Latest / Pete Vs Anxiety!!!!! / the 2 year anniversay/suicide awareness/ mega colab

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the 2 year anniversay/suicide awareness/ mega colab · Pete Vs Anxiety!!!!!

• Pete: Ever wish you had someone to talk to anytime, anywhere, matter what you're going through? Meet PsychPAL, your 24-7 AI companion, designed to help you process your thoughts, calm your mind, and keep you moving forward. Chat anytime during a panic attack on a restless night or just when you need to vent. Prefer talking instead of typing? Try voice journaling. PsychPAL listens, transcribes, and truly understands. You can even upload screenshots of tough conversations, and it'll help you unpack how they made you feel. PsychPAL keeps life organized, too. It can add appointments to your calendar, track your mood, and even summarize your sessions for your therapist so you'll never lose progress. Plus, built-in crisis resources are always just one click away. It's a privacy-first, constantly evolving, made to complement your professional care, not replace it. Ready to try it out? Head over to the link in this episode and use my code, Pete, at checkout to get 20 % off your first month subscription to PsychPAL. PsychPAL, because your mind deserves a companion too. There we go. I think that's the one I like. We got it. We got it. Boom. peter: but Pete: went to doing like pre-recordings. Well, Keith, we're at the part of the interview where I'm gonna ask you those two questions. All right, Amanda Landes: that I had been kind of like since head for a while about about writing the story because Mia Mason: you are not the only one that experiences thoughts, Pete "mental Health Champ": Well, Dr. Erica, before we start wrapping up, I'm going to ask you Pete: Hello, welcome into a very special episode of Pete First Anxiety. This is the two-year anniversary and the suicide awareness episode. I know it's a mouthful, guys. Before we get started today, let's give a shout out to my partners over at PsychPal. Guys, you link will be in the bio. you get 20% off your first month if you put the code Pete in the checkout. you know, I'm a nice guy. I got you 20%. You could have done 10, but you know, I fought for 20 for you guys. With that being said, let's introduce my panel today. In box number one, we have Che Watson. Che say hello to everybody. In box number two, you all should remember her. She's the host of the Truth Table and the Un the unapologetically Maren Ecosta: Thank you. Chey Watson: Bye everybody. Pete: married the Cornbread Chronicle. The one the only Marin Acosta is here joining us. Maren, hello to everybody. Maren Ecosta: Good evening. Pete: We have some very special guests returning. They are from the othering podcast. The one, the only Mike and Dorier here. Guys, how you doing today? Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): Hello. Good. How are you? Pete: All right, guys. Then the man, the myth, the legend, the one the only, the the host of the Lethal Venom podcast, the one the only Noah May is here. Noah, say what's up, man. Noah May: Ay y'all. Pete: Okay, and got we have a Maren Ecosta: Thank Pete: very special guy invited. This gentleman and I met in a random message, had a great time, loved him, invited him. Please welcome the in your head host, the one the only Shannon standard for is here. Shannon, how you doing, man? We can't hear you, bud. Maren Ecosta: Thank See you. Pete: You you good now? Chey Watson: think he might still be connected to his headphones. Maren Ecosta: Thank you. Pete: Okay, well Shannon's getting his audio figured out. Let's introduce the Maren Ecosta: Thank Pete: last panel contestant here. She is one half of the Looking Through the Glass podcast, the one the only Sally is here with us. Doll. How you doing today, Ma? Sharmaine: Doing good at Sila, but I'm doing good. You never got it. That's my kind of change into Pete: You know you know, to this day I'll never g I'll ne I'll never get it right, I promise ya. Sharmaine: Charmaine was one of the reasons, and Maren Ecosta: you Sharmaine: also because I was like, hey, you know what? I I hated my middle name my entire Pete: I have to edit it for Pete 'cause he can't read. Sharmaine: life, and I was like, Well, I'm hating on the part of me, so just that's switched it to Charmaine. Makes it a little bit easier. Pete: Right. Jesus almighty. Well, guys, welcome in. Everybody, Shannon, are you good on your audio over there? We can hear you now, brother. Say hello IYHWSS: Can you hear me now? Sharmaine: Yep. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): Yes. Pete: to everybody. Chey Watson: Yeah! Maren Ecosta: This time it's. Pete: Let's look at everybody know a little bit about yourselves. I know a lot of these guys have probably never met you, man, but go for it. You want it's your time to shine. IYHWSS: Me. Okay, Pete: Yeah, you IYHWSS: so I am Shannon Staniford. I been hosting my podcast for about six a little over six years now. I I talk to everyday people because and they talk we talk about their Maren Ecosta: Thanks. IYHWSS: the the stuff they've gone through. on my show I believe that everybody has a story and every story should be told. Maren Ecosta: So. IYHWSS: So we I've I talk to people that have Mental health issues, chronic illness, you know, domestic violence, all everything that every Chey Watson: Thank Maren Ecosta: So. IYHWSS: person has ever gone through, we've helped a lot of people. and with my little gem of a show. So that that's that's what the show's about, reaching one voice. Maren Ecosta: is. Pete: I love it, man. I love it. Well, thank you all for being here today, guys. You know, we're here for a very special reason. September being suicide awareness month. You know, it's a tough Maren Ecosta: Thank Pete: conversation, guys. I looked up some statistics, okay, and there's some scary Chey Watson: you Pete: things in there, okay? So I'm gonna give you a few of them. Chey Watson: Okay. Pete: 48,000 people, eight hundred and twenty four people died by suicide in 2024. Age adjusted rate of 13.7 deaths per every 100,000 people. Maren Ecosta: Okay. Pete: so that alone is crazy, guys. I feel Maren Ecosta: Thank you. Pete: like we're not talking about enough. Now my question to you, the panel, Maren Ecosta: Okay. Pete: is that why do you feel like we are not talking about enough? Chey Watson: Okay, I'm gonna turn off my light, nevermind. Pete: Okay. Sharmaine: I will say for me, just personally, Maren Ecosta: Thank you so much. Sharmaine: because like I just recently had another attempt Chey Watson: there. Sharmaine: not too long ago, is the the the afraid of judgment. afraid of people being judgmental or or you know, the stigmatisms of, you know, for one running mental health podcast, we have it all together. No, I run a mental health podcast because I know what it's like to struggle. You know. Pete: Mm-hmm. Sharmaine: But so that's why I'm open about mine, but that that is because I've made the hard decision to do that. But it it's still I still run in the back of my head constantly going, Okay, who's judging Maren Ecosta: you Sharmaine: me? Who's gonna say what? Who's gonna do what? You know, who's gonna call me this or call me that, you know, and I'm I'm too worried about what other people are thinking about me Maren Ecosta: Thank Sharmaine: instead of worrying about what I'm thinking about myself. Just to be honest. Pete: Yeah, for sure. For sure. Maren Ecosta: to do that. Chey Watson: I feel that. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): I think that sums it up perfectly. Maren Ecosta: I felt that too. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): Yeah. Chey Watson: That's kind of why I've been afraid of making my own podcasts. it's, ugh, I don't know. I don't know if I can deal with the negativity of people responding. Noah May: Yeah, I think for another thing too, it's I think when you hear about news related stuff all the time, there's always that whenever that you hear a story on the news of like a shooter or something like that, it's always Pete: Mm-hmm. Noah May: they say mental health's always a impact on that. And I think Pete: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Chey Watson: Yeah. Noah May: people don't open up about it because they don't want to be put in that kind of box. I've seen it happen a little bit more more Maren Ecosta: support. Noah May: recently, I think. A lot more people have started becoming more quiet about Maren Ecosta: Yeah. Noah May: it because of what they've seen on the news and just how the public is usually how they usually see mental health patients Pete: Mm-hmm. Noah May: kind of. So I think that's another reason why people don't really openly talk about it. Maren Ecosta: Thank you. Pete: Yeah. Aaron, you got anything to add to this? Maren Ecosta: I mean, I agree. I have had no problem getting people to open up. The biggest problem I've had has really been with myself. Everyone assuming, like you said, you run a mental health podcast is because you have been through these things and now you're better and now you've recovered and now, no, we constantly Chey Watson: No, you're still going through it. Maren Ecosta: live our lives as well. You know, I may have good days and bad days as well. So Pete: Mm. Yeah. Maren Ecosta: don't look at us as... We don't have mental health issues as well. But I have no Pete: Yeah, yeah, for sure. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): And like Maren Ecosta: problem opening up and talking about it. And none of my guests really have either. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): And I think when you provide that sort of space that helps people feel more comfortable to be able to talk about it. Because we have the same same idea where they're more comfortable to talk about it. But when you're out there in the real world and talking to people, yeah, you don't mention that. That's not something that people talk about. And I mean, I understand not going up to someone on the street saying, Hey, you wanna kill yourself? I mean, you don't exactly do that, but it's a far less talked about subject when it's not quite as safe as a s as a of a space. Maren Ecosta: Right. you Sharmaine: Maybe we should start, you know? Maybe we Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): Okay. Sharmaine: should start at one point, you know, if you look at somebody if we see somebody Pete: Here we go. Charmaine coming in with a very good point. Here we go. Yes, we should start. Sharmaine: really struggling, let's say, okay, we're on the bus or we're at the grocery store and I mean I don't know about all you guys, but you know, I know with me, you can see once people are str I can see when people are struggling Pete: Mm-hmm. Chey Watson: Yeah. Sharmaine: because we've been there. