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The Five Friendship Love Languages · RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Today's episode is produced by my friends at Walk West.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: If you're looking to grow your brand and generate leads through podcast or video production, head over to walkwest.com.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, let's start the show.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: From emotional intelligence through cognitive distortions, certified life and wellness coach Comedy Wood is on a mission to help people see the magnificence of their own unique human spirit.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Through these small bites of self-visualization and self-confidence, you can have healthy relationships, success in business and career, and live the life you want to live.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_01: Hey there, and welcome to another episode of Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: I am Comedy Wood, and I just want to say, whether it's morning, afternoon, or evening, thank you.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for taking a few moments out of your day to spend with me.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: In today's episode, we're going to actually be talking about how we can apply the five love languages but to friendships.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: And if you've been with us for the past couple of episodes, I have been spending a little bit of time focusing on friendship.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I just want to recap the reason being is what's really come up in a lot of my client sessions recently has been the idea that or the feeling of burnout.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: And uh one of the main causes or one cause that can lead to burnout and contribute to burnout is this lack, this sense of lack of community.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: And so I really just wanted to highlight a couple episodes around how do we build friendships.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: So we had the one episode on um, you know, how to attract a healthier friend, how to attract healthy friendships, and then we had our episode on just patterns to look out for that could disrupt a friendship.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_01: And today I, like I mentioned, I want to focus on this concept of using the five love languages to actually enhance our friendships.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: So you may have heard me speak before on a previous episode of the five love languages and our romantic relationships, but we can actually use these concepts to enhance our friendships as well.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: So to just recap, the five love languages are quality time, physical touch, words of affirmation, gifts, and acts of service.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_01: So, how do we apply these love languages to our friendships?
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_01: Quality time.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: This is one of the easiest ways to express the love of your friendship, right?
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: So it's about scheduling specific time to meet and engage with your friends because it fills them up and helps them feel confident and comfortable in your friendship.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: And this could include meeting for coffee, it could include catching a movie, it could just be anything where there's undivided time with your friend to just allow them to feel connected to you and allow them to really recognize how important the friendship is to you through this spending of quality time.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: Physical touch.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_01: So while this may sound more romantic, and interestingly enough, a lot of people who do the five love languages associate physical touch with intimacy, physical intimacy.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_01: And actually that's not really true.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_01: If you go through the five love languages, there's very specific discussion around how physical touch can actually just be even a hand on somebody's shoulder.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_01: So while this may sound more romantic, then you may not be, well, you might be thinking, how can we use physical touch in the context of friendship?
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: There are plenty of ways that physical touch can enhance friendship.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_01: For instance, friends hug.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_01: Hugs are a great way to say hello and a great way to say goodbye.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_01: A pat on the back, a hand on the shoulder, as I mentioned before.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: Those are just really those moments of physical touch that are reassuring where the friend can recognize that they are being seen or they are that their friend is there, their friend, you know, quote unquote has their back.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: So depending on the friendship, the fair there will be varying forms of the physical touch, but you know, friends um can use those elements of hugs or the pats on the back or the pats on the shoulder or the tap on the arm to let each other know through that physical touch the love language of friendship through physical touch.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: Words of affirmation, speaking to your friends uh in a it speaking to your friends is a great way for them to feel connected.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: And what I mean by that is speaking to them in that affirmative way is a great way for them to feel connected.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: This may be through sending them cards.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: I know in this day and age nobody seems to send snail mail, but sometimes that's a great way for our friend to know that we're thinking of them is to go old school and send them a card, leaving them a note maybe, or just verbally sharing how much they mean to you.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, I I can speak from experience.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: When a friend sends me a text that just basically says, Hey, just wanted you to know that I think the world of you, or you know, just reminding me that um they f they they they feel like I'm a good friend to them, or that they know what I bring to the friendship, or just anything positive, those words of affirmation can mean so much, whether they are sent through, you know, um an email, a text, a voice memo, uh a Facebook message, um, an Instagram message, a Snapchat, uh whatever it may be, just sending those feelings, those words of affirmation can be the use of that portion of the love languages to help the friend, our friend, feel secure and noticed within the friendship, and that we're invested in the friendship.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_01: Uh gifts.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: You know, gifts are a love language that some people have.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: And in friendships, you know, honestly, nobody really expects our friends to shower us with gifts every day, or at least I don't think that they do.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_01: But it's easy to think about if if one of somebody, if we have a friend whose love language is gifts, you know, maybe a small gesture or a small trinket here or there would let them know, hey, I'm thinking of you, you're an important friend to me.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, even just buying them a cup of coffee uh could be just the way that through that love language of gifts that our friend feels the recognition, feels um loved through the friendship.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: So it's it's a way that could go a long way to filling our friend's self-esteem.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: Then of course, the final one is acts of service.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: So if we know that our friend has a love language of acts of service, and we want our friend to feel that through the friendship, doing something for our friend um that would mean something that again, it's you know, the act of service, um, you know, really spending some time and recognizing what would what act would make my friend feel appreciated or make my friend recognize how important this friendship is, and then being able to just do that.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, maybe it is running an errand for them, or running to the grocery store to pick something up because we know that they're totally out of time and they've got something going on, or you know, dropping off um I keep coming back to coffee.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_01: Apparently I'm really in the mood for some coffee, but dropping off coffee coffee or just doing something that makes their life a little bit easier, a little bit less hectic or stress or or um releases a little bit of stress or overwhelm that they may be feeling is just a great way to use that that type of love language to let them know that we're invested in the friendship.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, learning our friends' love language, um, while it may seem, again, may seem odd because you're thinking, well, that their love language is for the romantic partner, but actually understanding their love language can help build up your own friendship with them because it's a we know that that's how they feel loved.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: And the truth of the matter is in our friendships, we want to feel loved and seen and respected as well, just like we do in our partnerships.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_01: So this is just um another way of thinking about how we can cultivate those really strong, really solid friendships, because at the end of the day, having that sense of community, having those people that we can support on when we have life's ups and ups and downs means a lot.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_01: If you need any support or would like to talk about what's coming up in your world, you're looking for clarity or or moving, you know, um advancing professionally or in your personal relationships and feel a little bit stuck and want to talk about what coaching could look like, definitely feel free to book a time with me at chatwithcomedy.com.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_01: And until next time, I'm Comedy Wood.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: For more information, book a chat with comedy at www.chatwithcomedy.com or visit her website at www.comedywood.com.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: You can also find comedy on Facebook or Instagram.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: Username it's authentic me.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening.