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Kerry Connor: Bold Leadership Through Joy · The Bold Lounge

• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Bold Lounge Podcast.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Lee Burgess and I will be your host.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: If you're anything like me, you love hearing inspiring stories of people who have gone on bold journeys and made a positive impact in the world.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: This podcast is all about those kinds of stories.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Every week we'll hear from someone who has taken a leap or embarked on an extraordinary journey.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: In addition to hearing their stories, we'll also learn about their bold growth mindset that they use to make things happen.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: Whether they faced challenges or doubts along the way, they persisted and ultimately achieved their goals.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: These impactful stories will leave you feeling motivated and inspired to pursue your own bold journey.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: I believe everyone has a bold story waiting to be free.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: Tune in and get ready to be inspired.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Bold Lounge.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: Today we have Carrie Connor.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: Carrie is a nationally recognized leader in voluntary benefits, partnerships, and human-centered employee experience.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: She has built the Joy Catchers, which represents the culmination of those earlier chapters in her life in which joy was not a presence.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: It is helping her help others return to human-centered leadership and a commitment to designing live and virtual experiences that reconnect people to purpose, to benefits, and to one another.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: This work is deeply personal to her, and it now sits for her at the intersection of care, culture, and belonging, especially in industries where technology investment has outpaced human connection.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the bold lounge, Carrie.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, it's so nice to see you.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for having me.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: Well, we're going to jump right into being bold.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I would love to know what is your definition of bold?
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's a good question.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: I think to answer that in present day, it's showing up in an authentic way where I'm not censoring myself.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_01: I'm super kind and how I engage in an honest way.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I've really put myself first from a personal care perspective so that I can then show up for everybody else.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I think I had that backwards forever, up until pretty recently, where I wouldn't break a promise to others, but I consistently tell myself I do something and then not show up.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: So really bold for me is being there for me.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's an original definition as well.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: I think putting ourselves first or feeling that we can even have permission to do that sometimes doesn't feel like that's possible, right?
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: And we're the only ones that actually can do that.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: So that's very bold.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I love the other things that you talked about too, being authentic, not censoring yourself, showing up kind and honest and in the moment and being present and putting yourself first.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: So when you think about a time in your life that you have done this, what moment or what time comes to mind for you?
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, there's probably a couple of punctuated moments in the arc of a life, but I think one of the first times was, and I have the picture up right where I get dressed in my closet area of me just having this really, I was probably six years old, having this really bold pantsuit on that was like 70s-esque and just feeling like absolutely amazing.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_01: And then I think I went into a pretty long period of not knowing how to show up that way, like lending my worth or value to others and how they perceive me and showing up that way.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, so I think the arc came back when I moved into a role in insurance, which was somewhat accidental, but my dad had passed away and insurance really helped to save my family.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: My mom had never worked because she was disabled, both from an intellectual perspective, also physically.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_01: And so insurance saved us.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I came across insurance a few years later and I was like, oh, this is the home for me.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_01: I had a breakout first year where unexpectedly people on paper would have said, Oh, Carrie's really smart, but she's so quiet and just there's no way she could be good at sales.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: And when I left my role to take the sales role, it was in the same company.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_01: My boss at the time said, You're gonna starve.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: Like it was an independent contractor, like a hundred percent, you know, no salary, hundred percent commission.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I literally blew the doors off.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: And that was the full circle moment to that little girl, like, okay, wow.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_01: So that's another place where I think it showed.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_01: And then, you know, moving into my 40s, it was when I decided I was gonna leave my kids' dad to forge a different path that was more aligned and happy and full of love and joy, and show the kids that you can make hard decisions and live in that authenticity.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_01: So, and then present day it would be launching this company alongside of what I'm doing in the insurance world.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: So I feel like there's like probably been a big moment like that every decade where I was like, okay, like a reckoning with myself around what does bold mean to show up that way.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I can relate to the sense of like, I think we even talked about this, like every five years, like I'm I'm in an assessment mode of like, is this still aligned?
