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Joe Rogan Experience _2480 - Arsenio Hall · Luke's English Podcast

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Podcast Check it out. But Joe Experience Train My Day
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Joe Rogan podcast by Nay All Day Shone. Sir, Yes,
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: our old friend would be so happy, not just that picture,
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: but so much that you've done. Like, do you believe
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: that people who have gone on know what we're doing
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: or see us.
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: I don't know. You'd like to think that you're that important.
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I have a feeling they have more important
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: stuff to do. On the other side.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess if you're in heaven, you're not thinking
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: about the Mothership.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: Right, But well, the mother Ship definitely is from her.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yeah, I mean that's an incredible tribute to her.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: Well, the bar is named after her.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I've heard all the comics. I've heard Shame and
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: Ian and all the guys talk about it after they
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: came back. And that's just an honor man. That that plus,
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: you know, I used to say to people, if you
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: haven't taken something from watching Richard Pryor, you're probably doing
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: it wrong. And Mitzi made the greatest comedy Mecca ever,
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: and you gotta copy what she did.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, wow, And this she taught me everything about how
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: to run a club, how to do it right. Basically
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: kind of let the comedians run it, let the inmates
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: run the asylum.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, yeah, we're perfect inmates for that. And
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: right now the Comedy Store is greater than ever.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: That's awesome.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's it's wonderful there because you know, I even
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: got Jay Lenard to come back, you know, because he
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: remembered the old days and hadn't gone back. And I'm like, dude,
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: it's different. They they pay you are coming. They split
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: the door in a different way now and there are
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: phones in bags. I had to explain that concept.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we had encouraged them to.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: Do all that. Yeah, that was your era.
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well once we left, we started doing that at
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: the Mothership for all the shows. Then other comedy clubs
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: started falling. So it's the way to do it. People
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: are too fucking distracted.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think it it frees us up in
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: a way. I'll say things and try things and not
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: worrying about seeing them on YouTube when they're not ready
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: or when I've made a mistake and gone too far
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: and said something.
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: You know. It's also you have to be free to
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: fuck around and experiment, and if someone takes that fucking
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: around experience, you don't know what's coming out of your mouth,
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: like right now, I don't know what's coming out of
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: my mouth right before I say right. And people have
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: to understand that this is not like when you're on
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: stage and you're working out, like a lot of it
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: is freeballing. You've got material that's like sort of established
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: and you're you know, you've got the bones of it,
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: but you're also fucking around in the moment. And sometimes
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: you fuck around in the moment and it works, and
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: sometimes you fuck around the moment and it does nothing,
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: it goes or it's terrible. You said something awful, You're
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: like whoop, sorry, Yeah, you're just fucking creating something. And
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: then stand up is the only art form that you
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: have to kind of create in front of a crowd.
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: You can't really you can get ideas and the concepts
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: and the flesh of it alone, but you have to
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: it comes alive in front of the crowd. You have
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: to be able to fuck around.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I me and Chappelle, and you've you've done this
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: kind of thing. Me and Chappelle met Chris Rock in
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: Cleveland because Chappelle lives in Ohio. Obviously he's done something
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: very similar to what you've done, but we'll get Yeah.
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he's done something really cool and basically took over
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: a whole town. Yeah.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's funny.
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: In the especially had a really funny joke about it
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: about how when white people move into a neighborhood it's
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: called gentrification, and he goes, they don't have a word
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: from doing what I'm doing to these motherfuckers.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's crazy to be Dave Chappelle the most important
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: man in town.
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: But Chris Rock was doing Cleveland and we met him
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: there and that was the first time I saw the
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: bags people, and I was apprehensive. As a matter of fact,
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: I saw a celebrity in la who didn't want to
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: put his phone in a bag, and so they had
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: that motherfucker's day outside.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: You know. Yeah, there's too many snitches in this world.
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: Too many people just want to film everything for the GRAM,
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: Like stop.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, sometimes we're saying the wrong thing, sometimes we're drunk,
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah for sure.
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: A lot, Yeah, yeah, a lot. Dave loves to lit
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: go on stage, but it's also like that's one of
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: the ways he creates, Like I've seen him do entire
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: shows when he's just completely fucking around films everything. So
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: then after as he goes over it and it's like, oh,
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: there's a seed right there. I only plant that seed. Yeah,
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: there's an idea there, And then you knows how you
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: come up with stuff.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I never drink or smoke before going on stage.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: But I love to create it home and the next
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: day because sometimes you can write something down and it'll
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: be like blazeer button envelope and the next day you're like,
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: I don't know what the fuck I thought was funny
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: about that last night when I was smoking. But I
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: like to smoke and create it home and then take
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: it to the stage. But when I'm on stage, I've
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: had bad experiences trying to do it high and say
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: and this will make me creative. I'll be like Hendrick
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: of comedy, that's all wrong.
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: Your memory will go.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, your memory will go. One time I was at
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: the laugh Factory and I came off and George Lopez
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: said to me, while you come off, And I said,
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: I told you I do twenty, and he says, you
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: did five. I was at tonight he speaking.
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: I got to clear something up. Speaking of this has
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: nothing to do with you. But I did a podcast
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: last week with THEO Vaughn and in it, there was
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: like a video on the Internet that was accusing me
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: of lying about something. And what I said was that
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: I was in the mountains of Utah when the Charlie
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: Kirk thing was going down. What it actually happened was
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: I was here doing a podcast with Charlie Sheen when
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: the Charlie Kirk thing went down. When he died, we
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: stopped and took a piss break, right, and that's when
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: we found out about it, right. And then when I
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: was in the mountains of Utah, that's when the Jimmy
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: Kimmel thing was happening, when Jimmy Kimmel was getting in
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: trouble and I was getting all these messages, but I
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: didn't have any service out there, so I had to
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: hook up the starlink in order to find out what
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: was happening. When I did the podcast the other day,
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: it seemed like I was saying that I was in
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: the mountains when Charlie Kirk got shot. I probably was
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: saying that I was exhausted when I did that show
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: last week. So I did a show on Tuesday night
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: at the club, and I have this thing that I do,
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: unfortunately where I come home and it's the only time
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: that I get a loan time is when everyone's asleep.
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: And I stayed up way too late. I stayed up
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: super late, and then I had to take my kid
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: to school in the morning, and I was like, I'll
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: just power through. The problem when I do that, when
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: I get no sleep is my memory is dog shit.
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: Like I have a really good memory and a terrible memory.
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: It's really good a lot of the times, and then sometimes,
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: especially when I'm tired, it's fucking terrible. It's like from
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: doing thousands of podcasts, my memory is like a room
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: that's filled with boxes and files and I don't know
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: where the fuck everything is.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: See as you were talking the first Indica, everything goes
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: to sports for me. Some of our greatest home run hitters,
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: they strike out a lot because this swinging all in
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: a motherfucking time trying to get it to stuff, of course,
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: and I think that's how we are, well not we you,
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: especially right now, you're doing this constantly. You're talking to
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: lots of people, saying lots of things, and every now
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: and then it's going to be swinging and miss let
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: me explain.
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: But the real problem was sleepy the real problem was
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: not getting any sleep, and I'm not gonna do that
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: anymore because I keep doing the thing. I get home
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: at nine.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: Have you had that problem before, like you sat deprivation
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: and you get yourself into something.
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: I've had that problem before. Usually I fix it with creatine.
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: So creatine is a great supplement when you're tired. It
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: really there's been studies that show that creatine supplementation, especially
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: like ten to twenty grams, it actually alleviates all of
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: the problems that happen with sleep deprivation in terms of
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: cognitive function. But I've been I just was doing some
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: blood work. So when I knew that I was going
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: to do my blood work, I didn't take any creatine
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: for a month because I want to because I'd read
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: something about creatine possibly being bad for your kidneys, so
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: I wanted to get a baseline, do it, and then
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: do it again. When I saw oh yeah, so I
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: had this like strategy. But the point is like create
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: I went, yeah, my brain was foggy. And so for
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: the people that like heard that and like, what is
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: wrong with you? That's what I thought. When I saw
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: like somebody put a video on the why is he
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: lying about this. I'm like, oh, I forgot. It wasn't
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: a lie. It's just my brain sucks when I don't
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: get sleep, and I'm not gonna do that anymore because
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: it's like when I get home at night, it's the
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: only time I'm alone, is like my only alone time.
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: And even though I knew I had to get up
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: in the morning and take my kid to school, I
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: was like, I don't fucking care. I was staying up.
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: The problem with that is like when I have to
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: do this the next day, I just don't function as good.
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: I've done it, I've done it before, but I feel
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: it the next day, like I can't recall things. My
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: words don't come out as smooth, I don't have as
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: much my vocabulary is limited. It's like there's too many
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: problems with it.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: So I mean two things that comes to my mind
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: that First of all, do guys with these arms do creatine?
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: I mean, help me, Oh, it's great for everybody.
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Creatine is not just a supplement for muscles. Creatine
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: is actually a really good cognitive function supplement. It's actually
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: a cognitive enhancing supplement. Yeah, there's a lot of research
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: on that.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and the other thing that that hit me is
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: I was listening to you talk recently and you talked
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: about smoking herb and how it enhanced the weightlifting process. You, Yeah,
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: what's that about?
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: You feel it in your tissues? Man, It's like you
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: feel it's really good for coordination exercise. Like, there's a
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: lot of jiu jitsu guys smoke weed. They smoke weed
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: right before class like get ripped.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: And then when I first started seeing.
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: Not those guys, those guys don't do it, but a
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: lot of guys do. I think one of the one
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: of them, I don't want to throw them under the bus,
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: but one of the brothers was really into smoking weed
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: and doing jiu jitsu and arguably the best one. Definitely
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: the best one. But a lot of jiu jitsu guys
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: do it, and a lot of guys like to do
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: it before kickboxing. It's like you just feel your muscles more,
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: you feel like your coordination more, You're more sensitive. It's weird.
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: It's like instead of you being like abstract with your
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: movements and you know, just kind of like doing it,
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: it's like you feel all the tissues, all the connection.
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: When you lift weights, you like like you feel all
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: the fibers of all your shit moving. It's like it
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: just makes you more sensitive. It's such an un misunderstood substance.
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: Not for everybody. I really believe some people should not
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: get high. I think for some people it throws them
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: off and sends them down a dark road and it's
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: just not.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: Them to procrastinate about their life and personal responsibility.
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: There's a lot of that. There's a lot of people
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: that just wake and bake and just live in the
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: cloud all day and never get anything anything done. And
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: then there's a lot of people that also get like
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: superparent and they get anxiety and they freak out. And
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: then there's people that there's a lot of connections to
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: marijuana and psychosis or schizophrenic states. That's something. But the
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: problem with that is were they already like, did they
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: already have a propensity towards schizophrenia and marijuana push them
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: over the edge where they gonna get it anyway, Like,
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: it's hard to.
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: Say a lot of those guys on a diet coke
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: would have problems.
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, right, right, there's a lot of guys just fucking
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: red lights freaking out. There's people that just life is
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: too hard for them and they don't need something else
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: that fucks with it. You know, if you already have
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: mental health struggles, probably shouldn't do mushrooms. Yeah, if you're
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: already fucked up, if there's already some things that you're
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: like struggling to hang on to everyday life, yeah, you
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: probably shouldn't do acid, you know what I mean. Yeah,
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: you should probably just just try to like keep your
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: shit together. But that's not everybody. It's like alcohol, Like
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: alcohol's not for everybody, but some people can have a
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: glass of wine and just start laughing. It's a nice
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: social lubricant. Some people they at one drink and then
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: they're doing coke and they're getting hookers and they're fucking
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: driving on the freeway. Ah, you're shooting at cops. There's
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: like they go crazy. Like some people just can't handle alcohol.
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: Doesn't mean it should be illegal. That's crazy. And that
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: is the same thing I feel with pot. Pot is
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: super beneficial to a lot of people and.
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: Has been for millions of years. Yeah, who for me,
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: that's my Like in the old days, you'd watch a
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: television show and a guy would have a martini when
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: he comes home.
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: I even talk about that in the book when I
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: come home, my girl has me a joint laid out
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: on the counter, you know, and uh, you know, nice
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: little raw papers, and that's my that's daddy's cocktail.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a nice one too, because it doesn't fuck
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: with your body. The problem with alcohol is, you know,
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: it feels good while you're doing it, but then the
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: next day you're.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: Like, oh, yeah.
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: You're fucking head and your body's top.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: I hear swelling, you know, and different kinds of things.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: And also I'm from a home where my favorite person
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: my cousin. Because I didn't have brothers and sisters, biological
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: brothers and sisters. So when my cousin came to live
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: with me, a male, he's a teenager, and he had
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: a drinking problem. Like I would go inside my toy
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: box and find scotch. Oh yeah, he would hide it.
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: He's parked in the garage when there were already two
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: cars in the garage, you know. And I loved him
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: and he was hilarious and he in part helped to
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: make me who I am. But a bad experience like
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: that in your youth can make you a little bit
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: leery about liquor.
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I had a friend of mine when I
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: was in high school and his cousin sold coke, and
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: I watched this guy fall apart, and I watched him
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: do cocaine constantly and fall apart. His life just went
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: down the toilet. And I never touched cocaine. Because of that,
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: I never did. I've still never done coke, and I
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: think that's why, because I watched this.
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: You've never tried a line never that's heavy once. Yeah,
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: because I had to try it to see what it
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: smelled like. You know, I mean, I'm sure i'd like it.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: My friend Jimmy.
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: Said, don't do this, you'd love it. But he's probably right.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: But you also have a certain kind of discipline where
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: I think you could do a line and say, Okay,
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: I get it. But I lovefully that you have the
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: discipline to never try it. I don't have that kind
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: of strength. I gotta see what it's like once.
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: The thing is like, I don't know anybody who said,
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: like cocaine was really good for me, Like doing cocaine
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: was really good. When cocaine my life just really changed.
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: I really are clarity, I start focusing its nicer to people.
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: I don't ever hear that story, never, not once I.
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: Did a little coke and then I was president of
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: Yale and I ran for I do.
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: Hear people say that about speed, which is weird. You
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: hear people say that about amfetamines, like especially adderall, Like
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: how like, oh my god, it makes me so productive.
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: I got so much done. But it's generally it's like
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: journalists and people that have to write a lot students.
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: I'm very curious about adderall because I'm hearing so much
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: and I'm thinking, like when I was doing the book, right,
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: I'm like, would adderall be good to focus me, to
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: do for me what it does for students that I
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: hear talk about it?
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: Probably? Probably, but I don't.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: It's a pill, right.
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: It scares me though, because I know a lot of
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: people with problems with it. It's it's a it's a
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: real it's a real catchy one. It gets you, yeah,
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: and then you start leaning on.
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: So that that's one of the one of the downs
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: is it's extremely addicting, very addictive. But what's the other downside.
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: Well, I would imagine when you get off of it,
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: you're exhausted, because I would imagine whenever there's there's always
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: some sort of a biological you know, there's there's whenever
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: there's no free lunch. Right, anything that speeds you up
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: is going to bring you down, like this, get if
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: you're ramping your body up where you're focusing for fucking
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: sixteen hours just sitting in front of the type art. Yeah,
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: and that's what like my journalist like it. I would
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: imagine the back end of it.
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: You've done it, Jamie twice, because it kept me up
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: for two days.
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: That's it.
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: It's an amphetamine. So yeah, I went to try to
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: go to bed and was like, oh, this isn't happening,
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: so let's get up and see how we're up all day?
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: All right?
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: Two days?
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I just I had to call off work.
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: It wasn't good. And then you feel real dopey after
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: it wears off. Right, Yeah, I didn't.
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: I didn't feel like I seated on anything that day.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: Man. That is a fucking problem for me. It is
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: like the lack of sleep thing. After this whole Charlie
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: Kirk thing, with this what I was just talking about,
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: I'm really going to concentrate a lot more on sleep.
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: You can't fuck with that because it's like, especially me,
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: it's like I need my brain to be functioning as
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: its highest potential most of the time. Like, that's what
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: you're doing, especially when I'm in here. I was talking
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: at THEO Vonn. I didn't think that be that big
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: of a deal. THEO is a comic. We're just gonna
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: be silly, probably the most recent one. Yeah, the one
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: I was just talking about. It would probably be good
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: to be loopy, you know, like because you know the
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: writers on news radio, they would stay up all night
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: on purpose just to get loopy. Because that was because
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: they didn't really do any drugs. They just would use
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: sleep deprivation to be silly. It was hilarious, Like these
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: guys would start writing at like two o'clock in the morning,
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: Like they would stay up they play video games, and
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: they would start writing a script at like two o'clock
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: in the morning, and then they would stumble in to
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: like when we have a table read, they would stumble
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: into the table read, like just finishing the script. They
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: would lay it out to us. They just got done
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: printing it, and these guys would be fucking just completely
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: out of it, hair off, fucked up, barefoot. It was
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: really funny the way they operated, but it was there
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: was a method to their madness and that method was
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: the more tired you get, the more exhausted you get,
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: you get into sleep deprivation, You get loopy, and you
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: get silly and you start thinking silly things. Yeah, I
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: mean those guys, that's how they would use it. They
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: would use that weird state of mind, that loopiness to write.
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• 20:31
  Speaker 1: I need my sleep, man, If I have sleep, I
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: can do anything.
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: I feel like they could have got there with weed
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: without all the loopiness. You know, you want to get
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: there like you get there with weed, and you know
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: you don't have to stay up all night. You get
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: it like right away.
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but weed ain't for everybody. But but yeah, I
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: love having my sleep. As a matter of fact, that's
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: the drug that's most important to me. In an ambient
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: nearby you like that, Yeah, a quarter, there's a little
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: bite of ambient, A little bite. Yeah, we'll hook you up.
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: I knew a dude who would take that shit every day.
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: He had to take it all the time, and then
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: he was taken two and he told me, like, dude,
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: my house could be on fire and I would have
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: no idea and I'm like, that can't be good. But
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: he needed it. It was the only way he could
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: go to sleep. But he was also taken adderall. So
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: he was taking adderall on the day and then he
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: was taking ambient at night. I can't believe he's still alive.
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's too much.
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the adderall fucked his life up too.
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: Whoo, Yeah it's not.
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: You know, I don't think you should rely on anything
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: for sleep. For me, I just I've never had a
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: sleep problem. Fortunately, I could go to sleep on a
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: bag of rocks. I could just crash. It tries my
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: wife nuts because, like if we're on a plane, the
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: moment the plane takes up, I'm out cold. I could
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: just go to sleep.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: The bad thing about me is I can sleep best
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: in places I shouldn't sleep, like church or sitting talking
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: to my woman.
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, why why does church make yourself sop? Or reading?
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: The reading will put you out?
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: There are some audible books that are worse than ambient.
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, something about physically reading puts me out. Just sitting
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: there looking at the pages they're just starting on and all. Yeah, I.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: The Alchemists. I have been on page twelve for like
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: a year and a half, you know, sit down on
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: a plane and just read the Alchemist at the top
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: of the page, and I'm out.
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's fiction for me that puts me out. Nonfiction
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: doesn't really put me out. Nonfiction is more like, I
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: guess it's more stimulating because it's real, you know, because
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: I'm reading about real things. Something about reading fiction is
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: what puts me to sleep.
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: For me, it's just reading. I can take out my license,
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: you know. Oh halfway through my name out. This is cool. Man.
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: Not having sleep has got like a person that's got
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: like legitimate insomnia. That's gotta be the nuttiest fucking problem. Like,
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: that's that movie The Mechanic, No, the Machinist. Did you
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: ever see that movie The Machinist.
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: No? Is that an action movie?
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: Well, it's that's the movie with uh, what's Christian Bale?
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: Christian Bale where he lost an insane amount of weight,
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: Like Christian Bale is a big guy. I think he
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: got to like one hundred and thirty something pounds. Yeah,
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: And the idea was that this guy was going completely
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: insane because he couldn't sleep and so he wasn't eating,
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: and so he was just like up all the time,
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: like out of it, and he like, if you see
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: what he looked like when he made that movie, it's like,
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: that's what he looked like in the movie.
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: Oh shit, Yeah, that looks like he's about to make
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: a whole different movie.
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like he was about to die. And then he
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: went from that, and right afterwards he did Batman, so
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: he got super jacked. He went from that, and then,
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: by the way, the movie sucks. So this guy like
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: wrecked his health for a movie that wasn't even good.
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: And I mean, I wonder how good it could even
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: be when your main guy is dying. Look at that
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: image on the far right, the one that you just
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: look at that. Look at the difference between that was
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: like six months later.
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: That can't that can't be healthy.
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: No, fucking terrible for you, it has to be terrible terrible.
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: Do you like to act?
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: No, I don't hate it. I don't like the process.
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: I don't like waiting around all day. I don't like
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: being on set. I don't like dealing with Some actors
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: are great. Some actors are just like all kinds of people. Yeah, cops,
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: there's a lot of cops that are awesome.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: Because I know you had a point in your life
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: when you could probably do anything you want. And I
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: never see you pursuing any act roles.
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: No, I avoid them. I've been offered some fun stuff
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: and I was like, I'm not going to Bulgaria for
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: three months. Fuck that. I'm just it's not my thing.
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: And if it was my thing, I would I'd be like,
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: feel very fortunate and I'd dive on it.
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: So when you look at something you've done and you're
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: watching a role in dailies or at the premiere, you
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: don't love what you see so much that you do
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: more of it.
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: It doesn't bother me. It's just not what I enjoy doing.
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: And again, it's the process that's the problem. It's the
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: sixteen hour days, it's like, and it's being around actors
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: because you're around people that need to think and need
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: to talk in a very specific way because they're always
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: worried they're going to be cast out of the kingdom,
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: you know what I mean. So it's like this very
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: disingenuous way of communicating that a lot of actors have.
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: And it's just and you always feel when you do
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: something that this person's going to be your friend for life.
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: I'll see you next month and you never see that
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: fucker ever again. It's it's it's such a disingenuous environ.
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: Do you enjoy it? Do you enjoy it?
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: I kind of like it, But at seventy, I prefer
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: to just be at home.
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: You're seventy. Yeah, you look so good. Oh thanks, that's
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: kind of crazy. You're seventy and no creatine imagine how
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: you look.
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: Go get it, seventy.
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: Man, if you told me that you were forty five,
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: if I didn't know you, you told me forty five,
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: i'd believe you. That's nuts. That's a blessing, isn't that crazy? Yeah?
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I'm happy. So that's unusual.
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, right, A lot of people when they're seventy, they're
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: better and tired.
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I talk a little bit in the book about
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: Richard Pryor come into my first condo. I bought a
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: condo so I could. I didn't have a car yet,
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: and eventually I got one. But when I first came
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: to LA I wanted to be between the comedy Store
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: and the Improvs. I get to both, So I bought
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: me a condo, and I told Richard Pryor that I
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: got a condo. I don't know. It's one of those
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: I think. I heard you and Shane talking about how
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: you see your heroes now and then, and sometimes you
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: just say the wrong shit. And I was expecting this
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: to beat the wrong shit, but it's all I can
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: think of. And I said, Richard, I just bought a condo,
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: and he said, oh wow, I like to see it.
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, okay, and him and Rashan,
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: his body man, came to see my condo and that
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: was the coolest thing in the world. But the one
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: thing I remember. I remember I had no furniture, and
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: Rashan had told me his guy had told me to
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: get some Cavasier, So I had some Cavasier.
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: And we sat on the floor and drank Cavassier and
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: listened to a boombox with jazz on it and talked
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: and he looked around at one point and he said,
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: this reminds me of when I was happy WHOA And
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: I don't even have to tell you what went through
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: my head and what I thought that meant. And I
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: didn't listen to him. Then. That's the thing is people
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: disperse knowledge to us from their experiences, and sometimes we're
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: too young and dumb to listen, but.
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: It doesn't mean to you. At the time when he said,
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: this reminds me of when I was happy.
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: You know, I was. I was so excited that Richard
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: Park came to see my condo. I didn't process it,
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: but years later I start realizing that he bought things
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: and philosophies that made his life more complex, and he
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: was happy. This is what I think it means. He
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: was happy with the simple shit, you know. And sometimes
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's nice to have isn't it cool to
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: have money but still eat burgers if you want to?
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: I mean, because I remember walking through supermarkets and pretending
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: I was shopping and eating out of the child cart
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: that that little top part, and then leaving the supermarket,
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: you know. So it's nice to be able to buy
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: anything we want. But at the same time, I get
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: that thing of the simplicity and you know, no guard.
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: Gate, nobody's knocking down your door trying to get to you.
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, just the contoc with no furniture. And for a
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: guy like that, for the greatest that I've ever known
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: in our world to say I was happy when I
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: had a little place with no furniture. I didn't think
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: about it enough then, but later I realized what he meant.
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: When I was in a house that was too big
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: with guesthouses. Yeah, that would you know, you walk into
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: a guesthouse and cobwebs get on your face, you know,
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: because you ain't been in there in a while, and
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: you realize, Okay, this is what Richard was talking about.
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: I'm doing a lot of shit for other people that
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: I don't need.
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: Right and too much come play.
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, somebody said complication. My business manager says something about
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: my staff, and it dawned on me, What the fuck
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: do I have a staff for?
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: You know?
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: And I've simplified things a little bit in my life,
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: and I'm really happy. It's oh just you know, me
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: and my woman and a scale down life.
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: That's better. Yeah. There's a lot of people that just
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: want a lot of people around them because it makes
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: them feel important. They have a big staff, they have
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: a lot of people working for them, a lot of
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: things going on, a lot of different projects. Keep moving,
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: keep moving, but no peace. Yeah, not good. I always
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: tell comedians like they're like, oh, I got to get
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: an assistant. I go, no, you don't just do less shit.
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: Don't get an assistant. You get an assistant, that person's
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: gonna want to kill you. That person's they're gonna feel entitled.
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: You're making all this money. They're not. You're famous, they're not.
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: They see you for who you really are. They fall
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: like a fucking regular guy. Why's he got all this?
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: Like David Spade's assistant duct taped him and tased him.
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: Remember that, Yeah, I try to kill him.
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: That's heavy man. And I've heard that the people who
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: work for us always hate us. I've always avoided somebody.
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: It's not always the case. He said, you know your
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: house keeper hates you, and I'm like, no, she's been
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: with me twenty two years. I hate you. And I
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: don't want to believe that.
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: It's not always the case, but it is often the
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: case that people that are around people that have so much,
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: they feel like why don't I have this? Like I'm
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: working for this person? Am I not doing? But why
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: am I not rich? This person could just make me rich.
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: It's weird, you know what I mean? Like, that's not
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: what the job is. The job is you're a gardener.
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: Garden doesn't make five million dollars a year like this is.
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: You're kind of being crazy, and then you get people
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: that take advantage of you, where you get a bill
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: and you're like, why does it cost this much? This
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: is kind of like. I have a friend who's very wealthy.
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: He's a businessman, and he goes over every fucking little
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: thing that people charge him, and he's always looking for
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: trying to overcharge me.
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: He finds his own check.
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but he gets crazy when he thinks people are
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: overcharging him. But I'm like, dude, you're almost eighty and
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: you're worth a billion dollars, Like, why do you why
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: are you looking at like how much the car wash
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: got charges you? This is crazy.
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: Maybe that's why he has a billion. Perhaps.
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: I mean, he's a businessman, that's his thing. But what
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: drives him nuts is this idea that people are overcharging
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: him because he's wealthy, Oh, taking advantage of him.
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: Joe. The craziest I ever went was I had a
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: barber when I had hair, you know, And you know
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: a black barber is a skilled scientist, you know, because
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: back then I had a fried died and laid to
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: the side with three Adidas stripes over on the left.
