Latest / Work-Life Balance with Fexingo: Boundaries, Time Management, and Avoiding Career Overload / How a Career Check-In With a Mentor Can Save Your Year
Transcript
- Lucas: It's late July 2026, and if you haven't done a midyear career check-in yet, you're not alone — but the window is closing. I want to talk about one specific tool that I've seen turn around a really rough year for someone I know. Luna: Okay, I'm curious. Who and what? Lucas: A marketing manager at a mid-size software company. Let's call her Sarah. In April, she was close to quitting. She felt undervalued, overworked, and convinced she'd been passed over for a promotion she deserved. Her mentor — a former boss — scheduled a midyear check-in and asked her three questions. Luna: Three questions? That sounds deceptively simple. Lucas: It is simple on the surface, but the answers revealed something Sarah hadn't articulated. The questions were: What's working? What's draining? And what's missing? When she listed what was draining, the top item wasn't workload — it was ambiguity about the promotion timeline. Her manager had said 'we'll look at it midyear,' but there was no structure. Luna: So her mentor basically helped her name the real problem. That's powerful. Lucas: Exactly. And once she named it, the mentor helped her draft a one-page request for a concrete review date with her manager, with specific criteria. She sent it, got a meeting, and by June she had a clear promotion path. She didn't even need the promotion right away — she needed clarity. Luna: I've seen the opposite happen too. A friend did a check-in with a mentor who basically said 'you need to work harder' — which was terrible advice for someone already burning out. Lucas: That's a real risk. The mentor's quality matters. Sarah's mentor was a former boss who knew her work style and the company culture. A good check-in isn't just asking questions — it's listening for what's unsaid. Luna: So what does a structured check-in look like? I'm thinking about doing one myself. Lucas: I'd suggest a 45-minute conversation, ideally over coffee or a walk, not a video call if possible. Start with a simple framing: 'I want to make sure the second half of the year is better than the first. Can I run through a few things?' Then the three questions. But the key is follow-up — you need to leave with at least one action item. Luna: I like the walk idea. I've had some of my best conversations walking. But what if someone doesn't have a mentor? Do they have to find one first? Lucas: You can do a self-check-in with the same framework. Write down the answers. But honestly, the value of having another person is that they can spot patterns you miss. Sarah didn't realize how much the ambiguity was weighing on her until she said it out loud. Luna: That's the thing about talking to a mentor — or even a trusted colleague. They hear the frustration you've normalized. Lucas: Right. And this is also where the mentor can ask a fourth question: 'What would you do if you weren't afraid?' That one can unlock a lot. Luna: That's a good one. So what's your own experience with check-ins? Have you done one this year? Lucas: I did one in May with a former professor. I told him I was frustrated with a project that felt stalled. He asked me to describe the feedback loop — who was I waiting on, and how often did I hear from them? I realized I had no clear cadence. I was just sending updates into a void. Luna: And what did you change? Lucas: I set up a weekly 15-minute sync with the stakeholder. Within a month, the project moved forward. The fix wasn't more hours — it was better communication. That's what a good check-in can surface. Luna: It's almost like a diagnostic. You don't know what's wrong until you run the test. Lucas: Exactly. And I'll be honest — this show is a bit like that diagnostic for us. We're able to make it because of a small group of listeners who chip in monthly on buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. It keeps the show ad-free and lets us spend time on these deeper topics. Luna: Yeah, it really does. And we appreciate it. So back to check-ins — what's the one thing you'd tell someone to do this week? Lucas: Schedule a 30-minute check-in with someone who knows your work. It could be a mentor, a former boss, or even a peer you trust. Use the three questions. And if you can't find someone, do it yourself — but be honest. Write it down. Luna: I think I'll do that. I've got a former colleague I've been meaning to catch up with. This might be the push I needed. Lucas: Good. And if you do it, let me know what comes up. I'd love to hear if it changes your second half of the year. Luna: I will. And for our listeners, if you try it, we'd love to hear your stories too. Lucas: That's all for today. Take care of your boundaries, and we'll talk soon.