Latest / Harder Than Life / Jon Gordon | The Power of Positive Habits: Proven Strategies to Exponentially Grow You

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Jon Gordon | The Power of Positive Habits: Proven Strategies to Exponentially Grow You · Harder Than Life

• 0:00
  You're not stuck. You're one habit away from changing your life. You're not bad. You just need good habits to become better. I'm not here to help you scale your business. I'm here to help scale you. Everything will grow because of you and you being elevated. Resistance becomes the greatest before your greatest victory. The night is darkest just before dawn. Everybody's looking for relief, but they really need the restoration of our souls.
• 0:28
  If you are a hero in your own story, but you're not a hero in anyone else's story, you know what that means? You're a narcissist, not a hero. I wasn't always that kind of father, that kind of husband. I needed to change. I needed to elevate me. The family I have now is the result of the habits. So these habits don't just change you. They change generations to come.
• 0:50
  When your habits become your life, it creates your life. The world doesn't need another average person. The world needs your best you. So don't focus on being the best. Focus on being the best at getting better. Today's guest figured out the hard way. At 31 years old, his marriage was falling apart. His career was a disaster. He was the most negative person in every room he walked into.
• 1:14
  And then something shifted. He went from rock bottom to writing over 32 best-selling books. He became the go-to guy for the Los Angeles Dodgers. The guy In-N-Out Burger, Southwest Airlines, and the Miami Heat all turned to when they needed to build a winning culture. This one is going to hit different. Let's get into it.
• 1:39
  Welcome back to the Harder Than Life podcast, everybody. They say you shouldn't meet your idol. But today, I have John Gordon, who is his energy bus. The book, The Energy Bus, is my first foray into life.
• 1:53
  personal development. And this week I had an epiphany about Joy, who's the main character in the energy bus. And I want to say the reason why they tell you not to meet your hero is because they don't usually live up to the billing and you are more than what I
• 2:12
  could ever ask for in a hero, in a mentor, and now a friend. So thank you for being here, John. Thank you, brother. That means a lot. You're a great friend. You're a great guy. You had a great heart. And, you know, I did push-ups earlier because I knew I was coming here to be on this podcast with you, so I have to try to somehow get some arms like that.
• 2:31
  I receive all that. And Tim Tebow said the same thing to me last time I saw him. You guys are just giving me so much time. I love that about you. I think that if the personal development doesn't work, you could become a stand-up comedian. I learned something new, and I hope this isn't stealing any thunder, but you started work on a sequel to The Energy Bus, which you shared a little bit with me. I'm not going to go into it. But if you guys haven't read The Energy Bus, get out and read it. The sequel is coming soon.
• 2:58
  whenever but today we're here to talk about the power of positive habits which is just my jam i'm a big believer of beginning with the end in mind
• 3:09
  93 positive habits, Hugo, but we're going to start with the last one, which is your final habit created an amazing funeral. Tell us about this. Well, as I was writing this book, I had 93 habits, and people say, why didn't you do 100? Because when I got to 93, I was done. It was like Forrest Gump. That's all I got to say about that. I had my habits. I was done. And the last one I believe was the most important because, as you said,
• 3:37
  live life with the end in mind. And what is the end ultimately for all of us? The end is a funeral. It's we are leaving this earth. We are going to, hopefully, I believe, heaven. So as you leave this earth,
• 3:53
  How did you want to live? What kind of impact did you want to have? What kind of legacy did you want to leave? It's important to think about those things. You don't do it in a morbid way, but in a way that says this life matters. What you do matters. And ultimately, how do you want to intentionally live it? And so I thought about I want to create an amazing funeral. My brother asked me one time, like, what's your goal in life? To create an amazing funeral.
• 4:19
  He's like, really? I said, yeah, because that means that if I have an amazing funeral, people are there. They are celebrating. People will come from all over the world, hopefully, because I impacted them. And they will be joyful. They will be having a great time. They will be telling stories of the impact that I made on them. And if I live that way, creating an amazing funeral, I'm going to be a great time.
• 4:42
  It would mean that I actually made a difference on this earth and that's what matters most. So you live with the end in mind. That funeral means that you lived right, you did right, and you impacted a lot of people. And that's how I really try to live my life. John, we talked about creating heaven on earth and I believe that is what we're all after. And you said you believe you're creating it, you're not quite there yet and neither am I. Out of the 92 remaining habits,
• 5:10
  Which one is the most impactful to create heaven on earth? It's about living with love every day. It's to love, to serve, to care. You love people. You love who they are, even those who are hard to love. You look to serve others and make a difference. It's not about you. It's about serving others and impacting those around you.
• 5:34
  and then you show that you care. When you love, serve, and care, you leave your mark on this world and the people around you. And people always say, how do I become a better leader, John? Obviously, I speak a lot about leadership to millions of leaders around the world, and I get young leaders that ask me,
• 5:50
  What's the key to leadership? How can I become a leader? Because I don't have a title. And I say, you don't need a title to be a great leader. All you need to do is love, serve, and care. You start there. And as you love, serve, and care, you'll exponentially grow your influence, your impact,
• 6:08
  especially starting with the people right in front of you. And as you impact them, you'll watch more and more people will come to you and you'll reach more and more people. And now you'll impact the world by loving, serving and caring. So don't focus on on building your business. Focus on loving, serving and caring and your business will exponentially grow. You are your best investment. And you talk about that throughout this book and
• 6:34
  they say put your oxygen mask on before you can help anybody else. And we could talk about business tactics and systems and culture. If you ain't right, how are you gonna lead? That's good. You have to invest in you first. You are the greatest investment you'll ever make. And here's what I know about me. Like I'm not here
• 6:55
  to help you scale your business, to give you all the schools and the school and the technique and all the tools and strategies and the KPIs. That's not my jam, that's not why I'm here. I'm here to help scale you. As I scale you and help you grow,
• 7:12
  you'll grow. The power of positive habits are 93 habits that will exponentially grow you and elevate you. And as you elevate yourself, as you elevate yourself with these habits, by doing these intentional things, you will elevate everything around you, your relationships, the people that you lead, your company, your organization, your friendship, everything will grow because of you and you being elevated. And so that's the goal.
• 7:40
  When I elevate people, it's through the habits of the way they think, their mindset, how they show up in the world, ultimately their relationships, their leadership, how they're connecting to others, how they're connecting to themselves. The purpose of the Power of Positive Habits, as I wrote this, I realized that we don't create our life through our intentions.
• 8:03
  We create our life through our actions, through our habits, by what we do. And the way we think actually is a habit. So in the power of positive habits, there's a lot of habits that have to do with the way you think and your mindset. Because thinking is a habit, mindset is a habit. As you have the right habits in your mind, that translates also into now your actions and what you do. And then when you start doing these intentional things day in and day out from a physical standpoint,
• 8:30
  from a relational standpoint with your spouse, with your significant other, with your kids, with your friends, as you do these things with your health and the food you eat and the exercises that you do, I put those in there as well. Now every part of you is actually elevated. Let's talk about the simplest of the habits. And we talked about it a little bit this morning is
• 8:52
  How hard is it to break a bad habit versus starting a positive habit? And what is the difference between a bad habit and a positive habit?
