Latest / She Speaks Life - Christian Women, Strengthen Your Faith, Bible Study, Grow Spiritually In Christ / Uncovering The Cultural Lies About Beauty With Melissa Johnson

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Uncovering The Cultural Lies About Beauty With Melissa Johnson · She Speaks Life - Christian Women, Strengthen Your Faith, Bible Study, Grow Spiritually In Christ

0:01
Hey, welcome back to She Speaks Live.
0:04
I have big news coming over the weekend, so if you don't follow
0:09
me on socials yet, this would be a great time to do so.
0:14
Go to Jamie Elizabeth. She speaks live on Instagram and
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YouTube and I can't wait to show you what God has downloaded on
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my heart to create just for you. OK, today I have with me Melissa
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Johnson, her book Soul Deep Beauty, fighting for our true
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worth in a world demanding Flawless uncovers the cultural
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lies about beauty that can damage our minds.
0:41
We talk about how to reconnect with God and remember we were
0:45
made in His image and what that means for you and I.
0:50
We also touched on points of shame, striving and the biblical
0:55
approach to loving ourselves. Not the world's version of self
1:00
love, you guys. This is such a great
1:02
conversation, so let's get right to it.
1:05
Here's my guest, Melissa Johnson.
1:08
Hey Melissa, welcome to She Speaks Life.
1:11
I am so happy you are here with us today.
1:14
Thank you so much, Jamie. It's such a privilege to be
1:17
here. Yeah, you are incredible.
1:19
Author of Soul Deep beauty, fighting for our true worth in a
1:24
world demanding, flawless. And isn't that true?
1:29
And we're going to be talking about uncovering the cultural
1:34
lies about beauty that can be so damaging to our minds and souls,
1:38
and how to reconnect with God and remind ourselves that we
1:42
were made in His image. And we're going to cover shame
1:46
and striving and biblically loving ourselves and others.
1:51
It's going to be so good. But before we dive deeper, I
1:55
would love for you to share your favorite scripture verse and
1:58
why. So Jamie's honestly really hard
2:02
to fight to like. Land on my favorite.
2:06
I get that a lot. By the way, I I imagine, yeah, I
2:09
have a. Lot.
2:11
So kind of pertaining to the things we're going to be talking
2:14
about today. The verse that continues to come
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to mind is John 1010 and it says the thief comes only to steal
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and kill and destroy. I have come that they may have
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life and have it to the full and what I love about that verse is
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just this idea that. How God invites us into this
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thriving life, like the whole, in the wholeness of who we are.
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And yeah, Jesus came to bring us this, this true humanity, this
2:44
living life, fully and deeply as we were.
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We were originally created, yeah, Amen.
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And so we're going to be talking about beauty here and how we
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unfortunately are ingrained from a young age to view this corrupt
3:02
beauty standard that our culture pushes on us today.
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And if we buy into it, then this creates this body shame and
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maybe possibly eating disorders that we see women struggle with.
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And I know in your story you had struggled with that also.
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Would you be able to Share your story here with us on that?
3:28
Yeah, definitely. So I think the interesting part
3:31
about my story is that I actually didn't realize that I
3:34
was struggling with these things because it's the struggles that
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I was having, the thoughts that I was thinking, the beliefs that
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I was living out of. I have become so culturally
3:43
normalized, and so that's like looking back at my own story, I
3:48
feel like that is especially remarkable.
3:51
But yeah, so I can say a little bit about my own story.
3:53
So I think it's about like eight or nine years ago now, I was
3:57
working as a marriage and family therapist and also seeing my own
3:59
therapist. And at that point, she invited
4:02
me to do some more intensive work around my relationship with
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food, exercise and my body. Specifically, she was naming it
4:09
an eating disorder, which was honestly, it came as a surprise
4:13
to me. I knew that I perhaps had a
4:17
maybe some obsessive ideas and like routines when it came to
4:22
food and exercise, but I had never considered that it would
4:25
actually be labeled in eating disorder.
