Latest / Destination Unlimited with Victor Fuhrman / Dr. Rita Louise – Dang! It Was Me All Along?

Transcript

Dr. Rita Louise – Dang! It Was Me All Along? · Destination Unlimited with Victor Fuhrman

0:04
My name is Victor Furman. Some call me the Voice. I've always been
0:11
fascinated with human nature, spirituality, science and the crossroads at which they meet.
0:17
Join me now and we will explore these topics and so much more with
0:22
fascinating guests, authors and experts who will guide us to Destination Unlimited. Psychologist
0:36
Carl Rogers said, the curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as
0:42
I am, then I can change. But self acceptance is a challenge for
0:47
most of us, especially in a world of outer and inner critics. What
0:52
tools are available to us that will enhance our self awareness, promote self acceptance,
0:57
and lead to positive change. My guest this week on Destination Unlimited,
1:03
Doctor Rita Luise, says that we may cultivate happiness and bring about change through
1:07
self awareness. Doctor Rita is a best selling author and founder of the Institute
1:12
of Applied Energetics. She is also the producer of a number of full length
1:18
and feature videos. Doctor Rita has appeared on film, radio, and television,
1:23
and has spoken at conferences around the world covering such topics as health and
1:26
healing, relationships, ghosts, intuition, ancient mysteries, and the paranormal.
1:34
Her website is Soulhealer dot com, and she joins me this week to discuss
1:38
her latest book, Dang It was me all along, Cultivate Happiness through Mindful
1:45
Awareness. Please join me in welcoming to Destination Unlimited, Doctor Rita Louise Hi,
1:52
Rita, welcome back. Hey Victor, it is so nice to be
1:55
able to hang out here with you for an hour and your listeners. I'm
1:59
so excited. I am too. You know, it's been almost four years
2:02
since the last time you're on three and a half years when you had your
2:06
book out called The Dysfunctional Dance of the Mpath and the Narcissist. We'll talk
2:10
a little bit about that when we get started. But Rita, you've been
2:14
described as having and I quote fran Dresser's delivery without the wine. What a
2:20
funny kind of compliment. Huh. It's a true statement. Somebody came up
2:25
to me at a conference and made that statement. I'm like, I am
2:30
so stealing that absolutely for our listeners meeting you for the first time. Please
2:37
share your path and how it led to the amazing work you bring to our
2:40
world. Well, you know, I'm going to kind of take a different
2:43
angle. So I joke around and say, my day job is working as
2:46
a naturopathic physician, a medical intuitive, an intuitive counselor, and an energy
2:53
medicine practitioner. So that's what I do for my day job, where I
2:55
work with people from around the world, helping them to get clarity in their
3:00
lives, whether it's a physical issue, an emotional issue, a spiritual issue.
3:06
You know, I'll talk to you about anything but dead people's That's kind
3:08
of my role. But one of the things that has come up a lot
3:15
lately in conversations that I'm having with people is I do what feels right to
3:20
me. You know. People are like, well, you do all of
3:23
this stuff, you know, and how do you do that? I'm like,
3:28
but I do what feels right to me, and I do what I'm
3:30
driven to do, whether it's write a book, produce a movie, and
3:36
it just I don't know, keeps it fresh, keeps me moving forward,
3:39
and it keeps me in a lot of joy in the things that I do
3:45
all the time. Absolutely, when did you recognize your intuitive gifts and the
3:50
healing path? Ensue? So I started on my spiritual path when I was
3:54
like twelve or thirteen and see Victim gild Get this one. When the was
4:00
the TV series The Amazing Creskin. You had ESP, and I wanted to
4:05
have ESP. But it wasn't until I was about thirty that I signed up
4:12
at the Berkeley Psychic Institute and studied with them. So in the meantime,
4:16
I already had this giant library of metaphysical books and I knew all of this
4:21
stuff, but I could never figure out how to tap into my intuition.
4:27
And after being in their program for three weeks, I discovered that I had
4:31
been very intuitive my entire life, and no one ever connected the dots for
4:36
me, like, if you have this kind of experience that is a psychic
4:41
experience, it's like, oh, who had guessed? And so it took
4:46
what I thought was going to be this arduous journey of learning how to do
4:50
this into oh, I've been doing this my whole life, and this is
4:55
what you want me to do. It's like, Okay, I know how
4:57
to do that already. When you were a kid and you started having these
5:02
thoughts and ideas, what was the reaction of those around you? You know,
5:08
I don't know how to answer that because I never correlated what was going
5:15
on with me to being intuitive, you know, or that there was anything
5:21
abnormal or out of the box tied to it. You know, I would
5:27
just kind of chalk it up to like, wow, that was a lucky
5:30
thing to say or a good choice that I made. But it was never
5:35
you know, I have this vision and you know, and this and this
5:40
and this. I mean, it was never put out that way just me.
