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12 Months to Marathon - Episode 7 - Get Confident (Stupid) · 12 Months to Marathon

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome to the 12 Months of Marathon Podcast with me, John Hill, the running podcast for the Over 35s with Marathon Dreams coming to you again from Sunny Poland, episode 7.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: Let's get confident, stupid.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I've called it that this week because it's a homage to a very good friend of mine who many years ago we did our neurolinguistic programming NLP training course together, and as a bit of a Mickey take at the self-help industry, we joked that that would be a good name for a company.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Joking, of course, for anybody who's a bit soft-skinned, as I've experienced this week on Instagram, Tom Mustomarathon.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: Don't forget to drop me a follow.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: Caused a bit of a stir this week by sharing an opinion.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: I know, cast me out.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: And uh yeah, it's been an interesting week.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: So I'll talk about that briefly actually because I've been having a good training week out here.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: Started training for high rocks, managed to find a running track in Kielsa, which is uh interesting.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: So done some pretty grotesque workout on that, and uh, I'm sure I'll go back again before I return to the UK.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: And uh I've had a good training week, uh, so I've been adapting some of my workouts and I've been doing a few sort of medium distance runs, uh, the easiest pace.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: Been sleeping a bit better because of course I haven't got my usual routines and haven't got to get up as early, so it's been good.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to talk about confidence because I think it's misunderstood in terms of how it is approached and how it works and what people's understanding of it is.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna talk about confidence in a second.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: But yes, I had a bit of grief this week because I shared an opinion of mine about preparation, and I saw a picture which I keep seeing actually on Instagram, and it was a meme of a guy who looked absolutely ruined after a marathon, bloody feet, you know, look his face looking like he'd been punched in the face by Mike Tyson a few times, and the caption read in a sarcastic sense, do a marathon, they said, It'll be fun, they said.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: So I said, if you look like that after a marathon, you probably haven't trained properly and you probably haven't prepared properly, and got quite a bit of abuse for saying that, uh, including people calling me names, which was interesting, I found, and some people, of course, asking for clarification, context, which was nice online.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, so we had a mix of the usual nonsense and some context, which is important.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: Now, it fits into what I'm going to talk about here because confidence and competence are two different things.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: Now, my point I made regarding that particular picture, that particular meme was if you're showing new runners that who perhaps are thinking about running a marathon, do you think that's going to encourage them or not?
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: I think it isn't going to encourage them because it's going to be like, well, is that what I've got to look forward to?
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: And the answer to that is no.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: You might have a bad day, you might push yourself to a place that you've never been before and absolutely ruin yourself on the day.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely that happens.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: But is that what you've got to look forward to always?
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: No, it's not.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I've never seen people in that state at the end of a marathon unless something's gone wrong.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because somebody said, and this is what I love about social media.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: Somebody said, Well, what about the time one of the Brownley brothers carried the other one across the line?
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so one example out of millions, and that's how social media kind of works.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: People will use one example and say, What about when this happened?
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: And let's have a debate, you know.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'm all for a debate and I'm all for conversations.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: My point is around accessibility and encouragement, and I don't think that things like that encourage people to start running because they make them think, is that what I've got to look forward to at the end of this thing that I'm planning to do?
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: So for me, I don't think that's the right message because I think this no pain, no gain stuff is not a good message to give out.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: I've been in the fitness industry for a long time.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think it's a good message, and it's wrong because not exercising and look after looking after yourself is painful.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: This should be enhancing your life.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: Now, is a marathon hard?
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: Is training for it hard?
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: Is it boring sometimes?
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I think if you're training properly, you'll get to a point during part of your marathon training cycle where you'll actually hate running.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: But should you always look like that at the end?
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't think it's the right message to give out.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: So I stand by what I did and said, um, it caused a bit of a stir, but it fits into what I'm going to talk about with you today.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: And if you might have had a bit of a break, you might have been away, summer holidays are a tricky time, August is a tricky time, this might help you.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: Now, there's a difference between confidence and competence, and this goes back to what I learned when I did my NLP training, neurolinguistic programming training.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: You get confident by being competent, by doing.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: So if you follow a proper training cycle for a marathon 16 weeks, and you follow it as best as you can, get all the runs in, do your 20 milers, and do all that, then when you do the marathon, you should perform okay, which would negate you looking like you've been hit by a truck.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I'm saying, and that's competence.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: That isn't confidence, that's competence, that's doing, yeah.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because people will say, and I've been in the fitness industry for a long time, and I've heard this a lot, I'm not very confident at X when they've not done it.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: Well, of course you're not confident because you've not done it yet.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: You get confident by being competent by doing the work, yeah.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: Now, here's the important bit, and this goes back to starting again or having a break or things like that.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: If you've had a break, or if you're starting running again, because I speak to a lot of people in that place, they're starting again.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: Give your chance self the chance to get competent.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you get competent, you get confident.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the important bit you don't get competent by doing things you can't do, you get competent by doing things you can do and building up from there.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because again, there's this mindset of I'm gonna go and do stuff that's really hard and I'll grow quicker.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: No, do stuff you can do because every win and every bit of progress that you make is going to make you feel better about your ability to become competent, which will make you feel confident.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if there's any marathon runners listening to this, you'll have heard so you'll say something like, It's only a half.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if you're a marathon runner, what you mean by that, or what I mean by that, is I've I've run double that, so to me, that's only a half.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying that to make you feel bad if you haven't run a half, it's a little bit of a linguistic thing as a slip of the tongue.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: What I'm saying is I'm competent at running 13.1 miles because I've done it multiple times.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not showing off, I've done it multiple times.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: I don't need to show off, I do what I do for me, and hopefully my journey inspires people.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: Now, where I'm at now is different to some people.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: That's okay, but it's a competence thing, it's not a confidence thing.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: So when I did my last marathon, London, 2024, some bloke said to me at the start, how'd you feel?
