Latest / Reality with The King / Marsau’s UNHAPPY Ending! | LAMH Recap| with Claudia, Dustin, Blue and Dominique

Transcript

Marsau’s UNHAPPY Ending! | LAMH Recap| with Claudia, Dustin, Blue and Dominique · Reality with The King

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Reality with the King is hosted by me, Carlos King.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: I'm an executive producer who have produced some of your
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: favorite shows from the Real Housewives of Atlanta, New Jersey,
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: and my own creation, the Love and Marriage franchise and
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: Bell Collectives. Every episode, we recap reality television from the
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Real Housewives franchise to The Bachelor or Selling Sunset, in
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: addition to celebrity guests, whether in the unscripted space or
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: scripted as well. We have to get into this episode
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: of Love and Marriage Huntsville.
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: Raindrops. This episode caused, like every episode before it, a
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: lot of stir on threads, on Instagram, especially TikTok, and
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: of course on X. Let's begin with the first scene,
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: which is Martel and his mother, Miss Marlene, and his girlfriend,
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: Arianne Curry. So, Claudia, Dustin, and Blue. Martel decided to take... No, Dominique.
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: Oh, Blue, I'm sorry.
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: Listen, I'm so trained.
• 1:17
  Speaker 4: Listen, I have a Michelle spirit on me. I need
• 1:24
  Speaker 4: you to know that. I have a strong Michelle spirit
• 1:26
  Speaker 4: on me. Or the tenor line. It don't matter. Dominique,
• 1:32
  Speaker 4: in my defense, we have another show called Reality After
• 1:35
  Speaker 4: Dark that we do with Mandy.
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: And as Claudia and Dustin, sometimes, not all, I would just.
• 1:42
  Speaker 5: It's all right.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: Blame my tongue this time. Claudia, shut up. Anywho, Dominique, Claudia,
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: and Dustin, Martel decided to take his two favorite ladies out,
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: Arianne and Miss Marlene. In this scene, what we did see...
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: was Arianne gave Miss Marlene a gift certificate to go
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: to the spa. She talked about how one day she
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: would love to accompany her. But, you know, being a
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: nursing school, she's very busy.
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: Oh, God. How long is this nursing school? Is she
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: getting her doctorate? I mean, how long does it take
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: to become an RN? Like, seriously, eight years? Is she
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: going to be a lawyer after this? Like, God damn.
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: It's like. Oh, I'm in school.
• 2:35
  Speaker 6: I'm in school.
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: I'm in school. It's like the strippers. That's like, I'm
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: raising money to go back to school. But really, you
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: just say that to keep getting money.
• 2:42
  Speaker 5: But no, there's... Like Nelly on The Color Purple, Claudia.
• 2:45
  Speaker 5: I gotta go to school.
• 2:47
  Speaker 6: I gotta go to school.
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: How long is this program? Is she taking like half
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: a credit a semester? Like, what's happening here?
• 2:54
  Speaker 6: Oh, my God.
• 2:55
  Speaker 7: Well, she is the mother of two children. She has
• 2:58
  Speaker 7: a lot of things to handle.
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: Three, including Martel.
• 3:01
  Speaker 7: Oh, okay.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: We starting off hot. All right. So, Claudia, she's at
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: nursing school.
• 3:09
  Speaker 7: It's very challenging.
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: Oh, so am I.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: Which is what she said. What was interesting was Miss
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: Marlene did start crying and the conversation of Destiny came
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: up where they recap what happened in their scene last week.
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: You know, Martel and Arianne with Destiny and And Miss
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: Marlene feels that Destiny needs to not have a problem
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: because the only person that should have a problem is her,
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: Miss Marlene, his mother. And she's over it. And she
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: also reminded Martel that you were the person that actually
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: told me that Destiny liked you. So, Claudia, I started
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: with you. What were your thoughts on this scene between Arianne,
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: his mother, Miss Marlene, and....
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> Oh,
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: my goodness. Why are you putting me on the spot
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: like this? You know I don't have any self-control. I'm
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: like Amanda Sales. I'm diagnosing myself with Tourette's. Well, you know,
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: that's why.
• 4:17
  Speaker 7: I was thinking with Tourette's, I think.
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: I know she didn't say Tourette's. I'm just saying as
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: far as self-diagnosis.
• 4:23
  Speaker 5: Self-diagnosis. All you're missing is the poochie track suit.
• 4:27
  Speaker 8: Mm-hmm.
• 4:29
  Speaker 5: And new growth braids. Poochie track suit and new growth braids.
• 4:33
  Speaker 5: And then you can say it too. Maybe you should
• 4:36
  Speaker 5: be Amanda Sears for Halloween next year, friend.
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: So people can hate me more?
• 4:41
  Speaker 7: Very well.
• 4:41
  Speaker 5: What do you mean, Claudia?
• 4:43
  Speaker 7: They love you, baby.
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: Sometimes. Let's be clear. Listen, I know where I stand
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: on the totem pole of life here.
• 4:50
  Speaker 5: I love you. We love you.
• 4:52
  Speaker 7: Thank you.
• 4:53
  Speaker 6: Okay. What do you want to know?
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: What I think about the mama or the fake ass
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: relationship with the daughter? I mean, with the, what's her name? Poufier?
• 5:01
  Speaker 5: Arianne?
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: Arianne is so kissing ass, like wants to be accepted.
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: She's so happy that someone is like giving her a
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: little bit of love. It's so annoying. Like it's so,
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: it feels so fake. Mom is, rubs me the wrong way.
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: It gives one of those moms that we see why
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: Martel is the way he is. You know, those moms
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: that just excuse their son. They're never wrong. That's what
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: she gives me. helping to create a monster. I hate
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: her hair. I don't know. I mean, you shouldn't have
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: asked me to go first because I don't have self-control
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: or discipline.
• 5:31
  Speaker 6: And now people are going to be mad at me.
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: So anyways, it was irritating. The scene was irritating. It
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: felt like so much fakeness in the scene. I feel
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: like the mom was the type that when she's in
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: Mel's face, she's probably showing her so much love. And
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: then when she's not around, she's in the side chicks,
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: Arianne's face. Now that's her favorite. I don't trust people
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: like that. I don't like that. That makes me nervous
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: because I need people that stand on business. And I
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: think if you stand on business, you could actually give
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: your son some better advice, some better advice. And I
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: think he has never gotten good advice and that's why
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: he behaves the way he does because he's handsome and
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: probably did good in sports in high school, whatever. The
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: grades was probably struggling, but the athletic ability was there.
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: Mom was like, that's my boy. So he could do
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: no wrong. And that's how monsters are created.
• 6:21
  Speaker 4: Hi.
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 6:24
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: Marlene. Does she have more scenes coming up in the season?
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: Yes. Oh.
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: Well, she ain't going to like me.
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: I don't think she watches, but I did not like her.
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: No, someone's going to send her the clip. They're going
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: to be, are you talking about someone's mom? I don't
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: really give a fuck. She just read me the wrong way.
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: Y'all, listen.
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: Y'all have me here because, you know, I'm honest and
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: I can't hold my tongue. So that's what I feel.
• 6:49
  Speaker 5: Fight me.
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: Fight me.
• 6:50
  Speaker 4: Hmm.
