Latest / DA CREW Podcast / DA CREW PODCASTSEASON 1_ EPISODE #47 HOST MINISTER ALMA THOMAS_(SHOW #8)

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DA CREW PODCASTSEASON 1_ EPISODE #47 HOST MINISTER ALMA THOMAS_(SHOW #8) · DA CREW Podcast

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Bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo
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mhm U need to the all new Live Again podcast show with your host,
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Amma Thomas. For God so love the world that it gave his only begotten
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son, that who should ever shall believe, shall not purs behalf lever.
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That's team m Good evening, Good evening. I would like you to first
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join me and a word of prayer. Dear Heavenly Father, take over the
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airways on tonight. Let somebody be saved, delivered and set free by the
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testimonies that they here on tonight we magnify with your name. We love you
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in Jesus's name. Amen, Welcome to the Cock the Crew Podcast, episode
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number forty seven with your host, Minister Alma Thomas, the host of Live
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Again Inspirational Moments by Profitans Tay. Tonight, we would like to welcome Denesia
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Morten to our platform as she shares a story of depression the triumph tonight with
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us. Then, once again, thank you Facebook listeners for listening live and
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those of you who are gonna catch the replay, thank you also. So
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now at this time, I would like to welcome to the stage our guests
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Deniesia more in Hello everybody? Hello? How are you doing? I am
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doing well? Thank you? How about you? I'm doing well. God
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is good. God has been welsome in my life, and I'm doing well.
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Can you tell us a little bit about yourself on tonight? Sure?
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Where do I start? Hello? I'm a single mom. I have adult
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three adult sons, and they are the best thing, the best gifts I
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could have ever received. I am a singer, author, speaker, and
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a coach, and my goal is to reach out to women who are overcoming
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trauma. I want to help them tell their story, their way and give
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them back their voice. What else? I've written a whole bunch of books
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and am still writing. I've written songs, and I just like doing a
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whole lot of things. My entire goal is to do everything God has created
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me to do before Jesus comes. And I don't want to leave any stone
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unturned. And man, we don't want to die with our purpose inside of
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us. So I've been looking over your your books and I see that,
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Um, you wrote a book about depressing. What has fired you to right?
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That's story one depressing. I was having a conversation with my godmother and
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this is after I wrote Count It All Joys, the count It All joy
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series, and I'm practicing the changing my mindset thing. And no matter what
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I said to her, because she was talking about the doctor's report, and
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I was like, I know what the doctor is saying, and I get
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that it couldn't seem you know, dim and dark, I said, but
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God says, and you know, and I was telling her what God said
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about how we are healed and how it doesn't matter what the world says.
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He gets the final say and even if you still get to be with him
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and you still win, so no matter what, you haven't lost anything.
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And no matter what I said, and she found a way back to a
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depressive state. It was like she was fighting for her right to be depressed.
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And she was like, I'm just being realistic. And I was like,
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well, God is not a fairytale, you know, He's real.
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That is realistic. His words an't real than anything we could ever say.
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You know, we can't say anything more real than what he can say a
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fairytale story of a superhero. And so when I was done, I was
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so frustrated and I realized, oh God, I sound like that, Like
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was that is that what I sounded like all these years when people would try
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to get me to look at what was good about something, I would focus
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on what was bad about it, because I didn't believe I deserved what was
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good. I even remembered something my brother said, Um, you just like
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the attention you get from being depressed, and it just all flooded me,
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and so I started to write about it. And when I wrote about it,
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I realized that I was addicted at one point to being depressed. And
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it was just something that I felt guilty if I was happy for even a
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moment, because oh my gosh, if I'm not depressed, then who's gonna
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have pity on me? So it became such an addiction that even when I
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didn't want to be depressed, I felt obligated to it, and I just
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kept writing it out and it was actually for DA means I don't go back
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that way more. I really catch it and I'm like, no, we
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don't have to do that. We can change what we're thinking about right here
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and do something else. So but that's what got me to write it.
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I just it was like someone turned on the light and I could see and
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I was like, oh, give permission. To not be depressed. I
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know that I've been through certain situations and in my life when I was depressed,
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when I was first diagnosed, when I had to stroke, I was
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really depressed. I had to really fight my way out of depression. And
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it's true, is what you think. I had to think on the things
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that I was still able to do. I had to accept the fact that
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temporarily I couldn't use my legs. It was just a temporary situation. Don't
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count it final. Don't make permited decisions while you were in a temporary situation.
