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Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just: The Three Steps of Divine Balance and Decision Making 1.13.26 · Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha

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  Yeah, Dallas, the hardest question tried to answer
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  yesterday. If I told you I back and forth
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  throughout the day on this question, it's answer which is
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  Hasid is a God that was trying to be a better guy.
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  For example, it comes to the area of Kedusha Hashem.
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  He really cares about making Kedusha Hashem.
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  He's also a person really cares about his fellow Jew and he's
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  dedicated to his fellow Jew so much.
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  Now he has a balance question. When is it considered overdoing?
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  How do you know what's the inside?
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  I know. What's this at all?
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  All right. It's one of the most challenging
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  questions. I'll give you a very strange
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  angle. That's a classic one from the
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  Gallo Navona from his students. His name was of High Evolution.
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  I said this to a small group on Shabbat morning.
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  Listen to this idea. And sounds backward before he's
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  on inside. It's so proven to be true.
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  It's wild. But it's such a odd idea.
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  He said if someone poor person comes to you and you think you
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  hang in your pocket and it goes isn't too fast and you get a lot
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  of money, did you give it to the guy very easily?
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  That's coming from possibly the it's a hurdle.
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  If you struggle, should I give? Should I not give?
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  Do I give? Do I not give?
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  I commit to give and you end up giving the guy the money that's
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  coming from the Itza Hetto. That's what he said.
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  Turn backward. It sounds like you'd say the
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  opposite. What do you mean?
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  If it comes easy, it's a good thing.
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  If it's difficult, it's about that.
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  The opposite is true. He writes that if we have a past
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  incarnation recently, we just move and we do it.
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  That's because that's for our body.
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  It's from our mind, it's from our our just doing that.
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  It's really bossy. It's at all.
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  But if you do something, even though it doesn't look so
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  awesome, that's actually come from a good place.
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  And you use this rule in a very similar way.
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  What what about training yourself?
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  Eventually you can make you it's a it's A at all.
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  You can combine the two. You're good to go, but in very
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  often I'm telling you, I, I have this person that we discussed
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  this. We always talk about should
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  should you go to the wedding? Should you not go to the
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  wedding? Should you go to Beta village?
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  Because you say don't go to beta, right.
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  And sometimes you say I got to go.
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  If you, you really need you. I don't have to really need you.
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  It's something I don't want to go for.
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  You pick yourself up to go and it turns out after you went, he
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  says, if I didn't go, it would have been a different world.
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  And what made you go? You push yourself.
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  Same example we have in many, many examples of their college 1
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  and especially community worth is a major one, which with the
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  classic example, one of the most famous is that his student take
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  on a villainous student came to him and said I want to open up a
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  model of a yeshiva idea called yeshiva.
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  There was no, at least not in Europe, there was no yeshiva.
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  He used to just learn at the local schools.
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  It wasn't a thing to have a structure of a school didn't
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  exist. And he came up with the model
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  that camped his rabbi, and his rabbi got in the villain and
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  told him, don't do it. And then officially, he came
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  back five years later and said, I really want to do it.
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  I really want to do it. And now.
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  But the second time, I said, go ahead with it.
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  And the question was, come on, five years ago.
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  I lost five years in this process.
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  Why don't you let me do it the first time?
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  He said, the first time you were too eager, you're too excited.
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  And that made me scared If he said there's a Jock words that
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  gave me pause. They gave me caution because of
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  the fact you're too excited. I'm not sure where it's coming
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  from. Maybe it's coming from you can.
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  Maybe it's coming from motivation to, you know,
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  establish something to your kids, joining the kind phone
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  want to make money, you whatever some other reason.
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  Maybe it's power, who knows? But now that you're doing it and
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  it's five years later, which means you really care about it
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  and then the excitement's gone away and still you're interested
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  that Joey is coming from a good place.
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  I like that idea. And that proves his point.
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  They have to have the level of balance every time I make a
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  decision. Now, it's very difficult to make
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  decisions. It's very difficult to be
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  motivated to give charity, to do to the car, to do mitzvot, all
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  these things that are very possible.
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  If you overly balance or if you're overly thought out, you
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  won't do anything, right? Very possible.
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  Some people don't ever make a move because they think things
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  do 1000 times and because of that, they find 1000 reasons why
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  yes and 1000 reasons why no and therefore they freeze.
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  And if you will like that, I have a little bit on myself
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  actually. And because of that, you end up
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  not budget. So you have to figure out how to
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  lay the balance and how to figure it out.
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  But to recognize first balance is key thinking.
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  If it's true, it's very important to be highly motivated
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  and just go is no good. To be highly the opposite, which
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  is not motivated. I just sit and I change is also
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  not good. Let's see how we can figure out.
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  Marcia said it's Leviata when a person needs to clarify is whom
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  Ishkala Hasidou does this balance more in Yan Ikaray me
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  old? It's extremely important topic.