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: Dustin Ross, what are your thoughts on the scene between Marlene, Ms. Marlene,
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: excuse me, Martel.
• 6:58
  Speaker 7: And Arianne?
• 7:01
  Speaker 5: My thoughts are one thing. My reaction to the scene
• 7:04
  Speaker 5: was akin to that clip of Maya Angelou, Dr. Maya Angelou,
• 7:11
  Speaker 5: because I don't have the license not to call her that,
• 7:13
  Speaker 5: but that clip of her on the Oprah show when
• 7:16
  Speaker 5: she gasped and fell forward, collapsing, when she went... That's
• 7:22
  Speaker 5: what I did when I watched the scene. I'm going
• 7:26
  Speaker 5: to try to break this down objectively and just tell
• 7:29
  Speaker 5: you what I thought when I saw the screen. First
• 7:31
  Speaker 5: of all, I noticed an immediate disconnect amongst the three
• 7:34
  Speaker 5: of them, right? It did not feel like a mother
• 7:37
  Speaker 5: and a son and his girlfriend sitting down at dinner.
• 7:40
  Speaker 5: If for me, it felt like you ever had a
• 7:43
  Speaker 5: job where you worked with people who were like older
• 7:45
  Speaker 5: than you, like one of your friends at work might've
• 7:47
  Speaker 5: been like an older woman and then like a younger
• 7:50
  Speaker 5: woman all y'all was cool so y'all sat down at
• 7:53
  Speaker 5: lunch afterwards that's what it felt like it felt like
• 7:55
  Speaker 5: three peers sitting down eating and um martel's reaction to
• 8:01
  Speaker 5: his mom saying that destiny did in fact have a
• 8:04
  Speaker 5: romantic attraction toward him him smiling kind of conveyed him
• 8:09
  Speaker 5: being deceptive earlier it it made me feel like he
• 8:12
  Speaker 5: had been lying about the origin story of him and
• 8:15
  Speaker 5: destiny Now, what are we talking about, though? If they
• 8:18
  Speaker 5: were in the eighth grade, seventh grade, and they had
• 8:20
  Speaker 5: like a playground crush, whatever, I don't really give a
• 8:23
  Speaker 5: fuck about that. But what his mom was alluding to
• 8:26
  Speaker 5: seemed to paint a bit of a different picture. Ariana,
• 8:29
  Speaker 5: his mom, do not seem to have any kind of connection.
• 8:32
  Speaker 5: And although his mom expressed that she was over it
• 8:35
  Speaker 5: and her opinion was the only one that people needed
• 8:38
  Speaker 5: to be concerned with, I thought that was odd because
• 8:41
  Speaker 5: there's another huge opinion here that people should be concerned with,
• 8:46
  Speaker 5: and that's his ex-wives. So I was just surprised by
• 8:50
  Speaker 5: the dialogue. I was surprised, and I'm actually concerned about
• 8:54
  Speaker 5: all three of them, to be honest with you. I'm
• 8:56
  Speaker 5: concerned about all three of them after watching that scene.
• 9:00
  Speaker 5: I'm concerned about all three. I told you I want
• 9:03
  Speaker 5: a schedule and structure and supervision for Arianne. Hot meals, P.E.
• 9:09
  Speaker 5: You know, fresh air, outside time, scheduled and allotted. But
• 9:14
  Speaker 5: his mom and him, I think, need to sit down
• 9:16
  Speaker 5: with someone like Iyanla Vanzant. I think Martel and his
• 9:20
  Speaker 5: mom would be great candidates for Fix My Life. I
• 9:23
  Speaker 5: think Iyanla would really bring some things to the forefront
• 9:27
  Speaker 5: in a way that would be palatable for the two
• 9:29
  Speaker 5: of them.
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: When you said that about Erin, are you saying she
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: needs to go outside and touch grass and get some
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: fresh air and some fun?
• 9:36
  Speaker 5: I think she needs somebody to put their hand on
• 9:39
  Speaker 5: her shoulder with the fingers leaned over the front. And
• 9:42
  Speaker 5: just guide her through the ways of life, guide her
• 9:45
  Speaker 5: through decision making, guide her through choices and guide her
• 9:50
  Speaker 5: through understanding systems and understanding her role in situations and
• 9:56
  Speaker 5: breaking down relationship dynamics maybe. with a whiteboard on wheels.
• 10:02
  Speaker 5: You know what I'm saying? I just think there needs
• 10:03
  Speaker 5: to be support and assistance, some help that would kind
• 10:08
  Speaker 5: of literally get her on the right track. That's what
• 10:11
  Speaker 5: I think.
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: Dominique Morgan?
• 10:15
  Speaker 6: You know.
• 10:21
  Speaker 4: I keep struggling with Miss Ariane because when I realized
• 10:25
  Speaker 4: she was a Leo, I don't know a Leo that
• 10:29
  Speaker 4: isn't shrewd about getting what they want and using their
• 10:32
  Speaker 4: personality to get it. And when I watched the episode
• 10:36
  Speaker 4: in the scene, what I put in my notes was,
• 10:38
  Speaker 4: The only person on Love and Marriage Huntsville who I
• 10:42
  Speaker 4: feel like is performing and acting is Arianne. Because everybody else,
• 10:46
  Speaker 4: they're not astute enough to do it.
• 10:49
  Speaker 7: Let me give you an example.
• 10:50
  Speaker 4: Like in this scene, when Martel looked over at Arianne
• 10:54
  Speaker 4: and was like, oh.
• 10:55
  Speaker 7: Yeah, she mean it. She only wants, she want to
• 10:57
  Speaker 7: be the only one.
• 10:58
  Speaker 4: That was his true feelings of, I'm tired of this
• 11:00
  Speaker 4: bitch here, honey.
• 11:01
  Speaker 7: I wish you got it on your face.
• 11:03
  Speaker 4: Like you're sitting there with your mom. It's supposed to
• 11:05
  Speaker 4: be this kind of lunch situation you set up. The
• 11:08
  Speaker 4: last thing that if he was performing, I would have
• 11:11
  Speaker 4: wanted the inner Martel to rear his dirty head, but
• 11:14
  Speaker 4: it did. Two, every man on this show will lie
• 11:18
  Speaker 4: quicker than a cat.
• 11:18
  Speaker 7: Can lick his ass.
• 11:19
  Speaker 5: My God.
• 11:22
  Speaker 4: Because his face, when that mama said, you told me that,
• 11:26
  Speaker 4: I said, oh, you're... Before we got on, I was
• 11:32
  Speaker 4: just like, I don't want to hate Martel because every
• 11:34
  Speaker 4: time I'd be like, no, it can't be that bad.
• 11:36
  Speaker 4: And then I'd be like, it's that bad.
• 11:38
  Speaker 6: You cause chaos.
• 11:40
  Speaker 4: You set fires. You want to be the firefighter, but
• 11:42
  Speaker 4: you ain't got no water. And then you cry because
• 11:45
  Speaker 4: it's hot all around you. And they keep letting you
• 11:48
  Speaker 4: do it. And it's going to reach a point where
• 11:50
  Speaker 4: everybody in the house is going to die. And the
• 11:52
  Speaker 4: other note I put here was, Arianne, I, in regards
• 11:56
  Speaker 4: to the performance where I don't think it was performance,
• 11:59
  Speaker 4: was she gets micro moments where she feels like she
• 12:03
  Speaker 4: is the daughter-in-law. And you're not even the daughter in-house.
