Latest / The Good Girl Rebellion / 008 The Rebellion: Fear Is Not a Stop Sign: How to Know When to Trust Yourself

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008 The Rebellion: Fear Is Not a Stop Sign: How to Know When to Trust Yourself · The Good Girl Rebellion

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: What if the fear that you're feeling isn't actually a red flag?
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mean that something is wrong.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mean that you're making the wrong decision.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: It just means that your body hasn't actually caught up to where you want to go.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Your body hasn't recognized the fact that you're stepping out of your comfort zone and it feels uncomfortable.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Therefore, it's telling you it feels fearful and is trying to stop you making the decision.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: However, fear is just the distraction.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Fear is just the mask.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: Fear is just the barrier between us where we are now and going to the next level, creating the life that we want, and making that big decision that is gonna potentially change our life.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: Because you can't use I'm scared as the only metric to know if something is right for you or not, because there is going to be things that you're going to have to do in your life that are going to scare the absolute shit out of you.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: But the life you want is often on the other side of that big scary decision.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: So how can you tell the difference between fear from making the wrong decision and actually putting yourself in danger?
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: And fear is in stepping outside of your comfort zone and doing something that you've just never done before.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're ready to reclaim your power, reconnect with your wildest self and rise as the woman you were never taught to be, you are in the right place.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the rebellion.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: So how do you know the difference between fear and your intuition?
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: How do you know the difference between making the wrong decision and just stepping outside of your comfort zone and growing in a way that your body actually isn't familiar with?
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: Because whilst I'm an advocate of feel the fear and do it anyway, I know that often there is another voice inside your head.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: When you feel the fear and you don't know if you should do it or not, and you know that it's going to potentially push you out of your comfort zone, there is a voice, either speaking or not speaking, telling you to do or not to do something.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: And that is your intuition.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: And listening to your intuition and tapping into that inner voice inside you that tells you it's the wrong or right decision, is how you can separate fear from making the wrong decision and doing something that is going to just push you out of your comfort zone and help you to grow in the right direction.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: Because your fear absolutely deserves to be listened to, but it doesn't actually always need to be obeyed.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we can understand it, we can feel it, and we can decide to move anyway.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: Because there's often a big difference between fear is information and fear is in a general threat.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: Because you can feel exactly the same way, whether you're actually in genuine danger or whether you're just doing something that you've potentially never done before.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: For example, you could feel fear when you're doing something like being seen, taking a risk, disappointing somebody, setting a boundary, doing something for the first time, leaving something that once felt familiar, allowing yourself to want more, becoming someone your old identity doesn't recognize.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: And you have to ask yourself when you're in those positions, when you're about to set that boundary, when you're about to get on that flight, when you're about to leave your hometown, when you're about to quit your safe job, am I actually unsafe?
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: Or am I simply just uncomfortable?
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: Is this just a form of growth that is making me feel uncomfortable or am I actually in genuine danger?
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: Is there evidence that this is wrong for me?
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: Can you actually look at what you're about to do and see, is this the wrong decision?
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: Have I got way more cons than pros?
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: Am I going to potentially, in six months' time, know this is the wrong decision?
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you ask yourself those questions and you stop and you listen to your inner voice, you know the answer.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: Every single bad decision I have ever made, I have had my intuition telling me this isn't what you're supposed to be doing.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: This isn't the relationship you want to be in, this isn't the flight you want to get on, this isn't what you want to do.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: Every single bad decision I've ever made, my intuition has already told me it's the wrong decision, but I have chosen to ignore it and I've chosen to go anyway.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: So if you can understand and listen to your inner voice and know, is it speaking to me?
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: Is it telling me that something is potentially gonna go wrong?
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: Or is it my mind trying to keep me safe?
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: Because is your mind predicting things can go wrong?
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: Is your mind catastrophizing?
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: And would you still want to do that thing if you weren't afraid?
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Would you still want to make that move if you had no fear, if you had no doubts, if you knew it was 100% gonna work out?
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: Would you still want to make that move and do that thing that is scaring the shit out of you?
