Latest / The Voice: Breaking, Believing, Becoming / The Truth About Mother’s Day

Transcript

The Truth About Mother’s Day · The Voice: Breaking, Believing, Becoming

• 0:10
  Welcome to The Voice, where breaking, believing, and becoming finally have somewhere to be heard.
• 0:17
  I'm Kim Munoz, and I'm really glad you're here.
• 0:22
  You know, I used to think Mother's Day was simple.
• 0:25
  You post a cute picture, write a caption, pretending your children haven't stressed
• 0:30
  you out for at least 20 years, go to brunch, eat overpriced eggs,
• 0:34
  and call it a beautiful day.
• 0:37
  But with Mother's Day coming up, I've been thinking about it a little differently
• 0:41
  this year, because it's not simple for everyone.
• 0:45
  But I also think, for most of us as mothers, it's never really been simple.
• 0:51
  Because motherhood is this constant evolution. We're always learning,
• 0:55
  always adjusting, always trying to get it right, while knowing deep down inside
• 1:01
  it's an imperfect rule we're never actually going to perfect.
• 1:05
  I've been a mother for 34 years now, and I can confidently tell you that there's
• 1:11
  no rule on earth that will humble you faster than motherhood. Nothing.
• 1:17
  Not marriage, not dating apps, not menopause, not even trying to assemble furniture
• 1:23
  from Amazon with no instructions.
• 1:25
  Nothing. Because motherhood is basically spending decades wondering if you're
• 1:31
  doing enough while simultaneously feeling guilty for sitting down.
• 1:38
  And if we're being honest, I think most mothers walk around carrying this invisible
• 1:43
  pressure to perfect a role that was never designed to be perfected.
• 1:48
  There came a point in my life where I realized I was being harder on myself than God ever was.
• 1:55
  And motherhood will expose that real quick.
• 1:59
  Because apparently, God gives you children and then expects you to trust Him with them.
• 2:06
  Spiritually, that sounds beautiful. But emotionally, it feels a little aggressive to me.
• 2:11
  No, really. You spend years trying to protect them, and then God gently reminds
• 2:16
  you, those are my children.
• 2:19
  And let me tell you something, that realization will either bring you peace,
• 2:23
  or it will make you need an espresso martini and a prayer break.
• 2:30
  And at this stage of my life, with three adult sons, I can confidently say,
• 2:36
  motherhood doesn't really get easier, it just changes.
• 2:40
  You stop worrying about whether they ate vegetables, and you start wondering, are they okay?
• 2:46
  Are they choosing well? are they carrying too much and somehow you're still awake at 2 a.m.
• 2:54
  Thinking about all of it i mean once you're a mother do you ever sleep again
• 2:59
  but i've learned something over the years,
• 3:03
  when i feel myself spiraling i've had to learn how to shift that instead of
• 3:09
  asking what's wrong i ask what's god trying to show me,
• 3:14
  And now, as a mother of adult children, the question has grown a little.
• 3:19
  And it's not just what is God teaching me, it's also what is God teaching them
• 3:24
  that I'm not supposed to interfere with.
• 3:28
  And that part, that is hard.
• 3:31
  Because every instinct in you wants to step in, fix it, protect them, make it easier.
• 3:39
  But sometimes, God is doing a work in their lives that doesn't require my control.
• 3:45
  It requires my trust. And that's a different kind of faith.
• 3:50
  I remember bringing Tyler home, my oldest son, and feeling this overwhelming gratitude.
• 3:56
  And then almost immediately, this wave of respect for my own parents hit me like a train.
• 4:01
  I was like, oh, this is what they carried for me.
• 4:05
  And then life happened. My first marriage ended way earlier than my very romanticized,
• 4:12
  slightly unrealistic brain ever planned, and I didn't really have time to sit
• 4:18
  in that, because life kept moving.
• 4:20
  And eventually, I met someone, and at the time, I really believed this was it.
• 4:27
  This was going to be the forever version of my life, the one where everything finally came together.
• 4:34
  And I didn't just see it for me, I saw it for Tyler too.
• 4:38
  Because as a mom, you're not just choosing for yourself anymore,
• 4:42
  you're choosing for your child.
• 4:45
  And I believed I was building something stable, something whole,
• 4:49
  something that would last.
• 4:52
  But then life surprised me yet again.
• 4:56
  Not slowly, not gently, and definitely not quietly, but all at once with Maxwell and Jordan, my twin.
• 5:05
  And honestly, I still think God was showing off a little. I remember thinking, why me?
• 5:11
  Why was I chosen to experience this kind of love when there are so many incredible
• 5:17
  women still waiting for that opportunity?
• 5:20
  And that's hard to reconcile sometimes. It just is.
• 5:24
  But what I didn't realize then was that my boys weren't just blessings.
• 5:29
  They were teachers, all three of my boys.
• 5:32
  They met me in different seasons of my life, and they gave me exactly what I needed.
• 5:38
  It's almost like God knew what he was doing.
• 5:42
  They taught me strength, resilience, endurance, and a kind of love that will
• 5:48
  absolutely wreck you in the best way.
• 5:53
  I stayed in this marriage as long as I could, because I wanted them to have stability.
• 5:58
  I wanted them to have a family, something that felt whole.
• 6:02
  And people ask me, do you regret staying?
• 6:06
  And honestly, I think we make the best decisions we can with the versions of
• 6:11
  ourselves we are at the time.
• 6:13
  And sometimes women stay because they are weak.
• 6:17
  But sometimes women stay because they love deeply. And there's a difference.
• 6:23
  And my staying, it cost me. But my boys, they were worth it.
• 6:28
  I would carry that cost again for them, over and over and over again.
• 6:35
  The older my boys get, the more I think about what children actually see.
• 6:39
  Not what we say, but what we model.
• 6:42
  And I think about my own mother, and I hope she sees pieces of herself in me.
• 6:48
  My faith, my resilience, my strength, and yes, my ability to worry.
• 6:55
  That one definitely transferred.
• 6:58
  But with Mother's Day coming up, I know this week can feel complicated.
• 7:02
  For some, it's beautiful. For others, it's heavy.
• 7:06
  For those who long to be mothers, for those who have lost children,
• 7:11
  for those grieving their own mothers, I see you.
• 7:15
  Because motherhood isn't just biological.
• 7:18
  It's love. It's nurturing. It's showing up.
• 7:23
  Before we go, I want to leave you with a few questions.
• 7:27
  What parts of motherhood shaped you for better or worse?
• 7:32
  What did you need that maybe no one realized you needed?
• 7:37
  And if you're a mother, are you giving yourself grace, our only pressure?
• 7:43
  What are you still healing while trying not to pass it down to your children?
• 7:49
  And what would change if you focused less on doing motherhood perfectly and
• 7:55
  more on doing it lovingly?
• 7:58
  Sit with that this week. I'll see you next time, and until then, take care of yourself.
• 8:05
  Call your mom or don't. Pray about it first. And remember, motherhood was never about perfection.
• 8:14
  It was always about love. Keep becoming.
• 8:17
  And if this episode stirred something in you, you already know espresso martinis are always optional.