• 12:06
  Speaker 4: He don't live with you, sister.
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: Still.
• 12:10
  Speaker 6: Right?
• 12:10
  Speaker 4: So it's like he brought his mama to lunch because
• 12:13
  Speaker 4: he originated at the destination with his mama. He didn't
• 12:16
  Speaker 4: drive you, niece. And I also want to talk to
• 12:20
  Speaker 4: Miss Marlene. Mama, what's happening with your budget to where
• 12:23
  Speaker 4: a $ 20 gift card has you weeping and wailing? What
• 12:27
  Speaker 4: do we need to do? to support you with that.
• 12:29
  Speaker 4: My good sister Juju will drive down from Atlanta because
• 12:32
  Speaker 4: if that's what's making.
• 12:33
  Speaker 7: You forgive Ms. Arianne for.
• 12:35
  Speaker 4: Also, I was just like, it wasn't like you were
• 12:37
  Speaker 4: talking to the woman who, she may not be your daughter-in-law,
• 12:40
  Speaker 4: but she's the mother of your grandchild. You know what
• 12:43
  Speaker 4: I'm saying? Like, it's just the energy was weird. But yeah,
• 12:45
  Speaker 4: and I don't want to put all of Martel on
• 12:47
  Speaker 4: his mother. I haven't been able to learn as much
• 12:50
  Speaker 4: as I would like to about Martel's father. I'm trying
• 12:53
  Speaker 4: to get a full picture of how a man like
• 12:55
  Speaker 4: him happens.
• 12:56
  Speaker 5: Good luck.
• 12:56
  Speaker 4: And I don't want to just lay it at the
• 12:57
  Speaker 4: feet of this black woman because you know what? That's
• 12:59
  Speaker 4: what the world does a lot. But for sure, there
• 13:03
  Speaker 4: is a perfect storm that made the hurricane that is Martel.
• 13:06
  Speaker 4: And everybody at that table likes being in the chaos.
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: And with Martel, it seems like he really wants the
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: public to think he's like this good person. But he
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: does the underhanded stuff on the low-low, and then he's like,
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: what do you mean? What? And it's so annoyingly fake.
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: If you're going to be the villain, be the villain.
• 13:29
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 13:29
  Speaker 6: Be the villain.
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: I know a lot of reality stars do that, throw rocks,
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: hide their hands, but he does it. To me, the
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: way the mother... You told me that, right? You are
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: doing these things, and then you want to... I think
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: he's very performative in what he thinks a good black
• 13:45
  Speaker 3: man is supposed to be, but it's so... easy to.
• 13:48
  Speaker 4: See through it's like he forgets the cameras are going
• 13:51
  Speaker 4: so he's good for a minute and then it comes
• 13:54
  Speaker 4: you do see what i'm saying like there was a
• 13:55
  Speaker 4: moment at the table when it was like oh i
• 13:58
  Speaker 4: am holding court with my mother and my girlfriend the
• 14:00
  Speaker 4: girlfriend thing even was funny to me girlfriend okay boo
• 14:06
  Speaker 4: but it's like okay i'm holding court i'm kind of
• 14:08
  Speaker 4: the man here and then you keep being the real
• 14:11
  Speaker 4: part of him claudia keeps coming out and i also
• 14:15
  Speaker 4: think that your strategies of survival are your strategies of survival.
• 14:19
  Speaker 4: What I like about this show is I know it's been,
• 14:22
  Speaker 4: what is it like, is this the eighth year of
• 14:25
  Speaker 4: Love and Marriage Huntsville? Yeah, and this episode was our 200th, yes.
• 14:30
  Speaker 4: So we've been with these two for a while, but
• 14:34
  Speaker 4: very much so.
• 14:35
  Speaker 7: But I also feel.
• 14:36
  Speaker 4: Like y'all got them when they were already who they were.
• 14:39
  Speaker 7: So like some reality, we.
• 14:41
  Speaker 5: Watch Nene from like, The evolution.
• 14:44
  Speaker 4: There was room for me to be pliable and to
• 14:48
  Speaker 4: maturate in there. What's happening with Martel is what's worked
• 14:51
  Speaker 4: with him his whole life doesn't work anymore. And the
• 14:55
  Speaker 4: show came too late for him to learn.
• 14:58
  Speaker 7: He don't want to learn.
• 14:59
  Speaker 4: And he don't have to because he also is surrounded.
• 15:01
  Speaker 4: I put in my notes, I call all these fellas
• 15:04
  Speaker 4: three and a possible. It's a spade game. Three of
• 15:06
  Speaker 4: these Negroes are cheaters. The rest of them are possibles.
• 15:08
  Speaker 4: And you don't have to change when everything around you
• 15:10
  Speaker 4: supports your bad behavior.
• 15:12
  Speaker 5: And You should be keen and astute enough to know
• 15:17
  Speaker 5: that smiling after your mom said something inflammatory like that,
• 15:20
  Speaker 5: because at this point, that was inflammatory for her to say,
• 15:23
  Speaker 5: you told me that she liked you. When your mom
• 15:26
  Speaker 5: says something like that, you should be smart enough and
• 15:28
  Speaker 5: grown enough to know ain't nothing about this cute or funny.
• 15:33
  Speaker 5: So me laughing and sniggling and shit is not going
• 15:37
  Speaker 5: to help any goddamn thing. This is actually going to
• 15:39
  Speaker 5: make me look worse and immature and And it made
• 15:42
  Speaker 5: him look like he has been lying all this time
• 15:44
  Speaker 5: and trying to deceive the audience, his ex-wife, Arianne, his mama,
• 15:50
  Speaker 5: every damn body. That's what that reaction communicated to everybody
• 15:53
  Speaker 5: that saw it. And why would he think that that
• 15:56
  Speaker 5: was an okay thing to do? Martel doesn't even understand
• 15:59
  Speaker 5: that he is in a position of permanent. He has
• 16:05
  Speaker 5: to demonstrate with his behavior that he has made some
• 16:08
  Speaker 5: changes in order for people to like him. And when
• 16:12
  Speaker 5: he is a person who has presented themselves as having
• 16:16
  Speaker 5: entrepreneurial pursuits, the Agnes, what was it, Carlos, that wine?
• 16:21
  Speaker 5: What was the wine called? Do you remember?
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: Oh, yes.
• 16:23
  Speaker 5: The wine, the other things he's tried to do. If
• 16:27
  Speaker 5: you're going to be selling a product, people have to
• 16:29
  Speaker 5: want to buy it and they have to want to
• 16:31
  Speaker 5: like you. You're selling a product being a cast member
• 16:33
  Speaker 5: on this show and a producer. So what you put
• 16:36
  Speaker 5: on the camera needs to be appealing to somebody. And
• 16:39
  Speaker 5: that behavior at that table with his mother and his
• 16:43
  Speaker 5: son's mom was not good at the end of the day.
• 16:47
  Speaker 5: It just wasn't. And he continues to blow the opportunity
• 16:51
  Speaker 5: every time he has a chance to present himself as
• 16:54
  Speaker 5: someone who has a brain and has made changes and
• 16:57
  Speaker 5: recognized areas where they needed to make those changes. He doesn't.