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because as I mentioned, every single time you make a decision, you will have that fear, that anxiety, that kind of wariness, and you know that you're making a big decision, you know it's gonna potentially change your life, and your intuition is always speaking alongside it.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: Your intuition has guided you along that way and is gently nudging you to make that move because you know it's the right decision, you know it's gonna get you where you need to go, or your intuition is whispering to you, don't do it, this isn't right, you know this isn't what you want to do, this isn't aligned with the woman that you know you want to be, this isn't how you should be spending your life.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: You know inside your mind, if you can allow yourself to slow down and listen, truly listen to your intuition, you can tell the difference between genuine fear and the fear of growth, the fear of expansion, the fear of stepping outside of your comfort zone and doing something new.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: Because the thing is, even though we are so advanced nowadays, our brain and our bodies and our physical are still so much more aligned to when we were cavemen, when we had genuine threats in the world, when we actually couldn't step out of our comfort zone and we couldn't step into the unfamiliar because that often meant death, because we had to stay with the crowd, we had to stay with the pack, we had to stay with what was known because the unknown was dangerous and it potentially meant death.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: Whereas nowadays, familiarity is so often not where we want to be.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: We don't want to be with the crowd, we don't want to stay in our hometown, we don't want to do the job that we've always done.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: We want to grow, we want to push ourselves, we want to evolve.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: Because if we're not evolving, what is the point?
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: Because the whole point of human existence is evolution.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're not evolving in your own life, then you're not living the true depth and meaning of the human experience because you're not evolving, you're not growing, you're not pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: And the whole point of life is to evolve and to see where you can push yourself, to see what you can get to, to see how many of your hopes, dreams, and desires you can achieve in this life.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: Because your brain likes familiarity, and because of this deep-rooted conditioning in staying in the known and staying in safe, your brain likes familiarity, it prefers familiarity.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: So even an unhappy, familiar circumstance can feel safer than an unknown better one because your body, your brain, everything, it already knows what to expect, it knows what's happening, it knows what's going on, it doesn't want any more because it doesn't want to have to figure out a whole new circumstance and a whole new environment.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: Which is often why people stay in marriages, jobs, hometowns, all these places and all these situations that make them so truly unhappy is because they're too afraid to push themselves out of our comfort zone because that fear of what if?
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: What if it's the wrong decision?
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: What if I fuck it up?
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: What if I fail?
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: What if, what if, what if?
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: There's always a what if fear.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: And so many of us never allow ourselves to go, do you know what?
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: Who the fuck cares?
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: What if this happens?
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: What if that happens?
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, great, but what if it doesn't?
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: What if it all goes how it's supposed to go and I get everything I've ever dreamt of?
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: So many of us never actually push ourselves out of our comfort zone and face those fears and make those moves and take those risks to actually find out who we could be on the other side of that big scary decision.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: Because the thing is, even when you start to change, your behavior changes before your nervous system actually recognizes that you're safe.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: So quite often, even when you make that move, even when you take that first step, it can still feel terrifying because your body hasn't adjusted to the fact that actually this new normal is safe.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: Actually, this new normal is where we want to be.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: Actually, this new normal is exactly what we're supposed to be doing with our life.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: It takes a minute for it to catch up, and that can feel so uncomfortable that so many people then think they've made the wrong decision and they then go back.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: Because you're asking yourself to enter territory that you've never been to before.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, that's gonna be scary.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, that's gonna have fear attached to it.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, it's gonna be uncertain, it's gonna make you feel uncomfortable, but you have to push through.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: Because all the things you've done in your life, everything you have done, once you had never done, once you'd never driven a car, once you had never even been to the shop on your own, once you'd never told somebody that you loved them, you'd never broken up with somebody.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: Every single thing you've done, you've never done once, but you've done it, and then you did it.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: And then when you did it, you did it again and you did it again and you did it again.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: And the more you do something, the more you raise your baseline, as we've spoken about in one of the previous episodes, your confidence comes after action, not before it.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: So you just don't have the evidence because you haven't done it before.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: You just don't have the proof and the confidence within yourself to know that you can do it because you've never done it before.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: But once you've done it, once you do it, once you take the action and make the moves, then you have the evidence and then everything seems simpler, everything seems easier because you know you're capable and you know you've done it, and you know that you felt the fear and you did it anyway, and nothing bad happened.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: But one of the hardest things about growth, especially for women, is the good girl trap.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's the this doesn't feel like me, this doesn't feel like who I'm supposed to be, this doesn't feel like the woman I am.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: However, most of the woman you are has been conditioned beliefs and how you should behave and how you should act and how you should show up in the world, not how you want to be, not how you want to show up, not how you want to act.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: Most of the time we've just been conditioned to be agreeable, sensible, predictable, responsible, the good girl, the one who doesn't rock the boat.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: So when you want to set a boundary, when you want to do something different, when you want to step out of the known norm comfort zone within your family, within your tribe, within your community, obviously you're gonna be rebelling against this good girl conditioning.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: You're going to be feeling uncomfortable because it doesn't feel like you.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: But actually, was that ever you?
