Latest / Inside The Moms Club / It's Not "All in Your Head' But Your Brain May be the Cure: Nicole Sachs

Transcript

It's Not "All in Your Head' But Your Brain May be the Cure: Nicole Sachs · Inside The Moms Club

• 0:13
  Speaker 1: Hi, Welcome to Inside the Mom's Club, where being a
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: mom is the coolest place to be. Here in the
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Mom's Club, we believe that what embarrasses you now will
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: make a great story later. And let's face it, you
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: don't laugh sometimes you're gonna cry. Join us in having
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: a good laugh together. I'm Monica Samuels. You are now
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: inside the Mom's Club, your private destination for all things mom. Welcome, moms,
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Inside the Mom's Club. I'm your host, Monica Samuels,
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: and I'm here with my very special co host today,
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: Lisa Morris, who is also my sister. So she is
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: co hosting today with me because she is going to
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: give you a little insight into into me. I've shared
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: many times on this show that I'm a wretched dancer,
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: but I don't think anybody knows that as well as
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: my sister. So so from on a scale from one
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: to ten, with one being you know, I'm not hardly
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: moving it's so bad, or no, I'm actually flailing around,
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: you can pick, but okay, ten being I should be
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: on Dancing with the Stars and win. Oh my, where
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: would you put me?
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: Well?
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: Because I'm a kind person, as you know, and modest
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: about it. I would probably give you a three.
• 1:38
  Speaker 4: Okay, how did you expect a higher score?
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: Well, well, when you said you were going to be kind,
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: I thought it was going to be oh okay, but
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: that's okay, that's okay, No, that's okay.
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: I mean I just was like having flashbacks to our
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: ballet classic that.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: It's true. So when we were young, I was really
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: talented in so many things, but not dancing so but
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: but our parents put in ballet, and Lisa was so
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: good that our teacher, what was her name, Missus Rosello?
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: How did you Missus Rosello? Because I because I blocked
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: it out because I was really, really, really bad, and
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: she was so good that whatever her name was, Missus
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: Rosiella was she was a Cuban exile, prima ballerino, and
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: she would need Lisa to be got to give her
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: a scholarship. She was that good. So I was really terrible.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: She was really good. Lisa always got to be in
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: the front row. I was always in the back row.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: And what did she have? That giant stick?
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, she used to slap and I don't even know why.
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: She was rough and so very funny. Because you Monica
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: could not do the splits, she couldn get near the wall.
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: And I was a bit smug because yes, I was
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: a star student. So I would be up there against
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: the wall like just like, and Mandica's back there, uh, struggling,
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: and Miss Rozella's got her stick, and she's pushing her
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: up against the wall.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: Well, not only that, she would get on top of me,
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: like I'd be trying to do the splits, and she'd
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: get above me and push my shoulders down like she
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: was gonna break my legs to get me to do
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: the splits.
• 3:10
  Speaker 4: No pay, no game.
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: Now.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: I had one great moment, I mean the probably the
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: best moment in the whole ballet class was when I
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: had injured my leg and I was in rehearsal, struggling
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: through it as always, and our teacher gathers everyone together
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: and she says, girls, girls, girls, girls, no one is
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: trying you. You are doing terrible. We have a recital comute.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: You're awful. Except for Monica. She is horrible, but she
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: is trying. So that was my highlight of my of
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: my ballet experience, but has scarred me truly. I mean,
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: I kind of think that has something to do with
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: why I'm a terrible dancer, you think, so I think
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: it might have I really feel like it could have.
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: To do with talent, a little bit of natural ability.
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: I mean, I'm not good at a lot of other things,
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: so I take my no.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: But you are good at that kind of stuff. So
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: now you're doing yoga, which I'm really bad at that too.
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: Sadly, Well, I made a New Year's resolution because and
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: usually you never keep them, but I've done it all month.
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: I have not stopped it because I usually said at
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: my desk so much that I think I'm going to
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: get deep deep vein throng bitis for never moving.
• 4:16
  Speaker 4: So I promised myself that I was going to do something.
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: So I joined yoga and zoomba with Gloria, and I
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: picked two things that i'd really love because I feel
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: like I'm pretty good student in there.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: Could you see me in zoomba? I can't even imagine
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: doing well.
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: Here's the thing, though, Gloria's moving so fast you don't
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: have time to look at anybody else and laugh at
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: her because you got to just worry about yourself.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: So I would just be on my own out there, So.
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: Yes, you would just get in the back row, no
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: one would know. Now, yoga's a different thing some of
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: these women. I mean, I'm like, I'm not doing that,
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: like stand on your head, do some crow posts.
• 4:50
  Speaker 4: When I came in the first day, she's like, do
• 4:52
  Speaker 4: puppy dog.
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: I'm like, I don't know what I'm doing. And yoga
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: teachers are different than dance teachers. So when you're in
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: a dance class, they stand at the fry and you
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: just do exactly what they're doing. But in yogo, she'll say,
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: all right, put your right hand up, and I'm but
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: she's putting her right hand up too, So then I
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: don't know if I'm doing it wrong or so.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: That some people already know, they seem to get it
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: though in the class watching one step off, well, I
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: commend you for doing that.
• 5:17
  Speaker 5: All right.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: Now, I'm currently trying to get back into exercise, but
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: I hurt my back. But it's a weird injury because
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: my back like randomly, in the middle of the day,
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: I will have horrible pain in my back and I
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: can't get rid of it, and then it goes away,
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: and then it comes back and the next day I
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: never know what's going to happen. And it's in one
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: spot on my back, and so I asked Julie, who's
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: my regular co host here, who's also a nurse, and
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: who knows I'm a giant hypochondriac too, so that she
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: always brus that in okay, yeah, on a scale of
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: one to ten, ten on that score very high on
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: hypochondric But I asked her, I said, what do you
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: think this pain is on my back that I can't
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: get rid of? And she said, well, you know that
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: could be a heart condition. Well, so now I have
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: anxiety too. So now I've got a back pain and anxiety.
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: So check your watch for your heart rate whenever your
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: back starts hurting.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: I should That's a good no.
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: I did that before when I had somewhat of an
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: anxiety attack. And then my heart rate kept coming up.
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: And then I called my husband on the golf course
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: and I'm like, you got to come home. I think
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: I need to go.
• 6:24
  Speaker 4: To the hospital.
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: I mean, my heart rate is up like to one ten,
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: and it's this watch is going crazy. And they just
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: told me to take a walk around the block and
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: you'd feel better.
• 6:33
  Speaker 4: It actually worked.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: Well, I'll tell you what. So we have we're very
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: lucky today, Lis because we have someone who's going to
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: help us cure all of that weird. I'm not going
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: to suffer through this any longer. She is the host
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: of the Cure for Chronic Pain podcast and the founder
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: of your Breakawake Community, and she has a new book,
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: Mind Your Body, a Revolutionary Program to release chronic pain
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: and Anxiety, which is being released actually tomorrow as we
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: record this show, And we please welcome Nicole Sachs. Welcome
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: to the Mom's Club. Oh well, thank you so much, Nicole.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: I hope in this brief time together, I'm gonna take
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: notes here because I think if I just follow everything
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: you tell me, I will fix a lot of these problems.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: Because see, I've got the whole enchilada. I've got the
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: pain and the anxiety that was brought on by some
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: nurse telling me that I probably have something else going on.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: So before I start there, can you tell the moms
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: how you got into this, why this was interested a
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: passion of yours that now you're writing books and counseling people.
• 7:43
  Speaker 6: Yes, I just have to say I relate to everything
• 7:45
  Speaker 6: you just said.
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: I am a.
• 7:46
  Speaker 6: Terrible dancer, and my daughter, my youngest daughter, is a ballerina.
• 7:52
  Speaker 6: In classical ballet six days a week. And when people
• 7:55
  Speaker 6: say where did she get it? And they look at me,
• 7:57
  Speaker 6: everyone like kind of looks away. So string connection to
• 8:02
  Speaker 6: everything that you just said. I was just like nodding
• 8:04
  Speaker 6: over here, Okay, get let's get down to business. So
• 8:10
  Speaker 6: I'm a mother of three. I love having conversations with
• 8:14
  Speaker 6: other moms because it is just my opportunity to bring
• 8:18
  Speaker 6: a lot of connection to what it is like to
• 8:21
  Speaker 6: be in the trenches having your kids and also trying
• 8:24
  Speaker 6: to keep a hold of having some sense of yourself.