• 17:01
  Speaker 5: He fails every time. He did it out with them
• 17:03
  Speaker 5: fishing poles last week. He did it this week with
• 17:06
  Speaker 5: his mom and his son's mom. He fails every fucking
• 17:10
  Speaker 5: time he has an opportunity to redeem some portion of himself.
• 17:15
  Speaker 5: And it's getting frustrating, man, to watch on some real shit. Yeah,
• 17:19
  Speaker 5: you fucked up. You cheated. Y'all are divorced now. You
• 17:21
  Speaker 5: have the cleanest of slates. The cleanest of slates. All
• 17:25
  Speaker 5: you have to do is, all he has to do, rather,
• 17:27
  Speaker 5: because I'm not talking to him. All he has to
• 17:30
  Speaker 5: do is do his part. And he's not doing that.
• 17:33
  Speaker 5: Let me ask you this.
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: If you were talking to him, what would you say
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: to Martel?
• 17:37
  Speaker 8: How?
• 17:38
  Speaker 7: That's what I would say.
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: How? There's no cure for narcissism.
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: He's a malignant narcissist. He really is. And if you've
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: ever dated one and you try to use reasoning with them,
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: and I'm no psychiatrist, I ain't going to try to
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: sit here and diagnose anyone, but from he seems to
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: behave the way a man that I dated before that
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: was a narcissist, the way they laugh at certain parts
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: of a conversation where you're like, why would you smile
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: at that part? You are evil as fuck. He's getting
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: off on some of these things. Like, Things that he
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: should be ashamed of, he laughs, he smiles. Look at
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: his reaction sometimes when the women in his life are
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: really pissed off or hurting, and that goes for Arianne
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: or Destiny. He laughs at, well, smiles at weird moments like, yeah,
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: he likes the reaction he's getting. It's like he gets
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: off on it. And I don't pretend to know this man.
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: I do not know him, nor do I want to.
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: But from an outsider looking in, it just gave me like,
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: it was triggering like, He doesn't see the look in
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: people's faces when he lets them down or hurts them
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: and have a reaction in the moment the way a
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: person that is empath or has any kind of feelings
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: for another person would have. I think he is having
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: an erection at how much attention this bullshit is getting
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: him this season because he's back. He's back where he
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: wanted to be in that starring role. We're talking about
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: Martel every single week and his girl, whether it's good
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: or bad, he loves it. And the way he is...
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: I think that's his priority over all things. He loves
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: the attention he's getting, in my opinion.
• 19:16
  Speaker 4: When I look at his pathology, I agree with the
• 19:20
  Speaker 4: area of narcissism. And I spent years as a sex
• 19:24
  Speaker 4: educator in the clinic. And then I spent years working
• 19:28
  Speaker 4: as a teacher in the classroom with young people who
• 19:30
  Speaker 4: had been system impacted. And then I spent years in
• 19:33
  Speaker 4: prison with niggas just like Martel. Oh, yeah. Martel has
• 19:42
  Speaker 4: never felt safe, and instead of him figuring out how
• 19:44
  Speaker 4: to find safety, he creates equity by making everyone else
• 19:48
  Speaker 4: as unsafe as he feels. And so his smiling is relief.
• 19:53
  Speaker 4: It's just as nefarious to me. But when I look at,
• 20:00
  Speaker 4: I've been, I had to go back and watch all
• 20:02
  Speaker 4: these episodes. There was a specific episode where his former
• 20:06
  Speaker 4: wife Is it the brother or the cousin that's homosexual?
• 20:10
  Speaker 4: And Martel was like, and he said, don't do too
• 20:13
  Speaker 4: much because I'll have to say too much. And I've
• 20:15
  Speaker 4: never seen someone be so quiet before. There's things there.
• 20:19
  Speaker 4: There's something there in regards to him feeling safe of
• 20:22
  Speaker 4: what he's experienced. That's why I've been trying to understand
• 20:24
  Speaker 4: his childhood. And he causes chaos to find a space.
• 20:29
  Speaker 4: I never feel settled. I never feel okay. I need
• 20:33
  Speaker 4: everyone else to not be settled and not okay because
• 20:35
  Speaker 4: I can't feel different. And I'm not going to do
• 20:38
  Speaker 4: the work to figure out how to be OK. Furthermore,
• 20:41
  Speaker 4: he then feeds off of the admiration, the celebration of
• 20:46
  Speaker 4: it all. So he does the performance of being the
• 20:48
  Speaker 4: good guy, the performance of being the protector.
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 20:52
  Speaker 4: The good man. I also in a very awkward way,
• 20:55
  Speaker 4: I think the only person that he has ever really
• 20:58
  Speaker 4: cared about is his former is his is his ex-wife.
• 21:03
  Speaker 4: but he believed that she would weigh him out for
• 21:06
  Speaker 4: him to like, he, it was a constant test. I
• 21:10
  Speaker 4: believe like when I think I, the only time I
• 21:12
  Speaker 4: saw him express emotion as I've been going back on
• 21:14
  Speaker 4: the seasons was with, was with his ex. But there's,
• 21:19
  Speaker 4: I wish, I wish everybody here would write a book.
• 21:22
  Speaker 4: I would, cause the seasons aren't giving me enough tea. Carlos, Carlos,
• 21:27
  Speaker 4: I need a psychiatrist or somebody to sit there and
• 21:28
  Speaker 4: look at all of this because there's something there.
• 21:31
  Speaker 7: There's something- And you.
• 21:33
  Speaker 4: Did write a sub-stack. I want to make sure you
• 21:35
  Speaker 4: talk about that because I got to move on to
• 21:37
  Speaker 4: the next topic. I don't know if it's the evaluations
• 21:40
  Speaker 4: of the cast or what before you cast them, Carlos,
• 21:42
  Speaker 4: or if you know something, but I believe there's some
• 21:45
  Speaker 4: trauma there with Martel that causes him to cause trauma
• 21:49
  Speaker 4: to other people, and that's how he finds safety.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: This is Reality with the King, and I'm Carlos King.
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: Let's get back into the show. And make sure you
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: guys subscribe to Dominique Substack. She did a very deep
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: dive into this show, which I can't wait to read
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: on the plane this week. So job well done, and
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: thank you for the subscription, too.
• 22:13
  Speaker 4: Okay, I know we're running out of time, but I
• 22:15
  Speaker 4: do want to get into the scene with the Fletchers.
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: So we have Nell and Chris, which, listen, for those
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: of us who are millennials that have parents who are boomers,
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: This scene feels very familiar for a lot of us,
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: which is what happens when, as a child, you become
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: the caretaker of your parents. Miss Nell, as you know,
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: she has five children. She is a grandmother as well.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: She also is a owner of a daycare and the owner,
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: excuse me, of Posh and Prissy that she is trying
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: to get off the ground. In this scene, she talks
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: to her husband, Chris, about the fact that her father,
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: who she's taking care of, is struggling.
• 23:00
  Speaker 4: Chris admitted that this is affecting their marriage, and he
• 23:06
  Speaker 4: really believes that it's time to put her dad in
• 23:10
  Speaker 4: a nursing home, especially because.
