Latest / Andy Stanley Sermons / Andy Stanley - Love, Dates & Heartbreaks, Part 1 Finding The Right Person For You

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Andy Stanley - Love, Dates & Heartbreaks, Part 1 Finding The Right Person For You · Andy Stanley Sermons

0:01
Speaker 1: Hey, today we're kicking off our brand new series that
0:03
Speaker 1: I'm super excited about, Love Dates and Heartbreaks. And as
0:06
Speaker 1: we jump into this real quick, I wanna tell you
0:08
Speaker 1: who this is for. This is for students who want
0:11
Speaker 1: to date and hope to date. This is for graduates
0:13
Speaker 1: who wanna date and hope to date. This is for
0:16
Speaker 1: singles who are dating. This is for married people who
0:19
Speaker 1: are trying to make their marriages better. This is for
0:21
Speaker 1: people who used to be married and are jumping back
0:23
Speaker 1: into the The scary, awful aquarium of dating where it
0:27
Speaker 1: just seems so complicated and it's not like it was
0:29
Speaker 1: when you were 18 and you're trying to figure that out.
0:32
Speaker 1: So this series is really for anybody who's in a
0:34
Speaker 1: romantic relationship, wants to be in a romantic relationship, hopes
0:37
Speaker 1: to be, and is trying to figure it out. And
0:39
Speaker 1: the thing is, I don't have to tell you this,
0:41
Speaker 1: it's complicated. It's complicated when you're 13. It's complicated when
0:45
Speaker 1: you're 16. It's complicated when you're 26, 36, or 56.
0:49
Speaker 1: And one of the reasons that I'm super excited about
0:51
Speaker 1: this series as well is this series gives me an
0:54
Speaker 1: opportunity to talk about something that breaks my heart. And
0:57
Speaker 1: a few years ago, I challenged you. I said, hey,
0:59
Speaker 1: what breaks your heart? Because sometimes when people answer the question,
1:02
Speaker 1: what breaks my heart, it leads to extraordinary change and
1:04
Speaker 1: extraordinary things. culture. And one of the things that breaks
1:08
Speaker 1: my heart has to do with what we're going to
1:10
Speaker 1: talk about, because watching people make relationship decisions that undermine
1:14
Speaker 1: their relationships, that just breaks my heart. I mean, watching
1:18
Speaker 1: people make decisions about their own relationships, whether it's marriage
1:21
Speaker 1: or dating or whatever it might be, that I know,
1:23
Speaker 1: and I'm not super dialed in. I mean, most people
1:25
Speaker 1: would watch them and think, oh no, you're going to
1:27
Speaker 1: do what? Watching people make what's already complicated and More complicated,
1:33
Speaker 1: making relationships that are already complicated more complicated, that just
1:36
Speaker 1: breaks my heart. There is already enough, isn't this true?
1:39
Speaker 1: There's enough unavoidable pain in the world, the last thing
1:42
Speaker 1: we need to do is to add to it with
1:44
Speaker 1: our own decisions. And like you, it's not just me,
1:47
Speaker 1: sometimes I watch people and I think, have you thought
1:50
Speaker 1: that through? I mean, have you really thought that through?
1:52
Speaker 1: Or have you, come on, have you really ever seen
1:54
Speaker 1: that work out anywhere else with anybody else? I mean,
1:57
Speaker 1: it works out on Netflix, but I mean, in the
2:00
Speaker 1: real world, Have you ever seen that actually work out
2:03
Speaker 1: in a real relationship, right? You've had these same thoughts
2:06
Speaker 1: or I think, has no one warned you about this?
2:09
Speaker 1: I mean, did your mama not warn you or your
2:11
Speaker 1: grandmama or your dad or a friend or a roommate?
2:13
Speaker 1: I mean, am I the only one trying to get
2:15
Speaker 1: in your way to say, hey, you need to think
2:17
Speaker 1: this through? And so it breaks my heart to see
2:20
Speaker 1: people unnecessarily complicate their future relationships with current relationships or
2:25
Speaker 1: to complicate a current relationship with Just a bad relationship decision.
2:29
Speaker 1: And I'll tell you who else I'm excited about to
2:31
Speaker 1: be a part of this series are those of you
2:32
Speaker 1: that are dating and you're kind of serial daters. In fact,
2:35
Speaker 1: you don't even like the word date. For you, if
2:38
Speaker 1: a date doesn't end with sex, you don't even, you
2:40
Speaker 1: just chalk it up to a loss. You're just in
2:41
Speaker 1: that place where you're like, you know, One day, someday,
2:44
Speaker 1: I'm gonna settle down, but that's one day, someday, it's
2:46
Speaker 1: not this day. In fact, you don't even really call
2:48
Speaker 1: it dates. That's something your parents did. It's kind of
2:50
Speaker 1: a dark ages thing, but you're in a season of life,
2:53
Speaker 1: and you're not ashamed of it. You're not bashful about it.
2:56
Speaker 1: This is just where you are, where it's kind of
2:58
Speaker 1: a use them and lose them, kind of rotate through,
3:00
Speaker 1: and you're not always honest, and you don't always follow through,
3:03
Speaker 1: and yeah, yeah, I'll call you. I'll text you, and
3:05
Speaker 1: you never do, and hey, is it okay? Yeah, you
3:08
Speaker 1: go ahead, but then you're just in that world where
3:10
Speaker 1: you're just kind of playing the game, and that's your business,
3:14
Speaker 1: because it's your life, but I just gotta tell you,
3:16
Speaker 1: and you may not care, but that's heartbreaking to me, too,
3:19
Speaker 1: and the reason it's heartbreaking to me is, and you
3:22
Speaker 1: don't have to believe this, is you're hurting you, and
3:26
Speaker 1: you're hurting somebody else, and here's what I know about you,
3:28
Speaker 1: even though we've never met. You don't wanna hurt yourself.
3:32
Speaker 1: And you don't wanna hurt other people. In fact, if
3:34
Speaker 1: I were to confront you, you would say, no, no, no, no,
3:35
Speaker 1: it's consensual. I'm not hurting anybody. But you know there's
3:38
Speaker 1: such thing as consensual hurt, like we're gonna both agree
3:41
Speaker 1: to hurt each other. I mean, it's consensual, but if
3:43
Speaker 1: it's consensual and it still hurts a person, come on,
3:45
Speaker 1: it just still hurts a person. And you don't wanna
3:49
Speaker 1: do that. And here's the other thing that concerns me
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Speaker 1: about you, if that's the season of life you're in.
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Speaker 1: I don't want you to be, and I made this up,
3:55
Speaker 1: so I don't know if this is like a real thing.