• 8:27
  Speaker 6: But when I was nineteen, I was I was in
• 8:32
  Speaker 6: college and my back went out completely, so not like
• 8:36
  Speaker 6: sometimes and sometimes like I couldn't walk, And so I
• 8:40
  Speaker 6: was brought home from college, underwent all the tests. I
• 8:43
  Speaker 6: believe in doctors. I believe in getting checked out. Of course,
• 8:46
  Speaker 6: it's the first line you know that you have to
• 8:48
  Speaker 6: go through. And I was diagnosed with a condition called
• 8:52
  Speaker 6: degenerative spondylolis thesis. So it's a mouthful, but basically I
• 8:57
  Speaker 6: have an abnormality in my lower spine and I was
• 9:01
  Speaker 6: told at the time, you're otherwise healthy, so you don't
• 9:05
  Speaker 6: need to have spinal fusion surgery right now. But there
• 9:09
  Speaker 6: will be no more exercise, there will be no more travel.
• 9:12
  Speaker 6: You should be very careful about sleeping in certain positions
• 9:15
  Speaker 6: so you don't destabilize your back. And the likelihood that
• 9:18
  Speaker 6: you will have a biological child is slim to none
• 9:21
  Speaker 6: because at the time, the thought that the baby would
• 9:23
  Speaker 6: put so much weight on the front that I could
• 9:26
  Speaker 6: really put myself in a dangerous position for my back.
• 9:29
  Speaker 6: And so you can only imagine at nineteen to get
• 9:32
  Speaker 6: that kind of prognosis. It is pretty crazy, and it
• 9:35
  Speaker 6: was pretty dark. And you know, for whatever reason, call
• 9:41
  Speaker 6: it faith, call it curiosity, call it resistance. Because I
• 9:46
  Speaker 6: didn't want to get some crazy surgery. I opened my
• 9:49
  Speaker 6: mind to maybe this isn't the full story. You know.
• 9:53
  Speaker 6: I was in college studying psychology. I just had an inkling,
• 9:58
  Speaker 6: and as I moved through my teens and mid twenties,
• 10:02
  Speaker 6: I came upon the work of doctor John Sarno. I
• 10:05
  Speaker 6: don't know if you guys have heard of him, have you.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: I've heard of him, yes, But tell us a little
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: bit about him.
• 10:10
  Speaker 6: He's famous. He's the grandfather of mind body medicine, and
• 10:13
  Speaker 6: he's famous for teaching people how to understand that although
• 10:18
  Speaker 6: pain is not in your head. Okay, so your pain,
• 10:21
  Speaker 6: when you're feeling that extreme back pain, even though it
• 10:23
  Speaker 6: comes and goes, you are not making it up. You're
• 10:26
  Speaker 6: not overly sensitive, You're not hysterical. And even when you
• 10:29
  Speaker 6: said I'm a hypochondriac, I actually kind of want to
• 10:32
  Speaker 6: soften that word for people, because when you're scared of something,
• 10:37
  Speaker 6: you're scared. You know your perception is your reality. And
• 10:40
  Speaker 6: so although the pain is never in your head, the
• 10:43
  Speaker 6: solution is so rarely in altering your physical body. And
• 10:48
  Speaker 6: I understood that through Sarno's work and through working, you know,
• 10:52
  Speaker 6: through mind body medicine. There's so much to say. I
• 10:55
  Speaker 6: just want to say I always say it up front
• 10:58
  Speaker 6: so I don't forget. I had three bay I exercised
• 11:01
  Speaker 6: till the day they were born. I've traveled the world.
• 11:03
  Speaker 6: I can run five miles on the beach, and I
• 11:06
  Speaker 6: have never had a surgery, nor have I ever altered
• 11:09
  Speaker 6: my physical body. Because even though it made so much
• 11:12
  Speaker 6: sense that my abnormality, which was in the spot that
• 11:15
  Speaker 6: I was hurting, was the reason for my pain, it
• 11:19
  Speaker 6: never was. And now, through bringing this work to the
• 11:23
  Speaker 6: world for twenty years, I've finally gotten it down to
• 11:27
  Speaker 6: explaining the brain science why the brain and the nervous
• 11:31
  Speaker 6: system send pain signals, inflammation, muscle constriction and spasm and neuropathy,
• 11:37
  Speaker 6: et cetera into the body when we are in long
• 11:41
  Speaker 6: term fight or flight. So there's so much to say,
• 11:44
  Speaker 6: and I don't want to keep going on, so I
• 11:46
  Speaker 6: could like kind of make this a conversation, not a
• 11:48
  Speaker 6: wall of talking. But that's that's kind of the gist
• 11:51
  Speaker 6: of it.
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: I love it because and there's so much of that
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: now that we're we're learning about. Like, for example, one
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: of our sponsors is New Calm, and they they we
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: talk about how different parts of your brain. It's a
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: program that triggers different areas of your brain to create
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: to reduce stress, to help you sleep too. So we're
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: learning so much about brain science that people didn't recognize before.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: And how I mean, I just we're opening up a
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: whole new world and you're actually here a real testament
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: to the fact that this works. So let's drill down.
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: So first we're talking more about chronic pain or like
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: last week, I stumbled down, I fell down three stairs
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: and hit a wall and I was very injured for
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: a week and a lot of pain are we talking
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: about just pain or are we talking about chronic pain,
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: like you've got a chronic back condition, or you've got
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: fiber myalgia or something exactly.
• 12:44
  Speaker 6: Yes, okay, so this acute pain is part of life
• 12:47
  Speaker 6: right where I always say, we don't have an exoskeleton.
• 12:50
  Speaker 6: We are soft and chewy humans. We are going to
• 12:52
  Speaker 6: get hurt, and so acute pain is part of life.
• 12:55
  Speaker 6: There is no cure for human pain. There's a cure
• 12:58
  Speaker 6: for chronic pain because chronic pain is an epidemic of
• 13:02
  Speaker 6: fear and nervous system dysregulation. So indeed, this is about
• 13:06
  Speaker 6: chronic pain. I'll tell you some of the main things
• 13:08
  Speaker 6: I see migrains, irritable bowel and all sorts of gut issues, fibromyalgia,
• 13:13
  Speaker 6: long covid and all the symptoms of long covid. We
• 13:16
  Speaker 6: have miraculous, stunning success stories. And one of the things
• 13:20
  Speaker 6: I did in the book that I was very very
• 13:23
  Speaker 6: intent on is the end of every chapter is another
• 13:26
  Speaker 6: person's story in their own words. People from all walks
• 13:31
  Speaker 6: of life, all corners of the globe, all genders also
• 13:34
  Speaker 6: say economic status, like pain is the great equalizer. When
• 13:38
  Speaker 6: we suffer, we suffer the same. So this is about
• 13:41
  Speaker 6: chronic pain and a confused dance between your brain, your
• 13:46
  Speaker 6: nervous system, and your physical body that causes you to
• 13:50
  Speaker 6: get stuck in that fight or flight cycle, and the
• 13:52
  Speaker 6: pain signals are sent as a form of protection. So
• 13:57
  Speaker 6: it's a little bit wild when you start really learning
• 14:00
  Speaker 6: about it, but it is more scientific than surgery. It
• 14:04
  Speaker 6: blows your mind when you start to understand, which is
• 14:07
  Speaker 6: why I really boiled it down and put it in
• 14:10
  Speaker 6: the book so people could have it like bite sized
• 14:12
  Speaker 6: pieces because it's a lot.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: And you have you've developed three pillars, two that you
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: go through for this process. So the first one is
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: believe what is what is that?