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  You should know it's the hardest job of being a good Jew and pie
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  is Jew in this area, very fine area.
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  The hardest job is to be to weigh the balance properly.
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  Very delicate Yes Lai, it's about the vase kanisaga dolog
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  and the ETA Allah is a very strong anxious into this
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  Kingdom. Set sakanato A tuma and you're
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  in grave danger. If you want to be a good person
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  in grave danger of not knowing which way to go.
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  OK, I bet divide intervene many good things you can make you
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  believe they are bad. Barbell had the in and that many
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  non critics yet said I can bring you close to them saying they
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  could the qarer Ki llahemitzvat kit the lot.
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  The Ezzerrak can convince you sounds like an exaggeration.
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  The Ezzerrak can convince you that bad thing is a mitzvah.
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  Now is it OK? It's a good thing you have a
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  conversation. Give you a classic example, have
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  a conversation and then you have a tip of your tongue.
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  You have something that's not good to say.
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  You're trying to control yourself and talking bad.
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  How does it come out? How does it come out?
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  You have a thought in your mind and says it's OK to say, let me
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  go further. It's a good thing to say.
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  Someone tells me to feel happier if I say it.
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  I'm going to be able to create a relationship with them if I say
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  it. And all those thoughts that go
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  through your mind and they're very normal, those are real
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  thoughts. And it was a yet said, ah,
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  possibly pushing something as a good deed.
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  And it's not nobody, you know, not many people at least you and
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  I know are evil and yet they do things that are wrong.
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  How do you explain good people doing wrong things?
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  Well one of the ways are this and mine.
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  Racialize the process. This is why Uber met.
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  The reality is no person can actually perfect this balance.
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  Ella, you need 3 tools to develop the balance #1 she and
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  the boy Azar need to have a streamline to think clearly,
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  which means he wants to make sure that he's making Hashem
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  happy. That's all part of 1A straight
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  mind, trying to do things for God's sake, The Lord zulak zeko,
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  nothing else but God's sake. He try.
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  Still not clear because I don't know what God's sake is.
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  OK, you try. You shyam na ayen amasab eun
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  gadol. You analyze your actions with a
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  great detailed analysis. Take a decision that you made
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  fishing to me to rent this earning house and deal in the
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  summit to move to his earning home.
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  You have 1000 things, 1000 factors, my kids, their friends,
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  my in laws, my this my that music is sure.
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  Now you say sure I need a new shoe.
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  You have 1000 ways. I like the area, I don't like
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  the area and they go on and on and on.
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  Now the truth is because of this balance and this way go nowhere,
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  we have to try to 1st put out a shem them on #2 then you weigh
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  and you analyze and then rather see the words is the analyzer.
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  Probably that is key. We can debate things all day
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  long. All right, I told you David my
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  debate yesterday. We can debate things all day
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  long. And where should your kids go to
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  school? Was it a hard question once or
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  no? Or should your kids go to
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  school? Was it easy?
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  No, no. Or did your wife make a decision
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  that too? Why?
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  Where my kids go to school is also technically easy.
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  But I'm sure there'll be a time at certain ages and certain
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  schools and certain high schools have to be a level of debate.
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  Wait now for people who are some way find themselves some way in
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  between. There's always 2 schools are
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  nearby each other. People find us some way in
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  between. Big, big debate where you should
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  make kids go to school. And you know how hard it is.
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  You know how much a debate. First of all, let's say I think
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  about a Shen. Second of all, we handle this
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  better. Teachers, cheaper tuition,
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  better, friends better, this better outcome.
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  I don't know, save for a vibe. You name it, it's a million
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  ways. And where you end up, you
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  usually end up with a gridlock, deadlock.
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  You don't know where to go. How do you get past that?
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  You make a decision. As you're telling.
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  You make a decision and you throw it out of Hashem.
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  When you say God, I'm making decisions.
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  You make it right. I don't know if it's right.
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  I don't know if it's right. The end of the day, you don't
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  know the outcome. You don't know which kid is
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  going to be in that class. Can be a problem.
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  What can be great, which teacher can be a star teacher, could be
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  a difficult teacher. Have no idea.
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  All right, There's no way. No.
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  You know what's going to change. Which principle going to change,
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  which rabbi's going to change, which situation you take.
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  You had absolutely no clue. Same as true with the house.
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  Should I rent that house? Should I push myself a little
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  bit to rent a little more or not?
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  You don't know. It's going to be the best thing
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  ever. The neighbor's going to be
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  awesome. See, the worst thing because
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  you'd be a gas leak. Who knows?
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  You don't know. So you make a decision.
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  Three steps. One, Hashem Hashem barsham, 2
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  Ballard. You weigh analyzing it to be 3.
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  Eventually you breakthrough, you make a decision, you go now some
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  people always decisions in the affirmative.
