Latest / Dear Chelsea / Minisode: International Day of the Girl: Ending Child Marriage

Transcript

Minisode: International Day of the Girl: Ending Child Marriage · Dear Chelsea

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hi there, thanks for being with us today. We're sitting
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: here with Princess Mabel von Naranya. Did I say your
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: name correctly?
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: Pretty well?
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Oh okay, well yeah, I'm an American, so you know
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: you got to cut me some slack. We're under a
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: lot of pressure these days. Thank you so much for
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: being with us today.
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: Very nice to be with you, Chelsea, really really lovely.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: Oh wonderful.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: Okay, So this is great. This is going to be
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: a nice educational episode for our listeners since many people
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: aren't aware. There's actually a child marriage crisis all around
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: the world, including here in the United States. So our
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: guest today is here to talk about that. For International
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: Day of the Girl, which is tomorrow, we wanted to
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: shed some light on this issue, and we have somebody
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: who knows a lot about it, so let's discuss it.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: Says that nearly twelve million girls become brides each year,
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: which means that every three seconds a girl is forced
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: into marriage. I would presume that most Americans would never
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: think that that's happening in this country.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: Not just that Americans wouldn't think about it. I think
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: most people all over the world were ignoring this, and
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: I mean think about it. The girl. Every three seconds,
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: that's a girl and another girl, and it goes on
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: and on and on, and this is incredibly damaging. So
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: it's a huge problem. But this imagine that you are,
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: let's say, a fourteen year old girl, whether you're growing
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: up in the US or whether you're growing up in
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: Latin America in Africa. One day you come out of
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: school and basically your parents have decided that you're no
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: longer going back to school, and they're going to marry
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: you off to a man that you haven't chosen, who's
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: often a bit older than you are, and you're basically
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: shipped off to go live with his family. And these
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: girls then often end up being you know, abused, either
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: by their in laws or by their husbands. And also
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: these are girls that often for them, their their wedding
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: night is not a happy event. Their wedding night might
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: be the night when they get pregnant while they are
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: physically children themselves.
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: Talk a little bit about some of the health risks
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: to younger girls who do get pregnant and like what
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: that can do to their bodies or why their bodies
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: are not prepared for that.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, we all remember when we were, you know, teenagers,
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: we might already get our period and things, but we're
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: physically still still children in a way. And so what
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: you see is that teenagers, girls who get pregnant are
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: much more likely to either have complications when they're pregnant
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: or in childbirths. They're more likely to die in childbirths.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: But also what we see happening is that their babies
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: are much less likely to survive the first year of life.
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: And many of these child brides live in places where
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: you don't have good health services, so if they get complications,
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: they can't go to a hospital or to a clinic
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: to get supported. Can I just ask you how you
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: got it?
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: I know you've worked with Desmond Tutu and Nelson Mandela,
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: and how did you get involved in this work?
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: So I was very lucky, like you say, Chelsea, to
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: work with a group called the Elders, which Nelson Mandela
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: had created, and it's a group of former heads of government,
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: of former UN secretary generals, really eminent individuals, including President
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: Jimmy Carter was a member of this group, and they
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: wanted to work on gender inequality. They were saying that
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: the fact that men and women are not equals is
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: one of the biggest injustices of our times. And not
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: only that, is also kind of stupid because if we
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: want to get out of poverty, women have to play
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: their role. It's often women who lived their families out
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: of poverty. And so they then started looking at like
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: what's happening, And we then came across the issue of
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: child marriage, and the issue of child marriage was it's
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: on the one end, you know, the two words child marriage,
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: say it all and everybody realizes this is not okay.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: But at the same time, the world was basically not
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: paying attention. And I think that to a large extent
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: and is because these girls, they're minors. They don't often
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: have passports, many of these girls don't speak English. A
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: lot of them in places like Africa Asia don't even
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: have access to mobile phones, and so these girls can't
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: really self organize. They do not realize that what is
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: happening here is actually not normal and that it should stop,
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: and that it's not good for them. If it stops,
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: it's also good for their families.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: And to be clear, this is a very male problem.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: It's not like women are looking at young girls and saying,
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: let's marry these girls off.
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: Right, like only men have to be told by the
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: government not to marry actual children.
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: Right. It's often the father's or the community as a
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: whole that drives this. And it's sometimes done because of poverty.
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: You know, if you are really poor in your marry
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: your daughter of you have one less mouth to feet.
