Latest / Tribe and Tribulations With Julia Makowsky / The WhatsApp Loophole: How Eli Weber Built a Media Empire—and Bridged Two Jewish Worlds

Transcript

The WhatsApp Loophole: How Eli Weber Built a Media Empire—and Bridged Two Jewish Worlds · Tribe and Tribulations With Julia Makowsky

• 0:00
  Why do you think storytelling hits more than creating content?
• 0:02
  I don't think people really care about your content.
• 0:05
  I think they care about your story.
• 0:07
  So one of the best ways to measure content is when you put out that piece of content,
• 0:13
  think for yourself, how many people deserve to see this?
• 0:15
  So you'll see posting Mazel Tov,
• 0:18
  I had a baby, even better is you get engaged, God forbid breaking up or something like that.
• 0:23
  those huge milestones and when you share them, they get big numbers, big views.
• 0:30
  So therefore, when you're sharing, hey, here's my coffee, who cares?
• 0:33
  The more you go into your story and in depth of your story, the more views you'll get.
• 0:40
  Hello and welcome back to Tribe and Tribulations.
• 0:43
  I am so glad you are here.
• 0:45
  Today's guest is very fun, very different, and someone that I admire in business,
• 0:52
  but have just recently met because actually through your wife, who we love dearly.
• 0:59
  Today I'm sitting down with Ellie Weber, founder of Weber Media.
• 1:03
  A lot of people know Ellie from his storytelling, his food reviews, and the work he does online.
• 1:08
  But I wanted to have a conversation that goes beyond social media.
• 1:12
  We're talking about experiences that shaped him, what he's learning through marriage and meeting people from different backgrounds,
• 1:18
  and how that's changed the way he's looked at community and business.
• 1:23
  Yes, we are going to definitely discuss like food reviews
• 1:26
  because honestly, you're the king of food reviews at this point.
• 1:29
  So, Eli, welcome to Tribe and Tribulations.
• 1:32
  We're so happy you're here.
• 1:34
  Thank you.
• 1:35
  I really am grateful to this opportunity.
• 1:38
  And I've watched your work.
• 1:40
  I've met you in school.
• 1:41
  So it's like kind of feels like home.
• 1:44
  I feel very comfortable here and I'm very excited.
• 1:47
  Okay, we're excited to have you here also.
• 1:49
  Okay, for those of you that don't know Ellie, in my world, you're a little more under the radar.
• 1:56
  In your world, you're a superstar.
• 1:58
  Can you tell me and my followers and viewers a little bit about yourself?
• 2:03
  Yeah.
• 2:04
  Yeah.
• 2:04
  So first of all, I'm trying really to get into your world.
• 2:08
  And every time I'm in five towns, I'm vlogging going up and down.
• 2:12
  I'm working now with some of the restaurants there to work with them, you know, closer, doing their social media and their storytelling.
• 2:20
  traveling um so i'm really trying to get more into it and every time i go i meet new friends
• 2:25
  and i'm making new contacts and you know this this week i needed a haircut because i know i'm
• 2:29
  coming here so i posted on instagram and i met somebody from five towns who they have a you know
• 2:35
  a barbershop in their house so it was pretty cool to connect again with more and more people um
• 2:43
  who i had um
• 2:46
  how'd you grow up so i grew up hasidish and still am hasidish i i love the culture
• 2:56
  the culture of hasidish i mean i think that in one word what hasidus is we discussed it
• 3:02
  even this week shabbos at the table is that um people used to take things literal especially
• 3:10
  in the more lidvish world they took things literal like it says that you should daven
• 3:14
  three times a day, so there's specific times for davening, or when it says that you should learn
• 3:19
  all day, so people took it literally, you should learn all day, Shabbos night, Purim, Shabbos
• 3:24
  afternoon, like they take it very little.
• 3:26
  I think what Hasidus came and did about 200, 300 years ago
• 3:30
  is that it said this is not working to the average Jew who doesn't have access to even a siddur or,
• 3:36
  you know, a sefer and whatever.
• 3:38
  So we're going to switch this around.
• 3:39
  We're going to make it that
• 3:40
  you can serve God by doing day-to-day average things.
• 3:43
  And that's why so many chassidim, all they do is chesed.
• 3:46
  They don't know how to daven or learn.
• 3:49
  And so they have a radio, and they can help people, and they really do.
• 3:52
  A lot of them do, and so is with the rest of the world they help people, I'm saying.
• 3:55
  But that's what they stand out with because they believe that they can serve God that way.
• 4:00
  Same as with food.
• 4:01
  Like food is a whole situation by a lot of Jewish people and also chassidim,
• 4:07
  and for that exact reason, because if you can serve God by eating,
• 4:10
  Why not choose that path?
• 4:12
  So that's how I saw myself growing up and why I'm proud to be Hasidic.
• 4:19
  But my story is pretty basic, I think.
• 4:21
  Growing up in the extremes in Barapark, then moving to Tams River.
• 4:25
  Learned in Israel for two years, so like between Barapark and Tams River.
• 4:31
  So got a little bit more open-minded there.
• 4:33
  But I did grow up in square schools and then in square shtetl,
• 4:39
  which is the town in Muncie.
• 4:42
  So that showed me the extreme of the extremes
• 4:45
  because I think you can't really go more extreme than square.
• 4:50
  And then just kind of, like I said, going to Israel from there
• 4:53
  and then moving to Tom's River until meeting five towns.
• 4:58
  It's so funny because when I watch your stories now and you're there
• 5:02
  and you're like, it's kind of like being upstate.
• 5:04
  And I'm laughing because it's so – I'm from L.A. originally.
• 5:09
  So we have like a whole different vibe than New York.
• 5:13
  And to me, I'm like it feels like small town USA, like Cedarhurst.
• 5:18
  And to have you describe it as like it's upstate, like you're in the country.
• 5:23
  And I'm like, I don't even understand the country.
• 5:26
  Like it's not that thing.
• 5:28
  I love it.
• 5:29
  I actually think that it brings like such a fresh perspective and you're like so sweet.
• 5:34
  the way you approach it, because it's really all new for you.
• 5:37
  And just like if I showed up in
• 5:40
  Tom's River or in Borough Park, and we lived in Brooklyn for two years when I first got married.
• 5:44
  And I said, I did time because I really, I, I w it was a culture shock for me.
• 5:49
  I was like,
• 5:49
  where am I?
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  I am living in an alternate universe.
• 5:53
  No one says hello to me.
• 5:54
  I'm like, hi, hi.
• 5:56
  My husband's like, you need to like, stop smiling at people so much, like stop it.
• 6:00
  And I'm like,
• 6:00
  OK.
• 6:01
  But I do think that there's this a very big difference between like Flatbush and Borough Park.
• 6:10
  I will say that I actually found it more comfortable in Borough Park than I did in Flatbush, weirdly enough, because like they kind of felt like Nebuchadnezzar for Julia.
• 6:19
  But like she's saying hello to everybody in the street.
• 6:22
  They're like, hi, are you OK?
• 6:24
  Yeah.
• 6:26
  OK.
• 6:27
  When you were younger, did you think that you were going to go into like business?
• 6:30
  Or did you really think that you were going to be more of like a volunteer at these organizations?
• 6:36
  Or how were you planning on serving God in that way?