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  They just say yes. Some people decisions always
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  freeze. It's hard to know.
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  It's extreme to know how you go about this things.
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  I have an information in certain areas.
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  I end up going a certain way when it comes to certain areas.
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  When it comes to other years ago, a different one, right?
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  That's my nature. I'm not saying it's a good thing
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  or better than just a nature and you have to make a decision.
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  You have to figure out that balance, but you have to
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  structure your life according to these words, structure your life
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  with these three steps. Every single debate, God put him
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  first. Is it going to make him happier?
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  Is he going to make his world with his world more glorious?
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  2 Now, by the way, it might make his world more glorious if I am
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  more sane and I am more Peace of Mind.
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  And you can figure out too if I can, you know, connect to him
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  better one way or another because I am calmer.
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  Even other decision. Should I take that job?
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  Should I take the job or not? I never the I don't know job
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  changes. I give you somewhat of a
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  personal example without the details.
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  I at one point was teaching somewhere I left because of a
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  fake reason. Turned out to be addicted to
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  being now a real reason was the greatest thing ever happened to
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  me. So I made a decision based on a
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  fake upcoming job that I thought existed.
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  It didn't exist. Teaching, representing, it
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  didn't exist in the end, but it got me out of the first one,
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  which for me person was a great thing.
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  So what do you do with that Answer is you try to think about
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  God. You try to think about way you
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  think is better for you. The second opportunity for me, I
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  had much more upside. I was going to be this level
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  teacher than that level teacher than the principal.
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  The whole thing. It never happened, but it pulled
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  me out of the first job. That's a classic example of the
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  three steps you try to think about.
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  I'm not saying I did, but I hope I did.
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  You also weigh the odds. You deal with the balance and
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  then you make a decision and God carries you through your
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  decision and the outcome. Have nothing through each other.
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  Person wants to know where they should go on vacation, right?
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  Should you go to, should you go to Florida, right, Miami or I
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  don't know, Orlando? Same to the oddest decision to
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  come to group on that. Was it the most amazing
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  decision? Exactly.
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  And you know what 1000% good point.
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  And the truth is the factors involved, I don't have to do it.
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  The factors evolved didn't really fully play into the
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  outcome, which means all the factors evolved deal at times
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  during the winter. I understand the other times in
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  the winter was getting weaker right.
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  That's the main main factor was that at the time during those
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  years from that Ocean Ave. style of shore, it was getting weaker.
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  Now the old since built out, but in those areas still difficult
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  to build out fully. It's a very much a summer type
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  area. I think they have gotten
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  stronger since, but it was weaker at the time and it was
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  happening slowly. And so all the factors too.
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  And then but still he didn't think this outcome at all.
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  Everything. I think that seven of his kids
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  in classic example, my in laws, they don't want to, they don't
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  want to send a law that's that that's going to go to the deal
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  every other week and it's not happening, right?
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  If I was going to deal every other weekend, it wasn't going
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  to be the type. So that outcome, which means
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  that I married my in laws, my wife did was not part of the
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  plan, right? Same with my brothers, all of
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  them, the four brothers that got married after my parents moved
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  to Brooklyn, all married very Brooklyn in laws.
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  People are not interested in their children going back and
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  forth all different places. That wasn't the type.
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  A lot of them in factors played into it worked out.
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  Was that part of the plant? I don't think so.
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  I think I followed this all. Once you think about setting up
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  his children to be in the right spot or any of this stuff, or
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  the fact that they simply moved back to Brooklyn.
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  St. Diamond got jobs in Brooklyn
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  schools, which wouldn't have happened because we had this
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  much to do with Brooklyn. Literally.
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  I was in Brooklyn a couple of times in my life before we move,
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  a couple of times in my life, literally, and I remember
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  Brooklyn being that place where there's a lot of cars and we
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  drive and there's no parking. That was my mindset.
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  That's true, but that's what I thought of it.
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  I didn't know much else. Caine Division, my aunt and
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  uncle lived here. That's it.
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  That was the whole extent of it a couple of times and yet that
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  became our world. Perfect example.
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  Try to think about how to ship, try to wait.
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  You balance it and make a decision and then you don't know
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  turning back. The big item is no turning back.
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  And even if it doesn't work out, you still don't have the I told
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  you so mentality. You still don't carry the
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  regret. Regret is very much also what
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  you'd sign up. The answer at all sometimes
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  pushes you to make moves fast. We said it and the answer at all
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  is greatest gift is regret. Why is he so happy with regret?
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  Because I only can destroy your decision.
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  You can destroy everything all the outcome.
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  It's nothing. It becomes a 0.
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  Guilt and regret are some of the worst in the person to have.
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  So you make a decision, make a son Hashem and you go on and
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  then hopefully God turns into the outcome that you aren't.
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  I'll stop this.