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: He is showing early signs of dementia. This scene was
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: obviously heartbreaking, starting with you, Dustin.
• 23:21
  Speaker 5: Mm-hmm.
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: This is something that, you know, listen, for the ones
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: who are blessed enough to have a parent or two
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: still alive, this is the unfortunate reality of what happens
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: when your parents get older and the roles in your
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: relationship reverse to where you have to be the sole
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: caretaker and make some very difficult decisions. What are your
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: thoughts on what Nell is going through? And do you
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: think that Chris is right that at this stage in
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: the game, he needs to be put in a nursing home?
• 23:52
  Speaker 5: It's been time, man. It's been time. Based on the
• 23:56
  Speaker 5: reaction that we saw from Nell, the tears, she obviously
• 24:00
  Speaker 5: is feeling overwhelmed and burdened by the responsibility of his care.
• 24:04
  Speaker 5: And it's okay for her to be honest about that.
• 24:07
  Speaker 5: It doesn't mean that she loves her dad any less.
• 24:09
  Speaker 5: It doesn't mean that she's less of a decent daughter
• 24:12
  Speaker 5: because she's admitting that this is literally too much for
• 24:15
  Speaker 5: her to carry. So it's been time for her to
• 24:18
  Speaker 5: find some proper care for her dad and relieve herself
• 24:22
  Speaker 5: of that, and she can love him in that capacity.
• 24:25
  Speaker 5: You know what I'm saying? I thought that Chris was
• 24:29
  Speaker 5: attentive to her emotional needs. He knew when to kind
• 24:31
  Speaker 5: of back off and just hug her, and I liked that.
• 24:33
  Speaker 5: I appreciated that. They are a little bit older than
• 24:36
  Speaker 5: the rest of the cast, so it's good to see
• 24:38
  Speaker 5: them have good communication. They got really the best communication
• 24:41
  Speaker 5: we've seen from the couples on the show we saw
• 24:44
  Speaker 5: from Chris and Nell, so I appreciated that. I also
• 24:47
  Speaker 5: think it's charming that Nell pronounces Pritzy, Pritzy, She kept
• 24:51
  Speaker 5: saying posh and pretty. I love that. So I thought
• 24:55
  Speaker 5: that that just, you know, it just kind of tugged
• 24:57
  Speaker 5: my heartstrings. So that's what I think. It's time. She'll
• 25:00
  Speaker 5: be fine. Her dad will have proper care and she'll
• 25:03
  Speaker 5: be able to really just love on him and not
• 25:05
  Speaker 5: worry about the responsibilities of his care.
• 25:08
  Speaker 4: And before I get to you next, Dominique, one of
• 25:10
  Speaker 4: the comments said, why do we as a community feel
• 25:13
  Speaker 4: like it's a bad thing pretty much to give our
• 25:16
  Speaker 4: parents assisted living?
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: And that is a really good debate. I've had this
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: conversation with my own siblings, with other people that have
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: big families. I do know that one of the reasons
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: why I think the black community is not something we
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: think is a good thing is because not all, but
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: in some nursing homes, they really do not take care
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: of the people there. And What I will say is
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: I had to visit nursing homes for assisted living, let
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: me say that. And not all, but you guys will
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: be shocked at the conditions that some of these assisted
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: livings are in. And it made me cry to know
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: that somebody has to do that. But I also am
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: aware that not everybody is able to take care of
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: a person. But I definitely think in the Black community...
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: It is something that is frowned upon because of the
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: conditions that occurs. And on top of that, for some,
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: for some, for some, people are abandoned at nursing homes
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: and they don't get visitation.
• 26:25
  Speaker 5: Black people have fatigue and fear of going to the
• 26:29
  Speaker 5: doctor anyway. We're tired of getting bad care and we're
• 26:33
  Speaker 5: scared to go to the doctor. Let's not even bring
• 26:35
  Speaker 5: up the Tuskegee experiment, right? So there's that. But my
• 26:40
  Speaker 5: parents are in their 70s. I was just with my
• 26:42
  Speaker 5: parents this damn weekend. I think about that when I
• 26:44
  Speaker 5: move through the world. When older people are around me,
• 26:47
  Speaker 5: especially older black people, I'm holding doors. I'm moving out
• 26:50
  Speaker 5: the way. I'm helping with a bag if they need help.
• 26:53
  Speaker 5: I think about that because my parents are older and
• 26:56
  Speaker 5: living their life, moving around in the world. I want
• 26:58
  Speaker 5: people to be kind to them. you don't want to
• 27:02
  Speaker 5: abandon your parents. And there is a black code of responsibility.
• 27:07
  Speaker 5: Like no matter how your relationship was with that parent,
• 27:11
  Speaker 5: when it's time for them to be cared for, your
• 27:13
  Speaker 5: ass is supposed to do it. But your way of
• 27:17
  Speaker 5: caring for them can look like putting them into an
• 27:20
  Speaker 5: assisted living facility or getting the help you need. That's
• 27:23
  Speaker 5: a way for caring for them too. And we need
• 27:25
  Speaker 5: to reframe that.
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 27:28
  Speaker 4: I think it's a intersectional piece of the medical system
• 27:31
  Speaker 4: is extremely racist. So I think y'all have spoken to that, right?
• 27:37
  Speaker 4: I also think that the identities of the children matter
• 27:41
  Speaker 4: because I hear Dustin and Carlos talking this way. Like
• 27:47
  Speaker 4: queer Black children, regardless of their experience with their parents,
• 27:50
  Speaker 4: the data shows they always go back and help.
• 27:53
  Speaker 7: The data shows it. The data shows it.
• 27:56
  Speaker 4: If you go look at YPAR studies, you look at
• 27:58
  Speaker 4: studies that track the experience of young people who are
• 28:02
  Speaker 4: queer and trans, regardless of what they experience, when they
• 28:04
  Speaker 4: get a level of access, they will always come back
• 28:07
  Speaker 4: and support their parents. And I bring that piece up
• 28:11
  Speaker 4: in regards to Carlos and Dustin in this instance, because
• 28:14
  Speaker 4: I think that layers as a sibling experience to what
• 28:18
  Speaker 4: we expect Black women to do when it comes to
• 28:20
  Speaker 4: taking care of parents. Because I don't hear... straight black
• 28:25
  Speaker 4: men talk about the expectation and the burden of caring
• 28:28
  Speaker 4: for people in regards to that in the same way.
• 28:31
  Speaker 4: Not that they don't care, but that paying for quality,
• 28:34
  Speaker 4: they're gonna, I've heard them talk about paying for quality care.
• 28:37
  Speaker 4: That's equitable too. But the idea of being hands on,
• 28:41
  Speaker 4: the tugging and pulling. I lost both of my parents
• 28:44
  Speaker 4: before I turned 27. My father was 20. I came
• 28:46
  Speaker 4: home from prison in February of 2009.
• 28:48
  Speaker 7: My mother died in December.
• 28:53
  Speaker 4: And so I adopted my youngest sister after my mother
• 28:56
  Speaker 4: passed away. And I remember being there and having to
• 29:01
  Speaker 4: make decisions. And even that was a truncated experience of
• 29:05
  Speaker 4: having to make decisions for my mother and what that
• 29:07
  Speaker 4: took out of me and how that affects me to
• 29:09
  Speaker 4: this day.