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know who you truly are when no one else is in the room?
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know who you are when no one is telling you who you should be?
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know who you are when you strip away all of that conditioning and all of those rules and ways that we've been told to live our lives?
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: Who are you when you take away how we've been told we should live, how we've been told we would be happy, how we've been told what we should want, what we should chase after, what we should desire in this life.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: Who are you when you take all of that away?
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: Because as soon as you want to step out of that known bubble, as soon as you want to start your own business, you want to speak your truth, you want to set the boundary, you want to say no, you want to disappoint someone, you want to post online, you want to choose yourself, your brain is going to tell you this isn't you, this isn't us, this isn't what we're supposed to be doing, this isn't the norm.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: Because yes, maybe it isn't the old you, but it doesn't mean that it's wrong.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes becoming the woman that you know you want to be means you have to feel unfamiliar to yourself first.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: You have to step out of your comfort zone and you have to feel that discomfort.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: You have to experience the discomfort from everybody else around you in your life, and you just have to know that you're making the right decision and know that sometimes fear isn't don't do this.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes fear is I've never seen you do this before.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes fear is I've never been here before.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: I've never seen anyone else do this before.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: I've never had any role model in my life do this.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: I've never had anybody in my life do this.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: I've never seen anyone live the way that I desire to live.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's just knowing that what you want is achievable, but you have to experience that fear and discomfort in the void between stepping outside of your old life and stepping into the life that you know you want to truly be living.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: Because there is a big difference between fear as a red flag and fear meaning that you're potentially in danger, and fear that could be your growth edge.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: So things that could be fear that deserve your attention, fear that are potentially dangerous, things that are red flags is is someone violating your boundaries?
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: Is someone pushing a boundary that you've put in place?
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: Are you feeling pressured to do something or behave or show up or be a certain type of way?
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: Is your body constantly telling you that something is wrong around a person?
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: Do you feel anxious?
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: Do you feel overwhelmed?
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: Do you feel sad, nervous?
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: Understand how your body reacts because how your body reacts when you're with certain people is a direct reflection of their impact on your nervous system, their impact on your energy, their impact on you as a person.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: Do you feel drained and tired and lethargic after you've been with them?
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: Or do you feel energized and upbeat and happy and uplifted?
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: Listen to your body because your body speaks way before your mind understands that something is wrong.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: Are there concrete warning signs?
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: Can you actually see that you are potentially going to put yourself in danger?
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: Are you ignoring evidence because you desperately want something to work?
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: Are you ignoring the fact that you're potentially spending all your money on something that might not work?
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: Putting yourself out there in a way that might be harmful for you?
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: Are you in a position that you feel you cannot actually safely say no?
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: Are you rationalizing behavior that objectively concerns you?
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: Are you telling yourself that something is okay when actually you know deep down it's not okay and it's not where you align with and it's not what you want?
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: Are you trying to normalize this behavior in order to make yourself feel better?
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: Because intuition is often a gentle nudge.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: Your intuition is often a gentle voice that says, this is what you should do, you should do this, we should do this.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: Whereas fear is often bolder, it's often stronger, it's often an immediate, you know you're in danger, or you know that you're making the wrong decision.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: And whether you choose to ignore it or whether you choose to listen to it is up to you.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: But fear that could be your growth edge is worrying about things like, are people gonna judge me?
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: What if I fail?
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: What if I embarrass myself?
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: What if nobody likes me?
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: What if nothing works out?
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: What if I actually succeed and I get everything I've ever wanted?
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: What if I leave and I regret it?
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: What if I'm not good enough?
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: What if people think I've changed?
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: What if I'm making the wrong decision?