5:44
You were never told that you had an overactive imagination the way I was
5:46
when I was a kid. No, no, see, but you have
5:51
to understand, my mom was a big sci fi you know, I'm going
5:59
to chunk her into the conspiracy theory world. She loved that series The Prisoner
6:04
with Patrick McGowin. Yes, you know, so that I grew up on,
6:09
you know, sci fi movies and Twilight Zone and that whole genre,
6:15
and so, you know, imagination was what we had. The only thing
6:20
is when I would say to my parents, they would say, where's he
6:24
getting this from? Of an overactive imagination? And so on. You were
6:29
the founder of the Institute of Applied Energetics. What's the curriculum that the school
6:33
offers? So it is a professional level training program for people that are interested
6:41
in becoming a medical intuitive intuitive counselor or energy medicine practitioner. There's the Feeder
6:47
course, which is a bet called spiritual Growth for personal healing or something like
6:53
that, where you get to learn how to work with your own energy.
6:59
You know how to ground your body and coordinate with your aura, and there's
7:05
some healing techniques and techniques for looking at your own chakras and possibly clearing them,
7:13
and that just kind of opens the door to helping you work with other
7:16
people. And it's a very gradual process, you know. And my big
7:21
thing that I tell people is I am not teaching you how to be psychic.
7:27
I am not teaching you how to be intuitive. I am just creating
7:30
situations for you so that you can experience what you already have, because I
7:35
believe we all have that gift and that ability granted on a spectrum of different
7:41
people. But it's not about me teaching you how to do it. It's
7:46
about making it so that you can recognize what you already have. How can
7:50
listeners find out more about the Institute of Applied Energetics so they can go to
7:56
my website Applied Energetics Institute dot com. Applied Energetics Institute dot com and actually
8:05
there's a free fifty page download that they can get that's called Jumpstart your Intuition
8:11
that they can download and actually start learning how to tap into their gifts.
8:16
Wonderful. Now, the last time you were on with me was in twenty
8:20
twenty and discussing your best selling book, The Dysfunctional Dance of the Mpath and
8:26
the Narcissist Create Healthy Relationships by healing childhood trauma. What inspired that book and
8:33
what did you share with your readers. Well, you know that book ties
8:37
into my new books, So I'm just going to put it all in one
8:39
story because they blend. If that's okay, absolutely okay. So I had
8:50
ended a relationship with a gentleman and the word narcissist came up and it entered
8:56
my awareness. I mean, it was becoming a more popular world in the
9:01
vernacular. And discovered that the gentleman I was with wasn't a narcissist. And
9:09
when I started really kind of doing a self review, I realized that most
9:15
of the romantic relationships I was in was with narcissists, and many of the
9:20
friendships I had was with narcissists, and that my mom was pretty narcissistic herself,
9:28
and so it caused me to do this deep dive into what that was
9:33
and what the dynamics were and how did I get here in the first place.
9:39
And you know, I mean, I'm really big about Okay, so
9:43
this is my experience and this is my journey, but presenting it in a
9:48
way so that the reader can use the tools to discover themselves. And so
10:01
it was just really my journey and you know, but not in a you
10:05
know, again, it's my journey, but it's not in a Oh,
10:13
I can't think it's not a memoir. How's that it's it's it's not a
10:16
memoir. But in understanding what was going on and what was going on in
10:22
this relationship dynamic and what do I need to watch out for and what do
10:26
I need to do and here's some tools for healing and et cetera, et
10:31
cetera, et cetera. And the book ends with a message of hope.
10:37
And I had just met this gentleman when I was finishing up the book,
10:41
and I had thought I had solved all of my relationship issues and I figured
10:46
that I was going to give it a try in this new relationship. Well,
10:52
Victor I failed miserably and ended up with yet an other narcissist. Who
11:03
he was it was, I mean, he wasn't abusive, he just wasn't
11:07
a good person. How's that okay? And so when that relationship ended,
11:13
you know, it was the end of COVID. My practice was not doing
11:18
very good at the time, and I really had to reevaluate what was going
11:24
on. I was looking to get a day job, which I haven't had
11:26
a day job in years, and really all I wanted at that point in
11:33
time was to be happy. And I also discovered that there wasn't anybody to
11:39
point my finger at of why I wasn't happy anymore, or why I wasn't
11:45
happy in the first place, or experiencing some level of contentment. And so
11:50
I went and started to look to see if happiness was something that could be
11:56
cultivated the us, the spawning of my latest book, Dang It was Me
12:05
all Along, where it's another deep dive into what's going on inside of us
12:13
so that we can make changes, because you can actually teach yourself how to
12:20
be happy and how to look at the world from not a convetching place,
12:24
but from a place of gratitude. And I was like, well, if
12:28
I can do this, I'm all about it. I was all in and
12:33
again went on this deep dive, went on this journey and did a lot
12:39
of work on myself, which was remarkably easy, and wrote a book.
12:46
You know, the last time, prior to your book title, the last
12:48
time I heard the word dang was when Roger Miller had a hit in nineteen
12:54
sixty four with the song dang me, Dang me, dang me. They
12:58
ought to take a rope and hang me high from the highest three woman,
13:01
would you weep for me? And I remember that lyric very very well.
13:03
And any event, your latest book, as you said, is entitled Dang.
13:07
It was me all along, Cultivate Happiness through mindful Awareness. The word
13:13
dang seems to have a Southwest US origin. What's the definition of the expression
13:18
of the word dang, I don't know, but there were a few other
13:22
words that I could have put there, and I felt that this was the
13:24
least defensive. And there were people that didn't even want me to use the
13:31
dang word, but I felt it was explanatory. You know, It's like
13:37
you know that knock up the side of the head where you go kind I
13:41
should have had a V eight kind of feeling. If the word ended in
13:45
MN instead of ng, you'd have an understanding of where that expression came from.