4:27
And she actually said it was to the point where I needed an
4:29
intensive eating disorder treatment and so.
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I talked about this in the book, but it took me a little bit of
4:34
time to get on board with this idea and to even believe again
4:37
that this was an eating disorder.
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And eventually what happened is I had to pause my work as a
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therapist and dug into intensive eating disorder work for about a
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year or so, 9 to 12 months given, give or take some weeks
4:53
or something. But what ended up happening for
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me in the midst of my intensive? Treatment journey as I started
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to see that the ideas, the beliefs, the behaviors that I
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was seen in the group therapy rooms were actually beliefs and
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ideas that my friends, my peers, the broader culture was teaching
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us and believing in. And there was just so much
5:21
disorder when it came to what I had learned about beauty, about
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my body, about food. From the larger culture, from
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diet and beauty culture. And I started to see that this
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wasn't just something that, you know, people with eating
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disorders struggle with. I started to see that these
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messages around food, exercise and body were actually
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suffocating the souls and the minds of women and girls
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everywhere. I would say anyone who's been
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exposed to Westernized beauty culture and so.
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From there I started this impossible beauty platform,
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which is all about redefining beauty as the life of God at
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work, in us and among us, and it was a journey to get to that
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definition. However, I have learned and
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written though about it in so deep beauty, about why I believe
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that kind of beauty is actually worth our time, our energy, and
6:17
even our lives. Yeah, so good.
6:19
I love your message. So let's go back.
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Historically, how do you think the American Beauty Standard
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originated and how does it take advantage of women's and
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securities? What do you think?
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Yes, and this is such a there's such a robust answer here
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because I think there are numerous streams that that play
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into this. And so I talk about numerous
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streams in the in the book. However.
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One that has especially caught my attention more more so
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lately, and I talked a little bit about this in the book as
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well, is the role that advertising and the
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proliferation of flawless images, quote flawless images
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have to have played in this, making this flawless ideal more
7:10
and more impactful for women. So back in the 1920s and 1930s,
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there was the shift that we saw in advertising where previous to
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that a product was basically sold to you by virtue of like
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logic, like this shampoo cleans better than the other shampoos
7:28
or something like that. Whereas what happened in the
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1920s, nineteen 30s, there was this shift.
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To taking a look actually at our unconscious desires and
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unconscious insecurities. And this shift actually came to
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us from who is now coined the father of modern marketing.
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His name is Edward Bernays. He's actually the nephew of
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Sigmund Freud. And so of course he was well
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versed in this idea of of a subconscious desire.
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And So what began to happen then is there was this shift in in
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marketing where? Marketers corporation started to
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play to our insecurities and for instance like a product would
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become a symbol of something like all of a sudden a car is a
8:10
symbol of freedom or deodorant becomes a symbol of like being a
8:16
desirable woman. And So what has happened in I I
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would say our culture now is there is this tie between our
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our worth and our image and. I have seen how actually
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advertisers and marketers use shame to sell products.
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And what I've seen and learned is I believe that our deepest
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desires, desire as humans is to be deeply known and deeply
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loved. And So what shame does is it
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goes to the heart of that desire and it says like no, you you
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actually aren't worthy of that. And so I feel like it goes to.
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The deepest lie of of what God says about us that we are loved.
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And then marketers and corporations use shame to sell
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less products. Like you aren't good enough
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because you have XY or Z about your body.
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You know Cellulite or something, or your body isn't small enough
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or your face needs less wrinkles.
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And so one part of this I think is.
9:22
Starting to uncover media's agenda to sell products based on
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shaminess essentially. And so I think that that is one
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thing. Certain images are used to sell
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products, but also I think with the rise of social media as well
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as things like filters and I think there's this proliferation
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of quote the flawless image, flawless beauty and.
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So I don't know if you remember this, but like back in the day
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with print media, you're like magazines.
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We knew that that images were likely, you know, airbrushed or
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photoshopped, but that is now. Like any image we look at, there
10:04
is a high percentage, almost guarantee that it has been
10:08
messed with in some way. And some little touch up.