• 9:03
  Well, the book is called The Power of Positive Habits. And a bad habit is actually something that leads you towards destruction that's not good for you. It's pretty simple. It's not good for you. It's not healthy for you. It doesn't help you grow. It holds you back. That is a bad habit. Negative thinking is a bad habit. Surrounding yourself with people who don't care about you, don't love you, who don't have your best interests at heart,
• 9:26
  That is a bad habit. I would say smoking is a bad habit. Drinking too much is a bad habit. So there's a lot of bad habits that you can choose every day, or you can choose the positive habits. Positive habits make you think more positively.
• 9:42
  They help elevate your state of mind. They help you have more clarity in your life. They help create more connection in your life, better relationships, better teamwork. They help you elevate your team so that they can perform at a higher level. All these habits actually make you stronger, wiser, better, and they make everyone around you better in the process. It's really simple. Are you getting worse?
• 10:05
  Or are you getting better? Is something holding you back? Or is it moving you forward? Is it making you less than? Or helping you become the best version of you? That's a positive habit. Listeners, we talked about this a lot. If I know that I'm in a bad habit, you mentioned about waking up, the habit before the habit is making it easy to form the positive habit by eliminating the barriers. So what I want to specifically say is,
• 10:33
  So many people pick up their phone first thing in the morning and they think it's innocuous, but it's such a bad habit. If I have this bad habit, it could be having a drink, it could be womanizing, it could be scrolling, whatever it is, how do I, and I know you said you weren't going to do tactics, but let's do a tactic. If someone's listening to this and, man, I still, I have a food, I like sugar, I like sweets, I have this one habit and they know it and they're aware of it. How can they flip that into a positive habit?
• 11:03
  This is not a book about habits in the terms of the science of habits. Yes. That has already been written. Atomic Habits is a great book. We actually asked ChatGPT, my marketing guy did this without me knowing. He asked ChatGPT, what's the difference between atomic habits and the power of positive habits? Atomic Habits is all about helping you build better habits.
• 11:27
  This book, The Power of Positive Habits, is about building a better you. So these are the positive habits that build a better you. But what I would say, just from my own experience, as someone who had negative habits, and replaced those negative habits with positive habits, is you have to have a great positive habit to replace the negative habit with. So I'm a big believer in love casts out fear. So the minute you focus on love,
• 11:55
  Fear will dissipate. Now, am I saying get rid of fear? No. Bring in love and fear dissipates. Turn on the light in a dark room and the darkness dissolves. Create great habits in your life. The bad habits will fade away. So if you have a bad habit, what can I replace that with? With a good habit. So if you like to eat dessert after your meals and you're always eating desserts and that's not really
• 12:24
  doing well for you in terms of your sugar level, your body composition, how you feel afterwards, your weight loss. If it's not serving you well, what can you do? Well, you eat your meal and go take a walk after your meal. That's in the book. That's one of my favorite habits that I wrote about. It's one of my favorite things I've done over the years is I walk almost after every meal. I feel so much better. I'm
• 12:48
  after walking after a meal. Why? Because when you're walking after a meal, it signals to your body to take the sugar that's in your blood to bring it into your muscles, and now you have a lower blood sugar level. You regulate your metabolism that way. You regulate your blood sugar level that way. You actually elevate your body's production of fat burning, and you become so much healthier in the process.
• 13:16
  your metabolism actually improves as well. So everything improves when you do that. So just the simple act of walking after a meal for 10 to 15 minutes will make you feel so much better rather than eating that dessert that makes you feel like crap. I've gotten to know you well, and I know I've read all of your books. Yeah.
• 13:37
  When people see you, they feel and see positivity. You walk into a room and you tell funny jokes. But it hasn't always been that way. You alluded to it a couple minutes ago. Take us back to the moment where Catherine, your wife Catherine, was gonna file for divorce. And what did you learn and what habit came from that? So what happened was we were fighting because I lost my job during the dot com crash.
• 14:04
  And this was 2001. Didn't know I was gonna pay the bills. Didn't know I was gonna support my family. And I was just crumbling from the inside out. Just so full of fear. Felt like a failure. Worried all the time, chronic stress.
• 14:18
  And I was taking it out on her. Like I was blaming her for why I had not lived up to my potential, why I wasn't living my dreams. And we got into this fight, and I said, you make me miserable. And she said, well, fine. Then why are we together? Wow. I said, yeah, let's not be together.
• 14:36
  And she said, fine. She said, we're over. She said, if you don't change, we're over. I'm done. I love you, but I'm not going to spend my life with someone who is like this and blaming me for why they feel this way. And it was such a huge wake-up call. In that moment, she was crying. She was full of tears. And I just said, honey, I said, I'll change. I want to change. I want to get better. Just give me a chance. She said, you have to go on medication.
• 15:03
  I said, no. I said, let me see if I can do it naturally. Let me see if I can do it like this way, a positive way. And so I started to research ways that could be more positive. This was during the emerging field of positive psychology. She agreed to give me a chance if I began pursuing these practices and ideas and strategies. And one was...
• 15:25
  You can't be stressed and thankful at the same time. I use it all the time. So if you're feeling blessed, you will not feel stressed. So I had this idea, I'm going to take a thank you walk. I coined the phrase and the term thank you walk, a gratitude walk. I began walking because I was a big walker and I began practicing gratitude on my walks, feeling grateful instead of stressed.
• 15:47
  It was a game changer. Within a couple of days, I felt a shift, felt better. My wife noticed a difference, but not a huge difference, but she could tell something was happening. Kept doing these walks, weeks and months, transforming. That one habit, that one habit changed the course of my life, that thank you walk. This is what actually started this process, this journey, all these years ago.
• 16:14
  to writing this book now. Because I began writing what I was doing to make myself better. It began as a quest to get better myself, which led to a mission to help others get better. So I began sharing these tips of what I was doing, and I began,
• 16:29
  emailing them out. I had five subscribers at the time, my mother, my brother, my best friend from college, and I was sending it out. And then people started to share it with friends and it started to spread. It started to grow. So here we are full circle all these years later. I'm writing a book now called The Power of Positive Habits. It's now going to be read by millions of people around the world and they're going to receive these habits that have been so transformative in my life, but also all these other people's lives over the years that have been doing these things that I've been writing about for years.
• 16:59
  Some are old habits that I've been sharing. Others are new habits that I researched and shared. But it's pretty cool because this book is really the result of the genesis of how I got started to change my life, to turn my life around. A simple walk of gratitude rewired my brain from negative to positive. And that's the power of habits. You're not stuck. You're one habit away from changing your life. That's what this is all about.
• 17:29
  You don't have to be where you are. You're one habit away from creating the life that you want. You're not bad. You just need good habits to become better. And when you realize this and you start doing these things, just pick one or two habits from this book. Just one or two and you start doing it immediately, the one that really resonates with you, and then you actually put it into action, you're gonna see transformation very quickly. Now you add another habit.