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: It's sometimes done because of sexual safety, because the fear
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: that if your daughter isn't married by a certain age,
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: a man might misuse her and then you know, she
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: kind of dishonors herself and the family. It's sometimes done
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: because of tradition. People just think like this is normal,
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: so they keep doing it. And it's always done in
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: a way because girls are looks upon as being less
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: than men and you know, less valuable, and so you
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: can do this with them. And I think, I mean
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: for me one of the So when the elders wanted
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: to take this on, one of the places where I
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: went was to Ethiopia and Africa to learn about this
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: much more, and I'll never forget. At some point I
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: sat down with a group in northern Ethiopia, where four
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: out of every five girls are married once they're eighteen,
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: and I sat down with this group of married girls,
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: young girls, and I asked the girl next to me,
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: how old when you got married? And she looked at
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: me and she said, well, I don't really know because
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: I don't have a birth cert. Difficult, so many girls
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: who get bored, people don't register them because it's oh
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: a girl, we don't need to register her. But she said,
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: I must have been between five and seven years old
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: when I got married. And I was sitting there, and
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: I mean, I still get emotional when I think about it,
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: because at that time my daughters were five and six
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: years old. I realized that even the lottery of life,
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: they have been born there, they would probably have been
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: child rights. And this is one of the things that
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: drives me in everything I do, this idea that it's
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: wrong that the place where you were born, that your
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: geography would define your destiny of life. You know, the
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: opportunities you get. I mean, I strongly, strongly believe that
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: everybody deserves equal opportunities. And that's why I'm so passionate
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: working on this issue.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: And so your organization is called Vow VOW. Tell us
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: about the moment that you had the idea for VOW
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: at one of your friend's weddings.
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: That's correct. So you know, I've been done for the
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: last fifteen years, been working to end child marriage because yes,
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: an it's a sad problem. But the good news is
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: that there is a lot that we can do in
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: order to actually keep girls in school, to make sure
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: that communities realize that when you give the girls the
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: rights they deserve, you know that that that is could
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: not just that that is good not just for the girls,
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: but for the communities. And so we realized we need
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: to get more money to local organizations communities in Latin America,
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: in Africa and Asia that worked to change this and
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: to mobilize that money. One day, I was going to
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: a wedding of friends, and you know how it goes
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: when you go to a wedding week before and you
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: get the panic what should I wear? You know, and
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: what should I buy for the couple? And so I
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: went to their wedding website and you know, they had
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: like many you know, a wedding list where you know,
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: you can buy china and glass and I don't know what,
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: and they said, or alternatively give money to they had
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: chosen the good calls, and that's for me. It was
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: a light bulb moment. I thought like, wait, what if
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: the moment that people celebrates love under happy circumstances, people
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: who chose each other, and they're like, Okay, yes, I
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: want to share my life with you. What if we
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: turn those moments into fundraising moments to make sure that
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: girls elsewhere in the world can also choose love on
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: their own terms. And so that's where Voul for Girls
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: was born. And of course it's not just only people
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: are getting married who can contribute. I mean basically anybody
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: can contribute to Voul for Girls. And the beauty of
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: it always that one hundred percent of the money we
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: raise goes to the projects on the ground. And I've
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: seen with my own eyes how very small amounts of
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: money can make a huge difference for girls.
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: And I'm curious, you know some of those organizations that
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: are boots on the ground in these various locations, like
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: what are what are some of the things that they're doing?
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: Are they promoting education? Like what are some of the programs?
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: Promoting education is definitely one. Sometimes you know, girls don't
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: go to school because they don't have mentoral hygiene, you know, pats, etc.
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: So sometimes it's an intervention that that helps to keep
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: girls in school, or it is, you know, making sure
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: that the bus fee can be paid so that you know,
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: she doesn't have to walk alone along dangerous roads. A
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: lot of the projects what we see is basically helping girls,
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: bring them together in girls clubs where they learn about
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: their rights. I mean, I've met so many girls who
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: did not realize that they're equal to boys, that they
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: have rights, that they should have choice in life, and
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: that's incredibly empowering for girls. So, you know, I met,
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: for example, these group of girls and they had found
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: out that one of them was going to be married off,
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: and so they then collectively went to the father of
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: the girl who was going to be married off, and
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: they told him about their rights and about that it
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: was wiser to keep the girl in school, and they
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: managed to convince the father that indeed they should keep
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: the girl out of marriage for another couple of years.
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: I've also seen places where they do education around sexuality,
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: helping I mean, I've done too many girls in the
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: world who are told that they should not get pregnant,
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: but who do not know how you get pregnant. And
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: I mean, if you don't know how to avoid pregnancy,
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: of course, then you might end up with with an
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: early pregnancy and then and to being very married off.
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: Sometimes it's working with the fathers, helping them to understand
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: that what might seem the right thing to do is
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: actually not a wise thing to do marrying their daughters off.
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: And then what you see is this spreads like you know, like,
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: I don't know how you say this in English. I'm sorry.
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: It's like spreads like wildfire, basically wildfire.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: There you go. And so what you see is that
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: you then get entire communities who first where everybody is like,
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: of course, in our community, girls are married by the
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: age of sixteen. They're now like, no, no, no, we
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: do not marry our girls anymore before they're they're sixteen
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: or before they are eighteen. And so they take so
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: much pride in that that's amazing, and that in the
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: end benefits the boys in the men as well.
