:56
  Speaker 7: She just hates life. I think she hates life.
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: A little bit. Yeah, they do.
• 33:00
  Speaker 4: He happily was crunching his way through the rest of
• 33:02
  Speaker 4: the bag while the lady continued to twitch. I was
• 33:05
  Speaker 4: prepared for a confrontation on the way out, but she
• 33:08
  Speaker 4: booked it out of there. I think she was scared
• 33:10
  Speaker 4: of me after I hissed back at her. In summary,
• 33:14
  Speaker 4: I let my kid ruin someone's theater experience because she
• 33:16
  Speaker 4: was rude.
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: Am I the a-hole?
• 33:18
  Speaker 7: No, you're not.
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: No, dude. She ruined her own theater experience. Come on.
• 33:24
  Speaker 7: She should have left earlier. Earlier than that. Get out
• 33:27
  Speaker 7: of here. If you're not happy, go. You have a
• 33:28
  Speaker 7: choice to either stay. or uh go just go.
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah very truly it seems like she was more hyper
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: fixated on the kid behind her than the actual show.
• 33:38
  Speaker 7: But doesn't that make it worse though like yeah you're
• 33:41
  Speaker 7: you're yeah what there's people like that that exists among
• 33:46
  Speaker 7: us you're.
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: Gonna put on the mental filter sometimes you're like this
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: is a sacred place don't let your child eat veggie
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: straws with an ear shot of me. And it's like, hey,
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: just shut up, dude.
• 33:56
  Speaker 7: Exactly.
• 33:56
  Speaker 3: Turn around, shut up.
• 33:57
  Speaker 7: Exactly.
• 33:58
  Speaker 5: Amen.
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: You look at the, what do I got? What, I
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: got 10 pounds of veggie straws he's going to chomp through?
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: It's a bag. Yeah. It's snacks. They sell it.
• 34:06
  Speaker 7: And kids can't eat through 10 pounds of veggie straws.
• 34:08
  Speaker 7: It's not possible.
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: I would sure hope not. I can't imagine. I mean,
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: it's healthier than other stuff, but my God.
• 34:16
  Speaker 7: No, no, no.
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: the next one.
• 34:21
  Speaker 3: Hey, this is Riley, the host that can't really read
• 34:23
  Speaker 3: that well. We're going to get back to the stories,
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: but here's three minutes worth of ads from our sponsors.
• 34:28
  Speaker 3: My fiance wants me to get circumcised.
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: Before our wedding.
• 34:33
  Speaker 5: What?
• 34:34
  Speaker 7: Stop.
• 34:36
  Speaker 3: We met in the summer of 2018 and got engaged
• 34:40
  Speaker 3: last year. Although our relationship is pretty solid, she can
• 34:44
  Speaker 3: be very hot-headed. For example, she gets upset when things
• 34:47
  Speaker 3: don't go her way and takes it as a personal insult.
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: It's definitely a princess syndrome that can be difficult to
• 34:55
  Speaker 3: deal with, but it's never caused serious issues.
• 35:00
  Speaker 7: Yet.
• 35:01
  Speaker 10: I can't.
• 35:02
  Speaker 3: A couple of months ago, she told me that I
• 35:04
  Speaker 3: will need to get circumcised before our wedding later this year.
• 35:10
  Speaker 5: I mean, what is what is the actual girl? You
• 35:15
  Speaker 5: better love your hat. You've had that hat for a minute.
• 35:18
  Speaker 9: So stop.
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: Stop this.
• 35:20
  Speaker 3: I said no. And she straight up told me that
• 35:24
  Speaker 3: it's not a choice.
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 35:26
  Speaker 10: His body, his choice.
• 35:28
  Speaker 5: We all know that.
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: I mean.
• 35:30
  Speaker 3: We argued for a bit and she said that I
• 35:32
  Speaker 3: would be attracted to her if she had an outie
• 35:35
  Speaker 3: vajayjay with extra skin hanging.
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: Her words, not mine.
• 35:39
  Speaker 3: So I told her that's not really the same thing
• 35:43
  Speaker 3: at all and that I'd be attracted to her regardless. However,
• 35:46
  Speaker 3: she got very irritated and ignored me for the rest
• 35:49
  Speaker 3: of the evening. She has not stopped talking about this
• 35:53
  Speaker 3: since that day. Every day she sends me articles talking
• 35:56
  Speaker 3: about the benefits of circumcism.
• 35:57
  Speaker 10: Are we?
• 35:58
  Speaker 3: And that it's totally healthy and safe and why I
• 36:01
  Speaker 3: should do it.
• 36:01
  Speaker 10: Why are you just bringing this up now is my question.
• 36:04
  Speaker 3: Because she about time not.
• 36:06
  Speaker 6: She saw the movie Alien and went, hmm.
• 36:09
  Speaker 5: No, this is not okay. I wonder how long have
• 36:12
  Speaker 5: they been together?
• 36:13
  Speaker 8: Did it say?
• 36:13
  Speaker 3: Am I saying the title?
• 36:15
  Speaker 6: I can check.
• 36:16
  Speaker 3: We might get more context though.
• 36:17
  Speaker 5: I'm just curious because it's like at what point or
• 36:20
  Speaker 5: like it's every time that they're intimate.
• 36:21
  Speaker 10: Is she like, dang, okay. I don't like this hood. Like,
• 36:24
  Speaker 10: that's craziness to me.
• 36:25
  Speaker 6: I like the engine. I don't like the hood.
• 36:27
  Speaker 5: I don't like the hood.
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 36:29
  Speaker 3: You just pull it down.
• 36:30
  Speaker 6: Sorry.
• 36:32
  Speaker 3: She says that civilized men get circumcised.
• 36:35
  Speaker 10: What about the Euros?
• 36:37
  Speaker 5: Listen, if you go to Europe, you're going to see
• 36:39
  Speaker 5: a hood or two.
• 36:40
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 36:40
  Speaker 6: Are you calling most of Europe uncivilized?
• 36:43
  Speaker 5: Facts.
• 36:44
  Speaker 3: Facts.
• 36:45
  Speaker 5: You're going to see a couple hoods over there.
• 36:47
  Speaker 3: She repeatedly said that she dislikes her ex and wants
• 36:51
  Speaker 3: me to be better than him.
• 36:52
  Speaker 6: Oh, so it's a comparison thing.
• 36:54
  Speaker 3: According to her, that includes getting a circumcism.
• 36:57
  Speaker 5: No, man.
• 36:58
  Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from throwaway00. And if you
• 37:01
  Speaker 3: want to speak on stories, you know exactly where to go.
• 37:05
  Speaker 3: I'm Riley.
• 37:05
  Speaker 6: I'm Keon.
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: And we have a returning guest.
• 37:08
  Speaker 6: Can you let them know who you are and what
• 37:10
  Speaker 6: you do?
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: What's up, guys?
• 37:11
  Speaker 5: I'm Drea Renee. I'm the host of the Hey Babe,
• 37:13
  Speaker 5: Can We Talk podcast. I'm a relationship expert. And if
• 37:15
  Speaker 5: you have any problems, let me know. You can find
• 37:18
  Speaker 5: me at Hey Babe, Can We Talk on every social.
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 37:21
  Speaker 3: And Keon and I are going to be goofy. But
• 37:23
  Speaker 3: Drea here is going to give us actual advice. Yes.
• 37:26
  Speaker 3: She's an expert. She knows what's happening.
• 37:28
  Speaker 5: But also goofy.
• 37:29
  Speaker 6: Yeah, she's goofy too. I mean, we've, yeah.
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: Don't get it twisted.
• 37:33
  Speaker 6: This is a story that I don't know.
• 37:36
  Speaker 3: Opie says, yesterday she brought it up again and I
• 37:39
  Speaker 3: said that she has no right to tell me what
• 37:42
  Speaker 3: to do with my body. She yelled that she spends
• 37:45
  Speaker 3: a lot of time and effort into her appearance and
• 37:47
  Speaker 3: isn't asking for much in return. While it's true, she
• 37:51
  Speaker 3: spends a lot of money on beauty, hair, facial treatments,
• 37:55
  Speaker 3: around $ 800 a month. I don't think you can compare
• 37:59
  Speaker 3: that to a circumcism. She got very upset, calling me
• 38:03
  Speaker 3: selfish and heartless. and basically told me to F off. Normally,
• 38:07
  Speaker 3: we would argue, she doesn't get that heated, but I
• 38:11
  Speaker 3: could hardly tolerate her attitude yesterday. Later that evening, we
• 38:15
  Speaker 3: had spicy sleep. Yes, I'm stupid. And in the middle
• 38:19
  Speaker 3: of it, she brought up the topic again. It felt
• 38:22
  Speaker 3: very manipulative. And when I told her it's not the
• 38:25
  Speaker 3: right time, she accused me of not loving her actually
• 38:28
  Speaker 3: and started crying. Since she rarely cries, this didn't seem genuine.
• 38:33
  Speaker 3: She got up and told me that we will get
• 38:35
  Speaker 3: this done either way and that I shouldn't let such
• 38:39
  Speaker 3: a small issue ruin what we have either way.