• 17:57
  then another one, then another one. I'm doing squats now, where I wrote about in the book, squat like a child. We were walking yesterday, and I was actually showing you how I squat like a child now. People in the street are like, what is this guy doing? Yeah, it was funny. But I couldn't even get past a chair, and now I can go all the way down to the ground by putting this habit into practice. I'm using these habits for my own life, and I'm seeing an improvement already from a physical standpoint. I've done most of the mental habits for years,
• 18:27
  And I'm hoping that people actually do these mental habits as well. They're going to see major transformation when they put these mindset habits into practice and then the physical habits look at it. It's going to be awesome. These habits compound. That's how they become super positive. They compound. You keep adding, you keep adding, keep adding, and then they just it just skyrockets. I just have a sidebar question that. Yeah. Why did you shoot down and I'm not knocking this? Why did you shoot down medication? The reason why I ask
• 18:54
  is my very best friend in the world. I'm going through it right now. We've had a discussion about it. I'm elevating to the next level. I'm tackling the latest devil. And my friend said, he loves me, and he said, maybe you should think about getting on some kind of antidepressant.
• 19:11
  And I, just like you just said it, I was like, I'm going to figure this out naturally because that feels like it permanently puts it away. It permanently solves the puzzle. I'd imagine we're similar. You'd be similar. But if someone is using that and it's become their normal, I was talking about cannabis yesterday because you go on our elevator and you can smell it. People go to that. So if someone is taking something,
• 19:40
  Why did you shoot that down and what would we say to them if they're sitting right here? Well, let's start with what people really want. Everybody's looking for relief. But they really need restoration.
• 19:55
  We need restoration. We do want relief, but we need restoration. We need the restoration of our soul. The word soul comes from the word, you know, psyche, which means soul. Psyche means soul. Psychology is about and should be about the soul, not about the brain and about all these medications. Now, I'm not against medication.
• 20:17
  I'm not against it. I believe there are probably times and needs for it when it should be used. But I think in most cases, Kelly, we're using medication as a band-aid. We're actually using it as a quick fix. How about instead of medication, just go for a walk? How about you start walking every day? How about instead of medication, you start doing thank you walks and see how it goes? Yeah.
• 20:40
  How about instead of medication, you start praying and surrendering and trusting? I must have heard you say that to me a thousand times this morning, surrender, surrender. How about instead of medication, you actually start to nurture your soul? See, what I realized on my journey, again, and I was pretty depressed, I was pretty anxious, I was pretty stressed all the time. I had definitely mental health issues, as a lot of people do now, so I know what that's like. And what I realized looking back,
• 21:10
  my brain didn't need fixing. My soul needed healing. And as I healed my soul,
• 21:16
  that actually healed my brain and rewired my brain. The more time you spend in prayer and surrender and doing this work that we're talking about and gratitude and you make these habits a part of your life day in and day out, you're tuning into the spirit that elevates you, that nourishes you, that heals you, that rewires your brain. The analogy is where you
• 21:41
  step into a hyperbaric chamber. And when you do, this oxygen floods in and it heals the inflammation you have. So many of us have inflammation of the soul.
• 21:53
  inflammation of the burdens of our past, of our anger, of the wrongs that people have done to us and the things that are holding us back. So we're carrying all this heavy weight, we're carrying this toxic energy, this lack of forgiveness, this bitterness, this anger, the hurts of the past, the wounds, so we're carrying those. And what happens is that begins to govern our life and it's why so many people are struggling. And then what happens is they then take medication for the relief.
• 22:21
  But it doesn't restore and it doesn't heal. So in certain cases it needs to be used when someone is really in a bad situation. They might be suicidal. Okay, what does that do? It numbs them. Great, I'd rather be numb than suicidal. But that person then needs to move towards healing that must take place. And medication will not and cannot heal you. But habits that elevate you, habits that
• 22:48
  nourish you, habits that lift up your spirit, that encourage you, that connect you with yourself and with people. And then spiritually, those habits will heal and transform you. And that is what this book ultimately is about. If you really had to, you know, you just made me go there. Like it's about your health. It's about feeling great. It's about being more successful. It's about all those things. It will make you all of those things. But ultimately,
• 23:12
  It's going to make you a more whole person. And that's why you're going to have so much more power because you're going to be living from a place of wholeness and strength and confidence and courage rather than negativity, dysfunction, and despair.
• 23:28
  You went to mental health, and I would argue that it's emotional health is what we need because most of these are about motion. Motion creates emotion, which creates your life. And I just, the whole mental health thing to me, it just sounds like you have a brain problem, but you don't. What did you say this morning? A soul problem? Yeah, your soul needs healing.
• 23:51
  And I love what you said just now because you're right. It is emotional health and mental health. It's not just the brain. It's also the heart. It's just it. I just felt butterflies. No, because mental health is all about the heart, the soul.
• 24:07
  The brain, because the mind is not the brain. They're two different things. You have a brain and you have a mind. The mind is your soul. And your mind is the part that governs the brain. And then you have the soul that is actually, and research shows this, is connected to spirit, the spiritual realm. Your heart is actually connected to that in a more powerful way. And your heart is 5,000 times more powerful than the brain. And your heart picks up things in consciousness and around you.
• 24:37
  before anything else does. So it actually comes through your heart. That's why we must protect our heart. It's why your heart is so important to actually protect, to guard your heart. Biblical references talk about guarding your heart. It all starts with your heart. And so when I talk about, again, the one truth that the brain is an antenna,
• 24:55
  What I've thought about since is our whole body's an antenna and our heart is actually an antenna and your heart and brain are tuning into everything in this world, the good and the bad. So when you heal your soul and you heal your heart, that actually helps you rewire your brain. Let's give an analogy also, like we've talked about the hyperbaric chamber that heals the brain. Literally, if you put a brain that has inflammation in it from...
• 25:23
  injuries and concussions, you put it into a hyperbaric chamber, it actually will heal. The oxygen heals the inflammation. All right. Now imagine you take a cucumber and you put that cucumber into pickle juice, submerge it real fast and pull it out. Is that cucumber transformed? No, sir. No, it's...
• 25:47
  it must bathe in the pickle juice to be transformed. Well, our soul, our soul, which is the integrator between the flesh and the spirit, the soul could go towards the flesh or the spirit. When that soul that we have bathes in the spirit,
• 26:05
  it becomes transformed. We must bathe in the spirit through surrender and trust and prayer. Gratitude walks. And as you do, that spirit transforms our soul, just like the cucumbers transformed by the pickle juice. You've talked many times about faith over fear and both believe in something in the future. Yep. And one is positive, one is negative. It's not in this book, but it feels fitting that you should explain it the John Gordon way. Because it...