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: And you know, my shit was intricate year and my
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: business manager happened to be a business manager for two
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: other entertainers, and he's also my friend. And one day
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: he says, you know, that guy charges the three of
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: you different prices, and I'm like, get the fuck. So
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: I found out that Johnny Gill was paying one hundred,
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: I was paying three point fifty.
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: Uh.
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: And that drives me crazy because basically, like you say,
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: he was charging based on who I.
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: Am, right, Yeah, you can afford it.
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah. And I had a friend who had more
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: money than me, and he was charging him a crazy amount.
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: It was it was like the rental of a rose
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: crazy money.
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, that's what comes with the territory. People just
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: think you're not gonna notice. They don't care, you.
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: Know, Yeah, I guess. Yeah.
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: Do you think you're happier now than you were when
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: the Arsenial Hall Show was at its peak?
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah? I think I'm happier now because with that peak
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: comes a lot of pressure and a lot of work.
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: And I'd be a liar to say I don't enjoy
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: having the money without the other shit. You know, I
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: did a good job of investing and making sure that
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: when the lights went out, I was good. So I
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: love my life.
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: Right now man more relaxed and being the OG.
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: And pretty much your responsibility is just giving advice to
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: a comic in the hallway.
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, well, a lot of the young guys
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: don't understand what you did because what your show was
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: like back in I guess when was it? When did
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: it first come on the air? What year?
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: Probably coming to America was like eighty six eighty SI
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: and I left New York and went and started the show,
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: So eighty seven eighty eight sometime around and there I'm
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: bad with years.
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, during that time and in the nineties, it changed
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: the whole landscape of late night television. The completely changed
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: it because late night television was stiff. You know. It
• 35:18
  Speaker 2: was like, you have a fucking the desk. The desk
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: made no sense to me.
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: I talk about the desk and how I got rid
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: of it, but it made no sense.
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: But you would. I was like, oh, finally he got
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: rid of the desk. The fucking are we being lectured?
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: Am I in the principal's office, Like what is what's
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: the fucking desk for? But when they first started doing
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: that in the nineteen fifties, if you went to work,
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: you had a desk h you had to wear a die,
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: you had a dusk. And they all smoked cigarettes while
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: they're on the job. You know. He watched like the
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: Johnny Carson shows.
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: During commercials, Johnny will go under his desk, mm hmm
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: a cigarette.
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, they would often smoke on air. They would
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: do it all the time. Back then, they all smoked.
• 35:56
  Speaker 2: How about planes?
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: How about the fact that we could get on a
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: plane to go to a game and there was a
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: row behind us where smoking began, right and no smoking
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: row and it based behind me. Got a cigar, yeah.
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: And it was just flooding the entire cabin. You know, Dice,
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: you used to have a joke about it.
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: You're in a fucking tube. Where's the air going?
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: But it was a weird time. But the whole idea
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: was what I was getting to was like late night
• 36:26
  Speaker 2: television was very stiff. It was you know, it was
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: like and then your show came around. Paul wrote that,
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: did he Yeah, Oh wow, your show came around, and
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: then all of a sudden it was fun and loose.
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: And I remember when Clinton came on your show and
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: played the saxophone, and I mean, everybody's like, what is happening?
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: The fucking president of the was he the president back then?
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: Was well, he was a governor and he was trying
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: to get the young votes. So he did me. And
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: then the next day they decided to do MTV because
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: I think what my show did that night was changed
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: how you run for the highest office in the land.
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: And and look at that.
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: That the joke I had just done was finally a
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: Democrat blowing something other than the election. When you look,
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: you remember jokes in the moment. And dude, So what's
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: interesting is after this, presidential candidates realized they had to
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: come to Rogan and Sunday morning to meet the press,
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: you know, and I like that. You know, they have
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: to go everywhere.
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: Now, well they go where the people are paying attention, right.
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: But it's it was different because if they did the
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: Tonight show with Johnny Carson, it would be a you know,
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: a very competent interview, but it would be stiff. It
• 37:59
  Speaker 2: was it was like very I mean not even Stiff's
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: not the right word. It was traditional. It was like
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: this was different, like him playing the saxophone running for
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: president playing the saxophone. I was like, what is happening here?
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: And I tried to get. I told Jenna Bush this
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: last week, I'm on this book slinging tour, and I
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: told her, I said, I invited your grandpa because back
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: then there was a mentality that you do equals both sides,
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: you know. And I don't think if it was a rule.
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: But but first of all, my dad was a Republican,
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: my mother was a Democrat. So I was used to
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: hearing both sides and learning both sides. And I thought
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: the best thing I could do for young people is
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: show them both sides, and that would be fair of
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: me as a host. And we got a call from
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: a man named Marlon Fitzwater who said, no fucking way,
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: we're coming there, you know. And and I wonder why.
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: It's almost like what you talk about with the desk.
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: Society at a certain point is stiff and it takes
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: certain people to loosen it up and make a change.
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: And I think it was just they're not used to it.
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: It's like, why are they barking? And what is it?
• 39:14
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: You know things that make you go oh yeah, yeah.
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there was a lot good. I had a couple
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: of the hooks going, oh you had a great hook.
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: The things that make you go home everybody used that
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: all day long, like when if something weird was going
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: on in the office. People are things that make you
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: go hmm.
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: And it was so cool. Then they wrote a song
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: about it, and I turned on TV and I would
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: see See and see Music Factory. Yes that's right, yeah,
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: And I would turn on TV and like Nord Streams
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: would have a sale that makes you go, and I
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: was like, that's very cool, you know. And it came
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: about sitting with the writers and I had done it
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: at the Comedy Store and he says, you know, we
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: could use that and just throw any joke in there,
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: like randos that we don't know where to put right,
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: And so it really was a cheating technique for.
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, perfect non sequitor, yeah, transition.
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: Every now and then hey why don't black women breastfeed
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: chocolate milk? And you have no place else to put
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: that thought. So it's a stream of things that make
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: you go yeah.
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Well it was just finally there was a different
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: kind of talk show. It was like, finally there was
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: a talk show that was more fun.
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: Hey, the desk thing. My partner and executive producer MARLAKEL. Brown,
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: we were sitting around one day and she said after
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: coming to America. I had done the Joan Rivers thing.
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: I'd filled in for her for eleven weeks, and I
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: think she her husband committed suicide and she was going
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: through all that period right Conan's creating the Wilton North
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: Report in the room that I leave and I go
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: to Paramount and she says, I'm asking you one thing.
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: She said, I watch you stand up the other night
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: at the comedy store, and there is a freedom that
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: you have that I would like you to have on
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: the talk show. And I don't think we can have
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: it with that desk between you and the guest. So
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: I want you to just try without the desk. And
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: I tried it without the desk and never went back.
• 41:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you changed it, I mean like and then George
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: Lopez did no desk when he did his show. A
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: few people have tried the no dust thing.
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but for us, I think it's great. And you
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: know what, I was able like somebody like Rosie Perez
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: who would be nervous, I'd hold her hand, and you
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: can't reach across the desk, right and hold somebody.
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: Well. Also, the desk was always elevated.
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you want to be the game must be
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: high on, which is weird. Well, that's that's a bizarre
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: I don't know if that's the ego of the entertainer
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: or whether that's some ass kissing prop of set design
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: or move because we always wanted to be higher, and
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: I remember they put something under my seat. So yeah,
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: so I'm sitting even with Kareem, which is bullshit. You know. Yeah,
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: it's a weird thing.
• 42:14
  Speaker 2: It's like, why would the host be above movie stars
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: and rock stars? Why that doesn't make any sense at all.
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, unless your host is David Bowie.
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah right, unless he decides to do a talk show.
• 42:30
  Speaker 2: And even then it doesn't make any sense. It's like,
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: if you want to have a conversation, the way you
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: did it was the best way to do it. Just
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: be sitting there, sitting with each other, you know, and
• 42:40
  Speaker 2: now you can lean in.
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah yeah, you could touch the person. Yeah. Now
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: we have a different era where everyone can do talk.
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: I saw Mike Epps talking on his back from his
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: bed the other day, holding his phone above him, and
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: that's when it hit me. It's like, now we have
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: a hard time finding a guest that doesn't have a show, right,
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: we can anyone can have a show. Now, Yeah, that's
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: kind of cool.
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: It is kind of cool. And it's just like and
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: you find your as long as you do it long
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: enough and you put the right attention to it and
• 43:18
  Speaker 2: do it honestly, you'll find your own lane. You find
• 43:21
  Speaker 2: your own way of doing things.
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: I have friends who have children who have shows, make
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: up tutorios and successful things going on in their bedroom.
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: One of the biggest shows on YouTube for a long
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: time was a kid that was like unboxing toys. Oh
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: that's cool, and it was sort of but then they
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: started monetizing it, and I think, you know, as soon
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: as your parents start making all that money off of
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: you opening toy boxes, shit gets weird. It's weird for
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: kids to get famous, period. But it was just like
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: no one had thought that out like that there would
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: be a lot of people that were interested in you
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: watching toys. Yeah, but a lot of shows that I
• 44:00
  Speaker 2: watch on YouTube that it's just people cooking. Oh yeah,
• 44:04
  Speaker 2: I just I love watching.
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: People watch a lady cook with big titties and and
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: uh just an apron.
• 44:11
  Speaker 2: You know, that's a trick. I like watching people cook
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: with no talking. It's just a sm r, you know,
• 44:21
  Speaker 2: just they're like chopping up the food and you hear
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: the sizzle and the pan and like it's I don't
• 44:25
  Speaker 2: know why I like it. I love I love watching
• 44:27
  Speaker 2: people do things.
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: Isn't it amazing that you're younger than I am. But
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: when I was growing up in Cleveland, we had three.
• 44:34
  Speaker 2: Channels, right, I remember those days, Yeah.
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: And and and the ship signed off at dude, right, yeah, dad.
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: And you fall asleep with watching TV and that would
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: wake you up, yeah, because it would be just crackling, like,
• 44:48
  Speaker 2: oh Jesus, watch stayed up too late. You have to
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: shut her off after the American flag because the American
• 44:53
  Speaker 2: flag would wave on the.
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: TV, right, Yeah, there would be a match fade from
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: a soldier to the American flag.
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and then it would just go static at two
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: in the morning. And then I remember when Fox came
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: out and everybody's like, this channel is crazy.
• 45:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 45:11
  Speaker 2: Foxes. They had the Simpsons and.
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: Change My Life man, those Tracy Allman, and then of
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: course they discovered that they could get numbers with Me
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: and Living Color and Fox was really important to us.
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: Fox was important to America. I mean it was it
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: was a looser, wilder network. It was like a network
• 45:35
  Speaker 2: that was a little crazier. They were doing things, they
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: were getting nuts.
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: And they had to they had to take some chances
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: and roll the dice in a different way, right, Yeah.
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: And then cable came along. It was like the slow
• 45:46
  Speaker 2: descent into madness. And then also you have one hundred
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: and fifty channels, and now you have like literally an
• 45:53
  Speaker 2: infinite number of channels because of streaming and YouTube. It's
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: you could never run out of things to look at.
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: Which is crazy because I turn a lot and I'm like, yo, motherfucker.
• 46:05
  Speaker 2: They got two.
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: Million stations and you channel chasing, you can't find something.
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: But I'm a big YouTube guy because I don't like commercials.
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: I want what I want, and I want it in
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: small increments. I actually, as a seventy year old, fit
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: more into this culture than I did the culture I
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: was born into. I like things for three minutes. It's
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: fucked me up too, you know. I don't want long shit.
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: I want quick shit, and I'm jumping around.
• 46:34
  Speaker 2: Well, when I'm watching TV, I'm generally trying to check out,
• 46:39
  Speaker 2: you know, or I'm trying to be educated. So either
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: I'm watching some like particle physicists talk about the way
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: they find new particles by using particle colliders and large
• 46:53
  Speaker 2: hadron colliders and the amount of energy required to duplicate
• 46:57
  Speaker 2: the you know, the conditions that happen right after the
• 47:00
  Speaker 2: Big Bang. Well, I watch a lot of that shit,
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: and then I just watched people play pool. I watch
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: people play pool, and I watch you know, people make
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: furniture and people cook. I'm just trying to like unwind.
• 47:14
  Speaker 2: It's trying to like.
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: But that's so heavy. I heard you and Cat talking
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: about the Pyramids, and as a matter of fact, it
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: was part of the reason I was afraid to come
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: here because I've heard you talk about the re explosion
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: of It's just when you hear that kind of shit
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: and you're like, I don't want to be here, it's
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: like pussy crazy, Huh. I don't want to be that guy. Yeah.
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: So it's intimidating to watch intelligent people have an exchange
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: and say I got to go there is it? Oh? Yeah,
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: Well you don't want you don't want to be the
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: first idiot in the room. Nobody O.
• 47:54
  Speaker 2: You definitely want to be the first idiot on the show,
• 47:56
  Speaker 2: and you're not aniot anyway. But if there's been plenty
• 47:59
  Speaker 2: of really fucking dumb people on the show that were great,
• 48:02
  Speaker 2: But do.
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: You know somebody that is really intelligent and conversation with
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: them is intimidating? Oh sure, So I was afraid of
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: this room. I mean, I know people like Bill Clinton.
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: The first time I sat and talked to Bill Clinton,
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: not on the air. The second time, I guess I
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: should say it was kind of daunting because he no
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: matter what your politics is, he's a really smart guy.
• 48:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: Kat Williams is the same way that motherfucker read a
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: lot more books than I read.
• 48:31
  Speaker 2: Well, Cat's brilliant. I mean, you can't be that funny
• 48:35
  Speaker 2: and not be very intelligent.
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: It's the reason Bill Cosby was so funny. He was
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: a bright man.
• 48:41
  Speaker 2: Oh problematic subject also Bill Clinton. I wish Bill Clinton
• 48:50
  Speaker 2: didn't have so many problems because I would like to
• 48:52
  Speaker 2: talk to him. I would love to have to sit
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: down with him on a podcast. You know. The problem is,
• 48:58
  Speaker 2: like how do you sit down and not talk about
• 49:00
  Speaker 2: all the chaos and all the nutty shit and the
• 49:03
  Speaker 2: Epstein files and all the other shit, Like you kind
• 49:06
  Speaker 2: of almost have to talk about it. So it's too
• 49:08
  Speaker 2: bad because I think he's a fascinating person and I
• 49:11
  Speaker 2: think he's one of the greatest presidents of all time,
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: for sure. And if you go back and look at
• 49:16
  Speaker 2: what he accomplished during his administration. They balance the budget.
• 49:21
  Speaker 2: It was like one of the first times in the
• 49:23
  Speaker 2: history of this fucking country that we didn't have a
• 49:25
  Speaker 2: gigantic debt. Now our debt's like thirty nine trillion. It's crazy.
• 49:31
  Speaker 2: Everybody's so bad at balancing the budget. And you go
• 49:34
  Speaker 2: back and listen to him talk when he was running
• 49:35
  Speaker 2: for president, he's like super sensible, like everything he said
• 49:39
  Speaker 2: made sense.
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: And didn't he move a little to the right.
• 49:42
  Speaker 2: Well, I mean it wasn't to the right. It was
• 49:45
  Speaker 2: just sensible, like what is to the right and what
• 49:47
  Speaker 2: is to the left.
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: It's accepting that a lot of things are valuable that
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: are not a part of your party's philosophy. I think
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: we have to be willing to compromise and move a
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: little bit, and that goes for all politicians. We have
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: to be able to move a little bit to be
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: logical and serve all of America.
• 50:09
  Speaker 2: For sure. But I think the problem is parties all
• 50:12
  Speaker 2: have to agree, and they then they form ideologies that
• 50:16
  Speaker 2: you cannot stray from. So if you're one of those
• 50:18
  Speaker 2: people that says, like, hey, maybe in open borders of
• 50:21
  Speaker 2: bad idea because terrorists can come through, Like oh no,
• 50:26
  Speaker 2: there's no one's illegal on stolen land. You know, you
• 50:28
  Speaker 2: get everybody gets crazy because there's a party line that
• 50:32
  Speaker 2: you have to stick with. This is today. Today things
• 50:34
  Speaker 2: are incredibly polarizing. But if you go back and listen
• 50:38
  Speaker 2: to some of the things that Clinton was saying when
• 50:39
  Speaker 2: he was running for president and when he was president, boy,
• 50:43
  Speaker 2: these are like almost right wing talking points in a
• 50:45
  Speaker 2: lot of way, but they need it's not right, but
• 50:48
  Speaker 2: that's not really right wing, it's just sensible. Like what
• 50:52
  Speaker 2: is right and one is left. Left used to be,
• 50:56
  Speaker 2: first of all, freedom of speech was of paramount importance.
• 51:00
  Speaker 2: It used to be that they were very open minded.
• 51:03
  Speaker 2: It used to be like the education was of crucial importance,
• 51:08
  Speaker 2: and that discourse was crucially important, and that you have
• 51:12
  Speaker 2: to look out for citizens in the sense of like
• 51:15
  Speaker 2: having social safety nets and having welfare programs and food
• 51:19
  Speaker 2: stamps and all those things are which are really important
• 51:21
  Speaker 2: for a society because not everybody is in the same
• 51:24
  Speaker 2: position in life. And if we're a community of people,
• 51:27
  Speaker 2: which is what a country's supposed to be You're supposed
• 51:29
  Speaker 2: to look out for everyone, you know, that's sensible. That's
• 51:33
  Speaker 2: what the left used to be, and then it became
• 51:36
  Speaker 2: trans women or women men can get pregnant.
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: And by the way, when you deal with left and right,
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: you have to almost attach a year because we've seen
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: parties change. I'm always reminded that the Democratic Party was
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: the party of the Klan if you go far enough back.
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: So I'm a Republocrat, I have to look at it all.
• 52:00
  Speaker 2: Well, wasn't Lincoln a Republican? Oh? I believe Lincoln was
• 52:05
  Speaker 2: a Republican. I think the Republicans were the ones who
• 52:08
  Speaker 2: were trying to abolish slavery. There was a lot of
• 52:11
  Speaker 2: there's a lot of weird things that shift back and
• 52:14
  Speaker 2: forth and that you think of right wing and left
• 52:18
  Speaker 2: wing in today's standards. Like we were playing a clip
• 52:22
  Speaker 2: of Hillary Clinton the other day when she was running
• 52:24
  Speaker 2: for president. I think it was, was it two thousand
• 52:26
  Speaker 2: and eight or twenty twelve eight she was she was
• 52:30
  Speaker 2: running for president. She's like, if you're here illegal from
• 52:34
  Speaker 2: another country, you should have to pay a stiff penalty,
• 52:37
  Speaker 2: you should have to learn English, and if you have
• 52:41
  Speaker 2: any criminal history, whatsoever, no questions ask you get out
• 52:45
  Speaker 2: of the country, and everyone was cheering, like the lady's maga.
• 52:48
  Speaker 2: That sounds completely maga.
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: That's why I say, when you deal with Democrat Republican,
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: you have to attach a year because it's evolved and
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: changed many times.
• 52:56
  Speaker 2: That's all. You're just being manipulated, and you're being manipulated
• 52:59
  Speaker 2: by these two teams, and you have to pick a team.
• 53:02
  Speaker 2: You have to decide which team you want.
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: I hate that.
• 53:05
  Speaker 2: It's so stupid. I'm politically homeless. I've always been politically
• 53:08
  Speaker 2: I've been politically homeless for a long time. It doesn't
• 53:11
  Speaker 2: neither one of them make any sense to me. We
• 53:13
  Speaker 2: need like a logical centrist government. They're like just says
• 53:18
  Speaker 2: there's a lot of things that we should do to
• 53:21
  Speaker 2: make this country a better place. We can do these
• 53:23
  Speaker 2: things and we don't have to attach them to left
• 53:26
  Speaker 2: or right and anything that the left says that's logical.
• 53:30
  Speaker 2: The people on the right, they immediately dismiss it because
• 53:32
  Speaker 2: it's coming from the left. And that happens the same
• 53:35
  Speaker 2: where the left does it to people on the right.
• 53:37
  Speaker 2: It's dumb, it's a it's a team thing. It's like
• 53:39
  Speaker 2: the Dolphins versus the Raiders. It's just you pick a
• 53:42
  Speaker 2: bucket team and you lay that. You pick a team,
• 53:48
  Speaker 2: and your team rules and the other team sucks. And
• 53:51
  Speaker 2: there's a lot of people out there that are not that.
• 53:54
  Speaker 2: They're not open minded, and they love a good, rigid
• 53:58
  Speaker 2: ideology that they could adhere to. So now I don't
• 54:01
  Speaker 2: have to think for myself. I have a predetermined pattern
• 54:04
  Speaker 2: of opinions that I could just adopt and I'll just
• 54:07
  Speaker 2: accept those And that's how I think, and that's what
• 54:09
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna argue with.
• 54:11
  Speaker 1: When I was young, I used to in some jokes say,
• 54:15
  Speaker 1: my my heart is democratic, but my wallet is republicshed. Yeah,
• 54:20
  Speaker 1: you know, but it's not even that simple anymore. It's
• 54:22
  Speaker 1: gotten much more complicated.
• 54:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, much much more complicated. It's like, you know, everyone
• 54:27
  Speaker 2: should be anti fraud, whether you're on the left or.
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: On the right, unless you're committing fraud, right then I'm
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: pro me.
• 54:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I think a lot of people that you
• 54:38
  Speaker 2: know are certainly benefiting from fraud would like to dismiss it,
• 54:41
  Speaker 2: whether it's the left or the right. Yeah. There's like,
• 54:44
  Speaker 2: we have a problem in this country where we have
• 54:46
  Speaker 2: a two party system, two party systems are inherently flawed
• 54:49
  Speaker 2: because there's no fucking way that one side is going
• 54:52
  Speaker 2: to represent you entirely. And it's much more likely if
• 54:57
  Speaker 2: you have like five, ten, fifteen different parts, they're all
• 55:00
  Speaker 2: legitimate because we don't have another legitimate party. If you
• 55:04
  Speaker 2: vote for libertarian, and I've voted libertarian before, you're basically saying,
• 55:07
  Speaker 2: fuck these people. You know I'm voting.
• 55:10
  Speaker 1: You're jacking up ye dolphin Raider games.
• 55:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm voting for Rugby, So you're basically saying, you're like,
• 55:20
  Speaker 2: I can't get behind either one of these motherfuckers, so
• 55:23
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna vote for this guy who has no chance.
• 55:25
  Speaker 2: You know, I've done that before. I did that with
• 55:28
  Speaker 2: Joe Jorgenson. I did that with Gary Johnson. I voted
• 55:31
  Speaker 2: for both of them.
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: But why do you think we've not been able to
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: come up with legitimate, third, fourth, and fifth parties.
• 55:39
  Speaker 2: Well, they got it locked down. They've got it locked down,
• 55:42
  Speaker 2: and it's with donations and money. Yeah, it's money, money
• 55:44
  Speaker 2: and politics. When they got when they allowed corporations to
• 55:47
  Speaker 2: just essentially give as much as they feel like it,
• 55:50
  Speaker 2: like and when corporations and not just corporations, but other countries.
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: This episode is brought to you by Better Help.
• 55:57
  Speaker 2: A lot of people hit stretches where money gets height
• 56:00
  Speaker 2: and it's not just the bills. It's the constant pressure,
• 56:03
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  Speaker 2: your relationship with finances. It can help you manage the stress, anxiety,
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• 57:16
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, it's not good.
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: It's not good.
• 57:20
  Speaker 2: Money in politics is the real problem. You know it
• 57:23
  Speaker 2: should you know the whole thing. It's a mess. And
• 57:25
  Speaker 2: then you find out how much money politicians make.
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: While TSA guys have nothing. Yeah, and politicians are still
• 57:32
  Speaker 1: getting a motherfucking check.
• 57:33
  Speaker 2: Yes, exactly. Well. I felt that way also about the
• 57:36
  Speaker 2: lockdowns in California. I was like, all these people that
• 57:39
  Speaker 2: are saying that you should have no outdoor dining, your
• 57:42
  Speaker 2: paycheck should be entirely dependent on the GDP of your city,
• 57:45
  Speaker 2: and if your city starts suffering, you should fucking suffer.
• 57:48
  Speaker 2: And I guarantee you want those businesses to open. Write
• 57:51
  Speaker 2: the fuck back up, because it didn't make any sense.
• 57:53
  Speaker 2: They were doing things for optics only, and they were
• 57:56
  Speaker 2: doing things because they like control. People love control, they
• 58:00
  Speaker 2: love it, and once you give them power over people,
• 58:02
  Speaker 2: they're in the control business. They like to keep that
• 58:04
  Speaker 2: control and it just gets gross. And they don't have
• 58:07
  Speaker 2: any there's no repercussions, they don't get in trouble. If
• 58:10
  Speaker 2: all these like California.
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: Somebody should be in trouble for the Epstein files, somebody
• 58:15
  Speaker 1: at least one person.
• 58:16
  Speaker 2: Please.
• 58:17
  Speaker 1: Yes, it's crazy. We're raying around looking at that and
• 58:21
  Speaker 1: we know it and we say it. But ain't a
• 58:23
  Speaker 1: motherfucking thing that we can.
• 58:24
  Speaker 2: Do about it. Right. It's like, right now, there's some
• 58:29
  Speaker 2: talk about journalists getting in trouble for leaking information about
• 58:33
  Speaker 2: the down pilot, and that they want to prosecute these journalists.
• 58:37
  Speaker 2: At the same time, no one's being prosecuted for the
• 58:40
  Speaker 2: Epstein files.
• 58:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's nuts. That's a sick society. As a kid,
• 58:47
  Speaker 1: I did magic, right, and there's a thing in magic.
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: I take a coin and put in this hand. There's
• 58:53
  Speaker 1: a thing called misdirection. That's what I just did to you.
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: You looked at that hand, and I'm doing some shit
• 58:57
  Speaker 1: right here. That's the story of America in politics.
• 59:00
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, whenever something weird is going. Look when Monica Lewinsky,
• 59:04
  Speaker 2: when when Trump, when Bill Clinton got caught with Monica Winsky,
• 59:07
  Speaker 2: they means they're bombing some other Countries' Like, we got
• 59:10
  Speaker 2: to distract these people. This is just too complicated. Look,
• 59:13
  Speaker 2: the Epstein files comes out, we go to war with
• 59:15
  Speaker 2: your on It's it's a good way to get people
• 59:18
  Speaker 2: to stop talking about certain things. You give them a
• 59:20
  Speaker 2: new problem to think about.
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: Hey, this morning, I wake up in a very nice hotel.
• 59:25
  Speaker 1: Thanks to you, Breakfast was paid for, the tip was done,
• 59:28
  Speaker 1: all that shit. It was kind of cool, and I
• 59:32
  Speaker 1: was nervous, and I'm thinking, I'm nervous to go see
• 59:37
  Speaker 1: my guy and talk, which is insane. But then, you know,
• 59:41
  Speaker 1: sometimes you try to focus on why you're really nervous.
• 59:43
  Speaker 1: Why am I so nervous, And I realized it wasn't
• 59:46
  Speaker 1: just coming here. I had watched about a half hour
• 59:49
  Speaker 1: of news and it was making my stomach hurt. Yeah,
• 59:53
  Speaker 1: because I feel so sad on a lot.
• 59:56
  Speaker 2: Of levels, and anxiety. Yes, yes, news just gives me anxiety.
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 1: But I gotta as a comic, I gotta watch because
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 1: I gotta know everything. I gotta have that mental Rolodex loaded. Yes,
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 1: for crowd work or whatever.
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 2: You have to know what's going on in the world. Unfortunately,
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 2: if I wasn't a comic, I would have no social media.
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 2: I would never consume the news. I would just hide.