• 29:10
  Speaker 7: I can't imagine what it is long-term.
• 29:14
  Speaker 4: And when we think about dementia, also when we think
• 29:17
  Speaker 4: about Men and dementia, they're often violent as a dementia
• 29:22
  Speaker 4: comes on. So it's not just because they're unaware where
• 29:26
  Speaker 4: they are, but they're still defending themselves and taking care
• 29:28
  Speaker 4: of themselves.
• 29:29
  Speaker 7: That's happening. So you think about people coming in.
• 29:31
  Speaker 4: When I was looking through comments, people were like, well,
• 29:34
  Speaker 4: they have enough money to get home health care. And
• 29:38
  Speaker 4: if the conversation is about money. more room, him being
• 29:42
  Speaker 4: in the home, she's, as Nell's husband said, no matter
• 29:50
  Speaker 4: what happens, Nell is going to pick up a task.
• 29:53
  Speaker 4: So if he's in the house, even if they have
• 29:55
  Speaker 4: people there to do it, Nell is going to be involved.
• 29:58
  Speaker 4: And so I felt I want to meet Miss Nell
• 30:00
  Speaker 4: so bad just to have a snack. She feels like
• 30:03
  Speaker 4: such a key to me. I feel like I would
• 30:05
  Speaker 4: really live for this lady. I also want to add this.
• 30:11
  Speaker 4: You can't cherry pick which parts of patriarchy you want
• 30:13
  Speaker 4: to undo because it feels good for you at that moment.
• 30:16
  Speaker 7: What do I mean by that?
• 30:17
  Speaker 4: The same call to take care of and be a
• 30:20
  Speaker 4: steward of the care of her father, regardless of how
• 30:23
  Speaker 4: much pressure it is on her, regardless of how much
• 30:26
  Speaker 4: it could get in the way of her having her
• 30:27
  Speaker 4: dreams of her, of this new boutique and all those things,
• 30:30
  Speaker 4: is the same system that made her stay with you, Chris,
• 30:33
  Speaker 4: after you played with that lady's life in your marriage.
• 30:35
  Speaker 8: Wow.
• 30:36
  Speaker 4: Those are the same systems. Because there's the call of,
• 30:39
  Speaker 4: if it's hard and if it's difficult, I push through.
• 30:42
  Speaker 4: Chris said, Nell is a doer. She's going to put
• 30:46
  Speaker 4: it all on her shoulders. And it's akin to all
• 30:49
  Speaker 4: of us work a lot. And have you ever been
• 30:51
  Speaker 4: in that phase when you're like, I'm tired, I want
• 30:53
  Speaker 4: to take a break. And then you got your friends
• 30:55
  Speaker 4: who are like, rest. But they'll be like, but can
• 30:57
  Speaker 4: you do this for me before you rest? That's what
• 31:02
  Speaker 4: I also heard is this can't be the only thing
• 31:05
  Speaker 4: on Nell's shoulder, right? And so, Chris, if you're going
• 31:08
  Speaker 4: to lead and you're going to have this conversation with her,
• 31:11
  Speaker 4: first of all, in her reaction... What I want to
• 31:14
  Speaker 4: see from you, Chris, as a leader, have you sourced
• 31:17
  Speaker 4: options for her? Have you thought about the type of
• 31:20
  Speaker 4: places her father, how can you as the husband help
• 31:22
  Speaker 4: her with this process, with information, making it a safe space?
• 31:26
  Speaker 4: Telling her it needs to happen is not helping take
• 31:29
  Speaker 4: it off her shoulders. And also, you're okay with her
• 31:33
  Speaker 4: shoulders being burdened with you. And maybe you should think
• 31:35
  Speaker 4: about that lifting as well. Yeah.
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: That was good. Hey, Blue.
• 31:40
  Speaker 3: Welcome, welcome, welcome.
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: Hey, Blue. You came at a good time. We are
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: talking about what's going on between Nell and Chris Fletcher
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: as it relates to her dad that she's caretaking. I
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: want to get to Claudia next in terms of your
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: thoughts on that. Then, Blue, I'll get to you.
• 32:00
  Speaker 4: After this, we will get into that Marceau and Tisha
• 32:03
  Speaker 4: scene that I cannot wait.
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: To talk about. But Claudia, your thoughts first on, listen, Nell,
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: everything you guys are saying so far is right in
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: the sense of what I love personally about Ms. Nell.
• 32:17
  Speaker 4: Ms.
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: Nell reminds me of every single Black mother that I
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: grew up with in the neighborhood. She takes on so
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: much and There is a conversation that I think needs
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: to be had when it comes to, and I agree
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: with you 1000% Dominique, when my mother passed away from
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: breast cancer, I think I told y'all this story. We
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: found out in March of 2019 and she passed away
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: two months later. Oh my God. Because she decided to
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: suffer in silence. So when Dustin talks about black folks
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: being scared of the doctor, My mother was definitely one
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: of those people.
• 32:59
  Speaker 7: Right.
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: So but my sisters. OK, and I will always give
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: them their props. They single handedly took over without being asked,
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: without being being told, without it is something that. they
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: just decided to do, I was living in California at
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: the time. And even when I came home and tried
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: to help, they, baby, they had, they had a system.
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: They had a system. And there is something to be
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: said about, listen, and there's no shade to anyone else
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: in the family because I'm not going to do that
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: at all. But what I will say is I've seen
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: my sisters, all three of them, shut everything down and
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: nursed my mother until she took her last breath.
• 33:46
  Speaker 7: So, um, What Ms.
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: Nell is doing to me is so admirable. And I
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: will always give her the credit for this because I
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: know firsthand it's not easy. But Claudia, what were your
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: thoughts on all of that?
• 34:01
  Speaker 3: It reminds me of my family, both sides, actually. So
• 34:06
  Speaker 3: my Italian side, there's no nursing home situation. That's like
• 34:10
  Speaker 3: never happening over there. Like my family, my mom's side,
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: they grew up on a farm and a house that
• 34:14
  Speaker 3: they built from scratch. Like they have a wealth. Um,
• 34:18
  Speaker 3: so they were not doing the, they did. I had
• 34:23
  Speaker 3: to take a bath in a trash bag, like a,
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: a bucket in the middle of the kitchen. Like it
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: was like that. Okay. I'm just saying it was very primitive.
• 34:31
  Speaker 7: Okay.
• 34:32
  Speaker 3: It was no gloss in Southern Italy. The Northerners had
• 34:35
  Speaker 3: it more fancy, but the Southerners, it was poverty. Anyways,
• 34:39
  Speaker 3: I seen like people just pick up, um, you know, the,
• 34:43
  Speaker 3: the extra tasks and pick up the, the weight and,
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: and take care of the folks. And then not take
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: care of themselves, right? And then I have another relative
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: here in America where, you know, there's that guilt. Because
• 34:56
  Speaker 3: in the black community, there's that guilt.
• 34:57
  Speaker 6: Like, for real.
• 34:58
  Speaker 3: Like, there's, like, nobody wants to put their people in
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: a nursing home. But I had one of my relatives,
• 35:03
  Speaker 3: it got so bad where it just wasn't even realistic. Like,
• 35:07
  Speaker 3: there was dementia.