• 26:35
  And then the next question is going to be about forgiveness. Okay, yeah. They're all about future. Talk about that. You have faith and fear both believe in a future that hasn't happened yet. Fear believes in a negative future. Faith believes in a positive future. If the future hasn't happened yet,
• 26:52
  Why wouldn't we believe in the positive future? Why wouldn't we believe that our best days are ahead of us, not behind us? It's about what you're looking towards. And am I looking at fear or am I looking at faith? Do I believe the best is yet to come or the best is behind me? I'm 55, you're 50. I believe, we both believe that the best is yet to come. Oh yeah. I feel like I'm just getting started. I feel like I'm young. I think I'm 35 most of the time.
• 27:22
  except after I played pickleball, right? Right afterwards. A couple of days later, I'm feeling better again. So your mindset, your belief, your thoughts create your reality. That's why one of the habits is you have to talk to yourself. Don't listen to yourself. Another habit is be your own greatest encourager. I love this habit. You have to encourage yourself every day. I believe we need to be a great encouragement to others, but we must be our own greatest encourager today.
• 27:50
  to ourselves. Ooh, that's a good one because many people are so negative. If I said the things out loud that I say to myself, you wouldn't be my friend. If I said them to you, you'd definitely be like, Kelly, what's wrong with you? Why is that? What is it trying to teach us? What is the mentality behind that? Well, it's recognizing that, as I wrote in The One Truth, negative thoughts are always coming in.
• 28:16
  And we hear these negative thoughts, and we believe these negative thoughts are coming from us, but they're not. How do I know? Who would ever choose to have a negative thought? Would you ever choose a negative thought? No, but it comes in. It says the future is hopeless. You should give up. You're not enough. Those negative thoughts beat you up on a daily basis. You're not the thoughts you think. You're the thoughts you believe.
• 28:41
  You will have negative thoughts that come in But you don't have to believe them And you shouldn't believe them So here's the thing Don't agree with them Instead Speak words of life to yourself Speak words of encouragement Make it a habit This is a habit Of talking to yourself In a positive way Encouraging yourself Day in and day out Talking to yourself like you would Your best friend Because if your best friend was struggling And going through a tough time You wouldn't say to them Yeah you should give up
• 29:11
  You wouldn't say to them, you know what? Yeah, your future's hopeless. You're doomed. Man, yeah, you suck. You don't have enough. You would say to that person, you got this.
• 29:20
  I believe in you. Guess what? You've been there before and you've overcame that. I know you can do it again. I know your strengths. I know your gifts. I know your talents. I see greatness in you. And yet, we don't say that to ourselves, but we would say it to our best friend. So talk to yourself like you would your best friend. Be your own greatest encourager and you will change your life.
• 29:43
  Elevate the trajectory of your life in incredible ways. And how do I know? Because I had to do this myself. Because I was my own worst enemy. And then I became my greatest encourager. We're going to get into that. I just had an epiphany about fear. Fear, when I see or feel, that's my portal. That's where I have to run into. And what happens is fear creates doubt. And you stay on that negative path.
• 30:10
  Merry go round. What happens when you're on a merry go round? You'll puke. So we gotta jump off that merry go round and go right into it. Cause that is what the adversary is trying to do to you, is keep you on that merry go round. So I love that. Face your fears, live your dreams. Yeah, you know, we're all a hero in our own epic story. We really are. And that hero in every great movie must overcome what?
• 30:39
  a villain, an adversary. Negativity, fear, doubt, conflict. Well, when you recognize that you're a hero in this epic story, you have to armor yourself with positivity, with belief, with optimism and hope, recognizing you're in a battle between positive and negative. You have a villain that wants to bring you down with fear, anxiety, worry, and doubt. And you have to become more stronger
• 31:06
  You have to become stronger, more positive, more powerful than the negativity that you're facing. And just like every great movie, when you overcome that and you win the battle, you become the person who can now impact the lives of others. That is a true hero. So you have to go through the journey.
• 31:25
  through the fire, through the fight. That's why one of the habits is to fight for the good. You have to actually fight the bad and the struggle and the adversity to become someone who learns how to fight for the good and ultimately win.
• 31:40
  You just made me think of, I know one of the habits is consistency, so I always say consistency over intensity all day long. Go deeper into the, because people try things, as we go back to the medicine, everybody wants a quick fix. Oh, I went on a gratitude walk today, why don't I feel better? So one of the habits is consistency, so share with us. Going back to the idea of medication being a quick fix and these habits being lifelong healing,
• 32:09
  Anything worthwhile takes time. Say it again. Anything worthwhile takes time. So if it's easy, it's probably not worthwhile. If it's hard and challenging, it's more worthwhile. And so taking care of our soul takes more time and energy and more of an investment. Living a life of gluttony, of greed.
• 32:30
  of power, of fame, of addiction, of drugs, that's easy. It's hard to live a disciplined, consistent life, to do things day in and day out. And yet, when we do, over time, I believe it becomes easier and easier. It becomes our natural way. That's why habits are so important. When your habits become your life, it creates your life.
• 32:54
  And so that's the key is what habits do you want to create your life with? Because your habits will create your life. And so you have to think of these habits as a really important part of your life because you become your habits. And as you implement these habits day in and day out, you're going to become those habits. So what do you want to become? And I would rather become my best habits, not my worst habits. I would rather become my positive habits. And you are. Not my bad habits. I was my bad habits.
• 33:20
  And no one wants to be their bad habits. You want to be your great habits. So consistency is key. And our friend John Maxwell says consistency compounds. I love that. Consistency compounds. It does. So over time, those habits I started 20 years ago, over time, have a compounded effect that is helping me become who I am becoming at a faster exponential rate now. So the sooner you start...
• 33:47
  the faster you start growing and the faster you start compounding so you can experience the benefits later on. At 55 now, I'm enjoying the habits of saving money and investing money. I now have generational wealth because when I started 20 years ago, I began saving and investing very early on and putting that away, investing, investing, investing. And I let people know all the time because they need to know this. Like, I don't have to do this.
• 34:14
  Because they think when you're in the personal growth space or leadership development space, like, oh, you're doing this for money. No, I don't have to do this. I don't have to work anymore, thank God. Because of all the work I've done, all the books I've written, the millions of copies that I've sold, over six million copies, just do the math. Right? All the talks I've given over the years. But over the years, when I made money, I tithed.
• 34:35
  I gave it away, a lot of it, generously. And then it comes back to you tenfold. It's amazing how that happens. And then that investment over time compounds. And now it's worth a lot to the point where you don't have to work. But why am I still working? Because it's the mission. The mission. Because there's a devotion. Because this is what I'm meant to do. This is what I'm born to do. I have to do this. So I'm consistently still doing this
• 35:04
  Because it's who I am. It's a part of me. And it's helped me become what I am. And I'm not going to change what I am. I'm only going to grow and become more than what I am. And that's the power of positive habits. Consistency over time. Doing the work you're meant to do. And that's why choosing your profession. Choosing what you do. Choosing your spouse. Two of the most important decisions you can make. And choosing your habits.
• 35:29
  most important decisions you can make every single day. So it's often said...