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 2: I would just like go to a peaceful place. I'd
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 2: probably have a place in the mountain somewhere and just
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 2: fucking chill. I would not want to have anything to
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 2: do with any of this bullshit that's going on in
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 2: the world. And I know people, a lot of people say, oh,
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 2: you have to participate, and it's not like, Man, yeah,
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 2: I guess, but I don't think your participation is having
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 2: the kind of effect that you'd like it to have.
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 2: I think it's having an effect on the way you
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 2: think and feel much more so, like a disproportion effect
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 2: on your mental health and your anxiety levels and all
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 2: these different things that you cannot control by paying attention
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 2: to it. You can't control what these fucking people are doing.
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 2: And it just drives you nuts.
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 1: And it's frustrating because we realize, I mean, you and
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: I are both millionaires, you a lot more than me,
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 1: But at the same time we realize we don't have
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 1: enough money to really affect it.
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 2: I mean you you can affect some things, I guess, yeah,
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 2: not that I think about want to. I don't want
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 2: to affect. If I can affect things in a positive way,
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 2: I can. Yeah, I mean there's some things.
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 1: Affect things by by dispersing information of candidates and for
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 1: helping to inform people. Well, but that kind of money
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 1: that you have to have to have a dinner in
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 1: Malibu and uh, and later get some shit done that
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: you want to get done because the president is your guy.
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 2: Now, yeah or girl. Very complicated, yeah, very and that
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 2: kind of complication comes with a lot of scrutiny and
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 2: a lot of weirdness, and also like you don't really
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 2: know these people you support people like for running for
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 2: president or governor or mayor or whatever. How do you
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 2: how do much tam know them? Are you really sure you?
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 1: Is this?
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 2: Like? Is there no good options? So you go with
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 2: the least evil option?
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 1: Well a lot of us do that, and that's really
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 1: painful to think that the lesser of two evils is
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 1: a horrible thing as a philosophy for a place we
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 1: raise our children.
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, there's no one person that really comes along.
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 2: We're like, finally, like a peaceful, god loving person who's
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 2: just looking out for everybody's best interest, who really only
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 2: wants to do this because they think they can affect change.
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 2: And then once they do try to affect change, they
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 2: get fucking shot because because nobody really wants that, because
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 2: they're all making money.
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 1: When we were coming up, remember the Sam Kennison bit,
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 1: which bit I think it was very similar to that.
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 1: People who have an idea we kill them.
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 2: Oh that was Bill Hicks.
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 1: Oh it's Hicks.
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. Hicks had a great bit
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 2: about that. Yeah, and it's totally true. I mean, anybody
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 2: that really wants to rock the apple cart like that,
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 2: that person's a problem, you know. And all these people
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 2: that are making well, these sociopaths that are making fucking
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 2: billions of dollars just being cunts. They do not want
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 2: you coming along and waking people up to that and saying, hey,
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 2: we should put a stop to all this. We should,
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 2: you know, we should stop these people from it. Like
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 2: that's why people cheered when that guy got shot, the
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 2: United Healthcare guy, he got shot. People were happy. They
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 2: were happy, like finally.
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 1: At first I thought it was I thought homie who
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 1: shot him. I thought it was his eyebrows, you know,
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 1: because women were going crazy. You know, it's a hot guy.
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 1: He's a good looking guy too.
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 2: It's a perfect guy to be like a martyr, like
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 2: an assassin.
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 1: But by the way, have you noticed throughout history good
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 1: looking people get treated differently when it comes to the
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 1: justice system. They've done experimental trials where the hot guy
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 1: gets off for murder easy. Because the eleven women were
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 1: cool women know.
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 2: Well, women are weird with killers. You know, when guys
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 2: are even serial killers when they go to jail, women
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 2: get great, weird marry me, yeah, even like Richard Ramirez
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 2: was getting all these proposals while he was in jail.
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 1: But the ultimate game for a woman is to be
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 1: married but not have to live with that motherfucker. Yeah,
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 1: so that might be kind of cool, yeah, kind of.
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 2: I don't know what it is. I heard someone talk
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 2: about that, saying that there's women that like men that
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 2: are capable of killing. Because back in the day, it
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 2: was if someone was if you needed someone to protect you,
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 2: you didn't. You didn't want someone that would hesitate if
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 2: they were going to kill someone. You wanted someone who
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 2: has experienced killing people. So it's almost like an attractive
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 2: trait that someone's willing to cross that terrible line and
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 2: just has no problem murdering people. And if they like you,
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 2: they won't murder you, but they'll murder other people. Like anybody.
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 2: That's a problem.
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 1: I knew a girl who went out with a couple
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 1: friends in mine and her mo was to do something
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 1: publicly that would make the man whip somebody's as asked
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 1: to defend her honor or something, and she because that
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 1: made her feel better.
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 2: That's a crazy bitch. I've been around people like that before.
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 2: I always got rid of them real quick. I've had
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 2: a few ladies like that.
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 1: Let him say that to me, you know, like, why'd
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 1: you say that to him?
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 2: The fuck? Don't get me involved in this stupid shit.
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 1: But it's hard, man. I was in a club as
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 1: a young man on sunset, left the comedy store, went
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 1: down the street to a place called Carlos and Charlie's.
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: And back then, they had this garment called a tube top. Oh.
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 1: It was just an elastic about elastic piece about eight
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 1: inches or depending on your breast. And I watched a
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 1: dude take his finger and just pull the girl's too
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 1: top down. Titties fell out, and I'm watching her. Man,
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 1: he didn't know what to do, you know, because you
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 1: don't want to fight these guys. You almost want to
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 1: just say, baby, just put up your top, let's go home,
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 1: you know. But he had to fight. Yeah, And in
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 1: that situation, I think you have to fight.
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 2: You just definitely shouldn't be there in the first place.
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 2: That's the problem with going to clubs. You're that's the
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 2: running into the potential psychopath. It's just too like that's
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 2: where they go, where people act like cunts, that's where
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 2: they go.
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 1: When is the last time you went to a club?
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 1: I never go to clubs. No, it's been a long
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 1: time for me. I mean there is no club for
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 1: seventy year olds.
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 2: No, no, No, that's called ARP. Well, if you do go,
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 2: it's sad.
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't want to be the old bar.
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, hey ladies, Yeah, fucking grandpa doing here.
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 1: But but do kids dance? Now, that's a good question.
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 1: My son has has Like I remember a time when
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 1: you say I'm doing the cabbage patch now, you know,
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 1: it's like you knew what the latest dance was. My
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 1: son never dances. I've taken him to New Year's Eve parties.
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 1: He never During the slow record says toll girl, you
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 1: want to dance? You know you go out and slow dance.
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 1: What happened to that?
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 2: That's true? Right, Well, because clubs got associated with violence,
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 2: Like clubs get associated with people getting drunk, they're doing
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 2: drugs and chaos and people getting shot. You know, there's
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 2: just too much of that going on. And you hear
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 2: about that at concerts too. But yeah, you're right, you don't.
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 2: There's no new dances. There's no things that like you
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 2: have to learn, you know, but.
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 1: You know, you know what's replaced it maybe the entire
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 1: family on TikTok.
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 3: Right, TikTok has definitely got dances that you got to learn.
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 1: Really all it is oh really yeah.
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 2: And for people that are right, that's where the dances are,
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 2: that's where the dances. They're not going to clubs, they're
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 2: just d.
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 3: Song just got viral again because they're dancing. The freakun
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 3: a leash. It's a twenty five year old song that
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 3: has got a dance to it.
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 1: What's the dance?
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 3: Show me the dance couldn't even begin to start up.
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 1: I get up here and do it.
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 3: You show you the video?
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 2: You do it? You've been practicing, show me the video.
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 2: What's the what's the corn dance? In my head?
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 3: You're like, get up and do it.
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 2: Do we have to not play the music?
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah? Probably not?
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah music? So this is this is the dance.
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 1: It's a new day. You don't go to a club,
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 1: you do it with your girl.
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 3: I think they made it back on Billboard because you know,
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 3: like the song is, oh, that's hilarious. Somebody plays on it.
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 2: That's hilarious. Nineteen ninety eight, that's old.
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 1: Wow, that's crazy.
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 3: And then to contrast to this is the club in
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 3: Austin everybody goes. They're not necessarily doing those dances.
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 2: What club is this?
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 3: This is called the Concourse.
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 1: Oh see, I can't go to a club with no
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 1: shirt on.
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 2: And what do they do here?
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 3: Like DJs?
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 2: Oh, d just so they just bounce around lasers. This
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 2: is like, yeah, yeah, they just bounce around. They're all
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 2: on ecstasy.
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 3: Everybody stares at the DJ stage like they're performing.
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 2: How weird, thinking, yeah, this is a sign of a
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 2: sick culture. The same different culture, but it is like
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 2: but that there's no the other thing. There's no like
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 2: people dancing, you know, yeah, the old days. Like if
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 2: you go back and you watch like nightclubs from like
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 2: the nineteen sixties and seventies, what was everybody like in
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 2: the disco days? Right, that's perfect.
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 1: When Tramp was saying burn burn his mother down, Yeah damn.
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, people just dancing. Well, I remember when I was
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 2: a kid, Saturday Live Care or Saturday Night Fever rather
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 2: came out, and that's when everybody wanted to learn how
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 2: to dance because John Travalta he could fucking dance, and
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 2: they would have dance offs, and.
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 1: Black people were saying, we got to step up the
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 1: game if this boy can do that, you know, So
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 1: we had to get better, right And.
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 2: Then you had Soul Train right where everybody mor nancing
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 2: on TV.
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, Saturday Morning was that. That was life for me.
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 2: There's no shows where there's like a bunch of people
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 2: performing music on TV.
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 1: And well that's the that's that gap between me and
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 1: you as talkers. One of the problems I had, and
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 1: I talk in the book of about this. I love
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 1: music and I grew up wanting to do that show.
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 1: So when they start telling me, you know, you can
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 1: get better numbers with Howie Mandel just talking, then you
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 1: can with this. Because I put Boys to Men and
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 1: the Temptations together once I had to fly Boys to
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 1: Men from Philly I had, you know, and they wanted
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 1: it less black, and now I got fourteen brothers doing choreography,
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 1: you know, and it's like.
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 2: No, that's not what they wanted it less black.
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 1: Well, oh yeah, they wanted this is the carrot. They said,
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 1: we know Johnny's gonna leave one day. You know, you
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 1: always think it's gonna be so you can inherit his
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 1: audience if you do the right show. But I Joe,
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 1: I used to do the talk show on my basement
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 1: man and we put on a Temptations record and my
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 1: friend Junior would be my guest and he would sing
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 1: get Ready on Soul Train. They lip sync. We knew
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 1: the microphones wasn't plugged in, and so he would sing
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 1: and then I'd interview him. I wanted to do that show.
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 2: But you were doing that when you were young?
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, when did you?
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 2: How old were you when you're doing that?
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 1: Eleven?
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 2: Really? Yeah?
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 1: My mother would have rent parties and so she'd rent
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 1: these card tables and chairs and the people like in
• 1:11:17
  Speaker 1: La we call it town and country. Right, you can
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 1: rent stuff for your party. So the next day they
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 1: come and pick up the stuff in the truck. But
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 1: before they pick it up, I would do a talk
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 1: show with that stuff. And I dreamed of everything that
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 1: I did eventually in my life. Wow, And it was
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 1: the show I wanted to do. So at a certain point,
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 1: when they say, does Prince need a purple piano, you know,
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 1: I said, yeah, he want a purple piano, and the
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 1: show I was doing was just too expensive. And you
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 1: and I talked once at the ice House when I
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 1: tried to do the reboot show. Yeah, and I was
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 1: telling you how complicated it was. They wanted my Twitter site.
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 2: I was telling people, they took over your fucking social
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 2: media and they wouldn't give it back.
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it was hard to get back.
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 2: That's crazy. I remember you telling me that. We were
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 2: standing outside the outside area of the ice House and
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 2: you were like, I can't get my fucking social media back.
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 2: I'm like, that's crazy. They took your social media. Yeah,
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 2: and they would use it to promote other shows.
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 1: Absolutely. In the end of that reboot experience didn't go
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 1: down exactly the way I wanted to, Like, like, I
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 1: got picked up first, and Jay Leno came out and
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 1: read a letter from Les Moonvez that I was picked
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 1: up for a second season. And then we start talking
• 1:12:33
  Speaker 1: about the second season. And here's the great thing they
• 1:12:36
  Speaker 1: wanted you really gotta stop doing the music. As a
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 1: matter of fact, how about no house band? And it's interesting,
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 1: what what but what? But economically speaking, Joe, when I
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 1: look at it, they wanted me to do Joe Rogan
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 1: before there was a Joe Rogan. They just want you
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 1: to talk to people and stop. I'd watched Fallon with
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 1: Will Smith one night and Will Smith rode in on
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 1: a horse, and I'm like, that's expensive.
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 1: They wanted me to do what we're doing right now
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 1: because this is cheaper to do. I would love for
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 1: us to have a hip hop star here right now
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 1: following me, but this is economically sound.
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 2: It's a new day, right So that's all it was.
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 2: It was just a money thing.
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 1: They just well that was the reboot show, the first show,
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 1: you know, if they want me to be in the
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 1: position to inherit Johnny's audience, because that's they wanted me
• 1:13:34
  Speaker 1: and themselves to make more money, a lot of money,
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 1: keep making money. And I was kind of kicking the
• 1:13:40
  Speaker 1: bag because I had wanted to do this show since
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 1: I was a kid. I couldn't imagine.
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 2: The thing is your show was so popular.
• 1:13:50
  Speaker 1: And by the way, they got numbers one night when
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 1: Whitney didn't sing, she just came on and that was
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 1: the kiss of death in my morning meetings because they
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 1: were like, look Whitney saying nothing, and look at the numbers,
• 1:14:03
  Speaker 1: you know. So they were shooting for the Joe Rogan
• 1:14:06
  Speaker 1: experience before there was an experience.
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 2: The fucking people concentrate on the numbers. It's like you're
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 2: missing the tree to go.
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 1: Sometimes, I you know, it's really important for me to
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 1: look back and say, I love that show that I did,
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 1: and I don't regret a moment of it. But I
• 1:14:23
  Speaker 1: get a corporate organization saying we can make more money
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 1: and we can get more people in.
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, if I was a Core I would be a
• 1:14:35
  Speaker 2: terrible corporate executive, by the way.
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 1: Because you would leave your heart.
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I would say, just be you, just have fun
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 2: and whatever ads we get, we get. Whatever money we get,
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 2: we get and that's good. You get plenty, It'll be fine.
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 2: You can't. You gotta let up. It has to. I
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 2: feel like every show has to be a unique expression
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 2: of the person that's hosting it and what they're trying
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 2: to do, like let that person be free. Like he imagined,
• 1:15:04
  Speaker 2: if Quentin Tarantino had to sit down with a group
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 2: of people that were executives before he wrote a script,
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 2: you would never get any of these fucking chaotic, crazy movies.
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 2: They'd be like no, no, no, no, no, you can't bash
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 2: a woman's head on a mantle piece. That's nuts, Like,
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 2: don't do that. No, you can't, you know, like in
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 2: Jackie Brown, No you can't fucking shoot that girl in
• 1:15:24
  Speaker 2: the parking lot. That's nuts. You can't do that. You
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 2: can't do any of these things. You've got to let
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 2: someone just be free and then it finds its audience.
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 1: I remember when Ice Tea came on to explain cop
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 1: Killer and his way of expressiself by the way, yeah yeah,
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 1: and it was a metal band.
• 1:15:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, people don't realize that, Like Ice Tea, people forgot
• 1:15:49
  Speaker 2: body Count was a metal band.
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you got it, search that yo, right.
• 1:15:53
  Speaker 2: A lot of people don't even know that he did that.
• 1:15:56
  Speaker 2: You think of Iced Tea, if you think of six
• 1:15:58
  Speaker 2: in the Morning, you think of Hustler, you think of
• 1:16:01
  Speaker 2: all those classic songs, colors, you think of that, you
• 1:16:05
  Speaker 2: don't think of body Count, which is like Iced team
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 2: reinvented himself and he was like, I always love this
• 1:16:12
  Speaker 2: kind of music.
• 1:16:12
  Speaker 1: You can't tell me what the fuck I do.
• 1:16:14
  Speaker 2: I like this kind of music too.
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 1: Amazing career and now it plays a cop for like
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 1: twenty five years. How about that? For Irony? I knew
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 1: him when he was a pimp and now that's crazy.
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 2: We remember when he was in Pimps Up Hoose Down. Yeah,
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 2: he was in that too. Yeah, I mean he was
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 2: talking about the pimp game. It's hilarious.
• 1:16:36
  Speaker 1: He came on, by the way. They didn't want me
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 1: to do that, you know, book him, but but I
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 1: thought it was I thought it was cool to expose
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 1: America to some conversations they might not hear normally, right.
• 1:16:50
  Speaker 1: And the more power I got, the more I tried
• 1:16:52
  Speaker 1: to push that envelope and do those things. He compared
• 1:16:55
  Speaker 1: it to Schwarzenegger. He says, you don't think he's really determinated, right,
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 1: And he says, I'm not a cop killer. But there's
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 1: a message through this character. And I'm paraphrasing. But it
• 1:17:08
  Speaker 1: was nice to hear people who I know. I would
• 1:17:12
  Speaker 1: talk to Tupac and I would say say that on
• 1:17:15
  Speaker 1: the air. You got to talk about that on the air.
• 1:17:17
  Speaker 1: And that was We didn't have Twitter, we didn't have
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 1: the Bluebird. I was kind of the Blackbird, and I
• 1:17:23
  Speaker 1: was able to have these like Tupac called me once
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 1: and he says, man, they want me to take an
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 1: age test before I do this movie. And unless I'm
• 1:17:32
  Speaker 1: really gonna fuck Janet, I don't think I should have
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 1: to take an age test, and I'm like, please, don't
• 1:17:37
  Speaker 1: say anymore. Just come on the show. And this fit
• 1:17:40
  Speaker 1: into both categories. Come on the show, don't do any music,
• 1:17:44
  Speaker 1: just sit and talk, and those nights would do really good.
• 1:17:47
  Speaker 2: Of course, of course, because people want to hear people
• 1:17:51
  Speaker 2: really talk, especially in those weird settings where most of
• 1:17:55
  Speaker 2: the time when people were coming on talk shows, they
• 1:17:57
  Speaker 2: would just have this like very canned, sort of like
• 1:18:00
  Speaker 2: pre programmed thing that they would talk about. They would
• 1:18:03
  Speaker 2: talk about their character.
• 1:18:05
  Speaker 1: And people don't know we have pre interviews, which you
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 1: don't have in a show like this. But I get
• 1:18:11
  Speaker 1: a card. Yeah that morning it's like, okay, here's what
• 1:18:14
  Speaker 1: Jackie Collins would like to talk about, or or Nicole
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 1: Kidman has requested that you don't mention Tom Cruise, and
• 1:18:24
  Speaker 1: I'm like, well, tend the cold. The only reason that
• 1:18:26
  Speaker 1: Big is here is because I think Tom Cruise is
• 1:18:29
  Speaker 1: gonna walk out, you know. And oh it was it
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 1: was that's crazy.
• 1:18:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well it was all pr people. And it's again
• 1:18:37
  Speaker 2: you're dealing with too many different people that are peripheral
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 2: people where all their money is dependent on this one
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 2: person performing so they just want to make sure they
• 1:18:46
  Speaker 2: make the maximum amount of money possible, Like, don't make
• 1:18:49
  Speaker 2: any ripples, don't cause any waves, don't cause any problems.
• 1:18:52
  Speaker 2: Just go out there and smile and yeah, don't mess
• 1:18:56
  Speaker 2: We'll sell more records, we'll sell more movies. TV show
• 1:18:58
  Speaker 2: will get better ratings. Don't mess it up.
• 1:19:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Guys like Prince used to be frustrated with the
• 1:19:04
  Speaker 1: fact that if something's a hit, can you give us
• 1:19:07
  Speaker 1: something like that again? How many beats per second? Is
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 1: that give us that again? Or any big artists. It's
• 1:19:13
  Speaker 1: like we want more of waterfalls?
• 1:19:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, No, Prince. Prince was one of the most
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 2: revolutionary artists ever. And people that don't know the early stuff,
• 1:19:26
  Speaker 2: they don't know how crazy it was that this guy
• 1:19:28
  Speaker 2: was house song called head, just singing about getting head.
• 1:19:33
  Speaker 1: First time I saw him, he was opening for the
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 1: Rolling Stones. Wow, and the audience didn't dig him because
• 1:19:40
  Speaker 1: it was different back then, and he was singing soft
• 1:19:42
  Speaker 1: and wet right right.
• 1:19:46
  Speaker 2: Well. Prince was just he was so unique man, and.
• 1:19:49
  Speaker 1: He predicted a lot of the things that we're dealing
• 1:19:51
  Speaker 1: with now and going through. I remember the first time
• 1:19:53
  Speaker 1: he talked about what became napster, and he talked about
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 1: owning your own property and what was gonna happen slave
• 1:20:01
  Speaker 1: on his jah and we thought that was silly, but
• 1:20:04
  Speaker 1: it meant something.
• 1:20:05
  Speaker 2: Well, he was dealing with these crazy contracts where these
• 1:20:10
  Speaker 2: record companies, these predatory record companies, would lock you into
• 1:20:14
  Speaker 2: these contracts and they fucking owned you. So his response
• 1:20:17
  Speaker 2: to that was like, Okay, I won't perform as prince anymore.
• 1:20:20
  Speaker 2: Now I'm fucking this shit. I'm this symbol.
• 1:20:23
  Speaker 1: I'm a symbol.
• 1:20:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, insignia, what are you gonna do now, I'm a symbol.
• 1:20:27
  Speaker 2: I'm not even selling myself as prince. And he would
• 1:20:30
  Speaker 2: just I mean, how revolutionary is that? This guy said, Okay,
• 1:20:34
  Speaker 2: I know the work around. I won't use my name anymore.
• 1:20:37
  Speaker 2: I'll just be a symbol. He was, but he was
• 1:20:40
  Speaker 2: such a bad motherfucker. The people like, I know who
• 1:20:42
  Speaker 2: that is. I don't care what that fucking symbol is.
• 1:20:45
  Speaker 2: That's Prince. Well let him saying let him do things.
• 1:20:48
  Speaker 1: Did you ever meet him?
• 1:20:49
  Speaker 2: No? I had one opportunity to fucking see him live, yea,
• 1:20:53
  Speaker 2: and I blew.
• 1:20:54
  Speaker 1: It at the Great Western form No, it was.
• 1:20:56
  Speaker 2: At it was at one of the hotels in Vega.
• 1:21:00
  Speaker 2: But it was a really late show and I had
• 1:21:03
  Speaker 2: a show earlier that night, and there said and Prince
• 1:21:07
  Speaker 2: was doing small shows back then. It was like this small,
• 1:21:10
  Speaker 2: like intimate audience. But it was like after midnight. I
• 1:21:13
  Speaker 2: was like, I'm fucking tired. I'm gonna go to sleep,
• 1:21:15
  Speaker 2: and this is like the ah, I fucked up, man,
• 1:21:18
  Speaker 2: I fucked up. It's like when his career was in
• 1:21:21
  Speaker 2: a weird place because he wasn't doing like big shows anymore,
• 1:21:25
  Speaker 2: and he was doing this late night show and people
• 1:21:28
  Speaker 2: were saying it was really good. I was like, I'm tired,
• 1:21:30
  Speaker 2: I'm not gonna see this. And then years later when
• 1:21:32
  Speaker 2: he was dead, I was like, got it, that fuck up.
• 1:21:34
  Speaker 2: I always thought Prince was gonna be around.
• 1:21:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and we lost Prince to fentanyl. Yeah, an elevator,
• 1:21:42
  Speaker 1: God damn. I remember the Music Cology album where he
• 1:21:47
  Speaker 1: toured and he attached the album to the ticket, so
• 1:21:51
  Speaker 1: that when you bought a ticket, you were buying an
• 1:21:54
  Speaker 1: album and it instantly became a million dollar seller. With
• 1:21:57
  Speaker 1: that philosophy he had, Genie is that was way ahead
• 1:22:01
  Speaker 1: of the pimps. Yeah, I love it.
• 1:22:04
  Speaker 2: He just knew that he was being fucked and he
• 1:22:07
  Speaker 2: knew that all they're selling is his brilliance. They don't
• 1:22:11
  Speaker 2: have anything. What is a record company selling. They're only
• 1:22:14
  Speaker 2: selling the art, that's it. They don't make it, and.
• 1:22:17
  Speaker 1: They get selling a penny of copy.
• 1:22:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, the record company was getting most of it.
• 1:22:23
  Speaker 2: And now it makes even less sense because nobody even
• 1:22:26
  Speaker 2: buys albums anymore. Like, how the fuck are these record
• 1:22:28
  Speaker 2: companies even surviving. It's so crazy that they still figure
• 1:22:34
  Speaker 2: out a way they lash their tentacles onto these young artists.
• 1:22:37
  Speaker 2: And for young artists, they feel like they've made it
• 1:22:39
  Speaker 2: when they're a part of a record deal, like I
• 1:22:42
  Speaker 2: got a deal, And I almost want to tell them,
• 1:22:44
  Speaker 2: like you gotta deal with the devil. Like if you
• 1:22:47
  Speaker 2: just put your shit on YouTube or on SoundCloud or
• 1:22:50
  Speaker 2: anywhere where people hear it and they start sharing it,
• 1:22:53
  Speaker 2: you'll be huge.
• 1:22:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we're getting smarter and learning how to deal with
• 1:22:58
  Speaker 1: the pimps that yes, you know I talk in the
• 1:23:02
  Speaker 1: book about Prince also had a great sense of humor.
• 1:23:05
  Speaker 1: You would have loved him, you know, as a person
• 1:23:09
  Speaker 1: beyond the musician. And there was a time when I
• 1:23:12
  Speaker 1: was hosting the MTV Awards and he had no ass
• 1:23:15
  Speaker 1: in his pants, and you know, so when he's coming
• 1:23:22
  Speaker 1: past me down the hall, I realize, oh shit, because
• 1:23:26
  Speaker 1: this motherfucker, I know ass in his pants, will be
• 1:23:29
  Speaker 1: talking about this tomorrow. So obviously, when I get back
• 1:23:32
  Speaker 1: to the show, my first monologue is about that night.
• 1:23:35
  Speaker 2: Yes, nineteen ninety one. Isn't that crazy?
• 1:23:43
  Speaker 1: That was?
• 1:23:43
  Speaker 2: That was nuts nineteen ninety one.
• 1:23:46
  Speaker 1: So I do jokes about that in the mono Marus
• 1:23:49
  Speaker 1: And like a week or two after the jokes, I
• 1:23:54
  Speaker 1: get a box in the mail at Paramount and it's
• 1:23:58
  Speaker 1: from Prince and I opened it. I figure it's maybe
• 1:24:02
  Speaker 1: a hoodie. I opened it and it's a beautiful black
• 1:24:06
  Speaker 1: and white suit with all the Prince symbols on. It
• 1:24:09
  Speaker 1: made me look like I was the drummer for New
• 1:24:11
  Speaker 1: Power Generation or something. It was a cool, cool suit
• 1:24:14
  Speaker 1: and I'm looking at it and my assistant said, turn
• 1:24:18
  Speaker 1: it around. I turned it around. There was no ass
• 1:24:25
  Speaker 1: did you wear make Hell no, not even at the crib.
• 1:24:31
  Speaker 1: I never put it on. It's like I could never
• 1:24:34
  Speaker 1: bring myself to put it on. That suit. It had
• 1:24:36
  Speaker 1: no back. Joe hilarious, But that's his sense of humor.
• 1:24:40
  Speaker 2: That's hilarious. That's so funny.