13:50
And I guess people didn't want to use the damn word, so they
13:52
used the dang word so as not to offend others. So the book Dang
13:56
It was Me All Along sounds like a personal revelation leading to perhaps taking responsibility
14:03
for what has ensued in our lives? What inspired this book? Okay,
14:09
hang on one second. There's someone like shooting something off outside, which is
14:13
making the doctor com here, dang that person? Well, I mean,
14:24
you know I have a car backfiry or sorry about that? All right?
14:33
Now you have doctor Rita and Raylan all in on this. Okay, so
14:37
did you repeat the question please? Certainly? So your book Dang It was
14:41
Me All Along sounds like a personal revelation leading to perhaps taking responsibility for what
14:48
has ensued in our lives. What was the inspiration behind that you talked about
14:52
the relationship? What else inspired this? Well, I mean I just wanted
14:58
to be happy and not. I mean, this isn't going to sound weird,
15:05
and you know me pretty well, Victor. You know, I just
15:07
felt very negative that my world was negative, that I was negative all the
15:11
time, and I didn't want to be that way, you know. I
15:16
didn't want to be a chronic complainer anymore. I wanted to just have things
15:24
be better, you know. And I didn't know how to do it,
15:28
and I wasn't sure what you were supposed to do to make that happen.
15:33
And so that was the goal. That was the inspiration, to find out
15:37
what I needed to do to make that happen. And please share with our
15:41
listeners who's a company you're right now? Because we hear someone else there?
15:45
So this is Raylan. So there again there's somebody outside like shooting something off
15:50
which is making him be better than barking. What kind of dog is Raylan?
16:03
He's a poodle? A poodle. That was a pretty low voice.
16:10
I'm a poodle kind of gal. Yes, absolutely, so you begin,
16:15
dang, it was me all along. By sharing what you referred to as
16:19
our mysterious inner world and describing the conscious and the subconscious minds, many have
16:26
misconceptions about both, So set us straight. What are the conscious mind and
16:32
the subconscious mind? Sure? So the conscious mind is the mind that we
16:38
are consciously aware of, you know, So we might be thinking about what
16:42
we're going to have for dinner, or we might be thinking about the cat
16:47
that's walking across the room, or what the heck is going on outside of
16:52
my house that's making these like backfire noises, like right outside my house.
16:57
That's weird. But it's whatever is in our I'm gonna say visual awareness,
17:03
even though it's not visual. But that is only a very small band of
17:10
what is going on inside of us. You know. There's also the subconscious
17:15
mind that pretty much records everything that is going on in our world around us.
17:19
All of our experiences get put into there, you know, and it's
17:25
also made up of the ego and our inner critic. I mean, there
17:29
are a number of different parts. And one of the things that happens is
17:33
that we have experiences in our lives. You know. So you made the
17:38
comment about you know, not using your imagination, and that apparently stuck with
17:45
you and move forward with you to as a subconscious program that on some levels
17:57
directed your life. Because you know, it's like, oh, well,
18:00
you know, they want me to be creative, but I'm not creative.
18:03
I'm not supposed to be creative. You know. That's all going on on
18:07
a subconscious level, And so as we grow up and experience life and have
18:12
interactions with people and life experiences, we develop these little internal programs that control
18:21
us. And so many of us are actually living our lives on autopilot,
18:27
just doing whatever we do with the thought that we can't really change it.
18:33
You know. So something happens, we have a reaction to it, and
18:40
we may act in a certain way or not act in a certain way because
18:44
of this reaction. And that's all based on the programming that is happening in
18:49
the subconscious mind, you know. So it can lead us to victory or
18:53
it can lead us to the agony of defeat. And it really just depends
18:57
on what our internal programming tells us. And in my situation, being told
19:03
as a child when I would share things that I had no real visual or
19:07
physical source for and being labeled as having an overactive imagination led me to practice
19:12
the fact that if I did experience something, I didn't tell anybody because I
19:15
didn't want to be labeled as a kid with an overactive imagination. And it
19:18
took well into my thirties and early forties before I was able to open up
19:23
and share these experiences again. So absolutely that programming is very powerful. What
19:30
is the source of our emotions and how may we understand and learn to control
19:36
them. So our emotions are visceral reactions that happen, you know, So
19:44
we have a thought and based on that programming, we have some kind of
19:49
an emotional reaction. And so it's not that we can change our emotions,
19:56
but we can use our emotions as kind of a roadmap to what is going
20:03
on. So I had this situation happen and it left me feeling good,
20:08
and or it left me feeling happy or content or satisfied. Or we can
20:15
have a situation happen and it leaves us in a cycle of anxiety or worry,
20:19
or you know, an active program where well, I don't think I'm
20:23
going to tell anybody about that because that was just too weird and I need
20:26
to hide ecause I have an overactive imagination come into play. And so,
20:33
you know, one of the things that I really talk about in the book
20:37
is you know about paying attention to what is going on in our emotions,
20:41
and emotional experiences are a really good indicator of what, you know, what
20:49
program is being activated or not. Love that and of course a lot of
20:56
that has to do with the negative emotions, including fear. How do we
21:00
learn to control that? Well, I'm going to preface that with a there
21:07
was a study done that said that eighty percent of our thinking is negative.