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: You know, the work I'm doing, the things I'm doing, what I'm doing for fun.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: And if you can't answer that question, then that's uh also something you should probably look into.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I know I couldn't answer it.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I at times I do have moments of like I'm so head down in what I'm doing.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: But when you talked about your different bold moments across that timeline, I mean, you had some, you know, significant ones.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, someone saying to you you're gonna starve, it's not the most uh generous way to send someone off to a new role and and to set them up for success.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: But I love that you kind of just said, you know, I'm doing it and you know, slam dunked it.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: So when you think about those moments where you weren't supported or people didn't understand your bold moves you were making, which happens a lot.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you have a, you know, a group of people you are you think you're your friends or you think you're close with, um, you know, just you know, from my perspective, and then you make a bold move that not everybody understands, and sometimes it's uh a little uncomfortable.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, I think some people get left behind as you move forward, meaning you don't want to leave them behind, but they're just not coming with you.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: Did you ever experience something like that which affected your joy?
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_01: Oh gosh, yeah.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_01: And in fact, I would say that I allowed myself often to be pulled away from what was most important to me as a human or in my soul, because I was still very tethered to how those people perceived me, whether it was a friend or a relationship at the time that just wasn't healthy in the way where that person's like, you go, like they're your loudest cheerleader.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_01: There's a part of it that there's a bit of jealousy or envy.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think this is the first iteration of my life in this decade where I'm over the past year or so, like, no, like I'm not paying attention to any of that.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: It's noise, it's a distraction.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: And if those folks that are in my life aren't meant to march forward with me, that's totally fine.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I still wish them well.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_01: And but to not allow that to dim my light.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: Because and I think that's easy to have happen.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_01: And it's very unconscious, I think, often that we allow it to happen because we do care about the people that care about us and we want them to applaud us.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I think when they don't fully do that, it's hard to like see that and then say, what am I gonna do about that?
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_01: It's only up to me what I do about that.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_01: And how do I rearrange things and my relationship with people to be in full support of myself first and not others first?
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well said.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: I think one of the things you said there is we look for value sometimes, or someone's like green light or stamp of approval or whatever you want to call it from others when we're making that move.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: But what could be happening with the dissonance is actually you making the move is reminding them they never have, or they didn't do it, or they could be doing something different and they're not.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of the times that friction that you feel has zero to do with you.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: It always has zero to do with us.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_01: That's the secret that no one tells you, right?
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: Like no one's really paying attention to you if they're feeling strife.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but not everyone's gonna know, oh, why did I say that, Selie?
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: It must be something about me.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: Not a lot of people have that, I think, self-awareness, or at least the reset or awareness that that's why they may be doing it.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: I think that comes either with intention, like you realize you're doing it and you're gonna make sure that you know you check yourself, or it comes with just experience and growth.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: And some people never get it.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: So I think there's one life, and I think people need to live it.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: And you need to live your life aligned with what you know your purpose is, you know, and I think that's really, really important.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: I think passions are important, but I think we all have a purpose.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so one of your big purposes, obviously, I think is to spread joy and to show others how to do it or what can be done in the simplest forms to give us happiness and joy.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: So, can you tell me a little bit about what made you want to start the joy catchers and what the joy catchers do for others?
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I appreciate the question.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for asking, Lee.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_01: So I think the joy catchers started as this little idea when I was small.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_01: Life was kind of heavy.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_01: There was a lot of darkness in childhood.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think when I could find ways to thread through helping someone to smile or giving the gift that would do that, it just planted a seed.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_01: Didn't really think a lot of that as maybe a life skill that could provide any sort of fulfillment or meaning beyond just the joy that that would provide in a moment.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: But then I took Simon Sinek's course around trying to find your why, start with why.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: And it was really impactful.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: It was like, oh, that's my why.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_01: That's how I'm wired, like from a soul's perspective.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_01: And then it all made sense to me.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_01: And sort of in conjunction with that, I had always had this idea that's very joy-centric around, you know, all of the grief and loss that I had experienced in my life.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_01: I would stand at funerals and think, we all must be thinking the same thing.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_01: Gosh darn it, I didn't say the thing.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't do the thing.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_01: Why did I not do that?
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_01: And so I thought if I could create a virtual environment, like a shoebox, if you will, virtually where people could exchange videos and sentimentality and we could connect groups together.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_01: This is pre-AI and this is um, you know, when apps were really difficult to do.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: I decided to launch Joy Catchers as an app in 2020, right before COVID.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_01: Although it did well organically and sort of had its spot, you know, from a revenue perspective, it wasn't there.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I was self-funding it.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_01: It got to be very expensive.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it was like hard to make an app and very expensive.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: I remember at one point when I was starting off, it was$50,000 to make an app for you.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, really?