• 35:34
  that what's good long term feels terrible to start. Like you said saving. So it feels terrible to begin and it's good for you long term. But what's bad for you feels good to start and then bad for you long term. You'd reframe something for me this morning because what do we say when we talk about change or bad habit? We say it's hard. And you immediately corrected me and you're about the 10th person this week that said hey, it's only hard because you're not surrendering.
• 36:04
  It's only hard because you're saying it's hard. There you go. The more we say, this doesn't have to be hard. This doesn't have to be hard. No, this doesn't have to be hard. This could be easy. This could flow. Is it hard because it's just unfamiliar? I think it's hard because it's unfamiliar. I think we're going through a transition. People love change.
• 36:26
  People say that we don't like change. No, we love change. We love what change produces. We just don't like transition. We don't like the work. We don't have to go through the transition. So when you start these habits, you're becoming something different. You're becoming something more.
• 36:41
  you're replacing the old with the new. You're moving out of your comfort zone, you're feeling the discomfort of growth. Just as the caterpillar becomes a butterfly, you're going through this transformation and it is uncomfortable. And know this, Kelly, everyone needs to understand this.
• 36:58
  When you are becoming the best version of you, when you are elevating, you're literally going to have to go through that discomfort. You're going to have to go through the resistance. The resistance becomes the greatest before your greatest victory. The battle is always...
• 37:15
  the biggest and the greatest before your ultimate triumph. So you're going to face more resistance than ever as you're about to elevate the most. And that's what you're experiencing right now. I know it. Just our talk today, you're about to go to a whole other level because of the resistance you're facing now. And I faced...
• 37:33
  that resistance, and then grew so much. And now there's some more resistance. And guess what? It means I'm going to grow even more. So when you're facing that resistance, recognize that adversity is actually your partner in growth. New levels, new devils.
• 37:50
  Our belief must rise higher. Our habits must rise higher. Our devotion, our dedication, our commitment must rise higher. Our relationships, who we surround ourselves with, must rise higher. New levels, new devils. We have to become more. We have to become better. We have to become stronger. We have to become greater. That's why these habits are so important. The night is darkest just before dawn.
• 38:16
  Wow, you just absolutely gave me the chills, John. Something that we all do, comparison. Comparison is the thief of joy, but you had, there was a specific, our friend Tim Tebow told you on your podcast that comparing yourself to others means you think you're an accident. Oh, that you were supposed to have the life but got the wrong one. This is deep. How does someone actually stop comparing when social media is designed to make them do it?
• 38:46
  You have to just run your race. It's one of the habits in the book. Run your race. Focus on you and your life and who you're becoming. And I have to say, you know, I was at Tim Tebow's gala the other night, and I love Tim, and we're doing a day with me and Tim in November. It's November 5th. Tim Tebow and myself, one day, 100 leaders around us, and we're going to have an incredible time. But I'm there, and I'm watching the impact that Tim is having fighting this.
• 39:11
  sex traffic around the world, his night to shine, how he's helping kids with special needs and making them feel seen and heard. And I thought, what a life. And you realize only a life that he has gone through and been through and created could actually create what he's doing now. I could never do that because I haven't lived his life. So what am I meant to do with my life?
• 39:34
  I have to look at my past, my strengths, my gifts, what God has given me and run my race and focus on what I'm here to do. I'll never forget years ago. My son came to me and said, Dad, check out this guy, Gary V. He's got like six million followers on Instagram. How many do you have, Dad?
• 39:54
  And at the time, I had like 30,000. And I felt like such a failure. Like I had written some bestseller books by then. I had sold millions of copies by then. I had spoken to the best leaders on the planet, worked with the best sports teams. And yet, honestly, I felt like a failure in that moment because I was comparing myself in that moment to Gary Vee. And I had an epiphany.
• 40:19
  I can't be him. I can only be me. Just do what you're called to do. Just live the life that you're meant to live. Wanting his life means that I think I'm an accident because I was supposed to have his life. Yeah, like that's me thinking basically, I should have Tim Tebow's life. I should have been a Heisman Trophy winner. I should have done all these things. No, that's Tim's life. That wasn't meant for me, and that's not meant to be my life. So I shouldn't want his life. I should...
• 40:46
  want my life because I'm not an accident. I'm here for a reason. You're here for a reason. Every person is here for a reason. Don't want other people's lives. Make your life better. Make your life the most it can be. And I think it's easier to want someone's life than actually create your life. And that's the challenge. Everyone wants greatness, but they don't want to do what greatness requires. Everybody wants to be great, but they're not willing to do what it takes to be great. Right?
• 41:13
  So I'm going to give you, we were talking a lot about AI because I play with it a lot. And so it helps when you have a lot of content out there. Here's a prompt, and we'll put it up on the screen. We'll put it in the show notes. But it's go to any of your AIs and open it and put in, ask me 10 questions, one at a time, about me that even I don't know.
• 41:38
  And the last one told me that stop comparing yourself to others. Because I get compared to Ed all the time. And I'm not Ed Milat. I'm better than Ed. No, I'm kidding. No, I'm not Ed Milat. You should think you are better.
• 41:53
  You should think you're better in certain things and your gifts and strengths. And Ed has other strengths and gifts. Let me tell you a story about Ed Milad. And we are both friends with Ed and we both love Ed. And I think I love him more. But I truly love Ed.
• 42:09
  I met him during the pandemic. A bunch of authors were getting together. And it was a time when the world was shut down, but we all got together to hang out and to talk. And it was a really cool time. It was a special time. But when he walked in the room, I meet him for the first time, and he's jacked. I mean, he's completely jacked. And I was not jacked at all. And I saw him and I thought, I used to look like that. I used to be fit like that. What has happened to you, John? You allowed yourself to go.
• 42:39
  He inspired me to go to another level in my fitness, in my health, the way he thought. He was just really bold. I'm like, you know what, John? There's more for you to do. There is more impact for you to have. Let's go. I started lifting after that. And I've been lifting ever since. Hopefully, you can tell. Yeah, there's some strings hanging on your shirt. Hopefully, you can tell. Oh, wait, those are your arms. Hopefully, you can tell. And so...
• 43:05
  In lifting, I feel better, more alive, stronger, younger, healthier. I owe it to Ed. Now, I saw Ed and said, look what he's doing. I don't want to be Ed, but he inspired me to become the best version of me. So when you look at Ed, you look at his strengths and gifts. I think he's one of the greatest communicators on the planet. You see those gifts and you go, okay, what is he doing? How is he doing it?
• 43:31
  What can I do and how can I take something from that and use it to develop myself? Coaches do this all the time. They look at another coach. They see the offensive plays they're calling. They see how they're running their teams and they get ideas. And then they bring those ideas to their team. You can do the same thing. And this is actually a great tip in the book and a great habit in the book that I recommend. Celebrate the success of others.
• 43:54
  Celebrate their success. Look at their strengths. Look at their gifts. Celebrate them. And don't minimize your own. And then cultivate your own strengths. Strengthen your strengths is another habit. You see what your strengths are, and then you develop those strengths. So I use that as a motivation to get better. I think he's one of the best all-raters.