21:15
Eighty percent of our eighty just eighty And you know, and I'm sitting there,
21:22
you know, we sit all right back up, damn, we sit
21:26
there and think most of us I know me. You know that there are
21:30
all these happy people out there, and you know they're enjoying life and they're
21:34
happy and they don't have negative thoughts. Well, when I saw that number,
21:40
see this, the whole journey was just so encouraging to be. When
21:44
I saw that number, I didn't feel so screwed up, because if eighty
21:49
percent of our thinking is negative, they weren't talking about me, and they
21:52
weren't talking about you. They were talking about people in general. But fear
21:59
is youually the driver for many of our negative thoughts. You know, and
22:04
I can say this on your show and your listeners, I'm sure we'll get
22:07
it. But fear is an emotion that's tied to the first chakra, and
22:14
our first chakra is where we ground the body. And so when we have
22:18
a situation happen that induces a fear response, which activates our fight or flight
22:25
or fear response system. It makes our first chakra shut down and harder to
22:33
let go. But when you stop and take a breath or take a little
22:38
moment to acknowledge the fear or acknowledge the situation or acknowledge it's like, Wow,
22:45
you know I just had this response. It allows you to let go
22:49
of the fear and address things more in the present moment, more in the
22:55
here and now. My guest is doctor Rita Luise. A new book is
23:00
entitled Dang It was Me all along. Cultivate happiness through mindful awareness. Rita,
23:06
please share with our listeners where they can get all of your books and
23:08
find out more about you and your amazing work. Sure, they can go
23:11
to my website which is sole Healer dot com. That's Soulehealer dot com,
23:17
and all of my books are available on that site. They're also available on
23:21
Amazon dot com, Warren's and Noble, all the major retailers. And one
23:25
more time, your Institute of Applied Energetics the website Applied Energetics Institute dot com.
23:32
But worst case scenario, if you may click on the training link on
23:36
the Soul Healer dot com web page. It will also not take them there,
23:41
but it'll take them to that free download minimally. And that's that fifty
23:45
page document that you share, Yes, sir, and we'll be back with
23:48
more of doctor Rita after these words. On the Own Times Radio network,
23:53
the best of the holistic, spiritual and conscious world Own Times Radio. Home
24:00
Times Magazine is one of the leading online content providers of positivity, wellness,
24:06
and personal empowerment. A philanthropic organization, their net proceeds are finaled to support
24:11
worldwide charity initiatives via Humanity Healing International. Through their commitment to creating community and
24:18
providing conscious content, they aspire to uplift humanity on a global scale. Home
24:22
Times co creating a more conscious lifestyle. Hello. I'm Sandy sedgeby a host
24:27
of Home Times Magazine's flagship radio show What is going On? My passion is
24:33
sifting through information, research and innovations from new thought teachers, speakers and researchers,
24:40
pushing back the boundaries of what we know about life, energy, metaphysics,
24:44
and the universe. I love shifting perceptions about who we are, why
24:48
we're here, and how quickly impossible becomes normal when we open our minds,
24:52
expand our awareness, and accept that the only limits that exist are those we
24:57
place upon ourselves. So if you're the kind of forward thinking, eager investigator
25:03
of what lies beyond the current reality that most perceive, why not make a
25:07
date to come play with me in the Field of Possibilities at four pm Pacific
25:11
time seven pm Eastern Time every Thursday, and together we can discover what's really
25:18
going on. This is the story of a very special woman. Just a
25:22
few knew about her superpowers. In a matter of seconds, she turned herself
25:26
into a great mathematician. She masqueraded as a regular person at work, but
25:30
as a superhero at home. Everyone knows her as Gabriella. I still call
25:34
her mom. Your hero needs you now, and AARP is here to help
25:41
find the care guides you need to help. Complete with tips and resources at
25:45
AARP dot org, slash Caregiving brought you by AARP and the ad Console back
25:49
on Destination Unlimited. My guest this week my dear friend, doctor Rita Luise.
25:55
Her book is entitled Dang It was Me all Along. Cultivate happiness through
26:00
mindful awareness. The title Dang It was me all along implies self awareness with
26:07
all of the noise and distraction that our world offers. What are some of
26:11
the ways we may cultivate self awareness? I mean, to me, the
26:18
biggest thing is about just paying attention to what's going on. You know,
26:26
we something happens and we have a reaction to it, or we feel bad
26:32
and we're not really understanding why, you know, just stopping and taking that
26:37
pause. And actually, I'm going to even make it simpler having curiosity,
26:44
having curiosity about why we're doing the things that we're doing. And Okay,
26:49
so I had this interaction and I acted this way, but now on the
26:56
backside, I'm not feeling good. So what can I do different so that
27:03
in the end I don't feel good? Because the goal is what do I
27:06
need to do to be happy? You know, and not in a narcissistic
27:10
I'm going to take stuff from you, But what do I need to do
27:14
to be happy? And so if I have to change how I interact with
27:18
people, how I'm running my life, if it's gonna leave me feeling happy
27:23
and feeling joyful and experiencing gratitude, it's all good. I agree with you
27:32
one hundred percent. But how many people actually get into that mindset? They
27:37
don't. That's the point of the book, you know. And I bring
27:44
up these concepts to people and they're like, God, it's really hard,
27:48
or it's gonna be a lot of work, and and and and my experience,
27:55
Victor, was that it was really really easy. You just had to
28:03
do it. And the thing that I can liken it to the most is
28:10
dieting. Dieting is not hard. You don't have to live weights, you
28:15
don't have to like dress differently, you don't have to do anything differently except
28:21
change your relationship with food, period. And you do that on a day
28:26
by day basis, on a situation by situation basis. But it has to
28:33
become part of your life. It needs to become the go to thing and
28:37
become part of your lifestyle versus you know, especially when dealing with your negative
28:42
thoughts or toxic emotions, something that you try to pull out of the drawer,
28:48
you know, when everything's falling apart and going, well, how come
28:52
these tools aren't working? You know, they work if, like dieting,
28:56
you do it every day, a little bit of every day. You know,
29:00
Oh, I feel like my energy is dropping, you know, what,
29:03
I'm just going to stop for a second and take a few deep breaths
29:07
or you know whatever the tool is that you choose to use in that moment.