3:57
Speaker 1: I don't want you to be a liar for life.
4:01
Speaker 1: I don't want you to be a liar for life
4:02
Speaker 1: when it comes time to tell your story. Because what
4:05
Speaker 1: you're doing right now morally and what you're doing right
4:07
Speaker 1: now relationally, these are chapters of your story. And they
4:11
Speaker 1: are permanent parts of your story. And one day, believe
4:14
Speaker 1: it or not, somebody's gonna wanna hear your story and
4:16
Speaker 1: you're gonna wanna hear somebody else's story. And depending on
4:19
Speaker 1: what you do now, you're gonna be tempted to lie
4:21
Speaker 1: about parts of your story. And you're gonna be a
4:24
Speaker 1: liar for life because you're gonna have a secret or
4:26
Speaker 1: you're gonna have a series of secrets or a season
4:27
Speaker 1: of life you don't wanna talk about. And when it
4:29
Speaker 1: gets to that season, you're gonna kinda smooth over it
4:32
Speaker 1: a little bit. And I've talked to too many women, guys.
4:36
Speaker 1: who married a guy and he told about half the story.
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Speaker 1: And a year later, she found out the whole story.
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Speaker 1: Or 15 years later, she found out the rest of
4:42
Speaker 1: the story. And she's broken and she's heartbroken because she
4:46
Speaker 1: didn't get a chance to choose you with your whole
4:47
Speaker 1: story because you lied about your story. And the reason
4:50
Speaker 1: you lied about your story, just to use an old-fashioned word,
4:52
Speaker 1: is you were ashamed. of your story. You were embarrassed
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Speaker 1: by your story. And here's the thing, I'm not getting
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Speaker 1: on you. I don't want you to write an embarrassing story.
5:02
Speaker 1: I don't want you to write a story you're embarrassed about.
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Speaker 1: I want you to write a good story. I want
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Speaker 1: you to be in Walmart one day with your wife
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Speaker 1: and you see that guy you used to date, ladies,
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Speaker 1: and you don't say, hey, let's check out the toy aisle.
5:13
Speaker 1: We don't even have any kids, I know, but I
5:15
Speaker 1: think we should check out the toy aisle for just
5:17
Speaker 1: a moment, you know? I want you to say, hey,
5:19
Speaker 1: I want you to, and hey, this is my husband.
5:20
Speaker 1: And then when you walk off, you say, yeah, I
5:22
Speaker 1: used to date him in college. He was a great guy. Yeah,
5:25
Speaker 1: we dated a little bit in high school. She was
5:27
Speaker 1: just a fantastic person. It didn't work out, but she
5:30
Speaker 1: was just great. That's a good story. I want you
5:34
Speaker 1: to write a good story, and let me tell you
5:35
Speaker 1: another good story. Another good story is this. Hey, when
5:37
Speaker 1: I was in my 20s, I fooled around, I played around,
5:39
Speaker 1: but on this particular date, in this particular year, when
5:42
Speaker 1: I was this particular age, I decided to move in
5:45
Speaker 1: a different direction, and since that time, I've lived differently.
5:48
Speaker 1: I've lived in a different direction. Yeah, when I was 45,
5:51
Speaker 1: I went through a terrible divorce. And after the divorce,
5:53
Speaker 1: I went a little bit crazy, me and the girls.
5:55
Speaker 1: I mean, we just went kind of crazy, me and
5:57
Speaker 1: my girlfriends. But then you know what? I said, wait
5:59
Speaker 1: a minute, that's not the story I want to tell.
6:01
Speaker 1: And on this particular day, at this particular time, I
6:03
Speaker 1: changed the direction of my life. I began to live
6:06
Speaker 1: and decide in a different direction. That's a better story
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Speaker 1: to tell. And you're writing the story of your life.
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Speaker 1: And it's going with you. And I don't want you
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Speaker 1: to be a liar for life because of decisions you
6:16
Speaker 1: make now. Because that breaks somebody's heart. And I don't
6:22
Speaker 1: want you to be somebody else's regret, right? When they
6:25
Speaker 1: tell their story, when your name comes up, I want
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Speaker 1: them to say good things about you, don't you? And
6:30
Speaker 1: let's face it, when your name comes up, they're gonna
6:33
Speaker 1: say something about you. You know they will because you
6:36
Speaker 1: say something about the people in your past and you're
6:38
Speaker 1: deciding what they're going to say. I don't want you
6:40
Speaker 1: to be somebody's regret. I want you to be somebody's,
6:43
Speaker 1: oh yeah, I'm sorry it didn't work out, but he
6:45
Speaker 1: was such a great guy. She was so great and
6:47
Speaker 1: her family and she was, isn't that what you want
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Speaker 1: said about you? And guys, I don't want you to
6:55
Speaker 1: be a hypocrite. And here's what I mean by that.
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Speaker 1: If someone did unto your sister as you do unto
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Speaker 1: the girls you date, you may want to do something
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Speaker 1: unto them. If someone did unto your niece or your
7:18
Speaker 1: single mom as you do unto the girls you date,
7:22
Speaker 1: you may want to do something unto them. I don't
7:25
Speaker 1: want you to be a hypocrite. I don't want you
7:27
Speaker 1: to expect one thing for the people you love and
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Speaker 1: treat women different than you would want a man to
7:31
Speaker 1: treat the women that you love. I just don't want
7:32
Speaker 1: you to be a hypocrite. Here's what I know about you.
7:34
Speaker 1: You don't like hypocrites. It's one of the reasons you
7:36
Speaker 1: don't go to church. The church is full of hypocrites.
7:38
Speaker 1: So maybe you're right. Don't join us, okay? Right? I mean,
7:43
Speaker 1: don't let there be duplicity. Don't live a double life.
7:46
Speaker 1: Don't live with a double standard because ultimately that hurts
7:48
Speaker 1: you and that hurts other people. And that just kind
7:50
Speaker 1: of breaks my heart because it sets you up for
7:52
Speaker 1: trouble that you don't need in life. the future. And ladies,
7:58
Speaker 1: and I don't like to really talk to ladies. I've
7:59
Speaker 1: never been one, okay? So I realize as soon as
8:03
Speaker 1: I move in this direction, I step out on very
8:05
Speaker 1: thin ice. So I'll just kind of put out there
8:07
Speaker 1: and head backstage. But ladies, I don't want you to
8:12
Speaker 1: be treated like a commodity. Or let me say it
8:15
Speaker 1: the harsher way. I don't want you to allow yourself
8:19
Speaker 1: to be treated like a commodity. And many times... it's
8:24
Speaker 1: your decision. And you know what a commodity is? A
8:26
Speaker 1: commodity is something that's bought and sold and traded and
8:29
Speaker 1: sometimes eventually just discarded. And maybe depending on your life
8:35
Speaker 1: and culture and the way you've managed your relationships, maybe
8:38
Speaker 1: you started to feel a little bit like a commodity.