• 6:40
  Yeah, so it's very interesting.
• 6:43
  First of all, regarding the Brooklyn thing, my dad, who is awesome.
• 6:46
  So is my mom.
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  Shout out to my family.
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  He used to walk on the streets of Brooklyn on Shabbos on Borough Park.
• 6:52
  And he would help every person get Shabbos.
• 6:55
  And then if they wouldn't answer, he would say like in Yiddish and Finnish, which means like, OK, don't answer.
• 7:01
  And many people would turn around and they'll be like, oh, get Shabbos.
• 7:03
  They don't even – they're not trying to be mean.
• 7:06
  It's just – it's a very Brooklyn style.
• 7:08
  Yeah, it's not part of their nature.
• 7:09
  It's not part of their nature.
• 7:11
  It's just – I'm not sure why, but I do make it a habit to tell random people hello.
• 7:18
  And I wanted to say about Square that when I was there, I worked for GESA 24-7.
• 7:23
  So I kind of found meaning in the extremes that they were.
• 7:27
  I came to the city every day, delivered chesed meals, filled up the rooms and stuff like that.
• 7:32
  So I really found meaning there.
• 7:35
  To your question, growing up for me, I was always unique.
• 7:39
  I would always, I think, sit in bed and think about things and just talk.
• 7:44
  I think I was always more spiritual.
• 7:46
  Maybe it's my Scorpio side.
• 7:48
  I'm not exactly sure.
• 7:49
  But I always was searching, always wanted more.
• 7:54
  I did always know that I'm going to be successful.
• 7:57
  I just didn't know exactly how.
• 8:00
  So my entry to the world of fame was through Michal Schnitzler.
• 8:03
  I don't even know if you know.
• 8:04
  I don't even know who that is.
• 8:05
  So, OK, so Michal Schnitzler was like the first Hasidic wedding singer.
• 8:09
  And he kind of brought in these wedding singers that you see today by Jewish weddings.
• 8:13
  He brought that in.
• 8:14
  He started this 40 years ago.
• 8:15
  It used to be just bands.
• 8:16
  He started that you can you bring vocals to a band.
• 8:20
  So I was his fan and I started doing his social media.
• 8:25
  and long story short that's how I kind of went into the world of like fame and people knowing me
• 8:33
  and you know kind of and building up social media so um and I liked it because I felt like
• 8:43
  the fact that he's famous gives him an opportunity to just gives him access just gives him the
• 8:48
  opportunity to tell somebody hi, and they get all like, wow, and excited.
• 8:53
  And I was like, okay,
• 8:54
  this seems like if I do have a following an audience, then automatically, I'll be able to
• 9:00
  inspire people, help people make people feel good.
• 9:03
  And I think that's probably what I do on a daily
• 9:05
  basis.
• 9:06
  It could also be it's there to fill a void of, you know, trying to get attention.
• 9:12
  I think I
• 9:12
  love that as well.
• 9:14
  And I think most people do.
• 9:15
  And I actually like that you're acknowledging it,
• 9:17
  Because most people will say like, I don't really care about the fame or I don't really care about the attention.
• 9:23
  No, I'm so sorry.
• 9:24
  You are not putting yourself online or out there in general if you don't – if you're not seeking a little bit of attention, right?
• 9:31
  Like otherwise you would do things behind the scenes.
• 9:33
  I also think it's funny.
• 9:34
  Like you use the word famous.
• 9:37
  Like I would never use the word famous for me because it would – okay.
• 9:42
  OK, it's almost cringeworthy if I would say that out loud.
• 9:47
  But I actually am obsessed with the fact that you are saying like, no, I kind of like the
• 9:52
  fact that I'm out there and that people come over to me.
• 9:55
  And that's very rare.
• 9:58
  And I actually think that it's more common in the Hasidic world and in the more to the
• 10:05
  right world, because hopefully I think that the premise is, is that most people in that
• 10:11
  world are not looking to outside celebrities, right?
• 10:14
  They are looking at the celebrities within
• 10:17
  the confines of being Jewish.
• 10:19
  So you are the version of Ed Sheeran or whatever, whatever
• 10:26
  famous person outside of the world is, whereas in the Hasidic world or in the like more to the
• 10:35
  right world, they're not looking at the superstars or they're not supposed to be looking at
• 10:40
  celebrities outside of their community.
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  So I actually think that you are in a unique position
• 10:47
  to create a lot of noise within your realm because you're also one of the first.
• 10:53
  You are
• 10:54
  dipping your toes into content creation that's very different than a lot of what once was.
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  Also
• 11:00
  being a male in a content creating field is a whole different ballgame.
• 11:05
  And I kind of want to
• 11:06
  talk about how you started.
• 11:09
  And one of the interesting things is that I've noticed that
• 11:15
  we millennials use Instagram, boomers use Facebook, Gen Z use TikTok, Hasidim use WhatsApp.
• 11:23
  Like that is their version of social media because there's this like kosher loophole.
• 11:28
  Like, oh,
• 11:29
  you only have the people that you have in your contacts to see your stuff, or there's a WhatsApp
• 11:34
  chat and it's kosher and it's safe, but it really is a loophole because if you want to do the wrong
• 11:40
  thing, right, if you want to have a random person's number in your phone, you can see all
• 11:44
  their information and everything they put out there.
• 11:47
  How did you start using WhatsApp as your
• 11:50
  initial social media?
• 11:51
  Yeah.
• 11:53
  Um, it, it, I don't think it was my initial social media.
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  I did start
• 11:57
  first on Instagram.
• 11:59
  Um, LinkedIn, I started, uh, about four or five years ago when I started my
• 12:03
  business it's funny because sometimes people tell me it's like of course you're successful you have
• 12:07
  this big following and I'm like yeah this whole big following started about four years ago when
• 12:12
  I started the business and I said the best way to get out there is social media so let me start
• 12:16
  platforms and then it grew to almost a hundred thousand followers so I did that in order to get
• 12:23
  successful in business and and now that's what I offer for any average brand and we do that for
• 12:30
  sesame juice, but you know, brands that everybody loves, Klein's Ice Cream, and we run their
• 12:35
  storytelling.
• 12:36
  WhatsApp was just another way to do that.
• 12:38
  The moment you started putting out content
• 12:40
  and sharing stuff, people would sign up and subscribe to watch the status.
• 12:48
  And the impulse
• 12:49
  buy that WhatsApp status has is incredible.
• 12:51
  People build their entire business off WhatsApp status.
• 12:55
  I'm not a huge fan of it because, like I said, it can't grow.
• 12:58
  And when you put a video, it doesn't go to new people.
• 13:02
  And also WhatsApp, nobody knows how long it's going to be around.
• 13:05
  So it could just be that you're building on something that's going to get lost soon.
• 13:10
  We think Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, at least LinkedIn, these platforms can stay forever, YouTube.
• 13:16
  But with Instagram, nobody knows.
• 13:18
  And now they're introducing ads.
• 13:20
  So it's going to get, I think, oversaturated.
• 13:23
  But again, it is, it is a great platform.
• 13:26
  I mean, is that your question?
• 13:27
  The question really, it really is.
• 13:29
  That is the question.
• 13:30
  But I think more than that, you created its own social network, meaning a lot of times
• 13:38
  you're not supposed to be on Instagram, right?