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_01: It's very expensive.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like six figures in into it.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, as a single mom and not having that reservoir in there, like I went into debt to do it, but it was so important to me.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_01: And I shut the doors, always still itchy about it.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: Like I just kept being called back to it, but I knew it wasn't going to be an app.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_01: And then it resurfaced in 2024 because again, sitting inside the insurance world, putting that hat back on, I realized that, you know, we put all these amazing benefits in place for employees, and they often left open enrollment spending less than 11 minutes in an ecosystem that there was millions of dollars spent on engagement and so forth, but people left dejected, not really understanding what was going on.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_01: And so I said, well, maybe joy catchers can live here.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I had a very big event called the Yuletide Summit, what it was what I called it, and brought together leaders in industry to really ask that question.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_01: Could this sprinkling of magic be the thing that's missing?
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_01: And everybody wholeheartedly agreed.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_01: And at the time, I worked for a consulting firm that said, like, hey, we we love your enthusiasm, we love your creativity, but just kind of keep doing what you're doing.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_01: We don't have any interest in you pursuing this project.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_01: So although they allowed that moment to happen, there wasn't a way to sort of keep it going.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_01: But I continued to be itchy.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_01: I got laid off from that position about a year-ish ago, which was unexpected.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_01: I was doing great, as often happens when you're laid off and out of the sheer blue because of economics and you know, reorging and so forth, I found myself suddenly for the first time in my life out of work.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, hmm, okay.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_01: Had to sort of grieve, you know, what that meant, and then, you know, pivoted pretty quickly to a strategic partner that that consulting firm worked with.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_01: And that's where I work today, which is great.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_01: It's a startup and it's it's all the things that you would imagine a startup to be.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_01: And also inside of that ecosystem is not a ton of levity and sort of lightheartedness that I really crave and and really need.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_01: And so that itch got stronger, like joy catchers, right?
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_01: And even my children would say, maybe you got to give up on this.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you know, this is something maybe just isn't the thing, you know?
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_01: But my my lack of it in my life, I'm like, I just gotta put a flag in the ground.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I just had this sense, like, I just see people congregating, and I'm gonna call this thing a joy pop-up.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_01: It's gonna have all these elements.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_01: I thought about balloons and music and confetti.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_01: So I just put a post out on LinkedIn in January and just said literally what I just said.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, thank you for following the Joy Catchers.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_01: I put it on my LinkedIn, and actually that post wasn't even intentionally.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_01: The Joy Catchers didn't even appear on my LinkedIn.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_01: That's how such an important piece of my life wasn't even represented in my, you know, online resume.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_01: So I put it on there and at the end, LinkedIn said, Do you want to post this to your network?
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, Yeah, I'm posting this to my network.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_01: And it was one of those moments where I just believed in myself and was bold because it's hard to do that because what are people gonna think?
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_01: What's my employer gonna think?
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_01: I never asked their permission.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_01: And I planted that flag and I got a couple of little outreaches that gave me just enough juice to say, I'm just going with it.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_01: And it started to be like, tell me what a pop-up is.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_01: I really like the idea of that.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_01: And it just kept iterating over the last, you know, close to six months now, and or not even five months now.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_01: And here we are.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_01: Now we're doing virtual and in-person events, they're all in flow.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_01: I'm doing the daily post on LinkedIn.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_01: And it's so it's, I think it's to say that if you have that itch, just move in the direction, even though like everything I just shared was the most scary things I've probably done in my career, because you know that people are thinking, like, first of all, what is she doing?
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_01: Did she quit her job?
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_01: What is my job thinking?
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_01: There's a huge risk there.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_01: But I was ready, I was so desperate for that feeling.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what they say, you should put out into the world what you're desperate to find.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I was good with any consequence.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_01: I was good with any backlash.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_01: If I lost the job, I was like, I made peace with all of that.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_01: I told the kids, even like my my two teenagers, I'm like, hey, I'm doing this thing.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_01: I know we've talked about this since you've been small, like that we would travel the world and just try to spread a little bit of light and good, which they would always be really excited about when they were five.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_01: You know, not so much when they're 16, 17, but you get the idea, right?