29:15
See the old joke when someone says it hurts when I go like this,
29:18
and the answer is, oh, don't go like this. How many
29:21
times do we have to be hurt before we recognize that we are not taught
29:27
to pay attention to what's going on on the inside. And one of the
29:33
things factor this was one of the things that I found so fascinating, was
29:37
that in my research, I am looking at higher vibrating emotions because when you
29:48
are in a place of happiness or joy or contentment or whatever, you have
29:53
higher vibrating emotions. And when your emotions are vibrating higher, you don't have
30:00
negative thinking. You know, you can get knocked out of the higher vibrating
30:04
emotions, but when you're in them, you don't have negative thinking. And
30:10
that was just such a simple concept to me. But when you look at
30:14
the literature, like you know, articles and books or whatever, they don't
30:18
address it. And when you look at what comes out of like psychotherapy or
30:26
counseling, they don't address it. And these are the people that kind of
30:30
have the market on happiness, but they can't really give you tools to get
30:37
there really, you know, Psychologist Carl Rogers said, and this is a
30:44
quote, the curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am,
30:51
then I can change. In your book, dang, it was me
30:55
all along. You offer readers a series of steps to affect change in their
30:59
life, but it starts with having the courage to change. Why is affecting
31:03
change an act of courage? Because sometimes there are there are moments where you
31:18
I'm just going to tell it in a story. So one of my my
31:22
personal big issues, not that anybody would believe this, but is communicating my
31:27
wants and needs to someone, especially that I'm very close to. And you
31:33
know, so there have been, I mean, there's been a lot of
31:37
situations throughout my life where this has just become the the the bane of my
31:45
existence, you know. But and we were talking, you know, and
31:48
I'm in a new relationship and I want it to be different. I want
31:52
to be in it and be healthy. And so there was a situation that
31:56
happened and it was bothering me, and so I'm in this hole like ruminating
32:01
bothering me, bothering me, but I'm not saying anything because that's my pattern,
32:07
that's my read, a cloak of invisibility. And I had to sit
32:12
there and go, you know, if you're ruminating, it means that there's
32:15
something that you need to do or something that you need to say, so
32:20
just freaking say it. And it was kind of a white notckle experience of
32:25
making that communication. And so sometimes that's the part that's scary is when you
32:32
actually have to like walk your walk and talk your talk because you're bringing in
32:37
behaviors or thoughts that you've never had before, and it can be scary.
32:45
Absolutely. You know the old joke about the Dalai Lama is attending a session
32:50
at the United Nations and he walks outside and there's a hot dog vendor outside,
32:54
and he walks up to the hot dog vendor and says, make me
32:58
one with everything, and then he hands the hot dog vendor. That's the
33:00
joke. Part of the joke, doctor that's the hot dog vendor of twenty
33:05
dollars billion. He waits and he waits and he says, what about change?
33:07
And the hot dog vendor says, truly you have all people would know
33:10
that change comes from within. That's good. But Victory, you brought something
33:17
up about accepting the self, and that's when change is possible. And I
33:27
want to share with readers. I don't remember if I talked about it in
33:30
the book. I'm just gonna share it anyway. So I have, like,
33:34
all right, So in the house that I'm in now, there's actually
33:37
literally a library, you know, study. There's a lot of shelves that
33:42
I got a lot of books on, and there are so many self help
33:46
books about you know, fixing this and fixing that and fixing this and whatever.
33:52
In my effort of finding happiness. I mean, this has kind of
33:57
followed me all along. But what I discovered was all of those books just
34:06
validated how broken you were and just reminded you of how screwed up you were.
34:14
And so when I went into this exploration, I put I stopped watching
34:20
videos on YouTube, I stopped doing all of those things because they weren't fixing
34:27
me. They were just telling me how much I was messed up. And
34:31
I said, you know what, You're just gonna have a clean slate because
34:35
you're just you and apparently you're doing okay, and you know, you're kind
34:37
of smart, and you know, people like you and so you So now
34:45
the only books on your shelves are the ones you've written. Is that correct?
34:49
Oh? I wish now they just sit on the shelves, you know,
34:52
and I pull them out for research or whatever. Yeah. So,
34:59
but I just want to say to people, you know, I thought that
35:00
that was just such a critical thing. Like, you know, one of
35:05
the things that I was reading after that other breakup was about codependency and people
35:13
pleasing and all of these topics which weren't making me feel any better. And
35:19
it's like, well, you know, maybe you just need to stop that
35:22
and focus on something different, focus on feeling better, which meant don't read
35:30
those books anymore. So I'm not, and you know what, I feel
35:34
better. That's wonderful. Thank you for sharing that. But again, if
35:38
you have those books, shelves lined with books, and you find some help
35:43
from those books and some piece in those books, don't throw them away yet,
35:45
or don't give them away yet. Rather, we don't want to throw
35:47
them away. I just don't want to give them away yet. Hang on
35:50
to them until you're ready to release them. Well, you know, I
35:52
live in Texas and I like going to estate sales, and I always always
35:59
go look on the bookshelf because you never know. And I have to tell
36:02
you, I think if I had to stay sale and those books were for
36:07
sale, they would shock a lot of people around here. Absolutely. Now
36:13
many of those I know suffer from procrastination. I was actually going to put
36:19
this question off until later, and I'm just kidding. What advice do you
36:22
offer to procrastinators? I got the joke, Victor, thank you, thank
36:29
you so For people that find that they're not moving forward, my suggestion is
36:37
pick one thing you know and and do it. And so if it's a
36:43
big project, okay, so I just bought a project house, which it's
36:46
at times it's extremely mentally overwhelming, and I will sit there and go,
36:54
okay, so what am I doing today? So today's project is I'm going
37:00
to sand baseboards. That's today's project. And so if it's a big project,
37:06
maybe not a house restoration that you need to do, then break it
37:10
down in the little pieces, you know, like, well, it's going
37:14
to take me about an hour to stand the baseboards, and that's how much
37:16
energy I want to put in. And I'll do that, you know,
37:20
and instead of being overwhelmed. So if you need to clean out your closets,
37:24
you know, pick one area or you know, clean out one drawer
37:30
or empty one box, you know. And whether it's you pick the project
37:36
that you're going to work on, the little mini project, or you say,
37:39
well, I'm going to invest this much time into it. You know,
37:44
I'm going to invest twenty minutes into it and it'll be twenty minutes done.
37:51
What I have found is that people that tend to procrastinate beat themselves up
37:55
because they procrastinate. It's like, well, you know, well I really
37:59
wanted to get this done, but I didn't get it done, and you
38:01
know, it's still there. And when they actually like put the effort in
38:08
and do their little mini projects and they get it done, then it doesn't
38:15
nag at them anymore. Shock it Now. Now that's physical activity and projects
38:23
and work things, work related things. What about procrastinating affecting change in their
38:30
lives. Well, I don't know that I have it, I mean,
38:36
but I think it would be the same thing, you know, just making
38:38
that agreement with yourself that I am going to do this, you know.
38:45
I feel like it's more of making a commitment to yourself. You know whether
38:52
it's emptying out a drawer or practicing a mindfulness technique, or making the choice
39:00
you respond to something in a different way. But I think bottom line,
39:06
it all comes down to making that commitment to yourself and following through on the
39:09
commitment. One of the things that I've shared with people that I've officiated funerals
39:14
for and people have had memorial services, is that tomorrow is never guaranteed.
39:20
If you love someone, tell them today. If you have hurt someone,
39:24
ask for forgiveness today, and if they have hurt you, offer forgiveness today,
39:30
because tomorrow is never guaranteed. Those are important aspects of procrastination, putting
39:36
off doing those things because when you lose someone, it's too late to say
39:38
I loved you or I'm sorry or I forgive you, isn't it exactly?
39:45
I never, you know, I never put that mindset into the procrastination rom
39:52
and said thank you for that, victor, because I love that. I
39:57
love that. But it's so true. You offer a tool called the seventeen
40:02
second rule. What is it and how does it work? I love the
40:07
seventeen second rule. It's probably one of my personal favorites. So the seventeen
40:13
second rule is like the five second rule. You know, you have a
40:16
piece of food, it falls on the floor in the kitchen, you pick
40:20
it up, you maybe blow it off five seconds. It's so valid and
40:24
viable at five seconds. So the seventeen second rule is very similar to that,
40:30
except it states if I have a negative thought, I have seventeen seconds
40:37
to shift that thought into something else. You know, it could be a
40:43
positive thought, it could be anything, or interrupt the flow of the thought
40:50
because and this is an Esther Hicks concept, because if you wait for the
40:57
seventeen seconds or you don't pay attention to it, the thought gets more momentum,
41:01
and then after another seventeen seconds it might branch off into a tangent thought
41:08
that might be just as bad, you know, And the longer you wait,
41:14
the harder it is to put the genie back in the box. And
41:19
so and to me, that is especially with well with any kind of thinking.