• 1:24:42
  Speaker 1: I took him to an after hours joint once. I
• 1:24:44
  Speaker 1: talk about that in the book of because he was
• 1:24:47
  Speaker 1: very interested in what people listen to and what moves
• 1:24:50
  Speaker 1: people in clubs. And I told him about an after
• 1:24:53
  Speaker 1: hours joint down the way south of Wiltshire that was
• 1:24:55
  Speaker 1: in a lady's house and you have put pit bulls
• 1:24:58
  Speaker 1: and a fence and they let you in. They locked
• 1:25:01
  Speaker 1: the chain back, bring you to the back and you know,
• 1:25:04
  Speaker 1: you put money on the counter and they put your
• 1:25:07
  Speaker 1: liquor in a solo cup. You know, not a legal place.
• 1:25:11
  Speaker 1: And I told him about the place and he said,
• 1:25:13
  Speaker 1: I want to go, and I took him down the
• 1:25:17
  Speaker 1: way to this spot. He had an acrylic cane and
• 1:25:21
  Speaker 1: a suit where the shoes match the suit exact same material.
• 1:25:25
  Speaker 1: And he sat with me in this after hours joint
• 1:25:30
  Speaker 1: and listened to the music and it was where the
• 1:25:33
  Speaker 1: strippers a year was oh god. This was maybe two
• 1:25:37
  Speaker 1: years after I left the talk show.
• 1:25:39
  Speaker 2: And so did he need the cane back then? Was
• 1:25:42
  Speaker 2: that when he was having hip problems?
• 1:25:43
  Speaker 1: I think so now we understand that maybe he had
• 1:25:46
  Speaker 1: a replacement, a hip replacement or something. I thought it
• 1:25:50
  Speaker 1: was fashion, but it probably was a little necessary that year,
• 1:25:54
  Speaker 1: and he.
• 1:25:54
  Speaker 2: Said he was all his dancing and.
• 1:25:56
  Speaker 1: Oh he should jump off speakers. Yeah, land with heels.
• 1:26:02
  Speaker 2: So that's what fucked him up. Yeah, yeah, that's well.
• 1:26:09
  Speaker 2: He probably was struggling even back then because there's a
• 1:26:12
  Speaker 2: lot of guys that blew their their hips out. Yeah,
• 1:26:17
  Speaker 2: he probably needed.
• 1:26:18
  Speaker 1: It because he was an athlete per se.
• 1:26:20
  Speaker 2: Oh for sure. I mean his dancing was insane.
• 1:26:23
  Speaker 1: And he was a good basketball player. Wait, I have
• 1:26:27
  Speaker 1: one of those. He the hat with the police hat
• 1:26:30
  Speaker 1: with the chain. He sent me that one day, so
• 1:26:34
  Speaker 1: I'm sure there are a few of them, but just
• 1:26:36
  Speaker 1: to have one of those from him, And he sent
• 1:26:38
  Speaker 1: me what looks like a Smith and Wesson thirty eight long,
• 1:26:44
  Speaker 1: but it was fixed up so the microphone was where
• 1:26:48
  Speaker 1: the barrel is so he could hold a gun and
• 1:26:50
  Speaker 1: sing into it like that. I have that.
• 1:26:52
  Speaker 2: Oh, very cool, very cool. I became good friends with
• 1:26:55
  Speaker 2: Charlie Murphy, and Charlie had I'll look at that. Yes, wow, ah, wow.
• 1:27:04
  Speaker 1: I have one of those. I don't know how many
• 1:27:05
  Speaker 1: of there were, but I have one from that.
• 1:27:07
  Speaker 2: That's crazy.
• 1:27:09
  Speaker 1: Wow. But Charlie Murphy, well.
• 1:27:12
  Speaker 2: Charlie had all those great stories about Prince and a
• 1:27:15
  Speaker 2: Jonne Chappelle's show. Yeah, you know, I mean that was
• 1:27:17
  Speaker 2: like that whole segment of like how good Prince was
• 1:27:20
  Speaker 2: as a basketball and that people didn't believe it because
• 1:27:23
  Speaker 2: you know, he's so short. But meanwhile, he could fucking
• 1:27:25
  Speaker 2: play like a motherfucker.
• 1:27:27
  Speaker 1: He had. He had a crossover mood that was crazy,
• 1:27:30
  Speaker 1: and he could roun escape and I mean amazing with
• 1:27:35
  Speaker 1: a lollipop back on ship on one foot.
• 1:27:38
  Speaker 2: You know, So he was he was an athlete. Yeah, really,
• 1:27:42
  Speaker 2: I mean you can't dance like that and not have
• 1:27:44
  Speaker 2: incredible body control. Yeah, but the problem is when you're
• 1:27:48
  Speaker 2: doing show after show after show after show after show
• 1:27:50
  Speaker 2: for years, you're tearing your fucking joints apart. And that's
• 1:27:53
  Speaker 2: probably what blew his hips out.
• 1:27:55
  Speaker 1: That's one thing about us, with the exception of the
• 1:27:57
  Speaker 1: ships you used to do on a stool, that balancing act.
• 1:28:00
  Speaker 2: Oh, the Kardashian joke.
• 1:28:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, our joke, our life of jokes isn't very fit. Weak. No,
• 1:28:06
  Speaker 1: you know, all we got to do is take care
• 1:28:07
  Speaker 1: from the neck up, take care of your mind. Yeah,
• 1:28:10
  Speaker 1: our body. No comedian has a bad hip.
• 1:28:13
  Speaker 2: Well, you generally don't get it from performing on stage.
• 1:28:16
  Speaker 2: As for sure. But when you're dancing and jumping around
• 1:28:19
  Speaker 2: and doing all that shit like Ted Nugent bleu is
• 1:28:21
  Speaker 2: his knees out, jumping off of speakers like a lot
• 1:28:25
  Speaker 2: of people did that. They just they went crazy. They
• 1:28:27
  Speaker 2: were just putting on a show and you don't realize
• 1:28:29
  Speaker 2: you're doing it. Maynard from Tool he blew his hip out,
• 1:28:33
  Speaker 2: stomping on the ground all the time. Wow, just stomping
• 1:28:35
  Speaker 2: while we was singing. He had to get a hip orplacement.
• 1:28:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I like being a stand up.
• 1:28:41
  Speaker 2: Well, it's definitely easier on the body, that's true. You know,
• 1:28:45
  Speaker 2: you still get up on stage ever, Oh yeah, all
• 1:28:47
  Speaker 2: the time.
• 1:28:47
  Speaker 1: I'm going in your own club. Yeah, what nights do
• 1:28:50
  Speaker 1: you go up?
• 1:28:51
  Speaker 2: Usually Tuesday Wednesday? I do it, but I do it,
• 1:28:53
  Speaker 2: you know, off nights too, different nights, But Tuesday and
• 1:28:56
  Speaker 2: Wednesday almost every week I do a show there.
• 1:28:58
  Speaker 1: I promised my woman I wouldn't go to the mother Ship.
• 1:29:01
  Speaker 1: When I told her, she's like, when you go, I
• 1:29:05
  Speaker 1: want to go. It's a big deal if you're a comic,
• 1:29:08
  Speaker 1: you know, I mean, it's it's a huge deal. But
• 1:29:12
  Speaker 1: I want to come one night, fly in and just
• 1:29:15
  Speaker 1: just let me have ten, dude, you.
• 1:29:17
  Speaker 2: Can go up anytime. You can go up tonight if
• 1:29:18
  Speaker 2: you want. I got a show tonight.
• 1:29:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I got to fly home and I'm still slinging
• 1:29:24
  Speaker 1: this book.
• 1:29:25
  Speaker 2: Anytime, anytime you want to come by and do what set,
• 1:29:28
  Speaker 2: You're more than welcome.
• 1:29:29
  Speaker 1: I love it hang out. Everybody's been so friendly.
• 1:29:32
  Speaker 2: The green room is an amazing hang too.
• 1:29:34
  Speaker 1: That's what I hear. But i've heard both sides of that.
• 1:29:37
  Speaker 1: I've heard, don't be in that motherfucker if you're not
• 1:29:39
  Speaker 1: supposed to.
• 1:29:40
  Speaker 2: Well, the problem is you don't want anybody coming in
• 1:29:42
  Speaker 2: and fucking up the conversation, you know, so you know,
• 1:29:45
  Speaker 2: you got to be kind of vetted. But it's only
• 1:29:48
  Speaker 2: like during shows when you're not on, you know, if
• 1:29:51
  Speaker 2: like if it's a show and you're on the show,
• 1:29:54
  Speaker 2: everyone's allowed to be in the green room. It's just
• 1:29:57
  Speaker 2: like we don't allow people just to come in of nowhere.
• 1:30:00
  Speaker 2: There's like, you're from out of town, you want to
• 1:30:02
  Speaker 2: come in and hang out in the green room. Then
• 1:30:04
  Speaker 2: there's too many people in the green room. Yeah, and
• 1:30:05
  Speaker 2: then people have to prepare they're going over their notes.
• 1:30:07
  Speaker 2: The green room is supposed to be a hang with
• 1:30:10
  Speaker 2: the comics on the show that are getting ready to
• 1:30:13
  Speaker 2: go on stage. And the problem is that's the cool spot.
• 1:30:15
  Speaker 2: That's where Shane Gillis is, and Ron White is, Tony
• 1:30:18
  Speaker 2: Hinchcliffe is. Everybody wants to come in, and you know,
• 1:30:21
  Speaker 2: it gets it gets to be a little bit of
• 1:30:23
  Speaker 2: a problem. So you can't go in the green room
• 1:30:25
  Speaker 2: if you're not on the show unless we know who
• 1:30:27
  Speaker 2: you are and you know you're in down you want
• 1:30:29
  Speaker 2: to come hang but it's like, you know, it's like
• 1:30:31
  Speaker 2: you're having a party. You can't let everybody in the
• 1:30:33
  Speaker 2: promise everybody wants to be there.
• 1:30:35
  Speaker 1: I mean, look at the level I'm at and how
• 1:30:37
  Speaker 1: long I've been doing it, and I know about the
• 1:30:39
  Speaker 1: green room and want to get in there.
• 1:30:42
  Speaker 2: Get it. You can get it anytime.
• 1:30:43
  Speaker 1: But when you were in living in Hollywood still, did
• 1:30:48
  Speaker 1: your kids ever want to act?
• 1:30:50
  Speaker 2: No, No, they're not interested in that. Yeah, never wanted to,
• 1:30:53
  Speaker 2: Thank god, No, they wouldn't. First of all, rich kids
• 1:30:57
  Speaker 2: are not going to be good stand ups. You're not
• 1:31:02
  Speaker 2: gonna be able to deal with the torture of bombing,
• 1:31:05
  Speaker 2: you know, And they don't have to and they don't
• 1:31:07
  Speaker 2: have pain, you know, their pain is so minor in
• 1:31:11
  Speaker 2: comparison to the pain of poverty, the pain of struggle,
• 1:31:14
  Speaker 2: the pain of you know, not getting enough attention when
• 1:31:17
  Speaker 2: you're young, and you know, moving around a lot, all
• 1:31:19
  Speaker 2: the different shit that most comics go through. I've never
• 1:31:22
  Speaker 2: met a good comic cad a great childhood.
• 1:31:25
  Speaker 1: As you're talking, I'm thinking, I'm like, do we know
• 1:31:28
  Speaker 1: any comics who are good who are from wealth.
• 1:31:31
  Speaker 2: None. I don't know any. I'm sure they can exist.
• 1:31:34
  Speaker 2: I'm sure it's possible, but it takes a very exceptional
• 1:31:37
  Speaker 2: person to want to be a great comic that's grew
• 1:31:40
  Speaker 2: up wealthy. It's just not a thing that they seek
• 1:31:44
  Speaker 2: to do.
• 1:31:45
  Speaker 1: So much comedy comes from our pain.
• 1:31:48
  Speaker 2: I think the only exception to that would be the
• 1:31:49
  Speaker 2: Waynes Brothers, because the sons of the Waynes Brothers all
• 1:31:54
  Speaker 2: went on to be great comics. They all went on
• 1:31:57
  Speaker 2: to have big careers and movies and films and television.
• 1:32:00
  Speaker 2: But I think that's it's like a family thing over there.
• 1:32:03
  Speaker 2: Like I remember Damon telling me that he set up
• 1:32:05
  Speaker 2: a stage in his house.
• 1:32:07
  Speaker 1: Mm hmm, that's absolutely true.
• 1:32:09
  Speaker 2: Well, there's just I mean, they love stand up so much.
• 1:32:11
  Speaker 2: They would fucking do stand up for each other just
• 1:32:13
  Speaker 2: fuck around. I used to see first of all, I
• 1:32:17
  Speaker 2: think to this day, Damon is one of the most
• 1:32:20
  Speaker 2: underappreciated great comics of all time.
• 1:32:23
  Speaker 1: And he's back out there now. I noticed in my room, Uh,
• 1:32:27
  Speaker 1: Damon is at the imprivate.
• 1:32:29
  Speaker 2: He's always been no, no, no, he never quit. He
• 1:32:32
  Speaker 2: was always doing stand up. But he's low key about it.
• 1:32:34
  Speaker 2: He makes his money off of television, you know. And
• 1:32:37
  Speaker 2: even like he wanted to do what we talked years
• 1:32:39
  Speaker 2: ago about him coming on my podcast, and he was like,
• 1:32:43
  Speaker 2: I'd like to, but I'll say some crazy shit and
• 1:32:45
  Speaker 2: then I'll get in trouble because he was in that
• 1:32:48
  Speaker 2: what I call the velvet prison, the TV velvet prison.
• 1:32:51
  Speaker 2: You're doing TV shows, you're playing a dad on a
• 1:32:54
  Speaker 2: TV show. You know, you can't come on a podcast
• 1:32:57
  Speaker 2: talk about getting your dick sucked.
• 1:32:59
  Speaker 1: It's just Howie Mandel goes through that. I work with
• 1:33:02
  Speaker 1: him a lot, and how he is on America's Got
• 1:33:05
  Speaker 1: Talent exactly, this real commercial television vehicle. But nobody is
• 1:33:11
  Speaker 1: more real and edgy than Howie Mandel.
• 1:33:15
  Speaker 2: When he's on stage and in the green room hanging
• 1:33:18
  Speaker 2: out like he's done sets of the Mothership. He's coming
• 1:33:20
  Speaker 2: hung out with us. Yeah, he can't. He did my
• 1:33:22
  Speaker 2: podcast and he came to the club. He's like, fuck,
• 1:33:24
  Speaker 2: I want to be like that. I want to do
• 1:33:26
  Speaker 2: what you guys are doing. I'm like, you can, you
• 1:33:28
  Speaker 2: can do it. But he's worried that he would lose
• 1:33:31
  Speaker 2: that velvet prison.
• 1:33:32
  Speaker 1: Hey, when we're working and they have the phones and bags,
• 1:33:37
  Speaker 1: that's when he's amazing. Yes, because he'll he'll drop the
• 1:33:40
  Speaker 1: sea bomb in a minute.
• 1:33:41
  Speaker 2: He was saying it. He was saying on stage, I'm
• 1:33:43
  Speaker 2: just so happy I can say cunt. Yeah, you want
• 1:33:45
  Speaker 2: to say it. But he was funny. It was like
• 1:33:48
  Speaker 2: he was having a good time. He was loose, and
• 1:33:51
  Speaker 2: you could tell. It's like because Howie was a great comic.
• 1:33:54
  Speaker 2: Like Howie had some hilarious fucking species.
• 1:33:57
  Speaker 1: I hated following him at the Westwood Comedy Store. Mitzy
• 1:34:00
  Speaker 1: used to send us there to get better me him
• 1:34:03
  Speaker 1: and Paullie. That's the one thing I loved about her.
• 1:34:06
  Speaker 1: You know how we have nepo babies. She didn't have
• 1:34:09
  Speaker 1: no nepo baby. She was like, Pollie, you're not ready,
• 1:34:12
  Speaker 1: yeah Westwood.
• 1:34:14
  Speaker 2: Oh she made Poulli work. Yeah, I mean, Paulie's a
• 1:34:18
  Speaker 2: rare dude in that regard, Like he became a really
• 1:34:21
  Speaker 2: funny comedian while he was, you know, living with a
• 1:34:25
  Speaker 2: woman who's the greats in terms of like people in
• 1:34:30
  Speaker 2: comedy that are like some of the most critical important people.
• 1:34:34
  Speaker 2: She's the most important person in the history of comedy
• 1:34:36
  Speaker 2: that's not a comic.
• 1:34:38
  Speaker 1: Absolutely, there is no argument.
• 1:34:40
  Speaker 2: No argument, there's no one even close to her and
• 1:34:43
  Speaker 2: her son, you know, I mean, went on to have
• 1:34:45
  Speaker 2: huge success.
• 1:34:46
  Speaker 1: And I took I took Mitzi. Remember when we had
• 1:34:49
  Speaker 1: the universal amphitheater. I got tickets and took Mitzi to
• 1:34:55
  Speaker 1: see Paulie open for Sam Kinnison. Wow, And it just
• 1:35:00
  Speaker 1: blew her away because she had never seen him in
• 1:35:02
  Speaker 1: that large environment and it was really cool. That's watch
• 1:35:05
  Speaker 1: her son.
• 1:35:06
  Speaker 2: Well, she let she let him grow the right way.
• 1:35:10
  Speaker 2: You know she didn't. She didn't give him a silver spoon.
• 1:35:13
  Speaker 1: By the way, start at the comedy store. And she's
• 1:35:16
  Speaker 1: the mother of Paulie Shore. Because I say Mitzi to
• 1:35:19
  Speaker 1: you like it's a cousin, right.
• 1:35:21
  Speaker 2: Well, we talk about her so much. I think a
• 1:35:23
  Speaker 2: lot of people listening know, but she's the most important
• 1:35:27
  Speaker 2: person in comedy that wasn't a comic. And more important
• 1:35:30
  Speaker 2: than most comedians, like she would tell you how to
• 1:35:33
  Speaker 2: do it right. And if she liked you, man.
• 1:35:36
  Speaker 1: She tell you how to do it in her opinion.
• 1:35:41
  Speaker 1: I've seen her tell some people some crazy shit. Oh yeah,
• 1:35:43
  Speaker 1: she was on right a lot of times.
• 1:35:45
  Speaker 2: She had some wild ideas that.
• 1:35:47
  Speaker 1: We had a girl put on a green wig one time,
• 1:35:49
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, I'm not sure, you know, but she
• 1:35:52
  Speaker 1: was trying to find some kind of hook for this girl,
• 1:35:55
  Speaker 1: you know, like, if you don't want to have to
• 1:35:56
  Speaker 1: wear the green wig, go home and figure out a hook.
• 1:36:00
  Speaker 2: She she made Joey Diaz call himself fat baby. She
• 1:36:06
  Speaker 2: she when you would look at the lineup, like, I
• 1:36:09
  Speaker 2: bet you can find it online. If you look, there's
• 1:36:11
  Speaker 2: lineups from the comedy store'll be a bunch of comedians,
• 1:36:14
  Speaker 2: Bill Burr blah blah blah. And then you'd see fat baby.
• 1:36:17
  Speaker 2: And that was Joey Dia. She would call him fat baby.
• 1:36:19
  Speaker 2: She would wouldn't even let him use his fucking name
• 1:36:23
  Speaker 2: in the lineup. It would be fat baby.
• 1:36:25
  Speaker 1: I remember having a conversation with her and Paul, and
• 1:36:29
  Speaker 1: Paul was exacerbating the problem because she was like Rodriguez. Uh,
• 1:36:33
  Speaker 1: Paul Mooney, Oh, Mooney talking, and Mitchy's about to start
• 1:36:41
  Speaker 1: the Belly Room because she thinks women need a place
• 1:36:44
  Speaker 1: to perform and to get better.
• 1:36:47
  Speaker 2: That was what the Belly Room originally was, was a.
• 1:36:49
  Speaker 1: Little college up there, yeah, for ladies. And she was
• 1:36:51
  Speaker 1: trying to think of a name for it, and she says,
• 1:36:55
  Speaker 1: I'm also thinking about having one night of just black comics,
• 1:36:59
  Speaker 1: you know, because there was only George Wallace, Dave Tyree
• 1:37:02
  Speaker 1: and Mooney at one time when I arrived and what
• 1:37:06
  Speaker 1: year was on? I came in nineteen eighty New Year's Eve. Wow.
• 1:37:11
  Speaker 1: I drove out from Chicago because I'm from Cleveland and
• 1:37:14
  Speaker 1: there were no comedy clubs in Cleveland back then, so
• 1:37:16
  Speaker 1: I had to go to New York, LA or Chicago.
• 1:37:18
  Speaker 1: And my mother was living in Chicago at that time,
• 1:37:20
  Speaker 1: so I went there because rent was free for a
• 1:37:23
  Speaker 1: while and that was a lot of fun. But MITSI
• 1:37:29
  Speaker 1: for the Black Knight. She said, Paul, what do you
• 1:37:32
  Speaker 1: think I should call him? And and she says, I
• 1:37:34
  Speaker 1: was thinking Cotton Comedy and I'm no, Mitzy, no, no,
• 1:37:40
  Speaker 1: you can't, you can't. And I was trying to explain why,
• 1:37:42
  Speaker 1: and Paul was like, oh, that's wonderful. Let's say that's
• 1:37:47
  Speaker 1: exactly what you call it. Oh homie, oh homie Cotton comedy.
• 1:37:53
  Speaker 1: He was cool.
• 1:37:55
  Speaker 2: Oh man Paul that that guy would write and there'd
• 1:37:58
  Speaker 2: be something that would happen in the news, like the
• 1:38:00
  Speaker 2: day before, and Mooney would go on stage and have
• 1:38:03
  Speaker 2: like fifteen minutes on it and just crush.
• 1:38:05
  Speaker 1: And he did something that I know, I hate it.
• 1:38:08
  Speaker 1: He requested the last spot. Oh. He loved that, wanted
• 1:38:11
  Speaker 1: to go on late, wanted to stay on as long
• 1:38:13
  Speaker 1: as he wanted, and would fuck with you if you
• 1:38:15
  Speaker 1: tried to get up. Mmmm, oh you don't like a
• 1:38:19
  Speaker 1: smart nigga, But don't leave too early. My friend's at
• 1:38:24
  Speaker 1: your house robbing that.
• 1:38:26
  Speaker 2: He would have so many things like that, so many hooks,
• 1:38:29
  Speaker 2: and he was just so good at working those small crowds.
• 1:38:32
  Speaker 2: He just liked the freedom of just being able to
• 1:38:34
  Speaker 2: fuck around, you know, with a bottle of champagne with
• 1:38:37
  Speaker 2: a straw, little tiny bottle. Yeah, and he would he
• 1:38:41
  Speaker 2: would sip on it during punch lies.
• 1:38:43
  Speaker 1: Oh nigga, please and take.
• 1:38:47
  Speaker 2: We all used to sit in the back and watch him.
• 1:38:49
  Speaker 2: It's like, if you thought you were good at comedy,
• 1:38:50
  Speaker 2: you'd watch Mooney and go God. I got so much
• 1:38:52
  Speaker 2: to learn. Yeah, I got so much to learn.
• 1:38:54
  Speaker 1: All the great comics that we know now. At one
• 1:38:58
  Speaker 1: time would sit in the back of the oar and
• 1:39:02
  Speaker 1: come late to watch Paul.
• 1:39:04
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 1:39:05
  Speaker 1: I used to on the land line. I used to
• 1:39:07
  Speaker 1: call Keenan and say, Yo, I'll meet you there. We
• 1:39:09
  Speaker 1: were going to see Mooney at one fifteen.
• 1:39:12
  Speaker 2: I would always love to see Mooney when something fucked
• 1:39:14
  Speaker 2: up happened in the news, like if it was something
• 1:39:17
  Speaker 2: fucked up happened in the news, like when's Paul going up? Yeah,
• 1:39:19
  Speaker 2: you know, it's just like you had to go see
• 1:39:21
  Speaker 2: him because he always had a take, and you know
• 1:39:24
  Speaker 2: that take was always like oh shit. You know, it's
• 1:39:27
  Speaker 2: like he would get you. He would like find an
• 1:39:30
  Speaker 2: angle or you'd be like, oh my god, oh my god.
• 1:39:33
  Speaker 2: He was he was so clever.
• 1:39:35
  Speaker 1: The coolest conversations at the comedy when Richard would come
• 1:39:39
  Speaker 1: up every night and Richard would go from five minutes
• 1:39:41
  Speaker 1: to an hour, and then it would become a great
• 1:39:43
  Speaker 1: special that you go to at the theater to see.
• 1:39:46
  Speaker 1: When I would watch Paul Mooney before we had cell phones,
• 1:39:50
  Speaker 1: after it was over, Richard would go and have a
• 1:39:51
  Speaker 1: cigarette in the main room, like on a Monday or Sunday,
• 1:39:54
  Speaker 1: I think it would be closed, and that's where he
• 1:39:56
  Speaker 1: would would call it holding court. He would go in
• 1:39:59
  Speaker 1: there first and just want to dry off for a minute,
• 1:40:02
  Speaker 1: smoke a cigarette, and Paul would come in with a
• 1:40:04
  Speaker 1: napkin with stuff written on it and he would just
• 1:40:08
  Speaker 1: you know, oh, and how about this, and he would
• 1:40:10
  Speaker 1: give him tags and Richard on the back of an
• 1:40:13
  Speaker 1: album that that joke to you go to prison, you
• 1:40:16
  Speaker 1: get justice, just us nigga, And he gave that to
• 1:40:21
  Speaker 1: Richard and it was on a prior album. But uh, oh,
• 1:40:24
  Speaker 1: those Joe. That was a time Richard would work out.
• 1:40:28
  Speaker 1: Every night. He'd work the original room, going to the
• 1:40:31
  Speaker 1: main room and entertain his guest and it would be
• 1:40:35
  Speaker 1: like Burt Reynolds, Moses Charlton, Heston, Bernie Casey. But you
• 1:40:44
  Speaker 1: would see like, oh, Burt Reynolds would have Sally Field
• 1:40:47
  Speaker 1: with him. Wow, it was amazing. They would all come
• 1:40:50
  Speaker 1: and bow to the King Dog.
• 1:40:52
  Speaker 2: Well he was so different. Yeah. I always say that
• 1:40:56
  Speaker 2: the godfather of Common who started everything was Lenny Bruce.
• 1:41:00
  Speaker 2: But then Richard figured out a way to take that
• 1:41:03
  Speaker 2: and make it way funnier. He figured out how to
• 1:41:06
  Speaker 2: take that kind of honesty and social commentary and figure
• 1:41:10
  Speaker 2: out how to talk about life because people don't know that.
• 1:41:14
  Speaker 2: Before before Lenny Bruce came around, it was just jokes.
• 1:41:20
  Speaker 2: It was just like two jews walking to a bar.
• 1:41:22
  Speaker 2: They buy it. It was jokes.
• 1:41:25
  Speaker 1: It was like it was a dangerfield rhythm.
• 1:41:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but you know what dangerfield was. He was a
• 1:41:31
  Speaker 2: special guy too, and he didn't He took like ten
• 1:41:36
  Speaker 2: years off and never stopped writing and was selling aluminum hiding. Yeah,
• 1:41:41
  Speaker 2: and then came back and made it in his forties.
• 1:41:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:41:45
  Speaker 2: Wow, look at.
• 1:41:46
  Speaker 1: This, that's crazy.
• 1:41:50
  Speaker 2: Burt Reynolds Sally Field.
• 1:41:52
  Speaker 1: Now you see that picture. One night, I'm in that
• 1:41:54
  Speaker 1: room and Stevie Wonder is over on the piano. Remember
• 1:41:58
  Speaker 1: how the piano.
• 1:41:58
  Speaker 2: Used to be. Yeah, left at the stay.