10:12
Exactly. And so it's not just celebrities
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anymore. It's not just models.
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It is. Our own image, it is.
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Our best friend's image. It is as we scroll through
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social media and maybe even any kind of Internet, you know,
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whether we're reading something, they're going to be ads there
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where we are like drowning our neural networks in quote,
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flawless beauty or fake beauty. And so I think that this idea of
10:39
of thinness as well as being kind of upheld with health and
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morality that has come to us from.
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A long history of diet culture and upholding the thin ideal as
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this something to strive for at any cost.
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And so I would say, you know, there's so many streams here,
10:57
but some of that I have named are advertising, social media
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and and diet culture as well. I think that those are some
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really big influences. So good you're bringing
11:07
awareness to things that unfortunately I've normalized
11:11
right where I can't even point it out and observe it.
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But you know because you're you're living out this message,
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this is essentially important to you.
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It hits home then you're well aware of it, which is great
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because then you're passing it on to us and pointing out the
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the ways that culture is really praying on our insecurities to
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look a certain way or buy this product.
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And that's so good. OK, let's dive into some
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statistics you had stated in your book of February of 2023.
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It was reported that three and five US teen girls felt
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persistently sad and hopeless in 2021.
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And this is double the rate for boys, and it has increased over
12:00
60% in the last decade. So sad.
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And I know as a therapist you are marriage and family
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therapist so I'm sure you get these young girls.
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So what role do you see Shane playing for these girls and how
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does it affect their self esteem as they mature and grow?
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Yeah. And I think, I think that you
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know, we, I can't say that there is a direct cause, but I think
12:31
we can make some guesses that this is likely.
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In like impacting mental health and especially when we think
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about the our inundation again of of social media.
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To give us a couple statistics additional statistics, we know
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that 80% of girls have used an app to change their appearance
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before the age of 13 and girls ages 10 to 17 were found to
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spend 5 hours on social media every day.
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So when we think back to what we were just talking about this
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idea of. We're literally inundated with
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fake flawless beauty and when we think about the inundation of it
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5 hours a day on social media, like I someone had used the the
13:15
phrase being discipled by social media the other day and I just
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can't get it out of my head. We are.
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I think what's what's happening likely is there is likely this
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comparison that happens between these flawless images that are
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really. Just we're being brainwashed
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with and these young women are being brainwashed with.
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And of course it's eliciting feelings of of shame, of not
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being good enough, of not being perfect enough.
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And I think there's also this lie about like quote the the
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beautiful or perfect life. You know what what we see about
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people taking pictures and idealistic looking settings or
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gatherings. And so between this, this lie of
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of what true beauty looks like. I think they're they're just in
14:05
so many ways young girls are believing that what they're
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doing, who they are, what they look like is not enough.
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And so I think that that is having a dramatic impact on on
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mental health. But then also I'm thinking about
14:18
the the addictive nature of it as well.
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And so the more time spent there, likely the more addicted
14:26
you become, and then likely the more isolated you are as well.
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And so you're not likely going out perhaps to to do some of the
14:35
communal things that generations past did so.
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So there's just some some ideas when it comes to mental health.
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Oh, we also know that the longer the more time you spend on
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social media, the more likely you are to feel worse about
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yourself and your body. So we know that from research as
14:53
well. So, yeah, those are likely some
14:56
things that are impacting. Young girls mental health So
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let's talk more on harmful beauty ideologies.
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This quote UN quote thin ideal. How crucial is it to talk to
15:10
these young woman? I know you touched on it a
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little bit about these toxic beauty standards.
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But I really would love young women to know is that so much of
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what we're looking at is is literally fake.
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Also we have some statistics like the average model, it would
15:26
be considered 20% underweight. Whereas in the previous SO D SM4
15:31
diagnostic manual for like diagnosing mental illness, we
15:37
knew that in order one of the diagnostic criterion for
15:41
diagnosing anorexia was you have to be 15% underweight And so
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these models, your average model would be 20% underweight.
