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You've Got Decisions: How Do I Make Him Not Feel Bad For Cheating? + Coke Can D · Decisions, Decisions

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: If you would like to have us answer your questions.
• 0:04
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  Speaker 2: You've got decisions, You've got decisions. Welcome, guys, it is
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: humph Day and welcome to you got decisions. I'm your
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: solo this week, as Weezy is still on her European vaka.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: Becau.
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: I don't even know. I think that's Spanish, but I'm
• 0:37
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  Speaker 2: to decisions Pod at gmail dot com, where we can
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  Speaker 2: give you, guys our unofficially experted non expert as advice.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: Now this week, luckily someone wrote, and they did say
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: that this question is more for me. I also will
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: say I feel slighted by her saying so, and so
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: let's get into it because it's ghetto, as most of
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: your questions are.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: But here we are, here, we are all right. My
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: question is more for men.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: I recently got with a man who lives with his
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: baby mother.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: Red Flag noumetto Ohno.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: Before anyone says anything, I feel like dealing with men
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: in relationships slash married are easier.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: Oh girl, you ain't read the book. Anyways. I've known
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: him for the longest.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: We connected back in high school over thirteen years ago,
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: then fell off because his ex wasn't fond of me
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: talking to him, even though they weren't together.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: Y'all heard it right.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: Fast forward to now, and we've been talking for months.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: Finally made linking up happen, and it was great. After
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: he left, he told me he was gonna try and
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: keep it going as long as possible. Fast forward to
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: Saturday night and he texted me saying that he feels
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: bad even though we've been talking about it and sending
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: videos and pictures to each other. I'm like, what's happening?
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: I think I'm the first girl he stepped out with.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: How do I make him not feel bad? I don't
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: want him just for the sex. I've dealt with men
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: who do it and never had those issues.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: First off, bitch, the only way.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: I would even at all give you any benefit of
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: it oubt is if you were still in your twenties. However,
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: since you said you connected in high school thirteen plus
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: years ago, I'm gonna do the math and.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: Say, did you at least start at one started two,
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: maybe twenty eight, twenty nine.
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: If you on the back end scale and still bit
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: you were two, goddamn old, I want you to want
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: more for yourself.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: I would, I would strongly like to ask.
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: I think asking if you're in therapy is too easy,
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: but I want you to ask the question yourself.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: Why am I seeking or why do I desire? Or
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: why do.
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: I want a relationship with a man who is already
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: committed to someone else? And hear me out, you're saying
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: that you don't just want him for sex. But girl,
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: if he lives with his baby mom, if he's clearly
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: like in an some sort of relationship with her, I
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: think you're demeaning her role as a baby mama if
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: they also live together. But him also he and you
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: telling you that he feels bad about this now also
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: leads me to believe that he is in a monogamous
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: relationship with his baby mama.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: Girl, why do you want to be the side chick?
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: Now?
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: Yes, I talked about being the side check and if.
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: You read the book No Holds Barred, I talked about
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: realizing I was okay with that role because of my
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: lack of security with myself. I was insecure as fuck
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: and didn't think that I deserve to be number one?
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: How do you make him not feel bad for cheating
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: on the woman that he lives with.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: What am I supposed to say to that.
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: Convince him to keep doing wrong by whatever commit me
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: he's already made to another woman to be with you
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: and to lie to you, Because whatever whatever relationship you
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: want from him, he can't give you because it would
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: also be on the foundation of lies. If he is
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: in a relationship with another woman and feels bad, there's
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: no relationship he could possibly have with.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: You that would be real. So are you okay with
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: lying to yourself?
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: Is there no one else that you could go out
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: there and date and be with or commit to?
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: Do you not feel bad? How do you not feel bad.
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: About his even desire to not want to see you anymore?
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: Because what you're doing is wrong? Now listen.
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: I don't know if you knew here, I don't know
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: if you stopped listening, But I don't condone cheaters. And
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: as someone who is ethically not monogamous, everybody gonna know
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: about everybody, And as soon as it doesn't work for somebody,
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: please go and be happy somewhere else. Don't hold me prisoner,
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: don't lie to me, Craig, and I think that's the
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: problem here.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: You want him to not only lie to his partner.