• 14:24
  Speaker 6: So the thing about the three pillars, I look at
• 14:27
  Speaker 6: them like three legs of a stool, and we all
• 14:29
  Speaker 6: know if you have one leg of a stool lopped off,
• 14:31
  Speaker 6: it will not stand. So it's believed. Do the work
• 14:35
  Speaker 6: in patience and kindness for yourself. And you know, I
• 14:37
  Speaker 6: know we're sitting here talking to Mom's my goodness, are
• 14:39
  Speaker 6: we the hardest people on ourselves? You know? It's like
• 14:43
  Speaker 6: we want to do everything, we want to be able
• 14:45
  Speaker 6: to be there for our kids all the time. And
• 14:47
  Speaker 6: then we hear, well, you should also be taking care
• 14:49
  Speaker 6: of yourself, and we're like trying to do that, and
• 14:51
  Speaker 6: then we have families and sometimes we're also working. Like
• 14:54
  Speaker 6: it's just so much and so, but you asked about
• 14:58
  Speaker 6: believe believe is this your perception is your reality, like
• 15:03
  Speaker 6: I said, And so if you perceive yourself to be unsafe,
• 15:07
  Speaker 6: Let's say you're walking down the street and you see
• 15:09
  Speaker 6: a shadows around the corner and you think that looks
• 15:13
  Speaker 6: like the shape of a predator, of a person that
• 15:15
  Speaker 6: could jump out and hurt me. Your body starts to
• 15:18
  Speaker 6: prepare for either fighting, fleeing, freezing, or more complicated as fawning,
• 15:25
  Speaker 6: which is like super people pleasing, like you're going to
• 15:27
  Speaker 6: try to get yourself out of the situation, whether or
• 15:30
  Speaker 6: not there's an actual predator. Your body responds the same.
• 15:34
  Speaker 6: So if you get kind of further down the street
• 15:37
  Speaker 6: and you go, oh, my goodness, that's a bush. It's
• 15:39
  Speaker 6: waving in the wind, and it had threw off a shadow,
• 15:43
  Speaker 6: you will regulate. Your nervous system will regulate. It'll take
• 15:45
  Speaker 6: a minute, but you'll get back to understanding that you're okay.
• 15:49
  Speaker 6: But here's the problem. We live in a society in
• 15:52
  Speaker 6: twenty first century society of an onslaught of predators. Your
• 15:57
  Speaker 6: spouse is a predator because they walk in the room
• 15:59
  Speaker 6: and they're like, oh, why do they have that look
• 16:01
  Speaker 6: on their face. Your boss is a predator because they
• 16:04
  Speaker 6: speak to you in a way that just reminds you
• 16:06
  Speaker 6: of the way your mother used to criticize you. Your
• 16:08
  Speaker 6: children are predators. Your children are bloodthirsty predators, right, I
• 16:12
  Speaker 6: mean your children are just like need, need, need, and
• 16:18
  Speaker 6: constantly making you feel like you're not doing enough. And
• 16:21
  Speaker 6: it's not their fault, but it's just the way they are.
• 16:23
  Speaker 6: I've raised three of them, and so it's just about understanding.
• 16:28
  Speaker 6: Believe is kind of two things. It's marinating in the material.
• 16:31
  Speaker 6: As you mentioned, I have a podcast called The Cure
• 16:34
  Speaker 6: for Chronic Pain. Since twenty eighteen, I've almost never missed
• 16:37
  Speaker 6: a week, so hundreds of episodes of topics, of interviews
• 16:42
  Speaker 6: with people hearing stuff in their own words. So that's
• 16:44
  Speaker 6: part of belief. Like we are raised in the Western
• 16:47
  Speaker 6: medical model. Okay, we're raised to take a pill, We're
• 16:50
  Speaker 6: raised to have a surgery. We're raised to have a
• 16:51
  Speaker 6: procedure or maybe an alternative procedure. As soon as anyone
• 16:56
  Speaker 6: says that your emotions or trauma could be involved in
• 16:59
  Speaker 6: your physical People tend to be like, oh no, no, no,
• 17:02
  Speaker 6: my pain is real, you know, don't tell me the
• 17:04
  Speaker 6: pain is in my head. So I have to start
• 17:06
  Speaker 6: with believe read about the brain science.
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 17:09
  Speaker 6: I have every study linked in the book. Like, it's
• 17:12
  Speaker 6: just about getting yourself to the place where you're regulated
• 17:16
  Speaker 6: enough and then you can do the work, which is
• 17:19
  Speaker 6: the second pillar.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's interesting when you talk about fight or flight too.
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: I deal with a lot of anxiety, not just the
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: idea that I might have a heart attack. That just
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: adds to it. But someone told me one way. So
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: when I'm on a plane sometimes I feel claustrophobic and
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: I want to get out, And that's the fighter flight,
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: like something bad is gonna happen. And someone told me
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: that you just take your finger your opposite side of
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: your body and you hit your you just start tapping,
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: like they have a whole tapping regimen now to reset
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: your body. Just what you're saying your brain is It's
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: not like I'm physically gonna die because I'm in That's
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: what I'm feeling. It's what my body is perceiving that
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: I'm going through exactly.
• 18:04
  Speaker 6: And here's a good metaphor that I feel like is
• 18:06
  Speaker 6: helpful for people. So if a building is on fire,
• 18:09
  Speaker 6: the fire alarm goes off, and the fire alarm is screaming.
• 18:12
  Speaker 6: The fire alarm is loud because the fire alarm needs
• 18:16
  Speaker 6: to get somebody's attention that there's a problem here. But
• 18:19
  Speaker 6: the fire alarm is not the problem. It's an indication
• 18:24
  Speaker 6: that there's a problem, but it's super loud. So picture
• 18:27
  Speaker 6: if the fire company came and they started dousing the alarm,
• 18:31
  Speaker 6: training their hoses at the fire alarm, so it's plastic,
• 18:34
  Speaker 6: it's ringing. The fire's over here and they're dousing the alarm.
• 18:38
  Speaker 6: They could do it from now until the cows come home,
• 18:40
  Speaker 6: and that fire alarm is never going to stop because
• 18:43
  Speaker 6: all it is is being triggered by the fire. So
• 18:47
  Speaker 6: what I like to explain to people is this overwhelmed,
• 18:51
  Speaker 6: this deep anxiety, these unexpressed you know, leftover stuff from
• 18:57
  Speaker 6: childhood triggers. There's so much to say. I explained it
• 19:00
  Speaker 6: all in the book. They are the fire. So what
• 19:04
  Speaker 6: we need to do is stop chasing the symptoms, stop
• 19:07
  Speaker 6: going for one more specialist or one more migraine pill.
• 19:10
  Speaker 6: Calm ourselves with the belief and the material, and they'll
• 19:14
  Speaker 6: put the hose toward the fire. So what I help
• 19:17
  Speaker 6: people do is lower this repressed emotional reservoir that keeps
• 19:22
  Speaker 6: kicking us into fight or flight. Because when we have
• 19:26
  Speaker 6: big feelings that have nowhere to go. I like to say,
• 19:29
  Speaker 6: it's like the first law of thermodynamics. Energy is neither
• 19:32
  Speaker 6: created nor destroyed. It's transferred from one form to the other.
• 19:36
  Speaker 6: So we have this big, deep, overwhelmed our body needs
• 19:39
  Speaker 6: to express it. For us, I teach people to go
• 19:43
  Speaker 6: in and stick a ladle in the reservoir through this
• 19:46
  Speaker 6: tool I've created called journal speak, which it sounds like
• 19:49
  Speaker 6: it's journaling. It's not regular journaling. It is an expressive
• 19:53
  Speaker 6: writing technique that gets into the stuff that's making us
• 19:57
  Speaker 6: feel like we're in danger.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: So that's part of the second pillar. Do the work,
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: and so that's the that's the journaling. And when I
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: was reading about that it In fact, when Lisa and
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: I were talking about ms. Rosa whatever her name was,
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: I blocked her out Rosella and I think, well, you know,
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: maybe that's part of the source of my inability to dance.
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: I mean, yes, I lack talent, but yes, it was
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: traumatic to be bad. It's something that bad and be
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: called out for it constantly and like almost assaulted for it.
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: I mean like she would literally get on me and
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: like try to physically make me do things. So it's
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: just like sitting down and is it writing out traumas
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: in your life? Like all of them, like people in
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: your life that might have caused you some sort of
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: trauma or explain journaling to us.
• 20:44
  Speaker 6: So okay, so I'm gonna is it okay if I
• 20:46
  Speaker 6: tell a little story? Sure, okay, because it's very apropos
• 20:50
  Speaker 6: for moms. When I was a young mom, so you
• 20:55
  Speaker 6: have to remember, I was told I would never have
• 20:56
  Speaker 6: these babies, and I overcame that I understood mind body medicine.