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: A little different definition of fun for your teenagers, yeah, at that point.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: But you did it anyway.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's the thing that's so bold and impressive about what you're doing.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I really appreciate you sharing these other moments along your life that were extremely vulnerable and not always the best moments of your life, but they're they're literally what forms us, what makes us who we are, right?
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: And so many times, you know, I don't think everything belongs in a post.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm not saying put it out there into the world because you know, I've seen some things and I'm just like, whoa, like she went zero to a hundred, and I don't I don't know why people share some things that they share.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: But I think when you think about all the things that form us, they have a purpose.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: And that some days you really don't know what they are, but the hardships that you went through actually created this person who wants to do the opposite in the world, which is you know, spread joy, spread kindness, let people know it's okay to take a breath and smile and it doesn't have to have an agenda, right?
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: So is there anything that you see that we could do differently or we could do more of uh to this have more joy?
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's such a good question.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_01: We're all coming into every single moment of our day hot.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_01: Like we literally haven't even dropped the bag at the door and we're dialing into another Zoom.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_01: We may not have gone to the bathroom, gotten a drink of water, seen the sunlight, gotten it like a healthy, good meal where we're not multitasking.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_01: And so we come into that and it's literally impossible to create a space of connection.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_01: It's a space from the neocortex perspective where it's like do mode.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_01: The intellect is on in the brain.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: What joy catchers is trying to do is turn on the limbic part of the brain where it's feeling and I just have a gut feeling this is a person I want to vibe more with.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_01: I really want to have a deeper connection with my team, but how the heck do we get there?
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_01: So, what we're really trying to do is whether it's in a half hour virtually or it's three hours in person, really to create that container, that sacredness.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_01: And we do it in a very specific way.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_01: You'll surely see like well-being elements tied in, you'll see connective exercises, you'll maybe even see a puppy show up.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_01: And you could find those things in other places.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_01: But I think what really makes what we're doing a little bit special is that prior to, you know, spending time with our team, we're gonna ask a little bit about you.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna make you pause and just ask, you know, one, two, or maybe three questions.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I noticed this about your website.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_01: I really appreciate your website because you talk about your love of music and you talk about your love of the Red Sox and you talk about your four dogs.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_01: And even before meeting you, I have a drop-in, but we don't get that drop-in with our peers often.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_01: Like I, you know, I've worked on my team for over a year and I still don't know those elements.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_01: There's not really a container.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_01: We're too busy in the doing.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_01: So we're asking to pause and pivot and really just be with one another and turn on that limbic part of the brain, which by the way, is how we feel like we matter.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_01: Mattering is the third most important thing to our humanity behind food and shelter.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_01: And so once we have those answers to your question, your answers might be if I asked you what is the most meaningful connection point that you've had in a community, you know, you would have a very specific answer.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_01: From that answer, we would then be able to, toward the end of an event, highlight that to you very personally.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_01: So you might talk about the Red Sox and a moment that you had one of your pictures as your team going out and you you have, you know, you're standing by the statue and like you probably did a tour, and we could then give you something that's very specific to the Red Sox and Lee.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_01: So it's not about me and the joy catchers, it's not brand for me.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's making you feel that we heard you, we see you, your team appreciates you because they're the ones bringing us in.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_01: And beyond those four walls, we create a deeper pathway to help connection because we're all so starved for it in this tech heavy AI world, which by the way, I I love AI.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's amazing.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, we can create an app free today that cost me$100,000,$120,000 six years ago.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's insane.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, what you've said is kind of help someone or remind someone that they can have joy or they can take five minutes or they can come to something.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because I know everyone's gone to a meeting.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, oh, why am I here?
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: What are we doing?
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_00: You know, is this just an up with the people moment, or you know, what that is.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I think sometimes, you know, I've been the one holding those, not a joy catcher's official event, but you know, holding those events just says, you know, like this is just us.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna, I know I did a hot cocoa party once uh for my team, and here in New England it's chilly, and cocoa is like one of my go-to's of comfort and connection, and it turned out to be like an incredible event.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: I gave a couple updates, but it had like a cocoa bar and you could put like whatever you wanted in it.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: That's amazing.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: That little moment I think meant a lot to many, and it also kind of thinks set the stage for how I want to be with my team, you know.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: I I want to make sure we make time for these types of things.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I think people are starting for connection, but I'm not sure they know how to find it, right?