8:42
Speaker 1: I don't want you to feel that way. I want
8:45
Speaker 1: you to feel like someone who has extraordinary value and
8:48
Speaker 1: extraordinary worth, not just based on what God says about you,
8:51
Speaker 1: but based on the way that men treat you And men,
8:54
Speaker 1: I want you, this is kind of an old-fashioned word too,
8:57
Speaker 1: I want you to step up. I want you to
8:59
Speaker 1: be gentlemen. See, gentlemen, gentlemen is powerful. Self-control is powerful.
9:11
Speaker 1: Deferring to the wishes of another person is powerful. Kindness
9:15
Speaker 1: is powerful. Grace and mercy is powerful. And ladies, don't
9:20
Speaker 1: you wish there were more gentlemen And ladies, I wish
9:25
Speaker 1: you would do whatever you have to do, whatever's in
9:28
Speaker 1: your control to decide. I am no longer going to
9:31
Speaker 1: allow myself to be mistreated because that just hurts you.
9:36
Speaker 1: If you get accustomed to being mistreated, eventually you begin
9:38
Speaker 1: to define yourself that way. And I realize that these
9:41
Speaker 1: values clash and I realize that in our culture, it's
9:43
Speaker 1: very difficult to think that it'll ever be different than
9:45
Speaker 1: it currently is. But this series is about helping you
9:49
Speaker 1: begin to think differently about yourself and about your future. Now,
9:53
Speaker 1: there are two myths that kind of drive all this
9:56
Speaker 1: confusion relationally, especially when it comes to how we manage
9:59
Speaker 1: our sexual life. and how we do dating and relationships
10:02
Speaker 1: and even within the context of marriage. And like most myths,
10:06
Speaker 1: once you surface a myth and look at it, you realize, well,
10:09
Speaker 1: But these two myths actually kind of sit in the
10:12
Speaker 1: undercurrent of our thinking and our assumptions about relationships. In fact,
10:16
Speaker 1: they are really unexplored assumptions. And in any area of life, financially, business,
10:20
Speaker 1: whatever you might do, whenever there's an unexplored assumption, it's
10:26
Speaker 1: a very dangerous thing because an unexplored assumption will inform
10:29
Speaker 1: your decisions, but you don't know it's informing your decisions
10:32
Speaker 1: and you make bad decisions. And these two relational myths
10:36
Speaker 1: inform so many of the decisions in our culture. And honestly,
10:40
Speaker 1: everything in our culture fuels these myths. But as soon
10:43
Speaker 1: as I state them, you're going to go, oh, yeah,
10:45
Speaker 1: that's ridiculous. That's not true. But here's my challenge to
10:47
Speaker 1: you today as we start this series. These two myths,
10:51
Speaker 1: these two myths for many of us actually drive our
10:53
Speaker 1: relationship decisions. The first one is this. You may have
10:56
Speaker 1: heard me talk about it before. I just call it
10:58
Speaker 1: the right person myth. The right person myth is not
11:01
Speaker 1: that there's not a right person for you. The right
11:04
Speaker 1: person myth is this, that once you meet the right person,
11:08
Speaker 1: everything will be all right. And all the married people
11:12
Speaker 1: grumble and go, yeah, that ain't true, that ain't true.
11:15
Speaker 1: Because I met him, it's not true. It's not, you're right, right.
11:19
Speaker 1: The myth is that once you meet the right person,
11:22
Speaker 1: everything's just gonna be all right regardless of what you
11:25
Speaker 1: do between now and then. The myth is this, I
11:28
Speaker 1: can play, I can play around, I can do whatever
11:30
Speaker 1: I want, I can treat guys the way I want,
11:32
Speaker 1: girls the way I want, I can just do whatever
11:33
Speaker 1: I want. But when I meet the right person, everything's
11:37
Speaker 1: gonna change. The past disappears. So you think your problem
11:41
Speaker 1: is you just haven't met them yet. or you met
11:44
Speaker 1: them and moved in with them, or you met them
11:47
Speaker 1: and you married them, but now things aren't all right anymore.
11:52
Speaker 1: And you are slowly coming to the conclusion that you
11:55
Speaker 1: must have chosen the wrong right person. And now you
12:01
Speaker 1: are looking out, you are looking for who? You're looking
12:03
Speaker 1: for the next right person. And when I say it
12:07
Speaker 1: that way, it sounds ridiculous. But let's be honest. This
12:10
Speaker 1: way of thinking fuels our relationship decisions. And oftentimes it
12:15
Speaker 1: informs the direction that we take when it comes to relationships.
12:18
Speaker 1: That I'm unhappy because I'm with the wrong person. You're
12:20
Speaker 1: unhappy because you're with the wrong person. So you just
12:22
Speaker 1: need to find the right person, then everything's gonna be
12:25
Speaker 1: all right. That is right. A myth that once you
12:28
Speaker 1: find them, once you find them, everything's going to be.
12:33
Speaker 1: Just fine, right? In fact, not only is everything gonna
12:36
Speaker 1: be fine, here's the deeper part of the myth. The
12:38
Speaker 1: assumption is that once you find the right person, everything's
12:41
Speaker 1: gonna be fine, including you. That you think somehow you're
12:45
Speaker 1: gonna quit all those bad habits. You're not gonna be
12:46
Speaker 1: interested in porn anymore once you meet the right person,
12:49
Speaker 1: right guys? That your insecurity's just gonna go away. Your
12:52
Speaker 1: financial bad habits are just gonna go away because you're
12:54
Speaker 1: gonna find somebody with a little coin and he's gonna
12:56
Speaker 1: kind of help you manage all that. And it's just
12:58
Speaker 1: gonna get better. If I could just meet the right person,
13:01
Speaker 1: not only is everything gonna be all right I'm gonna
13:04
Speaker 1: be all right. I'm gonna be a better person. I
13:06
Speaker 1: love the line in Casey Musgraves' song, thinking we will
13:09
Speaker 1: be fixed by someone else. Thinking we'll be fixed by
13:13
Speaker 1: someone else. Oftentimes, this fuels this crazy myth. And this idea,
13:17
Speaker 1: as crazy as it is, and even on the surface,
13:19
Speaker 1: you're like, yeah, that is crazy. This idea, it infects
13:23
Speaker 1: our decisions and it fuels our fantasies. And here's what
13:27
Speaker 1: I mean by fuels our fantasies. When you think about
13:30
Speaker 1: the future, as you begin to daydream about what if,
13:33
Speaker 1: and if only, and if only I had stuck with her,
13:35
Speaker 1: and if only I had married him, and if only,
13:37
Speaker 1: and next time, if only, what fuels your fantasies is this,
13:41
Speaker 1: not becoming a better person. What fuels your fantasies is
13:45
Speaker 1: finding the right person. And it is a myth. Because,
13:51
Speaker 1: as you know, there is more, right? You're adults. There
13:54
Speaker 1: is more. There's more to a satisfying relationship than finding
13:58
Speaker 1: or even being found. We just don't hear much about this.