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 35:08
  Speaker 3: There was defecating all over the house. There was violence.
• 35:12
  Speaker 3: It was where they were just out of control where
• 35:16
  Speaker 3: my aunt was trying so hard and it was ruining
• 35:19
  Speaker 3: her life and her sanity. And she went way more
• 35:23
  Speaker 3: years than, I mean, no one could ever be mad
• 35:26
  Speaker 3: at when she did do it. And I get both sides.
• 35:29
  Speaker 3: I get what Nell's going through, like that guilt, like, no,
• 35:32
  Speaker 3: I should be able to do it because black women
• 35:34
  Speaker 3: especially are so accustomed to taking on everybody's issues and
• 35:39
  Speaker 3: putting that weight on their shoulders and rarely say, no,
• 35:42
  Speaker 3: I can't do it. It's like such a bad, it's
• 35:44
  Speaker 3: so taboo for us to be like, I can't do it. No,
• 35:47
  Speaker 3: because we're used to, you know, taking care of the family,
• 35:50
  Speaker 3: raising kids, doing this stuff on our own, fighting the system,
• 35:53
  Speaker 3: fighting the man, getting paid less money, taking care of
• 35:56
  Speaker 3: a sick relative. Like you hardly ever hear people say,
• 35:58
  Speaker 3: I need help. Everyone's like, no, I got this. That's
• 36:00
  Speaker 3: why I encourage this is take the cape off. It
• 36:03
  Speaker 3: is okay to say you can't do it. Because then
• 36:06
  Speaker 3: you're going to fail in other areas. There's going to
• 36:09
  Speaker 3: be cracks. And it's okay. And she seems so overwhelmed.
• 36:13
  Speaker 3: Mel seems so overwhelmed. Chris isn't working right now, right?
• 36:16
  Speaker 3: He's not working?
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: No, his license is suspended.
• 36:19
  Speaker 3: License to what?
• 36:23
  Speaker 5: You said what, Dominique?
• 36:25
  Speaker 7: License to what?
• 36:26
  Speaker 5: Sell real estate.
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: Sell real estate.
• 36:29
  Speaker 3: So wouldn't that be even more frustrating? Like, I'm doing
• 36:32
  Speaker 3: all of this. You know I'm stressed out. You're not
• 36:34
  Speaker 3: working right now. This is the perfect time for you
• 36:37
  Speaker 3: to help me out a little bit, right? I don't
• 36:39
  Speaker 3: want to hear about how this is stressing out our
• 36:40
  Speaker 3: relationship until we exhaust all options. So maybe before suggesting that,
• 36:47
  Speaker 3: maybe it would be nice for her husband to maybe say, hey,
• 36:50
  Speaker 3: I'm going to help you pick up some of the
• 36:52
  Speaker 3: slack because she's doing this, that, this, that, and the third.
• 36:54
  Speaker 3: He's on a play with the license on suspension. maybe
• 36:58
  Speaker 3: help her a little bit before you go from that
• 37:01
  Speaker 3: to the home. You know, she don't want to put up,
• 37:02
  Speaker 3: you don't, you know, she don't want to do that
• 37:04
  Speaker 3: to her family, her dad, you know that, right? So.
• 37:08
  Speaker 7: Take a CNA class, Chris.
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: It's tough.
• 37:11
  Speaker 6: It is.
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: Lou, um, you've been very open and honest about, um,
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: what you're going through currently, you know, with your mom
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: and having to leave LA to go to Boston, which
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: is baby, that's a five hour flight. If anything, um,
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: What are your thoughts on Nell? Can you relate to
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: what Nell is going through? And to Claudia's point, which,
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: thank you for this, because I didn't think about this
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: until just now, so thank you, Claudia. I never even, which, again,
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: I'll throw myself in it. I never even thought about
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: Chris helping wipe the ass of her dad.
• 37:50
  Speaker 3: Which is a problem, right?
• 37:51
  Speaker 8: That's actually the point that I wanted to start on.
• 37:53
  Speaker 8: That's the point that I actually wanted to start with, right?
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: Go ahead, Lola.
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: Oh, okay.
• 37:58
  Speaker 8: So in 2019, when I first moved to LA, I
• 38:02
  Speaker 8: ended up having to cover Nipsey Hussle's funeral.
• 38:05
  Speaker 6: This is going somewhere.
• 38:06
  Speaker 8: And I remember there was a moment where Lauren's talking
• 38:09
  Speaker 8: and she's being very brave. Every single newspaper was like,
• 38:13
  Speaker 8: oh my God, she's such a strong black woman. She
• 38:16
  Speaker 8: didn't cry. She had her chin up. She could take
• 38:19
  Speaker 8: it all. Like they were all praising her. And I
• 38:22
  Speaker 8: wrote an article about how people clap for black women
• 38:25
  Speaker 8: when we become mules. while not recognizing that being a
• 38:28
  Speaker 8: mule is what's killing us. There have been studies and
• 38:30
  Speaker 8: research that have shown time and time again that the
• 38:32
  Speaker 8: perception that black women are strong stops us from getting
• 38:35
  Speaker 8: compassionate care when we go to the doctor. We say, ouch,
• 38:37
  Speaker 8: they think she can take it, she's a mule. We
• 38:39
  Speaker 8: say we tired, like we're drowning with our hands up
• 38:42
  Speaker 8: and they give us a high five.
• 38:43
  Speaker 6: Sister, you can do it. Pull me out the water, nigga. Like, hello.
• 38:46
  Speaker 6: Like people don't think to help us.
• 38:48
  Speaker 8: They applaud us when they need to be helping us.
• 38:50
  Speaker 8: So I get very uncomfortable when people praise women doing
• 38:55
  Speaker 8: it by themselves because that's not my choice. The thing
• 38:57
  Speaker 8: you're applauding is a trauma response. It's actually not a
• 39:00
  Speaker 8: good thing that we're applauding. And when my mother, my
• 39:03
  Speaker 8: aunt is my first mother, because when I came to
• 39:04
  Speaker 8: this country, I came with my aunt and my mom
• 39:06
  Speaker 8: and my dad came later. A lot of people need visas, right?
• 39:08
  Speaker 8: My aunt who raised me, who I call my first mother,
• 39:11
  Speaker 8: when she got sick, she told her brother, I have cancer.
• 39:13
  Speaker 6: He said, don't tell nobody.
• 39:16
  Speaker 8: She ends up passing away under his care because he
• 39:18
  Speaker 8: just keeps giving her hypertension pills. I, the person who
• 39:21
  Speaker 8: came to this country with her before she had her kids,
• 39:23
  Speaker 8: was the only one who didn't get to say goodbye
• 39:25
  Speaker 8: to her because of him. That's what happens when the
• 39:27
  Speaker 8: men in our family take over. My mother has a stroke,
• 39:29
  Speaker 8: I say, you're not about to catch me twice. I'm
• 39:31
  Speaker 8: lucky that I had a mother and a spare, yes?
• 39:34
  Speaker 6: I stepped in. My whole entire family lost their shit.
• 39:38
  Speaker 8: My mother was supposed to die at 77.
• 39:39
  Speaker 6: I caught her kidney failure in time. She turned 80
• 39:42
  Speaker 6: last week.