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So meeting anorexic diagnostic criterion for anorexia and then
15:55
some so when we're looking at. Some of those idealized images
16:00
of of beauty, there is this, this thin ideal that is, is
16:07
being kind of shoved down our throats in that way.
16:10
But also when we have a lot of times when we look at images for
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different marketing images etcetera, like people like parts
16:18
of maybe you know a whole section of someone's body will
16:22
have been removed. And so I mean even I saw
16:25
something. I won't name there.
16:27
There's some influencers I've seen who are doing that on their
16:29
images as well. And so there is this, this thin
16:33
ideal that is you know, I I think that it is deeply
16:38
impacting us and in in still. And I think, you know, some
16:42
people argue that perhaps because we're having more
16:45
diversity in some areas, like more diverse body shapes, I
16:48
think that largely the images that we're looking at are still.
16:52
Unrealistically thin. And then of course young women
16:55
are thinking and believing that they should look like that.
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They need to look like that to be, to be, I guess, desired by
17:02
by men to be desirable at all. Yeah, I know, it's so sad.
17:07
And to see women, young girls, going through plastic surgery to
17:14
to become a certain shape at such a young age, it's really
17:21
sad. OK, you cover judgment in your
17:24
book. And how does judging ourselves
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bleed into judging others? I thought this was such a great
17:33
thing that you covered. Yeah, I know.
17:35
Thank you and. This is something that I mean
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when I when I talk about it and say it now, I'm like, oh, that's
17:40
totally makes sense. Like, why did I think of that
17:42
before? But what I realized through my
17:45
own journey is I had become such a harsh critic of myself, like
17:49
in every way from looks to everything.
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And I started to realize that, like, that's actually the same
17:56
brain, the same lens that I'm using to look outward toward
18:00
other people, you know? And I I started to think about
18:03
how Jesus. Invites invites us to love
18:07
others as we love ourselves. And I started to see, oh wow,
18:10
there was this correlation I in how I looked at myself and
18:15
judged myself and then how I would view other people.
18:18
And so from there I started to realize the wisdom of self
18:23
compassion, looking at myself with kindness, knowing that when
18:28
I started to do that, I would then treat.
18:31
Humanity or other people out of that same compassionate kind
18:35
lens. And so that has been part of
18:39
this work as well that I actually think is pivotal to to
18:42
being less harsh with ourselves, less critical.
18:45
And I think that that is such because I think that's such a
18:47
cultural thing as well because without us being harsh and
18:50
critical, you know we, we actually feel like we're maybe
18:55
okay how we are and so we might not buy a product.
18:59
To try to, to improve ourselves, right?
19:02
Yeah. And it shows.
19:03
Like if we have grace for ourselves, we're gonna extend
19:06
grace to others, right. So if we're OK with our bodies.
19:12
And yeah, it's not perfect, but God made me who I am.
19:15
And and you know, when we walk and carry that out, then we're
19:21
going to exude that and others around us, our friends, our
19:25
community. And we're not going to be
19:27
nitpicking at other people and you know, their shapes or how
19:32
they look and all of that. Yeah, that's so good.
19:36
OK, Let's talk about our relationship with food and our
19:40
bodies. How can we change that due to
19:44
this cultural standard of beauty and worth?
19:47
Because I know you talk about a lot how that ties and together
19:52
like you said before. Yes.
19:54
And I was just pulling up this this diet culture definition
19:57
because I think it's so helpful. I I want to go ahead and just
20:01
state this definition of diet culture given to us by Christy
20:04
Harrison, who's a an author. She wrote Anti Diet and also The
20:09
Wellness Trap and does the popular food psych podcast.
20:15
But she also is a registered dietitian and journalist.
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So this is her definition of diet culture, she says.
20:20
It's a system of beliefs that equates thinness, muscularity.