• 44:13
  On the planet. Yeah. He speaks and you feel it. Oh, yeah. So I use that. But part of it, and then I haven't talked to him about this, but I'm going to air it. I also see the unhealed part of that because I have it in me. And there's points where he talks about his father coming home drunk and thinking of who he has to become. Yeah.
• 44:36
  it immediately starts realizing to me where I need to heal. And I go right into that healer. Remember, pain is my portal. Just a little hack that I use. I guess it was a seagull habit. And I don't, while I want it, I don't live there. But I say, I want, as long as I feel that, it's something that needs attention. And just so you know, this is a side part, I'm bigger than Ed and he feels like that when I'm around here. He keeps saying it to me every time he sees it. He's like, are you getting bigger? I'm like, yes, I am.
• 45:02
  Anyways. So don't compare because when you compare, you'll despair. Ooh. You don't want to compare and despair. What you want to do is you want to actually...
• 45:13
  Look, understand, see what people are doing, learn from them, and grow because of the lessons and the example that they are teaching you. Together we rise. There's enough for all of us. You don't have to lose for me to win. Right. And I don't have to be better than you. I just have to be the best I can be. What did you say to me? You be you.
• 45:38
  Yeah, I don't have to be better than you. My job is to be the best I can be and be the best at what I'm here to be the best at. So don't focus on being the best. Focus on being the best at getting better. That's good. Thank you.
• 45:53
  We've gone this far. We haven't talked about energy vampires. I use it all the time, and I can't believe this hasn't just grown like wildfires. Those who know you know what an energy vampire is. But what is an energy vampire, and how does someone find out if they are one? And what can they do besides the habits? What can they do? Because that's, to me, they're on that negative merry-go-round.
• 46:15
  And a lot of people will hide it under, that's just who I am. Well, the energy vampire term is spreading around the world even more so. Like if you look at the Florida Gators, the new football coach, John Summerall, one of the three team rules is no energy vampires. Love it. Yeah, and now that sign is being displayed all over, which is cool to see. Saban talked about no energy vampires all the time. Obviously that comes from the energy bus, which popularized the term energy vampires. And unfortunately,
• 46:44
  We can all be an energy vampire at some point and may have been one in our life or can be one in our future. If we're negative, it just means we're draining the energy out of other people. We're sucking the life out of them. We're focusing ourselves too much. We're bringing negative issues and drama to situations all the time. We're living from our wounds and our wounds are infecting others.
• 47:08
  You know that if I come in contact, I'm going to let you finish that thought. But if I come in contact with one, I literally run out of the room. I literally, I used to say, where's the bar and go run for the bar, but I don't drink anymore. So I go to the bathroom and I leave. So little known fact, if I'm talking to you dead on and I walk away, you might be an energy vampire. Sorry. Keep going. What can they do? Well, yeah.
• 47:31
  One, you have to recognize it. Before any change can happen, you have to be aware, right? Denial is not going to help you deal with the situation. But the hard part is energy vampires cannot see their reflections in the mirror.
• 47:44
  So they don't know they're an energy vampire. And so when someone says something to them, are they willing to listen? Are they willing to see themselves? If they're not, because narcissists have trouble seeing that they are that way. And often an energy vampire is a narcissist. Not always, but often they are.
• 48:03
  And it's because they feel disconnected. They feel separate. And so they are like a black hole in that disconnection that is sucking the energy from themselves and everyone around them as a result of that. So the first key is awareness. And if you can see it, understand it, and be willing to change, then you can begin the process of focusing on loving and serving and caring and saying, what can I give to this world rather than what can I take?
• 48:27
  How can I help others more than being concerned about myself and my own self-interest? Am I living focusing on my ego? Is it about me or is it about we? Again, these are such simple things, but they're hard to do when you're self-focused, when you're living in your own dramatic world, when you're the hero in your own story, but no one else thinks you're a hero. Check this out. If you...
• 48:53
  or a hero in your own story, but you're not a hero in anyone else's story. You know what that means? You're a narcissist, not a hero. And so a lot of times people who are energy vampires, either they load themselves or they think too much of themselves. It depends, right? And so it's about awareness and it's about healing, it's about growth and it's about habits.
• 49:14
  that help you focus on others rather than yourself. And I believe energy vampires could be changed and transformed and I've seen it over and over again. Absolutely. And all the organizations, all the teams, all the companies, all the sports teams, all the schools I've worked with, I have heard countless stories of transformation and that gives me hope. And it's why we have to talk about it
• 49:36
  And we need to surround ourselves with people who are willing to speak truth to us, but also in love. So I had a leader put up a sign that said, energy vampires, welcome. Expect to be transformed. I love that. So not like my sign in my book, The Energy Bus, says, no energy vampires allowed. Yeah.
• 49:53
  which I don't think you should allow them in your company, in your team. So you either have to transform them or remove them. That's the choice. Transform or remove. But what this guy is saying, expect to be transformed, but you're welcome and we're going to transform you. I love that messaging.
• 50:09
  We were talking this morning about happiness, and you estimated that 20% of us are happy, quote unquote happy, and 80% are not. Well, it's more positivity. Okay, that's what it is. 20% vibrates to a positive frequency. 80% of the population vibrates to a negative frequency. And this is a book by David Hawkins called Power Versus Force that explains that concept.
• 50:34
  I have this utopian world where we can make it 100% positive. I know it's crazy, but I just do. And when we have unifications like us, and there's just so many beautiful people in this. Ain't going to happen. Ain't going to happen? Why? Ain't going to happen. Because this is not heaven. This is earth. And this world is filled with evil.
• 50:59
  There is evil in this world. And this is often Satan's playground, and it's our battleground. And when you realize that, you realize our job is to make earth like heaven, because we're meant to fight for the good and take on the evil that exists. It's never going to go away. Evil always is going to replace evil. It's always going to come back. It's always going to be there. And that's the point of this journey, is that each person has to say, there's going to be evil.
• 51:27
  there's gonna be a battle. It's just the way it is. But my job every day is to live with love and to bring heaven to earth and make this world a better place. And as you do that and make earth like heaven, you're actually creating heaven on earth and you're bringing the love to this earth and you're preparing yourself when you pass away, your soul is ready for the next stage. And I truly believe that the journey of life, I believe that earth is training camp
• 51:57
  for heaven. Earth is training camp for heaven. And so it's not through our works, but we are meant to work to make earth like heaven. And every time we love someone and care about someone, that love that we bring to another person is literally sharing the love of God and making this place like heaven is going to be when we die.
• 52:19
  My major transformation started with a betrayal. And someone at work that betrayed me, and they left me, Don Miguel Ruiz, for the four agreements. And they put a sticky note on creating heaven on earth, the chapter, I think it's chapter 8.