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I went, Well, I've done it before, haven't I?
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: So I kind of know that physically and mentally I can run 26.2 miles because I'd done it 13 times, so I was competent.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't about confidence, it was competence.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's a big difference.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, now you can um catch, I call it catching a wrong on the day.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: So sun, heat, injury, upset stomach, things that can knock you off course on the day.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: But if you followed a training plan, you don't need to be confident, you're competent, you've done the work.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so if you get this principle, this will really really help you because then you'll never blame confidence again because it's just a competence thing.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: Now, again, I'll I'll work in the fitness game, I've worked in the fitness game for years.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: I've got people who've said, I'm not very confident in the gym.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you're not competent.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm confident in the gym because I'm competent because I've been going there for 20 years, yeah.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: So what we have to do is move away from this fluff, as I call it, this esoteric out there stuff that's not something you can control.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: Everything you need, you've already got, you just need to work at it and bring it out of yourself and get better at it.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, confidence is a state, it's not a thing, it's not motivation.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: Motivation is a state.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: You don't go to the shops and buy motivation, you don't go to the shops and buy confidence.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: You get competent at something, therefore, you'll then become confident at it, yeah.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I want you to remember that.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: So, whatever stage of the journey that you're at, if you're starting again, you've had a bit of a wobble over the summer, whatever it might be, focus on competence, getting competent, yeah, and then what will happen is the more competent you become, the more you do, the more confident you will get, which fits back into my point.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: So, otherwise losing their minds for no reason about a comment or an opinion, and I wonder why that is.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: I wonder why it triggered so many things, and I think it's because sometimes people think you are taking the shine off somebody's ability.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, no, no, no, you're just making a point, and I think that we need to move away from everything we do is going to be painful, every run you're going to undertake is going to be painful, and at the end you're going to be struggling to walk and all that.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: Now, yes, you're going to be sore if you do something new.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: After my first marathon, my quads didn't move for about three days, yeah.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: But I said to myself, I'm gonna help, I'm gonna recover from this, I'm gonna train for this, and I'm gonna get better at it, okay?
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not special or different, I just say, Well, how do we make this as painless as possible?
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: And what can we learn for for next time so we become more competent, so we become confident, yes?
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: If you are a runner and if you're trying to get better at running, then you have to do the work, yes.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: There's no escaping the work, you have to do it.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to run a marathon, you have to follow a plan.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't follow a plan, something that is going to be difficult is going to become difficult and excruciatingly painful.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: And there's no for me, there is no honour and there is no prize in not training for something and then complaining about how bad it was.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: I think people should respect the race they're training for.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: That's my opinion.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: And if I was coaching you in my programme, I would coach you to respect the race you're training for.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: So, guess what?
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: You can enjoy the training, and then you can enjoy the day.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you're doing a big marathon like a London, for example, you don't want that to be excruciatingly painful because you want to savour the environment.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: When I did London this year, I got a bit excited at the start and thought I could run a sub three because I was on for a sub three, I was with the pacers.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: When I got to about 17 miles, my body went, No, you haven't trained for this, mate, because I hadn't really.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: I just trained to get round a marathon.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: So for the last 10k, I waved at the crowd and I enjoyed the whole experience.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because I didn't want it to be painful, excruciatingly painful.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: There was no benefit to me of trying for a sub three in London.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: I just wanted to go back, experience it, do it again, and love every moment of it, which I did.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: So to clarify this, you get confident by getting competent.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: So keep doing the work no matter what.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: And if you've had a wobble over the summer, it's not gone the way you want it to, that's fine.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: Start again.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: You only fail when you stop trying.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: Start again.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: Now, people have said to me about my stuff that I can be quite inspiring and quite empowering.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: I hope I am.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm also going to challenge you a little bit sometimes and say, we need to think a little bit differently here.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: Because the spoils are there for all of us to try and achieve what we want or not, as the case might be.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: But we have to move away from words that don't empower us.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, words like motivation and confidence don't empower because they're not tangible, but words like competence are because you can say, Right, I can get better at this, and that's why I fell in love with running because I thought I can get better at this, I can go faster or I can go further.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if you don't want to go faster or further, that's absolutely fine.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: You do you, like I've said before.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: But if you do want to go faster or further, you have to become competent.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's got nothing to do with confidence, it's competence.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: Do things you can do and keep doing them and make small improvements along the way, and who knows where you could end up.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, but it starts with that attitude of right, how do I get competent?
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: How do I get better?
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: Because if I get better, then I don't absolutely capitulate at the end and look like a mess, and then give out the message that that's the result of doing a marathon, doing a half marathon, whatever it might be, because it's not, it doesn't have to be that way, and that's the point I'm trying to make here.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: So, in conclusion, again, don't worry about confidence, worry about competence, worry about doing the work, worry about getting better, and you can change everything in the future.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever's happened, happened.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: Move forward, make a plan, stick to it, and let's go.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: That's episode seven.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you very much for listening as always.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: I appreciate it.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: Don't forget to like and share the podcast.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: Also, follow it as well.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'd appreciate that very much wherever you get your podcast from.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: Hop over to Instagram 12 months to marathon, drop me a follow over there, it's much appreciated.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: And again, please reach out if you do want any coaching or anything, if you're looking to PB a half in the autumn or you're training for a marathon in the spring or even later this year, and you need some help in doing so.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks very much for listening as always, and I'll speak to you all very soon indeed.