• 1:42:01
  Speaker 1: Stevie's playing and there are a few people snorting coke.
• 1:42:05
  Speaker 1: I think to this day Stevie still thinks a few
• 1:42:08
  Speaker 1: of those people have allergies because you know, yeah, he's
• 1:42:12
  Speaker 1: just sitting playing and people.
• 1:42:13
  Speaker 2: Are Wow, wow, look at that. Burt Reynolds on stage.
• 1:42:17
  Speaker 2: Robin Williams.
• 1:42:18
  Speaker 1: I saw Burt Reynolds give the parking at ten and
• 1:42:20
  Speaker 1: one hundred dollars and I thought I was on another planet.
• 1:42:23
  Speaker 1: I'm like, get the fuck out of here. They should
• 1:42:25
  Speaker 1: be parking cars. Fuck stand up. Yeah that was that's
• 1:42:29
  Speaker 1: And for people who are looking at this picture, that's
• 1:42:33
  Speaker 1: Richard holding court after his set.
• 1:42:36
  Speaker 2: Wow, what an amazing photo. Well, Jamie, we should get
• 1:42:41
  Speaker 2: some of these photos. And yeah, get some of these
• 1:42:44
  Speaker 2: photos and let's print them up and put them in
• 1:42:46
  Speaker 2: the green room at the Mothership.
• 1:42:48
  Speaker 1: I saw it in the back.
• 1:42:49
  Speaker 2: He's got the zero signs in the back.
• 1:42:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Still, Yeah, that tells you a lot about the
• 1:42:55
  Speaker 1: history search that search sign.
• 1:42:58
  Speaker 2: That sign used to be MISSI had this warehouse room,
• 1:43:01
  Speaker 2: like it was just not a warehouse, but you know,
• 1:43:03
  Speaker 2: it was a storage room where she had all the
• 1:43:05
  Speaker 2: old cero stuff. And I remember seeing that sign there
• 1:43:09
  Speaker 2: and they eventually hung it up in the back bar
• 1:43:11
  Speaker 2: area and you just look like, wow, this was This
• 1:43:14
  Speaker 2: was a mob club in like the fucking fifties. Yeah,
• 1:43:20
  Speaker 2: that's crazy.
• 1:43:21
  Speaker 1: I saw a picture you have in the entry of
• 1:43:25
  Speaker 1: Richard Pryor's mugshot. Yeah, I had never seen that. What
• 1:43:30
  Speaker 1: did he do? I don't remember, Yeah, I.
• 1:43:35
  Speaker 2: Don't remember, but he was very young that mugshot was
• 1:43:38
  Speaker 2: I think he was like eighteen. Yeah, I don't remember
• 1:43:41
  Speaker 2: what was. I have mugshots from everybody who got arrested.
• 1:43:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I saw Larry King.
• 1:43:46
  Speaker 2: King was like bad checks, he was writing bad checks.
• 1:43:49
  Speaker 2: He had a gambling problem. Oh yeah, yeah, Willie Nelson's
• 1:43:53
  Speaker 2: up there. Yeah, I got everybody out there.
• 1:43:56
  Speaker 1: There is a book that I have in my garage
• 1:44:00
  Speaker 1: and it's the first edition to tell you how much
• 1:44:04
  Speaker 1: of this kind of stuff existed. But it's all celebrities
• 1:44:09
  Speaker 1: in their mugshots. So it's a coffee table book of
• 1:44:13
  Speaker 1: just the mug shots.
• 1:44:13
  Speaker 2: Oh, I should probably get that book.
• 1:44:15
  Speaker 1: I bet there's a few in there that I don't have,
• 1:44:17
  Speaker 1: and I bet there is a second one that they
• 1:44:19
  Speaker 1: could do because the book's only like a half inch thick.
• 1:44:23
  Speaker 2: We got a lot of good ones out there, but
• 1:44:26
  Speaker 2: you know, so many people got arrested. Yeah, we got
• 1:44:31
  Speaker 2: David Bowie out there, of course, Morrison. You know, it's
• 1:44:35
  Speaker 2: like Hendrix's got to have that mug shot. That's a classic. Yeah,
• 1:44:39
  Speaker 2: there was a lot of mug shots.
• 1:44:41
  Speaker 1: Have you ever taken a mug shot?
• 1:44:42
  Speaker 2: No, I've never been arrested.
• 1:44:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, never been.
• 1:44:44
  Speaker 2: I'm a good boy. Believe it or not.
• 1:44:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know. I mean we've done things, but not
• 1:44:53
  Speaker 1: enough to have to take those pictures.
• 1:44:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, luckily. But also we live in a different time,
• 1:44:59
  Speaker 2: you know, in the nineteen sixties and seventies, when those
• 1:45:01
  Speaker 2: guys are getting arrested, they're getting arrested for like having
• 1:45:04
  Speaker 2: a joint or something like that. Yeah, oh yeah, Richard,
• 1:45:07
  Speaker 2: or excuse me, Jimmy. I think he got arrested in
• 1:45:10
  Speaker 2: Toronto for having heroin on him. That's what he got
• 1:45:13
  Speaker 2: arrested for.
• 1:45:15
  Speaker 1: I got pulled over and had a joint in my
• 1:45:17
  Speaker 1: ash tray in nineteen eighty nine, and I was scared
• 1:45:24
  Speaker 1: to death, and the cop was real nice to me,
• 1:45:26
  Speaker 1: but he did the corniest thing. He says, get out
• 1:45:29
  Speaker 1: of the car, and he made me rip up the
• 1:45:32
  Speaker 1: joint and drop it in the sewer at the curb there,
• 1:45:35
  Speaker 1: and he says, get your life together like this.
• 1:45:41
  Speaker 2: This is helping me get my life to yees, it
• 1:45:43
  Speaker 2: makes me funnier. That's funny, good old days, man.
• 1:45:47
  Speaker 1: I remember you talked about Rodney earlier, Rodney Dangerfield. You
• 1:45:53
  Speaker 1: know how we love comedy. We'll never stop doing it.
• 1:45:55
  Speaker 1: We'll do it until until the wheels fall off. And
• 1:45:58
  Speaker 1: I remember him on stage at the Laugh Factory near
• 1:46:01
  Speaker 1: the end of his life. And I saw him there
• 1:46:05
  Speaker 1: and his wife was in the balcony giving him lines
• 1:46:09
  Speaker 1: for a wireless earwig. And if you went up top,
• 1:46:13
  Speaker 1: you would hear her say, I don't get no respect.
• 1:46:18
  Speaker 1: I don't get no respect, you know. And first of
• 1:46:22
  Speaker 1: all two things. And first of all, it warmed my
• 1:46:24
  Speaker 1: heart that the woman who loves you is going to
• 1:46:27
  Speaker 1: help you do what you love. So that made me
• 1:46:31
  Speaker 1: feel so good. And it was like, I want a
• 1:46:33
  Speaker 1: woman with that kind of heart because I know I'm
• 1:46:35
  Speaker 1: gonna want to do it when I'm older.
• 1:46:37
  Speaker 2: She gave us his notes from one of his Tonight
• 1:46:40
  Speaker 2: Show appearances and they're framed on the wall in the
• 1:46:43
  Speaker 2: green room. It's his handwritten notes and bold. He would
• 1:46:47
  Speaker 2: like write it in bold where the punchlines were. It's
• 1:46:50
  Speaker 2: like sitting there right above the couch.
• 1:46:53
  Speaker 1: That's cool, man.
• 1:46:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was one of the first things. Whitney comings
• 1:46:56
  Speaker 2: hooked it up. She got it for us from her.
• 1:46:59
  Speaker 2: She wanted us to have it. Whitney Cummings I saw
• 1:47:03
  Speaker 2: Rodney live when I was a security guard. I was
• 1:47:07
  Speaker 2: a security guard at great Woods great Wood Center for
• 1:47:10
  Speaker 2: the Performing Arts, which was in Mansfield, Massachusetts. Oh, I
• 1:47:14
  Speaker 2: lived in Boston. Yeah, Me and a bunch of the
• 1:47:18
  Speaker 2: black belts from this taekwondo team that it was on
• 1:47:20
  Speaker 2: got jobs as security guards. And I was nineteen and
• 1:47:23
  Speaker 2: I was backstage and Rodney was walking around with a
• 1:47:25
  Speaker 2: bathrobe on with nothing underneath it. That was when he
• 1:47:28
  Speaker 2: was going on stage with a bathrobe. He got to
• 1:47:30
  Speaker 2: such a fuck it point in his life where he
• 1:47:33
  Speaker 2: would literally go on stage with nothing but a bathrobe.
• 1:47:36
  Speaker 2: He would walk out there with a bathrobe and slippers
• 1:47:39
  Speaker 2: and just fucking murder. I remember being in the hot
• 1:47:42
  Speaker 2: and I wasn't even thinking about doing stand up back then.
• 1:47:45
  Speaker 2: Back then, I was just fighting, and I was a
• 1:47:48
  Speaker 2: fan of comedy. I always love comedy.
• 1:47:50
  Speaker 1: Your fighting friends talk to you into doing.
• 1:47:52
  Speaker 2: Stand up, right, Yeah? Yeah. One of the guys that
• 1:47:54
  Speaker 2: I trained with, my friend Steve. But when I went there,
• 1:47:57
  Speaker 2: I remember like, like, you want to talk about not
• 1:48:00
  Speaker 2: giving a fuck? Like this guy really didn't give a fuck.
• 1:48:03
  Speaker 2: Like he had gotten to a point where he had
• 1:48:04
  Speaker 2: so much success and so much money, and this is
• 1:48:07
  Speaker 2: after back to school and all those big movies, and
• 1:48:10
  Speaker 2: he was still just going out there doing stand up,
• 1:48:12
  Speaker 2: you're smoking weed back there, and he just would go
• 1:48:15
  Speaker 2: on stage with a bathrob Bond, and I remember thinking,
• 1:48:18
  Speaker 2: that is the wildest shit I've ever seen in my life.
• 1:48:20
  Speaker 2: I remember as a young man because I was always
• 1:48:23
  Speaker 2: you know, you're fucking nineteen, You're scared of everything, You're
• 1:48:27
  Speaker 2: worried about the future, you don't know what you know,
• 1:48:29
  Speaker 2: you have no security in your life at all. And
• 1:48:32
  Speaker 2: here's this guy with you know, millions of dollars, massive
• 1:48:36
  Speaker 2: amounts of fame, and he had got to that I
• 1:48:39
  Speaker 2: don't give a fuck stage. Anybody really did. He wasn't
• 1:48:43
  Speaker 2: faking it. Nobody told me he has to go on
• 1:48:45
  Speaker 2: stage in a bathrobe.
• 1:48:46
  Speaker 1: He was like, oh, tell you what I want to do.
• 1:48:48
  Speaker 2: I want to go on stage with a bathroom. He's
• 1:48:50
  Speaker 2: the stage of the fucking bathrobe. I see if he
• 1:48:54
  Speaker 2: can find some photos of him on stage with a
• 1:48:56
  Speaker 2: bathrob Bond. I know he did it for years.
• 1:48:58
  Speaker 1: I got in trouble because easy E came on my
• 1:49:01
  Speaker 1: show in his bathrobe and he was like, you gave
• 1:49:05
  Speaker 1: it to me, you know, because we were give out bathrobes,
• 1:49:08
  Speaker 1: and so he said, well, fuck it, I'll wear it
• 1:49:10
  Speaker 1: out there. And he wore it out and had a
• 1:49:12
  Speaker 1: He was picking his teeth with a knife, and Paramount
• 1:49:15
  Speaker 1: was like, oh, man, this is not what we asked
• 1:49:18
  Speaker 1: him for. This is really not what we asked him for.
• 1:49:21
  Speaker 1: He'll never replace Johnny.
• 1:49:23
  Speaker 2: Oh fuck off. But I knew, I knew were ridiculous.
• 1:49:26
  Speaker 1: Hey, I was where I was because I snuck in
• 1:49:29
  Speaker 1: through syndication, did a first run syndication. I know network
• 1:49:33
  Speaker 1: wasn't for me. And when Letterman got CBS, I knew
• 1:49:36
  Speaker 1: I was really in trouble, so I had to figure
• 1:49:37
  Speaker 1: out an exit plan. But the bottom line is, for
• 1:49:40
  Speaker 1: six years, I did it the way I wanted to
• 1:49:42
  Speaker 1: do it, and I wouldn't change a thing. Man to
• 1:49:44
  Speaker 1: do it for twenty six years, I wouldn't trade those six.
• 1:49:47
  Speaker 2: The thing about it is, man, everybody wanted to be
• 1:49:50
  Speaker 2: Johnny back then. It was so cool, even Letterman.
• 1:49:53
  Speaker 1: I joked at the Emmys, I said, I had a dream.
• 1:49:56
  Speaker 1: I wanted to be an old white man with a desk,
• 1:49:58
  Speaker 1: you know, And that was Mike. I want to the
• 1:50:01
  Speaker 1: point Joe that when I made it, I hired Johnny's
• 1:50:05
  Speaker 1: architect that built his house to build me a house.
• 1:50:08
  Speaker 1: I was deep into the shit like that.
• 1:50:10
  Speaker 2: Well, he was the guy people don't realize, like that
• 1:50:14
  Speaker 2: was the carrot, that was the thing that they got.
• 1:50:17
  Speaker 2: I mean Jay Leno And like that famous scene in
• 1:50:19
  Speaker 2: that movie that talked about it, where jay Leno would
• 1:50:22
  Speaker 2: hide in the closet to listen to them talk about it,
• 1:50:24
  Speaker 2: because he wanted that spot when Johnny retired, But they
• 1:50:28
  Speaker 2: wanted Letterman. And it was like this battle between like
• 1:50:31
  Speaker 2: what made no sense to me? My Letterman has the
• 1:50:33
  Speaker 2: Letterman Show. It's fucking huge, it's amazing. Why would you
• 1:50:36
  Speaker 2: want to do anything else?
• 1:50:37
  Speaker 1: But everybody wanted that Tonight Show.
• 1:50:39
  Speaker 2: Absolutely wanted the Tonight Show.
• 1:50:41
  Speaker 1: And when I was a kid, I was a magician.
• 1:50:43
  Speaker 1: That's how it started. And I read an article that
• 1:50:46
  Speaker 1: said that Johnny did Slight of Hand, it was a magician.
• 1:50:49
  Speaker 1: So to me that was God speaking to me. It
• 1:50:52
  Speaker 1: was like, you are a magician and you do a
• 1:50:55
  Speaker 1: talk show in the basement.
• 1:50:58
  Speaker 2: One day, yeah day. Isn't it crazy though? That it
• 1:51:02
  Speaker 2: had to be the Tonight Show for everybody. It wasn't
• 1:51:05
  Speaker 2: get your own talk show.
• 1:51:07
  Speaker 1: Joe doing stand up, getting that five minutes, having Jim
• 1:51:10
  Speaker 1: McCauley come see you. I got on Dinah Shore. No, No,
• 1:51:15
  Speaker 1: Mike Douglas and I got on MERV Griffin didn't didn't
• 1:51:19
  Speaker 1: do it for me. I needed Jim McCauley say, the
• 1:51:22
  Speaker 1: Tonight Show is yours.
• 1:51:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, ain't that crazy?
• 1:51:25
  Speaker 1: Did you do? Did? You were too young?
• 1:51:27
  Speaker 2: I was too young. And it's also like for me,
• 1:51:30
  Speaker 2: I didn't understand it, like I used to like watching
• 1:51:35
  Speaker 2: when comics were on the Tonight Show, but it didn't like.
• 1:51:38
  Speaker 1: You remember the night Roseanne came on and that's the Goddess. Yeah,
• 1:51:42
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh shit, she's funny. Oh she was
• 1:51:44
  Speaker 1: so she can write. She was so funny. Roseanne was
• 1:51:48
  Speaker 1: like way ahead of her time.
• 1:51:49
  Speaker 2: She was so wild. There was no one like her
• 1:51:51
  Speaker 2: when she came out. She's still wild. She comes to
• 1:51:54
  Speaker 2: the mother Ship all the time.
• 1:51:56
  Speaker 1: And as wild as she is. Joe the night I
• 1:51:58
  Speaker 1: called her and said I need to rearrange the show tonight.
• 1:52:05
  Speaker 1: Her and Tom were coming, and it was yes. And
• 1:52:09
  Speaker 1: it was the morning that I'd gotten a call from
• 1:52:11
  Speaker 1: Irvin Magic Johnson that he was HIV positive. So I
• 1:52:15
  Speaker 1: needed the whole show. And this is how cool she was.
• 1:52:19
  Speaker 1: She says, give me another date, but I'm still coming
• 1:52:23
  Speaker 1: because we love Irvin. And they came and stood on
• 1:52:26
  Speaker 1: the side that night when Irvin came and talked about it. Oh,
• 1:52:31
  Speaker 1: she's cool.
• 1:52:32
  Speaker 2: She's cool, she's crazy as fuck.
• 1:52:35
  Speaker 1: Yes, it's cool, aren't we all? And don't we have
• 1:52:38
  Speaker 1: to be You have to be a little bit. We
• 1:52:40
  Speaker 1: got to beat a different kid in the neighborhood.
• 1:52:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, if you want to be as good as she was,
• 1:52:45
  Speaker 2: because people they don't. You got to go back and
• 1:52:48
  Speaker 2: watch some of her specials. She was killing in a
• 1:52:51
  Speaker 2: way that no woman killed like that. It was different.
• 1:52:54
  Speaker 2: It was like aggressive, It was aggressive and angry.
• 1:52:57
  Speaker 1: It was with as. She didn't sell us any sexuality
• 1:53:02
  Speaker 1: at all. It was just great writing.
• 1:53:04
  Speaker 2: Just great writing, and great performing and a lot of
• 1:53:06
  Speaker 2: I don't give a fuck, and it was just ugh.
• 1:53:10
  Speaker 2: Do you find any photos of Rodney with a bathrobon?
• 1:53:13
  Speaker 3: I mean yes, but not on stage. No, I don't
• 1:53:16
  Speaker 3: even know if they exist.
• 1:53:20
  Speaker 2: Well, that doesn't exist. That's crazy.
• 1:53:23
  Speaker 1: That was a pre show right there. He's you think
• 1:53:26
  Speaker 1: he's not ready, but he's dressed to go on right writing.
• 1:53:30
  Speaker 1: Look at the phone, look at the landline.
• 1:53:32
  Speaker 2: Isn't that crazy?
• 1:53:34
  Speaker 1: I showed my son one of those. He couldn't believe
• 1:53:37
  Speaker 1: that to drop dollar nine. It was shocked.
• 1:53:40
  Speaker 2: And if you missed one of them and sucked it up,
• 1:53:42
  Speaker 2: you had to start from scratch. It was crazy. Yeah,
• 1:53:45
  Speaker 2: back in the day.
• 1:53:47
  Speaker 1: I remember when the iPhone first came out and it
• 1:53:52
  Speaker 1: didn't have actual buttons like a star tag, and I
• 1:53:56
  Speaker 1: was freaking. It's like, how would I know where the
• 1:53:59
  Speaker 1: l is? Yeah, I can't feel it.
• 1:54:01
  Speaker 2: I remember I had a BlackBerry back then. You couldn't
• 1:54:04
  Speaker 2: convince me that I needed to get an iPhone. I
• 1:54:06
  Speaker 2: was like, this is ridiculous. I'm not typing on that
• 1:54:08
  Speaker 2: stupid thing. I don't even know where the buttons are.
• 1:54:10
  Speaker 2: It's crazy you don't. It makes a click sound. That's stupid.
• 1:54:14
  Speaker 1: Before you know what we were doing it. We turned
• 1:54:16
  Speaker 1: off the click and it says a lot about progress.
• 1:54:18
  Speaker 1: Don't don't be afraid of change.
• 1:54:19
  Speaker 2: Well, now I talk to it now. I hardly ever text.
• 1:54:22
  Speaker 2: I just say text our Senio, like say hey man,
• 1:54:26
  Speaker 2: looking forward to seeing you tonight, blah blah blah, and
• 1:54:29
  Speaker 2: just send it. Yeah. I do make most of my
• 1:54:31
  Speaker 2: text messages. I just talked to my phone.
• 1:54:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, pretty much, me and Siri. Uh. And you can't
• 1:54:38
  Speaker 1: say the in word to Siri. The other night, I
• 1:54:40
  Speaker 1: was white. No, she won't fuck with the N word.
• 1:54:43
  Speaker 2: Because Syria if Google.
• 1:54:45
  Speaker 1: Well, She's like, I'm not getting canceled, and Alexa have
• 1:54:49
  Speaker 1: the whole business. I'm not to get you know, but
• 1:54:51
  Speaker 1: you know, I'm writing a joke and I said the
• 1:54:53
  Speaker 1: N word. Uh, of course I didn't say in word.
• 1:54:56
  Speaker 1: I said nigga, and Siri would not write it. And
• 1:55:00
  Speaker 1: then when I kept saying it, she started writing other
• 1:55:02
  Speaker 1: things you know that started with it in you know,
• 1:55:05
  Speaker 1: but they weren't even words. And I'm like, so they
• 1:55:08
  Speaker 1: got Siiri train. That's so weird she not getting canceled.
• 1:55:12
  Speaker 2: It's weird that it took. It wasn't even ten years.
• 1:55:17
  Speaker 2: And then everybody just got accustomed to having a phone
• 1:55:20
  Speaker 2: with them all the time. Like there was think about
• 1:55:24
  Speaker 2: like the difference between like it was probably like what
• 1:55:27
  Speaker 2: is like ninety seven ninety eight when everybody had those motorolas, Right,
• 1:55:32
  Speaker 2: it was around then, right, Yeah, it was around then,
• 1:55:35
  Speaker 2: like ninety six ninety seven.
• 1:55:37
  Speaker 1: My friends laughed at me. My first phone was in
• 1:55:41
  Speaker 1: a Halliburton briefcase. And you opened the silver Halliburton briefcase,
• 1:55:45
  Speaker 1: take the phone out, and the phone was maybe ten inches,
• 1:55:49
  Speaker 1: you know, and I had an antenna that screwed on
• 1:55:53
  Speaker 1: the outside of the briefcase because you had this big
• 1:55:55
  Speaker 1: possum tail.
• 1:55:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I had it on the roof of my car.
• 1:55:59
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah in nineteen eighty nine.
• 1:56:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah you wow. Back then I couldn't imagine that kids
• 1:56:08
  Speaker 1: would be watching movies on the phone.
• 1:56:11
  Speaker 2: Right, playing games, watching movies, and that would be most
• 1:56:14
  Speaker 2: of their social life was communicating through that thing.
• 1:56:16
  Speaker 1: Yet, remember there was a time when dudes said to
• 1:56:19
  Speaker 1: each other, Yo, he got a strong rap man, his
• 1:56:21
  Speaker 1: pimp pand is crazy. He can get a bitch in
• 1:56:24
  Speaker 1: a second, you know, and can talk. And now young
• 1:56:28
  Speaker 1: men don't know what the fuck to say to a
• 1:56:30
  Speaker 1: woman leaning against the wall to the club.
• 1:56:31
  Speaker 2: Now they have dating apps. Now it was swamping crazy.
• 1:56:36
  Speaker 2: But what I was going to get out of, Like
• 1:56:37
  Speaker 2: how quickly the culture changed from let's just say ninety eight,
• 1:56:43
  Speaker 2: when most a lot of people had a phone, half
• 1:56:45
  Speaker 2: the people had a phone on them. Two thousand and eight,
• 1:56:48
  Speaker 2: everybody had a phone. Twenty eighteen, you'd be crazy and
• 1:56:52
  Speaker 2: not have a phone. Yeah, twenty years like that.
• 1:56:55
  Speaker 1: Okay, now hold your thought. I remember a time when
• 1:57:02
  Speaker 1: you and I were the only parents that didn't allow
• 1:57:06
  Speaker 1: cell phones in the hands of our kids, because I
• 1:57:09
  Speaker 1: remember my son said, uh, Dad, you got to let
• 1:57:13
  Speaker 1: me have a phone, you know, And I'm like, I'm
• 1:57:16
  Speaker 1: not doing it until you were a certain age. I'd
• 1:57:18
  Speaker 1: set it up and I said, does everyone in your
• 1:57:20
  Speaker 1: class have a phone? And he said no, two of
• 1:57:26
  Speaker 1: us don't. And I realized you were the other parent
• 1:57:30
  Speaker 1: that was saying, we're not fucking shit.
• 1:57:32
  Speaker 2: I gave her a phone that has two numbers on it.
• 1:57:35
  Speaker 2: It was there was a weird little cell phone that
• 1:57:37
  Speaker 2: you get for kids, which you could dial like my
• 1:57:40
  Speaker 2: phone number or my wife's phone number. It was like,
• 1:57:43
  Speaker 2: that's it. Those are like it was like, I forget
• 1:57:46
  Speaker 2: what it was called. Was like the Frog or something
• 1:57:47
  Speaker 2: like that, some.
• 1:57:48
  Speaker 1: Little cell phone phone for kids.
• 1:57:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, But you didn't have to worry about
• 1:57:53
  Speaker 2: the things that kids have to worry about now. Like
• 1:57:54
  Speaker 2: I was watching this thing about Roadblocks, you know, that
• 1:57:57
  Speaker 2: game that kids like to play that they're getting like
• 1:58:01
  Speaker 2: predators are on roadblocks and they're trying to pick up
• 1:58:04
  Speaker 2: kids like child predators. So you have to worry about
• 1:58:08
  Speaker 2: the games they play. You have to worry about them
• 1:58:11
  Speaker 2: getting dm by creeps. You have to worry about so
• 1:58:14
  Speaker 2: much more access just a phone to call people.
• 1:58:19
  Speaker 1: There was a time when my kid used to play
• 1:58:21
  Speaker 1: games with a headset on and he would play with people,
• 1:58:25
  Speaker 1: you don't know, just somebody in the world. They would gather, yeah,
• 1:58:29
  Speaker 1: and I remember feeling like, this can't be good, right,
• 1:58:35
  Speaker 1: you know, because these probably aren't all kids he's playing with.
• 1:58:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, Well, when I first started playing video games,
• 1:58:44
  Speaker 2: you'd have to chat by pulling down a window and
• 1:58:46
  Speaker 2: you'd have to type in the things that you wanted
• 1:58:48
  Speaker 2: to say. You couldn't talk to people. And then when
• 1:58:51
  Speaker 2: people started talking to people in video games, I'm like, oh,
• 1:58:53
  Speaker 2: this is crazy. But then the problem is whenever there's
• 1:58:57
  Speaker 2: anything the kids are doing, you're gonna have some creeps
• 1:59:00
  Speaker 2: that are targeting kids, and they find where the kids
• 1:59:03
  Speaker 2: are hanging out, what the kids are doing, and then
• 1:59:05
  Speaker 2: they try to get those kids to meet them somewhere.
• 1:59:08
  Speaker 2: That's what's scary about cell phones and the Internet and
• 1:59:11
  Speaker 2: all that shit, is that it's not just a phone.
• 1:59:14
  Speaker 2: It's a way that you can connect with people, and
• 1:59:19
  Speaker 2: there's always creeps that are trying to connect with kids.
• 1:59:22
  Speaker 1: I was lucky as a kid because I talk about
• 1:59:25
  Speaker 1: being a magician, and I worked at a magic shop
• 1:59:27
  Speaker 1: when I was twelve, took cash because I couldn't actually
• 1:59:30
  Speaker 1: have a job, and I remember meeting older magicians. I
• 1:59:35
  Speaker 1: remember going to people's house to see a new guillotine trick.
• 1:59:40
  Speaker 1: And my mother, my mother worked two jobs. I was
• 1:59:43
  Speaker 1: a latch key kid. I never had any problems and
• 1:59:46
  Speaker 1: I never was warned about it, you know, but I was.