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's what if fears.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: These what if questions are most of the time your fear pushing you to stop making a decision that's going to get you to grow, to stop making you step outside of your comfort zone and keeping you safe and keeping you protected and keeping you in the known bubble that it knows that you have lived in and you've been in and it's safe and nothing bad happened to it.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: Deep down, you actually most of the time know that it's going to be the right decision, but you're just trying to keep yourself safe.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: You're trying to keep yourself in the known.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: You're trying to keep yourself from embarrassment, from making the wrong decision, from potentially fucking everything up.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: But if you can listen to intuition and you know that it isn't telling you to stop and it isn't telling you it's the wrong decision, then you just have to act.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: And nobody really knows what they're doing when they start something new.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody knows what to do and how to behave and how to act.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: You just show up and you suck, and you might fuck it up and you might do it wrong, but you just keep showing up over and over and over again, and then eventually you do it really well, and then you keep doing it well, and you keep doing it better, and those what if fears go away because you know what you're doing, and you know you can hold the space, and you know you can be who you know you're supposed to be, but every time you're gonna grow again, those what-if fears are gonna come up.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: So it's just about understanding what is the difference between fear, genuine fear, and the fear of growth, the fear of stepping outside of your comfort zone and the fear of doing something that is going to cause you to become the woman you know you were put on this earth to be.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: Because rather than fighting the fear, you have to ask yourself, what is it actually protecting me from?
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: What is it actually stopping me from experiencing?
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: What is it actually showing me that I'm actually afraid of deep down?
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like what are you actually afraid will happen if you put yourself out there, if you set that boundary, if you do the thing that you really want to do, what is it you're afraid is gonna happen?
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: And if that happened, what would it mean about you?
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: For example, if you want to set a boundary with somebody and you're afraid that because you set that boundary they might leave you, is that person supposed to be in your life anyway?
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: If you're worried about putting yourself out there online and you don't know what's gonna happen and you're afraid that people are gonna judge you and it's gonna be embarrassing and it's all gonna fail, but what if it doesn't?
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: And why are people judging you for being yourself and putting yourself out there and sharing your voice and your authenticity when that's the whole point of life is to be your most authentic self.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: And if people are judging you for being your most authentic self, that says more about them than it does about you.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: And what if it all works out but you never did it because you're scared and concerned about what Sally, who you went to secondary school with, is going to think about you?
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: When actually your voice could help hundreds or thousands of people change their life when you're doing the world a disservice by not sharing who you are, you're doing the world a disservice by not stepping into your power and being who you know you're put on this earth to be.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: Whose approval you're afraid of losing?
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: What version of yourself are you afraid of becoming?
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: What would you have to believe about yourself if you actually went for it?
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: All of these questions help you get deeper into your fear and understand what it is you're actually afraid of.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: Because every single one of these fears will have a wound, it will have a shadow, it will have something attached to it underneath.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: And when you can unmask that shadow, when you can actually see where it is, you can then start to work on where that fear comes from, where that fear originated from, where that fear was originally born or learnt or developed.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_00: And then you can alchemize it, you can turn your pain, you can turn that shadow into light, you can turn it into your power, you can turn it into your drive to actually go after what it is you want, to understand that you don't have to be afraid.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: Because why are we afraid?
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: Fear is another conditioned belief that we have that we have to be a certain type of way in order to be accepted by our community, in order to be accepted in the tribe.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: When we don't have to be a certain type of way, we don't have to be any certain type of way in order to fit in.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: We can be exactly who we want to be.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: And the people who are meant to find you in your life will find you.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: The people who are supposed to be in your life will be there.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: I don't believe anything, any circumstance, any situation, any place, any opportunity can pass you by if you live authentically and you live in alignment with who you know you are supposed to be.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_00: So feel your fear and do it anyway.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: Because your courage isn't the absence of fear.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_00: Your courage is being able to move with fear present.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's being able to feel the fear and do it anyways.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: Being able to know that you don't need certainty, you don't need everyone to understand you.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: You do not need a guarantee that it will work.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: You just need enough trust in yourself to know that you'll deal with whatever happens.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: As we spoke about in the other episodes, you have to have the self-belief and the self-trust that whatever comes your way, you can handle.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever comes your way, you're going to be okay.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: And the goal isn't to become the woman who never feels fear.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: The goal is to become the woman who doesn't abandon herself and her hopes, her dreams, and her desires every single time fear comes up because she knows she is capable of doing it regardless of the fear.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: There is so many times that I have felt the fear and done it anyway.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: For example, like this podcast.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted a podcast for ever.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to share my voice in some way, shape, or form.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I put it off over and over and over again because I told myself that I just wasn't supposed to be there, I wasn't supposed to be doing this.