20:23
And particular body shapes with health and moral virtue promotes
20:28
weight loss and body reshaping as a means of attaining higher
20:31
status, demonizes certain foods and food groups while elevating
20:35
others, and oppresses people who don't match its supposed picture
20:38
of health. By and large, Western culture is
20:42
diet culture. This way of thinking about food
20:45
and bodies is so embedded in the fabric of our society in so many
20:49
different forms that it can be hard to recognize.
20:51
It masquerades as health, Wellness, and fitness.
20:55
And So what I have found to be incredibly helpful myself is
21:01
starting to see diet culture for what it is.
21:03
And again, I think this is just so the the water we swim in.
21:06
Like she said, Western culture is diet culture.
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And because we know diet culture is really, really so marketable,
21:16
if we can make people feel like they're their bodies aren't good
21:19
enough and sell them a diet or a Diet Pill or some kind of
21:24
workout contraption, of course we're going to make tons of
21:27
money. And So what has happened is I
21:31
think this is the air we breathe promoting this, this thin ideal
21:37
with things like moral virtue, health, etcetera.
21:40
And so one way I think we move toward healing that relationship
21:43
with food in our bodies is becoming aware of diet culture,
21:47
messaging in our culture. And so that's one of the things
21:50
that I try to start to do in the book is raise awareness of that
21:54
as well and also starting to see when it's actually not about
22:00
health. Oftentimes what we're being
22:02
sold, it actually is about making money off of our again,
22:05
shame or fear, especially when it comes to diet culture.
22:09
I think used to look a lot like you could tell it, you know,
22:13
mile away, Jenny Craig or or Weight Watchers.
22:16
We knew that that was a diet. However, nowadays it's warped or
22:20
kind of morphed, I should say more so into this Wellness
22:23
culture. It's not a diet, it's about
22:25
Wellness. And so the reason why that
22:28
happened is because it started to come out that actually
22:31
traditional diets weren't so weren't quote successful.
22:34
In fact we were seeing failure rates and I don't like even
22:38
saying failure rates, but this is how it's reported of 95% or
22:44
higher where people regained the weight or regained the weight
22:47
and then some. And so of course the diet
22:50
culture had to do some rebranding and now we're seeing
22:53
things like supplements and you know it's not a it's a food
22:57
plan. And so.
22:59
So I think becoming savvy to some of those, those pieces of
23:02
diet culture so that we can actually start to move toward
23:05
healing our relationship with food and and some things that
23:08
some ways that that can look like is not classifying foods as
23:11
good or bad. Because oftentimes when we do
23:14
that, if we eat something on the quote bad list, we will then
23:18
moralize ourselves and feel shame around it.
23:20
And that's actually not helpful for our overall health.
23:24
And then another thing, another piece that we see with diet
23:30
culture promoting disordered relationship with food would be
23:32
like restricting certain food groups.
23:35
And we see this often times like every I feel like every decade
23:37
has like the demonized food, like maybe years ago like in the
23:41
maybe like the 90s it was like fat was bad, so everything was
23:44
low fat. Now it's like.
23:47
Eat fat? Yeah, exactly.
23:48
Totally. And now it's like gluten is the
23:50
devil, which you know, if you have celiac, of course honor
23:54
that you know. But just to show that there are
23:59
some, you know, I think that we can become a little bit more
24:03
savvy around the messages we're getting around food.
24:05
And I know it can be so, so tricky.
24:08
And so one of the guides that I found to be really helpful has
24:10
been intuitive eating. And there is a handbook by Elise
24:14
Resch and Evelyn Tripoli. And heads up diet culture has
24:19
sometimes taken intuitive eating and made that into a diet.
24:22
However, the original handbook is is kind of the I would go by
24:28
the original handbook and then when it comes to our bodies, I
24:33
think we can start to offer our bodies kindness and gratitude
24:38
and really work on not critiquing our bodies and not
24:42
critiquing the bodies of others. There is the sociocultural term
24:46
called fat talk, which is where women bond over their own
24:52
perceived like flaws about their own bodies.