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 38:43
  Speaker 3: We'll get this done either way.
• 38:45
  Speaker 10: He needs to let her go.
• 38:47
  Speaker 3: He needs to, one, get rid of any sharp object
• 38:50
  Speaker 3: in his apartment.
• 38:52
  Speaker 5: Lorena Bobbitt.
• 38:53
  Speaker 3: And then, two, let her go.
• 38:56
  Speaker 5: This is non-negotiable to me. He needs to let her go, period.
• 39:00
  Speaker 5: This is done. I could never come back from this.
• 39:03
  Speaker 5: And the gaslighting this woman is doing is beyond. She's
• 39:05
  Speaker 5: a psychopath.
• 39:06
  Speaker 3: You know what the second red flag I saw was?
• 39:08
  Speaker 5: What?
• 39:09
  Speaker 3: You may have picked it up.
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: What?
• 39:10
  Speaker 3: The $ 800 products?
• 39:12
  Speaker 5: To be fair, Riley, depending on where they live, that's
• 39:15
  Speaker 5: not that much.
• 39:15
  Speaker 10: Do you know how much it is for a facial
• 39:17
  Speaker 10: in LA? Oh my God.
• 39:18
  Speaker 3: I just, to me, I wouldn't want to be with
• 39:21
  Speaker 3: someone that puts so much money into just their appearance.
• 39:25
  Speaker 3: Like I get like a couple hundred bucks a month,
• 39:27
  Speaker 3: but if it's like that much.
• 39:28
  Speaker 5: I mean, she's probably doing a lot. on the regular,
• 39:31
  Speaker 5: which I just feel like that right there in itself,
• 39:34
  Speaker 5: that type of woman, it's not a bad thing, but
• 39:36
  Speaker 5: it's like, girl, if you knew you didn't like a hood,
• 39:39
  Speaker 5: you probably knew that in the first few months of
• 39:40
  Speaker 5: being with him.
• 39:41
  Speaker 3: Also from my pocket. Okay.
• 39:43
  Speaker 7: It's 800.
• 39:43
  Speaker 3: Now you're young. It's going to creep into a thousand
• 39:46
  Speaker 3: pretty soon.
• 39:47
  Speaker 5: Easily.
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: I guess he's going to have to take care of that.
• 39:49
  Speaker 3: Imagine like a fifth or like a quarter of your
• 39:54
  Speaker 3: paycheck goes to just her face.
• 39:56
  Speaker 6: Some people do that.
• 39:57
  Speaker 5: Some people do it. And maybe she feels like he
• 39:59
  Speaker 5: needs that.
• 40:00
  Speaker 10: Maybe he wants that. I don't know what their nuances are.
• 40:03
  Speaker 6: That's her confidee boot, you know?
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 40:04
  Speaker 6: That's for her.
• 40:06
  Speaker 5: I don't know.
• 40:06
  Speaker 6: Like for us, we just need a new shirt and
• 40:08
  Speaker 6: new belt.
• 40:09
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 40:09
  Speaker 3: That is true. I do need a new belt.
• 40:11
  Speaker 5: Oh my God.
• 40:12
  Speaker 6: Yeah. Like a haircut.
• 40:13
  Speaker 10: But you don't need to be circumcised.
• 40:15
  Speaker 3: Thank you.
• 40:15
  Speaker 5: Yes. You're welcome.
• 40:17
  Speaker 3: To be honest, I sound anonymous.
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: Hey!
• 40:19
  Speaker 3: And I don't even know what to think of it.
• 40:21
  Speaker 3: Is this something we can work out at all? Throughout
• 40:24
  Speaker 3: our entire relationship, she never complained about my uncircumcised wiener.
• 40:29
  Speaker 3: And now it's such a big deal to her. It's
• 40:33
  Speaker 3: given me anxiety about our future. And I don't even
• 40:36
  Speaker 3: know what to do. We had so many discussions about it.
• 40:39
  Speaker 3: And it always ends the same way. We have some
• 40:43
  Speaker 3: comments and then an update one week later. Our expert, please.
• 40:48
  Speaker 3: What do we do here?
• 40:49
  Speaker 10: This is not even a discussion.
• 40:52
  Speaker 5: You need to leave this woman immediately because she doesn't
• 40:55
  Speaker 5: love you as you are. And this change up all
• 40:57
  Speaker 5: of a sudden that you are not circumcised and I
• 41:00
  Speaker 5: can't marry you. That is wild to me. It's his body.
• 41:03
  Speaker 5: He should be able to do whatever he wants and
• 41:04
  Speaker 5: making it where you have to do it. You don't
• 41:07
  Speaker 5: have a choice. Like, are you if this were the
• 41:09
  Speaker 5: other way around, the way that people will be coming
• 41:12
  Speaker 5: for this man would be beyond. Are you kidding me?
• 41:15
  Speaker 3: So we have some comments. Okay. Amon's 4-4 says, this
• 41:19
  Speaker 3: relationship sounds hellish. I can't imagine wanting to stay with
• 41:23
  Speaker 3: someone who makes such a demand. What are you doing?
• 41:27
  Speaker 3: And Opie says, I'll be honest. I don't know.
• 41:29
  Speaker 10: She must be hot.
• 41:30
  Speaker 6: Has to be.
• 41:31
  Speaker 10: She must be like a 10 out of 10.
• 41:33
  Speaker 5: But even still, you got to think about like the
• 41:35
  Speaker 5: entirety of your life.
• 41:37
  Speaker 10: People get so.
• 41:37
  Speaker 5: Stuck in these small moments and you got to think,
• 41:40
  Speaker 5: If this is the person you're going to life with,
• 41:42
  Speaker 5: that you're going to be with every single day, eating
• 41:44
  Speaker 5: all your meals with, sleeping in the bed with, and
• 41:46
  Speaker 5: this is what's running in the back of their minds, I,
• 41:49
  Speaker 5: for me, once that's out, I could never.
• 41:51
  Speaker 10: Let that go.
• 41:52
  Speaker 5: And it's your sex life. It's like, are you not
• 41:55
  Speaker 5: satisfied with what I'm doing or the appearance of my penis?
• 41:59
  Speaker 5: That's what we have boiled our relationship down to, the
• 42:02
  Speaker 5: hood of my penis, which you have known about. I
• 42:04
  Speaker 5: propose to you. Stop this. Yeah, that is wild.
• 42:06
  Speaker 7: This is ridiculous.
• 42:07
  Speaker 5: I'm sorry.
• 42:08
  Speaker 3: I just want to know where this came up from.
• 42:10
  Speaker 3: So more from OP in the comments. OP says that
• 42:12
  Speaker 3: that's what I don't understand. When we first had Spicy Sleep,
• 42:15
  Speaker 3: she didn't even comment on it. This came out of
• 42:17
  Speaker 3: nowhere and I don't understand why she didn't bring it
• 42:20
  Speaker 3: up earlier. And OP says, I asked her, but she
• 42:23
  Speaker 3: won't give me a reason. She just says that's her
• 42:26
  Speaker 3: preference and that she's discussed it with her friend.
• 42:30
  Speaker 6: Oh, is it a male friend?
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: Oh, God.
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: She's like, oh, that's what it feels like.
• 42:36
  Speaker 6: Maybe I like it like that.
• 42:37
  Speaker 3: Oh, my gosh.
• 42:38
  Speaker 5: I mean, I think the sensation is only different for them.
• 42:42
  Speaker 5: As far as what I know personally, I don't think
• 42:46
  Speaker 5: it makes any difference for us. Now, there's hygiene issues
• 42:49
  Speaker 5: where you do have to maybe take.
• 42:51
  Speaker 10: A little bit more care of it in its natural state.
• 42:54
  Speaker 7: Yep.
• 42:55
  Speaker 5: So there's that.
• 42:56
  Speaker 10: I'm like, are you a dirty man?
• 42:57
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 42:57
  Speaker 6: Not that dirty, I hope.
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: I mean.
• 43:00
  Speaker 7: Ugh.
• 43:00
  Speaker 5: I don't know. But this is such a weird conversation
• 43:03
  Speaker 5: to be talking about at the point of engagement.
• 43:05
  Speaker 3: So it doesn't.
• 43:06
  Speaker 5: This is wild.
• 43:07
  Speaker 3: It doesn't affect her.
• 43:09
  Speaker 5: No, it doesn't affect any. I mean, listen, I don't know.
• 43:12
  Speaker 5: That's my experience. I don't think it made any difference.
• 43:14
  Speaker 3: Update. One week later.
• 43:16
  Speaker 5: Okay.
• 43:16
  Speaker 3: I have received countless personal messages, all pretty much saying
• 43:20
  Speaker 3: the same thing. Yet I still wanted to work things
• 43:22
  Speaker 3: out and marry her. She must be really hot.
• 43:25
  Speaker 10: I need to see a photo of this lady.
• 43:27
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 43:28
  Speaker 6: We ask that all the time.
• 43:29
  Speaker 3: I need to see.
• 43:29
  Speaker 10: I need to see a photo.
• 43:30
  Speaker 3: I need to see a photo of her.
• 43:32
  Speaker 5: Who is she?