• 21:00
  Speaker 6: I had never done the work, I understood it. I
• 21:03
  Speaker 6: understood this whole, this brain science. So I had my
• 21:07
  Speaker 6: second he was ten months old, and he was toddling
• 21:09
  Speaker 6: around in one of those baby walkers, and we had
• 21:11
  Speaker 6: a deck and I was concerned that it was going
• 21:13
  Speaker 6: to go like there were like two stairs and it
• 21:16
  Speaker 6: was going to go over it. So I picked up
• 21:17
  Speaker 6: the walker and I went to put it down on
• 21:19
  Speaker 6: the driveway, and it felt like a hot knife was
• 21:22
  Speaker 6: dragging through my back. It was terrifying, and of course
• 21:25
  Speaker 6: I went into a shame spiral. I was like, I
• 21:28
  Speaker 6: should have listened to the doctor. I wasn't supposed to
• 21:31
  Speaker 6: have these kids, and now I've had them, and now
• 21:33
  Speaker 6: I'm in terrible pain. So I was in really bad
• 21:35
  Speaker 6: chronic pain for a year of my life. And I
• 21:38
  Speaker 6: actually ended up going in to see doctor Sarno in person.
• 21:41
  Speaker 6: This is years and years and years ago. I mean
• 21:43
  Speaker 6: the babies I'm talking about are now twenty two and twenty.
• 21:46
  Speaker 6: And he said to me, he explained the brain science,
• 21:50
  Speaker 6: and he said the best way to get at this
• 21:52
  Speaker 6: repressed emotional world is to journal. And I was like,
• 21:56
  Speaker 6: all right, buddy, I'm like, let me explain something to you.
• 21:58
  Speaker 6: I can't walk, I can't care for my children. Like
• 22:02
  Speaker 6: what do you mean journal about it? And he said,
• 22:05
  Speaker 6: I know it sounds too easy to be true, but
• 22:08
  Speaker 6: it's not. Because you will feel resistance. But if you
• 22:10
  Speaker 6: can get to what's really in there that you're resisting
• 22:14
  Speaker 6: and that's causing your nervous system to think that there's
• 22:17
  Speaker 6: a predator afoot, your back pain will go away. Now
• 22:20
  Speaker 6: I understand how nuts this sounds. So I sit down
• 22:23
  Speaker 6: and I start journaling, and there like I said, this
• 22:26
  Speaker 6: is I teach this. It's way too much talk about
• 22:29
  Speaker 6: one session, but I want to give people a taste
• 22:31
  Speaker 6: and inspire them that there is tremendous hope, specifically for
• 22:35
  Speaker 6: people whose pain is not something where like a doctor
• 22:39
  Speaker 6: is telling them we can fix this. This is really
• 22:42
  Speaker 6: for people who are often told you're going to have
• 22:44
  Speaker 6: to live with it, or there's a diagnosis but no cure.
• 22:48
  Speaker 6: I start journaling and I'm journally about motherhood and I'm like,
• 22:51
  Speaker 6: I'm really tired to babies and cribs, to babies and diapers.
• 22:55
  Speaker 6: This wasn't the plan because I wasn't you know, I
• 22:56
  Speaker 6: got pregnant. I wasn't planning on having two so close together.
• 23:00
  Speaker 6: And I just got this voice this whatever happens when
• 23:03
  Speaker 6: we have our little awakenings, and it said, you're lying,
• 23:06
  Speaker 6: and I was like, I'm not lying. This is my life,
• 23:09
  Speaker 6: and I just knew innately. I knew that this wasn't
• 23:12
  Speaker 6: the type of journaling that that was going to help me.
• 23:15
  Speaker 6: This wasn't what was in there. And I just got
• 23:18
  Speaker 6: really brave and I knew it. It was like in
• 23:21
  Speaker 6: there and it was rising and I wrote the first
• 23:24
  Speaker 6: line of journal speak ever penned, and the line was
• 23:28
  Speaker 6: I hate being a mother. And it was the most
• 23:32
  Speaker 6: shocking thing to come out of me, because first of all,
• 23:34
  Speaker 6: I'd wanted these babies since I was ten. I didn't
• 23:36
  Speaker 6: think I was going to have them. And I started
• 23:39
  Speaker 6: writing and I just was like, screw it, I'm just
• 23:41
  Speaker 6: going to tell the truth. So I start just ripping
• 23:44
  Speaker 6: through the pages and I'm like, I hate this. I'm
• 23:46
  Speaker 6: terrible at it, I'm failing. I have the wrong baby,
• 23:49
  Speaker 6: my daughter doesn't look like me. I'm just really writing
• 23:52
  Speaker 6: what you would imagine is ridiculous stuff. And then I
• 23:57
  Speaker 6: just went off on my parents, like they made to
• 24:00
  Speaker 6: verbal decisions and blah blah blah. Then I started I
• 24:02
  Speaker 6: went in on myself, you know, self loathing. What's wrong
• 24:05
  Speaker 6: with you? Why are you so weak? You should be
• 24:06
  Speaker 6: able to do this. But here's the magic, and I
• 24:09
  Speaker 6: really want to tell you it is. And by the way,
• 24:11
  Speaker 6: I am one story. There are hundreds of thousands of
• 24:14
  Speaker 6: people I've worked with over the years that are completely
• 24:16
  Speaker 6: symptom free. So this is like an incredible movement. I
• 24:20
  Speaker 6: realized something that in a million years. You could have
• 24:23
  Speaker 6: given me a lie detective test and I wouldn't have known,
• 24:25
  Speaker 6: which is I had a very lonely childhood. I was
• 24:28
  Speaker 6: an only child. My parents had a lot of issues.
• 24:31
  Speaker 6: They had a difficult marriage, they eventually divorced. We had
• 24:34
  Speaker 6: financial insecurity, and when I was very young, maybe ten
• 24:37
  Speaker 6: or eleven, I made a very quiet pact with myself
• 24:40
  Speaker 6: and it was one day, when you get out from
• 24:43
  Speaker 6: under these people, you will find the perfect partner, and
• 24:46
  Speaker 6: you will have the perfect children, and it will heal
• 24:50
  Speaker 6: the pain of that little girl. And I have chills
• 24:53
  Speaker 6: every time I say it, because it was the truest thing.
• 24:56
  Speaker 6: And I just wept for the fact that I had
• 24:59
  Speaker 6: no idea that the reason I hated it because it
• 25:03
  Speaker 6: was trying to do a job it was never gonna do.
• 25:07
  Speaker 6: Just because you have children and your own family is
• 25:09
  Speaker 6: not going to heal the wounds of the things that
• 25:11
  Speaker 6: have hurt you. And I had no idea. It was
• 25:13
  Speaker 6: such a sweet, compassionate moment. But I will tell you
• 25:16
  Speaker 6: the truth of the matter. I woke up the next
• 25:18
  Speaker 6: morning and my back pain was eighty percent gone, never
• 25:21
  Speaker 6: to return, and I said, I'm on to something, and
• 25:25
  Speaker 6: I journal spoke. I started creating this new language about
• 25:28
  Speaker 6: everything in my life. And when I was done, I
• 25:31
  Speaker 6: threw it out. Twenty minute rant I teach a huge structure,
• 25:36
  Speaker 6: throw it away, and then ten minutes of any kind
• 25:39
  Speaker 6: of meditation, whatever you consider meditative, even if it's just
• 25:42
  Speaker 6: a walk in the sun, to build a bridge between
• 25:45
  Speaker 6: the journals, speak, practice and getting back into your day.
• 25:48
  Speaker 6: And here's the magic, that reservoir that's overflowing and triggering
• 25:52
  Speaker 6: you into fight or flight. Every day you put a
• 25:54
  Speaker 6: ladle in, you dump it out. You dump it out.
• 25:57
  Speaker 6: Talk about parenting, talk about your partner, talk about your job,
• 26:00
  Speaker 6: talk about your parents, your self worth. I teach a structure.
• 26:03
  Speaker 6: But here's the deal. We're scared to say things because
• 26:06
  Speaker 6: if we say them, they'll be too true, or if
• 26:09
  Speaker 6: we say them, they'll ruin our lives. Or if I
• 26:12
  Speaker 6: talk about how I feel about my husband, I have
• 26:13
  Speaker 6: to leave him. It's such a misnomer. It's such a
• 26:16
  Speaker 6: misunderstanding because if a tree falls in the forest and
• 26:19
  Speaker 6: we're not there to hear it, it still makes a sound.
• 26:23
  Speaker 6: And those trees are falling inside of us, but we're
• 26:25
  Speaker 6: not wanting to hear them, so they're coming out through
• 26:28
  Speaker 6: our head, through our stomach, through our backs. It is
• 26:32
  Speaker 6: remarkable what happens when people become willing to do this work.