14:01
Speaker 1: This does not make great film. This does not make
14:04
Speaker 1: great television series. This doesn't make great reality TV. What
14:09
Speaker 1: makes great reality TV and what makes great film is
14:12
Speaker 1: people falling in love. That's what the whole movie's about.
14:14
Speaker 1: They finally find each other. You know they're supposed to
14:16
Speaker 1: be together. It takes an hour and 45 minutes for
14:18
Speaker 1: them to figure it out. And then they figure it
14:20
Speaker 1: out and they're together. And then what happens? The movie's over.
14:24
Speaker 1: We love being entertained by people falling in love. But
14:28
Speaker 1: here's what we know about falling in love because we're adults.
14:31
Speaker 1: Falling in love requires a pulse, right? Falling in love
14:37
Speaker 1: requires a pulse. If you have a pulse, you can
14:40
Speaker 1: fall in love. Staying in love requires so much more,
14:45
Speaker 1: and this series is about the so much more. But
14:47
Speaker 1: of course, we're not entertained by the so much more.
14:50
Speaker 1: It's nobody's fault, it's just kind of the way it is.
14:51
Speaker 1: The second myth I call the promise myth. There's the
14:54
Speaker 1: right person myth and the promise myth. This myth maintains
14:59
Speaker 1: that basically, when it comes to satisfying long-term relationships, that
15:04
Speaker 1: all we need to do is make a promise. That
15:07
Speaker 1: when it comes to relationships, a promise actually replaces the
15:10
Speaker 1: need for preparation. That a promise replaces the need for preparation.
15:15
Speaker 1: That you can commit promise or vow your way into
15:20
Speaker 1: a healthy, satisfying, mutually satisfying relationship. That you can vow
15:25
Speaker 1: or promise or commit your way into a successful future,
15:28
Speaker 1: which is ridiculous. And that everything that came before can
15:31
Speaker 1: be overcome with two things. A promise and a party.
15:35
Speaker 1: A promise and a party. You're gonna stand at an
15:38
Speaker 1: altar and make a promise. Then you're gonna have a
15:40
Speaker 1: big party. The past disappears. You're gonna be a brand
15:43
Speaker 1: new person, a completely different kind of person. And you
15:46
Speaker 1: can promise or commit or vow your way into the future.
15:49
Speaker 1: And your spouse, your new, your fiance can promise or
15:52
Speaker 1: commit or vow his or her way into the future
15:54
Speaker 1: as well. But promises, you know this, right? Again, you
15:57
Speaker 1: surface these myths. It's like, yeah, that can't be true.
16:00
Speaker 1: Promises are never a substitute for preparation, right? We know
16:06
Speaker 1: this in every other arena of life except relationships. We
16:10
Speaker 1: know this in academics. You can't promise yourself to a degree.
16:12
Speaker 1: You have to study. In sports, business, medicine, discovery, business preparation,
16:18
Speaker 1: preparation for a presentation. I mean, in every single arena
16:21
Speaker 1: of life, we know that in order to win, you
16:24
Speaker 1: have to prepare. I mean, no college basketball coach or
16:28
Speaker 1: no college football coach would substitute promises for practices, right?
16:33
Speaker 1: Come on into the locker room, we're just gonna promise
16:35
Speaker 1: each other we're gonna win. They wouldn't even substitute, right,
16:38
Speaker 1: they wouldn't even substitute emotional, passionate pep talks in the
16:43
Speaker 1: locker room for practice because practice is how you win games.
16:47
Speaker 1: Every coach knows you don't promise to win games, what
16:50
Speaker 1: do you do? You have to prepare to win. And
16:54
Speaker 1: this is true in your relationships. But who teaches us
16:57
Speaker 1: to prepare? Who prepares us for relationships? Nobody. Every single
17:01
Speaker 1: day we're told if you just fall in love with
17:03
Speaker 1: the right person, everything's gonna be all right. And it's
17:05
Speaker 1: a myth. In fact, rationally, you know it's not true.
17:09
Speaker 1: And the whole idea that you don't have to prepare
17:10
Speaker 1: for something to win in something, you know that's not true,
17:13
Speaker 1: which means, and this is kind of tough to say,
17:16
Speaker 1: that when it comes to relationships, commitment, commitment, is way overrated.
17:23
Speaker 1: Let me put it this way. I do doesn't mean
17:28
Speaker 1: you can. In fact, you know this because you have
17:32
Speaker 1: been to weddings, haven't you? You've been to weddings, you
17:33
Speaker 1: sat sort of toward the back and they got up
17:35
Speaker 1: there and I'll love you forever and ever. You're my sweetest.
17:38
Speaker 1: And they wrote their own vows and they got lyrics
17:40
Speaker 1: of songs in there and music's playing and you're sitting
17:43
Speaker 1: in the back going... Take luck, you know, I just,
17:47
Speaker 1: you know, good luck. What are the odds of this?
17:49
Speaker 1: I mean, you're not trying to be negative. You don't
17:51
Speaker 1: want to be negative. Here's what you know intuitively. You
17:54
Speaker 1: know they're not prepared. They're not prepared because they haven't
17:58
Speaker 1: been honest. They're not prepared because they haven't dealt with
18:01
Speaker 1: their bad habits. They're not prepared because they're immature. I mean,
18:03
Speaker 1: there's a lot of reasons, a lot of it beyond
18:05
Speaker 1: their control. You just kind of know the odds of
18:08
Speaker 1: them making it. I mean, they mean well. It was
18:09
Speaker 1: a great party. Oh my goodness, you know. And their
18:12
Speaker 1: vows were beautiful. But Come on, we're adults. You don't
18:17
Speaker 1: vow your way into a successful future relationally. You have
18:21
Speaker 1: to prepare. Listen, especially if you've never been married. Saying
18:26
Speaker 1: I do does not make you capable. Saying I do
18:30
Speaker 1: makes you accountable. Saying I do doesn't make you capable,
18:34
Speaker 1: it makes you accountable. And here's the bad news. When
18:38
Speaker 1: you're accountable but not capable, you're miserable, right? When you're accountable, uh-oh,
18:45
Speaker 1: I'm stuck in this, but uh-oh, I don't know what
18:48
Speaker 1: to do with this, and I don't know how to
18:49
Speaker 1: fix it, and I don't know how to make it better.