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: I told myself that I just wasn't prepared.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't have anything to talk about, I didn't have anything that would help people.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: But then the more I spent time with friends and family and girlfriends especially, I realized just how much knowledge I actually have.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I was encouraged by so many wonderful women in my life that I have so much knowledge to give, I have so much to share, I have a voice that I know could help and heal others.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_00: So here I am on the podcast, in like 40 episodes in, and it's growing, it's getting there, it's going to become something incredible and something beautiful, and we're building an amazing community.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I wouldn't be here if I hadn't sat down and recorded my first episode on my bedroom floor while I was traveling in Asia last year.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely fucking scared, shitless, to the point where I couldn't even speak into the microphone without having my voice shake so much.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't believe me, go back and listen to the very first episode.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: Because looking back now to that was just over a year ago, I think, looking back to where I was then and where I am now, I never would have believed that I would have been able to actually film myself, let alone record the podcast without stuttering and record the podcast where I have talking prompts and bullet points and headers that I want to talk about in each and every episode.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_00: But most of it is my own intuitive voice.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_00: I just speak, I share what comes to mind.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even think about it, I just share.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: And looking back, me last year never ever would have believed that was possible.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: But I did it.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: I showed up and I put myself out there and I felt the fear and I did it anyway, and now here I am.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: So this is my sign to you that you need to feel the fear and do it anyway.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_00: You just need to put yourself out there because the more you put yourself out there and the more you do it and the more you show up, the easier it will get.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then you'll realize that actually in the end there was never anything to be scared of.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: It was just your own mind telling you that things were gonna go wrong, trying to keep you safe in your comfort zone, in this protective bubble that it knows that you're safe in when nothing good comes from your comfort zone.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: No life worth having doesn't come with a little bit of fear.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_00: Because the good girl wants you to be certain.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_00: The good girl wants to know exactly what's gonna happen before she takes action.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_00: She wants permission, reassurance, guarantee, everyone to agree.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: She wants a sign from the universe that it's all gonna work out, and no possibility of failure, no possibility of being disliked, no possibility of pissing anybody off, of rocking the apple car, of making anyone upset.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: But adulthood doesn't work like that.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: The rebellious girl doesn't work like that.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: The most authentic, truly aligned version of yourself doesn't work like that, and you know it.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: You know that's not who you are supposed to be.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_00: You know you need to push your boundaries in order to get the life you want to get.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: Because you're not gonna have all of those guarantees.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: You're just not.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: But you show up, you learn, you do it, you change your mind, you leave, you try again, you survive the embarrassment, you survive disappointing people, you survive being misunderstood, you survive finding out something wasn't for you, and you try again because you know what?
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_00: Who the fuck cares?
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: And if someone in your life cares that deeply that they're gonna shame you and blame you and make you feel embarrassed for the risk you took and the chance you took and for putting yourself out there, then that person doesn't deserve a place in your life.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_00: That person is not the kind of person you want to be surrounding yourself with.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_00: So feel the fear and do it anyway, and know that it is all going to be worth it in the end.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_00: Because as I've said before, self-trust isn't knowing that everything's gonna work out.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_00: Self-trust is knowing that whatever happens, you will meet yourself there.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever happens, you know that you felt the fear and you did it anyway, and you can deal with whatever comes your way, you can deal with the circumstance, you can deal with the backlash if there is any.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because I tell you most of the time, the fear was in your mind and there is gonna be no backlash.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_00: So your rebellious act for this week to understand what it is you're stopping yourself from doing because you're too afraid of something going wrong, is to ask yourself, I want you to get your journal out, I want you to ask, what am I not doing because I'm afraid that it's not going to work out?
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_00: And just list.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_00: List a load of things because there might be a few things, there might be multiple, and I want you to pick one, and I want you to either do it or make the move to do it.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: Whether it could be starting a podcast, posting online, setting a boundary, ending a relationship, leaving your hometown, quitting your job, doing whatever it is you want to do, whatever it is you're too afraid of doing because of these what if fears, I want you to make one move to do it.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I want you to put in the comments below what it is you're doing so that we can keep everybody accountable and we can be here and we can be on each other's team and we can make sure that we all face our fears and do it anyway, because what better way to face your fears than with a community of women by your side?
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for listening to today's episode.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_00: I hope it helps you feel the fear and do it anyway, and understand that your fear is just your mind trying to keep you safe.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_00: If you can understand what your intuition is trying to tell you, what you know deep down is the right decision, how you know you should be moving, how you know you should be acting, and then feeling the fear and doing it anyway.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you again so much for listening.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_00: If you haven't already, make sure to follow or subscribe to the podcast wherever you are listening or watching.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_00: And you can come find me on Instagram for all things breaking your good girl conditioning and witch tips.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: I will see you again on the podcast next week.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_00: All my love, as always.