• 26:36
  Speaker 6: A it doesn't stay true. I have never loved parenting
• 26:39
  Speaker 6: more till after I realized that I thought I hated
• 26:42
  Speaker 6: it and gave myself that freedom. And here's another beautiful thing.
• 26:46
  Speaker 6: And then I'll shut up because I know I'm talking
• 26:48
  Speaker 6: a long time. It has very interesting.
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: It has.
• 26:52
  Speaker 6: So I have twenty two, twenty and seventeen girl, boy Girl.
• 26:57
  Speaker 6: I have parented them as human beings, as who they are,
• 27:02
  Speaker 6: not through the lens of my own pain, not through
• 27:05
  Speaker 6: the lens of my own needs. So my back pain
• 27:08
  Speaker 6: was the biggest, littlest part. What it gave me was
• 27:11
  Speaker 6: my life and my ability to raise these incredible people
• 27:16
  Speaker 6: that I get to be in New York City promoting
• 27:18
  Speaker 6: my new book that comes out tomorrow. I'm in my
• 27:20
  Speaker 6: oldest daughter's apartment. I just took my son and bottom
• 27:23
  Speaker 6: a pair of sneakers. They're my favorite people in the
• 27:26
  Speaker 6: world because of their relationship we have because I've done
• 27:28
  Speaker 6: this work.
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Well, and it sounds like I don't know
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: if you recommend this to your book, but I guess
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: you need to buy a really nice shredder, so you
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: just write journal.
• 27:37
  Speaker 4: And just so, yeah, that's what I was wondering.
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: So no one else was ever going to see this.
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: This is just for you to You.
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: Don't read this to someone, do you, because you say
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: you just need to do this, So this is work
• 27:47
  Speaker 3: you do on your own, right, Yes, and.
• 27:50
  Speaker 6: Here, well here's the thing. Some people say, can I
• 27:51
  Speaker 6: bring it to my therapists? And I say, listen, if
• 27:54
  Speaker 6: you want to bring this to your therapist, all power
• 27:56
  Speaker 6: to you. Just keep it safe. Journal speak as a
• 27:59
  Speaker 6: foreign language. You don't want people to read it who
• 28:02
  Speaker 6: don't understand.
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: Don't bring it to your mother, No, if.
• 28:06
  Speaker 6: Your mom's that type. I like to type it now.
• 28:09
  Speaker 6: I used to write longhand and yes, a shredder, or
• 28:11
  Speaker 6: burn it or just rip it into a public garbage can.
• 28:14
  Speaker 6: But I just type it on a document and when
• 28:16
  Speaker 6: I'm done, I just select all delete, never saved, never anywhere,
• 28:20
  Speaker 6: and just it's I had a client who once said,
• 28:23
  Speaker 6: it's like blowing your nose in a tissue. You don't
• 28:25
  Speaker 6: have to look at it again, you're just.
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: Getting it getting ripped. Is this more prevalent in people
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: like I'm more of a type a personality generally. I mean,
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: do you does this do you just start it's a
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: trend like this happens more in in people that are
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: more perfectionists or free and easy kind of people. Or
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: does it not a factor at all? It just could
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: happen with anybody.
• 28:45
  Speaker 6: Oh, honey, poor poor perfectionists, right, poor people pleasers? Yes, ma'am,
• 28:51
  Speaker 6: it is, first of all, it can it's everyone. This
• 28:54
  Speaker 6: is the human condition. So we're all banking these emotions.
• 28:57
  Speaker 6: It's just part of being alive. But yes, the people
• 29:00
  Speaker 6: that are most afflicted by mind body issues, which is
• 29:04
  Speaker 6: kind of all of issues, are people who are self critical,
• 29:09
  Speaker 6: hold themselves to an impossible standard, perfectionistic people, pleasers, codependent
• 29:14
  Speaker 6: you know, you need everyone to be okay for you
• 29:17
  Speaker 6: to feel okay. What's really amazing is as you move
• 29:20
  Speaker 6: through this work, you really are able to let a
• 29:23
  Speaker 6: lot of that stuff go. I used to be such
• 29:25
  Speaker 6: a perfectionist till I realized that perfectionism is just scanning
• 29:30
  Speaker 6: the landscape and looking for where I'm failing all the time.
• 29:32
  Speaker 6: It's not aiming for the best. It's actually always looking
• 29:36
  Speaker 6: for where I'm bad. And so I'm a recovering perfectionist.
• 29:40
  Speaker 6: But yes, that makes a lot of sense.
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: I wish I was one of those yes there, you
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: have one right there? So given that, how long does
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: it do you? I mean to get someone to follow
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: through and not say journal for a week and I
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: still have a chronic pain. How long does it take?
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: How much time you want people to give this say yes,
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: this is working for me? Is there? Or don't give
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: up that fast? I mean I shouldn't say it's going
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: to take you.
• 30:09
  Speaker 6: You're hitting all the high points, my friend. So here's
• 30:12
  Speaker 6: the deal. You can't watch the clock because this is
• 30:14
  Speaker 6: a little magical thing that I think people don't always realize.
• 30:18
  Speaker 6: Desire to be different than you are is read by
• 30:22
  Speaker 6: your nervous system as fear. When we have urgency in life,
• 30:27
  Speaker 6: Oh I have to have that happen or this has
• 30:29
  Speaker 6: to go a certain way. What our nervous system heres
• 30:32
  Speaker 6: is danger, danger danger. What if it doesn't go that way?
• 30:34
  Speaker 6: So I say you don't watch the clock you I
• 30:38
  Speaker 6: mean I also spend the first third of the book
• 30:40
  Speaker 6: explaining all the things that might jump up in your way,
• 30:44
  Speaker 6: all the resistance that's going to come, that's going to
• 30:46
  Speaker 6: speak to you in your own voice. It's going to say, oh,
• 30:48
  Speaker 6: do it tomorrow, do it later. You're too tired, you're
• 30:51
  Speaker 6: too busy. This isn't going to work for you. We
• 30:53
  Speaker 6: deal with that because resistance is just another for it's
• 30:56
  Speaker 6: just a headache. It's just another way for your nervous
• 30:58
  Speaker 6: system to say, look away, look away, I don't look
• 31:00
  Speaker 6: at that dark stuff. But had I never said I
• 31:03
  Speaker 6: hate being a mother in that fateful day, I never
• 31:06
  Speaker 6: would have known that I don't hate it at all.
• 31:08
  Speaker 6: I never would have known that I was trying to
• 31:10
  Speaker 6: heal the wounds of a sweet little girl. And had
• 31:12
  Speaker 6: I never known that, first of all, I probably would
• 31:14
  Speaker 6: have been living in chronic pain my whole life. But
• 31:16
  Speaker 6: forget that, I wouldn't have known how to parent other
• 31:20
  Speaker 6: than the way I was parenting, which is a lot
• 31:22
  Speaker 6: of desperation and urgency. So what I want to say
• 31:25
  Speaker 6: is that there's no timeline. I like to say the
• 31:28
  Speaker 6: slower you go, the quicker you get there, meaning the
• 31:30
  Speaker 6: less urgency we send to the nervous system, the more
• 31:33
  Speaker 6: we say, uh, okay, left foot, right foot, breathe, You
• 31:38
  Speaker 6: do the practice, you delete it, You sit for a
• 31:41
  Speaker 6: few minutes of meditation, you enter into your day and
• 31:44
  Speaker 6: you just trust the process and then you let your
• 31:47
  Speaker 6: body be your proof. You watch your pain move around.
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: You don't have to come and go, and you don't
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: have to have this just for pain. It also could
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: be anxiety, like we're here, we're recording our show in
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: lass Angelus, and these people have been through a lot.
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: If you can imagine not knowing that I live there. Okay,
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: so you're totally good. So it also works just if
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: you're under like the anxiety has become too much, you
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: could do the same method that you're talking about through
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: your book and relieve a lot of that two percent.