18:51
Speaker 1: You're just miserable. So here's a brilliant statement. I mean,
18:55
Speaker 1: it's amazing, my intellect. If you aren't preparing, you won't
19:03
Speaker 1: be prepared. I probably need to explain that. I mean,
19:07
Speaker 1: it's pretty deep. Let me go slow, right? I mean, again,
19:11
Speaker 1: it's just kind of common sense, but I'm telling you,
19:14
Speaker 1: you know this. When it comes to relationships, common sense
19:16
Speaker 1: is not common. We just ignore all the rules that
19:20
Speaker 1: we employ in every other arena of life. I want
19:23
Speaker 1: you to be prepared. And for those of you that
19:25
Speaker 1: are in a relationship or you're married, I want you
19:27
Speaker 1: to start preparing because you're in. And yes, you love her.
19:30
Speaker 1: And yes, you love him. And you have kids together.
19:32
Speaker 1: And you're wondering, can we fix this? Of course you can.
19:36
Speaker 1: But you don't fix it by just trying to do
19:38
Speaker 1: what you did in the beginning and try to keep
19:40
Speaker 1: falling back in love with each other. There's a way forward.
19:42
Speaker 1: And that's why we're doing this series. Now, This is
19:48
Speaker 1: where the message of Jesus just comes alive. This is, honestly,
19:54
Speaker 1: this is where following Jesus makes all the difference right
19:58
Speaker 1: now in this world, in this life, in your current relationship.
20:02
Speaker 1: You've heard me say so many times, following Jesus will
20:04
Speaker 1: make your life better. Following Jesus will make you better
20:07
Speaker 1: at life. Well, following Jesus will make your life better
20:10
Speaker 1: and following Jesus will make you better at relationships. It'll
20:14
Speaker 1: make you a better boyfriend, a better girlfriend, a better husband,
20:16
Speaker 1: a better wife, a better parent, a better fiance, a
20:19
Speaker 1: better future husband, a better future wife. That following Jesus
20:22
Speaker 1: will make you better at life. In fact, following Jesus
20:26
Speaker 1: will make you better at life before you come to
20:28
Speaker 1: the conclusion as to whether or not you believe Jesus
20:30
Speaker 1: is the son of God. Because Jesus left us with
20:33
Speaker 1: one relational principle that is so extraordinarily powerful, so defining.
20:38
Speaker 1: It's kind of the driving force behind everything else that
20:40
Speaker 1: we're going to say throughout this series. Because whereas the
20:44
Speaker 1: teachings of Jesus won't help you find the right person,
20:47
Speaker 1: primarily because people had arranged marriages back when Jesus came along.
20:50
Speaker 1: And by the time they were 13, it was all
20:52
Speaker 1: said and done. It was all buttoned up and we
20:54
Speaker 1: didn't have much choice. But following Jesus, this is the
20:57
Speaker 1: game changer. Following Jesus will help you become the person.
21:04
Speaker 1: It's why every once in a while, maybe you've had
21:07
Speaker 1: this experience, you meet someone from your past. You knew
21:10
Speaker 1: them in high school, you knew them in college, you
21:11
Speaker 1: knew them in graduate school, you knew them at a
21:13
Speaker 1: previous job maybe. And years go by and you run
21:16
Speaker 1: back into them and they're different and they're good different.
21:18
Speaker 1: I mean, they're kind of cleaned up and buttoned up
21:20
Speaker 1: and their eyes are clear and there's happiness on their face.
21:24
Speaker 1: They seem to have their life together. And you start
21:26
Speaker 1: asking questions and you discover they became a Jesus follower
21:29
Speaker 1: and they're different. They didn't meet somebody new. They became
21:36
Speaker 1: somebody new. It's why sometimes when you meet people from
21:41
Speaker 1: the past, it's like you became a different person. Following
21:45
Speaker 1: Jesus will help you become the kind of person that
21:49
Speaker 1: the person you're looking for is looking for. Following Jesus
21:54
Speaker 1: will help you become the kind of person that the
21:57
Speaker 1: person who was hoping for was hoping for. Following Jesus
22:03
Speaker 1: will help you become a Years ago, when I first
22:06
Speaker 1: began putting together this material, the first time I presented
22:08
Speaker 1: it to many of you, about 10 years ago, it's
22:11
Speaker 1: been almost 10 years, it's hard to believe, I had
22:14
Speaker 1: some conversations with some 20-year-olds in our organization, and a
22:20
Speaker 1: young lady shared a story. She said, I was at home,
22:22
Speaker 1: my mom was ironing, I was sitting on the bed,
22:24
Speaker 1: and I was going on and on and on and
22:25
Speaker 1: on and on about this guy I had met at
22:27
Speaker 1: this party, and he was incredible in his job, and
22:30
Speaker 1: he was good-looking, and she said, And she said, I
22:33
Speaker 1: was telling her that he was a Christian and that
22:35
Speaker 1: he was like, Mom, Mom, I mean, he's like your
22:37
Speaker 1: kind of Christian, Mom. Like he's the real deal Christian.
22:39
Speaker 1: Like he doesn't just talk it, but he was talking
22:41
Speaker 1: about Jesus at this party and I could tell his
22:42
Speaker 1: faith is real. And she was going on and on
22:44
Speaker 1: about this guy. He was just incredible. And she said
22:47
Speaker 1: her mom stopped ironing and set the iron on the
22:49
Speaker 1: ironing board and looked at her. And she said, Honey,
22:53
Speaker 1: the problem is a guy like that is not looking
22:59
Speaker 1: for a girl like you. And she said, I literally
23:04
Speaker 1: fell to the floor and began to weep. This was
23:07
Speaker 1: years ago. And that was the defining turning moment in
23:11
Speaker 1: her life when she realized that's right. My whole approach
23:14
Speaker 1: to relationships has been I'm going to find someone. It
23:19
Speaker 1: never crossed my mind I needed to become someone. My
23:23
Speaker 1: whole approach, every message I've gotten from culture is if
23:26
Speaker 1: I can find the right person, everything will be all right.