• 1:59:50
  Speaker 1: I could have been a target because you got lucky. Yeah,
• 1:59:53
  Speaker 1: I really got lucky because I know, when I was
• 1:59:56
  Speaker 1: writing a book I'm looking at I'm saying there was
• 1:59:59
  Speaker 1: a guy I met who worked until he died for
• 2:00:03
  Speaker 1: Penn and Teller, and this dude I met him at
• 2:00:07
  Speaker 1: a magic show and every year when he would come
• 2:00:08
  Speaker 1: to Cleveland, I would go sit with him. My mother
• 2:00:11
  Speaker 1: never knew I had this forty you old friend, you know, weird,
• 2:00:15
  Speaker 1: but yeah, but he was cool and I got lucky.
• 2:00:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah. That's the thing about latchkey kids. I mean. The
• 2:00:21
  Speaker 2: thing is, though I was watching this this YouTube video
• 2:00:25
  Speaker 2: where they were talking about kids of our age, you know,
• 2:00:29
  Speaker 2: our generation. Latch key kids that grew up like that
• 2:00:33
  Speaker 2: are so much more resilient because no problems were solved
• 2:00:38
  Speaker 2: for you. You had to figure it out on your own.
• 2:00:40
  Speaker 2: You went out on your own. You were outside with
• 2:00:44
  Speaker 2: no cell phone communication, no way to call anybody when
• 2:00:47
  Speaker 2: you were ten eleven, wandering around with your friends.
• 2:00:50
  Speaker 1: It's like it was a different world.
• 2:00:52
  Speaker 2: You had to figure life out in a way that
• 2:00:54
  Speaker 2: like helicopter parenting and parents that are like tracking their kids.
• 2:00:59
  Speaker 2: You know, like a lot of parents like they're tracking
• 2:01:01
  Speaker 2: their kids on their phone and know whether you said
• 2:01:03
  Speaker 2: you were at Debbie's house, You're not at Debbie's house.
• 2:01:05
  Speaker 2: Where are you right now? Yeah, Like everyone is like
• 2:01:07
  Speaker 2: looking out for their kids, maybe a little too much.
• 2:01:10
  Speaker 2: It's like you want your children to be safe, but
• 2:01:12
  Speaker 2: you also want them to have like a little bit
• 2:01:15
  Speaker 2: of freedom to figure out who the fuck they are.
• 2:01:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Gosh, as a kid, when I would tell my mother,
• 2:01:23
  Speaker 1: I'm spending the night at Kenny's house, I was never
• 2:01:27
  Speaker 1: at Kenny's house. You know. My girl when I was fourteen,
• 2:01:34
  Speaker 1: had a mom who was a nurse that worked the
• 2:01:36
  Speaker 1: eleven to seven ship, so we kind of lived together
• 2:01:39
  Speaker 1: like a couple.
• 2:01:40
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 2:01:41
  Speaker 1: I would tell my mother, I'm going one place. I'd
• 2:01:43
  Speaker 1: go to Robin's house. I would stay at her house
• 2:01:46
  Speaker 1: till morning when I went home to get ready for school.
• 2:01:48
  Speaker 1: You know, I was like a growing ass.
• 2:01:49
  Speaker 4: Man or a woman that's wild until one day her
• 2:01:52
  Speaker 4: parents had the grandparents come to town and surprise her,
• 2:01:57
  Speaker 4: and so the moms at work, there's a knock at
• 2:02:01
  Speaker 4: the door and she said, it's my grandmother.
• 2:02:03
  Speaker 1: We had little peep holes, it's my grandmother, my grandfather,
• 2:02:07
  Speaker 1: and I had to jump with my clothes off their balcony.
• 2:02:14
  Speaker 1: That was my action adventure teenage period.
• 2:02:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a different world. I don't know if it's
• 2:02:19
  Speaker 2: better or worse, but I think it definitely made you
• 2:02:22
  Speaker 2: more resilient. And that was this argument that they were
• 2:02:25
  Speaker 2: making in this YouTube video that that generation is the
• 2:02:27
  Speaker 2: most emotionally resilient and that this generation coming up is
• 2:02:31
  Speaker 2: like the least emotionally resilient. That's why they're always looking
• 2:02:35
  Speaker 2: for things that are, you know, problems. They're always looking
• 2:02:38
  Speaker 2: for things that bother them, things that cause them anxiety.
• 2:02:42
  Speaker 2: They're always looking for things that, you know, they can't tolerate.
• 2:02:45
  Speaker 1: Where's my bike helmet? You know, we used to have
• 2:02:48
  Speaker 1: a car. It was a station wagon and the back
• 2:02:52
  Speaker 1: seat you sit facing the opposite way, no seatbelts.
• 2:02:57
  Speaker 2: That had to be dangerous. It's all dangerous. Those cars
• 2:03:00
  Speaker 2: were dangerous. They could barely stop.
• 2:03:02
  Speaker 1: They had drum brakes. Yeah, you ever drive.
• 2:03:04
  Speaker 2: Like an old I have old cars, but I have
• 2:03:06
  Speaker 2: what they call resto mods where they take an old
• 2:03:09
  Speaker 2: car but they put like modern suspension, modern brakes, modern steering.
• 2:03:13
  Speaker 2: It handles like a new car, but they have all
• 2:03:16
  Speaker 2: the outside of an old car, and you know, and
• 2:03:19
  Speaker 2: then the dashboard of an old car and all that stuff.
• 2:03:20
  Speaker 2: That's what I like. If you drive a real Like
• 2:03:23
  Speaker 2: if you try to drive a nineteen sixty eight Camaro,
• 2:03:26
  Speaker 2: You're like, what is this piece of shity? Like they
• 2:03:29
  Speaker 2: can't break, you can't go around a corner, there's no traction.
• 2:03:33
  Speaker 1: What was your first car?
• 2:03:34
  Speaker 2: I had a nineteen seventy three Chabelle.
• 2:03:37
  Speaker 1: I had a Cutlass. Oh, I had.
• 2:03:40
  Speaker 2: A Cutless once. Yeah, I had a seventy a seventy Cutless.
• 2:03:44
  Speaker 2: Those are great cars. God, they knew how to make
• 2:03:46
  Speaker 2: a beautiful car back then. You like muscle cars, Yeah,
• 2:03:50
  Speaker 2: I love that. Well. When I was in high school,
• 2:03:52
  Speaker 2: like those were the So I was in high school
• 2:03:54
  Speaker 2: in the nineteen eighties. I went to I was a
• 2:03:56
  Speaker 2: freshman in nineteen eighty one.
• 2:03:58
  Speaker 1: I had full kids in the nineteen eighties.
• 2:04:00
  Speaker 2: Wow, in those days, those cars were the cars that
• 2:04:06
  Speaker 2: we all looked at like you couldn't believe when someone
• 2:04:10
  Speaker 2: had it. I remember I have a nineteen seventy Chevelle
• 2:04:14
  Speaker 2: that I got to this day. I have it because
• 2:04:17
  Speaker 2: when I was like seventeen, my friend picked me up
• 2:04:21
  Speaker 2: in a nineteen seventy Chevelle with his buddy and it
• 2:04:24
  Speaker 2: was perfect. It was a perfect car. I couldn't believe
• 2:04:26
  Speaker 2: this guy had it. I was like, how do you
• 2:04:28
  Speaker 2: have this?
• 2:04:29
  Speaker 1: And when you say perfect to non car people like me,
• 2:04:33
  Speaker 1: what does that mean?
• 2:04:34
  Speaker 2: Oh? First of all, it was what you would call cherry,
• 2:04:37
  Speaker 2: meaning there was no dentse no scratches, perfect paint. It
• 2:04:40
  Speaker 2: was beautiful. The sound it made when he pulled up,
• 2:04:43
  Speaker 2: I couldn't. I think I was sixteen because I don't
• 2:04:45
  Speaker 2: think I had a license yet. And I remember getting
• 2:04:47
  Speaker 2: in the backseat of the car going how does this
• 2:04:49
  Speaker 2: guy have this car? This is crazy. It's just so
• 2:04:53
  Speaker 2: you know what a nineteen seventy Chevelle looks like. Absolutely
• 2:04:55
  Speaker 2: with the white stripes, black with the white stripes. That
• 2:04:58
  Speaker 2: was it. I have that exact car right now. I
• 2:05:00
  Speaker 2: love it. Whenever I get in, I think about when
• 2:05:02
  Speaker 2: I was sixteen. I think about all those years ago.
• 2:05:06
  Speaker 1: When Burt Reynolds drove up those pictures we just looked at.
• 2:05:09
  Speaker 1: When he drove up, he had what was called a
• 2:05:11
  Speaker 1: trans Sam Yes, and it had a big ego on.
• 2:05:14
  Speaker 2: You Yes, smoking the Bandit car.
• 2:05:16
  Speaker 1: Almost lost my mind.
• 2:05:17
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, that was the smoking the Bandit car.
• 2:05:20
  Speaker 2: That was the car that he had in those movies
• 2:05:21
  Speaker 2: with Sally.
• 2:05:22
  Speaker 1: Fields hundred dollar tip. Have you ever been to you
• 2:05:26
  Speaker 1: ever been to Jay Leno's spot.
• 2:05:29
  Speaker 2: With the cars?
• 2:05:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 2:05:31
  Speaker 2: I did his show once. I brought my corvette on.
• 2:05:33
  Speaker 2: I have a nineteen sixty five Corvette and I brought
• 2:05:36
  Speaker 2: it to a show. It's a Resto mad too, and
• 2:05:38
  Speaker 2: Jay drove it around. He's the only person that's ever
• 2:05:40
  Speaker 2: driven it other than me. And you know, but you
• 2:05:43
  Speaker 2: go to his place, it's like he has warehouses, not
• 2:05:48
  Speaker 2: a warehouse where.
• 2:05:50
  Speaker 1: And he never sells one. He swears to me he's
• 2:05:54
  Speaker 1: never sold a car. So anything he's at a thought
• 2:05:56
  Speaker 1: he keeps. And he recently told me, did someone turn.
• 2:06:00
  Speaker 2: It gold thumbnail?
• 2:06:02
  Speaker 1: Some on YouTube video?
• 2:06:04
  Speaker 2: No, go to the other one, the other picture with
• 2:06:06
  Speaker 2: the real picture. But go to the go to the
• 2:06:08
  Speaker 2: real picture so you can see what it looks like.
• 2:06:10
  Speaker 1: You know what he has? Now, that's kind of cool.
• 2:06:12
  Speaker 1: He has two tanks, two army tanks.
• 2:06:16
  Speaker 2: That's us right there, that's my car. Look at that.
• 2:06:20
  Speaker 2: See but that like you see that modern suspension, modern wheels.
• 2:06:24
  Speaker 1: Those are exhaust pipes on the side.
• 2:06:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that that car is so fun.
• 2:06:28
  Speaker 1: Do those things get hot? Yeah?
• 2:06:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you'll fuck your leg up. If you got short
• 2:06:33
  Speaker 2: tong and your leg touches it, you're in trouble. The
• 2:06:35
  Speaker 2: outside part won't because like the outside is like to
• 2:06:38
  Speaker 2: protect you from the actual exhaust pipes. But underneath it
• 2:06:42
  Speaker 2: his exhaust pipes. But where Jay's leg is, if he
• 2:06:45
  Speaker 2: backed up right there, if it was hot, he sings
• 2:06:48
  Speaker 2: the back of his calves.
• 2:06:50
  Speaker 1: Joe, he has tanks.
• 2:06:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he is everything.
• 2:06:52
  Speaker 1: Yes, the king, the King of Jordan, gave him a
• 2:06:55
  Speaker 1: tank and this motherfucker was riding through Sherman Oaks.
• 2:06:59
  Speaker 2: With dry everything he has too. That's the thing about Jay,
• 2:07:02
  Speaker 2: Like it's kind of.
• 2:07:03
  Speaker 1: Nuts, just a lot of rotation.
• 2:07:05
  Speaker 2: Well, he crashed one of his motorcycles just a few
• 2:07:08
  Speaker 2: years ago, fucked himself up.
• 2:07:10
  Speaker 1: He does a bit about that. He's fucked himself up
• 2:07:13
  Speaker 1: without a motorcycle.
• 2:07:14
  Speaker 2: Oh, that was the one time he was climbing up
• 2:07:16
  Speaker 2: at Hell.
• 2:07:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah. We've done a lot of dates together. We have
• 2:07:19
  Speaker 1: the same agent, right, and he called this one day
• 2:07:21
  Speaker 1: and he says, how about you Jay and Craig Kilbourne
• 2:07:25
  Speaker 1: and we call it Kings of Late Night. And so
• 2:07:27
  Speaker 1: we went out and did like five dates and it
• 2:07:29
  Speaker 1: was a lot of fun, and me and Jay enjoyed it.
• 2:07:32
  Speaker 1: So we added twenty more dates to it, and oh.
• 2:07:35
  Speaker 2: That had to be great fun. He was a great
• 2:07:38
  Speaker 2: comic in the seven.
• 2:07:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, people don't know. When I was in college, we
• 2:07:42
  Speaker 1: would go in the TV lounge and watch Jay Leno.
• 2:07:48
  Speaker 1: To this day, I remember him saying I was a
• 2:07:50
  Speaker 1: philosophy major, and so I just got out of college
• 2:07:52
  Speaker 1: and opened up a little philosophy shop, you know, just
• 2:07:55
  Speaker 1: to to explain what bullshit majors we're actually being pedaled. Well.
• 2:08:02
  Speaker 2: He was the edgy comic in the nineteen seventies, and
• 2:08:04
  Speaker 2: when he would go on Letterman Show, he was like
• 2:08:06
  Speaker 2: the edgy guy that would sit on the couch.
• 2:08:08
  Speaker 1: And Letteran would say, what's your beef?
• 2:08:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and even I would be mad at something he
• 2:08:12
  Speaker 2: was like. People don't realize that you'd see him as
• 2:08:15
  Speaker 2: but it's again that carrot. The carrot for him was
• 2:08:17
  Speaker 2: the Tonight show. That was more important to him than anything.
• 2:08:20
  Speaker 2: And once he got that Tonight show, everything else was
• 2:08:23
  Speaker 2: like took a back seat.
• 2:08:25
  Speaker 1: Did you do Letterman as a stand up?
• 2:08:27
  Speaker 2: No?
• 2:08:27
  Speaker 1: No, that was my first.
• 2:08:30
  Speaker 2: That's a that's that's a classic. That was a great
• 2:08:33
  Speaker 2: place for comedy because Letterman, like, he really loved comics
• 2:08:37
  Speaker 2: and he really loved like solid stand up. I never
• 2:08:40
  Speaker 2: liked doing stand up on those talk shows. Yeah, to me,
• 2:08:46
  Speaker 2: I died a different kind of comedy. My comedy needs
• 2:08:48
  Speaker 2: some time. I need to cook, you know, I need
• 2:08:51
  Speaker 2: time to open up ideas on lettermanship. I didn't like
• 2:08:57
  Speaker 2: TV comedy. It's not my I wasn't nice club comic.
• 2:09:00
  Speaker 2: That's all I ever wanted to be. I wanted to
• 2:09:02
  Speaker 2: be a nightclub comic. I like doing comedy for drunk people.
• 2:09:06
  Speaker 1: But when I first saw you, it all wasn't dirty.
• 2:09:09
  Speaker 2: Some of them's TV stuff, well it wasn't necessarily dirty,
• 2:09:12
  Speaker 2: but it was free. It was like I was being free.
• 2:09:15
  Speaker 2: I was doing think whatever I wanted to talk about.
• 2:09:18
  Speaker 2: I didn't like the idea of being constrained by any
• 2:09:21
  Speaker 2: sorts of standards and practices. It's like, I'm not interested.
• 2:09:26
  Speaker 2: I've been not interested in that.
• 2:09:27
  Speaker 1: I worked on my Tonight Show set to try to
• 2:09:30
  Speaker 1: get on the Tonight Show with Johnny, and the guy
• 2:09:34
  Speaker 1: would come see me a lot. He would change my
• 2:09:36
  Speaker 1: jokes that I hate. I hate when they say yeah,
• 2:09:39
  Speaker 1: try saying vacation instead of gift shop. And I'm like, oh,
• 2:09:45
  Speaker 1: let me just do my thing. But after a year
• 2:09:49
  Speaker 1: of him trying to get my set right, he says,
• 2:09:52
  Speaker 1: you're not a Johnny comic. Oh you're not a Johnny guy.
• 2:09:55
  Speaker 2: What wasn't even mean?
• 2:09:57
  Speaker 1: But then I got on on a Monday Night with
• 2:09:59
  Speaker 1: Joan because I guess I was a Jones guy. And
• 2:10:01
  Speaker 1: then I got to sit with Johnny just as a
• 2:10:04
  Speaker 1: guest to promote coming to America. So finally full circle.
• 2:10:08
  Speaker 1: From my basement, that's amazing.
• 2:10:10
  Speaker 2: I watch a lot of his old clips, like with
• 2:10:13
  Speaker 2: Don Rickles and all these.
• 2:10:15
  Speaker 1: Oh Don Rickles talking about Snooky the brother in the band,
• 2:10:19
  Speaker 1: you know, and he would do a noise of a blowgun.
• 2:10:22
  Speaker 1: It's like, Snooky, you're liking this stuff, oh you know,
• 2:10:26
  Speaker 1: and you can't fuck with that now. No, just so much.
• 2:10:31
  Speaker 1: It's funny how we've come forward into a new era,
• 2:10:34
  Speaker 1: but we've gone backwards in certain ways.
• 2:10:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you can't joke about certain things anymore.
• 2:10:40
  Speaker 1: Like, I'm scared of that right now, and I must
• 2:10:41
  Speaker 1: say something that I shouldn't say, and I'm gonna be
• 2:10:45
  Speaker 1: inc now.
• 2:10:48
  Speaker 2: They can't do shit to you. They can just be mad,
• 2:10:49
  Speaker 2: I guess. Yeah, let them be mad. Just don't pay attention.
• 2:10:51
  Speaker 2: That's what I do. I just don't pay attention. Really, Yeah,
• 2:10:54
  Speaker 2: I just don't read anything about me. Just stay away.
• 2:10:58
  Speaker 2: That's the best way.
• 2:10:59
  Speaker 1: Are you a who? When you're on stage, it can
• 2:11:02
  Speaker 1: be two hundred people laughing, but that one person who's
• 2:11:06
  Speaker 1: not laughing and knows the fuck out you can't even
• 2:11:08
  Speaker 1: enjoy the others. You don't even look at that person.
• 2:11:10
  Speaker 2: No, those people have their own problems.
• 2:11:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, But by the way, sometimes they're just not laughers,
• 2:11:17
  Speaker 1: because that person will sometimes come up to you and say,
• 2:11:19
  Speaker 1: love what you're doing, love the new stuff.
• 2:11:21
  Speaker 2: Some people just like to smile, they don't want to laugh,
• 2:11:23
  Speaker 2: They just want to sit there and watch, or they
• 2:11:25
  Speaker 2: just want to take it in. Take in the performance
• 2:11:27
  Speaker 2: doesn't mean they don't like it. And then some people
• 2:11:29
  Speaker 2: just are upset by everything. You can't control that just
• 2:11:33
  Speaker 2: control what I would. The only thing that bothers me
• 2:11:37
  Speaker 2: is if I'm off, that's it. If I'm off sometimes
• 2:11:40
  Speaker 2: if I stumble on a word, if I fuck something up,
• 2:11:42
  Speaker 2: that's the only thing that bothers me. And the audience
• 2:11:45
  Speaker 2: is like, you can't control that. Why be upset at
• 2:11:47
  Speaker 2: things you can't control? Because who knows what their trip is?
• 2:11:50
  Speaker 2: Who knows what they're carrying around with.
• 2:11:51
  Speaker 1: Them as a famous star? Now do you ever bomb?
• 2:11:57
  Speaker 2: I have jokes at Bomb for sure. New ones we
• 2:12:00
  Speaker 2: trot out a new one, especially like we do this
• 2:12:03
  Speaker 2: show called Bottom of the Barrel and bottom of the
• 2:12:06
  Speaker 2: Barrel at the Mothership is there's like a whiskey barrel
• 2:12:09
  Speaker 2: and you reach into the whiskey barrel and you pull
• 2:12:11
  Speaker 2: out premises, just ideas, and you just run with it
• 2:12:14
  Speaker 2: tonight actually, and so you pull out a piece of
• 2:12:17
  Speaker 2: paper and you know, have a subject, you know, ice
• 2:12:21
  Speaker 2: cream Sunday, whatever, whatever the fuck.
• 2:12:22
  Speaker 1: It is that takes intestinal for it.
• 2:12:24
  Speaker 2: Oh, a lot of those you fucking go nowhere.
• 2:12:28
  Speaker 1: But some of them don't.
• 2:12:30
  Speaker 2: Every now and then you get a great premise out
• 2:12:32
  Speaker 2: of those, and it's like a little premise factory. But
• 2:12:34
  Speaker 2: the audience knows it there. So it's different than like
• 2:12:38
  Speaker 2: when they go to see you and they paid money
• 2:12:39
  Speaker 2: and they're expecting a polished show and you have a
• 2:12:43
  Speaker 2: new joke and the new joke is just not right.
• 2:12:46
  Speaker 2: It's not ready, something's missing, you're not finding it, and
• 2:12:50
  Speaker 2: you're trying to work through it. Yeah, it's always gonna happen.
• 2:12:53
  Speaker 2: And if it doesn't happen, you're not taking enough chances.
• 2:12:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah. See, I'm not as chance to driven as you are.
• 2:13:01
  Speaker 1: I'd be afraid to do that because my feelings get
• 2:13:04
  Speaker 1: hurt too easy.
• 2:13:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, it's part of the process.
• 2:13:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're right, You're right. We should do the things
• 2:13:09
  Speaker 1: we fear.
• 2:13:10
  Speaker 2: You definitely have to. If you want to write new shit,
• 2:13:14
  Speaker 2: you're gonna have to. There's that moment where you're like,
• 2:13:16
  Speaker 2: do I trot this new one out?
• 2:13:19
  Speaker 1: Fuck it, let's go.
• 2:13:20
  Speaker 2: And you know, a lot of the new ones, the
• 2:13:22
  Speaker 2: way they come out, for me, at least first, is
• 2:13:26
  Speaker 2: just a frame. It doesn't have sides, it doesn't have windows,
• 2:13:29
  Speaker 2: it doesn't have doors. It's just a frame, and I
• 2:13:32
  Speaker 2: have to figure out how to make a house out
• 2:13:33
  Speaker 2: of that frame.
• 2:13:34
  Speaker 1: That's what I loved about going to the original room
• 2:13:37
  Speaker 1: back in the day when we were young, watching Richard
• 2:13:40
  Speaker 1: take out a pack of cigarettes, take a cigarette, and
• 2:13:43
  Speaker 1: Mitzi had those those smoke things that popped it got
• 2:13:48
  Speaker 1: smoke and everything, and Richard would have two minutes and
• 2:13:52
  Speaker 1: then he'd have five and we just build. Yeah, and
• 2:13:56
  Speaker 1: it was like a like when Grandma used to make
• 2:13:58
  Speaker 1: a quilt. Yeah it gets bigger, Yeah, you've got an hour.
• 2:14:01
  Speaker 1: I used to love watching him develop it.
• 2:14:04
  Speaker 2: I heard that Richard would go in on a Monday
• 2:14:08
  Speaker 2: and have a joke that bombed and then it would
• 2:14:10
  Speaker 2: be murdering by Saturday, and that that's what he would do.
• 2:14:14
  Speaker 2: It would just go and figure it out on stage.
• 2:14:16
  Speaker 2: Damon used to do that a lot. Damon used to
• 2:14:19
  Speaker 2: go and sit on stage and just sit with the premise,
• 2:14:23
  Speaker 2: just sit with it, and he would trot it out
• 2:14:26
  Speaker 2: for like ten minutes and try to figure out and
• 2:14:28
  Speaker 2: then finally he'd find something and everybody'd be dying.
• 2:14:31
  Speaker 1: We got away from that earlier, but I totally got
• 2:14:35
  Speaker 1: your point. Damon is one of the great ones, and
• 2:14:39
  Speaker 1: I hope he continues to do stand up and pop
• 2:14:41
  Speaker 1: out to the clubs because he's one of the great
• 2:14:43
  Speaker 1: wines that a lot of people don't realize.
• 2:14:45
  Speaker 2: They don't realize how great he was when he did
• 2:14:47
  Speaker 2: the Last Stand. That one HBO special that he did
• 2:14:50
  Speaker 2: way back in the day is a phenomenal special. It's phenomenal.
• 2:14:54
  Speaker 2: He was so good. But he wanted to be a
• 2:14:57
  Speaker 2: movie star.
• 2:14:58
  Speaker 1: You know, and like Richard, he had an ability to
• 2:15:02
  Speaker 1: also be vulnerable and tell the truth about something that
• 2:15:06
  Speaker 1: most of us wouldn't tell, like you talk about having
• 2:15:08
  Speaker 1: a club foot as a kid. Yeah, and he was
• 2:15:12
  Speaker 1: special and I'm glad he's back out there.
• 2:15:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, I think he never really start. You know.
• 2:15:17
  Speaker 2: One of the other things that he did that is
• 2:15:19
  Speaker 2: very unique. Damon brings a camera to all of his
• 2:15:23
  Speaker 2: shows and he films all of his shows and he
• 2:15:26
  Speaker 2: archives them every set he ever does.
• 2:15:29
  Speaker 1: Really yep, and he goes over it. That's work.
• 2:15:32
  Speaker 2: It's work because one of the things that he does,
• 2:15:34
  Speaker 2: like I said, is like he'll take a premise and
• 2:15:37
  Speaker 2: just try to find fine, try to find it on stage,
• 2:15:40
  Speaker 2: try to figure out what about it works, what about
• 2:15:42
  Speaker 2: it pops? Like what is it? And you know, I
• 2:15:46
  Speaker 2: guess like doing that with a camera and then you
• 2:15:48
  Speaker 2: can go home, sit and watch it on the computer
• 2:15:51
  Speaker 2: and just in this motherfucker. There's something here. I gotta
• 2:15:55
  Speaker 2: find it and just look at it from every angle.
• 2:15:58
  Speaker 2: Look at it over here, look at it over there,
• 2:16:00
  Speaker 2: try to do it backwards, try to figure out what
• 2:16:03
  Speaker 2: the fuck makes it work. And he would just he
• 2:16:06
  Speaker 2: had no fear of silence.
• 2:16:08
  Speaker 1: See that's that's the sentence. Right when it's quiet in
• 2:16:11
  Speaker 1: the comedy club, I lose my mind. Chris Rock does
• 2:16:17
  Speaker 1: that too.
• 2:16:18
  Speaker 2: Chris Rock did a lot of that at the comedy store.
• 2:16:20
  Speaker 2: He would come in and just he would have material
• 2:16:22
  Speaker 2: that he was working on. Like one time, I remember
• 2:16:25
  Speaker 2: I brought him up on stage and everyone's going crazy.
• 2:16:28
  Speaker 2: Chris Rocks here the chair and chair and chair, and
• 2:16:30
  Speaker 2: he goes, Relax, relax, it ain't gonna be that funny.
• 2:16:34
  Speaker 2: Just let people know I'm working on some new ship.
• 2:16:36
  Speaker 2: This ain't gonna be that funny. Yeah, and but with confidence,
• 2:16:40
  Speaker 2: like everybody already knew he's funny. They already saw a
• 2:16:44
  Speaker 2: binger and blacker, they already saw his specials. It wasn't
• 2:16:47
  Speaker 2: it was bring the pain everybody already knew.
• 2:16:50
  Speaker 1: Was the one where he shot with three different outfits
• 2:16:52
  Speaker 1: in three different places. One you didn't like that one?
• 2:16:55
  Speaker 2: No, not that I didn't like the material. I didn't
• 2:16:58
  Speaker 2: like the idea of swapping outfits. The problem with that
• 2:17:02
  Speaker 2: is that you realize he's saying the same thing in
• 2:17:04
  Speaker 2: all these different places. It takes away from the but
• 2:17:07
  Speaker 2: it takes away from the magic a performer. I want
• 2:17:10
  Speaker 2: to see you, and I don't want anything to distract
• 2:17:13
  Speaker 2: me from these I don't want to say, oh, he
• 2:17:15
  Speaker 2: just performs this the same way everywhere. I want you
• 2:17:20
  Speaker 2: to just be saying it. The magic. Like the trick
• 2:17:22
  Speaker 2: is you are in the moment with whatever you're talking about.
• 2:17:27
  Speaker 2: If you're changing outfits, and all of a sudden you're
• 2:17:29
  Speaker 2: in Johannesburg and now you're in Cleveland, Like, don't do
• 2:17:33
  Speaker 2: that to me? Why you gotta leather jacket on in
• 2:17:35
  Speaker 2: the beginning, and then the punchline, you got a fucking
• 2:17:38
  Speaker 2: silk shirt.
• 2:17:39
  Speaker 1: Uh, don't do that. See I saw it as a
• 2:17:42
  Speaker 1: guy creatively trying to find new horizons, do different things.
• 2:17:46
  Speaker 2: Summarizon suck. It's not that the jokes were great. It's
• 2:17:52
  Speaker 2: like he's a great comic. It's not that it's like
• 2:17:54
  Speaker 2: I just didn't like the idea of changing outfits. If
• 2:17:57
  Speaker 2: I was friends with him back then, I would say don't.
• 2:17:59
  Speaker 2: I don't like it all, And I would explain the
• 2:18:01
  Speaker 2: problem is you're taking people out of the premise and
• 2:18:04
  Speaker 2: then there's a new additional thing that they have to
• 2:18:06
  Speaker 2: think of. Oh there's a different set. Oh he's wearing
• 2:18:08
  Speaker 2: different clothes. It's a new thing to distract you from
• 2:18:11
  Speaker 2: the most the primary thing. The primary thing is what
• 2:18:14
  Speaker 2: are you talking about? Like, what is this thing you're
• 2:18:16
  Speaker 2: talking about? Let me get inside your head while you
• 2:18:18
  Speaker 2: explain this thing that's so hilarious. But if you're doing
• 2:18:22
  Speaker 2: that and changing outfits and changing stages is like, I
• 2:18:25
  Speaker 2: know you perform in different places. I know you wear
• 2:18:27
  Speaker 2: different clothes. Don't show me right now.
• 2:18:30
  Speaker 1: In retrospect, I wonder how he looks at that, specially if.
• 2:18:32
  Speaker 2: He yeah, I don't know. I mean he never did
• 2:18:35
  Speaker 2: it again.
• 2:18:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's well you don't want to do it again, right,
• 2:18:39
  Speaker 1: you know?
• 2:18:39
  Speaker 2: I mean he did it once, he tried it. Different
• 2:18:41
  Speaker 2: people like to do different things in Triumph. I just
• 2:18:44
  Speaker 2: didn't like that for that reason. I felt like it
• 2:18:46
  Speaker 2: was an added element that took me away from the
• 2:18:48
  Speaker 2: premise itself.
• 2:18:50
  Speaker 1: And by the way, something that's come out of this
• 2:18:53
  Speaker 1: conversation in my head is the guys who are the
• 2:18:56
  Speaker 1: best seem to go deeper and work the hardest and
• 2:19:00
  Speaker 1: talk about archiving. You're practicing all of them.
• 2:19:04
  Speaker 2: Damon has all of them. And he told me this
• 2:19:06
  Speaker 2: years ago because I saw him at the improv. He
• 2:19:10
  Speaker 2: was in the lab. We were in the big room
• 2:19:12
  Speaker 2: and he was in the lab. This was not that
• 2:19:13
  Speaker 2: long ago. When I say years ago, like ten, nine
• 2:19:17
  Speaker 2: years ago, something like that, And I go, you record
• 2:19:20
  Speaker 2: all of them? He's like, every set since like nineteen
• 2:19:23
  Speaker 2: ninety something. He goes, I record them all. I got
• 2:19:26
  Speaker 2: this camera, I take them all the archive him. I
• 2:19:29
  Speaker 2: put them on my computer. I'm like, whoa. It made
• 2:19:31
  Speaker 2: me think, fuck, I'm lazy.
• 2:19:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's exactly what I'm thinking. And I'm also thinking,
• 2:19:37
  Speaker 1: what an amazing documentary if we could go through the
• 2:19:42
  Speaker 1: history of Damon's personal archives, that would be a great Oh.
• 2:19:47
  Speaker 1: I think there's a special there.
• 2:19:48
  Speaker 2: Probably, yeah, probably, But I mean I think that's just
• 2:19:52
  Speaker 2: part of his creative process. And again, I just think
• 2:19:56
  Speaker 2: people don't realize, especially in the nineties the early nineties,
• 2:20:00
  Speaker 2: what a monster he was on stage. He was a monster.
• 2:20:04
  Speaker 2: He was one of the first guys that was like
• 2:20:05
  Speaker 2: a really famous guy that I saw at the store.
• 2:20:08
  Speaker 2: I came to the store in ninety four and he
• 2:20:11
  Speaker 2: was one of the first guys. Was like, oh shit,
• 2:20:13
  Speaker 2: Damon Walliams is here. Like it was weird. It was
• 2:20:15
  Speaker 2: like weird when people would show up like you'd seen
• 2:20:17
  Speaker 2: him in movies and shit, and all of a sudden
• 2:20:19
  Speaker 2: they're there in real life. You know. I was just
• 2:20:21
  Speaker 2: coming from New York. I didn't know anybody, and I
• 2:20:23
  Speaker 2: was like, this is so strange. I can't believe I'm
• 2:20:25
  Speaker 2: around these people.
• 2:20:26
  Speaker 1: So you went from Boston to New York, Boston and
• 2:20:29
  Speaker 1: New York, Rising Star. Where did you work out in
• 2:20:31
  Speaker 1: New York in those days?
• 2:20:32
  Speaker 2: Well, I did the Boston Comedy Club that you know,
• 2:20:35
  Speaker 2: the little place that Barrycats had. I did the Seller A. J.
• 2:20:40
  Speaker 2: Moore's manager, right, Yes, I did catch Rising Star back
• 2:20:45
  Speaker 2: when that was there. I did was there was a
• 2:20:49
  Speaker 2: comic strip, Yeah, I did the strip. Yeah, I did
• 2:20:53
  Speaker 2: the clubs in town. I did Danger Fields a lot.
• 2:20:55
  Speaker 2: But honestly, when I lived in New York, I really
• 2:20:58
  Speaker 2: liked doing the road more because when I did the road,
• 2:21:01
  Speaker 2: I could make money. So like I came up in Boston,
• 2:21:04
  Speaker 2: and in Boston you made a lot of your money
• 2:21:07
  Speaker 2: not in the clubs in town, but you made a
• 2:21:09
  Speaker 2: lot of your money in like the bar shows, you know,
• 2:21:12
  Speaker 2: outside of town, in the suburbs. And the thing about
• 2:21:15
  Speaker 2: that is like you could headline and so you could
• 2:21:17
  Speaker 2: do forty five minutes or an hour, and that that
• 2:21:21
  Speaker 2: allowed me to grow and like to really become a headliner. Whereas,
• 2:21:25
  Speaker 2: like I found like a lot of the New York
• 2:21:27
  Speaker 2: comics that I would go on the road with when
• 2:21:29
  Speaker 2: I would work with them, even when I was a
• 2:21:32
  Speaker 2: middle act, they were a headliner. They had like these
• 2:21:35
  Speaker 2: ten and fifteen minute sets that say'd stitched together to
• 2:21:39
  Speaker 2: put to make an hour. Whereas the guys that I
• 2:21:42
  Speaker 2: work with in Boston, like the big headliners in Boston,
• 2:21:44
  Speaker 2: they had a real hour, like that fucking that was
• 2:21:47
  Speaker 2: an hour of thunder. You know. They had a beginning,
• 2:21:50
  Speaker 2: a middle, and an end, and it was like tight.
• 2:21:52
  Speaker 1: It was tight.
• 2:21:54
  Speaker 2: And I felt like I could do sets in New York.
• 2:21:58
  Speaker 2: But I don't think it's really helping my career, right
• 2:22:00
  Speaker 2: there's no one there to see me. I felt like
• 2:22:04
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna make money, Like I could do a set
• 2:22:06
  Speaker 2: in New York and I make twenty five bucks, or
• 2:22:08
  Speaker 2: I could do a set in Connecticut and make two
• 2:22:09
  Speaker 2: hundred and fifty dollars. I was like, I'll go to Connecticut.
• 2:22:13
  Speaker 2: Plus like the people were more fun, They're more loose.
• 2:22:16
  Speaker 2: They are a bunch of fucking crazy drunks. I love
• 2:22:19
  Speaker 2: doing Long Island. I loved doing New Jersey. I liked
• 2:22:22
  Speaker 2: doing the road more. That's what I liked.
• 2:22:25
  Speaker 1: I think I'm a product of my childhood environment. I
• 2:22:31
  Speaker 1: discovered stand up because I was a drummer, had a band,
• 2:22:34
  Speaker 1: I was a magician, had doves, boxes and shit. And
• 2:22:37
  Speaker 1: then my house burned down. So I lost. Yeah, I
• 2:22:40
  Speaker 1: lost everything. But I had gone to an Al Green
• 2:22:43
  Speaker 1: concert and Al Green had a comic come out. House
• 2:22:47
  Speaker 1: lights are on, people are still making their way to
• 2:22:50
  Speaker 1: the seats, and this guy slowly gets them, and then
• 2:22:54
  Speaker 1: the lights go down and by the time he gets
• 2:22:57
  Speaker 1: to thirty minutes, he's killing and all he had was
• 2:23:00
  Speaker 1: a glass of juice something on the stool. And this
• 2:23:04
  Speaker 1: is a kid who just lost his house and his
• 2:23:06
  Speaker 1: cymbals and his Tom Tom's and his doves and his boxes.
• 2:23:08
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, that's me. Johnny was a stand up
• 2:23:12
  Speaker 1: So I'm still dreaming. Wow, And to this day, or
• 2:23:17
  Speaker 1: even when I start making a lot of money after
• 2:23:21
  Speaker 1: seeing that guy. I loved opening for people. I went
• 2:23:24
  Speaker 1: on the road with everybody from Lou Rawls to Patty LaBelle.
• 2:23:28
  Speaker 1: Still to comfortable doing thirty minutes because that's what I did,
• 2:23:32
  Speaker 1: but I had money, Like I would come to the
• 2:23:35
  Speaker 1: comedy store and I would have a really nice car
• 2:23:38
  Speaker 1: because I'd spend most of my time on the road
• 2:23:42
  Speaker 1: with Patrice Rushian and Johnny Guitar Watson.
• 2:23:45
  Speaker 2: Oh wow, that's a different world. Opening for musicians is
• 2:23:48
  Speaker 2: a different kind of comedy because like, they're not there
• 2:23:51
  Speaker 2: to see you.
• 2:23:52
  Speaker 1: And that's what I found to be the challenge. It's like,
• 2:23:54
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna make you motherfuckers who don't know me and
• 2:23:58
  Speaker 1: are mad because a lot of you know people would
• 2:24:00
  Speaker 1: look at you like I ain't wanted the temptations right,
• 2:24:03
  Speaker 1: you know, I gotta get them. And I liked that challenge.
• 2:24:07
  Speaker 2: It is a real challenge because there's a lot of
• 2:24:09
  Speaker 2: people like Boom bring on Metallica. Yeah yeah, they don't
• 2:24:15
  Speaker 2: want to see you. They want to see the music.
• 2:24:17
  Speaker 1: Act open for Blood, Sweat and Tears once wow, and
• 2:24:22
  Speaker 1: they really did not want to see me. You think
• 2:24:23
  Speaker 1: that Downny Guitar Watson. Audience didn't want to see me.
• 2:24:26
  Speaker 1: Then motherfuckers for Blood, Sweat and Tears not fucking with me.
• 2:24:30
  Speaker 2: Well, it's definitely running with weights on, though. If you
• 2:24:33
  Speaker 2: can make those people laugh, boy, you take those weights
• 2:24:36
  Speaker 2: off and go to a comedy club where they're there
• 2:24:37
  Speaker 2: to see you, it's like, oh.
• 2:24:40
  Speaker 1: Just there to see comedy made it easier.
• 2:24:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I just don't want to perform for people that
• 2:24:45
  Speaker 2: aren't there to see comedy. But there's a value in it,
• 2:24:48
  Speaker 2: I think.
• 2:24:49
  Speaker 1: But that's when you're young. Yeah, and I had a
• 2:24:52
  Speaker 1: nice car condo because I had just come off the
• 2:24:55
  Speaker 1: road with Aretha.
• 2:24:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I did a few of those. I opened up
• 2:24:59
  Speaker 2: for Jovi. Once I opened up for bon Jovi for
• 2:25:03
  Speaker 2: VH one, they had a theater in the round show
• 2:25:06
  Speaker 2: like a performance in the round. My job was to
• 2:25:08
  Speaker 2: open up for bon Jovi and then get the pretty
• 2:25:10
  Speaker 2: girls and move them to the front so that they
• 2:25:13
  Speaker 2: could be on camera. That's what they told me to do. Yeah,
• 2:25:15
  Speaker 2: So I did did some stand up and then I
• 2:25:17
  Speaker 2: had to get people come up here, come closer.
• 2:25:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I remember those times being on the road and
• 2:25:25
  Speaker 1: if there was six girls in the green room and
• 2:25:27
  Speaker 1: you're opening for the Temptations. Number six is yours. The
• 2:25:33
  Speaker 1: other five go first to the temps.
• 2:25:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a different world opening for musicians. That's a
• 2:25:40
  Speaker 2: hard world. And I know a lot of people like
• 2:25:42
  Speaker 2: made a living just traveling with bands and that's all
• 2:25:46
  Speaker 2: they did. They would just open up for bands.
• 2:25:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I would open up for R and b X.
• 2:25:51
  Speaker 1: And as a matter of fact, I got discovered by
• 2:25:54
  Speaker 1: a jazz singer, Nancy Wilson, and I used to love
• 2:25:56
  Speaker 1: jazz audiences because that was the perfect type of music
• 2:26:00
  Speaker 1: for a comic, jazz because they were mellow jazz audience,
• 2:26:03
  Speaker 1: don't scream, get the fuck off, right, they just you
• 2:26:07
  Speaker 1: know they.
• 2:26:08
  Speaker 2: Alonzo Bowden he does jazz tours still, like he'll do
• 2:26:12
  Speaker 2: like he'll do like a jazz cruise ship. Yeah, you know,
• 2:26:16
  Speaker 2: like and he'll do stand up with the jazz audiences.
• 2:26:20
  Speaker 1: Hey every year.
• 2:26:21
  Speaker 2: But he loves jazz.
• 2:26:22
  Speaker 1: I love jazz too. And I remember going to see
• 2:26:27
  Speaker 1: the Playboy Jazz Festival and Bill Cosby was the host
• 2:26:30
  Speaker 1: at the Hollywood Bowl. I host that every year. Now.
• 2:26:33
  Speaker 1: I still love jazz and that's the coolest two days
• 2:26:36
  Speaker 1: of my summer.
• 2:26:37
  Speaker 2: What is it about jazz?
• 2:26:40
  Speaker 1: About the actual By the way. The coolest experience was
• 2:26:45
  Speaker 1: sitting on the beach in Malibu with Miles Davis after
• 2:26:51
  Speaker 1: he came on the show. Once he says, well, did
• 2:26:53
  Speaker 1: you go to the house hang out? And he was
• 2:26:55
  Speaker 1: a painter and he was sitting with his trumpet. It
• 2:26:59
  Speaker 1: was a red trumpet. I had never seen a red trumpet,
• 2:27:02
  Speaker 1: like a crimson trumpet. And it was sitting beside him.
• 2:27:05
  Speaker 1: And he wouldn't use an easel. He had the canvas
• 2:27:08
  Speaker 1: on a table and he'd roll a new piece out
• 2:27:11
  Speaker 1: and he would paint. You ever thought about painting. I'm
• 2:27:16
  Speaker 1: not a good artist, but being a jazz fan, that
• 2:27:20
  Speaker 1: was the coolest moment ever. And what do I like
• 2:27:25
  Speaker 1: about it? I almost equate my comedy to jazz because
• 2:27:30
  Speaker 1: I love to say I'm going in d guys and
• 2:27:32
  Speaker 1: just play, you know, as a stand up You know,
• 2:27:37
  Speaker 1: I used to love to equate how I worked to jazz.
• 2:27:41
  Speaker 2: But it takes a very specific type of person to
• 2:27:43
  Speaker 2: be like a jazz fan that really enjoys listening to jazz.
• 2:27:47
  Speaker 1: I'm also a musician, and I know that some of
• 2:27:50
  Speaker 1: the most respected musicians in my mind are jazz musicians.
• 2:27:55
  Speaker 1: You know, the intricacy spending time with. I talk about
• 2:27:59
  Speaker 1: this in the book, spending time with Quincy Jones, who
• 2:28:03
  Speaker 1: was from the world of jazz and a former trumpet
• 2:28:06
  Speaker 1: player and all that stuff. Then he ends up the
• 2:28:10
  Speaker 1: year I meet him. He plays for me these tracks
• 2:28:13
  Speaker 1: and I don't know what I'm about to listen to,
• 2:28:15
  Speaker 1: and he says, hear that's he takes. He slides all
• 2:28:18
  Speaker 1: the slides down. He says, listening to this and he
• 2:28:20
  Speaker 1: plays this thing. I'm like, what is that? He says,
• 2:28:25
  Speaker 1: you ever heard of Sheila Man? And I said he
• 2:28:28
  Speaker 1: had the Escavito family, and I know the family, and
• 2:28:31
  Speaker 1: he says, she put different amounts of water in little
• 2:28:35
  Speaker 1: pop bottles and that's her tinging on those bottles. Then
• 2:28:39
  Speaker 1: he starts bringing up the pots and you hear the
• 2:28:42
  Speaker 1: bass and the drums, and you realize you're listening to
• 2:28:45
  Speaker 1: stuff from off the wall. And it's just this incredible
• 2:28:51
  Speaker 1: moment when I realized, Yo, he gets ready to bring
• 2:28:54
  Speaker 1: Michael back in a crazy way. I'm listening to you know,
• 2:28:59
  Speaker 1: you got men, you know, and he just take out
• 2:29:03
  Speaker 1: everything and just have Michael's voice. And I'd never been
• 2:29:05
  Speaker 1: in the recording studio and he's at the board eighteen
• 2:29:09
  Speaker 1: channel track studio and then he says, you're from Ohio, right,
• 2:29:14
  Speaker 1: And he'd seen me do stand up at the Roxy
• 2:29:16
  Speaker 1: and invited me to a studio. And he says you're
• 2:29:18
  Speaker 1: from Ohio, right, and I said yeah. And so he says,
• 2:29:20
  Speaker 1: let me play you this man, and you have to
• 2:29:22
  Speaker 1: take big giant reels and put him on this machine.
• 2:29:25
  Speaker 1: And he put the reels on and the song starts
• 2:29:28
  Speaker 1: and he says, this is a scratch track and I'm like,
• 2:29:29
  Speaker 1: what's that? He said, that's a demo and he says,
• 2:29:32
  Speaker 1: they want me to find a singer for this, and
• 2:29:34
  Speaker 1: he plays me James Ingram Find one hundred Ways, and
• 2:29:38
  Speaker 1: James Ingram just once brilliant, beautiful songs. And I'm like,
• 2:29:43
  Speaker 1: what's wrong with that guy? He says, yeah, I'm thinking
• 2:29:45
  Speaker 1: about it.
• 2:29:45
  Speaker 2: Man. He's pretty good. He pretty good.
• 2:29:46
  Speaker 1: And it ends up being the James Ingram from Ohio
• 2:29:49
  Speaker 1: And that was an incredible day. But I tell that
• 2:29:53
  Speaker 1: story to say, this great jazz musician had this talent
• 2:30:00
  Speaker 1: that other producers didn't have because of his music genius,
• 2:30:05
  Speaker 1: and he was able to bring us the Off the
• 2:30:07
  Speaker 1: Wall album and put Michael back in the mix.
• 2:30:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, layers and layers to the sound.
• 2:30:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the thing.
• 2:30:14
  Speaker 2: When you hear a song, you don't realize how much
• 2:30:16
  Speaker 2: shit is going on in.
• 2:30:17
  Speaker 1: The backward sheili Ewood pop Bottles easy. I loved that day.
• 2:30:23
  Speaker 1: That's a that's a favorite time. Because Michael had been missing,
• 2:30:26
  Speaker 1: you know, and I had bought the Moving Violation album,
• 2:30:30
  Speaker 1: so I knew he needed Quincy. Wow.
• 2:30:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there's some geniuses of music. Man. I had Rick
• 2:30:37
  Speaker 2: Rick Rubin on the podcast and he's explaining like his
• 2:30:41
  Speaker 2: creative process and just like that guy's out there.
• 2:30:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I had to go his way when I
• 2:30:47
  Speaker 1: started the talk show that I took over for Jon Rivers.
• 2:30:51
  Speaker 1: When I first had the idea that I want to
• 2:30:53
  Speaker 1: try to find my own friends of this show. I
• 2:30:56
  Speaker 1: want to find my show. And I put on on
• 2:31:00
  Speaker 1: LL Cool Jay doing a song called I'm Bad, And
• 2:31:06
  Speaker 1: that night I found what I was going to do,
• 2:31:08
  Speaker 1: Win or Lose. Next, I booked The Freaks Come Out
• 2:31:12
  Speaker 1: at Night Houdini. Oh, I remember that, And that was
• 2:31:16
  Speaker 1: so I found my home.
• 2:31:17
  Speaker 2: When you did the Joan Rivers thing, did you think
• 2:31:19
  Speaker 2: that that was going to lead to you doing your
• 2:31:21
  Speaker 2: own show?
• 2:31:21
  Speaker 1: Absolutely you did. I was like, I am because Joan
• 2:31:25
  Speaker 1: leaves goes through all the thing stuff she's going through,
• 2:31:29
  Speaker 1: and they give me this show for eleven weeks and
• 2:31:32
  Speaker 1: it starts to get numbers, and I know that she
• 2:31:37
  Speaker 1: left because of a lack of numbers, and I'm like, oh,
• 2:31:41
  Speaker 1: this shit is mine. So when I come back from
• 2:31:43
  Speaker 1: doing Coming to America, I'm gonna come back to Fox.
• 2:31:46
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna do this show. And one day I walk
• 2:31:49
  Speaker 1: into the cafeteria and I realized they had hired Conan
• 2:31:54
  Speaker 1: O'Brien to create a show, and I think the show
• 2:31:59
  Speaker 1: was called The North Report or something like that, but
• 2:32:02
  Speaker 1: I realized I wasn't in their future m so paramount.
• 2:32:09
  Speaker 1: They were popping over to say hi, sending me flowers.
• 2:32:13
  Speaker 1: And when I finished Coming to America, actually halfway through,
• 2:32:16
  Speaker 1: they were like, when you finish, you can do that
• 2:32:20
  Speaker 1: talk show here in first run syndication. And they had
• 2:32:22
  Speaker 1: to explain that to me. And at the same time,
• 2:32:25
  Speaker 1: I was being pitched by the King Brothers who created Oprah,
• 2:32:29
  Speaker 1: So I kind of understood that first run syndication could work.
• 2:32:31
  Speaker 1: Except Oprah had ABC Networks behind her, which is good.
• 2:32:35
  Speaker 1: I had some CBS affiliates and it all worked out
• 2:32:41
  Speaker 1: right now, with the exception of Byron Allen. I don't
• 2:32:44
  Speaker 1: think anybody gets rich in first run syndication.
• 2:32:48
  Speaker 2: Well, he's a very unusual case, you know. Yeah, yeah,
• 2:32:51
  Speaker 2: I mean he's figured out a cheat code. Yeah, Byron,
• 2:32:56
  Speaker 2: you know I.
• 2:32:56
  Speaker 1: Heard when they cheat him, he sues them and wins.
• 2:33:00
  Speaker 2: I think Byron Allen's show, Comics Unleashed is going to
• 2:33:03
  Speaker 2: replace Colbert absolutely.
• 2:33:05
  Speaker 1: That was just announced this week.
• 2:33:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Late Show will be replaced by Byron Allen's Comics Unleased.
• 2:33:10
  Speaker 2: That's crazy, that's how, you know, weird, Like late shows
• 2:33:14
  Speaker 2: just don't work anymore. They just don't have the same
• 2:33:18
  Speaker 2: thing anymore, like that standard model show where people like
• 2:33:23
  Speaker 2: I don't think they do well and they're expensive. Joe, Oh,
• 2:33:26
  Speaker 2: I can imagine. They were saying that Colbert Show was
• 2:33:29
  Speaker 2: costing them like fifty million dollars a year to keep
• 2:33:32
  Speaker 2: it on the air. That's I don't understand it, Like,
• 2:33:34
  Speaker 2: how how does it cost you so much money?
• 2:33:37
  Speaker 1: Oh?
• 2:33:37
  Speaker 2: Guys, well, but you know what I'm saying, Like you
• 2:33:39
  Speaker 2: have accas.
• 2:33:39
  Speaker 1: When there were three channels though, and only one had
• 2:33:42
  Speaker 1: a talk show, everybody was there, of course, and it
• 2:33:45
  Speaker 1: made sense. Yeah, it made dollars and sense.
• 2:33:49
  Speaker 2: There's also the problem that and when you compare it
• 2:33:52
  Speaker 2: to things that are on the internet, is that you
• 2:33:54
  Speaker 2: have to stop conversations every seven minutes for a commercial.
• 2:33:57
  Speaker 2: That's an issue. It's an issue with depth. You don't
• 2:34:00
  Speaker 2: get to go like you and I have been talking
• 2:34:02
  Speaker 2: for two hours and forty minutes.
• 2:34:04
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 2:34:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So like when you're doing this kind of thing,
• 2:34:08
  Speaker 2: you just flow. Everything flows, You just have a conversation,
• 2:34:11
  Speaker 2: you just have a good time. It's so different when
• 2:34:14
  Speaker 2: you're stuck in this format where you only have an hour.
• 2:34:19
  Speaker 2: Everything is like you got to cut to the commercial
• 2:34:20
  Speaker 2: in five fourth We'll be right back, Like we'll be
• 2:34:23
  Speaker 2: right back. Where are you going stay here? Like, no,
• 2:34:26
  Speaker 2: you have to sell tide, you know. It's like that
• 2:34:29
  Speaker 2: format is so limited, it's so restrictive that people knowing
• 2:34:35
  Speaker 2: that that that there's other things out there now where
• 2:34:38
  Speaker 2: you could just go and watch it anytime you want.
• 2:34:40
  Speaker 2: You don't have to tune in at eleven pm.
• 2:34:42
  Speaker 1: We must see TV and we would all gather as
• 2:34:45
  Speaker 1: a nation to watch the finale of Cheers.
• 2:34:48
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 2:34:48
  Speaker 1: And now we don't do anything together. Nope, no nation.
• 2:34:51
  Speaker 2: Except sports except like super Bowl. There's only sports, live
• 2:34:55
  Speaker 2: boxing events UFC, that kind of shit where it's live.