• 13:40
  Like if, if you're in Lakewood, my husband was just at BMG actually recently, and they
• 13:47
  have kosher phones, like, and the kosher phones are outside of the base midrash.
• 13:52
  So you're creating, I would say, an opportunity for people to engage with content and storytelling, like you like to say, that maybe people wouldn't have the ability to have outside of you or outside of whoever else is doing content on WhatsApp, which is a foreign concept for most people that are not in that world.
• 14:19
  because we have access to TikTok and Instagram and LinkedIn and all of these things.
• 14:24
  Why do you think that that has taken off more within the Hasidic world rather than in anywhere else?
• 14:33
  Right.
• 14:34
  That's a great question.
• 14:35
  Now I understand your question.
• 14:37
  I think that Hasidim mostly, and I'm going to say this so that they're judged favorably,
• 14:44
  in many cases, most cases, they're lost.
• 14:47
  I mean, I say we are lost.
• 14:49
  We're not exactly sure ourselves what's at the core and what's added.
• 14:56
  So most Hasidim that I've met in my lifetime are extremely humble and vulnerable.
• 15:02
  And meaning if they don't look into your eyes or if they don't do something, like they don't know, they're confused themselves.
• 15:10
  And maybe that's a good thing.
• 15:11
  Maybe it's good to go through life humbling and maybe it's not.
• 15:13
  Maybe they should be educated.
• 15:15
  but and yes clearly they're looking for an outlet and whatsapp is that that outlet where you can come
• 15:22
  home after a day of work and and follow whether it's news or entertainment or funny stuff and
• 15:27
  it's probably yeah why i grew so big over there because i was one of the only ones to come out and
• 15:32
  say okay let's go even more out of the box let me share my personal life while nobody was doing it
• 15:38
  so yeah you guys are dipping your toes into what social media is that is exactly it where
• 15:44
  you know, you're about five, 10 years behind what originally was like, I, it's funny.
• 15:49
  I see
• 15:49
  some of your content and I'm like, Oh, I saw that on Tik TOK like a month ago or whatever it is.
• 15:55
  And it's because everything is a little bit slower and a little, but there's actually beauty in that
• 16:02
  because there's a safety net.
• 16:04
  And I think that one of the things you just said was
• 16:07
  we're a little more humble.
• 16:09
  We're a little bit slower.
• 16:10
  Maybe we're not as educated or whatever,
• 16:12
  But I actually think there's more embrace to grow because of that attitude where it's like I don't want to jump into the secular world.
• 16:23
  I want to protect what I know and tradition and culture.
• 16:28
  But I'm also questioning what's real, what's not.
• 16:31
  And there's a lot more growth orientation when you come from that perspective when then I know everything.
• 16:38
  I know everything.
• 16:38
  I'm just going to follow everything and just do.
• 16:40
  like no growth comes from questions yeah and i think i really resonate with that message because
• 16:47
  we don't really know what god wants like none of us do yeah we have the torah and we have the
• 16:52
  we have all of these things that lead us to a better life but ultimately it's interpretation
• 17:00
  right and hopefully at 120 we go up to shemayim and and realize oh we did our best and hashem
• 17:08
  looks at us and goes, you impacted the world in a positive way.
• 17:12
  You're probably not going to realize much anyway.
• 17:15
  Because I know I'm saying because we always discuss in this Shabbos also, like we're not
• 17:19
  going to have our brains and bodies are not coming along.
• 17:22
  So the whole ego that I do right, that I not do, what do I think about how my life was?
• 17:27
  It's going to be completely irrelevant.
• 17:30
  But which just, in my opinion, takes off the pressure of what life can be.
• 17:35
  I also think people are very much obsessed with what success looks like and what a positive impact looks like.
• 17:44
  But a positive impact looks different for everybody.
• 17:48
  So, you know, to somebody that's doing really well in sports, that's doing really well in business, that's really like embracing different cultures.
• 17:57
  Everyone has a different level that they're trying to reach.
• 18:00
  So everyone needs to focus themselves.
• 18:02
  Yeah.
• 18:02
  And that comes straight from God.
• 18:03
  That that's his the most beautiful thing that he did is that everybody is different and it's not black and white.
• 18:12
  And while one in my opinion, one person will get rewarded for doing well at sports, another person will get rewarded for sitting all day and BMG and learning.
• 18:20
  Yeah.
• 18:20
  So I love it.
• 18:22
  I actually love it.
• 18:22
  Yeah.
• 18:23
  OK.
• 18:25
  You talk a lot about content creation versus storytelling.
• 18:28
  Why do you think storytelling hits more than, I guess, like creating content?
• 18:34
  um great question because i don't think people really care about your content i think they care
• 18:40
  about your story so one of the best ways to measure content is by when you put out that
• 18:46
  piece of content think for yourself how many people deserve to see this right so you'll see
• 18:52
  for example posting let's say mazda i had a baby that's one of the posts that performed the best
• 18:58
  even better is you get engaged, right?
• 19:00
  My engagement post got over 2 million views, right?
• 19:05
  You know, God forbid breaking up or something like that.
• 19:08
  Those huge milestones and when you share them,
• 19:11
  they get big numbers, big views.
• 19:15
  So therefore, when you're sharing,
• 19:16
  hey, here's my coffee, who cares?
• 19:20
  Nobody really cares.
• 19:21
  So the more you go into your story
• 19:23
  and in depth of your story, the more views you'll get.
• 19:27
  can we talk about your story a little bit?
• 19:28
  Because your story is changing as you are getting older.
• 19:32
  And the reason why we connected is because your perfect, beautiful wife, Dina, am I allowed to
• 19:39
  say her name online?
• 19:40
  Um, was my babysitter for many, many years.
• 19:44
  And she is just wonderful.
• 19:45
  And her family is wonderful.
• 19:47
  And you are very different than each other.
• 19:51
  And I have to,
• 19:52
  I have to admit that like, when she showed me that she was dating, I was like,
• 19:56
  who is this person and how did you two meet like what yeah you're a you're a cutie patootie
• 20:02
  after girl from the five towns like what how do you get to lakewood like how did this happen so
• 20:09
  can you tell the klal a little bit about your like meet cute yeah yeah absolutely um yeah i'm very
• 20:15
  grateful we're we're married already for a while dating for a while known each other for almost a
• 20:21
  year and a half now by the way so it's pretty like I I see it a little bit as a milestone to
• 20:26
  celebrate and by the way shout out to DJ because if if uh he remembers I brought her to one of the
• 20:33
  first uh he invited me on this podcast and I was like and I texted my wife I was like do you want
• 20:39
  to come I'm doing a podcast and I was like I would I thought to myself it would be cool to have you
• 20:43
  know oh you were you were flexing you were flexing yeah and it worked I mean I think DJ
• 20:50
  They had more respect for me than I pulled up with her.
• 20:53
  And she probably also had more respect for you.
• 20:54
  She's like, oh, he's going to make it.
• 20:56
  I got it.
• 20:57
  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 20:58
  Okay, you were flexing.
• 20:59
  Yeah, we still remember what I wore.
• 21:00
  We call that the podcast shirt.
• 21:04
  But that was the second time I met her.