23:30
Speaker 1: It never dawned on me that I need to become
23:33
Speaker 1: the kind of person that the person I'm dreaming of,
23:37
Speaker 1: hoping for, is actually looking for. Which brings us to
23:40
Speaker 1: this question for all of us, married, single, students, graduates,
23:44
Speaker 1: whatever season of life you're in. Are you the person?
23:48
Speaker 1: Are you the person the person you're looking for is
23:51
Speaker 1: looking for? Are you just looking or are you becoming?
23:54
Speaker 1: And Jesus says, follow me, you'll become. If you're married,
23:57
Speaker 1: here's your version. Are you still the person? Are you
24:01
Speaker 1: still the person they were looking for? Are you still
24:04
Speaker 1: the person they were hoping for? Or have you allowed
24:06
Speaker 1: life and kids and money and stuff and busyness and
24:11
Speaker 1: business to get in the way of what you were
24:14
Speaker 1: becoming of the person he or she believed she was
24:17
Speaker 1: entering a relationship with? So, Jesus steps into the pages
24:25
Speaker 1: of history. We don't have time, but we can't even
24:27
Speaker 1: begin to imagine the culture he stepped into. Prostitution was
24:31
Speaker 1: a way of life. Prostitution was birth control for the
24:33
Speaker 1: Romans and the Greeks because they didn't want to keep
24:35
Speaker 1: adding kids to their family and dividing the money. I mean,
24:38
Speaker 1: the world that they stepped into is unimaginable. And in
24:40
Speaker 1: spite of that, Jesus introduces a brand new relational paradigm,
24:45
Speaker 1: a brand new relational paradigm that was a game changer
24:48
Speaker 1: beginning in the first century and eventually got the attention
24:51
Speaker 1: of the Roman world and became central in the life
24:53
Speaker 1: of Rome. And since then has circled the globe. A
24:57
Speaker 1: relational paradigm that is simple, it's compelling, it's demanding, of
25:01
Speaker 1: course it is. And it's also rewarding. And here's the
25:04
Speaker 1: coolest thing if you're not a Christian person. When understood correctly,
25:08
Speaker 1: and unfortunately the church has made this more complicated than
25:12
Speaker 1: it needs to be, but when understood correctly, Jesus' relational
25:16
Speaker 1: paradigm is so powerful that you're going to want the
25:20
Speaker 1: message of Jesus to be true even before you believe
25:23
Speaker 1: it's true because it's almost too good to be true.
25:27
Speaker 1: In fact, it is too good to be true unless
25:29
Speaker 1: Jesus is who Jesus claimed he was. And there's no
25:32
Speaker 1: reason for us to believe he was who he claimed
25:34
Speaker 1: he was except for one simple event. his resurrection that
25:38
Speaker 1: changed everything and put everything and reframed everything that he taught.
25:42
Speaker 1: So toward the end of his ministry, Jesus is gathered
25:44
Speaker 1: with his guys and he's gonna kind of give them
25:46
Speaker 1: this sort of, this is part of that last minute,
25:48
Speaker 1: you know, if you forget everything else, remember this pep talk.
25:51
Speaker 1: And these words I'm about to read to you that
25:53
Speaker 1: Jesus said, they didn't even understand what he was talking about.
25:55
Speaker 1: They could not understand this until after the resurrection. And
25:58
Speaker 1: as complex as it seems to us because we live
26:01
Speaker 1: in a different world, his words were so clear and
26:04
Speaker 1: they're so specific. And at the end of this passage,
26:07
Speaker 1: as I walk you through it, he gives us kind
26:09
Speaker 1: of our marching orders. He gives us kind of the
26:11
Speaker 1: north star by which we should guide all of our relationships.
26:14
Speaker 1: And then we're gonna come back next week and kind
26:16
Speaker 1: of tease it out and look at the details. Here's
26:18
Speaker 1: what he said. And he begins with an illustration that
26:20
Speaker 1: they were totally dialed into that we're immediately like, huh?
26:24
Speaker 1: Here's what he said. He said, I... am the true vine.
26:28
Speaker 1: I'm like a vine. And my father, God, is the gardener.
26:32
Speaker 1: And whenever Jesus told a parable, there's a God part,
26:34
Speaker 1: there's a Jesus part, and there's an us part. He says, okay, guys,
26:36
Speaker 1: here's how I want you to think about your relationship
26:38
Speaker 1: with me. I'm like a vine. Now, they understood grape vines.
26:42
Speaker 1: They totally got it. I'm the vine, and my heavenly
26:44
Speaker 1: father is the gardener, the one that's tending the vine. He, God,
26:48
Speaker 1: cuts off every branch that's plugged into me, the vine,
26:52
Speaker 1: that doesn't bear any fruit. Why? Because the goal of
26:55
Speaker 1: Jesus and the goal of this whole conversation is to
26:57
Speaker 1: explain how people get connected to Jesus and Jesus bears
27:01
Speaker 1: fruit through them. While, he says, while every branch that
27:06
Speaker 1: does bear fruit, he prunes it. Why? So there will
27:09
Speaker 1: be more fruit. So the goal, clearly, is some kind
27:11
Speaker 1: of fruit bearing to which we say, what's the fruit?
27:13
Speaker 1: And he's gonna tell us in just a minute. By
27:16
Speaker 1: the way... your life is bearing fruit too. Everybody's life
27:21
Speaker 1: bears fruit. It's your reputation. It's the outcome of your decisions.
27:26
Speaker 1: It's that story that you like to tell and the
27:28
Speaker 1: story that you don't like to tell. So the idea
27:30
Speaker 1: of our lives having a wake of broken relationships or
27:33
Speaker 1: healthy relationships or debt or financial security, we all have
27:36
Speaker 1: a wake. We've all borne fruit in our life. And
27:40
Speaker 1: Jesus is talking about something that's familiar yet unfamiliar because
27:43
Speaker 1: he's saying, I want you to allow me to bear
27:46
Speaker 1: fruit through you. You. So he says, here's what you
27:49
Speaker 1: got to do. And this is all relationship language. Remain
27:53
Speaker 1: in me and I also remain in you. In other words,
27:56
Speaker 1: this is just his way of saying, stay close to me,
27:59
Speaker 1: stay connected to me, follow me. And then he tells
28:02
Speaker 1: us why. He says, you need to stay close to
28:03
Speaker 1: me and follow me because no branch can bear fruit
28:07
Speaker 1: by itself. It's gotta remain in the vine. Again, he's
28:09
Speaker 1: talking about something so familiar. If you take the branch
28:11
Speaker 1: off the vine, the branch dies, it doesn't bear any fruit.