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_01: Or even ask for it, right?
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_01: Like putting yourself first.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I never had this thought until you just said what you said.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_01: I've been to a lot of amazing events.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_01: I'm very fortunate.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_01: I I've had executive level roles and I get the red carpet rolled out for me.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I leave most of them not feeling a deeper sense of connection.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_01: I feel grateful that I had the wonderful experience.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_01: I think we can't leave that connection to chance.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I think we want to.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_01: We want to say, okay, we put this whole thing on and everybody's gonna have fun and it's gonna be amazing, and they're gonna leave more deeply connected.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_01: But I think that often is not happening.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_01: Similarly, if we don't put a stake in the ground and say, I'm gonna get up at this time and put myself first in my day before my day goes off the rails, and then I don't keep that promise to myself.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's very similar.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's important that we say these spaces are important, these moments are important.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_01: We can't leave connection and mattering to chance anymore because the world is so counter to it.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: How do we protect?
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'll use the word protect.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: There's probably a better word, but protect ourselves when we do.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like we're locked in, we we know what we're doing, we're in a good space, but you know, the world can bombard us with messages, or we could even ourselves go to you know, the websites or on our phone and scroll and do those sort of things that don't always add to our lives.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_00: I know every now and then I'll look at the news and I'll go, yeah, but the world's still really messed up.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_00: And then I'm like, I don't know why I looked at that, you know.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: How do we protect our joy or how do we keep it safe from you know what could take it away?
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my God, I love this question so much.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's about being very intentional.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's my joy.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_01: Like I mentioned, it's my birthday today.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_01: And my post today on Instagram, which is a little bit more uh free and loose, then you'll find me on LinkedIn.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_01: I said, you know, it's my birthday and I'm gonna do whatever the F I want to do, and I'm celebrating my own joy.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I think we have to revel in that.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I think there's a reluctance to revel in it because it it might feel selfish or someone might judge me.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_01: Like, who does she think she is to revel in her joy?
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_01: But you know what's so funny?
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_01: The dirty little secret about it is anytime you tell someone it's your birthday, you would think that's selfish, like to tell someone it's your birthday.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_01: And that's why sometimes people hold it back.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I don't want to have a big deal made about me.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_01: But other people get so happy to be like, oh my God.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_01: Like it could be a waiter at your favorite restaurant, it could be a friend, like, oh my God, thank you for like happy birthday.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_01: And people get all happy.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, why are we not celebrating each other and and one another more?
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_01: We, you know, we have to be, I think, fiercely protective of that because otherwise, life has other plans.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_01: People want to constantly engage us in that neocortex way where it's like, come on, revenue.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: Let's go, let's go, let's go.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_01: And we can go and we do it.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_01: And we're, you know, you and I are high performing women.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_01: And if we don't tend to that limbic side of how we feel and what's going to nurture that side, shame on us to let other people rob us of that.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I've spent my lifetime allowing that.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't anymore.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_01: And a more recent development for me is I'm not a morning person.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_01: I would have told you that up until a couple of weeks ago.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_01: I would have said, I'm going to get up at the exact moment I have to to execute on my day.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not going to get up any earlier than I need to.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_01: And then I listened to a podcast with Rich Roll, who's an ultramarathoner, who's pretty famous.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_01: And he had a back surgery that completely took him out.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_01: Like he had to rehab every muscle in his body.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_01: And he said he was really depressed.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_01: And he just decided one day, you know what?
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to get up in the 4 a.m.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_01: hour, which he typically wouldn't do.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_01: He get up early, but not that early.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm going to just preserve this piece of my day.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to hold it sacred.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I think I'm going to be able to create some momentum, which is also sacred.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_01: And no one's going to take it from me.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_01: And there was something about listening to him on this solo podcast.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_01: It was just a few weeks ago.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, okay, I think I'm going to try that.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_01: And I sat with it for a couple of weeks.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_01: And then it was like, it was just a few days ago.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I'm going to put the stake in the ground and promise myself something that I would never renege on any other promise in my life.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_01: I today I show up, tell you I'm going to be here at 11.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_01: I'm here at 11.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_01: My kids, I never renege on a promise, but gosh darn it, I'm reneging on a lot of promises for myself.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_01: How many times can I tell you I'm going to work out?