• 43:33
  Speaker 3: Her, him, and the. So we get.
• 43:35
  Speaker 6: No.
• 43:36
  Speaker 3: Good understanding.
• 43:37
  Speaker 10: I don't need to see that.
• 43:38
  Speaker 7: No. No.
• 43:39
  Speaker 5: Good.
• 43:40
  Speaker 3: Then a few days after my post, we had a
• 43:42
  Speaker 3: huge fight. She threatened me.
• 43:45
  Speaker 7: Again?
• 43:47
  Speaker 3: I won't give too many details, but it was more
• 43:50
  Speaker 3: than enough to give me a wake up call.
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: That was more than enough to give you a wake
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: up call?
• 43:54
  Speaker 6: I'm sorry.
• 43:54
  Speaker 2: Her going, you have no decision. You have to get circumcised.
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: Wasn't a big enough wake up call for you?
• 44:00
  Speaker 10: What are we doing here?
• 44:02
  Speaker 6: What's going on?
• 44:03
  Speaker 3: And that's when I finally realized that the relationship isn't
• 44:07
  Speaker 3: healthy or normal. I had those thoughts before, but Her
• 44:11
  Speaker 3: action that day confirmed it. Opie continues, right now, I'm
• 44:15
  Speaker 3: in the process of completely removing her from my life.
• 44:19
  Speaker 3: From wanting to marry her one day to this.
• 44:22
  Speaker 5: I'm so proud of him.
• 44:23
  Speaker 10: That's really hard to do.
• 44:24
  Speaker 5: That's really hard to do. And that's the right choice.
• 44:28
  Speaker 5: That is the right choice. She needs to go.
• 44:30
  Speaker 3: That incident had a significant impact on my mental health.
• 44:34
  Speaker 3: And at this point, I just needed a long break.
• 44:37
  Speaker 3: I've spoken to her parents in private, and they're almost
• 44:40
  Speaker 3: begging me to rethink the whole situation.
• 44:42
  Speaker 6: They know. They're like, no, take her, take her, take her.
• 44:44
  Speaker 5: Why are they telling him to rethink it then?
• 44:46
  Speaker 3: Because they told her that he needs to go through this,
• 44:50
  Speaker 3: and that they're the ones that actually said it to her.
• 44:52
  Speaker 3: I think that's what it is. I think her parents
• 44:54
  Speaker 3: are very rich, are very like, push, push, ho, ho, ho.
• 44:56
  Speaker 5: What do they care about?
• 44:58
  Speaker 3: It's about the heritage. It's about the legacy.
• 45:02
  Speaker 10: This is wild.
• 45:03
  Speaker 3: They asked me to rethink it. I said I won't.
• 45:06
  Speaker 3: I still love her, but couldn't do this anymore. It's
• 45:08
  Speaker 3: a shock to the system. I went from planning my
• 45:11
  Speaker 3: future with her to now actively cutting everything that connects
• 45:15
  Speaker 3: us off.
• 45:16
  Speaker 7: Well, not everything. Not everything.
• 45:18
  Speaker 3: I read through the comments again after this incident, and
• 45:21
  Speaker 3: they put things into perspective for me. Thank you all
• 45:23
  Speaker 3: for the advice and the personal messages. That's it.
• 45:27
  Speaker 10: Good for him. He made the right choice. I don't
• 45:29
  Speaker 10: think that's something you can live with.
• 45:30
  Speaker 5: If any guy asked me to modify myself in a
• 45:33
  Speaker 5: way where it was an ultimatum, I'm out of there.
• 45:37
  Speaker 5: I will never be able to get that thought out
• 45:39
  Speaker 5: of my head.
• 45:39
  Speaker 3: It's also along the lines of, we can't get married
• 45:43
  Speaker 3: unless you're Christian, unless you're pescatarian, unless you're XYZ. But
• 45:48
  Speaker 3: these are things you know at.
• 45:49
  Speaker 10: The beginning though, right? These are conversations you have early on.
• 45:51
  Speaker 5: So then you don't have to say things like this
• 45:54
  Speaker 5: once you're in love and you're engaged and the person's
• 45:56
  Speaker 5: proposed to you and you have your family and friends involved.
• 46:00
  Speaker 5: This is like, I mean, I don't know how many
• 46:01
  Speaker 5: dates it took for her to find out he had
• 46:03
  Speaker 5: a hood.
• 46:03
  Speaker 10: Do your thing.
• 46:04
  Speaker 5: But, you know, these are conversations that you have early on,
• 46:08
  Speaker 5: not at engagement. That is insane to me.
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: the next one.
• 46:14
  Speaker 3: My best friend's love life is perfect and I'm extremely
• 46:18
  Speaker 3: jealous of it.
• 46:19
  Speaker 8: What?
• 46:20
  Speaker 3: This comes from Rita Box. She says, just wondering, I'm
• 46:23
  Speaker 3: 36 female and still single. My last relationship was seven
• 46:27
  Speaker 3: years ago, and I've been trying really hard to find
• 46:31
  Speaker 3: someone else since then. So recently, one of my best friends,
• 46:35
  Speaker 3: 35 female, got engaged. Her fiance is literally a unicorn.
• 46:42
  Speaker 3: He's handsome as F, a neurosurgeon, went to Yale, and
• 46:46
  Speaker 3: treats her like she's the queen of England herself.
• 46:49
  Speaker 5: Damn, I'm jealous.
• 46:50
  Speaker 3: Neurosurgeon?
• 46:51
  Speaker 9: Yeah.
• 46:54
  Speaker 7: Dang.
• 46:54
  Speaker 3: Meanwhile, I'm scraping by to date guys without stable jobs
• 46:58
  Speaker 3: or homes who end up ghosting me always. I know
• 47:02
  Speaker 3: this makes me sound super bitter, but I can't help
• 47:05
  Speaker 3: but compare our lives. And sometimes these comparisons get to me.
• 47:09
  Speaker 3: We're college roommates and did everything together. But her romantic
• 47:13
  Speaker 3: life has been nothing but sunshine and rainbows compared to me.
• 47:18
  Speaker 3: When she first broke up with her college boyfriend, we
• 47:20
  Speaker 3: all warned her. that dating, especially in a big city
• 47:24
  Speaker 3: like New York City, would be a crap show because
• 47:27
  Speaker 3: no decent guy wanted to commit. Somehow, she was the
• 47:30
  Speaker 3: one woman in the city who couldn't shake off men,
• 47:33
  Speaker 3: even if she wanted to. I'm pretty sure she found
• 47:36
  Speaker 3: a long-term boyfriend like two weeks after moving to the city.
• 47:39
  Speaker 5: Two weeks?
• 47:41
  Speaker 3: She met her now fiance on Tinder, and they were exclusive.
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: After four days.
• 47:45
  Speaker 6: Are you deceased?
• 47:47
  Speaker 7: I'm deceased.
• 47:47
  Speaker 6: In the Big Apple? In New York City?
• 47:49
  Speaker 5: In New York City.
• 47:50
  Speaker 6: Hey, it happens.
• 47:51
  Speaker 5: Listen, her friend is, her feelings are becoming more valid
• 47:54
  Speaker 5: to me.
• 47:55
  Speaker 9: Every sense we read.
• 47:55
  Speaker 5: Every moment, it's like, I'm like, girl, I feel you.
• 47:58
  Speaker 3: She has literally never been rejected, ghosted, or strung along
• 48:01
  Speaker 3: by a man any time in her life.
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: What?
• 48:04
  Speaker 3: She told me herself. It honestly pisses me off in
• 48:06
  Speaker 3: a way. because I don't think she remotely understands or
• 48:10
  Speaker 3: appreciates how lucky she's been. It's giving pretty privilege.
• 48:14
  Speaker 9: It's giving pretty.
• 48:14
  Speaker 5: I was about to say, she must be hot.
• 48:17
  Speaker 3: It also makes me wonder if I'm defective or broken
• 48:20
  Speaker 3: in some way.
• 48:21
  Speaker 10: Oh, baby girl.
• 48:22
  Speaker 3: Even if logically, I know she's an extreme outlier in
• 48:26
  Speaker 3: the dating world. Anyone else have friends like this in
• 48:29
  Speaker 3: your life that you sort of have a love-hate as
• 48:32
  Speaker 3: a result of your own jealousy? She's one of my
• 48:35
  Speaker 3: closest friends, so I don't see myself ever cutting her out.
• 48:39
  Speaker 3: But hearing about her life still feels like daggers shooting
• 48:42
  Speaker 3: into my heart sometimes. Drea, how can you walk this
• 48:47
  Speaker 3: person through how to navigate this friendship?
• 48:49
  Speaker 5: Okay, first of all, I want to say she said,
• 48:52
  Speaker 5: I'm dating guys who don't have jobs, who are ghosting me,
• 48:55
  Speaker 5: who are doing all these things. It all starts with you.
• 48:58
  Speaker 5: You have to address the choices that you are making.