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: Essentially, there's a part of you wanting him to lie
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: to you, and I don't understand that desire. You need
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: to sit with asking yourself those things.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: You also said that.
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: Dealing with man in relationships and that are married are easier,
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: and I want to say it's probably because you lack the.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: Ability to be held accountable.
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: Or don't desire the responsibility that comes with also being
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: in a relationship, because when you're dealing with a man
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: who's already in a relationship, when you're dealing with a
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: man that's married, you're able to also show up and
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: give them the bare minimum.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: And maybe you're comfortable in the bare minimum.
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: That's why you're also wanting him to give you this
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: idea of a relationship.
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: What do you mean you don't just want for sex? Girl?
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: He lives with another woman. Now, listen, I have had
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: my fair share of this. Y'all are more than welcome
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: to call me a hypocrite if you want. I just
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: don't think i've asked ever the question, how do I
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: make a cheating ass nigga not feel bad about the
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: person he's hurting. It kind of says a lot about
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: you as a person honestly, like like, I don't know,
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: like if any now again, you know I've been a
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: side chick, so I'll come from that perspective. I never
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: felt like I was malicious in my intent.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: And if someone felt like.
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: They were committing such adulterous behavior that it literally sunk
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: into them and the guilt ate them up alive, I
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: wouldn't want to be a part of hurting them either.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: You wanting them to continue this affair is kind of
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: showing the selfishness in you too, because how do I
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: make him not feel bad?
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: Girl?
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: Stop telling him it's okay, or stop being a part
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: of the cheating. This doesn't make him feel good. And
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: I think maybe you're you're confusing your pussy power and
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: the emotional labor that it takes to have an affair.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: And while some guys, while some guys may.
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: I feel like it affects them at all emotionally, this
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: is a man who's actually admitting that I feel guilty.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: This doesn't feel good. I don't want to keep doing this.
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: Unfortunately, when you set yourself to be a second or
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: a third, a side, an appetizer for a man in
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: a relationship or a married man. You give him all
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: of the power to walk away when he is ready
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: to walk away because there isn't any commitment there, not
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: to you, and knowing that you want more than sex,
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: I wonder if you also express that and that's what's
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: making him not feel good.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: Baby. He might just want the pussy.
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: He might not want to be responsible for your feelings
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: or feel like he got to show up and feel
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: like he has to get on a schedule with you.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: And so in twenty twenty six, we're halfway through the year.
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: Please I implore you to sit with what it is
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: that you actually want from a man and why, and
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: be able to communicate that. But I will say I
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: think it is delulu to want to say that you
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: don't just want sex and you would like more from
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: a man who's currently in a relationship or married and
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: is not ethically nominogamous. Jesus, I feel like I kind
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: of feel a way that you was like this is
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: for me Andy because she's a side chick ass.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: Ho like girl no bad anyways, hope that I'm able
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: to help you with that again. Jesus.
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: All right, before we get out of here, I'm gonna
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: get into one more.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: Because why not.
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: This seems like an easy one, and actually it's giving
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: some uh backstory too, him.
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: Danny, and Wheezy.
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: Before I jump into my question, I wanted to say
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: I love you guys. I love seeing how much you
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: both have grown as individuals and as a unit.
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: As a longtime Patreon listener, it feels like love and
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: it's magnetic.
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: And congratulations on your engagement, Wheezy, Now answer my question.
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: I matched with a guy on a dating app. He
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: pinged me, and I thought it was attractive enough to
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: match with. I liked his profile and intro line to me.
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: I messaged, and he messaged back quickly. Before I knew it,
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: we were in a full text exchange. He asked me
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: within a few messages if I was okay with girth
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: as well as length. I thought, finally a nigga with
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: some size, so I said yes, I was okay with it.
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: He proceeded to explain further about his coke can sized dick, stating,
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: I asked, because my girth is that of a coke can. Literally,
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: My interest was piqued, I'm thinking King Noir, he continued,
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: saying that women have gohested in before. Because of this,
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: he asked for permission to send me a picture of it,
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: and I obliged, y'all. When he sent me the picture,
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: I was taken aback. He sent several pictures, including one
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: where he is actually holding the coke can next to
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: his dick, so you can see the comparison, y'all, she
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: sent the picture.