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to get more fit.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to, and then I'll go for a couple of weeks and then I allow something else to take precedence over myself.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_01: And this is the first time I've woken up like that.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_01: And the joy is just profound joy.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, oh my gosh, I have two hours or three hours before anybody's paint.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_01: And it's sacred time.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I know I will do this for the rest of my life.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I couldn't have done it sooner because I didn't have enough self-love to say, Carrie, you're making this promise to you and hold it tight because people are going to want to grab this time, you know, and I'm going to wanna, if I'm not in a good self-love place, I'm going to want to talk myself out of the time and think that self-love, like, oh, I deserve to sleep in.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_01: I know what I deserve is to get my butt up and treat that time for myself to meander around the house, make that cup of tea, get my butt down on the treadmill.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm going to feel amazing after that.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I was not doing that for myself on a consistent basis enough.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_01: And I think I'm I'm in my 50s.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_01: I'm 56 today.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I think I realized, like, man, I've allowed the first part of my life to really be dictated so much by others.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I want to be that joy for me.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_01: And if I can do that for me, because as you know, you're in a giving space.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_01: And we talked about this.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_01: If you're a giving person, you get depleted super fast.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_01: And it's hard to know when to put that faucet off.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_00: Did I tell you the quote that someone said to me?
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_00: Givers have to set boundaries because takers don't have any.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_00: And there are takers in the world.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_00: They just exist.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm not judging takers and don't judge a giver either.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_00: But I think sometimes givers don't realize that.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: And they think, oh, I should give more.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I know I have done this and it's something I'll probably work on the rest of my life, honestly.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_00: You know, and it doesn't mean like I don't know how to do it.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_00: It just means like I feel like it's the right thing sometimes.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, just to insert that there, I just think you have to realize that if you're a giver, like you have to give to yourself as much, if not more, at times than to others.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_00: And that is a learning that you don't learn most likely until something's gone probably left or the wrong way, meaning you're depleted.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_01: A hundred percent.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I think as women, we've been sold a bit of a bill of goods.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_01: We don't talk about money openly.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_01: We, oh, I'll just do that, or oh, sure, I'll show up for that.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_01: And it's all really saying to yourself that I'm not important enough to be the first person.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's like on a plane.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_01: I couldn't help my kids if I don't put my own oxygen, if the plane's going in a bad way, own oxygen mask on first.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_01: But then in other realms of life, we're completely comfortable and have been, you know, again, kind of duped a little bit to say, well, that's okay.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I'll I should give over here and give to myself.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_01: No, I think it's give to yourself 100% first.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_01: And then you have so much to give to others and you know when to shut it off because you're genuinely depleted after you've already filled your cup, right?
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_01: So I feel like that's so incredibly important.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_01: And again, it's a recent lesson for me to really love myself enough to be able to do those things.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and sometimes we learn the hard way, like I said.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's okay.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_00: Just don't keep learning the hard way, you know?
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_00: When you think about being an ambassador for the joy catchers, which is one of the things that people can sign up to do.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to make sure people know about it and they can apply for this.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_00: What does that mean?
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_00: What can they do, or what how can they support your mission of being an ambassador?
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's a great question.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_01: Um, well, we've brought on by the end of this first ramp, we'll probably be at seven or so, um, which I'm super grateful for.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_01: And those folks are out there in their own worlds amplifying joy in whatever way that that takes for them.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_01: So it could be a post, it could be what we call a joy drop.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_01: So when someone comes on with us, I send them a package to say thank you for being an ambassador, little things that I think will make them smile.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_01: They also get a package that we've already pre-talked about, where I'll say, like, is there someone immediately that pops to mind or a place that you do business where you'd love to just let people know that they matter?
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_01: And immediately someone will say, Oh, my coffee shop, or, you know, my dry cleaner that's right up the street that I've been going to for 20 years.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_01: They know my name, they know my kids.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_01: Like, okay, what do you think would make sense for that person?