• 21:07
  The first time was I basically posted an Instagram story looking for restaurant recommendations.
• 21:14
  and I did that because I was waiting for people to respond and seeing who responds and
• 21:18
  being able to start a conversation and randomly she wasn't even following me she bumped into it
• 21:24
  and responded Mr. Broadway and I was like Mr. Broadway I was like should I go there should I
• 21:28
  not I was like you know what if you come along then I'll go oh okay smooth move over here yeah
• 21:35
  look at you shooting your shot I'm actually very impressed yeah okay everyone should take a page
• 21:42
  out of Ellie's book because not a lot of people are like can I say ballsy in your world are ballsy
• 21:48
  enough to like really go for it and be like come with me and she came with you so she no she didn't
• 21:54
  make it that easy I mean she obviously brought along a friend to you know protect herself and
• 22:01
  what's interesting is that I also chose to bring along a friend and then my friend set up her
• 22:09
  friend and they got married wow so and they're married we were shabbos together with them like
• 22:15
  an amazing couple just from that story but then we ended up um you know being friends and then
• 22:22
  dating the rest is kind of history i mean but i think the the point is and let me try to solve
• 22:27
  the shidduch crisis in 30 seconds take responsibility for yourself don't blame your
• 22:34
  friends don't have to bring you shidduch the matchmakers don't have to bring you shidduch
• 22:37
  Nobody has to think about you.
• 22:39
  You think about yourself.
• 22:41
  Work on yourself.
• 22:42
  Learn new things about yourself.
• 22:44
  Grow.
• 22:45
  Heal.
• 22:46
  And reach out.
• 22:48
  Go to a social event.
• 22:49
  Reach out.
• 22:50
  Take charge of your Shidduchim about yourself.
• 22:52
  Especially you have people that are like 30 or 40.
• 22:55
  You were still waiting for the matchmaker.
• 22:57
  You're not in school.
• 22:58
  This is not like, what are you expecting to happen?
• 23:00
  Reach out and make things happen.
• 23:02
  And I'm proud of myself for doing that.
• 23:04
  Like, you know, obviously everything with the help of God and Hashem.
• 23:08
  Like, I mean, like it's, but at the end of the day, I took action.
• 23:14
  And you also, what you did is a huge thing.
• 23:17
  I think a lot of people have this fear of rejection.
• 23:20
  That's a standard emotion for people.
• 23:23
  They're like, no, no, no.
• 23:24
  I'd rather not put myself out there because they're afraid.
• 23:27
  And I think for myself also over the last year and a half,
• 23:31
  I've really been like the worst thing someone can say to you is no.
• 23:35
  Right.
• 23:36
  And what does that do?
• 23:37
  Nothing.
• 23:37
  You're in the same place you are now.
• 23:38
  Right.
• 23:39
  So I made it a habit before obviously leading up to this.
• 23:42
  And yes, I understand my personality is a little more out there.
• 23:45
  And I was always more of the, you can call it extrovert.
• 23:48
  I was always the school clown and the popular kid and the play leader, you know, lead actor or whatever.
• 23:57
  But in the same time, I also worked extremely hard on becoming who I am and not being afraid of rejection and stuff like that.
• 24:03
  So for starters, I read a lot of books.
• 24:07
  There's a book called Open Her, which I think is amazing.
• 24:09
  Just understanding masculinity.
• 24:11
  Like it has like a controversial cover, I think.
• 24:13
  But so like of a picture of a woman.
• 24:16
  And but it's like.
• 24:17
  OK, here we go.
• 24:18
  Yeah, but it's but it's no, but it doesn't talk anything about that.
• 24:21
  It just talks about seven, I think, seven masculine archetypes of what women appreciate
• 24:27
  in men.
• 24:28
  And when I learned that, I was like, wow, OK, so they appreciate adventure.
• 24:31
  They appreciate artist type.
• 24:32
  They appreciate these kind of things.
• 24:34
  So let me become that version of what a woman can appreciate in life.
• 24:39
  The concept of masculinity is very interesting because I'll be honest, we have created a
• 24:46
  world where men are not necessarily living up to their masculine title.
• 24:53
  Right.
• 24:54
  And that is social constructs and as well as like religious constructs.
• 25:01
  We've basically said, you know, women, you need to bear children, but you also need to
• 25:04
  work and you also need to take care of the house and you also need to be sexy and you
• 25:08
  also need to do all of these things all at the same time.
• 25:11
  And it's take and make decisions, whereas a man maybe has taken on a more feminine role or not put themselves in a position where they're as successful.
• 25:21
  And I think that because those roles have almost been reversed, women are not as attracted to men anymore.
• 25:29
  I want a man to make a choice for me.
• 25:32
  And not because I am anti-feminist or I am not a strong-willed woman.
• 25:37
  I am.
• 25:38
  Trust and believe anybody who knows me knows I'm a strong woman who can make decisions for myself.
• 25:43
  But when I'm in a relationship and I'm in a dynamic, I want a man.
• 25:47
  I want my husband to take care of me.
• 25:50
  And I want to feel like a little girl.
• 25:51
  I do.
• 25:52
  I want to feel taken care of because in every other sense of my life, I'm in charge.
• 25:58
  And I think that that's a really good example to put out there where you're like, I want to take care of the person I'm with.
• 26:06
  Yeah.
• 26:06
  And that doesn't put her down.
• 26:08
  That doesn't make her have to be in the kitchen or whatever it is.
• 26:11
  It just gives her the ability to choose the things she wants to be able to do.
• 26:17
  It's a safety net.
• 26:18
  Yeah.
• 26:19
  Most people just don't understand the concept at all of masculinity and femininity.
• 26:24
  And that's, that's really why I read this book multiple times, by the way, to understand that when I understood that I was like, I was like, wow, I was, I was fascinated, you know, so some people would say, oh, so, so you're taking everything from the books and then you used it to pick up girls.
• 26:44
  If that's going to make you read the books, then yes.
• 26:46
  and even if it's not even a book but to me it was like learning i i was just learning what to do i
• 26:51
  came from from zero i had no idea so i read the books and yes and then i truly implemented it into
• 26:57
  my life how to speak to a woman how to speak to a girl um what to say how to make them like you
• 27:03
  said feel good how to make them feel excited you're you're here to give them in a sense a
• 27:08
  better life you're here because you want for yourself a better life yeah so you gotta and
• 27:14
  And regarding rejection, to me, that was something that I would actively practice to walk up to, first of all, to say hi to every person.
• 27:24
  So let's say walking at the beach and just saying hi to girls and just hi and being okay with them not answering.
• 27:31
  When you take it on as a challenge, it's kind of, it's like funny.
• 27:34
  But isn't that a little bit against what you're raised to do?
• 27:39
  Meaning the reason why we have Shidduchim, the reason why we have all of these things and like Shadchans is to protect us from co-mingling.
• 27:50
  Right.
• 27:51
  And you're saying do the opposite.
• 27:53
  Do you think that that's going to bring some backlash?
• 27:55
  Depends for who.
• 27:57
  It really depends for who.
• 27:58
  if you're in the stage of 19, 20, 21, and you want to do it,
• 28:03
  it's almost kind of like the high school sweetheart style because you're just,
• 28:07
  you're very ignorant and we're just giving you a girlfriend, a wife.