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: I was shocked.
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: I asked him about condoms again, curious, and he sent
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: me a link to a site that sells specialty condoms
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: for big dick niggas, stating he wears the largest size
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: for win. Did y'all know that this site existed? His
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: dick is so thick I thought that can't be normal.
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: My question is, have you two ever come across a
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: dick like this before? I feel bad about thinking about
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: ghosting him already. I now understand why women do, because
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: how do you say you're not sticking that in me?
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: Nicely? Please help? Sincerely, Scared Kitty. Now.
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: The website that she is saying, I will tell y'all
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: now before I get into it, is pro dotmsize dashcondoms
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: dot com yeah, this is not an ad pro dot
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: my size dashcondoms dot com and I'm looking on here
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: now and yeah, they literally have it for slender dicks
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: like pencil dicks and apparently cokecansize dicks.
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: Now it's funny because yes.
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: I have had a dick so big, face to face
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: bitch that I was like, yeah, no, I've mentioned it
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: on the pod before, and I know Wheezy his mentioned
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: hospital dick where she called him that because he allegedly
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: had sent someone to the hospital before and like tilted
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: their pelvis or whatever.
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: Now for me, I was face to face with this
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: big dick.
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: Okay, he was crippled at the time, like he was
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: getting around in a scooter, and so I went to
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: his house and.
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: Was thinking, okay, well.
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: You could at least be all your knees. We could
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: do doggy style type shit, you feel me? And Babe,
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: when he pulled that dick out of his goddamn shorts,
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: I said, what the fuck am I gonna do with this?
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: He had also let me know like his foot needed
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: to be elevated, so I would have to.
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: Get on top.
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: If you know anything about me, bitch, I'm not getting
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: on top Secondly, as I put it in my mouth,
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: I never felt so incompetent in my.
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: Whole entire life.
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: What do you mean, I can't suck past the head.
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: There's a part of sex that is psychologically induced for
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: a woman, Like yes, there's words of affirmation, there's moaning,
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: there's things like that, but also there's self assurance where
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: your partner doesn't have to say a word, but you.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: Know you're doing a good job.
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: And I had this dick in my mouth, and when
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: I tell you, I just felt like I went into
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: an exam with no studying for a lesson when.
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: I slept all through class that week, Like you.
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: Know, like when you start a new lesson, you're like okay,
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: and then you got.
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: To take the quiz. I felt like.
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: I was unprepared for the quiz of dick sucking, and
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: so I sucked it.
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: My jaw hurt.
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: I clearly didn't come in with the right exercises, and
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, that's it. And we never hooked
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: up past that, because what am I doing with all
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: of that?
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: Which is the funny part, right, I do like to
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: consider myself a size queen.
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: And what's funny is people talk about how women shade
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: little dicks all the time.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: I actually know more girls like you, Scared Kitty. I
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: know more.
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: Girls like you who are not trying to have their
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: insides rearranged every time they've been over, because that's shit.
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: Hired this like, there's like a thin line between pain
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: being pleasure and pain being pain.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: Babe.
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: I will say I did not know that this big
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: dick condom site existed.
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: I will also say, if you.
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: Are someone that doesn't feel like this would be pleasurable,
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: you are at the perfect time to ghost this man.
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: The fact that he also said several people have ghosted
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: him because of this before God join the group.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: Unless you want to check it out for research purposes,
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: then I'm always here for that.
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: Well, Scared Kitty, thank you for your email.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: I would love to know if you see him or not.
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: I would absolutely love that. Other than that, for the
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: first listener letter.
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: Babe, love yourself. It's twenty twenty six, Love your self.
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: Again. If you want to submit.
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: A listener letter to us, send your whole mail on
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: over to decisions Pod at gmail dot com and you.
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: Will get some advice from us.
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: Hope you enjoyed this. Hope you guys are enjoying your summer.
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: Go football and shout out to everyone. Hope you all
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: enjoyed your weekend or you enjoyed Yeah, you enjoyed your
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: Fourth of July weekend. Anyways, guys, Weezy will be bike
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: nixt week pull th all. Thank you guys, and again
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: send your letters into Decisions Pod at gmail dot com
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: until next week.
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: Bye,