• 49:01
  Speaker 5: Your friend did get very lucky, and I understand the
• 49:03
  Speaker 5: feelings that would come up for someone. sort of navigating dating,
• 49:06
  Speaker 5: especially today when most people don't want to commit, they're
• 49:09
  Speaker 5: ghosting you. You got to play games and do all
• 49:11
  Speaker 5: these things. And it takes way more than four dates
• 49:14
  Speaker 5: to get a guy to commit these days. So I
• 49:16
  Speaker 5: understand the feelings, but you got to look at yourself,
• 49:19
  Speaker 5: look at the places that you're going to. What choices
• 49:21
  Speaker 5: are you making? How can you better yourself? Yeah.
• 49:23
  Speaker 3: The places you're going to, I think, is huge.
• 49:25
  Speaker 10: Yes, it matters.
• 49:26
  Speaker 5: It matters. And if anybody's giving you any sort of
• 49:28
  Speaker 5: red flag where they're making you feel confused, there's no clarity,
• 49:32
  Speaker 5: get out of there. And girl, ask him if he
• 49:34
  Speaker 5: got any friends.
• 49:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 49:36
  Speaker 7: Right?
• 49:37
  Speaker 3: I do believe. Right now, I've been doing comedy for
• 49:39
  Speaker 3: the past like four months and like going to open mics,
• 49:41
  Speaker 3: meeting new people. I don't know, a lot of awesome
• 49:43
  Speaker 3: people through that. Or like they invite me to things.
• 49:46
  Speaker 3: I go to them and it's like a cool interactive thing.
• 49:48
  Speaker 3: And plus, if you're in a big city like that,
• 49:50
  Speaker 3: what are you doing in your free time?
• 49:52
  Speaker 9: Who are you around?
• 49:53
  Speaker 3: I think, I don't think the apps work anymore. Do
• 49:55
  Speaker 3: you think the apps work anymore?
• 49:56
  Speaker 10: I don't think the apps work anymore.
• 49:57
  Speaker 5: I think people are now slowly going back to real life.
• 50:01
  Speaker 5: People are still very scared to go talk to people,
• 50:03
  Speaker 5: but that's becoming more and more like go do events
• 50:06
  Speaker 5: of things that you like. There's a lot of events
• 50:08
  Speaker 5: now where you don't even have to drink. Daytime events
• 50:10
  Speaker 5: where they're doing day raves with like coffee and cold
• 50:12
  Speaker 5: plunges and all these things. So there's many opportunities to
• 50:15
  Speaker 5: go and meet new people where you aren't just at
• 50:17
  Speaker 5: home scrolling on an app. But I do have some
• 50:20
  Speaker 5: girlfriends who are still adverse to going out and they
• 50:23
  Speaker 5: think apps are the only way. They're not bad, but
• 50:25
  Speaker 5: I do think that people are starting to see that
• 50:28
  Speaker 5: there's just so many options that people are drowning in.
• 50:30
  Speaker 5: And messages, and they aren't really trying to actually connect.
• 50:33
  Speaker 3: And would you say that people have an opportunistic mindset
• 50:39
  Speaker 3: when it comes to dating, that there's always a better
• 50:41
  Speaker 3: option out there?
• 50:42
  Speaker 5: That's what I feel social media and online apps have
• 50:46
  Speaker 5: created in the minds of everyone, that the grass is
• 50:48
  Speaker 5: always greener somewhere else. And then your tolerance for misbehavior, anything,
• 50:52
  Speaker 5: even something really small, everyone's like, no, I'm done. I'm
• 50:55
  Speaker 5: not talking.
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: Block him, babe.
• 50:56
  Speaker 5: Move on.
• 50:57
  Speaker 10: And you're just like, wait a second.
• 50:58
  Speaker 5: There was a situation that my friend was telling me about.
• 51:01
  Speaker 5: The guy confirmed the date the day before. He's like,
• 51:04
  Speaker 5: I'm really looking forward to tomorrow, you know, whatever. But
• 51:06
  Speaker 5: he didn't confirm on the day. He just said, I'll
• 51:09
  Speaker 5: see you tomorrow at seven. And so he just shows
• 51:12
  Speaker 5: up on the date at seven. Well, she didn't go
• 51:14
  Speaker 5: because he didn't confirm that morning again. And just things
• 51:17
  Speaker 5: like this. I'm like, girl, but he did confirm. And
• 51:20
  Speaker 5: she's like, yeah, but he didn't say it today. And
• 51:22
  Speaker 5: I'm like, so then he's there. It's 730.
• 51:23
  Speaker 10: He's going, where are you?
• 51:25
  Speaker 5: And she's like, I'm at home. And I'm like, just
• 51:27
  Speaker 5: stuff like that. And I'm thinking to myself, babe, if
• 51:29
  Speaker 5: you weren't sure, why didn't you just text him?
• 51:32
  Speaker 10: God forbid. Just say, oh, I'm just clarifying.
• 51:34
  Speaker 5: But just little things like that.
• 51:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: It's ridiculous.
• 51:38
  Speaker 3: I was scrolling through TikTok the other day and they
• 51:41
  Speaker 3: were saying apps shouldn't be a thing because back, you know,
• 51:44
  Speaker 3: 50 years ago, apps weren't a thing. You're supposed to
• 51:47
  Speaker 3: meet people through everyday life, not because of like, This
• 51:50
  Speaker 3: social media platform where you can meet anyone and have
• 51:52
  Speaker 3: opportunities at that. It's like, yeah, that makes a lot
• 51:55
  Speaker 3: more sense.
• 51:55
  Speaker 5: All you had was your neighborhood or maybe like your
• 51:58
  Speaker 5: supermarket area.
• 51:59
  Speaker 10: The vicinity was very small.
• 52:01
  Speaker 3: The events you go to.
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 52:02
  Speaker 3: The churches you go to. The groups you're around. Schools, work.
• 52:07
  Speaker 5: But now you can match with somebody in Spain. Like, hola,
• 52:10
  Speaker 5: como esta?
• 52:11
  Speaker 3: You can. You can. Look at that.
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: the next one.
• 52:16
  Speaker 3: I feel like the guy I'm dating is obsessed with me.
• 52:19
  Speaker 10: What's the problem?
• 52:21
  Speaker 3: I recently started dating a guy I've known for 10 years.
• 52:24
  Speaker 3: We're both 27. Back then, he always liked me, but
• 52:28
  Speaker 3: I didn't feel the same. We stayed friends. He later
• 52:31
  Speaker 3: had a long relationship that eventually ended. And after reconnecting,
• 52:35
  Speaker 3: we slowly started talking again. and decided to give dating
• 52:39
  Speaker 3: a try. We've been officially dating for about a month
• 52:42
  Speaker 3: and a half, and the connection has been genuinely been
• 52:46
  Speaker 3: really good.
• 52:47
  Speaker 10: What is the problem here?
• 52:49
  Speaker 5: This is wild. You guys, he likes me.
• 52:52
  Speaker 2: Ew.
• 52:53
  Speaker 9: Something's wrong.
• 52:56
  Speaker 5: I'm so grossed out.
• 52:58
  Speaker 7: He likes me.
• 53:00
  Speaker 3: At first, his affection felt sweet and flattering. But lately,
• 53:04
  Speaker 3: I've started noticing patterns that are making me feel uncomfortable.
• 53:09
  Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from MediolicBabe25. And if you're
• 53:13
  Speaker 3: listening to your own stories, you know where to go.
• 53:15
  Speaker 1: I'm Riley. I'm Drea.
• 53:17
  Speaker 9: I'm Sophia. And Drea, could you introduce yourself for any newcomers?
• 53:21
  Speaker 10: Hey, guys.
• 53:21
  Speaker 5: I'm Drea Renee, host of the Hey, Babe, Can We
• 53:23
  Speaker 5: Talk podcast. I'm a relationship expert. So if you have
• 53:25
  Speaker 5: any problems, come my way.
• 53:27
  Speaker 3: That's right. It's a super fun podcast. You learn a lot.
• 53:30
  Speaker 5: Check it out.
• 53:31
  Speaker 3: And she's going to help us read these stories goofily.
• 53:33
  Speaker 3: And she's an expert. So Opie says, he wants to
• 53:36
  Speaker 3: see me constantly and struggles when I ask for space.
• 53:40
  Speaker 3: If we don't find a way to see each other
• 53:42
  Speaker 3: every day, he gets upset. For examples, two days ago,
• 53:46
  Speaker 3: I had a fall and my back and arm were
• 53:48
  Speaker 3: hurting really badly. So I told him I couldn't go
• 53:51
  Speaker 3: over to his place. Instead of understanding, he kept insisting
• 53:55
  Speaker 3: and offering different ways for us to still see each other.
• 53:58
  Speaker 3: I explained, that we had just seen each other the
• 54:01
  Speaker 3: night before, and that we could meet another day because
• 54:05
  Speaker 3: I really wasn't feeling well and wanted to rest. He
• 54:08
  Speaker 3: continued to push, and I end up crying because I
• 54:11
  Speaker 3: felt overwhelmed like nothing I ever do is enough and
• 54:15
  Speaker 3: that I have to be available 24-7. He eventually showed
• 54:20
  Speaker 3: up at my house anyways because he needed to see me,
• 54:24
  Speaker 3: which made me feel like my boundaries weren't being respected.