• 52:37
  And they left it for me. And I was like, what is this? I was so angry because betrayal has happened. Betrayal and abandonment have happened in my life over and over and over again. And it was God saying, hey, Kelly, we want to heal this. We're going to keep sending you this. They keep sending you the lesson until you learn it. And right then and there, I didn't learn it. I put that on my library bookshelf. And I went about my day. And about 15 months later, I was sitting on my porch in the middle of the pandemic and said,
• 53:06
  go pick up that book and i picked up that book and i reread that chapter and then i started the book from the beginning and and that's what created harder than life and so everything starts with a betrayal but i believe that we can create heaven on earth it's this is you know i've said it a thousand times and i don't think i've said it to you is is people think we only live once but we live every day we only die once
• 53:31
  you know what's cool? We're doing this on Good Friday. And you just said everything begins with a betrayal. Well, Jesus was betrayed and he was crucified. And because of his crucifixion, we now have everlasting life ourselves.
• 53:47
  We have eternal life because of that. That's the beauty of that. Because he was betrayed, he had to. So he had to be sacrificed so that we could experience the ultimate love and forgiveness. That is such a cool message. Because you're going to face challenges. There's going to be betrayal.
• 54:03
  What you said earlier concerns me, Kelly, because you want this to be an idealistic world where it's all love all the time, and so many people hope for that, and the same people that hope for that and want that get very disheartened, and they give up when they see that it's not that way and it never becomes that way, and so they actually...
• 54:20
  give up the fight and they move into despair because they wish it could be like that. The key is to know it's not gonna be like that. It is the way it is for a reason. It's designed that way. And once you recognize that, you have to recognize what your mission and purpose is and it is to bring your love into this world.
• 54:41
  And you said about Don Miguel Ruiz, it started with Jesus with the Lord's Prayer. Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. That's the goal. On earth as it is in heaven. That is our call. That is what we're meant to do. And when we do, we change the world. So your podcast, your love is contributing to that. But...
• 55:08
  When people get frustrated, angry, upset, saddened that the world is not more like that, they give up. When they realize their job is to make the world like that, they have a mission and they're devoted to it and then they change the world around them. I don't know if we can change the entire world. I know we can change the people around us and we can change our world. Yeah, I wanted to say that because it's important. I want people to understand that
• 55:37
  I'm not always harder than life. You're not always positive. I have those moments where it's like, what in the heck am I doing? It would be just so much easier to just move to a deserted island and just, I too don't need to work. I don't need to do any of this. But I'm called to. So I'll never give up and I'll never stop believing. And you shouldn't. I think you should call this the love bear.
• 56:03
  I think you should call this podcast The Love Bear with Kelly Siegel. Because you're like this big loving bear. And then also your talk on TLC. Right? TLC? Yeah, TLC. Yeah, I love that. TLC. That's a great message on sharing, ultimately, love. We're all equipped to help the person we once were. I was starved of love. And...
• 56:29
  There just was no love. I mean, it took me years to be comfortable saying to my girlfriend, I love you. Because we never said it. We were never around to even say it. So it was awkward. But now I say it and I make it weird. I tell Steven I love him. I've told you. And I mean it, man. I love the people that are around me now. Because I'm going through it and I've reached out to you. I've reached out to him. I've reached out to all their friends.
• 56:56
  thought leaders, influencers, and everybody's like, I got you. I get text messages, hey, how you feeling today? And it's not a real manly thing to do, but you said surrender. By golly, I'm doing it. I live through it. I think a real man lives a surrendered life. A real man knows that.
• 57:18
  the power they possess on their own is not powerful enough, that they're limited in power and they need a greater source of power. A real man is vulnerable and is able to connect with the deepest parts of themselves and the wounded parts of themselves and the parts that need healing. And when a real man heals those parts of themselves, they become someone who can heal others.
• 57:40
  And I think that's what a real man does. So they get in touch with themselves, they connect with themselves, they connect with others, and they receive the love of others to be able to share that love with others. So strength is not your own strength. Strength is tapping into a greater strength, and that's what real men do. And you have to be vulnerable and humble.
• 57:59
  to connect to that greater strength. So many people today are drawn to the pride and the anger and the David Goggins of the world telling everyone to be angry and you gotta effing work harder and you gotta do all that. You know what that is? Anger is depression with energy.
• 58:19
  Oh, that's the first time I've heard that one. Yeah, anger is depression that gets you off the couch and moving. It feels better than depression. Yeah. And so it actually gives you juice and energy, but it's steroids of the soul. It's giving you energy. It's giving you juice. It's giving you energy.
• 58:36
  But it's not the right kind of juice and it's not the right kind of energy. It's actually destroying your soul in the process. Makes you feel good in the moment while it's destroying your soul for your future. You have to recognize that. What's more powerful than that? It is love. Love is more powerful than anger. It's living with the greatest power in the universe, the power of love. And it doesn't mean weak love. I'm talking about the warrior who loves the battle.
• 59:01
  The warrior loves the battle. The warrior loves people. The warrior loves competition. So you can actually be like this incredible, have this incredible warrior spirit that is filled with love and you're competing like a warrior at the same time, you're loving the person you're competing with and against. That's what I think of a real man. I think of a warrior who actually loves others, loves the competition and loves the battle and takes it on to ultimately win the battle.
• 59:28
  Hot In Life Nation, you literally got the best of John Gordon right there, and I needed to hear that. Thank you. And I will tell you, this man is winning in life. His daughter, his son are fabulous people. His wife, he embodies this work. So I...
• 59:43
  Thank you for that. We're going to have one more question. Can I add to that real quick? You just said I'm winning in life and my family is doing great. And I just want to say I want people to know that it wasn't always that way. I wasn't always that kind of father. I wasn't that kind of husband. I needed to change. I needed to elevate me.
• 1:00:03
  I began doing habits that actually elevated me, my soul, my spirit, and my family. The family I have now is the result of the habits. The habits I implemented, and many of them are in the book, like the success journal. I began asking my kids what their success of the day was when they were kids. We began doing that, and that transformed their mindset and mine. So many of these habits I actually put into practice, like praying,
• 1:00:31
  before bed with my wife and kids. That didn't happen early on. My daughter saw how dysfunctional I was. She remembers who I was in the beginning when she was growing up, and she knows who I am now. She sees the transformation. She wrote her college essay on that transformation. She wrote how I changed. She said, if my dad can change,
• 1:00:50
  I know the world can change. And I've watched my dad help others change. And that gives me hope. Man, right there is everything. So I want people to know the power of positive habits and why that's so important. Because you don't have to live the way you once did. Because if I didn't change, my family, my kids would not be who they are now. I had to change. So these habits don't just change you, they change everyone around you, and they change generations to come.
• 1:01:19
  That's the power of that. They change generations to come. So to begin with, we started with the last habit, but the first habit is the habit before the habit. You mentioned it earlier, but we didn't really even go there. The habit before the habit is actually doing
• 1:01:35
  a habit that helps you implement the habit that you want. So if I want to go walk in the morning and I want to make that a habit, I'm going to put my clothes out the night before. So when I get up, I see the clothes, I can put them on real easily, and I know I can just get out the door. There's no resistance there. The more resistance, the less likely you are going to do it. If I want to read a book at night and I want to start doing that more and more, what am I going to do? Put my book on my pillow.