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): Mm-hmm. Sharmaine: And so, Chey Watson: Yeah. Sharmaine: you know, I I'll open up and I'll start talking, hey, I run a mental health podcast, you know, da da da da da and I'll just start I'll open up the window and I'll start talking to people and that's where I try and kind of change because, you know, I I know that I've been through everything for a reason. And I'm gonna make sure that I went through everything for a reason. You know, that that's my point is I won't make sure. that I went through it for a reason. If I have anything to say about it, and I have everything to say about it. You know? And and Chey Watson: Right? That's how I feel. Pete: Right. Right. Sharmaine: and so with me, it's, you know, maybe we should start asking people n on the street, you know, hey, look, I see you I see you struggling, and I know other people may not, but I see you struggling. And put Pete: Mm-hmm. Sharmaine: ourselves, it's kind of hard to put yourself in a vulnerable state because most people are going to reject you. Pete: Yeah, yeah. Sharmaine: And and asking that is putting yourself in a very vulnerable state. Pete: Yeah, for sure. Shannon, you got anything to add to this man? I you're I knew you're brewing something over there, bud. IYHWSS: I think that the reason why most people don't talk about it is, I mean, other than like the regular stigmas, it's at least for us men, it's how we were raised. You know, we were Pete: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Sharmaine: Mm. Yes. IYHWSS: we were taught a certain way of what men do with all the things. and if you if you don't do that, then you're less of a man. And I think as more time has gone on, I think all a lot of us guys are like we just don't subscribe to that anymore. And so I mean, at least with my show, I mean, whenever people have heard about it in in my area, th I've had some of them come up to me like, hey, so I I know that you have this podcast and and and what you talk about and is is very, you know, admirable, do you have a minute? You know, I don't care if it's a if it's I'm at work or if I'm out on you know, doing stuff on the street, I'm gonna you know, I w I'll I'll stop and talk to anybody. You know, I w I personally wanna s make sure everybody's okay. Chey Watson: Thank Pete: Yeah, it's the same way for me though. People come in and you like you'll know. Like you you'll know if you know. Like you'll know something's not Maren Ecosta: you Pete: right and you ask them, Hey, listen, how are you doing? You get interesting responses because they'll look at you and go, you really want to know? Yeah, once you tell me. And a lot of times I've got told some wild shit. Like they've told me some wild stories, you know, but it's it's that problem. It's like we stop asking people how they're doing and we just let them float by and then They're gone the next day and it's like, I c what what more could I have done? Or I could you know they start people start blaming themselves for something they had no control of in the first place, you know? So Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): But Chey Watson: Thank Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): on the flip side of that, a lot of times even if you ask them how they're doing, they're gonna tell you the wrong answer. They're not gonna tell you how they're really doing. And I've had experience with that before where someone said that they were doing Maren Ecosta: Bye. Chey Watson: Yeah, because they're not... They're afraid of judgement. Pete: See. See. That that's why and that's how Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): great. Maren Ecosta: I knew you were gonna say that. Chey Watson: I was one of those people, when people, Noah May: Mm. Chey Watson: because I was struggling and really, really, like I was going through it. Sharmaine: Well I know that when on on the flip side er every time I was asked if I was okay, I would Yeah, I'm okay. Because it's an automatic Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): Yep. yeah. Yeah. Sharmaine: default response. You know, I and Chey Watson: Exactly. Exactly. IYHWSS: Yeah. Sharmaine: and then it's like, you know, th then I started just getting into it with people. I'm like, okay, fine. You asked, all right. You sure you wanna know? I'm a trauma dump. And that yeah, that's how I just Chey Watson: Yeah, right. Sharmaine: but that's how I kind of that's how I kinda got myself into the the podcasting where I'm open and then was where I was able to be able to tell my stories openly, my rape stories and and then, you know, domestic violence stories and stuff like that. Because I was like, well, how can I ask somebody to come in and tell me their story if I don't tell them mine first? So, you know, that's what Pete: Yeah, no, I agree. Sharmaine: Giselle and Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): Yes. Sharmaine: I both did. We went through our entire lifetime of traumas, what I've done to her, what she's endured because of my addiction. And because of my lack of loving myself enough to get out of an abusive relationships, you know, and you know, that that's where, you know, I think we as a as a as in a as in a a collective are really trying, Pete: Mm-hmm. Sharmaine: pushing forward to get these word the word out there of it's okay to not be okay and it's okay to say that you're not Maren Ecosta: Yeah. Sharmaine: okay. You know, us as a collective Chey Watson: Yeah. Noah May: Mm. Sharmaine: there I don't think there can be enough of us. You know, there really isn't. Maren Ecosta: And I started using like what Pete said, like how is your mental health? Like be direct, deliberately ask Sharmaine: Mm-hmm. Pete: Exactly. Why it was born. Maren Ecosta: them. I Chey Watson: Yeah. Maren Ecosta: mean, when Pete said that to me, when we had our first podcast, I was like, yeah, you I don't do that. I usually just say, like you said, how are you doing? How are you feeling? Chey Watson: Yeah. Maren Ecosta: I'm okay. No one is going to open up unless it's your best friend. But Sharmaine: Mm. Maren Ecosta: if you directly say, how is your mental health today, you... tend to get an answer back, a real direct Pete: Yeah. Maren Ecosta: answer back. Pete: See, that's exactly how it started Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): It's hard to Pete: though, because that thing where they're like, I'm okay. Okay, well, what is okay? The definition. It's just we don't know what they're saying. But when you ask them that question, they have to think about the answer before responding to you. They might not say if there's something they'll tell you something. Like, you know, yeah, I got something on my mind. So sorry, Dory, you were saying something before I cut you there. Go right ahead, top in. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): No. No, you're Chey Watson: Okay. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): fine. But basically, I mean, that's the key that, you know, both men and women need is that we have to be more direct, kind of like talking to a teenager, because you ask them, well, how was your day? Fine. Good. Or good. Yeah, you get fine or good. If you ask them specific questions, that's when you find out more about it. And if we start asking each other more specific questions, then we can get through that. Pete: Mm-hmm. Sharmaine: Mm, yeah. Pete: Mm, mm, mm. Noah May: Mm. Chey Watson: Yeah. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): stigma of you're just a drama queen or Chey Watson: Yeah. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): be a man. Men don't cry and all that bullshit. Pete: Yeah. Yeah, no, I agree. Sharmaine: So I was raised I was raised in a woman very b most of my family is all women, we're all women, like seven generations of women. And but they all had the men focus type of 'cause I had there was a person in my family that committed suicide and so it was literally drilled in my head, if you try to commit suicide, you're weak. You're you're just a weak person. Chey Watson: Yeah. Pete: Mm-hmm. Sharmaine: And so that's what I grew up. So with me, it was getting through the part and I still struggle, you know. like I'm shaking right near right now, let telling people, yeah, I just tried commit tried committing and tr Chey Watson: Thank you. Sharmaine: another act, you know, several couple months ago, but Pete, you kinda know what I've been going through. so, Pete: Yeah. Sharmaine: you know, it's been a rough, rough patch, and it's been, well, I'm not gonna go back to the drugs because I can't go good I can't go back there. So what's my other choice? And then excuse my language, but then there comes in the fucket ceiling. And I literally Pete: Yeah. Sharmaine: have a detach. I have a detach. And I detach and there's nobody that can get through to me. And but in that detach, there's me in the back of my head yelling at me, telling me that I'm fucking weak and that I'm a piece of crap because I'm putting my kids through all of this and that blah blah blah blah blah. You know, so I'm literally traumatizing myself in the middle of a traumatic traumatizing moment, you know? And Chey Watson: Yeah. Sharmaine: I I'm Pete: Yeah. Sharmaine: just it it's that co those kinds of things of letting people know, Maren Ecosta: Thanks. Sharmaine: yeah, I dealt with it to that extent, and I want you to understand that you're not alone. You know, we're not alone. Pete: If if if not if none of you have had Charmaine on your show yet, let me tell you, you need to book her. She is fantastic. She has some stories to tell you all. Like you Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): So it's just Pete: think this is just the mild parts of it, it gets gets crazy. It it gets crazy. Like I said, though, she she has some Sharmaine: yeah, no. Chey Watson: you Maren Ecosta: pattern lover. Pete: stories to tell. So my question to you guys Chey Watson: Yeah, I feel that. Pete: all okay, so one at a time. If you know somebody that's thinking about committing suicide, what advice would you give them, guys? And one at a time, when do you all take a chance at this? What would you all say to someone? Maren Ecosta: Thanks. Sharmaine: Very good question. Very good question. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): I love you. You are needed. You're necessary. And whatever you need to say, I'm here to listen. Pete: Kev. I l I love it. Dory, that's fantastic starting up. Sharmaine: Yeah. That's Chey Watson: Yeah. Sharmaine: a beautiful way to start. Pete: It's definitely anybody else wanna jump in? Who's next? Anybody got something for me? Know what you Well, here we go. IYHWSS: I think the last time that I talked somebody out of it, I mean I was I was kinda brutally honest. I I I told him that selfishly I'm gonna need you to not do that because I kinda need you here. I can't explain why. I don't I don't have an answer for you right now, but selfishly I don't want you to go. And you know, I I I make a joke, you know, and then I think just to get to open up about what is going on in their head. so I would honestly, you know, I I'm just honestly brutally selfishly honest with with them. So I would find a way to one of my strong suits is I I can find Maren Ecosta: Okay. IYHWSS: a way into your mind and get you to think about other things other than what it is that Is keeping you pinned down on the darkness. Pete: Yeah. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): And I think a very important thing is that they know other people need them here and want them here. 'Cause I don't think they feel that. Pete: Very good point, Mike. Very good point. Chey Watson: Yeah. Maren Ecosta: Yeah. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): I know they Sharmaine: So Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): don't feel that. Sharmaine: I also use one of my one of our actual warnings on our on our thing is I dark humor. dark humor is that that's my go-to, that's my coping mechanism. Chey Watson: Yeah. Sharmaine: And it's a lot of people's coping mechanism. And Pete: Mm. Sharmaine: I Noah May: Mm. Sharmaine: know what works for me is the dark humor. So I kind of but I also in the in that in the midst of the d of the middle of the dark humor that I threw in there, to try to just kind of bring them out of that that disconnect and try to reconnect with them, is I just tell them that they're here purposefully and, you know, with purpose and on purpose. So you know, each person is here with purpose and on purpose. And how can we reframe this, you know? Chey Watson: Okay. Okay. Sharmaine: And Pete: Mm-hmm. Sharmaine: that that's kind of where I go to. but it's also on in all honesty, depending on who the person is. You know, in all honesty, it just it Maren Ecosta: That's I was going to It's yeah. Chey Watson: Yeah, that's how I was going to say too. Sharmaine: really depends on the person because some people will look at Pete: Yeah. Sharmaine: that and that won't work at all. That'll just push them further Pete: Yeah. Sharmaine: over on the edge. But I'm also a very brutally Chey Watson: Exactly. Sharmaine: I have another warning, brutally honest person. Pete: But but but to Shannon's point though, the way the way he came about it, he was like, I'm being selfish. I need you and that's a lot of times that's Sharmaine: Yes. Pete: what they think. They're not wanted anything else. So Shannon is actually really great statement, by the way, because the way he goes about it, you're you're telling that person, listen, I want you still here and and things like that too. So I mean I think it it was a fantastic approach, by the way, man. I think that's really great. Maren, you got anything for us? What advice would you give someone? Maren Ecosta: Yeah, I think it's really individualized with the person. Like, be an active listener first. Like, make sure that you are actively there in the situation, whether it's just a touch on the shoulder, a touch on the hand. Pete: Mm-hmm. Maren Ecosta: Be present with them. And you have to feel them out, because each person is going to be different. I, as well, I mean, dark humor is my go-to as well, but it would not be for my husband. So it's kind of like you have to... feel the situation out, but just be present with them. Be present with them, give them as much comfort as possible, and yeah, also be brutally honest because this is a time where they need, they need to know that they are enough and that it's okay. And it's okay if they feel that way in this moment, but we're not gonna take action. Pete: Yeah. Very good point. Che what do you got for us? Anything? What do you what what advice would you give someone? Chey Watson: I usually come with, you're needed here, I want you here. Pete: Yeah. Chey Watson: Just recently a couple months ago, a friend of mine that I had only just met, like, well it's almost been a year now, but when I actually first got here, when I first moved to Maryland, Sharmaine: Were you talking to me? Chey Watson: I'm right. I'm sorry. Pete: What did you say, Sherman? Chey Watson: What did you just say, Charmaine? Sharmaine: I was asking who you were talking to. Pete: Talking to Che. Che okay, so you said you you met this person, so what happened? Chey Watson: We instantly connected because me and her both have been through a lot of trauma Pete: Mm-hmm. Chey Watson: and we both had some same disorders and whatnot and we've talked it, literally had deep conversations about it and she's actually attempted suicide several times and never had anyone around like to talk to or anything Pete: Yeah. Chey Watson: like that and she had literally called me right after she had already cut herself and Pete: Yeah. Chey Watson: like I literally just got myself in gear stay on the phone with her I was like I need you here your daughter and your son needs you here you don't want to leave them with that piece of excuse my language that piece of shit you know that you know You know they need you. I don't care about what anyone else has ever told you, but you are kind and you are loving, you are generous, you are one of the most amazing people I've ever met. And that's saying a lot because I've had some really, really shitty people in my life, you know? And that have done me wrong to the point that I even attempted myself a couple years ago. So it was something I could relate to. remember people talking in school. I remember Maren Ecosta: Thanks. Chey Watson: my stepdad always calling people that do Maren Ecosta: Thank Chey Watson: that are selfish and they're weak and they're going, he was a very religious man. So did the whole, they're going to hell for it and all this other stuff. like, I remember being in that moment and how I felt because of how I was raised. And I was in a deep psychosis, so was like, even the mat, like I even like saw my stepdad in front of me while I was doing it with his hand guiding me down my arm. Like I cut myself like, I just happened to miss a major vein by a couple of millimeters. I cut all the way to the bone and everything and. I'm grateful to be here because I have my son who is like my motivation in everything. And Maren Ecosta: Thank Chey Watson: I remember actually like blacking out and then waking up and looking at my arm and I couldn't believe what I had done. And my son's face just popped up and I was like, I got Maren Ecosta: Thanks. Chey Watson: to get somewhere. I got to get somewhere and I get help. And there was a fire station right across the street from me. and I was in, it felt like a thousand miles away, but it was only a couple of, probably maybe 50 feet from me. Pete: Yeah. Chey Watson: someone had ran outside and I was just like, I'm a piece of shit mom. I don't deserve to be here after what I just did. Stuff Maren Ecosta: and you next time. Pete: Yeah. Chey Watson: like that, you know, and. And I feel like in the medical field, don't really, especially paramedics and stuff like that, they don't really know how to talk to people in that situation because the Maren Ecosta: Thanks. Chey Watson: ones that I have dealt with, they didn't really know what to say. They're just like, stay in there. You got this, stuff like that. Pete: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Chey Watson: And... I just went deeper and deeper down the hole, but at the same time I couldn't believe what Maren Ecosta: you. Chey Watson: I did to myself. And I just like went down that shame, that line of shame and guilt. And Pete: Yeah. Chey Watson: that's what you gotta get out of. that's every time I end up having those Maren Ecosta: Thank Chey Watson: suicidal ideations, like I always Pete: Yeah. Chey Watson: remind myself my son cannot be here without me. the only person that's going to be able to protect him Pete: Yeah. Chey Watson: because of my family and the way that they are. I'm Pete: Yeah. Chey Watson: not going to get too deep into it other than. Pete: No, you're good. Listen, Che. Chey, thank you so much for sharing that. I'm just Chey Watson: Yeah. Pete: gonna cut you off there that I know we I appreciate you sharing that. That was something I didn't even see coming Maren Ecosta: Thank Pete: there. Next up, the man, the myth of legend, Maren Ecosta: I love you. Pete: Mr. Noah May. What do you have for me, man? What would you tell somebody if you thought they were gonna kill themselves? What advice or what would you say to them, man? I know you've been there before, so what what would you say your your what would you say to them? Maren Ecosta: Thank Noah May: I would say well first off, I didn't hear Che at all talking for some reason on my end. I I Sharmaine: Yeah, not the one. Noah May: I he's not popping up on my screen, so I heard really nothing of what he said. So I don't know if I'm the only one that was Sharmaine: No, you're not the only one. I was very confused, but I could tell other people could have could by their head Maren Ecosta: Thank Sharmaine: bobbing, so I was like, Okay, I'm just gonna shut up. Noah May: Yeah. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): I heard it all. Pete: Well yeah. So yeah, Maren Ecosta: I heard. Pete: I dunno why you can't hear her. We all are hearing her, but it's it's all right though. Maren Ecosta: hard. IYHWSS: I heard. Pete: So So Noah, though the question to you though is is what what advice would you have for somebody, man? I know you've been there, so what what would you say Noah May: Yeah. Pete: would your what would you say to someone? Noah May: Yeah, you know, I I think I experienced it at a very young age. I was thirteen when I started having those thoughts of wanting to commit suicide at the point. But kind of what has it everyone else has kind of said too. It's it really depends on the person. I think it really Pete: Mm-hmm. Noah May: just depends on it, 'cause everyone has different things. For me, music Chey Watson: Yeah. Noah May: was always kind of my number one go to and it helped save me a lot during that time. Now, don't get me wrong, I do like dark humor from now time to time, but it just Chey Watson: Yeah. Pete: Mm-hmm. Noah May: really depends on the person. but the advice that I always give to others is just someone's always out there that you everyone's going through something that you may not know. And I've learned so many people over the years that I've met have actually been going through something like mental health related and I just had that stigma of like you just don't look like you would be going through that just from how you are and Pete: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Chey Watson: Yeah. Noah May: how you act. It's like everything in Chey Watson: That's what I got. Noah May: your life is just Maren Ecosta: Yeah. Noah May: perfect. So I I would say that don't keep it bottled up. Someone out there is always Maren Ecosta: Thank Noah May: listening and is always going through something. It's just important to know that there are people out there that want that. Pete: I've I've six individuals here in these windows here that are definitely running the listen, including me seven. So you're one hundred percent correct in that one, man. Maren Ecosta: you. Pete: All right, Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): Can I say something Pete: guys. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): real quick? Pete: Yeah, go right ahead, Dorothy. You're warm and welcome. You just lay Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): Jay. Pete: down girl. Go for it. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): Thank you for what you shared. And I just met you, but I love you. And I'm glad that you're here because you made me smile. And that is something that we can give each other. And that's why we're here, is that we are able to give people that one moment of happiness and Maren Ecosta: you Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): clarity. And if we can give that and share it with others, that's how we keep them here. Maren Ecosta: Yeah. Chey Watson: Yeah. IYHWSS: I actually I I Pete: I agree. IYHWSS: have something. So okay. and actually everybody Pete: Go for it, buddy. Go for it. IYHWSS: that has ever attempted it, there's something that I always tell myself, because I have tried it like seven times and seven times I was a failure. And so I always tell myself Maren Ecosta: you IYHWSS: and everybody else that if you're going to be bad at something, if you're going to fail at something, fail at that. And so congratulations Pete: Mm. I love it, man. Sharmaine: Mm. Yeah. Chey Watson: Yeah. IYHWSS: to all of us failures. Because we're still here. And we're learning from every failure. Sharmaine: Right. Maren Ecosta: Yeah, it's a long term solution Pete: Right. Chey Watson: Yeah. Maren Ecosta: to a temporary Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): Mm-hmm. Maren Ecosta: problem. Pete: Yeah, yeah, true. Very true. Sharmaine: Absolutely. I love that. Pete: So let's let's talk about the internet, guys. All right. So the scary statistic that Uncle Jimmy and I had discovered while we were doing a episode together was that when the internet was introduced, 22% rise in number of suicides in young men. it's it's scary, man. The internet is not good for young minds. Like there's even a poll where he said that. 54% of parents were saying that it's negative for them, but yet we still let them access these things. Why do you feel like, Chey Watson: Yeah. Pete: you know, why do you feel like the internet is so bad? Like in just in your own honest opinions. I could tell you though, I cannot stand these F these videos where it's like, well, after you take your life, this will happen. It's like you're not helping the situation by this video. You know, I'm sure I've done this a few times, a few people. I'm like, I can't stand those videos. They're so goddamn annoying to watch because it's like, Chey Watson: Exactly. Yeah. It's the... Pete: You know, somebody that's there, they're not listening anymore. You're you're you've already lost them at that point. Now you're giving them more motivation because Maren Ecosta: Yeah. Pete: you're basically telling life goes on when they're not there. So IYHWSS: I think that people on the internet have this sense of invincibility that they can say and treat people however they want, and there are zero repercussions because if I am saying something to you, Pete, and you could be in England and I could be in, I don't know, Mexico, what you do over there in England doesn't affect my life whatsoever. Maren Ecosta: Thank you. Pete: Mm-hmm. Maren Ecosta: . Chey Watson: Yeah. IYHWSS: So people I think that go on the internet and just just lambast every single person and over honestly the dumbest shit. And just do not let up until Maren Ecosta: Thank you. Pete: Mm-hmm. Sharmaine: Hm mm IYHWSS: that person says, you know what? Okay, I'm checking out. Boom. Pete: Yeah. Chey Watson: Yeah. IYHWSS: And Yeah. Maren Ecosta: Keyboard warriors. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): And it's very Pete: Mm-hmm. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): it's very Maren Ecosta: The screen gives you like Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): easy to be influenced. Maren Ecosta: the, like makes you feel tough. Makes you feel like you can say and do things that you would never say and do to that person to their face. Pete: Yeah. Maren Ecosta: You know, so it gives you this like sense of power when you're already, when they're a negative person. Like. Chey Watson: Yeah, especially and I feel like it's a lot of people who feel. Sharmaine: As a parent of a teenager, and of five other teenagers that I've had to raise, I I I my my youngest he doesn't get internet access. The only way he gets internet access is it's at school and I fight them over Pete: Yeah. Sharmaine: it. I argue with them Pete: Yeah. Sharmaine: over it and I sit there and I go and tell them, Hey, this site is a pedo site. Why is my son able Pete: Mm-hmm. Sharmaine: to access this site on and why aren't you guys putting these sites on lockdown and this and that? So I am I took I completely took it away because the effects that it was having on my son were not good. And, you know, the effects that it had on other his siblings were were not good. Chey Watson: Okay. Sharmaine: You know, one, put themselves in very s very dangerous, seriously dangerous situations, like I said, pedo sites, you know, and they really they really could put these things and make look like they're they're school appropriate learning sites and stuff. but yeah, once I started taking that away, I it was like, okay, no more video games. You get you get regular Mario, you get Mario Pete: Mm-hmm. Chey Watson: Okay. Sharmaine: Kart with me. You'll get we we'll play Donkey Kong, we'll play all the old the Nintendo stuff all day long with each other. But when it comes to the other games and stuff, nope. I internet games and having access to any of that, Chey Watson: I feel the same way about that. Sharmaine: nope, I cut it Pete: Mm. Sharmaine: off. I completely cut off all access. and I don't Pete: Yeah. Maren Ecosta: Thanks. Sharmaine: I I don't lose sleep at night over it. I can tell you that. Pete: Everybody anybody else have any anything to say about that? Because I mean I agree. I think that's what it should be. Chey Watson: I completely agree. Pete: You ever notice now that Instagram has the child's version now all of a sudden? All of a sudden. Chey Watson: Yeah. Sharmaine: No, I don't know because I don't go on there. That's the cell's job. Pete: You know why that is though? Well well, Instagram institu instituted the child, child Instagram where parents can watch it more because Facebook owns them, got in trouble because they weren't policing their own site. And it was funny. It's like you have to get in that much trouble to go police your own site because the things, think of these things people are saying. You know, like these guy active shooters are saying wild did the wildest thing. Go back to their social media and start watching them. look, he made this crazy post here, made this post there. this. And then like no I I think it was Noah said was that, you know, when it's mental health is mentioned, it just Okay, we're just tossing the wrong. It's all right, you know. It Sharmaine: Yeah. Pete: gets thrown around a lot, but then we don't want to deal with the problem, you know, and it's an issue. And you know, we we also mm-hmm. Sharmaine: We wanna put it out there as a label. But we don't wanna actually do we don't wanna actually deal with what's under that label. We just like slappin' labels on Pete: Yeah, exactly. Sharmaine: things. Label this, label that, label this, label that, Chey Watson: There you go. Sharmaine: you know? Like I've gone through it medically and and you know, relationship wise and all the other things, addict and and this and that, you know, nar all these other things, you know, and It's just we like to put labels on things and then not see what actually is underneath that label. That's my view. Pete: Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Mike, you got anything up there for me, man? You always drop some inspirational things in there every so often. Come on. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): I don't have anything inspirational, but I know as a Pete: Mike's like Maren Ecosta: Please get the bit. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): as a young teenager Pete: Mm. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): it's easy to get influenced and when you're talking to all these people that you think are your friends online and they're all saying, Pete: Mm-hmm. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): I attempted last week, I attempted the week before and all of a sudden that becomes like the cool thing to do to fit in your group and it's not. But that I think that's a lot of where the social media and everything comes into play and causes a lot of problems. Chey Watson: Yeah, and not only that, it's a space where it's not protected enough because I... Sharmaine: Yes, I absolutely agree. Noah May: think from for me personally I was I was kind of in the height Pete: Mm-hmm. Noah May: of when social media came about 'cause I was a round twelve or thirteen once social media started really taking off. And Pete: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Noah May: I I didn't really have that kind of effect from social media. I had more of like real life world experiences that kind of triggered my mental health. But now you've seen a lot of countries even outside I've seen I've heard from people I've interviewed from guests all over the world that said that their country is gonna put laws where people under the age of sixteen cannot be using social media Maren Ecosta: Thanks. Noah May: really anymore. You Pete: Mm-hmm. Noah May: have to get approved for it. And I think now recently I just saw the other day Facebook and Instagram and all that was putting like a two hour limit on children to use social Maren Ecosta: Thanks for listening. Noah May: media to help lower that down. So it's something that I think would have been needed. It had to be needed years and years ago. But Pete: Yeah. Yeah, that's that's what Shay was saying Chey Watson: Yeah. Pete: too that you I knew you couldn't hear, but she was saying the same thing. They didn't take they're not con policing it enough. And and that's Sharmaine: Well yeah, so Maren Ecosta: Yeah. Chey Watson: Yeah. Pete: why they start introducing all that stuff is because of that reason they got in trouble. Because think about it, like I said, if you go back to some of these guys, what they're posting, and it's like nobody's nobody's watching them. They're Well, we have to watch them. Yeah, it's your site. You have to police your own site. Don't allow these kind of things. And then you know, if you go to a lot of these comment sections too, man. you know, Maddie, who is not here with us, but she was a co-host of me for another show. Like she she had a wild story. If y'all have not heard this girl's story, but she was like, I was posting stuff and people reacting Maren Ecosta: Thank Pete: like to her her story, like telling her go to go, you're crazy, this and that, that all these like harsh things, but not realizing what she deals with on a daily basis. And I know Marin has BPD. That's that's an extreme level one too. Like, people don't like you hear all these stories. And they make it Maren Ecosta: So. Pete: sound so bad, but it's really not if you take time to understand exactly what they're dealing with, you know? Chey Watson: I'm Zachary. Maren Ecosta: Yep. Which is Pete: So Maren Ecosta: why I speak out so much about BPD Chey Watson: Yeah. Maren Ecosta: and a lot of my material and my content on social media is explaining borderline personality disorder because Pete: Mm-hmm. Maren Ecosta: it is so misunderstood. And Pete: Yeah, one hundred percent. Maren Ecosta: yeah, so misunderstood. When you say I have depression, all the people, you know, have sympathy for you. And then when you say I have BPD, they're like, you know, like totally different. Pete: Yeah, exactly. Chey Watson: Yeah, they completely, especially even with bipolar. Sharmaine: I talk about a lot of T DI and post concussion syndrome and the ba and Pete: Mm-hmm. Sharmaine: the way that affects your mental health. 'Cause I've been there. Pete: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, you know, things like that, like the extreme levels where Marin and Charmaine, you know, the things they have, a lot of people don't understand, but it's like we have these great devices. So how about we just look it up and see like the information's there? I even hosted the the at the what somebody's an expert in the field, Dr. Jed Bellinger came on the show and we talked about it, you know, like why are people, you know, don't mistaken them? Because a lot of people think when you say BvT you mean bipolar. I'm like, no, we're talking about something way higher on another scale because it's Chey Watson: Mm-hmm. Pete: so so extreme for a lot of these individuals. And like Maren was saying, she's out there pushing this content out to let people know. I know her other partner who was supposed to be here and unfortunately couldn't join us. I know Jules does a lot for the bipolar side of too. She starts explaining Maren Ecosta: Yeah. Pete: people what it's like. And it's really interesting to see because you know she's out there sharing it with everybody, letting them know exactly what it is, 'cause you know, even though we have access to the internet, we choose not to inform ourselves. We choose to hate each other for some reason. I don't know why, but I guess that's what we've chosen Chey Watson: Yeah. Pete: at this point. You know it Maren Ecosta: Yeah, and we did, me and Jules just did a series about borderline personality disorder versus bipolar, like the differences. Like we talked Pete: Yeah. Yeah. Maren Ecosta: about each other. Like we did a co-hosting series together about that. Pete: Yeah, I I had an episode drop too. It was what it's saying bipolar isn't the same thing. I think it was called or something like that. But yeah, we did talk about that too, about how a lot of times people mistaken the two because of the the both of the abbreviations. But when you really look at it on Maren Ecosta: Right. Pete: the scale, BPD is so much more. You know, what you guys deal with is it's just it's out there, you know. And a lot of Chey Watson: Mm-hmm. Pete: people, you know, like I said, we we have these great devices. We choose not to choose not to inform ourselves of things. We like to choose to hate everything that we don't understand instead of asking questions. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): It also Maren Ecosta: Right. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): it also has to do with the fact that Pete: Go ahead, Dory. Hit it with us. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): education. We've devalued Maren Ecosta: Yeah. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): education so much in this country, you know, starting in the eighties. So a lot of people Pete: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): when they see the information and they look up the information, they can't understand it because their education, not of their own fault necessarily, but our education system has been so, so devalued that it's impossible for them to un even understand what they're reading. Sharmaine: Mm-hmm. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): So the only thing that they can understand is caricatures. So then Pete: Mm-hmm. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): what does media do? They feed into caricatures because they need the clicks and the money. So they just put out caricatures of every single type of you know person out there. And it does a huge disservice for all of us. And then we're basing our personal lives, our growth on the caricatures that we see. And when we don't match those. then we either think, well, then I don't have it and I must be, you know, crazy, or I do have it, but I don't look like them. I need to look like them. And then I'll get what I need. Pete: Yeah, see that's the thing too. Good point, Dory. Very good point. Chey Watson: Yeah. Pete: Yeah, really good fucking point. Maren Ecosta: And that's actually something Maddie brought up in, when me and Maddie had an episode together, she said, I hate the word high functioning. She Pete: Mm-hmm. Maren Ecosta: said, you know, that a lot of people are like, well, she's high functioning bipolar or she's high functioning. She said, can't I just be me and have what I have? You know what, you know, I was like, yeah, I never really thought of it that way, but very true. They look at you and they're like, yeah, you're high functioning though. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): But high functioning, I mean what the fuck does that sorry, what does that even mean? Because Sharmaine: No Maren Ecosta: Exactly! Pete: No, go no no go ahead. Listen. Listen. You c you can say whatever Chey Watson: No. Pete: you want here. There's no limit to the swearing. Go for it. Give Chey Watson: For real, like... Pete: it give it that feeling. Go for it. I mean Maren Ecosta: Hehehe. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): Well, it it doesn't make sense because what's high functioning to you? What does that necessarily mean to you? Could be totally Sharmaine: Exactly. Pete: Exactly. Mm-hmm. Maren Ecosta: Exactly. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): different than me. Or depending upon the Sharmaine: You know what has high functioning for me Chey Watson: Ew. Sharmaine: is going to the freaking grocery store. That's high functioning Maren Ecosta: Right. Sharmaine: for me. Like being able to go Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): Yes. Sharmaine: to the grocery store and deal with all the lights and all that and not have a seizure. Chey Watson: Yeah. Sharmaine: That's high functioning Pete: Yeah. Sharmaine: for me. But for somebody else, they're like, that's my everyday life. Well, we're all different. You know? Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): Right. Yeah, so you can't put it on that, you know Chey Watson: I know Charmaine can't hear me, but I Pete: Eight personal. Chey Watson: kind of feel her because I have seizures and I get scared about having them in public Pete: Yeah. Chey Watson: because the way people react and it makes it so much worse for me. Like the seizure is Pete: Yeah. Yeah. So so Chey Watson: more intensifies because there's people surround you and it brings up my anxiety like. all the way the fuck up because I don't like being stared at and Pete: Yeah. So so Charmaine, you can't hear what Shay said, but Shay said she deals with the seizures as well. She said her only thing is that Maren Ecosta: Thanks. Pete: she's afraid when, you know, if it happens in public, people start surrounding her and it makes her anxiety go through. Do you do you have that same Sharmaine: Yeah. Pete: fear though? Sharmaine: Yes, no, I Maren Ecosta: Thank you. Sharmaine: yeah, I I deal with the same thing. yeah, Pete: Really great point, Jay. I really like that. It was great. Sharmaine: I've been but I've Maren Ecosta: Thank Sharmaine: been dealing with wine for so long now where I and I kind of like hit this point where I just I'm so open about all the other things that I've been in my life. Pete: Yeah. Sharmaine: It's like I just kinda like yeah, I wear diapers. You wanna know why? Because I don't wanna piss all over the floor at Walmart. Yeah, that's why. You know? And I just kind of like I'm Pete: Yeah. No, I hear you. Sharmaine: just I'm just open about it because a lot of people are really embarrassed. And don't get me wrong, it is embarrassing, you know, having them ring those diapers up, but it's way more embarrassing. Yeah. It's way more embarrassing to be Pete: Hey, listen, listen, you gotta do what you gotta do. That's what matters at the end of the day. Fuck everybody else's opinion. You you gotta do you. Maren Ecosta: Right. Chey Watson: Yeah. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): Yes. Sharmaine: to be walking through Walmart with wet pants. You know so Maren Ecosta: Yeah. Sharmaine: You know, but yeah, no, the seizures I would when I first they first started, I would 'cause mine would sometimes are just like this wailing cry. They start out as this wailing cry and it's an uncontrollable, very, very loud, so it grabs everybody's attention. And so and then it would then my CPTSD would kick in. And then and then I would go into almost like these Vietnam war bet PTSD backflashes and it was it was bad. Like I couldn't go out in public for a very, very long time because those kinds of things would happen to me a lot. between the domestic violence that I was enduring at the time and the domestic violence that I endured in the relationship prior, you know. Chey Watson: Okay. Okay. Sharmaine: I wasn't very open Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): And Sharmaine: about my domestic violence that I was enduring at the time until recently. But you know, there was there was a lot that I was enduring. So yeah, when you're dealing with those seizures, yeah, absolutely. I was afraid for everybody who looked at me. Pete: Yeah. Yeah. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): And that that kind of talks about the caricatures, you know. Chey Watson: I am she can't hear me but like I I like Sharmaine: Mm-hmm. Chey Watson: as she's speaking I'm literally relating to everything she's saying because I went through DV Pete: I mean it tastes Chey Watson: and it made my seizures so much worse Pete: She's very emotional, but she said she feels everything you're saying right now. She said she wanted to let you know she is definitely feeling it all. She can relate to everything like that. She knows that you couldn't hear, so I'm relaying it for you. Sharmaine: Yeah, thank for relaying it. Thank you for sharing your your experience. And you I'm always there. You can look me up on the socials, Instagram, the look into the glass. Yeah, Pete: I'll get you guys linked for sure. Sharmaine: give it hook us up. I'm I'm there. You wanna talk? I've been going through this for many years. I've been gaslit by many doctors. I've went through the ringers. I you know, so I I can tell you from my own personal experiences, but that's all the only what I can speak to you from. I there are other things, you know, that I've learned along the ways that and we we really have discuss the seizures a lot on our ep on our podcast too. Especially the non epileptic Pete: Yeah, yeah. We did Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): And Sharmaine: seizures, 'cause that's what I have. Mine are non epileptic. They have to do with the tr traumatic brain injury Chey Watson: That's me. That's me. Maren Ecosta: That. Pete: There you go. Sharmaine: and then trauma response from the body. Pete: This is a chain, then you'll have you'll take it up for Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): And a lot of people don't know that. Pete: sure. Yeah, definitely. True, true, Dorik. Go ahead. I'll cut you off again. You go for it, girl. Laid on him. Laid on Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): I'm sorry. It's just a lot of people don't get the chance to know that there's different types of seizures. Everybody assumes Sharmaine: No, they don't. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): it's just the one where you your eyes roll to the back of your head and you drop, Chey Watson: Yeah. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): and then that's what makes everybody crowd around, unfortunately, because nobody knows that shit happens, but it's not gonna look the exact same way that you saw it on, you know, Gray's Anatomy. Maren Ecosta: Right. Sharmaine: Or the way you Pete: Exactly. Chey Watson: Yeah, Sharmaine: imagined it in your head. I've Chey Watson: I literally wear a bracelet. Pete: Yeah. Sharmaine: had literally had ER doctors. I was in the middle of a seizure, ER doctor go, I cause I can hear him. And he was he literally told my husband, I don't know what that is, but that's not a seizure, and took his entire medical staff out the door with him while I am seizing in that bed. And when I looked Chey Watson: Yeah. Sharmaine: it up and I had I looked up the the the what the you know what see the seizures, what they look like, and I'm like, I had every single one of those. Like I got gas lit. Pete: Chay, Cha Cha's Chey Watson: Yeah! Pete: agreeing with you right now, by the way, Charmaine. You can't hear, but she is definitely agreeing with you. She's she's dealt with the same thing. she's currently going through that right now. Chey Watson: I'm going through that right now. They called me a drug Sharmaine: Yeah, yeah. No, the gaslighting and all that. Chey Watson: addict. Sharmaine: Well yeah, look us up, we'll give her my information. I'm more than happy to talk with him. Yeah. Yeah. Pete: Definitely we'll we'll link you guys up for sure. I'll get you guys linked up for sure. So, guys, as we get close to the end of this thing, you know, I wanted to thank you all for coming and joining me for this two year anniversary. I appreciate it. It's been great hosting all of you except for Jay, which I will definitely get hosted for sure, because we're gonna have a deep conversation there. But I I wanted to thank you all. It's been great. You know, when I started this thing two years ago, I wouldn't even know what the hell was gonna happen. I didn't think people are gonna fucking listen, I'll be honest with you now. But Sharmaine: Right. Pete: now if I've I've been of slowly approaching thirty thousand downloads and things like that, it's great. So I do have something very special here planned for you. I don't know if Giselle told you, but I do have something. So hold on a second, guys. Let's see if it pulls up. My screen's a mirror. Come on, mirror. Do in the mirror. Okay, so I was trying to show you, but I have a certificate here that I showed to Zelle that I'm gonna let you know that I made for you and honor your 10,000 downloads. I was very proud of you. I'm so happy to see you guys flourish. I remember the day you all reached out and were like, hey, listen, how did I get into this thing? But I'm I'm so proud of you. I have a certificate I had someone else help me make for you. I was gonna show it to you. But obviously the share function doesn't want to work on this right now, but I'll definitely send you a copy. I showed it to Giselle because when Chey Watson: You're out a lot of paint. Pete: she said she wasn't gonna make it, so she already knew ahead of time. But I want to say congratulations, you know, it's it's been great. I'm so excited for you guys. I know you're at 13 now, you know, and and just look how far you come, man. It's it's taking time, you know. You you you're doing this thing. And you didn't Sharmaine: We're actually almost to fifteen thousand downloads now. You might want to change that. You've jumped. Noah May: Mm-hmm. Pete: know you you didn't know and you didn't know there was where it was gonna go either. Like, you what I'm saying? Like, you it's Sharmaine: No, we had no idea. Pete: it is Sharmaine: Yeah, no, we had no idea. We still don't have any idea. You know, we just keep showing up and like the people keep show contacting us and and you know, doing stuff like this and and you know, my purpose I always thought was supposed to be veterinarian, working with the animals and stuff like that. That's what and then after hitting my head, you know, I really felt like my purpose was taken for me. Yeah. Pete: Chase giving you a thumbs up on that one too. She said, Yep, that's her too. Maren Ecosta: Hehehehehe Sharmaine: But but now, you know, Chey Watson: You Sharmaine: I've got this purpose. I you know, I found this or my husband found this. This was me in two thousand fifteen, right after I hit my head in my active addiction. And this is me now. You know? Yeah. Pete: Difference. It looks the same. Looks the same to me. Sharmaine: well Pete: You're still the same person regardless, Kurt. Sharmaine: yeah, but you know, I this has been this has been an amazing thing. I get I I love podcasting. Never