• 2:34:58
  Speaker 2: That is the only thing that people all watched together. Yeah,
• 2:35:02
  Speaker 2: that's it.
• 2:35:02
  Speaker 1: Did you watch Chris Rock live? Selective outrage?
• 2:35:06
  Speaker 2: I didn't watch his live special. I watched it after,
• 2:35:10
  Speaker 2: but I didn't watch.
• 2:35:10
  Speaker 1: It when it was so you knew it was available.
• 2:35:12
  Speaker 2: I was busy and we grew up.
• 2:35:14
  Speaker 1: It wasn't The shit wasn't available the second time.
• 2:35:17
  Speaker 2: But I did a live special on Netflix for that
• 2:35:19
  Speaker 2: very reason, just because I thought it was scary, just
• 2:35:21
  Speaker 2: because my last one I did live. And I only
• 2:35:24
  Speaker 2: did it live because the first time they asked me,
• 2:35:26
  Speaker 2: I said, no, fuck that. And then I was like
• 2:35:28
  Speaker 2: why being such a pussy. And I remember driving home,
• 2:35:31
  Speaker 2: I had a conversation with my manager and I called
• 2:35:32
  Speaker 2: it right back. I got, let me decide tomorrow, Like
• 2:35:36
  Speaker 2: I'm thinking about this hold on because I was driving
• 2:35:38
  Speaker 2: home feeling like I was a pussy for not wanting
• 2:35:40
  Speaker 2: to do it live.
• 2:35:41
  Speaker 1: And now, in retrospect, what did you get out of
• 2:35:43
  Speaker 1: agreeing to do it live? Fear you wanted to feel that?
• 2:35:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I wanted to be nervous. I was legitimately nervous.
• 2:35:52
  Speaker 2: I never get nervous for shows anymore.
• 2:35:54
  Speaker 1: I get when you have when you're killing a while
• 2:35:58
  Speaker 1: I heard you talk about killing a wild hog when
• 2:36:00
  Speaker 1: you go hunting, like that is the same kind.
• 2:36:02
  Speaker 2: Of it's a very different kind of fear. That's a
• 2:36:05
  Speaker 2: primal thing that's very different. It's a very different thing.
• 2:36:08
  Speaker 2: That's like, that's a life or death you're in. That
• 2:36:12
  Speaker 2: that's a weird that's a weird primal connection with nature
• 2:36:16
  Speaker 2: where you're gonna eat this thing. You're sneaking up on
• 2:36:19
  Speaker 2: this thing that has these survival instincts and senses smell,
• 2:36:23
  Speaker 2: ears pop up, and you have you know, you don't
• 2:36:25
  Speaker 2: want to fuck it up either. You have one moment
• 2:36:28
  Speaker 2: to take a shot. That's even more intense. Honestly, like
• 2:36:31
  Speaker 2: elk hunting with a bow and arrow is even more
• 2:36:33
  Speaker 2: intense than doing a live comedy special. If you could
• 2:36:36
  Speaker 2: believe it.
• 2:36:38
  Speaker 1: Wow, Yeah, yeah, I believe it.
• 2:36:40
  Speaker 2: I like things that scare me. I like things that
• 2:36:43
  Speaker 2: are scary to do because I think it's good for you.
• 2:36:46
  Speaker 1: Except cocaine.
• 2:36:48
  Speaker 2: I don't want to ruin my life. That's the vowe.
• 2:36:50
  Speaker 2: I Just like I said, I don't hear any success
• 2:36:53
  Speaker 2: stories from cocaine. You know, nobody's like, nobody's got like
• 2:36:57
  Speaker 2: a meth story. It's like now I started doing I
• 2:37:00
  Speaker 2: started seeing the world for what it really is, start
• 2:37:03
  Speaker 2: being more at peace. I was living in a moment.
• 2:37:06
  Speaker 1: And nobody says, right before I invented the hard drive,
• 2:37:09
  Speaker 1: I did coke for three days.
• 2:37:11
  Speaker 2: Right now, No, I'm not interested in anything's going to
• 2:37:15
  Speaker 2: ruin my life. But I'm interested in things that are
• 2:37:18
  Speaker 2: going to help me grow and help me expand my
• 2:37:22
  Speaker 2: capacity to do things that are scary.
• 2:37:25
  Speaker 1: Would you do Stand Up Live Again?
• 2:37:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah? I'm thinking about doing my next one live again too.
• 2:37:31
  Speaker 2: He liked it.
• 2:37:32
  Speaker 1: Did you did you make any mistakes?
• 2:37:34
  Speaker 2: That No, I didn't make any mistakes. But I prepared
• 2:37:36
  Speaker 2: more than I ever prepared before. One of the things
• 2:37:39
  Speaker 2: I did, I listened to my recordings every night, and
• 2:37:42
  Speaker 2: I wrote out my act over and over and over
• 2:37:44
  Speaker 2: and over again. I wrote it out. I wrote it
• 2:37:47
  Speaker 2: out both on paper like hand to paper, and I
• 2:37:50
  Speaker 2: wrote it out with keys like typing it on a laptop.
• 2:37:53
  Speaker 2: I did it over and over again. I listened to recordings,
• 2:37:56
  Speaker 2: I watched recordings. I way more preparation than I had
• 2:38:00
  Speaker 2: done before for any other show.
• 2:38:01
  Speaker 1: The night that you did it, did you change anything
• 2:38:04
  Speaker 1: or do anything new?
• 2:38:05
  Speaker 2: No? No, But I was free. That felt very loose.
• 2:38:08
  Speaker 2: Once once the show started, I felt like a regular show.
• 2:38:11
  Speaker 2: I didn't because I was prepared. But it's just like
• 2:38:13
  Speaker 2: a fight. Like if you go into a fight and
• 2:38:16
  Speaker 2: you're like, oh, I should have done more road work. Oh,
• 2:38:17
  Speaker 2: I should have sparred more. Oh I should have hit
• 2:38:19
  Speaker 2: the paths more. You're you know, that's not a good
• 2:38:21
  Speaker 2: place to be. To hope that you could pull it off,
• 2:38:24
  Speaker 2: you have to be one hundred percent prepared. And that's
• 2:38:27
  Speaker 2: the thing about doing a live show, as opposed to
• 2:38:30
  Speaker 2: usually when I would film a special, I would have
• 2:38:33
  Speaker 2: four shows, so I'd film all four of them, and
• 2:38:36
  Speaker 2: I'd be like, ah, find one of them is gonna
• 2:38:38
  Speaker 2: be great, I'll just use that one.
• 2:38:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:38:40
  Speaker 2: But when it's just one and the whole world, like
• 2:38:43
  Speaker 2: millions of people are watching simultaneously, it's very scary.
• 2:38:47
  Speaker 1: Makes you prepare.
• 2:38:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it makes you prepare. It makes you prepare, and
• 2:38:51
  Speaker 2: it also it's like it's fucking fun to do something
• 2:38:54
  Speaker 2: that scares the shit out of you, Like, let's go
• 2:38:57
  Speaker 2: where did you shoot it? Go? Antonio? Okay, Yeah, that's cool.
• 2:39:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I've only done one net.
• 2:39:05
  Speaker 2: I barely leave Texas these days. Really fucking love it here.
• 2:39:09
  Speaker 2: I love it. I love it.
• 2:39:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it was amazing when you made the move, man,
• 2:39:13
  Speaker 1: because that's why I asked you when we first start talking,
• 2:39:16
  Speaker 1: it's like, were you thinking about this in La but
• 2:39:19
  Speaker 1: way back, like twenty years ago.
• 2:39:21
  Speaker 2: I was thinking twenty years ago about getting out. I
• 2:39:24
  Speaker 2: moved to Colorado for a little while in two thousand
• 2:39:27
  Speaker 2: and nine, but legal weed. No, no, no no. I
• 2:39:33
  Speaker 2: just wanted to get out. I just wanted to try.
• 2:39:36
  Speaker 2: But I went too crazy. I got a house in
• 2:39:38
  Speaker 2: the mountains that was eighty five hundred feet above sea level.
• 2:39:42
  Speaker 2: It was like it was too much. But when I
• 2:39:45
  Speaker 2: came back to La, I always had this thing like,
• 2:39:49
  Speaker 2: eventually I got to get out of here. First of all,
• 2:39:51
  Speaker 2: I always thought La is one hundred percent going to
• 2:39:54
  Speaker 2: have a massive earthquake one day, like a massive earthquake
• 2:39:58
  Speaker 2: where everything fucks up and falls.
• 2:40:00
  Speaker 1: You lived through the North Rege earthquake.
• 2:40:02
  Speaker 2: I didn't know. I came to California right after it happened,
• 2:40:06
  Speaker 2: and when I got there, like parts of like one
• 2:40:08
  Speaker 2: of the freeways was collapsed on the other one. I
• 2:40:10
  Speaker 2: was like, this is nuts. The freeways fall down here,
• 2:40:13
  Speaker 2: this is crazy. So I feel like I've always been
• 2:40:16
  Speaker 2: thinking that there's gonna come a time where that place
• 2:40:18
  Speaker 2: just breaks off and sinks into the ocean, and it's
• 2:40:21
  Speaker 2: just not well run. Like the whole thing is like
• 2:40:25
  Speaker 2: just waiting for one little catastrophe. There's very little coordination,
• 2:40:31
  Speaker 2: very little people don't they don't. There's not like a
• 2:40:35
  Speaker 2: sense of community in the greater Los Angeles area like
• 2:40:38
  Speaker 2: you get in a smaller place like Austin. Austin feels
• 2:40:43
  Speaker 2: like a small town that has everything you want, whereas
• 2:40:46
  Speaker 2: La just feels like a poorly run, bureaucracy driven, chaotic
• 2:40:53
  Speaker 2: hill game. It's like just a shell game of bullshit
• 2:40:58
  Speaker 2: and money and people just grifting and fucking. The homeless
• 2:41:04
  Speaker 2: situation's nuts, Like everything's nuts in La. It's just beyond fixing.
• 2:41:09
  Speaker 2: I think here in Austin a lot of homeless, not
• 2:41:12
  Speaker 2: nearly as many. I mean, it's very small problem. You're
• 2:41:15
  Speaker 2: always gonna have homeless people because you're always gonna have
• 2:41:17
  Speaker 2: mental illness, you always gonna have drug addiction, You're always
• 2:41:20
  Speaker 2: gonna have some people that have problems. But in comparison,
• 2:41:23
  Speaker 2: like skid Row is fifty blocks, yeah, fifty blocks, five
• 2:41:29
  Speaker 2: zero blocks of homeless people just outside, just camped out.
• 2:41:34
  Speaker 1: I left a Laker game recently and went through that area.
• 2:41:38
  Speaker 2: It's not broke my heart, man, it broke my heart.
• 2:41:41
  Speaker 2: In two thousand and five, I was filming Fear Factor
• 2:41:45
  Speaker 2: downtown in like two thousand and five.
• 2:41:47
  Speaker 1: Shout out to David Hurwitz. You know, Dave was my intern.
• 2:41:52
  Speaker 1: I set him up for you coming.
• 2:41:55
  Speaker 2: We're crazy, that's crazy. Yeah, we were filming town and
• 2:42:00
  Speaker 2: I went for I was driving home and I took
• 2:42:02
  Speaker 2: a wrong turn and all of a sudden, I was in
• 2:42:04
  Speaker 2: skid row. I was like, this is crazy, and this
• 2:42:07
  Speaker 2: was back then and no one was talking about it
• 2:42:09
  Speaker 2: back then. I was like, there's so many almost people.
• 2:42:11
  Speaker 2: It's like a zombie movie. I remember. I came to
• 2:42:13
  Speaker 2: the set the next day. I was like, you guys
• 2:42:15
  Speaker 2: are forgo. Go this way and take a left. It's
• 2:42:17
  Speaker 2: fucking nuts. There's so many homeless people. Again, they've they've
• 2:42:21
  Speaker 2: figured out a way to keep them there. They just
• 2:42:24
  Speaker 2: pushed people there, like they started doing it decades ago,
• 2:42:28
  Speaker 2: where they would take all the problem people out of
• 2:42:30
  Speaker 2: Los Angeles and Beverly Hills and they would just bring
• 2:42:33
  Speaker 2: in a downtown and go, you got to stay here
• 2:42:35
  Speaker 2: and that's what created skid row.
• 2:42:36
  Speaker 1: When we were kids, I used to hear about mental institutions.
• 2:42:41
  Speaker 1: We don't have that anymore.
• 2:42:42
  Speaker 2: Oh, they shut them down during the Reagan administration. That
• 2:42:45
  Speaker 2: was one of the giant errors of society when they
• 2:42:48
  Speaker 2: shut down all the mental health institutions and they just
• 2:42:51
  Speaker 2: let all these people just exist on the street with
• 2:42:53
  Speaker 2: schizophrenia and just let them do drugs, and then in
• 2:42:57
  Speaker 2: some places give them drugs and give them needles, encourage
• 2:43:00
  Speaker 2: them to come there, and give them money so they
• 2:43:02
  Speaker 2: could stay on the street.
• 2:43:04
  Speaker 1: Austin loves you. But you ever think about back in
• 2:43:07
  Speaker 1: the day, not leaving California and running for governor?
• 2:43:10
  Speaker 2: Fuck that. I don't want to be a politician. Why
• 2:43:12
  Speaker 2: would I want that job? You want to tell job?
• 2:43:14
  Speaker 1: You want the problem? You see? You want to help?
• 2:43:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you ain't helping nothing. Man, You're gonna get killed
• 2:43:19
  Speaker 2: If I my help would be expose all the fraud
• 2:43:22
  Speaker 2: and lock everybody up. But then they wind up killing me.
• 2:43:24
  Speaker 1: Then you'd lose the big money from the rich.
• 2:43:27
  Speaker 2: They're not gonna give it to me anyway. It's like
• 2:43:29
  Speaker 2: that guy. I'm not I wouldn't be good at it.
• 2:43:32
  Speaker 2: I wouldn't be good at the job. I'd be good
• 2:43:33
  Speaker 2: advisor to tell people what the people want, but no
• 2:43:36
  Speaker 2: one's gonna listen. I think politics we're talking about with
• 2:43:39
  Speaker 2: money being involved in it, it's almost inexorably unfixable. It's
• 2:43:44
  Speaker 2: almost impossible to untangle that fucking.
• 2:43:49
  Speaker 1: Beehive of chaos.
• 2:43:51
  Speaker 2: Yes, so much dirty money involves.
• 2:43:53
  Speaker 1: And if I'm a politician, I'm not gonna stop taking
• 2:43:56
  Speaker 1: his money. I'm not gonna be first. If we all
• 2:43:58
  Speaker 1: going to do this, I'm not gonna be first.
• 2:44:00
  Speaker 2: Exactly, Look at all these congressmen that make, you know,
• 2:44:03
  Speaker 2: one hundred and seventy thousand dollars a year and they're
• 2:44:05
  Speaker 2: worth eighty million. How the fuck did that happen? Would
• 2:44:08
  Speaker 2: you you do? And how did you How do you
• 2:44:10
  Speaker 2: have time to invest? Aren't you busy being a congress person?
• 2:44:13
  Speaker 2: How the fuck do you have all that money? You
• 2:44:15
  Speaker 2: got all that money because you're a grifter. They're all grifting,
• 2:44:18
  Speaker 2: and they're all just like doing it sneaky. It's red
• 2:44:21
  Speaker 2: and blue. If you look at we pulled up the
• 2:44:23
  Speaker 2: numbers of people, whether it's a Democrat or Republican, how
• 2:44:27
  Speaker 2: many of them are insider trading.
• 2:44:28
  Speaker 1: It's across the board.
• 2:44:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they all have just unexplainable amounts of money. It's
• 2:44:35
  Speaker 2: a dirty fucking business.
• 2:44:37
  Speaker 1: It's not like one of the parties loves money more
• 2:44:39
  Speaker 1: than the other. No, they're all no. See. I get
• 2:44:42
  Speaker 1: in trouble for that because usually my humor is written
• 2:44:45
  Speaker 1: around not liking any of them. Yeah, and people want
• 2:44:50
  Speaker 1: me to take a side.
• 2:44:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a problem.
• 2:44:52
  Speaker 1: I had a joke in my Netflix special about you know,
• 2:44:56
  Speaker 1: the Democrat versus the Republican that was running at that time,
• 2:44:59
  Speaker 1: and it was like, that's like asking me who my
• 2:45:01
  Speaker 1: favorite Menindez brother motherfuckers did not.
• 2:45:07
  Speaker 2: That's a great.
• 2:45:12
  Speaker 1: He made them prison with a two face.
• 2:45:15
  Speaker 2: Weren't they trying to get them out recently? Oh yeah, bro,
• 2:45:18
  Speaker 2: that documentary on them was nuts. The docu drama series
• 2:45:22
  Speaker 2: where they recreated it.
• 2:45:23
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, I love documentaries.
• 2:45:26
  Speaker 2: Well that was a docu drama like like the recreated actor,
• 2:45:31
  Speaker 2: so you don't know how much of it is true,
• 2:45:32
  Speaker 2: but boy did they come off like fucking complete psychos.
• 2:45:35
  Speaker 1: I remember for the O. J. Simpson uh scripted doc
• 2:45:40
  Speaker 1: they wanted me to come read for OJ what And
• 2:45:43
  Speaker 1: I'm like, yo, ahead, judge barking because I just recognized
• 2:45:50
  Speaker 1: boy as me exactly.
• 2:45:51
  Speaker 2: That wouldn't work at all. That's crazy.
• 2:45:53
  Speaker 1: I think they chose Kuba Gooding Jr.
• 2:45:55
  Speaker 2: That's right, that's right. He actually did a great job.
• 2:45:59
  Speaker 2: But what a that That story was nuts. He was
• 2:46:03
  Speaker 2: the first famous there it.
• 2:46:04
  Speaker 1: Is, yes, Wow, and that's Kim's dad. Wow, that's mister Kardashian.
• 2:46:11
  Speaker 1: Such a Dravolta in there too.
• 2:46:13
  Speaker 2: I forgot your Yeah, yeah there it's Those are fucking
• 2:46:17
  Speaker 2: so weird. It's the dream team, famous people pretending to.
• 2:46:21
  Speaker 1: Be other famous piano. So I do a story in
• 2:46:25
  Speaker 1: my book about OJ coming to stage twenty nine at
• 2:46:29
  Speaker 1: Paramount to whip my ass one time, but he was
• 2:46:32
  Speaker 1: angry and.
• 2:46:34
  Speaker 2: You said, joke on.
• 2:46:37
  Speaker 1: I booked Is when Naked Gun was out, and I
• 2:46:42
  Speaker 1: booked Leslie Nielsen and we got a call from OJ's
• 2:46:47
  Speaker 1: people because he wanted to come on. Obviously he was
• 2:46:49
  Speaker 1: in that movie, but the second one it had legs.
• 2:46:52
  Speaker 1: So I booked Priscilla Presley, who is a great guest
• 2:46:56
  Speaker 1: and a lot of history. And after that, I get
• 2:47:00
  Speaker 1: a call from the Gate. O. J. Simpson here at
• 2:47:03
  Speaker 1: the Grate and he wants to talk to you, and
• 2:47:05
  Speaker 1: he didn't park. He didn't want a space. He parked
• 2:47:08
  Speaker 1: outside the Elephant door stage twenty nine and wanted me
• 2:47:12
  Speaker 1: to come out. Oh oh yeah. And by the way,
• 2:47:15
  Speaker 1: this is this is at a time when we didn't
• 2:47:16
  Speaker 1: know he cut him off, his head.
• 2:47:18
  Speaker 2: Off, you know, also at a time we didn't know
• 2:47:20
  Speaker 2: about CTE.
• 2:47:21
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, which.
• 2:47:22
  Speaker 2: Is probably a lot of what OJ was going through,
• 2:47:26
  Speaker 2: a lot of that violent behavior. Yeah, there's probably a
• 2:47:30
  Speaker 2: lot of CTE.
• 2:47:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, man, I mean when you think about it, those
• 2:47:34
  Speaker 1: days in San Francisco when he couldn't quite cut the
• 2:47:37
  Speaker 1: way he used to. He was getting hit, he was
• 2:47:38
  Speaker 1: taking head on shots. Oh yeah.
• 2:47:41
  Speaker 2: And NFL back then was nuts.
• 2:47:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel bad for him and Junior Seau and
• 2:47:45
  Speaker 1: some of those guys. Junior sayou was trying to scream
• 2:47:47
  Speaker 1: to us what was going on? Right, you know, he
• 2:47:50
  Speaker 1: committed suicide, left the note leftist, made sure he didn't
• 2:47:53
  Speaker 1: damage his brain with the bullet.
• 2:47:55
  Speaker 2: Right, so they can check it out.
• 2:47:57
  Speaker 1: But OJ stopped buying and we had a talk and.
• 2:48:00
  Speaker 2: And so he was mad that you didn't have him
• 2:48:01
  Speaker 2: on the show.
• 2:48:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he was a little man. And but was it
• 2:48:05
  Speaker 1: your call? Oh yeah, I mean, but by the way,
• 2:48:11
  Speaker 1: it was my call to just do things that would
• 2:48:14
  Speaker 1: get numbers, you know, well, the the Leslie Neilson one.
• 2:48:20
  Speaker 1: I liked him because I saw him someplace with a
• 2:48:22
  Speaker 1: little thing in his hand to make fart noises. I
• 2:48:25
  Speaker 1: saw that, Yes, so I knew that. I would say
• 2:48:28
  Speaker 1: to him, so you got a big hit here. You
• 2:48:31
  Speaker 1: didn't even do it, squeezed the thing and yeah, I
• 2:48:35
  Speaker 1: was just trying to find the funniest guest. And o
• 2:48:38
  Speaker 1: J you know, he told me he said some ship
• 2:48:40
  Speaker 1: about uh, you know, I thought having a black host
• 2:48:43
  Speaker 1: things would be different, you know. And I'm like, don't
• 2:48:46
  Speaker 1: you play the race card? Yeah, yeah, not you, juice.
• 2:48:52
  Speaker 1: But I ran into him in a club one night.
• 2:48:56
  Speaker 1: I was hanging out with a couple of members of
• 2:48:57
  Speaker 1: New Edition and we're in this club and he comes
• 2:49:01
  Speaker 1: over and he gets drunk with us, and after we're
• 2:49:05
  Speaker 1: pretty tanked, Nicole and this gorgeous girl named fay Resnick.
• 2:49:10
  Speaker 1: I'll never forget her name. She was beautiful, and these
• 2:49:14
  Speaker 1: two women come over and I realized, oh so, because
• 2:49:17
  Speaker 1: OJ is alone, I realized he was going to places
• 2:49:21
  Speaker 1: finding her. And so so she comes over and she says, Jews,
• 2:49:26
  Speaker 1: you know, and she's what do you do?
• 2:49:27
  Speaker 2: You know?
• 2:49:27
  Speaker 1: And he says, hang out with these guys, and he's
• 2:49:30
  Speaker 1: you know, when you drunk, spit be flying. I wasn't
• 2:49:32
  Speaker 1: drunk enough that I didn't see the spit, and so
• 2:49:36
  Speaker 1: she said, well, I'm gonna be over here with Faye
• 2:49:38
  Speaker 1: and blah blah blah. Say something before you leave. And
• 2:49:41
  Speaker 1: so we sit there and talk. But he said something
• 2:49:43
  Speaker 1: at night that blew me away. We talked about her
• 2:49:47
  Speaker 1: and he said, I still love her. I've tried to
• 2:49:49
  Speaker 1: give her.
• 2:49:49
  Speaker 2: Up and I can't. Wow, And that's crazy.
• 2:49:54
  Speaker 1: Not too much later, she was dead. That's what that's
• 2:49:58
  Speaker 1: around the time too. Remember missing the show because one
• 2:50:02
  Speaker 1: thing that's addictive about the talk show is anything in
• 2:50:06
  Speaker 1: the news.
• 2:50:06
  Speaker 2: You get to handle it right.
• 2:50:08
  Speaker 1: And I remember watching a basketball game and seeing the
• 2:50:11
  Speaker 1: freeway chase with the Bronco and I was like, I
• 2:50:15
  Speaker 1: want a monologue tomorrow. You know. I couldn't believe I
• 2:50:19
  Speaker 1: didn't have a show that night. That's the only time
• 2:50:21
  Speaker 1: I've ever really missed it, because most of the time
• 2:50:23
  Speaker 1: you just go to the store, right right right. I
• 2:50:26
  Speaker 1: wanted to talk to the nation that night.
• 2:50:28
  Speaker 2: Well, listen, brother, you had a gigantic impact on culture.
• 2:50:32
  Speaker 2: You really did. Your show was amazing. You know, you
• 2:50:35
  Speaker 2: live an incredible life, and I'm really happy to hear
• 2:50:37
  Speaker 2: that you're happy now and just enjoying life, you know,
• 2:50:41
  Speaker 2: and you look fucking fantastic for seventy that's amazing.
• 2:50:45
  Speaker 1: Thank you, man, I appreciate you inviting me. This is
• 2:50:48
  Speaker 1: one of those shows.
• 2:50:50
  Speaker 2: Next time you're kind of come to the club. Next
• 2:50:52
  Speaker 2: time you're in town too, let me know the show.
• 2:50:55
  Speaker 2: Want to come. But I came to the Way Club.
• 2:50:57
  Speaker 1: I look at the mothership behind you, the Neon mothership.
• 2:51:00
  Speaker 2: That was actually before the Mothership was made. Oh yeah,
• 2:51:04
  Speaker 2: this this was six years old. This sign. This is
• 2:51:07
  Speaker 2: we got this sign. My friend Brigham got me this
• 2:51:10
  Speaker 2: when I first moved to Austin.
• 2:51:12
  Speaker 1: So what did the spaceship mean? Before there was a club?
• 2:51:15
  Speaker 2: Just UFO fanatic? Okay, I've always been obsessed because.
• 2:51:20
  Speaker 1: That looked like some shit. I went to a parliament
• 2:51:22
  Speaker 1: funkadyllic concept where they landed and some shit like that,
• 2:51:25
  Speaker 1: and George couldn't came out and saying one nation under
• 2:51:28
  Speaker 1: a group.
• 2:51:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah wow, I've just always been obsessed. That's all it is.
• 2:51:32
  Speaker 2: But next time you're in town, you're coming.
• 2:51:34
  Speaker 1: I promise, absolutely right, I'll come I won't be in town.
• 2:51:38
  Speaker 1: I'll figure out a way to hit you and say, Siri, Joe,
• 2:51:43
  Speaker 1: I'm coming. I'll be here. And thanks for doing this man,
• 2:51:46
  Speaker 1: because your demographic reads and I know I sold some
• 2:51:51
  Speaker 1: books today.
• 2:51:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and tell everybody the name of your book.
• 2:51:53
  Speaker 1: And oh, we had a long ass meeting about that.
• 2:51:56
  Speaker 1: Do we call it things that make you go? A
• 2:51:58
  Speaker 1: life that makes you go? Do we call it? We
• 2:52:01
  Speaker 1: didn't know what and then finally one day we named
• 2:52:03
  Speaker 1: it our Sineo perfect. That's it, that's perfect. And there's
• 2:52:08
  Speaker 1: a book on tape for those who don't like to
• 2:52:09
  Speaker 1: read or that's the book. And you know what, if
• 2:52:11
  Speaker 1: you open it and you don't want to read it,
• 2:52:13
  Speaker 1: they're really cool pictures inside there you go, all right,
• 2:52:18
  Speaker 1: the art department through some AI on me. I'm thirty
• 2:52:21
  Speaker 1: five and five right now.
• 2:52:24
  Speaker 2: All right, I appreciate you, brother, Thank you, Bye, everybody,