• 28:10
  Young and dumb, we call it.
• 28:11
  Yeah.
• 28:12
  And for some it works and that's fine.
• 28:14
  But once you reach, for me, I was already 27 and I was like, okay,
• 28:19
  Schattenraut I don't think is working for me.
• 28:21
  So I have to make my shtatlas to go out there and get married and build a family.
• 28:27
  so and for me to do that one of the ways was to go and approach say hi to girls nothing
• 28:32
  inappropriate or anything or um as then maybe you know can you follow me on instagram just to get
• 28:37
  the rejection and you know what's what's funny is i never got rejected by the way i would always ask
• 28:42
  and they would say yeah sure what's your instagram like or i would say hi and they would always
• 28:46
  answer so which is actually funny so like it didn't really work but at least i knew that i
• 28:51
  some didn't answer so i guess i got comfortable with rejection and i think people should do that
• 28:56
  Um, yeah, I think it's a good, it's a good test for your, like your own ego.
• 29:01
  I actually think it's a great thing.
• 29:02
  So practice that you married a modern Orthodox girl.
• 29:07
  What is the differences that you've seen coming into that world?
• 29:12
  Because a lot of times, even though we're under the same umbrella and the same religion,
• 29:18
  we are completely different culturally, like completely different.
• 29:21
  And there's definitely a culture shock when probably she goes to your world and you come to her.
• 29:26
  So what's been the biggest culture shock for you?
• 29:29
  So I'll address it in two or three different points.
• 29:34
  I had three and now I have two, which is that number one is that it's different.
• 29:41
  People sometimes they see me and they're like, why are you a Hasidic?
• 29:44
  You married Litvish.
• 29:45
  And I say, let's back up for a second.
• 29:48
  Because there's Hasidic.
• 29:50
  there is modern and there is
• 29:53
  Litvish slash Yeshivish I would say
• 29:56
  Litvish and Yeshivish is very different
• 29:59
  modern to Hasidic is very similar
• 30:01
  in my opinion
• 30:03
  at least the values and big parts of what they stand for
• 30:07
  in the modern Orthodox world
• 30:09
  I'm seeing a lot so far of what I've seen
• 30:12
  people they enjoy a good time
• 30:14
  they love going to shul, they love having a good time
• 30:17
  they want to have a kiddish club we love a kiddish club they love food they love they love these
• 30:23
  things they're outgoing and they don't really necessarily care about is everybody learning
• 30:29
  today or not is everybody davening every word of the siddur or not and these things these values
• 30:37
  are very similar to chassidim i always say i don't care how you get to shul but i'm just glad you go
• 30:44
  Like meaning my husband, if the only reason why he goes to shul is to like mingle and schmooze and have a drink with his friends.
• 30:51
  Great.
• 30:52
  You went, you took time out of your day, out of your week to go to a place that has Torah, that has learning.
• 30:58
  You might not be learning or not learning, but at least you're going.
• 31:01
  At least you're there.
• 31:02
  And to have a sense of community and connection, I think that that is one of the things we're most lacking in the external world, in the secular world is a lack of community.
• 31:13
  And I think that the modern Orthodox world is trying to connect in any way possible.
• 31:17
  And I think the Hasidim do the same thing.
• 31:19
  Yeah.
• 31:20
  So, yeah.
• 31:20
  So for me, when I met my wife and I was like, okay, so let's discuss values.
• 31:27
  Oh, so I want my kids to be like this.
• 31:30
  And I think it's important to be kind.
• 31:32
  And I think it's important to have a good time in life.
• 31:34
  And I was like, okay, me too.
• 31:36
  You know, like everything to me seems the same.
• 31:40
  what's exactly going to be the difference okay so i dress a little bit more modern than the typical
• 31:46
  hasidic okay but at least the the hasidic girl that i would have married in the way i would
• 31:51
  have wanted her to dress would have been an outcast and according to her community and for
• 31:57
  my wife this is how she grew up okay so that's to me a win now i'm gonna say that's the second part
• 32:02
  that i want to say is yes obviously there are differences and it took us time to get used to
• 32:06
  each other.
• 32:07
  And that's why we dated for a while.
• 32:10
  We knew each other for eight months before getting
• 32:11
  engaged, dated for four months before getting engaged.
• 32:13
  So there was, it was plenty of time
• 32:15
  to get to know each other.
• 32:16
  And yes, I still see differences quite often, but nothing that would
• 32:22
  say, oh, wow, like I didn't expect this.
• 32:25
  Or, and I also want to say that, like I said, on a value
• 32:29
  perspective, meaning the, the Balbatash guide, you know what Balbatash means?
• 32:34
  Oh, yes.
• 32:34
  I'm learning
• 32:35
  all of these new words okay so not really i've been married 15 years and my husband grew up in
• 32:40
  brooklyn like he went to the maria shiva in brooklyn so we're very different i grew up in la
• 32:45
  not like this and one of the things that was very interesting was that i didn't understand any of the
• 32:52
  words because i'm like this is not i'm like what's a spazier what's a like what are you talking about
• 32:58
  so balabatesh you want to explain to the viewers just in case they don't know yeah balabatesh is
• 33:03
  like Balbatish means Balboos, which means boss.
• 33:06
  So it means that whatever you do, there's kind of
• 33:09
  like, it's like a level up, like the way you dress, the way you cook, obviously it's mostly
• 33:16
  preferred to the way you cook.
• 33:17
  Like it's a, yeah, you're a Balabusta.
• 33:18
  Yeah.
• 33:19
  Or, or like you said,
• 33:20
  Balabusta, that's probably, it's like for the female that, that she knows how to take care of
• 33:26
  the house.
• 33:26
  She's boss of the, of the house.
• 33:28
  Yeah.
• 33:28
  That's really what it means.
• 33:30
  And then it just goes
• 33:31
  to a lot of different, you know, you can have a Babata suit and a Babata shoe and about whatever.
• 33:36
  So, and that's what I noticed with her family, like very clean, organized, you know, a nice house,
• 33:45
  good food.
• 33:45
  You know, I go there for the meal.
• 33:47
  I was used to my family.
• 33:48
  Oh, we have guests and a
• 33:49
  lot of food.
• 33:49
  And then I go to her family and they have the same, like they have more.
• 33:53
  So it was like,
• 33:54
  so it was like on a value, you know, basis, if you look just at values, everything is the same.
• 34:00
  It's the same.
• 34:02
  And I also do want to say that, again, I don't think there are that many differences.
• 34:07
  If you look at the world and the way people mate and do shadochem and all of that, at the end of the day, people are looking to marry the same type as they are.
• 34:17
  So for every culture and religion.
• 34:20
  And same, in my opinion, should be for Jewish people.
• 34:22
  If you're Jewish and I'm Jewish, yes, I know we have differences.
• 34:26
  But that should be enough common ground.
• 34:28
  That should be 90% of it where we can say, hey, you're Jewish, I'm Jewish.
• 34:33
  Let's build a Jewish family together and let's figure out the differences.
• 34:36
  I had with my wife many things that we had to discuss.
• 34:38
  Are we going to let our kids have payas?
• 34:41
  Are we going to address them like this?
• 34:42
  What are we going to do?
• 34:43
  Paisach?
• 34:43
  What are we?
• 34:44
  All these things.