• 54:27
  Speaker 3: We did talk about it afterwards. And he said he
• 54:30
  Speaker 3: would try to respect my space and work on it.
• 54:35
  Speaker 5: Okay, now that we got a little more context.
• 54:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you see the problem now?
• 54:39
  Speaker 5: I see the problem now. But you know what's so funny?
• 54:41
  Speaker 4: What?
• 54:42
  Speaker 5: Old Drea, unhealed Drea would have been like, oh my God,
• 54:44
  Speaker 5: I love that he showed up. Because I was a show-upper.
• 54:47
  Speaker 5: I've so shown up.
• 54:48
  Speaker 3: Oh my God.
• 54:49
  Speaker 5: I've done it.
• 54:49
  Speaker 9: You told us this story last time.
• 54:51
  Speaker 5: I've done it. I've done it. And the thing is,
• 54:54
  Speaker 5: I understand him. Because there's something in you that's like,
• 54:56
  Speaker 5: I need to go find this person.
• 54:58
  Speaker 3: You make sure they're okay. They just fell.
• 55:00
  Speaker 5: Maybe they need me.
• 55:01
  Speaker 10: I don't know.
• 55:02
  Speaker 5: And, you know, I understand that feeling because I used
• 55:05
  Speaker 5: to think enmeshment was the answer. I understand now the
• 55:08
  Speaker 5: value of missing someone, independence, having your own life.
• 55:12
  Speaker 7: But, Audrey?
• 55:13
  Speaker 5: I'm on you like white on rice.
• 55:14
  Speaker 10: Like I'm not going nowhere.
• 55:16
  Speaker 7: Okay.
• 55:16
  Speaker 5: I'm like, where are we going? Who's texting us? I
• 55:19
  Speaker 5: was that girl. But you know what? You know what?
• 55:22
  Speaker 10: I own it.
• 55:22
  Speaker 7: I own it.
• 55:24
  Speaker 5: I'm healed now. And you know, I really, it was
• 55:27
  Speaker 5: so wild. I just thought like every moment should be
• 55:29
  Speaker 5: spent together.
• 55:30
  Speaker 1: I really did.
• 55:30
  Speaker 10: Oh, that's sweet.
• 55:32
  Speaker 5: I did, but it was like if somebody needed to
• 55:34
  Speaker 5: do something else, I was like, wow.
• 55:36
  Speaker 3: Without me? Really?
• 55:37
  Speaker 5: Like, this is crazy.
• 55:39
  Speaker 3: So you hate me?
• 55:40
  Speaker 5: So I was that girl. But now it's like I
• 55:43
  Speaker 5: value him. I'm like, I got stuff to do, which
• 55:45
  Speaker 5: I never used to say. I didn't even want him
• 55:47
  Speaker 5: to go to work. I was like, hey, I'm outside.
• 55:50
  Speaker 8: Wow.
• 55:51
  Speaker 10: I know.
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: He was hot, though. Dang.
• 55:54
  Speaker 3: He's also already told me he loves me and frequently
• 55:57
  Speaker 3: talks about wanting a future in and alive together, saying
• 56:00
  Speaker 3: he doesn't see himself with anyone else. While that may
• 56:04
  Speaker 3: sound romantic, it feels very intense for such a short time.
• 56:09
  Speaker 3: Because they've only been together for a month and a half.
• 56:11
  Speaker 5: But they've known each other for 10 years.
• 56:12
  Speaker 3: It's true. So, I'm giving him some slack.
• 56:17
  Speaker 9: He's been in love with you for 10 years.
• 56:20
  Speaker 3: I recently gave him a simple ring as a thoughtful gift.
• 56:24
  Speaker 3: He likes wearing them. And he put it on a
• 56:26
  Speaker 3: necklace saying he wanted me with him all the time
• 56:31
  Speaker 3: and that anything I give him is extremely important to him,
• 56:34
  Speaker 3: which already started to feel more overwhelming than comforting. The
• 56:39
  Speaker 3: hardest part is that when I try to express how
• 56:42
  Speaker 3: I feel, he becomes sad or frustrated, which makes me
• 56:46
  Speaker 3: feel like I can't communicate openly without hurting him. If
• 56:50
  Speaker 3: I'm being completely honest, I've started to feel scared, not
• 56:54
  Speaker 3: because he's been violent, but because his attachment feels excessive
• 56:58
  Speaker 3: and I don't feel emotionally safe addressing it. He admits
• 57:02
  Speaker 3: he might get a little obsessive, but says it's only
• 57:05
  Speaker 3: because he loves me so much and doesn't want to
• 57:08
  Speaker 3: mess this up. The self-sabotage stage. Yeah, that's what it
• 57:13
  Speaker 3: feels like.
• 57:15
  Speaker 5: This ultimately has nothing to do with her. That's the
• 57:17
  Speaker 5: biggest lesson about this obsession and this thing, this void
• 57:21
  Speaker 5: that you need to fill. This isn't about her. This
• 57:23
  Speaker 5: is something that he's seeking for himself, that he cannot
• 57:26
  Speaker 5: give himself. A higher power can't give him. His family
• 57:29
  Speaker 5: can't give him. This is something that he's using her
• 57:31
  Speaker 5: to fill. So she's there and it is an attachment thing,
• 57:34
  Speaker 5: but it's not really about her.
• 57:36
  Speaker 10: It's its own self.
• 57:37
  Speaker 8: I feel like sometimes people who are obsessed with their partner,
• 57:40
  Speaker 8: especially after this short of time, in a couple months,
• 57:43
  Speaker 8: they're like, oh, I'm actually not that interested.
• 57:45
  Speaker 5: And if she took that attention and was like, oh,
• 57:47
  Speaker 5: my God, I want you, I want you, he'd be like, ugh.
• 57:51
  Speaker 5: Because he doesn't really believe that he's worth it. So
• 57:54
  Speaker 5: what she's doing is reinforcing the beliefs that he doesn't.
• 57:57
  Speaker 5: actually has about himself. She's kind of like, hey, I
• 57:59
  Speaker 5: need to, and he's like, oh, I gotta give, I
• 58:02
  Speaker 5: gotta go chase, chase, chase. But if she turned around
• 58:04
  Speaker 5: and was like, oh, okay, he'd be very confused. Yeah,
• 58:07
  Speaker 5: he wouldn't react the same.
• 58:09
  Speaker 3: Opie says, I really care about him, but I'm also
• 58:12
  Speaker 3: trying to listen to my instincts and protect my peace.
• 58:16
  Speaker 3: That's your most important thing you have is your gut.
• 58:19
  Speaker 3: I'm unsure if I'm overthinking or if these are genuine
• 58:22
  Speaker 3: red flags that I shouldn't ignore. Has anyone experienced something similar?
• 58:27
  Speaker 3: How did you handle it? Any advice or perspective would
• 58:30
  Speaker 3: mean a lot. We have an update. Drea, how do
• 58:34
  Speaker 3: you handle this?
• 58:35
  Speaker 5: Honestly, how you handle this is you call my exes
• 58:37
  Speaker 5: and you ask them what they did.
• 58:41
  Speaker 3: There's a common theme.
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: With those exes. There's a common theme.
• 58:43
  Speaker 5: You know what I mean? Poor guys. I have to
• 58:45
  Speaker 5: make some amends.
• 58:46
  Speaker 3: Anyway.
• 58:47
  Speaker 5: I think in this situation, if the red flags are there,
• 58:49
  Speaker 5: especially this early on, sort of like the other story
• 58:51
  Speaker 5: we told, like you have to take action now because
• 58:54
  Speaker 5: what ends up happening is that you continue doing this thing,
• 58:57
  Speaker 5: hoping this person will change. And this dynamic that you
• 59:00
  Speaker 5: see now will be the dynamic. And once she turns
• 59:02
  Speaker 5: around and starts loving him back, everything will shift.
• 59:06
  Speaker 3: I guarantee it.
• 59:07
  Speaker 5: So if she is not interested in this dynamic and
• 59:09
  Speaker 5: it doesn't sound like she is, she needs to end
• 59:11
  Speaker 5: the relationship because this obsession with her and everything she's doing,
• 59:15
  Speaker 5: like it's only going to get worse.
• 59:17
  Speaker 1: So update.
• 59:18
  Speaker 7: Hi, everyone.
• 59:19
  Speaker 3: I just want to thank you so much for everyone
• 59:21
  Speaker 3: who took time to read, comment and share their thoughts.
• 59:24
  Speaker 3: I truly appreciate the support and different perspectives. I'd like
• 59:28
  Speaker 3: to address a few things that came up in the comments.
• 59:31
  Speaker 3: Therapy slash help. I've spoken to him about seeking professional
• 59:34
  Speaker 3: help before. I've personally been in therapy for over a year,
• 59:38
  Speaker 3: working on myself to become the best version I can be.
• 59:40
  Speaker 3: Knowing some of his unresolved personal issues, I've encouraged him
• 59:45
  Speaker 3: to do the same. While he agrees verbally, saying things like,
• 59:49
  Speaker 3: I should probably do that. I haven't really seen much
• 59:52
  Speaker 3: effort towards him actually doing it. Yeah.