• 32:16
  Speaker 6: I mean, the book itself is to release chronic pain
• 32:20
  Speaker 6: and anxiety. Because what I find in my work, and
• 32:22
  Speaker 6: I've been doing this, I did. I was in private
• 32:24
  Speaker 6: practice for eighteen years and then I close my practice
• 32:27
  Speaker 6: in twenty eighteen in order to like my podcast and
• 32:30
  Speaker 6: YouTube and writing. So I don't work one on one
• 32:33
  Speaker 6: with people anymore. But when I have thousands of people
• 32:36
  Speaker 6: in these communities that I deal with every day, sometimes
• 32:39
  Speaker 6: people have terrible let's call it migraines, and they're doing
• 32:42
  Speaker 6: this work and the migraines go away. They truly go
• 32:45
  Speaker 6: away completely, and then they say, Nicole, I am anxious
• 32:48
  Speaker 6: day and night. I feel like I'm up to here.
• 32:51
  Speaker 6: I'm like panicked, And I say, perfect, this is a celebration.
• 32:56
  Speaker 6: You have it on the run and it's on the
• 32:58
  Speaker 6: way out. Just stay calm and centered and keep doing
• 33:01
  Speaker 6: the work. Anxiety and the physical experience of anxiety are
• 33:06
  Speaker 6: interchangeable with so many forms of pain because it's all
• 33:11
  Speaker 6: this nervous system just regulation. So I stand as a
• 33:15
  Speaker 6: cheerleader as an inspiration and to tell you, listen, is.
• 33:20
  Speaker 4: This book for sorry? This is going to ask you.
• 33:23
  Speaker 3: This book was in like Layman's terms, like very easy
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: for I mean, you have a lot of research in
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: this book. If I recommend it to someone, is it
• 33:32
  Speaker 3: something that simple steps that they can follow very easily
• 33:36
  Speaker 3: and they won't get wrapped up too much.
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: I was always better in school than she was.
• 33:41
  Speaker 3: Yes, yes, you know when they have chapter book, that's
• 33:44
  Speaker 3: when I was over there, going I'll go for the
• 33:46
  Speaker 3: chapter book.
• 33:46
  Speaker 5: I'm not.
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: It's good for every mom out there. You don't have
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: to feel like you need a science degree. I guess
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: to go.
• 33:52
  Speaker 6: I mean, I'll tell you the one the biggest compliment
• 33:55
  Speaker 6: I ever get is the word relatable.
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: Okay, it's good.
• 33:57
  Speaker 3: That's a perfect it's relatable.
• 34:00
  Speaker 6: It's me talking, so it's going to sound just like this.
• 34:02
  Speaker 6: The scientific studies are honestly because some people are science
• 34:05
  Speaker 6: wants and good like, if you need that, it's in there.
• 34:09
  Speaker 6: But honestly, more than anything, it's like, let's just cut
• 34:13
  Speaker 6: the crap and get well.
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: I love I love that.
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: Well.
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: We have some we have some moms who have some
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: questions for you, and they are our zoomer moms. So
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: welcome zoomer moms. Welcome to the Mom's Club. We have
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: on one's zoomer mom and one zoomer daughter today, so
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: let me introduce first the zoomer moms. Tell us a
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: little bit about yourself first, and if you have a
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: question for Nicole first. Kimberly, welcome to the Mom's Club. Hello.
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: My name's Kimberly.
• 34:42
  Speaker 5: I have two little girls. So my youngest is eight
• 34:47
  Speaker 5: months old and my older one is two and a half.
• 34:50
  Speaker 5: It's it is so intense, it's never ending. I'm trying
• 34:57
  Speaker 5: to think what my question would be, like, how how
• 35:05
  Speaker 5: soon did you think you started seeing results when you
• 35:07
  Speaker 5: started doing your journaling? And then I guess the other
• 35:12
  Speaker 5: question I would have with the any advice for having
• 35:16
  Speaker 5: two girls and just you know, having them get along
• 35:21
  Speaker 5: with each other and things like that. Yeah.
• 35:25
  Speaker 6: Well, the first thing I'll say is people see all
• 35:29
  Speaker 6: different timelines for results. So that's why I say, like
• 35:32
  Speaker 6: the best I know. Everyone hates my answer, like people
• 35:36
  Speaker 6: want to know like, oh, four to six weeks, you know,
• 35:38
  Speaker 6: and I totally get it. But all I will say
• 35:41
  Speaker 6: is what, however you identify, whether you identify someone with
• 35:45
  Speaker 6: any sort of chronic condition, or whether you're just like,
• 35:48
  Speaker 6: oh I'm so tired, I'm fatigued, or I don't have
• 35:50
  Speaker 6: enough joy for life. This is such a tool because
• 35:54
  Speaker 6: when you're not spending so much energy holding down that
• 35:58
  Speaker 6: which you would rather not think of out, you're freed
• 36:02
  Speaker 6: up in so many ways. So I just want to
• 36:03
  Speaker 6: inspire you, like, whatever it is that you're dealing with,
• 36:06
  Speaker 6: even if it's just overwhelmed with two young kids, this
• 36:09
  Speaker 6: will help you. And it's such a great way to
• 36:12
  Speaker 6: model as your kids get older, taking care of yourself,
• 36:15
  Speaker 6: pausing and taking care of yourself and mom to mom
• 36:19
  Speaker 6: For siblings, I mean, god, you know, it really depends
• 36:22
  Speaker 6: on their personalities. Anyone who has more than one kid
• 36:25
  Speaker 6: knows that nature and nurture are both real. Like three kids,
• 36:30
  Speaker 6: and they are so different from each other, and like
• 36:33
  Speaker 6: different pairings of them get along, you know, and when
• 36:36
  Speaker 6: all three of them together sometime kids a child, I
• 36:39
  Speaker 6: just try to stay centered and not be the problem. Okay,
• 36:41
  Speaker 6: so that would be my best thing. Don't have an
• 36:44
  Speaker 6: adult temper chantrum?
• 36:45
  Speaker 3: Can you help?
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: It's very good advice.
• 36:48
  Speaker 6: When they're going at it, just being able to be like,
• 36:52
  Speaker 6: stay centered and then do what you need to do.
• 36:54
  Speaker 6: Draw boundaries, hold your boundaries. Oh my goodness, when you
• 36:58
  Speaker 6: say something, be your word. That is very helpful.
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: Good, good advice. Good night, Cindy, Welcome to the Mom's Club.
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: Tell us a little bit about yourself and you have
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: a question.
• 37:08
  Speaker 7: Hi, I'm a mother of a fifteen year old boy,
• 37:13
  Speaker 7: and I'm retired from the airline industry. And with the
• 37:18
  Speaker 7: recent events of the fire being so tragic, the hurricanes,
• 37:23
  Speaker 7: the flooding, and the recent regional crash in DC, I've
• 37:30
  Speaker 7: noticed with conversations with some girlfriends, some PTSD that's come about.
• 37:38
  Speaker 7: So my question for you would be what would you
• 37:41
  Speaker 7: recommends as a psychotherapist? And now with your incredible book,
• 37:46
  Speaker 7: that's coming out. I cannot wait to read it. Some
• 37:49
  Speaker 7: things we could do immediately to help work through socially
• 37:54
  Speaker 7: together to help each other with that with PTSD.
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: That's a great question, because that is the other day.
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: My husband texted me from a plane going into DC
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: after that crash, and he said, pray for me. We're
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: about we're on our descent. And I thought that that's
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: real and the fires and everything else. So that's great question.
• 38:12
  Speaker 6: Oh, it is a great question. And by the way,
• 38:14
  Speaker 6: I am from West LA and thank god our house
• 38:16
  Speaker 6: is fine, but we have many, many friends who lost everything.
• 38:19
  Speaker 6: So I'm really relating to everything that both of you
• 38:21
  Speaker 6: guys are saying. So here's the best thing I can
• 38:24
  Speaker 6: say to you, Cindy. Community is everything. What I have
• 38:28
  Speaker 6: found is that so many people suffer alone. They just
• 38:33
  Speaker 6: don't make that one little extra effort to reach out
• 38:36
  Speaker 6: and connect with people, because when you know that you're
• 38:39
  Speaker 6: in it with somebody else, it just makes everything easier
• 38:43
  Speaker 6: to bear. I got on a plane the day after
• 38:46
  Speaker 6: because I had to come out to New York for
• 38:47
  Speaker 6: this book launch. The day after that that crash, and
• 38:49
  Speaker 6: then of course the next morning was that terrible helicopter
• 38:53
  Speaker 6: accident in Philly, Like it was so much was going on,
• 38:56
  Speaker 6: and I just reached out to my people and I
• 38:58
  Speaker 6: was like, can we take a moment and just like
• 39:00
  Speaker 6: sit together on this? And it sounds silly and it
• 39:02
  Speaker 6: sounds like it might not matter, but I have to
• 39:05
  Speaker 6: tell you, we can't change what's going on in the
• 39:07
  Speaker 6: world right The only thing we can change and control
• 39:10
  Speaker 6: is our own behavior and our next right considered action.