• 34:45
  And we addressed it.
• 34:46
  And we also knew that there's going to be a lot of unknowns and things that we're going to have to address.
• 34:51
  And we made a commitment that at that time we'll address it.
• 34:55
  So I think that's with any marriage.
• 34:56
  So that's one of the things you need to realize is that, you know, you're newly married.
• 35:01
  You've been married a couple months now.
• 35:04
  I've been doing this a little while.
• 35:05
  I've been married 15 years.
• 35:07
  And even my differences with my husband, it's a constant evolution, right, where it's going, okay, we come from different worlds, but ultimately we're building our own family, which means it's a combination of those worlds.
• 35:19
  No matter whether or not you were Hasidic, you were modern, you were secular, it doesn't make a difference.
• 35:25
  As long as the umbrella and the respect is there.
• 35:29
  So we're Jewish.
• 35:30
  We respect each other's value system.
• 35:32
  We respect each other as people.
• 35:35
  We can make something work if we want to.
• 35:38
  That's the key is that there needs to be a constant stream of communication.
• 35:43
  And there has to be a sense of open-mindedness where we go, okay, this is new to me.
• 35:49
  I don't know what I want necessarily and neither do you.
• 35:53
  But let's figure it out together.
• 35:54
  Right.
• 35:54
  But I think, yeah, you said it beautifully.
• 35:57
  And I think that onto what you said is that there's nothing more important than knowing yourself.
• 36:04
  Once you know yourself, which is, I think, the case for so many people that are struggling in Shadokham, and rightfully so, they should be struggling because they don't know themselves.
• 36:14
  The moment they know themselves, what they value.
• 36:17
  I had a list before I met my wife.
• 36:19
  Like, I knew what I wanted.
• 36:21
  And when I met her, she met everything on the list with one exception.
• 36:25
  she didn't speak yiddish but that's something of course so i figured yiddish and i want to say why
• 36:33
  why did i go and marry somebody with without that without something on my list because
• 36:39
  without one of the things on my list because it's something you can learn so it's it's like it's not
• 36:43
  it's it can be a non-negotiable but she can if she can learn yiddish then okay i'm still going
• 36:47
  to get my list but here's the thing and i'm gonna like hit you on the head a little bit because
• 36:52
  this is my bread and butter.
• 36:54
  You're not going to get everything on your list.
• 36:57
  You're just not.
• 36:57
  And ultimately, yes, you might have won the lottery because you married Dina and I think
• 37:03
  you won the lottery.
• 37:05
  But that doesn't mean that you're one in a million, right?
• 37:10
  She's one in a
• 37:11
  million.
• 37:12
  You might need to go, I need to reevaluate my list.
• 37:14
  Maybe my list is my non-negotiables are
• 37:18
  really negotiables like they're nothing is set in stone until it's set in stone and there needs to
• 37:25
  be some flexibility so like while you're giving advice which i think is there's parts of it that
• 37:32
  make sense there's also parts of it that you have to go check your ego out the door yeah
• 37:38
  and recognize that you know what maybe i am not at this level to get this type of girl
• 37:44
  right a hundred percent so the the point of the list is so that you have a somewhat direction i
• 37:49
  mean i have a sister in shadochum now and i see the confusion of what happens every time they
• 37:53
  bring up a boy it's like should i yes should i not like and i i told her make a list and she did
• 38:00
  and it helps her now they bring her boys she's a top top girl and they bring her boys and she's
• 38:04
  like it says a specific age on my list and this boy doesn't it's too far from it at least right
• 38:12
  or different things that she wants and values and qualities.
• 38:15
  So a list, obviously, you can sometimes go away from the list with certain little details,
• 38:23
  but at least you should have the bulk of it so you know who you're dating and not wasting time.
• 38:26
  Well, you need to know your values.
• 38:27
  You need to know what's important to you.
• 38:29
  But remember that the line shifts as we grow and as we change.
• 38:34
  And you're not the same person the day you get married as the day you die.
• 38:39
  And just like when you look at a person, by the way, how many people gain weight, lose weight, look different, age, those things don't really matter because ultimately, yeah, you have to be attracted to the person, but you're not going to divorce them, hopefully, if they gain five pounds or if they get a black eye or whatever the case may be.
• 39:01
  So you have to really focus in on what is internally my needs, not necessarily externally or like the things that are so frivolous.
• 39:13
  I want to pivot a little bit.
• 39:15
  You are the king of food.
• 39:17
  Okay.
• 39:18
  You know, they have the food God in the non-religious world and you are the food God in the Hasidic world.
• 39:24
  So I'm going to ask you a little bit of kosher questions.
• 39:28
  Is that okay?
• 39:28
  Yeah.
• 39:29
  Okay.
• 39:29
  You've become known for your kosher restaurant reviews.
• 39:32
  How did that even start?
• 39:36
  I think with the same way everything started, nobody was doing it.
• 39:39
  So I would go into restaurants and me with loving food and food loving me.
• 39:45
  I mean, I was like, let's just pose this to the world.
• 39:47
  This is easy.
• 39:50
  What is the first thing you notice when you walk into a restaurant?
• 39:54
  Surprisingly, if somebody is there to say hello or not.
• 39:58
  Okay.
• 39:59
  I think, I mean, we just had this story.
• 40:02
  So if you want to hear like a pretty crazy story, we walk into a restaurant.
• 40:05
  The owner actually invited me in.
• 40:07
  He was like, come by.
• 40:08
  And I have this policy.
• 40:09
  I don't tell them when I'm going to come.
• 40:11
  Also, I always pay at restaurants, like just so people know.
• 40:15
  Like I'm not looking for freebies.
• 40:17
  I'm very happy to pay and I don't want them to give me special service.
• 40:21
  But this, he happened to have invited me and I walk into the restaurant and nobody's there to sit us down.
• 40:27
  Nobody's there to say hi.
• 40:28
  I mean, clearly I would say the service sucked.
• 40:31
  We actually sat down at our table and ordered online to get the order in because nobody even brought us a menu or whatever.
• 40:42
  And then suddenly he just comes running in, and I didn't even know it was the owner that invited me.
• 40:47
  And he starts setting us up the table.
• 40:49
  He ended up saving the day because he brought us everything and the food was very good and whatever.
• 40:56
  But the point is you got to greet your customers.
• 40:59
  I mean, so to me, the first thing I'm noticing is that first hello.
• 41:03
  Can let's get you a table.
• 41:06
  What is one restaurant that exceeded your expectations?
• 41:19
  I would say my my favorite restaurant, I would say.
• 41:22
  I don't know about expectations because it's hard for restaurants to really be perfect.
• 41:26
  But I would say Wall Street Grill kind of, to me, meets everything that a restaurant needs.
• 41:32
  They have the downstairs that's quiet.
• 41:33
  They have the upstairs that's noisy.
• 41:35
  Sometimes they have DJ.
• 41:36
  They have outdoor overlooking parts of the city.
• 41:39
  You're two blocks from the ferry.
• 41:41
  So I always, I took, you know, I went one of my dates with my wife.
• 41:44
  I did that and I recommend that to other people.
• 41:46
  They have a nice bar in the beginning.
• 41:49
  The menu is light and fluffy.
• 41:50
  Like you'll have a crispy beef and a chicken fingers and a chicken soup.