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Like I was thinking about cause with wheelchair lifts and all causes. I
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said, but if you're thinking that way, you're thinking you're gonna be handicapped
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forever. You're saying that God has promised you the manifestation that you're gonna walk
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again, but yet you're making provisions for never being able to walk again.
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One thing, Um, do you know? Can children be depressed? They
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can. I was depressed as a child. That's where it started. We
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moved from New York to here, and it was a different world in New
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York. I had friends in New York, I had confidence in New York.
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It was just I was just freer moving here to Georgia where kids,
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um, your skin color really mattered, and kids which is meaner. And
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right after a while, I began to say the same things that other people
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were saying about me, because it was everywhere I went, whether I was
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at school, at church, it didn't matter. You begin to identify with
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what people were calling. Yeah, we started to because as we know,
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as we study depression and we study giving people power over us, that once
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we take our power back from them and we don't identify or answer to the
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names that they call us anymore than they of power lists. But while we're
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surrendering our power to them, then they feel they're powerful. Everybody's laughing,
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and that's why now children they used to be We used to be bullied and
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called names when we were young, but it didn't affect us because we as
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much as it does today because they have the internet. They can harass you
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on the internet. They can harass you from one spot, but it could
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be all over the world. So depression is really really high in the nation
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today. And as you said that you're in the church, have you seen
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the stigma that they put on mental illnesses and churches like they call it,
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Oh, you're possessed by a devil. If they want to put oil on
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you, slap you on your head three times and think you're gonna be normal,
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and then they'll tell you, oh, if you love Jesus, that
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you could be cured. And you know that you love Jesus with all your
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heart, but you're still having these thoughts about taking your life. You're still
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having these moments in the morning when you can't get up, when you don't
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want to get out of bed, you don't want to talk to people,
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and you're wondering what is wrong with you that a little oil can help you.
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And you see that we are diagnosed with other um illnesses like high blood
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pressure. They don't feel okay, don't take care of you'll need your blood
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pressure build. But when you're um, prescribe medication for anxiety, depression,
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schizophrenia and things of that sort. The Black Church, a lot of classes
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aren't um educated in that in that area. They can't they're not equipped to
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deal with that population of people. How do you feel about mental illness in
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the church? It Israel, and yes, God is a healer, but
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he also has resources. He may not heal instantly. In the blink of
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an eye with being bathed in oil, and the oil is only a representation,
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but the belief system has to be in you. So if you have
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to take meds for a while, there's nothing wrong with that. I didn't
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want to do it. I've tried it, but it made me feel numb,
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like I didn't have any emotion. I went from being over emotional to
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no emotion, and that wasn't good either. But so I started working on
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just changing the way I think about things. Now, I'm not saying everybody
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can just change their thoughts. They may need help. Please use the help.
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And don't you know, feel like because you're getting help, you don't
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love God anymore. That's not what the word says. We have ample resources
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for that purpose. Well, He's gifted us the power to know how to
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do these things so that we can heal ourselves. And yes, there are
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times where medication is required, but here's the thing, that's only temporary.
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I believe if you use the meds and do the work, you don't have
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to stay on it for your whole life, and it will help balance everything
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out. So especially, I think it also goes with diet still learning,
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so I don't know all the details, but I found that when I backed
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away from certain things, especially sugar chocolate, which is my favorite, I
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don't struggle as much because I don't know if it's too much sugar messes with
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you like that or whatever. And I wasn't doing it for the mental part.
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I was doing it for the physical part, because I'm getting my whole
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body back together so that I can recognize myself. And I realized that I
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was happier when I wasn't loaded with all the junk food that I was eating,
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and I wasn't overstuffing myself with food and overstuffing myself with sodas and overstuffing
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myself with the things that I don't need all the time. And when that
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became the exception and not the rule, I felt better Mentally. I felt
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like I could think more clearly and focus better and stay on task. But
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please do not reject any of the help that's here. I have. Well,
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I had a therapist. I'm in the process of getting another one.
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So if it's needed, it's here for you. Use it for what you
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can use it, and get what you can get from it, because it
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is here to help you, not to degrade you. You are not retarded,
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you are not bringing shame to your family. You're not doing any of
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those things. You are only doing what you need to do to make sure
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you can be fully function and creative and do the thing that God has created
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before. And if you stay with it, if there will become there will
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come a time whenever like okay, we need to decrease. Okay, we
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need to decrease, and then you stop. But if you never stop,
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don't give up on you. Just because this is something that has become a
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norm. It is not unusual. It is not unnormal. It is okay,
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and it's okay to have bad days. That happens. We are human
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and we are I don't like the emotional roller coaster, but we have them
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and they go up and down and they twist and they flip and they flop.