28:14
Speaker 1: He says, if you're gonna bear the fruit I want
28:15
Speaker 1: you to bear, you've gotta stay plugged into me. And
28:19
Speaker 1: now the application. He would say to John and to
28:24
Speaker 1: Matthew and to Andrew sitting there. To me, that we
28:32
Speaker 1: can't bear fruit the way that Jesus wants us to
28:35
Speaker 1: bear fruit unless we lean into him or to use
28:37
Speaker 1: another word Jesus used, continue to follow him. And then
28:40
Speaker 1: he says to them what they've already figured out. By
28:42
Speaker 1: the way, guys, he goes slow for him. He doesn't
28:44
Speaker 1: want him to miss it. I am divine. You've already
28:46
Speaker 1: said that. And you guys are these branches I'm talking about.
28:50
Speaker 1: And if you remain plugged into me and I in you,
28:54
Speaker 1: this is so cool. I want to make you a promise.
28:56
Speaker 1: He says, you're going to bear much fruit. You're not
29:00
Speaker 1: going to bear much fruit because you're going to learn
29:01
Speaker 1: how to be a fruit bearer. You're going to bear
29:03
Speaker 1: much fruit because you're plugged into and following me. It's
29:06
Speaker 1: why when you met that guy or that girl from
29:08
Speaker 1: your past, they were so different. And when you ask them,
29:10
Speaker 1: you know, what's going on, they didn't talk about, well,
29:13
Speaker 1: I got up every morning, I made a list of
29:14
Speaker 1: five things I'm going to become, and by golly, I
29:16
Speaker 1: became them. They just make it simple. They say, well,
29:20
Speaker 1: they don't even know how to explain it to you sometimes.
29:21
Speaker 1: It's just, well, You know, I started going to church
29:24
Speaker 1: and then started reading my Bible and basically discovered they
29:26
Speaker 1: became a Jesus follower and they're just different and they're
29:29
Speaker 1: not even sure they can explain it. This is the
29:32
Speaker 1: promise of Jesus. Plug into me, stay close to me,
29:36
Speaker 1: follow me, and one day you'll realize you have believed
29:40
Speaker 1: something new. You've become something different. People will say you've
29:44
Speaker 1: become something better. And then, He defines what he means
29:51
Speaker 1: by fruit, and this is so powerful. He says, just
29:55
Speaker 1: as the Father, this is so amazing that he makes
29:57
Speaker 1: this comparison, just as the Father has loved me, so
30:02
Speaker 1: I have loved you. It's like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay,
30:05
Speaker 1: you changed the subject. Okay, we're talking about gardens and
30:08
Speaker 1: fruit and vines. Okay, now we're talking about love. He's like,
30:10
Speaker 1: just hang with me. I'm getting there. Just as the
30:13
Speaker 1: Father has loved me, just as the Father has demonstrated
30:16
Speaker 1: his love through me, I have demonstrated the Father's love
30:19
Speaker 1: through you. Now, here's what I want you to do.
30:21
Speaker 1: I want you to remain in my love. The same
30:24
Speaker 1: word he used to talk about the branch staying connected
30:28
Speaker 1: to the vine. So it's like, wait, so God's the gardener.
30:31
Speaker 1: You're the vine, I'm the branch, I'm to stay connected
30:33
Speaker 1: to you. And when I think about staying connected to you,
30:35
Speaker 1: I'm supposed to stay connected to your love, exactly. And
30:40
Speaker 1: then here's the surprise. If you keep my commands, you
30:45
Speaker 1: will remain in my love. To which we say, I
30:47
Speaker 1: knew it was a bait and switch. This is just
30:49
Speaker 1: all about commands and rules. I knew it. It was
30:51
Speaker 1: so relational. It was so warm and fuzzy. And something's
30:54
Speaker 1: gonna happen in me. And one day my wife's gonna go,
30:57
Speaker 1: you're the man of my dreams. After all, I'm just
30:59
Speaker 1: gonna become. And then you do what every church person does.
31:03
Speaker 1: Now we're gonna talk about the 10 commandments or some
31:05
Speaker 1: new commands. And I'm sure the guys sitting there with
31:07
Speaker 1: Jesus are like, great. I thought we were headed down
31:09
Speaker 1: a new direction, but you're saying if you keep my commandments,
31:12
Speaker 1: you will stay, you'll remain in my love. To which
31:16
Speaker 1: they're thinking, okay, you're Jesus. We're with you. So what
31:19
Speaker 1: are the commands? Somebody write these down. I bet there's
31:21
Speaker 1: a bunch of them. And here's the shocker. Here's why
31:26
Speaker 1: you should follow Jesus. Here's why you should considering follow Jesus,
31:29
Speaker 1: even if you're not sure who Jesus is. Jesus smiles,
31:33
Speaker 1: I think. And he says, okay, I'll tell you. John,
31:36
Speaker 1: write this down. My command is this. Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait.
31:42
Speaker 1: Vine and branch, we're plugging in. You know, it's all
31:45
Speaker 1: about back and forth, and somehow it's all about the
31:47
Speaker 1: Father's love. And now we're talking about commands, and now
31:49
Speaker 1: you're saying there's just one command. Right. Just one command.
31:54
Speaker 1: All right, what's your command? Love each other. We don't
32:02
Speaker 1: even need to write that one down. We've heard that
32:04
Speaker 1: so many times. You know, that's not new to what
32:08
Speaker 1: Jesus would say. Hang on, I'm not through. Because this
32:11
Speaker 1: isn't just about love the one you're with. This isn't
32:13
Speaker 1: just about love. This isn't about, oh, if we just
32:16
Speaker 1: all get along and love each other. No, Jesus said, remember,
32:18
Speaker 1: this is vine and branch. This is a different kind
32:20
Speaker 1: of love. This is a very specific kind of love.
32:22
Speaker 1: I don't want you to just be more loving. I
32:25
Speaker 1: want you to love specifically. I want you to have
32:27
Speaker 1: a focused love. Here's the kind of love I want
32:29
Speaker 1: you to have. I want you to love each other
32:31
Speaker 1: as I, because this is about a relationship with me.
32:36
Speaker 1: I want the love that you have seen demonstrated towards you.
32:38
Speaker 1: I want that same brand. I want that same type.
32:42
Speaker 1: I want that same combination, that same formula of love
32:45
Speaker 1: to flow through you. I want you to love as
32:48
Speaker 1: I have loved you. I'm telling you, sitting in the
32:53
Speaker 1: room that night, they had some idea of what he
32:55
Speaker 1: was talking about. But a few days later, Jesus would
33:01
Speaker 1: put on a demonstration of love, take their breath away
33:06
Speaker 1: because it would take his breath away. And on the
33:09
Speaker 1: other side of the resurrection, it's like, This isn't some
33:14
Speaker 1: kind of permissive figuring it out on your own kind
33:16
Speaker 1: of love. This is the kind of love where you
33:19
Speaker 1: put the other person first. This is the kind of
33:22
Speaker 1: love where you lay down your life for a friend.