• 41:54
  So I think that that's kind of like if I would say if I have to open a restaurant, I would probably model it after that.
• 42:00
  Yeah.
• 42:02
  Without getting yourself into too much trouble.
• 42:04
  Yeah.
• 42:05
  What's the biggest mistake kosher restaurants make?
• 42:11
  I think not positioning themselves properly.
• 42:14
  Like, what are you?
• 42:16
  Who are you?
• 42:16
  Like the storytelling that we talk about.
• 42:19
  So many restaurants have that mistake.
• 42:21
  You'll visit, let's say, their Instagram page and they have like very aesthetically pleasing shots and they don't get anything of it.
• 42:28
  And I speak to the restaurant owners on the other side and they're like, it doesn't do anything.
• 42:32
  I can tell you about a restaurant actually that we're very happy and proud is a client of ours, Art of Prime in Brooklyn.
• 42:39
  And we did a basic simple thing over there.
• 42:41
  He was in a nowhere area, like he's between Flatbush and Brooklyn, like it's between Flatbush and Borough Park.
• 42:47
  It's a challenging, I would say, location.
• 42:49
  But we went on his Instagram.
• 42:50
  We put out the owner on the page.
• 42:52
  And he started making these cute little videos telling people what his restaurant is about, tasting his own food.
• 42:58
  And next thing you know, his page is getting hundreds of thousands of views a month.
• 43:02
  We also invited a lot of bloggers.
• 43:04
  Let the people see and say what they feel about the place.
• 43:10
  Excuse me.
• 43:11
  And the restaurant just did very, very well.
• 43:13
  So I think a lot of restaurants just come out with your story, become relatable, understand your niche.
• 43:18
  A lot of steakhouses will advertise like a bistro.
• 43:21
  A bistro will advertise like a steakhouse.
• 43:23
  Fast food will go.
• 43:25
  Like, you know, these restaurants, I'm sure you've seen, like they'll give you a metal fork but a paper plate.
• 43:30
  Yeah.
• 43:31
  It's like figure out what's going on.
• 43:33
  Are you doing table side service?
• 43:35
  Are you – and I'm not judging because I think it's a brutal industry.
• 43:40
  So I would say just figure out, position yourself well.
• 43:44
  what do you think is the best meal you've ever had not the best restaurant the best meal you've ever
• 43:50
  had um probably i would say chinese really but it's like a love hate relationship because well
• 44:01
  because you're gonna hate it in the bathroom later yeah yeah i got you okay i understood i
• 44:04
  understood the vibe there i stopped by the way chinese is out of my system oh i've heard you're
• 44:09
  I'm going to be healthy.
• 44:10
  Okay.
• 44:11
  Okay.
• 44:11
  Juice by Julie over here.
• 44:14
  But I will say, I will say there's a time and place for Chinese.
• 44:18
  It's Christmas Eve is one of those days.
• 44:21
  But surprisingly, the world of unhealthy foods, they do so much better than the healthy foods.
• 44:29
  Something that I've came to realize lately.
• 44:31
  Like, I mean, Juice by Julie does well because they're tapping into that probably 10, 20% of the market that cares about healthy food.
• 44:39
  The other 80% truly, in my opinion, doesn't care.
• 44:42
  So I think that's in your world.
• 44:43
  In my world, everyone now is obsessed with peptides and everyone's obsessed with aging.
• 44:48
  I'm taking this from your world, by the way.
• 44:50
  Really?
• 44:51
  Yeah.
• 44:51
  I've witnessed the kiddish clubs.
• 44:53
  I've gone into the houses.
• 44:54
  Oh, no, we want the grievance and we want the disgustingness and we want the...
• 44:57
  I see cakes and cookies.
• 44:58
  Like, there's no tomorrow.
• 45:00
  And I actually, I started doing that, which is like more toxic positivity.
• 45:03
  It's like eating the cookie and saying, yes, my body knows how to digest this properly.
• 45:09
  So that's, that's how much I'm into now.
• 45:12
  That's part of my journey with a healthy eating, but I don't think it really works.
• 45:15
  So overall you got to be healthy.
• 45:17
  Yeah.
• 45:17
  Because if you put the 3000 calories into your system, it's not going to manifest into
• 45:22
  200 calories.
• 45:23
  I can, I can tell you that much and I'm not a dietician.
• 45:26
  Yeah.
• 45:27
  Okay.
• 45:27
  We're going to do a little rapid fire to end this, this podcast, if that works for you.
• 45:31
  Okay.
• 45:32
  What is your most underrated kosher restaurant?
• 45:36
  Um.
• 45:41
  I think La Marais.
• 45:42
  I do too.
• 45:43
  I think they're always consistent.
• 45:45
  You're not going to get the best of the best, but you're also getting a perfect meal every time again and again and again.
• 45:51
  They're a few steps away from Times Square.
• 45:54
  They'll be nice to you even if they're full.
• 45:56
  Yeah, they'll let you – they'll get you in.
• 45:58
  And you'll have good vibes.
• 45:59
  Like if you want to go people watching, best place to do it.
• 46:03
  Agreed.
• 46:04
  Agreed.
• 46:04
  That was my first date with my husband was La Marais actually.
• 46:07
  and whenever I go back like I take my kids and I'm like guys we dated here except I ordered chicken
• 46:12
  because I was a loser on a first date because I was like I needed something to cut rather than a
• 46:16
  steak I was stupid and young yeah I also had a viral bid about restaurants I was like saying
• 46:21
  that you can go to a restaurant and spend under a hundred dollars and people were like what wow
• 46:25
  they couldn't believe what I'm saying and I and I I'm really like that I've done now about 30 to 40
• 46:31
  high end dates in the city with my wife, then girlfriend, whatever.
• 46:35
  Like,
• 46:37
  I truly believe that when you go to a restaurant, and as long as you don't take a steak and,
• 46:44
  and a beverage, like a cocktail, there is no reason why it should be above $100.
• 46:50
  Because an average appetizer or a salad is between 20 and $30.
• 46:53
  So let's say you take a
• 46:54
  salad at $30 and you add a protein for another $14.
• 46:59
  That's that with two appetizers gets you
• 47:01
  to a hundred dollars like you don't people think like oh going to a restaurant has to be five six
• 47:05
  hundred dollars why what you don't have to get to the monaco steak like it's okay you'll survive
• 47:10
  without it my husband and i like to go sit at the bar at doma actually and we i don't really drink
• 47:17
  so much anymore because i'm not fun um but i will say we get appetizers and we'll split a steak and
• 47:23
  we can get out of there with a hundred bucks yeah and and all right i like it one steak can also be
• 47:29
  Like you had a steak at 65.
• 47:30
  We slice it.
• 47:31
  I don't need that much food.
• 47:32
  That's number one.
• 47:33
  It's overconsumption.
• 47:34
  But besides that, I just don't think it's necessary.
• 47:37
  And I want to like people watch and hang out.
• 47:39
  So great idea.
• 47:40
  Okay.
• 47:40
  Favorite Jewish holiday?
• 47:51
  It should not be this hard.
• 47:52
  My God.
• 47:53
  I don't know.
• 47:54
  I was never asked this question.
• 47:55
  You didn't put this on the list.
• 47:57
  I know.