24:56
Like you'll see this if like one woman A says I can't believe
24:59
this, my body, this part about my body, then women B will try
25:03
to make her feel better and say, oh you think that's bad, you
25:05
should look at my XY or Z. And So what we do is we try to
25:10
make you make one another feel better and normalize these
25:14
things. But what ends up happening is we
25:16
end up perpetuating this negative dialogue about our
25:20
bodies, whereas instead perhaps we can start start focusing on
25:24
things like how strong our bodies are, the functioning of
25:27
our bodies. Like since we started this
25:30
interview, think about how many breaths I have taken or you
25:33
taken or how many times our hearts have actually continued
25:37
to beat with us doing nothing. Like our bodies are miraculous
25:41
and amazing, but how much time do we actually spend thinking
25:46
about that. And so we can change the
25:48
dialogue about our bodies internally and within and
25:51
between our in our female groups.
25:55
I'll say one last thing about this is this idea of embodiment
25:58
when it comes to our bodies. And oftentimes what we've
26:01
learned to we've learned to think about our bodies from like
26:04
a third party perspective. So like for instance, I'm
26:06
looking at my Instagram reel and I'm looking at my body from an
26:10
external perspective and often times leading to critique like
26:14
oh, I should have done this or I didn't, whatever, Bad angle or
26:18
XY or Z. However.
26:20
But what embodiment invites us to do is actually focus on the
26:24
awareness of being a body. Like living in my body and
26:28
noticing, for instance, like what happens when I experience
26:32
joy. Like maybe I feel butterflies in
26:34
my stomach, or maybe my heart beats a little bit faster and
26:38
starting to just focus on living in my body and the goodness and
26:44
the good experiences. Like maybe I feel so exhilarated
26:46
when I go for a hike or start living from a place of
26:51
embodiment versus looking, being this outside observer of our
26:55
bodies. Yeah, that's good.
26:57
So basically, intentionally recognizing how you feel.
27:02
Yes. Yes, exactly.
27:04
Yep. Yeah.
27:04
Taking that moment and going, oh, like I'm feeling joyful or
27:09
this is exciting and because I think subconsciously we can just
27:14
let that go by and we're not ultimately thinking about how we
27:19
feel in a situation. And so I wanted to dive into
27:24
back into the eating disorder and.
27:28
So we all know that affects your physical body, but how does it
27:32
affect your your mental and even your spirituality as well, your
27:38
relationship with Christ? Yeah.
27:42
Something that I didn't realize was until I actually started
27:46
getting the nutrients that I needed or the nutrition that was
27:49
needed is how much nutrition impacts the brain.
27:54
Like I was able to think so much more clearly.
27:58
I felt like I had like a brain superpower or something because
28:00
I had just been so out of it from being not nourishing my
28:04
brain. And so I think there is such a a
28:07
cognitive impact on our our brains but also our emotions as
28:12
well. You know, I think we need, we
28:14
need food and nutrients in order for proper neuro
28:20
neurotransmitter balance. And so there was a huge impact
28:25
on our minds when it comes to, you know, eating enough
28:30
nutritionally, but then also my relationship with God, what I
28:34
didn't realize was how disconnected I had actually
28:38
become in my from my body. I, you know, oftentimes I would,
28:43
I would be feeling hungry, but I learned that that was actually
28:48
counter to the demands of the eating disorder.
28:50
So I started to numb out from a lot of my body cues.
28:53
However, during recovery, what I started to do is reintegrate my
28:57
relationship with my body and I started to notice like, oh, I'm
29:01
hungry, Okay, that means that I probably need to eat something.
29:04
But what I didn't realize was how actually God communicates to
29:08
me in and through my body. For instance, that still small
29:13
voice of God. Oftentimes that the cues of that
29:16
are in my body and I had not made that connection previously.
29:20
And so as the light started to turn on and I started to get the
29:23
nutrients that I needed, not only did I feel like God was
29:27
using my my brain and I was starting to see how God, you
29:31
know was in the midst of my thought life.
29:33
And I was just my my mind started to light up in ways that
29:37
it hadn't in years. But then also experiencing life
29:40
in in kind of 3D or Technicolor as I talked about in the book
29:44
just I was able to actually experience life in the fullness
29:48
of of who I was including my body and and how God even speaks
29:52
to me in the midst of of my my sensory input in my body.
