Latest / The Career Mentor Podcast with Fexingo: Finding Mentors, Sponsors, and Career Advisors / How to Find a Mentor When You Feel Stuck in Your Role
Transcript
- Lucas: So you're in a role that's fine — maybe even good — but you feel like you're treading water. No clear path forward, no obvious next step. You're not unhappy enough to quit, but you're not engaged enough to feel like you're growing. Luna: Right. That weird middle zone where you're not desperate, but you're also not thriving. I think a lot of people stay there for years because they don't know what to do about it. Lucas: Exactly. And the instinct is often to update your resume or start browsing job boards. But what if the best move is actually to find a mentor — someone who can help you see options you can't see from inside your own desk chair? Luna: That sounds good in theory, but how do you even find a mentor when you don't know what you want? Like, if you're stuck, you can't exactly say 'I want to be like you' because you don't know what your 'like you' is yet. Lucas: That's exactly the problem — and it's why most people never ask. They wait until they have a clear target, which means they never start. So let me propose a different approach: micro-mentorships. Luna: Micro-mentorships. I've heard the term, but define it for someone who hasn't. Lucas: It's a low-stakes, short-term mentoring arrangement. Instead of asking someone to be your mentor for the next year — which is a huge ask — you ask for one conversation. One 20-minute chat. A single piece of advice. You're not looking for a lifelong guide; you're looking for a perspective shift. Luna: Okay, that's much easier to ask for. But who do you ask? If you're stuck in marketing, do you go to another marketer? Someone in a different function? Lucas: That's the key insight. When you're stuck, the best person to talk to is often someone who has a job you're curious about — even if it seems completely unrelated. Because they can show you what's possible outside your current frame. Luna: Give me a real example. Lucas: Sure. I know a marketing manager — let's call her Priya — who felt stuck in her consumer goods role. She didn't hate it, but she felt like she was on a treadmill. She reached out to a product manager at a tech company, someone she'd met at a conference once. She asked for 15 minutes to hear about how that person moved from marketing into product. Luna: And what happened? Lucas: The product manager said yes. In that conversation, Priya learned that product management wasn't as far from marketing as she thought — it was about understanding customer needs, which she already did. That one conversation gave her a new lens on her own skills. Six months later, she made an internal transfer to a product role. Luna: So the ask was small — 15 minutes — and the outcome was a career shift. That's the power of a micro-mentorship. But how do you find these people? Not everyone has a conference connection. Lucas: You start with your existing network. LinkedIn is an obvious tool, but I'd recommend looking at your alumni network first. People from your university are often more willing to help because of shared identity. Also, look at people who've moved from your company to a role you find interesting — they understand your context. Luna: Right, because they've been where you are. So you have a list of candidates. How do you actually reach out? What's the email or message that gets a yes? Lucas: Three components. One: acknowledge their time — be specific that you're asking for 15 or 20 minutes. Two: show you've done your homework — mention something specific about their career path that caught your attention. Three: state your goal clearly — not 'I want you to mentor me', but 'I'm exploring what a move into product could look like and your transition from marketing to product would be incredibly helpful to hear about.' Luna: That's concrete. No vague flattery. But what if they say no? Or don't respond? Lucas: Then you move on. No follow-up beyond one polite nudge after a week. The beauty of micro-mentorships is that you can approach multiple people — it's not a marriage proposal. You're just looking for a conversation. If you reach out to five people, you'll probably get one or two yeses, and that's enough. Luna: I like this because it removes the pressure. But I want to talk about what happens during that conversation. Because if you show up and just say 'I'm stuck', you'll waste their time. Lucas: Absolutely. You need to prepare. Before the meeting, write down three things: what you've tried, what you're curious about, and what you're afraid of. That gives you a framework. During the conversation, you ask open-ended questions: 'What was the moment you decided to make that move?' 'What did you learn that surprised you?' 'What would you do in my shoes?' Luna: And you listen more than you talk. I think a lot of people make the mistake of treating it like an interview — they try to impress the mentor. But the goal is to learn, not to sell yourself. Lucas: Exactly. The mentor's time is the gift. Your job is to absorb. And here's the thing — if the conversation goes well, you can ask for a follow-up. Not 'will you be my mentor?' but 'would you be open to a 15-minute check-in next month?' That's how a micro-mentorship becomes a real mentoring relationship over time. Luna: And that's how you turn a single chat into a career-changing relationship. But I want to address the elephant in the room: what if you're in a role that feels completely dead-end? Like, you're in a function you dislike and you want to switch industries entirely. Lucas: That's actually a great use case for micro-mentorships with people in industries you're curious about. You're not asking them to help you leave your job; you're asking them to help you understand what their industry is really like. One conversation can save you months of wasted applications. Luna: Or it can confirm that you're romanticizing something. I had a friend who wanted to move into sustainability consulting. After three conversations with people in the field, she realized the day-to-day was more data analysis than she wanted. That saved her a costly career pivot. Lucas: That's exactly the kind of clarity a micro-mentorship provides. It's a low-cost way to test assumptions. And I think that's the core message for anyone feeling stuck: you don't need a grand plan. You just need one conversation with someone who's been where you want to go. Luna: Which reminds me — a quick honest thing. The reason we can keep having these conversations, episode after episode, is because of listeners like you who chip in at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. That's literally what funds making this many episodes without ads. Lucas: Yeah, it's true. We don't run sponsorships, so it's listener-supported. If you've found any of these episodes helpful for your own career thinking, that's the way to keep it going. No pressure, just wanted to mention it. Luna: Okay, back to the stuck-in-your-role topic. One thing I want to add: once you have that micro-mentorship conversation, what do you do with the advice? How do you turn it into action? Lucas: You take notes immediately after the call. Then you identify one concrete action you can take within the next week. Maybe it's updating your LinkedIn profile to reflect a new skill. Maybe it's signing up for a course. Maybe it's setting up another informational interview. The point is to create momentum. Luna: And you should follow up with the mentor after you take that action. A simple note: 'Hey, I took your advice and did X. It led to Y. Thanks again.' That builds the relationship and keeps the door open. Lucas: Exactly. And that's how a single micro-mentorship can snowball into a network of advisors. Because that person will remember you as someone who listens and acts. They'll be more likely to refer you to others or think of you for opportunities. Luna: So the takeaway for anyone feeling stuck: you don't need to have it all figured out. You just need the courage to ask for 15 minutes. One conversation could shift your entire perspective. Lucas: And that's the thing about being stuck — it's often a sign that you're ready to grow, but you just need a new map. A mentor, even for a short time, can help you draw one. Luna: Next episode, we're going to talk about something that comes up a lot: what to do when you've outgrown your mentor. How to know when it's time to move on, and how to do it gracefully. Lucas: That's an important one. But for now, if you're feeling stuck, start with that one conversation. You might be surprised where it leads.