41:27
That really is the key, because the sooner you can catch it,
41:30
the sooner you can shift it. Listen, that five second rule, it
41:35
depends on whose house you're in. I'm sure too, I'm sure on your
41:40
floor, we could leave it there for seventeen seconds because I'm sure your floor
41:44
is immaculate. My guest is doctor Rita Louise. We're talking about her new
41:46
book, Dang It was me all along. We'll be back with more after
41:52
these words. On the Old Times Radio network. Humanity Healing International is a
41:57
small nonprofit with a big dream. Since two thousand and seven, HHI has
42:01
been working tirelessly to bring help to communities with little or no oh. Our
42:07
projects are not broad mandates, nor are they overnight solutions, but they bring
42:13
the reassurance then no one is alone and that someone cares to learn more,
42:17
Please visit Humanityhealing dot org. Humanity Healing is where your heart is. Imagine
42:25
yourself being transported to India, to the banks of the Ganga and an ashram
42:31
in Rishikesh. Visualize that you are welcome to Satsan with an American Sanyasi who
42:37
shares the wisdom of her Guru. Your visualization has manifested joined Satfi Bagawahi Saraswati
42:45
for inspiration and transformation every Thursday at eleven am Eastern on Old Times Radio.
42:53
So I'm a cat and I just moved in with this new human and she's
42:58
got this little toy. She's always playing with all day long. Tap tap
43:00
tap tap blue bloop. She can't put it down there it is, Oh
43:06
and get this. She even talks to it. Last week she asked it
43:08
for Chinese and guess what. Egrel showed up Like magic, humans have cool
43:15
toys. A person is the best thing to happen to a shelter pet.
43:17
Be that person. Adopt Brought to you by the AD Council and the Shelter
43:21
Pet Project dot org. Who if I could be you and you could be
43:25
me for just one hour, if you could find a way to get inside
43:30
each other's mind. Walk a mile in my shoes. Walk a mile in
43:35
my shoes, Walk a mile in my shoes. We've all felt left out,
43:38
and for some that feeling lasts more than a moment. We can change
43:43
that. Learn how it belonging begins with us dot org. Brought to you
43:46
by the AD Council. Welcome mile in. She grab a cup of tea
43:55
or a glass of wine and tune in for inspired conversation with publisher Linda Joy
44:01
on Tuesdays at two pm Eastern. Linda creates sacred space for leading female luminaries,
44:08
empowering authors, heart centered female entrepreneurs, coaches and healers, a soulful
44:15
venue where guests openly share the fears and obstacles they've overcome, wisdom and lessons
44:22
learned, and the personal journey that led them to the transformational work they do
44:27
in the world. Inspired conversations to empower you on your path to authentic,
44:32
soulful living. More than twenty four million Americans have an autoimmune disorder, and
44:38
that number continues to grow. I'm Sharon Sailor, and I'm one of those
44:43
twenty four million. To put that number in perspective, cancer effects about nine
44:46
million, and heart disease up to twenty two million. That's why I've brought
44:50
together top experts and those thriving regardless of their diagnosis to bring you the latest,
44:54
most up to date information. Join me Sharon Saylor Friday night, seven
44:59
p Eastern for the Autoimmune Hour on Life Interrupted Radio to find out how to
45:04
live your life uninterrupted. Back on Destination Unlimited. My guest this week is
45:09
doctor Rita Luise. We're talking about her latest book, Dang It was Me
45:14
All Along. In the theater world, they say everybody is a critic.
45:20
In the mind world, we find the inner critic. What should we do
45:24
about the bad reviews from the inner critic, Well, I think the biggest
45:31
thing is to tell it to shut up. So for people that are not
45:38
aware, the inner critic is that part of us that tells us we're too
45:44
fat, or we're too lazy, or we're invisible, or we can't do
45:50
this, or we can't do that. And it often sounds like, you
45:53
know, a mean pair in scolding us and talks to us in a way
45:58
that we would never ever ever consider saying to somebody else. But the commentary
46:07
is always like self deprecating. And so one thing that I have found that
46:13
really helps wrangle the inner critic, because the inner critic is just that it's
46:20
a critic, is to change the game, you know, because now we
46:23
got seventeen second rule, and so the brain is going, oh man,
46:28
you really screwed that out of that's because you're just so stupid, you know.
46:31
Okay, I've already used up my seventeen seconds, you know, and
46:36
I'm interjecting you going, but you know, I am very capable and I
46:43
am competent and use things that are positive affirmations about who we are to shift
46:54
the narrative back to again higher vibrating emotions, higher levels of energy. You
47:04
know. One of the things I found in playing with this I am you
47:07
know, because you you know, you could sit there and go, well,
47:12
I suck, you know, which is the inner critic. But if
47:15
you change it to things that you're capable of or common like I am funny,
47:21
I am smart, I am not a procrastinator. You know, all
47:27
of those things are true to me. I totally own those statements about myself.