thought I would say that. Never thought I would be a podcaster, but like this has been a gift. It really has. Like I love every moment of it. Pete: Yeah. Yeah. All right, guys. Maren Ecosta: Thank you. Pete: It's time for that part of this episode. You all know what's coming, okay? For all of you that have already answered the they already know the mental health song question. Che, really quick, what is your mental health song really fast? I know everybody else has answered this. Noah, you may have a new one. I don't know. You have to let me know. But Che, go ahead and let us know what it is. Look at she gotta think about this one. Chey Watson: one that I found, when I was going through really hard times, I started listening to Citizen Soldier, like his song, Burden. Pete: Mm, mm-hmm. Chey Watson: It says you, he says, you are not a burden to me. Tell me you're hell. I'd rather you be here than, bury you six feet under and stuff like that. That was like my favorite favorite song because it because I always Pete: Yeah, so it's so it's the soldier's dead. Chey Watson: felt like a burden because that's how my family made me feel that's how my relationships made me feel Even certain front people that I had as friends They made me feel like Maren Ecosta: Thanks. Chey Watson: I was a burden because I was going through so much at once and they were just like yo You're too much like Pete: Yeah. Chey Watson: and I literally dealt with it alone And then I ended up in an abusive relationship and it just like made it ten times worse. Like, my god. Pete: Yeah. So Noah, I know that we haven't seen each other since season one, man. Do you what would you say your mental health song is, man? I don't think we've ever asked this question to you. So what would you say if your mental health had a song, what would you say it would be? Noah May: Hmm. I don't know. Honestly, I think Pete: Look at he's I don't know. The gr Noah May: it changes so much. I don't hmm. I ca I don't know what really Pete: It's a really good question, isn't it? Noah May: song would would be a good like would explain my mental health story. Something that had to do with a roller coaster. So any song would fit into that. Pete: Okay. So Sharmaine: Yeah, Chey Watson: Yeah. Maren Ecosta: Thank you. Sharmaine: right. Noah May: Any song that mentions a roller Chey Watson: For real, like I think. Noah May: coaster or has a roller coaster in the name, that's that would probably be my song. Pete: So we we have a hall of fame answer to this question so far. In case none of you've seen this episode that just came out with when I talked to Keith, Keith told me that his song was Grandma Got Ran Over by a reindeer. I damn near die laughing. I damn near died laughing on the chair. I almost fell out of chair. In fact, because when he said it, I was just like, Wait, Chey Watson: I love it. Pete: what? I was like, What did you just say? He's like, Yeah. Maren Ecosta: He was there. Pete: Well, what the hell was that kind of answer, man? He was like, Well, you know, and I'm like So all right guys, here we go. The Sharmaine: It's mine. Pete: Listen, you wanna you wanna use it too? Let me tell you it's the greatest thing I ever heard when he said that. I was like, Wait, a Christmas Sharmaine: Yeah. Pete: song? Wait a minute. But all right, guys. Maren Ecosta: Okay. Sharmaine: I love it. Chey Watson: my comfort song when I actually like, I'm feeling like very overstimulated. I Nightmare for Christmas. I do, this Sharmaine: My mental health song changed. Chey Watson: is Halloween. Sharmaine: And it my my change well see Menomena. Pete: Yours change? Okay. Okay, Charmaine, what is it? Maren Ecosta: Thank Sharmaine: Yeah, sorry, Muppets Menomena will always forever be back there. It that's just me. Babe, that is just me. But the this the brand new day by the Sons of Legions. That is my that is my song. Brand new day by Sons of Legion Legions. Pete: Mike Mike and Dora, you guys do you guys your same song or were you changing it? Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): I still love this the old song, but you know, thinking about the Muppets I love to put down the Ducky. That Sharmaine: Mm-hmm. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): that song Pete: That's awesome. That's awesome. Okay. All right. That's awesome. Mike, what do you got for me? Anything different or are we gonna go with the same one, man? Okay. Marin, you're up. You're the last one here, man. What are you thinking here? Are we Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): Well going with the same one. I got nothing. Noah May: Yes. Sharmaine: Yeah, about this man. Maren Ecosta: Love is a battlefield. Pete: Love is a battlefield. Chey Watson: OOOOHHHH Sharmaine: that's a good song. Maren Ecosta: That is not. Pete: So mine has changed, though. My own personal ones have changed. Okay. So my anxiety song is How Do You Sleep by Hoopisting. Like I drive my girlfriend crazy when I sing that song because that How Do You Sleep is just constantly going. And that's how my anxiety is. It just kind of keeps going. and then my my depression songs are still the same two ones. It what is it? Leave the light and talk about the dark, and then different kind of pain by cold. So all right, guys, we're at that point of this episode before we start wrapping up. You all know what question is coming. If you could break the stigma about mental health now one at a time, I'm gonna start with Shay and then we're gonna work our way around. What is your answer to that question? Chey Watson: in all honesty, Pete: Anything anything that just pisses you off that you hear people saying, just what is the one thing you're thinking of? Chey Watson: people always calling you crazy. Like they make it seem like, you belong in a mental health ward. Yeah, Pete: People calling you crazy, yeah. I agree. I agree. Chey Watson: like especially, feel like, especially if you're a woman, if you overreact Pete: Yeah. Chey Watson: immediately, like, and you're not consolable or whatever, and you're having like an episode. Pete: You're acting crazy, yeah. Yeah, the old statement comes out, yep. Okay, so Charmaine, Shay's statement was is that she said that when you people call you crazy, like you know, say like ladies you start getting a little why upset about something, which rightfully so you're probably mad 'cause we did something to piss you off. You know, then they start labeling you as crazy for no reason. So that was her answer. Sharmaine: Yeah, that's why I went like this. I felt that I felt it through the I didn't have to hear it. I felt it. That's sorry in sign language. Pete: I love it. Sharmaine: I feel you. I feel you girl. I I feel you. but repeat the question again. Wha what and damage. what my god. Pete: So if you could break the stigma about mental health, what would you say that one thing would be like? Anything that's pissing you off currently, what Maren Ecosta: . Pete: do you what do got for us? Sharmaine: We all know what pisses me out. Emotions are weak. Emotions are ne not weak. Feeling emotions takes Pete: Yeah, I agree. I agree. Sharmaine: courage and so much strength. So if you're doing the Pete: Yeah. Chey Watson: Okay. Sharmaine: work, my hands my hat's tipped off to you. If you're doing the work at all, whether it's a tiny step Chey Watson: Yeah. Sharmaine: or a huge step, because it it's not healing, it's not linear. And w you know, sometimes it's ten steps forward and three steps backwards, and I know that's how it's been with mine. Maren Ecosta: . Chey Watson: learning that. Sharmaine: You know, 'cause life still be life', you know. It I it I that's what it does, you know. But yeah, just emotions aren't weak. They're they're they're they're they're power and they're strength. Pete: Exactly. All right, Mike and Dory, what do Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): And to that point men Pete: you got? Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): and to that point men can have emotions too. Maren Ecosta: Yeah. Sharmaine: Yes, very much. Pete: Mike, I told you, Mike comes in with the great things all the time, guys. Let me tell you what. He may be quiet most of the time, but he just rops those nuggets, man. I'm telling you. I love it. All right, Mike and Dory. All right. What do you got for me? If you could break the stigma about mental health, what would you say that one thing was? And Mike, I know you got something for me. Come on, buddy. Lay it on a stick. Maren Ecosta: . Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): I don't say much. Sharmaine: we're big on the dungeons. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): I I'll go first, Mike. good, could I hang on Pete: Yeah. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): not? Sharmaine: Yeah. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): Don't say calm down. That Pete: Mm-hmm. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): that drives me nuts. I don't care what you're going through at that moment. Feel it. Pete: Mm-hmm. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): Let it, you know, ride through you. Don't come up and say, well, calm down. You got, you know, Chey Watson: Yes. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): you just got run over. How are you gonna calm down? Pete: Fantastic point. Fantastic Sharmaine: Right? Yes. Chey Watson: UGHHHH Pete: point. Chey Watson: Take that. The calm down makes it worse. Sharmaine: He's still like none. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): Yes. It Maren Ecosta: You are. Noah May: Yeah. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): it does. And it also kind of makes especially as a female or a woman, it Pete: Mm-hmm. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): makes you feel like you're not even being listened to and that when the jerk Chey Watson: Exactly! Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): reaction is, well calm down. Sharmaine: We have to calm down. That's my response. Chey Watson: you must be on your monthly. Nonsense. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): yeah. Pete: That's the other thing you hear too. Chey Watson: UGH! Pete: Mike, you don't got anything for us. It's okay, man. I you dropped that nugget a minute ago. It's okay, man. I'm not putting you on the spot, brother. Yeah, Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): Not yet. Come back to me. And men do have that time of the month too. Pete: we do. Chey Watson: For real Pete: We do. All right, no. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): Yeah, I agree. Pete: If you could break this stigma about mental health, what would you say that one thing would be, my man? Noah May: that therapy is not only for crazy people. That was kind of a mentality that I had growing Pete: Ooh, really good one. Okay. Noah May: up. Chey Watson: Yeah! Noah May: TV and movies, you know, they always see a psychiatrist's office, you see someone that's like talking with aliens or something. And, you know, that's just not true all the time. You know, you see everyday people in those kind of offices. Like a mother and child could be sitting in there if someone that's having a therapy session before they go into their nine to five job. You know, it's a Pete: Mm-hmm. Noah May: I don't want people to think that just because you go to a therapy or psychiatrist you're crazy. It's not. It's people that are there for help and you'd be surprised about how many pe normal people y you could just look at and be like, That is something like they have anything going on. So that's that's a stigma that I had to learn myself 'cause I was kind of in that mentality, but that's number one for me. It's that you don't have to be crazy to be go to go to a therapist or h see a psychiatrist or anything. Pete: Really, really good point. Mike, do you need me to come back to you or are you gonna pass on this one? All right, brother. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): Yeah. I got one. Pete: Come on, Mike. You got this. Lay it on him. Lay on it, Chey Watson: Yay, come on. Pete: buddy. Come on. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): you're not alone. A lot of people think have ideations, a lot of people think about it, a lot of people hate themselves. You're not alone. Pete: Thank you. Thank you. Mike coming in with that nugget. I told you. Chey Watson: Yes! Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): Other people need to respect that and understand. Pete: I told y'all. What did I tell y'all? Mike Mike comes in with these nuggets. I'm telling you, man. Don't let him fool you. He is great. He is great. Chey Watson: That was the one for me was I didn't know that people went through so much that I went through and I'm like, my gosh, that is like just mind Pete: Yeah. Definitely. Chey Watson: blowing to me because I felt alone, know? That was one of those things for me because I didn't relate Pete: Yeah. Fantastic point, Mike. I love it. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): Yeah. Chey Watson: to anybody. Pete: So, all right, Miss Acosta, you're the final one of this question. If you could break the stigma Maren Ecosta: Okay. Pete: of mental health, what would you say that one thing would be? Maren Ecosta: Learn the difference between empathy and sympathy. I can use your compassion and I don't want your fucking pity. Chey Watson: Yes. Pete: I love it. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): Yes. Pete: I love Sharmaine: Yeah, Pete: it. Sharmaine: that's a good one. Maren Ecosta: Yeah. Pete: Yeah. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): That's to be honest. T shirt. Yeah, that's Chey Watson: For real, like, they're like, Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): a T shirt. A bumper sticker. Chey Watson: I don't want you to tell me sorry, Sharmaine: Yeah, that's a definitely Noah May: Mm-hmm. Pete: Okay. Chey Watson: I just. Sharmaine: a t shirt. Pete: Everybody Maren Ecosta: Yes, Pete: unanimously said that was fantastic. Maren Ecosta: I don't want you to feel sorry for me. Hear me out, have compassion, Pete: Yeah. Chey Watson: Yeah. Maren Ecosta: you know, be loving, but don't feel sorry for me. I don't want you to feel sorry for me. I'm not feeling, I'm not trying to feel sorry for myself. Pete: Exactly. Sharmaine: Mm hmm. I love that one. Chey Watson: That's one of the things I hate the most, people are like, I'm sorry you went through that. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): Yeah, you can be sorry about the situation, but don't Maren Ecosta: Yes. Pete: Mm-hmm. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): be sorry for me or to me or anything like that. Pete: Love it. I love Maren Ecosta: Yes. Pete: it. All right guys, with that Chey Watson: We need to come up with a different way to say, for them to come to us rather than saying the I'm sorry nonsense because it's just like, Maren Ecosta: Yeah. Chey Watson: that's not what I'm looking for. I Pete: Yeah. Maren Ecosta: Right. Chey Watson: just needed someone to talk to and vent to and, know, like, hey, I'm over Pete: Yeah, we just want you to listen. Chey Watson: it. Like, I can talk about these things now and Pete: Yeah. Chey Watson: people still say I'm sorry. And I'm like, I'm good. I go to therapy, I go to support groups. Bye. Pete: I just wanna yeah. I I think it's makes people uncomfortable when you start saying a lot of things sometimes they don't know what to say, so that's what they say. You know, think think of it like a grief moment, like you don't know what to say to a lot of people, they're grieving, you know, a lot of people want to say they're sorry, but they don't want to hear none of that too, you know what mean? So I mean Chey Watson: Yeah. Pete: it makes sense. So a lot of people are just not ready for those type of conversations. I had a situation with that before where someone got upset at another person. I'm like, but think about it, like the conversation of grief isn't for everybody, so you know, but guys, with that being said We're gonna wrap up this episode of Pete for Excited. Before we do, I'm gonna let y'all plug exactly where to find y'all. Che, where can they find you if they wanna come support you? Let them know. Chey Watson: I have tortured Sally on Instagram, tortured Sally 93 on Instagram. That's the song I'm gonna give because Pete: Okay, that's fine, that's fine. Chey Watson: I do have some like safety issues like. Pete: No, you're good. I got you 100%. Charmaine, Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): Mm-hmm. Pete: where can they find you, girl? Let them know. Come on now. Represent. Don't mess up the email either. Okay, we don't need that Sharmaine: The best place to find us Pete: situation. Sharmaine: I already know the email. I didn't want to made it up. the best place to find us is through our email, which is one two looking through T H R U three four theglass at gmail dot com. I know it's super long. But you can also reach out to us through our Instagram, Facebook, or at our yeah, that's yeah, TikTok, thank you. Pete: TikTok. I got you. Sharmaine: That that that was the other one. so we're not a whole bunch on the socials, like just other the socials, I do the networking. So but you can reach out to us anytime. Pete: Right. All right, Mike and Dory, let them have it. Where can they find you at guys? Let know where to find the shelf. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): The othering podcast is wherever you get your podcast. You can find it there. We're at otheringpodcast dot com and othering podcast on Instagram and Facebook. And before you move on, thank you for doing this, Pete. This is very important information, needs to be said, and congratulations Pete: Definitely. Othering Podcast (Mike & Dory): on your two years. Pete: Thank you so much, Mike. I appreciate it. Mr. Noah, the lethal venom. Let them know where they can find you, buddy. Let them know they can inject that at. Noah May: So the lethal Vim's available wherever you get your podcast. So the best place will be through my website, Noah's Podcasts.com. I actually do two other podcasts as well that are through the website, and I might have a fourth one in the works. So I'm starting to kind of build off my brand here and start that, but I appreciate you for doing this. This is well deserved. This is something that needs to be had, and I think so many people will find a lot Chey Watson: If. Okay. Pete: Okay, okay. I like it. Noah May: of benefits in this. So thank you for having it. Congrats on thirty K. That's that's awesome. Pete: Thank you so much. I appreciate Sharmaine: Last. Pete: it, man. Thank you. All right, Miss Miss Acosta. Laying on Where can they Maren Ecosta: Yes. Pete: find you, girl? Go for it. Maren Ecosta: all over social media. It's Unapologetically Marin, the Cornbread Chronicles podcast and the Truth Table podcast on anywhere you listen to your podcast at. Also on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok or everywhere. Pete: Guys, I will have Sharmaine: I have one more. Pete: all go for it. Chey Watson: Okay. Sharmaine: L I T T G at riverside dot com is where you find all of our episodes and everything. Pete: There you go. And guys, I'll have all the links in the description. Everybody shows here respectfully. Thank you all again for joining me for this magical moment. I appreciate having all of you on. obviously, Che, you haven't been on yet, but you know, we'll make it happen. But guys, I appreciate y'all being guests on the show. I appreciate y'all coming back to these conversations. Mike, thank you so much. Sorry, I appreciate y'all, guys. And listen, guys, as I always say, never mind. No, hold on. Wait, wait, wait. Maren Ecosta: you Pete: We're gonna do this right. Let me do this right. Let's do the professional it is. As Giselle would tell me. All right, guys. You know where to find me? I'm Pete for Sinxiety. I'm on Spotify all the way down to Pandora Radio and on the Pep Radio Network as well, guys. Don't forget to check us out there. Guys, you can find me on X all the way down to TikTok. And as always, say it costs nothing, absolutely nothing to be kind to somebody. One kind act you could do can save some life. Or hell, you can make their day. I'm Pete for Sanxiety. Sign out saying. Don't ask how your day is today. Say hey, how's your mental health? Sorry. Maren Ecosta: Hey.