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But again, we have resources available to help you if you can't handle
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all of the flipping and flopping on your own. So I don't have an
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issue. I do know that there are pastors who will try and bully you
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into it. Make sure it matches what God says. If what the pastors
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say is written in the words somewhere, then stick with it if it doesn't
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match what is in the word, because the ultimate thing is what does God
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say, then don't listen to it. Shake it off like water off the
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duck's back, and it doesn't apply to you because it only becomes like when
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you say it, it doesn't matter what other people say. It only matters
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what you say, say what God says you were good? Amen? Amen,
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I see that. And Um. Before I had my stroke, I
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was having um some mental health issues dealing with U the death of my son,
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and I had to realize that it's okay not to be okay, Like
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I had to have People are like, oh, you're so strong, we
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don't know how you're doing it, but they don't know. On the outside,
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I was had a strong exterior, but on the inside I was slowly
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dying until I realized that it's okay not to be okay and that I needed
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to talk someone. So then after I had to stroke, my anxieties was
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so high that they've had to put me one medication to calm down my anxieties.
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And I'm still like, it's okay, I'm still a minute stuff,
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I'm still anointing. I'm going through all of these trials and tribulations right now,
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right now, I'm in the valley, but God's still gonna bring me
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back to the mountain. And it's okay to have to take medication. It's
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okay to say, look, you know, I'm not myself today. I'm
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not okay because dealing with a stroke you go through a lot of different emotions
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that people that have not had a stroke don't understand. They don't understand how
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you forget sometimes, or how your body is so tired that you have to
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sleep in it like, oh, you sleeping all the time, But what
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the experts say is that when you're sleeping, that's when your brain is healing.
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So it's okay not to always be okay and be the strong one.
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But right now we're gonna take a reefcommercial break and we'll be right back with
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Denisia Morton. Amen. Hey man, you need to get your book reviews
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19:56
okay, Welcome back to Live Again podcast with my guests Denesian Morgan. And
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we've been talking about depression and the stigma that it has and the Black Church.
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But now we're gonna shift gears a little bit and she's gonna tell us
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what is counted old joy about the conference, the movement? What is that
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all about? Get you explain that to us? Sure, count it all
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joy, shift your focused, be consistent, and choose your words wisely.
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It's a three book series that happened when I was living in Memphis. I
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had just gotten there, he finally gotten an apartment and was frustrated because there
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was so much happening that seemed to be against me. And my first lady
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at the time was saying, well, Jennie, you got to remember to
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count it all joy. And I was like, with what, Like,
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how do I look at what's happening to me and stay joyful? Like there's
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nothing happening that makes me feel good, there's nothing happening that makes me feel
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like I'm worth anything. And I said fine. I said, Okay,
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God listen, I'm gonna give it three days. I'm gonna try and choose
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this joy thing for three days. If in three days, I'm still not
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happy. I don't hear anything else about my being sad because life just sucks.
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And that was the conversation. And the first day it was hard,
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and I was because I kept forgetting and I was like, no, no,
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I got to find something joy full to think about. And I went
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to work and they still couldn't find my check. I was the only check
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they couldn't find. Everybody else got paid and I was late on rent and
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I had just moved in. And then the second day, I don't remember
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what it was, but I cried through it. But it wasn't sad crying.
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It was like happy crying and fighting so hard not to go back into
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the sadness for that one moment. That that's why I cried. It is
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because I was trying to keep from going into a depressed day. And I
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was like, Okay, this is having a good My job likes me,
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they say I'm a heart worker. Oh the sun is out today, is
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so pretty. And I just kept focusing on what was good about the day
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instead of the negative stuff. And so the third day I felt like I
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had gotten my stride, you know, like Okay, I can do this.
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And then I was like, oh snap the third day, and then
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God said, I never told you you had to stop in three days.
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You gave me three days, remember, And I was like, right,
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my bad. So it's been something I've been doing since then. And then
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I wrote it down because I had to change what I was focusing on.
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I realized when I changed my focus, it was easier to choose joy than
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depression because my focus wasn't on the thing that would depress me. My focus
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was on the thing that got promised. When I was consistent, the more
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I did it, the easier it became. And so it wasn't just the
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once it once. You know, I tried it two days it didn't work,
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or I tried it for an hour and it's not working. So I'm
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gonna go back to doing what I do. And that's what I used to
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do. I would try something and give up because it didn't seem to be
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working at the time. But the more I did it, the more I
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wanted to do it. And then I had to change what I was saying
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because at that time I was the queen of saying anything negative. Remember how
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I told you my Godmother kept coming up with negative stuff that was me if
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you tried to pull me out of the fune. No it's okay. God
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must not like me. No, it's okay. Anything you said to try
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to get me to see the goodness of God, I would be like,
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no, I may not be included in that, or no, blah blah
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blah, all of those things would come out of my mouth instead of saying,
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you know what, I believe what God says about me. I believe
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I am who He says I am. I am more than a conqueror.