29:58
So good. OK, so some woman I know feel
30:01
like maybe God is critiquing or judging.
30:04
I know we talked about judging ourselves and judging others,
30:08
and you mentioned this book that you gained this new perspective
30:11
of God during. Your own treatments, Could you
30:16
expand on that? Yeah, definitely.
30:20
Yeah. That was one of the tricky
30:21
things. I I think oftentimes I grew up
30:23
in the church and whenever things like body image or eating
30:27
disorders were were spoken about, I shouldn't say whatever.
30:30
I'll say numerous occasions that really that stuck with me was
30:35
that people I got the message of like yeah you shouldn't think
30:40
about those things because that's idolatry period.
30:43
And so I have this sense of like these struggles that I had with
30:47
food and exercise were were nothing that God was really
30:51
interested in and at at best in like best case scenario and
30:55
worst case scenario this was bad and I he didn't want anything to
31:00
do with that part of my life. And so when I talk about in the
31:03
book is that I felt like I was on this leading this life on
31:07
parallel tracks like a one track I was trying to be a Christian,
31:12
a good Christian and then on the other track I was trying to
31:15
follow the rules of the eating disorder.
31:16
However, I had no idea like how they integrated, how they
31:20
communicated with each other. However, at one point in
31:24
treatment I I should also say simultaneously I was getting a
31:28
degree in spiritual formation. And so in the during the day I
31:33
would go to my my programming for intensive eating disorder
31:37
treatment and then in the evening I would do my coursework
31:40
for spiritual formation. And during one of these we had
31:45
an intensives that I had to go to and I'm I'm laughing at
31:50
myself because I I recognize I I did do a lot of disturbment
31:52
around like should I be doing these two things at the same
31:54
time. But they actually ended up
31:56
informing each other in really significant ways and this is one
31:58
of the the instances of that. So during one of these intensive
32:02
sessions for spiritual formation, I I was invited into
32:07
this prayer experience. And during that time I I did
32:11
offer with my prayer partner. So I was hesitant at first to
32:16
actually tell her what I was struggling with.
32:18
She invited me to envision the faith face of Jesus.
32:22
And what came to me in the midst of that experience was just this
32:29
deep sense and this deep knowing.
32:31
I'm actually felt like. I envisioned like the
32:34
compassionate eyes of Jesus, and it was like this deep knowing,
32:37
like he knew where I've been. He saw the struggle and there
32:42
was no judgment, like, at all. It was just this deep sense of
32:46
compassion and empathy. And like, I know like I I see
32:49
it. I see where you've been and I'm
32:52
in it with you. And so that witness and that
32:55
presence of this compassionate, empathic, knowing presence of,
33:01
like, I'm with you and we're going to, we're going to work on
33:04
this together, that like shifted something deep within me and
33:09
help me to see that that God was on my side and never was judging
33:15
me in the way that I thought he was.
33:18
And so for me, that was a really significant shift.
33:23
I love that. Thanks for sharing that.
33:26
So I always think of shame comes barreling in when we can't
33:30
separate what we've done or what even has been done to us where
33:36
it's not even our fault from defining who we are, like we
33:41
can't separate that we're we're combining that and we're
33:44
defining ourselves by what we've done in the past or was been
33:49
done to us but. What advice could you give for
33:53
those suffering those shameful thoughts you know, body shame
33:58
and or who are frustrated with God because of their bodies?
34:06
Either one I I think that that body frustration oftentimes yeah
34:10
shame can be such a part of that.
34:12
For for someone who's maybe struggling with body shame in
34:14
particular. Something that's been really
34:15
helpful for me is actually trying to envision what is God's
34:21
love and acceptance for me look like.
34:23
What does it feel like? And maybe having this be like a
34:27
prayer practice or at in a time a quiet time like God, give me,
34:32
give me some words or give me an image.