• 39:14
  Speaker 6: And I think of that as like, Okay, what do
• 39:16
  Speaker 6: I need right now? Am I feeling like I need
• 39:19
  Speaker 6: just a moment of alone time, pause and ask for it?
• 39:22
  Speaker 6: Am I feeling like I just need to call my
• 39:23
  Speaker 6: best friend and be like, oh, can we just like
• 39:26
  Speaker 6: have a minute. I also have these online communities that
• 39:29
  Speaker 6: I meet with on Zoom twice a month, and I
• 39:33
  Speaker 6: go on to the boards and I'm like, how's everybody like,
• 39:36
  Speaker 6: let's offer some support, simple human connection. It's what we
• 39:41
  Speaker 6: have and it goes further than people realize. Thank you.
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: That's great. Janine, Welcome to the Mom's Club. Tell us
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: a little bit about yourself and you have a question.
• 39:52
  Speaker 3: Hi, I am a mother of a thirty four year
• 39:56
  Speaker 3: old daughter.
• 39:56
  Speaker 8: She is an only child, and so I'm my husband
• 40:01
  Speaker 8: and I are empty nesters and been that way for
• 40:05
  Speaker 8: quite some time. And at this stage in life, we're
• 40:09
  Speaker 8: moving through generation generational issues, losing our parents, starting to
• 40:14
  Speaker 8: lose friends, and just going on through other personal things
• 40:20
  Speaker 8: that I would put in the category of what you
• 40:24
  Speaker 8: experience on this side of life. And I'm curious about resources,
• 40:31
  Speaker 8: how a person, a person who's moving into their senior
• 40:35
  Speaker 8: years can tap into your resources from that perspective, and
• 40:40
  Speaker 8: I think one seems what seems to be a common
• 40:45
  Speaker 8: thread between a lot of people that I know is
• 40:50
  Speaker 8: sometimes you can have issues with coping and that feeling
• 40:53
  Speaker 8: of anxiety or panic and you can't quite put your
• 40:59
  Speaker 8: finger on it, and it's just this welling up emotion
• 41:04
  Speaker 8: that you're not in control of the rest of these years.
• 41:07
  Speaker 8: You know, there's just a huge shift. How do you
• 41:11
  Speaker 8: help to address people on my side of life?
• 41:15
  Speaker 6: First of all, Jeanine, there are so many people in
• 41:17
  Speaker 6: my communities that are like sixty seventy five people in
• 41:22
  Speaker 6: their eighties who are first coming to this work, who've
• 41:24
  Speaker 6: never even been to therapy, who never even did any
• 41:27
  Speaker 6: sort of self examination. Because it just depends, like how
• 41:30
  Speaker 6: you know, the soil in which we were raised. So
• 41:31
  Speaker 6: first of all, I just want you to know tons
• 41:34
  Speaker 6: of people in my community. So this is a great question.
• 41:38
  Speaker 6: Here's what I'll say. And I'm sure you guys have
• 41:40
  Speaker 6: all experienced this. You know what you feel like, you
• 41:43
  Speaker 6: don't know what's wrong, so you feel like everything is
• 41:45
  Speaker 6: wrong and it just overwhelms you and it almost feels
• 41:48
  Speaker 6: like a panic, like, oh, nothing feels right. That's why
• 41:51
  Speaker 6: the journal speed process, Janine, I cannot tell you how
• 41:54
  Speaker 6: powerful it is. You just you say, you put your
• 41:57
  Speaker 6: resistance aside. You know you could do all the directions
• 42:01
  Speaker 6: are in the book. You sit down and you say, okay,
• 42:03
  Speaker 6: I'm going to do this. Then you start your journal
• 42:05
  Speaker 6: speak process and then you start to journal something out
• 42:07
  Speaker 6: and you go, oh my god, it felt like it
• 42:10
  Speaker 6: was really wrong. That felt like it was the thing.
• 42:12
  Speaker 6: I see what's going on here. I see why that
• 42:15
  Speaker 6: felt so dangerous. That's not really it. And then you
• 42:17
  Speaker 6: get you go through. You just take the time to
• 42:22
  Speaker 6: give yourself that gift, and what happens is you're gonna
• 42:25
  Speaker 6: come upon something. You're gonna go that's it, And maybe
• 42:28
  Speaker 6: it isn't really as big as you thought. Maybe it
• 42:30
  Speaker 6: is something like what I thought, which is I thought
• 42:32
  Speaker 6: I can't bear parenting and it was really my broken
• 42:35
  Speaker 6: little heart at eleven. And I had to figure out
• 42:37
  Speaker 6: what I was trying to accomplish with these toddlers who
• 42:40
  Speaker 6: are never going to heel the wounds of your childhood
• 42:42
  Speaker 6: anyone who has a toddler. And I was able to say, ah,
• 42:45
  Speaker 6: I see, and all of a sudden nothing felt wrong
• 42:50
  Speaker 6: and it is a magical process. So I invite you to.
• 42:52
  Speaker 3: Do it now.
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: That's great, Thank you. Now we have a zoomer daughter, Emily,
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: who's actually my niece. Welcome to the mom's club. Tell
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: us a little bit about yourself. I haven't heard you
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: had any children lately, but tell us. And then you
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: have a.
• 43:07
  Speaker 2: Question, Yes, so children, But I I'm Emily. I'm wondering,
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: after you received all of that really scary information from
• 43:18
  Speaker 2: your doctor and then kind of took an alternate path
• 43:22
  Speaker 2: to your healing, did you receive any pushback from people
• 43:26
  Speaker 2: in your life who maybe were like, why aren't you
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: listening to the doctor, or were people generally supportive of
• 43:33
  Speaker 2: your outlook on everything.
• 43:34
  Speaker 6: That's a good question, it's a fantastic question, and I'm
• 43:38
  Speaker 6: going to tell you Honestly, I think my family was
• 43:41
  Speaker 6: so panicked when I got that really dark prognosis at
• 43:44
  Speaker 6: nineteen that no one cared. They were like, go if
• 43:48
  Speaker 6: you think you can fix it, fix But it's an
• 43:51
  Speaker 6: excellent question because even though that didn't happen to me personally,
• 43:54
  Speaker 6: like I said, I have these communities people come to
• 43:57
  Speaker 6: me all the time, and that is a big one.
• 44:00
  Speaker 6: And here's what I'm gonna say. Malcolm Gladwell has this
• 44:03
  Speaker 6: concept of the tipping point and what the tipping point is.
• 44:06
  Speaker 6: If you're in a room of ten people and one
• 44:08
  Speaker 6: person says something, you're like, eh, it's that sounds really niche,
• 44:12
  Speaker 6: and that two people, now three, There's going to be
• 44:15
  Speaker 6: a point at which enough people believe something in the
• 44:18
  Speaker 6: room that it becomes the thing to believe. And Emily,
• 44:21
  Speaker 6: my hope as I embark upon this next phase of
• 44:24
  Speaker 6: my journey with this book is that we get to
• 44:28
  Speaker 6: the point where people are not telling others to continue
• 44:33
  Speaker 6: down a road that isn't working, because this is the thing.
• 44:38
  Speaker 6: If a pill was working, Hello, give it to me.
• 44:41
  Speaker 6: Do I want to sit and do deep emotional work? No, thanks,
• 44:44
  Speaker 6: I'll take the pill and go on my way. They
• 44:46
  Speaker 6: don't work. And I'm not saying no pills work. I'm
• 44:49
  Speaker 6: not anti medicine. But what I'm saying is what people
• 44:52
  Speaker 6: come to me and say, I have a ten out
• 44:55
  Speaker 6: of ten pain and my doctor says, I'm just going
• 44:57
  Speaker 6: to have to live with it, or you know, this
• 45:00
  Speaker 6: is my prognosis, and I'm doing all the things they
• 45:03
  Speaker 6: say and nothing's changing. It's time to open our minds.