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I can do all things through Christ's through strengthens me. No, I would
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find a way to make it a depress that thing. So I had to
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change my mouth completely. And if I didn't have anything God said about me,
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I wouldn't say anything at all. Because I ended up losing that heartment.
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And when I realized I was losing it, I had a period where
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I was so frustrated because I worked my butt off to not lose it.
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But when I didn't know what to say, I said nothing. I didn't
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say anything at all. I just say God help, and I left it
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alone because saying nothing is better than cursing your life with what you feel at
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the moment. Those emotions only last for a second and then it shifts.
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So don't say anything in the height of any emotion, no matter how good
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you feel, no matter how badly you feel. If you don't know what
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to say and you can't say what God is saying, say nothing. I
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found that to be the most powerful thing I did for me because it helped
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me move even further away from relying on depression to be my source and starting
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to focus on the word that I say as my source as my source.
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I started looking for what does God say about this? Okay, I see
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this? What does God say about this? I know I feel like that,
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But what does God say? And I don't go by my emotion,
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but I go by what God says. If you say nothing and you just
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wait a minute, that emotion will shift and then all of a sudden you'll
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know what to say. But if you speak out of that emotion, then
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you'll spiral out of control. Like I think it was last Saturday, or
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a couple of Saturdays days ago, I slept, I spiral and I could
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not stop it. Like it was. Once you start, you start falling
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and you try to catch yourself, but you fall harder. So the whole
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thing is to not fall at all acknowledge. You feel it, but don't
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respond to it. Wait a minute, let it pass, and then you
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say what God says, or just say God, help me. I don't
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know how to handle this moment by myself. I don't know how to handle
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this emotion by myself. I'm still praying. I lost my best friend.
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I don't know how to deal with that by myself because I'm not used to
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her not being here. It feels weird. I feel empty, I feel
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naked, and it hurts like crazy. So you will have those moments where
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you don't know. Ask God for help. He will help you. He
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will give you everything you need. Holy Spirit is an amazing teacher. It
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is his job, it is his gift. He is awesome, and when
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you are clueless, you do that. But so out of that came the
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series Count It All Joy. And then I heard God say to a conference,
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and I'll say do what I don't do conferences. They'll let code come
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to hear me speak. And I was like, oh, my bad,
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I said the wrong thing. I said, I said the wrong thing.
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I'm sorry, And so I scheduled that for twenty two, but then I
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postponed it to this year. I said, God, I am an amateur.
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I don't know what I'm doing. I do know that I'm going to
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do my best to do the best that i can with it, and I
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pray people come in because I want to give people options outside of suicide.
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And I know people think that kids committing suicide now is a new thing.
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I tried when I was a kid. It's not that new. It's just
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that it wasn't spoken about or posted on social media, and it's real.
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And I want to catch people from making a permanent solution to temporary issues and
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get that a forward moving project. So what we're going to have is a
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group called cos it's called Circle of Growth Sisters, and we're going to turn
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like cocks and we're going to be each other's accountability partners, working on whatever
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our dream is, whatever promises we make to ourselves, we're going to make
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sure we keep those promises. What you say to your partners days between you
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and that partner. What happens at COGS stays at COGS, doesn't go out,
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and we do not share personal opinions or ideas about anybody. It is
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what's written on paper. This is the project they're working on ABCD. This
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is where we are. We shift, we change partners, and we move
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from there. Everything else personal is between you and that person and it will
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stay there. There is actually going to be a penalty for gossip because I
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don't like gossip. I don't want to hear gossip. I need you to
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focus on helping them get to their goals so they can see the light around
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the silver lining around the clouds, not worrying about what they say to you
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is going to be on eleven o'clock news or anything like. That's awesome.
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That's awesome forster An Encomera and in our other women to fulfill your dream and
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you don't want to feel like you're working at this all about yourself. And
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it's true what you said about the power of words. I remember when I
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was just to say, oh, this is a bad day. The taxi
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is late, the kids in the class are acting up. Ah, this
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is a horrible day. And then when I would change my thinking, I
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would say, thank you God, the taxi was late. You help me
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avoid an accident. You know. I would get all early in the morning
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and annoying every seat in my classroom and say we're gonna have a productive day.