• 59:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 59:55
  Speaker 5: I mean, I'm like, no, there needs to be some
• 59:57
  Speaker 5: real movement because the same mind that created the problem
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 5: isn't going to be the same mind that gets you out.
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 10: That's just my opinion.
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 5: I think you need to have some outside source of
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 5: some kind to kind of get you moving. Maybe you
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 5: go join a men's group or go talk to someone.
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 5: But you deciding to stay in the situation as it
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 5: is and you're just going to figure it out, that's
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 5: not how that works because you would have figured it
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 5: out already.
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 10: Yeah.
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 5: You would know. But he's going to need some consequences
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 5: to kind of show him that this behavior is not okay.
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 5: But right now he does not know that because he
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 5: still has the girl and he will say whatever he
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 5: needs to so he can keep doing the things.
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 7: That he's doing.
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 3: To preserve the relationship.
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 5: And everybody, it's a pendulum. Everybody can go, yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 5: I'm going to change. I'm going to do this. And
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 5: then it stops and you're like, hey, I'm outside.
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 7: And that's it. So.
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 3: Wanting space doesn't mean lack of interest. Some comments suggested
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 3: that I don't really seem ready for a serious relationship
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 3: because I don't want to spend every moment together.
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 9: What?
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 10: Those people need to call me immediately. Hey, babe, can
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 10: we talk?
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 5: Call me.
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 3: I respect different viewpoints, but I truly believe that even
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 3: in a serious relationship, personal space is healthy and necessary.
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 3: Needing time for yourself doesn't mean you care any less
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 3: for the other person. I wasn't refusing to see him.
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 3: I was physically unwell and needed rest, especially since we
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 3: had seen each other the night before. Despite that, he
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 3: still showed up at my house, which felt like a
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 3: boundary was crossed. His past relationship, I won't go into detail,
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 3: but I will say that there were unresolved issues that
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 3: I believe are now reflecting into our relationship, especially since
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 3: he hasn't Process them with professional help. He also hasn't
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 3: always spoken well of his ex. And while I don't
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 3: personally know her, I only know his side of the story.
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 3: And I believe there are always two sides of a
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 3: story or maybe three.
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 10: You don't you don't do that.
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 5: That's one of the things I watch for very early
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 5: on in dating. Someone talks about their ex. especially if
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 5: they throw out the C word really quickly. She's crazy.
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 5: I'm like, stop this. Don't do this.
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 3: Okay. I don't know her.
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 10: I don't need to know her.
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 5: But if they go right into negativity, like there's constructive
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 5: things you could say. I've had people be like, you know,
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 5: we just didn't work out and we were just different people.
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 9: I love that.
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 5: But when you go right into detail, talking about somebody
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 5: that's crazy and this and that, I'm like, no, because
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 5: you don't talk about me like that. Absolutely.
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 3: After reading some of your comments and reflecting deeply, I've
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 3: decided to take a step back and create some space.
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 3: I spoke to him last night about how his behavior
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 3: was making me feel. He has become emotional, saying he
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 3: didn't want to lose me, and that he truly believed
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 3: he was doing things right. We have gone out. We
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 3: have stayed together. He has given me details and gifts
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 3: that I appreciate with all my heart, but just some
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 3: of his actions are just a lot. While he admitted
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 3: he can be intense and said he would try to
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 3: work on it, some of his reactions, is it really
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 3: that bad? Or I guess we won't see each other then?
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 3: Still made me feel like my need for space wasn't
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 3: fully understood. Opie has some more. She's saying, I feel
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 3: that way sometimes. And she's like, I got to sew.
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, you don't want to see me? You
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 3: don't want to hang out with me?
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 10: You know what that is, though?
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 5: I feel like we all have these inner childs that
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 5: just need to be coddled all the time.
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 5: You know?
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 10: And you just want to be with your person.
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 5: Like, if it's good, it's healthy, there's just this thing
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 5: where you want to be with them all the time.
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 5: And it's such a beautiful thing. But not being able
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 5: to contain those boundaries and be like, okay. She's her
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 5: own person. I'm my own person. And for the betterment
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 5: of your entire relationship, you do need space. I hated
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 5: the S word, like low key. It still makes me cringe.
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 5: I'm like, ew, space. But I understand the benefits of
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 5: it because you do need to miss someone.
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 1: A little bit.
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 5: You need a little bit of like, I don't know
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 5: what they're doing or maybe they're not available. And even
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 5: if we don't think that we do, you actually do.
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 10: Because if somebody's.
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 5: Just available all the time, that stuff is boring. You're like,
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 5: don't you got something to do?
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah. You know?
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 3: I do agree with that.
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 5: It's true because it's like, oh my God, Riley, what
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 5: are you doing?
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 10: Okay, I'm available.
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 5: You might be like, girl, back up. I'm telling you.
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 3: So we've talked about these things before, and he has
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 3: mentioned he feels very attracted to me, and whenever we're
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 3: not together, he does feel like he misses me a lot.
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 3: He always ends up saying he needs to work on
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 3: these things because he knows it's not necessarily something healthy.
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 3: For now, I'm taking time to process... I care about
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 3: him and like him a lot, but I'm also scared
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 3: of behavior that feels excessive and unfamiliar to me. I've
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 3: done everything in my power to show up for him,
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 3: make time for him, be there for him. So I
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 3: don't believe asking for space is something unreasonable. I feel
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 3: it's a normal and healthy thing to do. Thank you
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 3: for the kindness and honesty and concern. It helped me
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 3: more than you'll ever know. Smiley face.
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 7: Question.
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 10: Yes.
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 7: For both of you ladies. Okay. That's me? Yep.
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 3: You're with a man like this. It's a month and
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 3: a half in. He just got out of a long-term relationship.
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 3: Would you hit up the ex?
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 4: No.
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 3: You wouldn't?
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 10: No.
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 3: Why not?
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 5: I don't think it's a situation that you need to
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 5: hit up the ex for.
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 7: Okay.
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 5: I mean, he's being a little obsessive, but he's not
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 5: like doing anything crazy where I'd be like, yo, what
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 5: is going on here?
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 10: So no, I don't think I would hit up the ex.
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 3: No, I don't feel like that. His ex?
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 4: No.
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 5: No?
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 2: No.
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 4: No.
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 8: If I don't like someone, I just don't like them.
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 8: Or if I'm having problems with them, those are my problems.
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 5: Could you imagine you hit up the ex and she's like,
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 5: he wasn't like.
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 10: That with me.
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 7: Yeah, you're like, I'm sorry, girl.
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 1: I got to go.
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 5: Wrong number.
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 5: Okay, this is a thought that you have. You think
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 5: you'd hit up the ex-boyfriend and be like, yo, is
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 5: she crazy with you too?
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 3: I have seen scenarios where girls will cross-reference things with exes.
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 5: This is not one of those situations.
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 8: I don't think.
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 3: Okay. Like someone get a, Hey, girly text or woman
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 3: to woman. Yeah.
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 3: And I'm always like, where did that come from? Yeah.
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 3: Or if you're at a place where you are at
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 3: that point, why are you together?
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 5: Cheating is usually when those things come up. There's infidelity,
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 5: there's affairs, there's like missed calls, connections, things. And you
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 5: start being like, is he with so-and-so? Then you're reaching
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 5: out possibly.
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 9: After a month and a half, I feel it's almost
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 9: too much effort.
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 5: Yes. A month and a half, just let it go. Yeah.
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 9: I'm like, okay, bye.
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 10: Like you, this is, you need to move on.
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 10: Yeah, that's what I think.
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 5: I don't think you call anybody's exes at that point.
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 5: That just seemed a little bit, that's overkill.
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 2: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 2: the next one. Hey, it's Keon, your host with the
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 2: cakes here. We're going to get back to the stories,
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 2: but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 3: My boyfriend joked about dating my friend, and I've been
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 3: uneasy ever since. Oh, no.
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 10: My 29 female boyfriend, 29.
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 3: Male, and I have been together for almost a year.
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 3: I have a work friend, 21 female, who I've been
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 3: close friends with for a good seven months or so.
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 3: They text a lot, and I'm unsure of whether I
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 3: should be worried. Work-related things, Drea.
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 5: Girl, stop this. I wish you would text my man.
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 5: Where's the group chat?
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 1: Where's the group chat?
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 3: See, OP works with her, so the boyfriend needs to
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 3: talk work-related things with her co-worker.
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 10: I don't care.
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 5: Anything you got to say to him, you got to
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 5: say to us, girl.
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 2: No!
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 5: A separate chat with my man? I don't think so.
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 5: That's a hard no for me.
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 9: It's not even his work friend. It's her work friend.
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 4: Period!
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 3: See, they're still talking work things. How is she doing
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 3: at work? Is she doing a good job at work?
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 1: You checking up on me?
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 5: Ask me.
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 10: I'm your girlfriend.
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 3: I need a cross reference.
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 9: Is she still at work?
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 1: Can I come over?
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly.
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 5: Period. No, this is wild.
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 3: I'm pissed. My boyfriend is the kind of guy who
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 3: is super friendly with absolutely everyone.
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 10: Ooh, I'm hot.