34:35
What does your love, your acceptance look like?
34:39
And and trying to bask in that and embody the the feeling that
34:45
that felt sense of love, feeling that in in your body.
34:49
Because what we know is shame is embodied.
34:52
We feel shame maybe with a pit in your stomach or you know
34:55
maybe sweaty pants. We all have some different signs
34:58
of when our shame gets triggered.
35:01
However, I do think that love and grace can be an embodied
35:05
experience or it is an embodied experience as well.
35:07
So God, what? What does it feel like?
35:10
What does it look like? What does it sound like for Your
35:13
Grace to speak louder than the shame?
35:16
Yeah, so good. And we all know like the
35:19
ultimate healing is what Jesus did on the cross for us.
35:23
He took our shame. We, you know, nailed it to the
35:26
cross and. Once we really get that ground,
35:31
like roots in, you know, of what Jesus had already done on the
35:35
cross that he forgives and he's taken our shame and it's done.
35:41
There's one thing of reading something, believing it on the
35:45
on the page, but then to have that what you were talking
35:48
about, that experience, that encounter with with the Lord and
35:52
actually going OK like. I don't need to be shameful.
35:58
Jesus had already taken it all on the cross.
36:01
And you know, if we ever feel that shame come creeping in, we
36:05
just get to nail it back on the cross.
36:08
You know, he takes care of it. That's what he did for us.
36:11
And you know, there's there's so much to be said about what Jesus
36:15
stood on the cross. I love that.
36:17
It's our free gift, our grace that is undeserving.
36:20
I'm merited and just this. Free thing that we get to take
36:25
and live it out. And so I would love for us to
36:28
finish with a great take away for our listener, our friend
36:33
here, so she can pawn her on it or take action in it.
36:36
Yeah. Yeah.
36:38
And I apologize. It's going to be two parts.
36:41
The, the first part, the first take away is I would invite
36:45
listeners to start to uncover these lies around beauty.
36:50
And the reason why I invite people to do that first is
36:51
because I think they're so like I I think the enemy is in the
36:55
midst of this. And I think those lies are so
36:57
savvy and he's so savvy to lead us astray.
37:00
And so that's why I think awareness is so important, and
37:03
that's why I spent time on it in the book.
37:05
But then Part 2 is to start noticing where true beauty is in
37:10
the midst of, like, where you are right now.
37:13
And again, the definition I'm giving true beauty is the life
37:15
of God at work in us and among us.
37:18
And I think without that first part of seeing that cultural,
37:23
societal beauty is actually a dead end, I think it starts to
37:28
then take pull back the blinders a little bit on how truly
37:33
beautiful, authentic beauty is and how it actually leads us
37:36
into a life of thriving versus striving and shame like cultural
37:40
beauty. So good.
37:41
All right? Where can people connect with
37:44
you and get your book So Deep Beauty.
37:48
Yeah, so my podcast and website is called Impossible Beauty and
37:52
so it's Impossible beauty.com. And so there you'll see a tab at
37:57
the top to to purchase the book, but it's basically available
37:59
wherever books are sold. And then I think, I think Baker
38:03
Book House right now is actually running a a sale on it.
38:06
So heads up on that with with, with.
38:10
I think you can do the Code Soul SOUL, and then otherwise you can
38:15
find me at the Impossible Beauty Podcast and on my website and on
38:18
Instagram at Melissa dot Louise dot Johnson and at Impossible
38:22
dot Beauty. Thank you so much for listening
38:26
today, and I trust that God has encouraged you through this
38:29
story. Did you know this podcast is on
38:32
YouTube? Hop on there and subscribe and
38:35
you can see a live recording of each episode.
38:39
And For more information on this ministry and to access free
38:43
downloads, please visit my website at jamieelizabeth.com.
38:48
That's JAYME elizabeth.com. And let's connect beyond this
38:53
podcast by going to my Instagram handle, Jamie Elizabeth, She
38:57
Speaks Life or Facebook. Until next time, my friend.
39:01
I hope God reveals himself through your own life story.