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We're gonna be creative, we're gonna have fun. And that's what would
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happen. That's how my days would be because words have power. Once you
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tell yourself that you're having a bad day or that you can't do something,
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or that you're not worthy, that that's what your day becomes. So I'm
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really really at cited about your upcoming project. But listen, how can we
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read you and how can we be a part of this conference? Where is
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it gonna be? Okay, my social media, I believe is posted on
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the chat. I'm gonna post the tickets for the it's on event Bright.
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I have to get the link right quick. The group is called COGS.
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The name of the conference is called Count It All Joys, Shift your Focus.
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Um, God gave it to me to do one book at a time
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so that we can focus on one thing at a time and not be overwhelmed
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by all of it at one time. And I am working on either a
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Kanye's location or a sub subjectial location. Okay, but the location is to
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be announced um soon. Okay, so we keep m oh no not yeah,
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keep social media. I'm trying. You can find out when the conference
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is going to be September to twenty ninth through October. First. UM,
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I will have available counselors just in case one it's triggered or has any issues.
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UM, We're gonna have a vision party. Uh and now like scept
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just vision because people may not you may visualize or do theirs differently. So
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we're gonna have it to where you can paint, you can do uh,
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a vision board, you can do a vision journal, whatever it is.
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We're gonna have that available. It's going to be like different stations. And
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then at the end of it all, we're gonna get you recorded so that
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you can so you can say, hey, this is my vision for myself.
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It's a hybrid thing so to be both online and in person. I'm
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also going to have a stylist there to style your hair and do your makeup
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so that before you do your video, you're looking like yourself, feeling like
33:25
yourself, and you feel more confident about the fact that this is not just
33:31
a workshop that you're going to go home and say, oh, we had
33:34
a good time and then forget about it. No, our connections are intended
33:38
to be a lifetime connection, a lifetime support system because it doesn't really go
33:46
away. You just take control and you say what you're not going to do?
33:52
Drive my car. I drive my car, and eventually you won't be
33:57
a passenger, But for now, I drive the car. Sit there,
34:00
you be quiet. So we're going to be a support system, one for
34:05
another. We're going to be accountable to one another, and we are going
34:09
to each one reach one so that we can share with the world that there
34:15
are options. You do not have to end your life. You don't have
34:21
to hurt yourself or anything like that. That was something else I used to
34:24
do, and it only served a temporary purpose. It never really fixed the
34:30
issue. So if we get our focus on the fact that we can do
34:36
the things we are afraid of, which is the reason why we feel the
34:40
way we feel, is because a lot of the times we don't feel like
34:43
we have value or we have purpose. So when we see that value and
34:46
that purpose, it makes you want to live more and makes you want to
34:50
do more. And we focus on that, and we don't focus on the
34:54
things that are happening around us, because that's going to happen regardless. I
34:59
compare it to when Peter was walking on the water. So long as he
35:01
focused on Jesus. He was good, I believe. The people on the
35:06
boat that was supposed to be his brother started saying things that distracted him.
35:12
For example, who do you think you are? You ain't Jesus? Why
35:15
because you walk on water now you think you better than us? Blah blah
35:19
bla blah all of us? When you ain't are you? You're thinking?
35:23
What you are? You about to drown that way right there, about to
35:27
take you out? You know, all that stuff. The people that we
35:30
care about the most say the worst things, sometimes thinking that they're being helpful
35:36
and they're not. And we listen to that and we start to look at
35:38
the winds and the waves around us, and then we begin to drown.
35:43
But he was smart enough to look back at Jesus and say, bro,
35:45
I've forgotten. So what I'm saying here is, don't listen to don't look
35:53
to your left, don't look to your right, don't listen to what's around
35:55
you. Keep your focus on what God is saying, and keep your focus
36:00
on what you know you can do through him. And it won't matter about
36:06
the waves. It won't matter about the ones of the storms. It'll own
36:09
matter that God didn't do it and so that seals it for you and you
36:15
go, I think we'll do it together. So that's how that works.
36:21
Hey man, that's awesome. And I would like to find out UM wants
36:25
to get off and find out more information about how you can be a part
36:32
of the clocks Um movement. And once again, I want to thank you,
36:37
thank you ever so much for spending time with us this evening and sharing
36:45
your story with us. UM, I really want I'm out and thank you
36:52
to the audience that is listening to the group. I ask the Alma Thomas
36:59
is your host and live again. Thank you, thank you, thank you
37:04
all for listening to the replay and we will see you in two weeks.
37:07
God bless and good night. Okay, mate Jesus