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 3: Nicest guy you'll ever meet. Basically, the golden retriever of people.
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 3: He does a lot of public speaking for work and...
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 3: He's just a generally agreeable person to be around. He
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 3: has absolutely zero relationship experience aside from me, which I
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 3: don't understand because he's so sweet, funny, educated, basically everything
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 3: I could want in a man.
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 10: I don't care.
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 5: Then take a course.
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 10: Let me help you out.
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 5: This is really bad relationship etiquette. No way.
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that is kind of.
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 5: I'm sorry. No, what are y'all talking about?
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 10: Are y'all sending memes to each other? That's when I
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 10: get real mad.
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 3: I have been cheated on a few times in my life.
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 3: The most recent time being not long before I met him.
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 3: I don't know whether I'm the kind of girl who
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 3: gets cheated on or if I'm just paranoid. But either way,
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 3: I've learned not to disregard feelings of suspicion. By the way,
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 3: this comes from Butter Croissant Roll. And if you want
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 3: to see my own story, you know where to go.
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 3: I'm Riley.
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 5: Treya.
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 9: I'm Sophia. Andrea, could you introduce yourself?
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 5: I'm Butter Croissant Roll as well.
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 7: I love a croissant.
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 5: I'm Drea Renee, host of the Hey Babe Can We
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 5: Talk podcast. If you need relationship advice.
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 1: Come check it out.
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 3: Yes, she's our expert today. She's going to read the
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 3: story goofily with us and give us some real advice.
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 3: As Opie says, my boyfriend and I are long distance
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 3: right now due to work. He's coming back to visit
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 3: soon and he'll be back permanently in a couple of months.
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 3: And at that point, we want to live together.
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 5: Okay, Riley, stop this. So not only are you texting
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 5: somebody that I work with, we not even in the
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 5: same vicinity on a regular?
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 3: Well, you can keep an eye on her and you
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 3: know he's gone. So that might help.
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 5: This is so wrong.
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 3: Would you rather him date his coworker or your coworker?
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 10: Wow, Riley.
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 5: I would rather him not die.
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 5: This is crazy. What are y'all talking about? How did
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 5: you get his number?
• 1:09:52
  Speaker 9: That's what I'm wondering.
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 8: How did he get her? Unless she made a typo.
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 8: How did he get her coworker's number?
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 1: Seriously.
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 3: He's a friendly guy. He's educated. He probably had something
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 3: to share with her.
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 5: In the group chat.
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 1: In the group?
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 5: Why are we doing side chats? This is getting me heated.
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 3: Oh, wait.
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 9: No, you got to keep going. You got to keep going.
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 7: Okay, okay, okay.
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 3: Okay, explain. So, we text almost constantly and talk on
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 3: the phone regularly. We met up as often as we can,
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 3: but due to the distance and money, it's not often.
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 3: I flew out west to meet his family a little
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 3: over a month ago. I introduced my boyfriend and friend
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 3: while he was still living here. They got along right
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 3: away and they have some common interests. and get references
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 3: that I don't. They got inside jokes.
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 5: See, this is.
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 3: Oh, I had them both over for video games, and
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 3: their back and forth made me uneasy, but I chalked
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 3: it up to my own past experiences and issues with jealousy. Heck,
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 3: I got jealous when he high-fived a female co-worker a
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 3: few many times while playing games at a work party,
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 3: so I'm not exactly the best judge of what to
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 3: look out for. I acknowledge this flaw in my own judgment,
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 3: and that's why I'm asking here.
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 10: Trust your gut, girl.
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 3: But still, when he asked me for her number so
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 3: she could help him with my Christmas gift, I was hesitant.
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 3: Christmas gift.
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 1: Lies.
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 5: Lies.
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 8: Lies.
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 3: Something in my gut said not to, but I didn't
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 3: want to think I was untrusting, so I gave it
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 3: to him. He got me something I already had, and
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 3: if she had simply looked around my apartment for two seconds,
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 3: she would have seen that. She comes over often. Yeah.
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 3: It's probably like an air fryer. He's like, should I
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 3: get her an air fryer or not?
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 5: She's like, yeah, I'll get it for her, and so
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 5: it's going down.
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 3: She didn't have one.
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 10: Yeah.
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 3: You can't ignore an air fryer.
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 5: No, this is terrible. Listen to your gut, girl.
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 3: But now they text a weird amount. Not daily, I think,
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 3: but sometimes she'll text him about something that happened with
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 3: me and she'll tell me she's doing it and shows
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 3: me the text. Okay, she's showing him to you, though.
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 10: I don't give a, you can delete messages.
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 7: Okay.
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 10: But the fact that y'all keep Keon without me, you.
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 5: Telling my man stories that like, if I, you imagine
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 5: you go to tell him something and he's like, oh yeah,
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 5: so and so said that I, cause that's the thing.
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 5: And you're like, I'm sorry.
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 8: What?
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 5: Or if something happens in his day and she's the
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 5: first point of contact.
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 3: Like when I have a blonde moment at work or
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 3: she beats me at a game or she wants him
• 1:12:33
  Speaker 3: to settle a dispute. It seems like it's always stuff
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 3: to make fun of me or make me look bad.
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 3: She also said a few times that he's a really
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 3: such a good boyfriend, such a sweet guy, etc. When
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 3: I talk about him, she's also 21.
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 5: Listen, I didn't want to do the age thing, but
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 5: since you brought it up.
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 10: Yeah, he's almost 30.
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 3: I think you can do the age thing like with
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 3: anyone under 25 because it's that how much experience in
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 3: life have they had?
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 3: Like, did they just come out of college?
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 7: I feel like.
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 10: Like, what are we doing here?
• 1:13:03
  Speaker 3: At that age, before 25, they just come out of college.
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 3: They're actually into adulthood and they're doing things that are
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 3: related to school events. Like, oh, this is such a college,
• 1:13:11
  Speaker 3: high school thing.
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 10: I'm sorry. This is so wrong on so many levels.
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, right. Today we went bowling and she beat me
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 3: pretty badly. She texted him the score and said, teach
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 3: your girl how to bowl.
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 10: So she want to fight. So she want to fight.
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 10: That's what this is at. This is what she's saying.
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 9: About to throw a bull.
• 1:13:30
  Speaker 3: At her head.
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 5: Girl. No, ma'am.
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 10: Why are you telling my man stuff that I can
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 10: tell him?
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 5: I don't need you texting him.
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 3: This turned into her texting him through the whole game
• 1:13:42
  Speaker 3: and calling to talk to both of us on the
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 3: drive home. He actually called her phone first because I
• 1:13:50
  Speaker 3: would be driving and we've lost Drea. She is no
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 3: longer in the room with us right now.
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 5: I'm deceased.
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 3: She went to go find this girl.
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 5: I'm deceased.
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 9: He called her first?
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 1: He called her first?
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 3: Well, it's because Opie was driving and texting and calling
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 3: or calling and driving is dangerous.
• 1:14:06
  Speaker 5: I don't give a damn if I was in the ambulance.
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 5: You call me.
• 1:14:09
  Speaker 10: Are you?
• 1:14:09
  Speaker 1: What is going on?
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 5: Oh, my God.
• 1:14:12
  Speaker 3: Oh, man.
• 1:14:12
  Speaker 1: This is wild.
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 3: As if he doesn't call me while I'm driving all
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 3: the time. During the call, she took my side on
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 3: something and he joked, that he was breaking up with me,
• 1:14:23
  Speaker 3: something we both do often over absolutely innocuous things. And
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 3: it isn't an issue on its own. But then he
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 3: joked that he would break up with both of us.
• 1:14:35
  Speaker 3: He would dump me, date her, then dump her. It
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 3: bothered me.
• 1:14:40
  Speaker 10: So you in a sister wife situation and she don't
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 10: even know it.
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 7: Okay.
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 3: Here's my thought real quick. Is this what's the worst
• 1:14:47
  Speaker 3: type of first degree or third degree?
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 10: I think it's first. Yeah, I think it's first.
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 3: Is this third degree comment or first degree comment? Like,
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 3: has he been thinking about this comment for a little
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 3: bit or just in the moment?
• 1:14:59
  Speaker 10: No, this is giving first degree.
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 5: If you're texting with another female this regularly and you
• 1:15:04
  Speaker 5: know that we're friends, of course, he's thinking about possibilities
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 5: of things. He's planting seeds. This is a situation where
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 5: it's like, oh, yeah, my my ex-boyfriend's not dating my friend.
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 10: And I should have known because they were texting the
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 10: whole time. And how can you trust.
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 5: That it's fully platonic? I think it's really difficult to
• 1:15:21
  Speaker 5: maintain that. And the energy you're giving my man. Girl,
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 5: where's your man at?
• 1:15:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Like, Sophia and I, we're like brother and sister
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 3: at this point. We don't keep up with each other
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 3: like this. If something crazy happens, she's going to put
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 3: in two group chats, and then that's how I'm going
• 1:15:33
  Speaker 3: to hear about it.
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 10: Group mother effing chat.
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 10: Like, that's it.
• 1:15:37
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 9: Riley and I will text, but it's not like.
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 10: You're not kiki-ing like that.