47:36
Now, if I wanted to use something like, you know, I'm
47:39
a superhero and I make millions of dollars, my inner critic is going to
47:45
jump in and go, wow, that's totally true, you know. And
47:52
so I suggest to people in the book, you know, if you're going
47:54
to use this tool, which I find is a very powerful tool, it
48:00
real keep it to things that you can own for yourself and about yourself,
48:06
because if you introduce something that on some level you don't think it's true about
48:10
yourself, you are going to activate your inner critic. Moon or at least
48:15
that's what happens to me, but I think that happens to a lot of
48:17
people. We discussed the conscious mind and the subconscious mind. What is the
48:24
super conscious mind and how may we access it? Okay, so if you
48:32
think about it, and I'm going to kind of give this a little bit
48:35
of a visual. So the subconscient or the conscious mind is, you know,
48:40
what we see and interact with in the world around us. And so
48:45
we can think of the subconscious mind as what's brewing underneath the surface. But
48:52
the super conscious mind sits above the conscious mind, and it is through that
49:00
And you know, I can say this here and it's a bit uncomfortable,
49:05
but it's through the super conscious mind that we can we can connect to source,
49:10
we can connect to the higher levels of vibrating and interact with our higher
49:20
self and our soul and the other aspects that constitute the mechanism and the working
49:27
of the super conscious mind. And is there a connection between the super conscious
49:34
mind and what we know as the soul. So so the super conscious mind
49:44
to me is just kind of an umbrella, you know, where our soul
49:47
is. It's us, it's who we are. And I mean, granted,
49:54
there's our programming that shifts we are, you know, but this is
50:01
this is how I like to think of the soul. Like when I die,
50:07
I'm gonna be still pretty much, doctor Rita. I mean, I'm
50:09
sure there's stuff that's gonna change, but this is how my soul vibrates,
50:15
you know. And I would bet that I was kind of the same ish,
50:21
you know, one lifetime to the next lifetime, because that's my soul
50:24
essence, you know, and it expresses in different ways in different lifetimes.
50:29
But that's my soul essence, you know. So it's who we are,
50:34
you know. In cabalistic text they talk about you know, it's the little
50:38
piece of you that is pinched off, pinched or off left, pinched off
50:45
from the totality of God, you know, and it is what makes you
50:52
that individual person is the soul. How do we know when we receive guidance
51:00
that it is coming from a higher source rather than the ego? Great question,
51:07
Victor. So this is the way I like to explain it. When
51:12
it's coming from source God, you know, the universe, from your higher
51:19
self. You can want a guide, whatever whatever word you want to put
51:24
there. There's lots of people that talk to us, but that information comes
51:30
through usually in a word, maybe a very short phrase. It might be
51:37
depending on how you receive information and image that crosses your mind that just says,
51:44
you know, I tell this story about my dishwasher breaking and there is
51:49
all water in the bottom and I'm there with like a cup and a sham
51:53
wow trying to get the water out. And I'm like, okay, well
51:57
what can I use to get this water out? And I get this image
52:00
of the turkey baster. I'm like, okay, but I have to tell
52:06
you victory worked great. It was way faster than dealing with the shamwaw to
52:09
get the water out of the bottom. And so it comes through is just
52:15
it comes through as a suggestion. How's that it's a thought that you have,
52:20
or an image that you receive, or a phrase that you hear,
52:22
or something you hear on the radio that's in answer to your question. When
52:28
it's the ego, it will sit there and pester you and pester you and
52:34
try to justify why you should do something or not do something. You know,
52:39
there's always commentary and corollary. It is definitely not the soft still voice
52:46
inside. Think of doctor Rita as the higher source and fram Dresser's voice as
52:52
the ego. I think that would be a goodense. So we're on this
52:59
wonderful jury of self awareness and some of our so called family and friends are
53:04
doing everything in their power to interrupt the journey. What should we do?
53:10
So, Victor, this has been a very real part of my life,
53:15
you know. So we always have a choice. We can choose to continue
53:22
with how things are going and the status quo and maybe not being so happy,
53:28
or we can choose to change it, you know. And that might
53:30
be mean having a conversation with the person, It might mean limiting your time
53:37
with that individual, or it might mean stepping back and having them just leave
53:44
our presence and leave our energy so that we can be happy again. That's
53:51
the part that makes it be a little bit hard, because sometimes the choices
53:54
that you have to make can be hard. But I'll tell you what,
53:59
You make that choice and you always feel better after absolutely absolutely, I've come
54:06
to a point in my seventy one years on this planet where I experience a
54:10
sense of peace and contentment. What would you offer others trying to access those
54:15
lovely places? I mean, I think the biggest thing is knowing that it
54:23
is possible. You know. The first step is by becoming more aware of
54:30
where your predominant thoughts are. If your predominant thoughts are in worry or rumination,
54:39
or you're stuck in your inner critic, or you find that you trigger
54:45
very quickly to situations that you're experiencing, then maybe it's time to stop and
54:52
take a step back and ask why and be motivated to change it. The
55:00
wisdom of doctor Rita Louise her latest book, Dang It was Me All Along
55:07
Rida one more time, Please share with our listeners where they can get your
55:09
books and find out more about you and your wonderful work. Sure thing,
55:15
so they can go to my web page Soulhealer dot com, s O U
55:19
L H E A L e R dot com, Soulhealer dot com, and
55:23
all of my books are there, there's articles, there's all kinds of stuff
55:28
on there that I invite them to explore. My books are also available on
55:32
Amazon, Barnes, and Noble, all that good stuff. And if they're
55:37
interested in my medical intuition, energy medicine and intuitive counselor training, they can
55:44
go to Applied Energetics Institute dot com. Rita, thank you so much for
55:50
joining us again and sharing's amazing wisdom you've accumulated and all of the heartfelt words
55:55
that you share with us every day. Thank you so much, Doctor Rita,
56:00
thank you, Victor, and thank you for joining us on Destination Unlimited.
56:05
I'm Victor, the voice Firman of a wonderful week.