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I remember a few years ago reading in that
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: book Half the Sky. It was so amazing to me
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: to read that when you invest in women, whether that's
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: education or you know, small loans for businesses or that
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: sort of thing, it benefits the entire community in such
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: a more drastic way than if you invest, just like
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: generally in the community. Because women are reinvesting in their community,
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: they're raising people who are more educated because they have
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: an education, and it like the cycle really continues when
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: you educate and help women and support women.
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: I mean, I think you covered a couple of these questions,
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: but I was wondering if you could share with us
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: some of your like some of the wins that your
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: organization has had. Have you been able to change laws anywhere?
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: So we have seen in the last fifteen years. I
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: think the biggest win is that the issue of child
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: marriage is now widely recognized as a problem. And I
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: think you know, because if you have a problem, but
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: you don't recognize it as a problem, you can't start
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: solving in So I think that, in a way is
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: the biggest win. Then what we have seen is that
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: there are more countries that have now laws that make
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: it very clear eighteen is the minimum age of marriage.
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: We also see more countries that have policies now to say, okay,
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: this is what we're actually going to do in order
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: to keep girls out of marriage, and so worldwide we
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: have seen the decrease worldwide. Before one out of every
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: four girls would get married before eighteen. That has now
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: gone down to one out of five girls, So that
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: is real progress. And if you look at the United States,
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: what is very interesting and I when we started working
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: on this, I hadn't realized that child marriage was also
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: an issue in Europe and in the United States. But
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: you see how sometimes our preconceptions can be completely wrong.
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: What is very interesting that the total number of child
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: prides in the United States is not as big as
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: for example, in India, whereas every year about three million
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: girls get married. I mean in the United States it's
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: much less. It's I believe around twenty five thousand. But
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: what was strange in the United States, until about five
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: or six years ago, in every state you could get
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: married before the age of eighteen, either because there's no
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: minimum law at all, so girls as young as two
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: could get married. Also boys, but it's often the girls
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: that had and stoop or they would have a minimum age,
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: but it wouldn't be eighteen. Let's say fourteen or fifteen,
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: or they would have eighteen as minimum age, but they
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: would say there can be exceptions. If the parents agree
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: or if the judge degrees, then it's okay. And I
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: of course don't get this because we do not trust.
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: In America, young people are not allowed to vote until
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: they're eighteen because apparently we think they're not wise enough
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: to do that. American people, young people are not allowed
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: to drink until they're I think it's eighteen. You know,
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: you're not allowed to twenty one. Yeah, yeah, And so
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: all these things you're considered too young to do them
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: until you're eighteen or even older. But for child marriage
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: it would be okay, that's yeah, doesn't make sense, that's crazy.
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: Thank you for all of the work that you're doing.
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: I mean it's incredible. I mean, to take all of
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: this on, it's so necessary. So how can people can
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: people donate to vow for girls?
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: Absolutely? I mean, look, my experience with all the change
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: making work that I've done my life is that we
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: can all make a difference, but nobody can do it alone.
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: So on this issue, part of what we need is funding.
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: And especially in a time where you know, governments are decreasing,
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: including in the United States. You know, USAID has ceased
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: to exist, So when money is actually is going down
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: for these things, I think we as ordinary humans need
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: to step up and help to make sure that that
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: financing continues to go to these to these young girls.
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: So yes, please give to Vow for Girls, and we
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: make sure that that money really rives with good local
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: organizations that do the work. And the only thing is
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: if you believe that it's important that laws get changed.
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: In the United States, we have now an increasing number
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: of states where laws have been changed to make sure
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: that eighteen is the minimum age of marriage and no exceptions.
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: But that is only I believe in about ten states
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: so far, so I would highly recommend it. If you
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: want to help there, you can also write to your
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: governor or your congressman or woman and urge them to
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: change that. It's an organization in the United States called
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: Unchained at Last that actually does a lot of work
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: and on their website you can find out what is
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: happening in your own state, etc. Wonderful.
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we'll link in the description to Vow for Girls
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: and Unchained as well.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, and thank you for being with us today
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: and educating us allah on this.
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: I'm really grateful that you guys are using this International
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: Day of the Girl to highlight this really important issue.
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: And I'm very grateful to everybody who will help to
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: make sure that girls can be girls and not price.
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: That's right. Thanks Maybel, Thanks Maybel, Bye bye bye.
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: I just announced all my tour dates they just want
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: on sale this week. It's called the High and Mighty Tour.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: I will be starting in February of next year, so
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: I will be touring from February through June. I haven't
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: added second shows yet, but we probably will be to
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: some of these. So go get your tickets now if
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: you want good seats and you want to come see
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: me perform, I will be on the High and Mighty Tour.
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: Do you want advice from Chelsea? Right into Dear Chelsea
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: Podcast at gmail dot com. Find full video episodes of
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea Pod.
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: producer Catherine law And be sure to check out our
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: merch at Chelseahandler dot com