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 1: No.
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 7: No.
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 5: You know?
• 1:15:45
  Speaker 3: Unless it's like prank related. And it's like, dude, I
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 3: cannot wait to see this person's face.
• 1:15:49
  Speaker 1: But also, you.
• 1:15:50
  Speaker 10: Guys work together.
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 5: It's sort of a different thing, you know? This situation
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 5: is just really strange to me.
• 1:15:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it is strange on so many levels.
• 1:15:58
  Speaker 5: And she has a gut instinct. Listen to it, girl.
• 1:16:01
  Speaker 3: I'm telling you. Oh, cherry on top. She jumped in
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 3: immediately saying that she would call him a creeper for
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 3: going after someone so much younger.
• 1:16:12
  Speaker 1: Stop it.
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 3: The conversation changed subjects from there, but she kept texting
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 3: him while I was driving.
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 10: Oh, baby doll.
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 1: The car's crashing.
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 3: And I'm jumping out of it. 100%. When I dropped
• 1:16:28
  Speaker 3: her off, I kept talking to him, and we stayed
• 1:16:31
  Speaker 3: up for a while to talk. I was sleepy and
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 3: feeling vulnerable, and I asked him if he was interested
• 1:16:36
  Speaker 3: in her. He said he wasn't at all, and he
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 3: loved me, and that the age gap was too gross
• 1:16:42
  Speaker 3: to even think about it.
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 1: That's why?
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 10: Wow.
• 1:16:47
  Speaker 5: I mean, this is giving all the signals of a
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 5: cheating affair is about to happen.
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 1: 100%.
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 10: He's like, babe, she's like 21. You're like, that's not
• 1:16:55
  Speaker 10: what you're supposed to say.
• 1:16:56
  Speaker 3: And it's just words. It should have just ended at
• 1:16:58
  Speaker 3: that point. That he wasn't at all and that he
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 3: loved me.
• 1:17:01
  Speaker 10: That's it.
• 1:17:03
  Speaker 5: Because he's thought about it. He's had some feelings about
• 1:17:05
  Speaker 5: it and thought about it.
• 1:17:06
  Speaker 3: But if she was around my age... You know what?
• 1:17:08
  Speaker 10: We maybe have a different story.
• 1:17:09
  Speaker 3: He was reassuring and didn't get defensive. He understands that
• 1:17:13
  Speaker 3: that kind of thing has happened to me before and
• 1:17:16
  Speaker 3: why I would be on my guard. He said something
• 1:17:19
  Speaker 3: about brains wanting to tell us our worst fears.
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 5: Shut up.
• 1:17:25
  Speaker 3: Honestly, there's nothing either of them could say to me
• 1:17:28
  Speaker 3: that would make me feel reassured. I've been down that
• 1:17:30
  Speaker 3: road before. I need to know one way or another
• 1:17:33
  Speaker 3: if anything is going on, even if it's one-sided on
• 1:17:37
  Speaker 3: either of their parts. I've been up all night thinking
• 1:17:40
  Speaker 3: about it. I'm afraid that when he visits that they'll
• 1:17:43
  Speaker 3: hang out alone while I'm at work and I'll look
• 1:17:45
  Speaker 3: bat crap insane if I tell them I'm not comfortable
• 1:17:48
  Speaker 3: with it.
• 1:17:49
  Speaker 7: You're valid, girl. You're valid.
• 1:17:51
  Speaker 5: At this point, though, it's giving idiot. It's giving, what
• 1:17:53
  Speaker 5: are you doing? It's giving, girl, why are we even,
• 1:17:56
  Speaker 5: this isn't even a discussion.
• 1:17:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, like, why, you said something slightly to him about this.
• 1:18:01
  Speaker 3: Why are you not laying it out to him? Like, hey,
• 1:18:05
  Speaker 3: I don't like what you're doing with this girl. I
• 1:18:07
  Speaker 3: don't understand why you're doing it.
• 1:18:09
  Speaker 5: This is so beyond the Christmas gift, right? Like, and
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 5: that's wild to me that that's how it started. And
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 5: she's like, yeah, here you go.
• 1:18:16
  Speaker 10: Like, no, this is such a bad idea.
• 1:18:18
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 3: With my girlfriend, she said, whenever we hung out for
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 3: the first time, she said, I'm doing a fashion show.
• 1:18:24
  Speaker 3: In May, it was like February when we met. I
• 1:18:26
  Speaker 3: was like, oh, let me get your number so I
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 3: know where to.
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 7: Get the tickets.
• 1:18:29
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 1:18:29
  Speaker 1: It's like something like that. It's not about the tickets.
• 1:18:31
  Speaker 3: It's about getting her contact.
• 1:18:33
  Speaker 10: It's about getting her contact.
• 1:18:34
  Speaker 5: And any opportunity for you to have your own separate moments, giggles, laughs.
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 5: Let me tell you something.
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 10: You will not be joking about anything with my man
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 10: that I don't know about. We don't all be.
• 1:18:45
  Speaker 5: Yeah, me too.
• 1:18:47
  Speaker 1: OK.
• 1:18:49
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:18:49
  Speaker 3: So Opie says short of counting, which worked in the past. What?
• 1:18:55
  Speaker 3: I'm not sure how I can find out if there
• 1:18:58
  Speaker 3: are any feelings or activities there without seeming crazy. I'm
• 1:19:02
  Speaker 3: thinking of telling my boyfriend that I'm not comfortable with
• 1:19:05
  Speaker 3: their friendship, but I don't know. How well he'll take
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 3: that if he's being honest. I don't want to drive
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 3: them away. But every time I shut my eyes, I
• 1:19:13
  Speaker 3: see them together in front of me, flaunting a new
• 1:19:15
  Speaker 3: relationship right in front of my face. What do I do?
• 1:19:18
  Speaker 3: Is there an update?
• 1:19:19
  Speaker 7: No.
• 1:19:19
  Speaker 3: Fun fact. There's not?
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 1: I checked.
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 3: Thank you for checking.
• 1:19:22
  Speaker 9: It's five years ago.
• 1:19:23
  Speaker 3: Dang it.
• 1:19:24
  Speaker 10: If you were at the point of counting, which I've
• 1:19:27
  Speaker 10: never even heard.
• 1:19:28
  Speaker 9: That is wild. Yeah.
• 1:19:29
  Speaker 10: If you were there, girl, just throw it in the
• 1:19:31
  Speaker 10: la basura, in the trash.
• 1:19:33
  Speaker 1: It's garbage. Like, go away.
• 1:19:35
  Speaker 5: Like who wants to stress themselves out like that? You
• 1:19:38
  Speaker 5: trying to choke hold a relationship and a man, let
• 1:19:41
  Speaker 5: it go. Because if you have to think about the
• 1:19:44
  Speaker 5: fact that your man's maybe having to make a choice,
• 1:19:46
  Speaker 5: the choice isn't me.
• 1:19:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:19:48
  Speaker 5: Like I don't even want any part of it.
• 1:19:49
  Speaker 9: Exactly.
• 1:19:50
  Speaker 5: I don't want any part of you having to decide.
• 1:19:53
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 1:19:53
  Speaker 3: And what does that say about yourself?
• 1:19:55
  Speaker 5: Exactly.
• 1:19:56
  Speaker 3: It says that, oh, I'm less than this person. I
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 3: am on some sort of ranking board with my partner.
• 1:20:02
  Speaker 5: And with a girl. And how old is she?
• 1:20:03
  Speaker 3: 27.
• 1:20:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:20:04
  Speaker 7: No. Boyfriend 27. No.
• 1:20:04
  Speaker 3: I thought he was 29.
• 1:20:08
  Speaker 4: I can look.
• 1:20:09
  Speaker 5: I think he's 29. The girl's 21. And maybe she's 27.
• 1:20:12
  Speaker 5: Somebody's 29.
• 1:20:13
  Speaker 7: 29, 29.
• 1:20:13
  Speaker 3: They're both 29. They're both 30.
• 1:20:16
  Speaker 1: No.
• 1:20:17
  Speaker 7: And she's 21.
• 1:20:17
  Speaker 5: Oh, my God. And listen, let me tell you, as
• 1:20:20
  Speaker 5: a woman, and you get older, and you're hitting 30,
• 1:20:23
  Speaker 5: and these little pop tarts who are 20-something. I call
• 1:20:26
  Speaker 5: anybody under 25 as a pop tart. It's like you
• 1:20:28
  Speaker 5: start thinking about all this stuff. And especially living in LA,
• 1:20:32
  Speaker 5: you see all these women all the time. And it
• 1:20:34
  Speaker 5: just starts to feel overwhelming a little bit. Like, you
• 1:20:36
  Speaker 5: can be confident in yourself.
• 1:20:37
  Speaker 10: You can be confident in yourself. you know, self-worth, all
• 1:20:39
  Speaker 10: the things.
• 1:20:40
  Speaker 5: And that's great. But like my man is texting with
• 1:20:43
  Speaker 5: a 21 year old. Just tap me out.
• 1:20:46
  Speaker 1: I want nothing to do with it.
• 1:20:48
  Speaker 10: I'm out.
• 1:20:48
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story.