• 47:57
  I didn't give him.
• 47:58
  I didn't.
• 47:58
  You told me you wanted it off.
• 48:00
  You didn't want all the answers.
• 48:01
  I'll just say, you know, I never read the list, by the way.
• 48:04
  Oh, my God.
• 48:05
  Okay.
• 48:05
  I asked my wife to read it to me on the way here because I wanted to respect what you wrote, like the fact that there's going to be some.
• 48:12
  But I didn't.
• 48:13
  To me, it just gives me anxiety.
• 48:15
  I'm thinking about the holidays.
• 48:16
  And if you want, I can tell you why.
• 48:17
  Because parts of the holidays, some of them have been, to me, challenging.
• 48:22
  I love to work.
• 48:23
  I love to get out there.
• 48:24
  So while I love the holiday and the time off and whatever, it also to me, I'm constantly thinking about, OK, I want to get back to myself.
• 48:31
  So I think it's something I have to work on.
• 48:34
  But holidays, I think Hanukkah is beautiful.
• 48:38
  OK.
• 48:39
  I think I like Hanukkah.
• 48:40
  Coffee or tea?
• 48:43
  I've been on and off from I've been the coffee guy and people knew me for that.
• 48:46
  I used to sip out of a mug every morning.
• 48:49
  No, no.
• 48:49
  I look forward to a coffee.
• 48:50
  I can post it.
• 48:51
  That was like my thing.
• 48:52
  But now I'm into tea a lot more because it doesn't have that much caffeine and it has.
• 48:58
  Antioxidants.
• 48:58
  Yeah.
• 48:59
  It has L-theanine, green tea.
• 49:02
  So it's a very healthy like antidepressant and yeah.
• 49:06
  Morning person or night owl?
• 49:09
  Night owl, let's say.
• 49:11
  One business book everyone should read?
• 49:14
  Think and Grow Rich.
• 49:16
  Describe your wife in three words.
• 49:20
  Kind.
• 49:21
  Um, beautiful.
• 49:26
  Um, funny.
• 49:29
  I love that.
• 49:30
  I'm going to describe her in three words because I'm obsessed with her also.
• 49:33
  Generous.
• 49:34
  Yeah.
• 49:36
  Sweet.
• 49:38
  And so giving.
• 49:39
  Just so giving.
• 49:41
  She really is the best.
• 49:42
  Okay.
• 49:42
  Describe yourself in three words.
• 49:45
  entertaining
• 49:50
  curious
• 49:57
  positive
• 49:58
  love it
• 50:00
  finally
• 50:00
  if someone listening
• 50:02
  has never stepped outside
• 50:03
  their own Jewish community
• 50:05
  that they grew up in
• 50:06
  what's one thing
• 50:07
  you hope
• 50:08
  they'll do
• 50:08
  after hearing this conversation
• 50:12
  take yourself on a date
• 50:14
  go out with yourself go explore it's okay it's it's it's not everything starts with yourself
• 50:22
  if you don't have a connection to yourself you're just gonna be lost you're just gonna
• 50:26
  make mistakes you're just gonna get hurt i before i dated my wife um i went to the movie theater
• 50:33
  alone and i was petrified i promise you while while the trailers were rolling i ran out because
• 50:39
  I went for like a funny like rom-com and and the trailer you know how they have these trailers of
• 50:45
  a horror movie was rolling I literally ran out of the theater like I was so afraid but I did go on
• 50:52
  a date myself I would go to Starbucks without a phone and just sit there really like an idiot and
• 50:58
  just sit there with myself or spend just two hours alone on a chair not doing anything so I would say
• 51:05
  to this person get get to know yourself know who you are and that will help you with everything
• 51:09
  with business with life with how happy you are with dating more than anything like it's going
• 51:15
  to really help you i think also you know we have to come at an open mind with everyone meaning you
• 51:21
  would have never gotten married to your wife if you were like nope i'm only going to be with this
• 51:25
  type of person or i'm only going to be yeah surrounding myself with this like type of people
• 51:31
  I think that we all need to be a little bit kinder to one another and come at each other with open hearts and open minds and going, I can gain from you and you can gain from me.
• 51:41
  And I'm so grateful and blessed that Hashem gave me an opportunity to get to know you, to get to know this person and to get to know myself.
• 51:50
  And to the core of everything comes back is Hashem, because I've seen that with my business and the clients that, you know, come and go.
• 51:57
  I've seen it with dating, that everything comes back to Hashem.
• 52:01
  While I was friends with my wife, I was dating two other Hasidic girls.
• 52:09
  And I think the reason God did that was just to show me the contrast, the difference.
• 52:16
  you know it was like if you'll ever wonder what it would feel like to date a Hasidic girl
• 52:20
  and obviously those dates really didn't work out well for very different reasons but for bad reasons
• 52:26
  and after that it gave me the confidence and I said you know what I always thought I needed to
• 52:30
  date and marry a Hasidic girl but on one hand you have this and the other hand you have this and
• 52:35
  this is so much better so you know so I'm saying it because everything comes back to Hashem somebody
• 52:41
  else just told me about it it was like he's he's can't decide between two girls i said i said dude
• 52:48
  enjoy the process because god put you into that place enjoy it i had the same i had it with three
• 52:53
  girls which literally i was again he's flexing yeah i'm i but i'm i'm saying it because it's
• 53:00
  such a controversial it makes you think moment but in the same time that's what hashem wanted
• 53:06
  i literally i'll never forget going to the beach i remember where it was i went like a private beach
• 53:11
  Like after Seaside Heights, you can go further down.
• 53:14
  And I was like, God, what do you want from me?
• 53:16
  Why put three girls into my life that are ready to see me and like me?
• 53:21
  And then I clearly got my answer.
• 53:23
  And that's another thing I tell people is like talk to God.
• 53:25
  Because in my experience, every time I do, I get the answer instantly.
• 53:29
  I'm sometimes impatient.
• 53:31
  So he goes direct to me.
• 53:34
  It's like if I ask something, I'll immediately get the answer, a phone call, a thought or something like that.
• 53:40
  But you have to be open to Hashem giving you the answers.
• 53:44
  Also, it's very important.
• 53:46
  I'm a davener in the car, meaning I don't actually pray from the sitter.
• 53:52
  I just talk.
• 53:53
  I talk and we have conversations.
• 53:55
  And I honestly, it's where I find myself most grounded.
• 53:59
  So I love that idea.
• 54:01
  Thank you, Ellie Weber, for joining us.
• 54:03
  We are so grateful.
• 54:05
  Thank you for being here.
• 54:07
  And I can't wait till next week.
• 54:09
  Yeah, thank you.
• 54:10
  Thank you for everything you do for your podcast.
• 54:11
  So great.
• 54:12
  I enjoy following you and the work that you do.
• 54:15
  And thank you to all of my friends and followers and whatever.
• 54:20
  I really appreciate you watching.
• 54:23
  And thank you, DJ.
• 54:24
  Make me look good.
• 54:25
  He doesn't do he doesn't do my edits.
• 54:27
  I'm not going to lie to you.
• 54:29
  Zelly Honig does.
• 54:31
  Some something, you know.
• 54:32
  Thank you, Zelly.
• 54:33
  There we go.
• 54:34
  OK, thank you for coming.