• 1:02:00
  So I go to bed, I see the book there, I'm gonna be more likely to do it. It's a cool concept that I just love that starts the book out with. The habit before the habit. So whatever habit you wanna implement, what's the habit before the habit that will actually help you do that?
• 1:02:16
  And do it for 90 days, folks. It becomes a true habit that's ingrained. And what do they say? When you're driving home, you don't have to look and see where you're going. You just end up home because you're on autopilot. For me, that's working out. I wake up in the morning. I do gratitude. I do meditation. Boom, to the gym. We're getting up against it, John. You've been here for a long time. Some beautiful friends.
• 1:02:41
  For the entrepreneur driving in his car right now, or her car, grinding it out, seeing no results, what is the shift that can change everything in their life right now? You're grinding it out. You're seeing no results. And I would go, why are you seeing no results? Most likely. I know where you're gonna go. Go. Most likely because you're not doing it with the right mindset and the right devotion.
• 1:03:08
  You're resisting, you're fighting. Surrender. Instead of surrendering and flowing. So it really is about what habits will help you have more devotion, more connection, and more flow than grinding it out. I would also say you're probably doing it with limited power.
• 1:03:26
  You're grinding it out, but you're trying to do it on your own. And when you do that, it's all gonna be about you. And you are not strong enough. You actually get tired, you get exhausted, you get drained. When your phone gets drained, what do you do? You plug it in. Well, guess what? Plug yourself into a greater power, and you'll have more energy, more strength, more courage, more confidence,
• 1:03:51
  more resilience, more desire, more passion, more drive to create the life that you want. That entrepreneur, I'm not trying to be self-promotional. Again, I didn't write this book for me. I wrote it to impact others. You read The Power of Positive Habits.
• 1:04:06
  You put those into practice. I guarantee you pick a few habits, just a few, and you do those habits day in, day out, you're no longer going to feel like you're grinding. You're going to feel like you're actually succeeding and thriving. I'm going to go through them one by one and see how many. I think I do probably all of them. Your bonus question because I –
• 1:04:23
  I'd be remiss on Passover slash Good Friday that we don't talk about your mom. And she was sick and she had to make you a sandwich. And what did that teach you about servant leadership and what habit was formed out of that?
• 1:04:40
  Yeah, my mom was battling cancer. And we were taking a walk together and she got tired. I said, Mom, let's turn back. She goes, no, no. I want to take you to the store and get you some stuff to make you a sandwich for your drive home. She was a Jewish mom. She thought I would starve to death if I didn't have a sandwich for my drive home. It was about five hours. So we got the stuff. We made our way back. She was exhausted. But she walked right into that kitchen and she made me a sandwich. And I did not think much about that sandwich at the time.
• 1:05:10
  I didn't think about the sandwich when I drove home, but I think about the sandwich all the time because that was the last time I saw my mom fully, alive, fully conscious. It was cancer and she was battling it and wouldn't tell us how bad it was. And I think about that all the time because here, her last act for me,
• 1:05:25
  was making me a sandwich. We think that love and service is about the big things. It's so often doing the little things with a big dose of selfless love. And it's about leaving that legacy. It's about making that impact. It's about where we started with creating a great funeral. And my last name, Gordon, is actually my mom's maiden name.
• 1:05:45
  So my brother and I took our mom's maiden name after college because we recognized her commitment. Commitment recognizes commitment. And so because of her commitment, we are who we are. When we commit to our habits, we become who we are, but we also leave a greater legacy in others. So your commitment to yourself and to others matters. Don't tell me about your goals. Your goals are great, but tell me about what you're committed to because that will lead to greatness.
• 1:06:14
  Your commitments matter most. So my mom taught me about commitment and love and sacrifice. And she's that model for me. And that's what I try to live my life by now. Beautiful, beautiful. All right, we're going to go on the rapid fire. One word, one sentence. No right or wrong here. One word that defined your last year.
• 1:06:35
  It would be hard. Last year was a hard year. Hardest leadership year of my life. I found myself reading my own book, The Power of Positive Leadership, saying, what did I write on page 95? I got to start using these principles here. This is tough. The habit from this book you personally cannot skip even for one day. The thank you walk. Love it. Best piece of advice you ever got from a coach. So many pieces of advice from a coach. I'm just thinking about the greatest coaches I've had and what they taught me.
• 1:07:06
  Coach Richie Moran, lacrosse coach. Hey, kid, we don't talk this game. We play it. Do it on the field. The book that changed your life that you did not write. Rich Dad, Poor Dad impacted me in a great way. One person, living or dead, you'd love to ride on the energy bus with.
• 1:07:27
  Living or, oh, no doubt, I mean Jesus. But I would have to say I feel like I'm riding with Jesus every single day, and that's the beauty of that relationship is that he might be dead, but he's also alive, which is really cool as we're about to celebrate Easter. Like, he's alive. So I get to live with the Jesus, the man who died, but also the Jesus who is now alive more than ever and who lives in God.
• 1:07:52
  me. As I told you earlier, Kelly, when you give your life to God, you give him your pain and your burden, you give him all your stuff and he gives you his spirit and his life and that transforms you. Beautiful. The biggest lesson you learned from failure that you could not have learned from success.
• 1:08:10
  Well, I believe failure and adversity is your partner in growth. So what I learned was humility. I learned resilience. I learned grit. I learned what not to do and what to do. When someone has wronged me, it's made me wiser the next time around. So I would say I'm thankful for the failures and the challenges and the struggles in my life because they made me who I am and they taught me the most.
• 1:08:31
  I love it. I've heard recently either you're either humble or you will be. Exactly. You get to put one habit from this book on a billboard that the whole world sees. Which one? Talk to yourself. Don't listen to yourself. Everyone needs that today. Microphone drop on that moment. What would your mom say about you if she were sitting here right now? Don't make me cry.
• 1:08:58
  I think she'd say I'm proud of you. Oh, my God. You're going to make me cry. It's all I ever wanted to hear from my parents. Wow. You almost brought us to the side. I feel like I'm in that movie with Jerry Maguire. I ain't going to cry. I ain't going to cry. Oh, man. That was so good. All right. Last one. Finish this sentence. The world doesn't need another average person. Average is the average. The world needs...
• 1:09:28
  You're best you. They don't need another also then. They need you to be unique and be who you're meant to be, to be who you love to be, to be who you authentically are. Thank you for that, John. Thanks for coming. This is book number 33. Go out and get it. It's going to be, it's a page turner. I read it. It's fantastic. Thank you for being you. I love you and I'm grateful for you. Love you, brother. See you guys. Be harder than life.
• 1:09:57
  Please rate and share this podcast. I'm active on all social platforms and love to hear from my Segal supporters. Each and every episode is sponsored by my company, National Technology Management, the easiest and best IT company to do business with, delivering peace of mind with technology every day, even simplifying cybersecurity. Visit TrustNTM.com for more info. Until next week, be harder than life.