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, got it.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_01: I send them that package, and then they'll go out and drop that off in the world.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_01: There could be some fanfare about that in social media.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't have to be.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but it's just they're out there really doing what we try to uphold, which is throwing that boomerang out, especially when you feel crummy.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_01: The best thing you can do is throw the boomerang out and do something super kind.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_01: It's counterintuitive because we want to just hunker in and not be bothered.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_01: Do the kind thing and then the boomerang comes back and hits you.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_01: And that's that's what they're out there doing.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_01: We have a call once a month that'll, since the Joy Ambassador program's new as of last month, we'll start next month, the second or the third Monday of every month, just getting on and talking about what everybody's doing.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_01: How can we spread more joy?
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_01: What can we really be about?
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_01: So that kind of sits separate from the pop-ups and some of the work we're doing corporately and some of the partnerships we're exploring, just to let people know that at our core, like I would do this work for no revenue at all.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_01: It makes me so happy.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's what my purpose is.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_01: And so I never want to lose that as we grow and scale and do all the things which we're doing.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_01: I want to remain a group of really energized people that really just want to be that little bit of light, both for themselves first, as we've talked about, and then you know, projecting that outwards.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_01: Cause I think people really, really need those lights, especially as you talked about, like people that are takers or maybe not as kind.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_01: They're they're the ones that need the kindness the most.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think we can be just a really great group in that way.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_01: And then toward the end of each year, we'll have um an event where I bring everybody in and just do something super nice for them so that they feel that they matter to our team and and all of that.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_01: So that's nice.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so check that out.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_00: I think joycatchers.com and the information is down in the the meeting notes.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_00: But wanted to just ask you before we go, if someone wanted to really think about taking care of themselves or you know, really thinking, you know, what do they do for fun?
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_00: What brings them joy?
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_00: And they don't really know where to start.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_00: Where do they start with themselves?
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_00: Do they look for that pantsuit picture or in their memory box, or do they do they make a vision board, or do they think about the simplest things?
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_00: I think sometimes, at least my opinion, if we make it too complex, we think we have to join something, sign up, pay for something, go see someone.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_00: When really it could just be like go sit in a corner with a cozy blanket and read your book, your favorite book, or turn off the lights and light a candle and listen to your favorite music, you know, those sort of things.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_00: I just think sometimes we overcomplicate joy.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, you're so right.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_01: I I think we we think it's got to be, you know, something grand or you know, sort of explosive.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I think the most profound, deep joy is just in being very present.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_01: Joy can't exist without presence.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think that's often why we feel very feel that joy is very absent.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_01: So especially on days where I'm struggling to find it, what I realize about myself, and I'm sure this is very consistent for others, is that I'm moving too fast.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not really there with you when I should be there with you.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_01: And the minute that I have that thought, oh, there's joy.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_01: In that blanket with that cup of tea.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like how luxurious of a moment is that?
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_01: And also to recognize that that is also joy.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_01: It can be the Oscar winning moment, but it can also be, and most often is in just the ho-hum day to day is where joy is hidden, you know.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_01: And that's part of the reason why I post about it the way that I do is I spot it and I think, oh, I bet you someone else is missing this because if I wasn't posting about this, I might not be present enough to see it.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_01: And so, especially when I'm struggling to see it, I know I just need to slow down.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_01: So I think in presence is where it is.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so so just take the moment, be present, don't make it too big that it has to be or needs to be.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_00: And joy is not expensive.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's something that we can find if we're intentional.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I think you said that so, so well.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_00: Well, thank you so much for being on the bold lounge, for sharing your work, uh, your story, your bold journey, and more about the joy catchers, which we need more of everywhere in every corner of our world.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you so much uh for creating an organization with a mission for good.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, well, thank you for having me, Lee.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_01: It's been such a pleasure, and I I'm so grateful for the time.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to the Bold Lounge podcast.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_00: Through the continuum of bold stories, vulnerability to taking the leap, you will meet more extraordinary people making a positive impact for others through their unique and important story.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_00: By highlighting these stories, we hope to inspire others and share the journey of those with a bold mindset.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_00: We hope you've enjoyed this podcast and look forward to sharing the next bold journey with you.