• 45:06
  Speaker 6: It literally is time for a revolution. And this isn't
• 45:09
  Speaker 6: going to come from the top down. This is going
• 45:11
  Speaker 6: to come from millions of people just like you, guys
• 45:14
  Speaker 6: just like me, who make their own personal decisions that
• 45:17
  Speaker 6: they are willing to replace their fear and skepticism with curiosity.
• 45:22
  Speaker 6: I don't need you to replace it with belief, just curiosity.
• 45:26
  Speaker 6: I do see, because then your body becomes your proof.
• 45:29
  Speaker 6: And then you say, well, I'm feeling great, so I'm
• 45:33
  Speaker 6: on my way.
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: Well, every medical and health breakthrough started somewhere in the
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: history of u kaid, so this is the beginning of
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: that journey. You had one more.
• 45:46
  Speaker 3: I do have one more question from a mom's perspective,
• 45:48
  Speaker 3: because she always does this. Yes, I'm the world banker
• 45:51
  Speaker 3: and I ruin everything. Sorry, but my question is this?
• 45:53
  Speaker 3: So I have a daughter who since fourth grade she
• 45:56
  Speaker 3: wanted to be number one in her class and she
• 45:58
  Speaker 3: absolutely killed herself to be number one. And she has
• 46:02
  Speaker 3: so much stress in her job. She's constantly calling me
• 46:05
  Speaker 3: in tears because she wants to do everything they ask
• 46:07
  Speaker 3: her to do, which is totally impossible. And I mean,
• 46:11
  Speaker 3: I would love for her to try this, But how
• 46:12
  Speaker 3: would I approach her to say this? Because in her
• 46:14
  Speaker 3: mind she doesn't.
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: Have a problem. How do you get somebody else to do?
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: You see?
• 46:19
  Speaker 3: And I never put this on her, trust me. I'm like,
• 46:20
  Speaker 3: you don't have to be first. It's okay, I wouldn't
• 46:23
  Speaker 3: but it didn't seem to matter. It was just like
• 46:24
  Speaker 3: an internal thing. So what would be a way you
• 46:27
  Speaker 3: could introduce or is there a nice way to say it?
• 46:31
  Speaker 6: You know, listen, I like to say and they say
• 46:34
  Speaker 6: this about a lot of forms of recovery. My program,
• 46:37
  Speaker 6: my work is a program of attraction, not promotion, meaning
• 46:42
  Speaker 6: there's rarely a person where you're going to run them
• 46:44
  Speaker 6: down and be like you need this about almost anything.
• 46:47
  Speaker 6: You know, people are a resistant species. But if you're
• 46:50
  Speaker 6: off living your best life, or if she's complaining to
• 46:53
  Speaker 6: you about like stress, headaches, or like she's feeling anxious
• 46:56
  Speaker 6: all the time, or she's irritable. You might say, what's her.
• 47:01
  Speaker 3: Name, Casey, And she has very bad stomach problems. So
• 47:03
  Speaker 3: that's why I'm thinking it does affect her life.
• 47:06
  Speaker 6: There you go, case you should say Casey. I know
• 47:09
  Speaker 6: this sounds crazy, but we interviewed this woman on the
• 47:11
  Speaker 6: show do you want to feel better? I know that
• 47:15
  Speaker 6: sounds like a nuts question, but it's like some I
• 47:18
  Speaker 6: could lecture to room of a thousand people and I
• 47:20
  Speaker 6: literally will look at them and I'll say, please forgive me.
• 47:22
  Speaker 6: I love you guys, how long do you want to suffer?
• 47:26
  Speaker 6: Because we have a choice. You know what's crazy about
• 47:30
  Speaker 6: human society is like so many things are imposed on us.
• 47:33
  Speaker 6: They literally are. We don't have a choice about a lot.
• 47:36
  Speaker 6: We have a choice about the way we carry on
• 47:39
  Speaker 6: in our lives. And so when people understand there's a
• 47:41
  Speaker 6: way that they might suffer less, there's a way that
• 47:44
  Speaker 6: they might feel better, you can say, I know this
• 47:46
  Speaker 6: sounds wild, but I'm hearing that these there are people
• 47:49
  Speaker 6: that were like on restrictive diets. This is a true story,
• 47:52
  Speaker 6: eating like five foods total horrible ibs diary con Diary
• 47:57
  Speaker 6: of constipation floating. You know, all sorts of gut issues
• 48:00
  Speaker 6: that have done this work to relieve their nervous system dysregulation,
• 48:05
  Speaker 6: and they are symptom free period the end. Eat anything
• 48:10
  Speaker 6: they want. That is a boring common story in my work.
• 48:13
  Speaker 6: So it's like you tell her it's there, she'll probably
• 48:16
  Speaker 6: throw the book across the room and say, Okay, just
• 48:19
  Speaker 6: know it exists in life, and when you choose it,
• 48:22
  Speaker 6: that'll be your choice. And that's what I do. I say,
• 48:25
  Speaker 6: I'm over here living my best life. You don't have to.
• 48:28
  Speaker 6: Whenever you're ready, I'm here for you.
• 48:31
  Speaker 4: And this book comes out tomorrow.
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: Tomorrow, Yes, I know what I'll get her by that time,
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: I'll get her. That is appre I'm going to give
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: it to my son too.
• 48:40
  Speaker 5: Well.
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: The book is called Mind Your Body. Everybody, run out
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: and get a copy of tomorrow and implement in your life.
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: And where else can we find you? On social media?
• 48:51
  Speaker 6: Nicole Well, the best way to find me is just
• 48:54
  Speaker 6: to go to my website nicolesacks dot com and I
• 48:57
  Speaker 6: see O. L. E. Sachs and it has everything you
• 49:02
  Speaker 6: can see my community and my memberships and the ways
• 49:05
  Speaker 6: to be part of actually connecting with people. You can
• 49:09
  Speaker 6: go to my podcast, The Cure for Chronic Pain and
• 49:11
  Speaker 6: listen for free to as many stories as you want
• 49:14
  Speaker 6: of people doing this work for themselves. You can if
• 49:19
  Speaker 6: you want to take a self guided course and just
• 49:21
  Speaker 6: take if you want to know how to do this
• 49:22
  Speaker 6: for yourself. I have freedom from chronic pain. It's a course,
• 49:25
  Speaker 6: you take it at your own pace. I have so
• 49:28
  Speaker 6: much to offer and Instagram, I'm constantly chatting with everyone
• 49:32
  Speaker 6: at Nicole Sachs LCSW. So basically, like a few years ago,
• 49:35
  Speaker 6: I just bit the bullet and I'm like, I have
• 49:37
  Speaker 6: to be out there on the Internet and I just
• 49:39
  Speaker 6: go and I share and I try to inspire people.
• 49:42
  Speaker 6: I tell my story and I just want people to
• 49:45
  Speaker 6: feel less alone and to know they have much more
• 49:48
  Speaker 6: power than they realize to affect their physical and emotional health.
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: That is great. Well, you're really changing lives and helping people,
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: and with this you're going to continue to do that.
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for joining us. We've really appreciated it,
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: and we want to thank our sponsors, the Beaman Hotel,
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: who's been absolutely wonderful to us in Dallas. We've been
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: having great events with moms from all over the metroplex
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: as they call it there in Dallas, and we've it's
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: been introduced to a lot of great news zoomer moms
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: who are on the show. And that's what we're going
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: to be doing from coast to coast, shows in events
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: in Nashville, Colorado, which I heard it was Aspen actually,
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: which is very cool, all over the country, and we
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: want you to come to these events, meet other moms
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: and be a zoomer mom just like these zoomer moms today.
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: So please check us out for that. You can find
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: us on social media at Inside the Mom's Club. We
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: are on TikTok, YouTube, Instagram, well who knows TikTok for
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: how long, Instagram, Facebook, we are everywhere, So just like
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: the Cole, you can find us and please do well.
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: I can't believe, Lisa, this time has just gone brought
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: by so fast that we've learned so much and I'm
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: definitely gonna absolutely stuff I need implement. Meet to so
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: my little speech.
• 51:01
  Speaker 3: About I live a good life, don't you want to? No,
• 51:05
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna do it nicer than that you did it good.
• 51:07
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna I'm gonna watch it.
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: Watch the show over again and then do it again. Well,
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: you know, our motto here on the Mom's Club is,
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: if you don't laugh sometimes, ladies, you're gonna cry. So
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: we want everyone to keep laughing and we're gonna see
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: you next time inside the Mom's Club