33:24
Speaker 1: This is the kind of love where you defer to
33:26
Speaker 1: the wishes and the thoughts of the other person. This
33:28
Speaker 1: is the kind of love where you forgive regardless of
33:31
Speaker 1: what's been done and regardless of the offense. This is
33:34
Speaker 1: the kind of love that takes everything I have going
33:36
Speaker 1: for me and makes it available to me. This is
33:40
Speaker 1: the kind of love where I do unto you as
33:42
Speaker 1: my Father through Christ has done unto me. Oh. This
33:49
Speaker 1: is what Jesus means by abiding in him. It's not complicated.
33:54
Speaker 1: It's not super intangible, super spiritual. It is about learning
33:58
Speaker 1: how and allowing the love that God has for you
34:00
Speaker 1: to flow to others, specifically to those with whom you
34:04
Speaker 1: have a relationship. St. Augustine, by the way, St. Augustine
34:07
Speaker 1: is in Florida. St. Augustine is in heaven. Just want
34:10
Speaker 1: to clear that up, okay? St. Augustine makes this comment
34:14
Speaker 1: based on this unique, focused, Christ-like kind of love. He
34:18
Speaker 1: says this, he wrote this. He said,' Love, and then
34:21
Speaker 1: basically do whatever you want.' love and do as thou wilt.
34:26
Speaker 1: Once you understand that the framework for all of your relationships,
34:30
Speaker 1: the framework and the guiding force and the guiding principle,
34:32
Speaker 1: the North Star of your behavior toward the people around you,
34:35
Speaker 1: the people that you're raising, the people that you live with,
34:37
Speaker 1: the people that you're married to, as long as you
34:39
Speaker 1: know the North Star is my behavior will be monitored
34:43
Speaker 1: through and looked at through the filter and the grid
34:46
Speaker 1: of God's love for me as demonstrated in Christ. He says,
34:49
Speaker 1: once you have that down, you'll figure everything out. that
34:53
Speaker 1: this is how you become. This is how you become
34:57
Speaker 1: a person worth looking for. This is how you shift
35:00
Speaker 1: gears from just finding, finding, finding, and if you're married, controlling, controlling, controlling,
35:06
Speaker 1: and conforming, conforming, conforming, and pressuring, and pressuring, and pressuring,
35:10
Speaker 1: and if I can just ever get her to act
35:12
Speaker 1: the way I want her to act, I'll be happy.
35:14
Speaker 1: And if I could ever get him to stop and
35:16
Speaker 1: to start and to begin and to stop, if I
35:18
Speaker 1: could just get him shaped into the image of what
35:21
Speaker 1: I want, then I would be happy. And Jesus says,
35:23
Speaker 1: that's never gonna work. I have an idea. Just follow
35:29
Speaker 1: me and learn from me. And another place he says,
35:33
Speaker 1: because I'm gentle and I'm humble in heart and you
35:37
Speaker 1: will find rest for your souls and you will find
35:39
Speaker 1: peace in your relationships because I want to teach you
35:43
Speaker 1: how to love as I've loved. And I'm telling you,
35:46
Speaker 1: when two people get on board with this, when two
35:49
Speaker 1: people embrace this approach to relationships, It's amazing what happens.
35:54
Speaker 1: This is how you become a person worth finding, but
35:56
Speaker 1: this is how you become a person worth staying for.
35:59
Speaker 1: This is, as we're gonna see, this is how you
36:02
Speaker 1: prepare to commit. This is how you prepare to stay committed.
36:09
Speaker 1: This is how you make whatever relationship you're in better
36:13
Speaker 1: because both people are becoming and they're becoming in the
36:17
Speaker 1: same direction. And as we'll discover next time, there's fine print.
36:25
Speaker 1: Here's the thing that may blow your mind if you're
36:28
Speaker 1: not a Christian or you're new to this whole thing.
36:30
Speaker 1: That the kind of person that Jesus wants to lead
36:34
Speaker 1: you to become, if you become one of his followers,
36:37
Speaker 1: is actually the kind of person we're all ultimately looking
36:39
Speaker 1: for and all ultimately want to be or to become.
36:43
Speaker 1: That what you're gonna discover when you open the pages
36:45
Speaker 1: of the New Testament and as we look at what
36:46
Speaker 1: Jesus says specifically, you're gonna discover, oh, well, That's sort
36:51
Speaker 1: of the kind of person I wanted to be anyway. Oh,
36:54
Speaker 1: well that, yeah, I would love to meet a person
36:57
Speaker 1: who loved me like God through Christ loved him or her.
37:00
Speaker 1: And yeah, I would love to think, I mean, it
37:02
Speaker 1: seems far off to me. I can't imagine ever getting there.
37:04
Speaker 1: But I would love to think that I'm that kind
37:09
Speaker 1: of person. Now, I get criticized for this sometimes. If
37:12
Speaker 1: what you've heard me say is it's just all about love,
37:15
Speaker 1: that's not what I've said because that's not what Jesus said.
37:18
Speaker 1: And if the whole idea of just love, we're just
37:19
Speaker 1: gonna love each other, it seems so permissive, it seems
37:22
Speaker 1: so undefined, it seems like anything goes, then you don't
37:25
Speaker 1: understand God's love is exemplified through Christ. So what we're
37:29
Speaker 1: gonna do next time, this is gonna be fun. In fact,
37:31
Speaker 1: the next two weeks are gonna be extremely practical is
37:34
Speaker 1: we're gonna look at the fine print because there's always
37:36
Speaker 1: fine print, right? But here's a cool thing. This fine
37:39
Speaker 1: print will make you fine, right? It will make you
37:44
Speaker 1: worth finding and keeping, no losing and less weeping. Because
37:50
Speaker 1: when two people, this is why this is so important,
37:53
Speaker 1: when two people embrace the fine print and when two
37:57
Speaker 1: people decide they're gonna stay connected to the vine, the
38:01
Speaker 1: relationship gets better and it gets fine and it doesn't
38:05
Speaker 1: get better because they accidentally or magically found the right person.
38:08
Speaker 1: It gets better because they are becoming a better person
38:12
Speaker 1: Because following Jesus will make your life better. And I promise,
38:16
Speaker 1: following Jesus will make you better at life. So don't
38:20
Speaker 1: miss next week when we look at the fine print.