• 39:43
  Speaker 5: Yes, God.
• 39:44
  Speaker 6: When I take over, she's alive. But here's the thing.
• 39:47
  Speaker 8: When I had to put her in a nursing home
• 39:48
  Speaker 8: for dialysis, everyone said, oh, my mother went to a
• 39:50
  Speaker 8: nursing home and she died.
• 39:51
  Speaker 6: How dare you? They tried to shame me.
• 39:53
  Speaker 8: I said, unless you're willing to have two people help
• 39:55
  Speaker 8: her use the bathroom every three hours and change her diaper, I.
• 39:57
  Speaker 5: Don't want to hear shit from you. Shut the fuck
• 39:59
  Speaker 5: up talking to me. That's right.
• 40:00
  Speaker 8: The amount of people who try to guilt me for
• 40:01
  Speaker 8: putting her in a nursing home. My mother is in
• 40:03
  Speaker 8: the VIP of that nursing home. She has people bringing
• 40:06
  Speaker 8: her contraband. Like, where'd you get the strawberry ice cream from, ho?
• 40:09
  Speaker 6: My mother is out there running the goddamn nursing home.
• 40:12
  Speaker 6: She got homies and stuff.
• 40:15
  Speaker 8: There's a way for us to admit, and here's the
• 40:17
  Speaker 8: thing that's wild. In the middle of all this happening,
• 40:20
  Speaker 8: I stopped everything for a week and went to London
• 40:22
  Speaker 8: to see Beyonce. And they called me selfish. I said,
• 40:25
  Speaker 8: I've spent 51 weeks taking care of her. I need
• 40:27
  Speaker 8: a week of joy for myself.
• 40:28
  Speaker 5: Yes, you do. Ain't nothing wrong with that.
• 40:33
  Speaker 3: That's what happens when they're so used to seeing us
• 40:34
  Speaker 3: as superwomen. So then you take one second to like- Shocked.
• 40:38
  Speaker 2: Everybody was shocked.
• 40:39
  Speaker 6: Your mother's in the hospital. I'm about to go through renaissance.
• 40:41
  Speaker 3: And then you're a horrible person. So someone posted the
• 40:44
  Speaker 3: other day in their thing. It's the one time you
• 40:47
  Speaker 3: say no, then you're this horrible person. They forget about
• 40:49
  Speaker 3: all the yeses and all the times- That's.
• 40:51
  Speaker 6: Also Beyonce, Claudia.
• 40:52
  Speaker 5: Yes.
• 40:53
  Speaker 6: The first time I said no. It's like I never
• 40:56
  Speaker 6: said it.
• 40:57
  Speaker 5: Certainly, you can call me, baby. I'd love to hear
• 41:00
  Speaker 5: from you.
• 41:01
  Speaker 6: And the thing is, too, I will say this.
• 41:03
  Speaker 8: It changed the way I date, and this is back
• 41:05
  Speaker 8: to Love and Marriage Huntsville. When I saw that my
• 41:08
  Speaker 8: stepfather and my uncles were all living in the house
• 41:12
  Speaker 8: that she bought, but I had to get on a
• 41:14
  Speaker 8: plane six hours away to take her to her doctor's appointments.
• 41:17
  Speaker 8: The word that y'all need to understand is weaponized incompetence.
• 41:22
  Speaker 6: Okay?
• 41:23
  Speaker 8: Me by myself is all the men in my family
• 41:25
  Speaker 8: combined because we raise the girls and we coddle the boys.
• 41:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 41:29
  Speaker 6: And so one of the things for me is I
• 41:31
  Speaker 6: don't deal with men who say, you got it. Uh-uh. Okay, King,
• 41:34
  Speaker 6: I'm a damsel. I'm a fucking daffodil. What you mean
• 41:36
  Speaker 6: I got it? No, we got it. Speak French to me.
• 41:38
  Speaker 8: So I now date differently because my mother picked a
• 41:42
  Speaker 8: nice guy who was tall and handsome.
• 41:44
  Speaker 6: And everybody's like, well, he's a good man.
• 41:47
  Speaker 8: But when you're 76 and sick and on the floor
• 41:50
  Speaker 8: and can't advocate for yourself, will you be there to
• 41:52
  Speaker 8: help me? Or does my daughter have to come do
• 41:54
  Speaker 8: it and be the man of the house? I don't
• 41:56
  Speaker 8: date men that I don't trust myself to age with.
• 41:59
  Speaker 8: So watching Nell, I got triggered because I was like,
• 42:02
  Speaker 8: this is a perfect example of a good man doesn't
• 42:04
  Speaker 8: mean he's a capable man.
• 42:06
  Speaker 6: I don't just need a good man. I need a
• 42:07
  Speaker 6: capable man. Are you able?
• 42:09
  Speaker 8: And unfortunately, Carlos, no disrespect to anybody on your shows,
• 42:13
  Speaker 8: many of these women are modeling what it looks like
• 42:16
  Speaker 8: when just getting a man by any means necessary doesn't
• 42:19
  Speaker 8: age well and it catches.
• 42:20
  Speaker 7: Up with you.
• 42:21
  Speaker 8: Because now he has big feelings he doesn't have language
• 42:24
  Speaker 8: for and you have resentment that you've earned and your
• 42:27
  Speaker 8: back is broken from being a mule.
• 42:28
  Speaker 6: I'm a unicorn.
• 42:29
  Speaker 2: I'm not a mule. That's a good segue too, because
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: when we talk about this idea, what a good man
• 42:37
  Speaker 2: looks like, I do want to get into Marceau and Tisha,
• 42:40
  Speaker 2: which that scene, I know the four of you really
• 42:43
  Speaker 2: have a lot to say about it. Um, because it
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: really goes to show the, this is how I took it.
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: And listen, I could be the minority in this for sure. Um,
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: It really, to me, was a bird's eye view in
• 42:59
  Speaker 2: how a husband and a wife talk to each other.
• 43:03
  Speaker 2: But I felt like they both weren't hearing each other.
• 43:07
  Speaker 2: Because that's two different things.
• 43:10
  Speaker 4: They were alone in a room together, Marcel and Tisha.
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: And they're both saying things. And for me, I felt
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: like they both weren't even listening to each other or
• 43:18
  Speaker 2: hearing each other out. So in this particular scene, Marcel
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: flat out said he's unhappy. And he thinks that the
• 43:26
  Speaker 2: only thing that is working is their parenthood. And Belize,
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: as a man, is very selfish for a husband to
• 43:35
  Speaker 2: even want to be happy. Marcel then asks Tisha if
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: she feels like they gave it their best to each other.
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: And Tisha said, well, we have bad days and good days, but...
• 43:46
  Speaker 2: That's what marriage is about. I was breastfeeding my daughter,
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: and although it hurt, I bled, and I didn't like it,
• 43:54
  Speaker 2: it was all about the outcome. So the outcome far
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: outweighed the pain that I endured, and we set our vows,
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: sickness through health, so she felt like that's just what
• 44:05
  Speaker 2: it is. Marcel then says it's unfair for a 25-year-old,
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: that's when they met and got married, to make life
• 44:13
  Speaker 2: decisions and hold on to it Marceau, I believe, is 45,
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: if I'm not mistaken. So 20 years later, he is
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: saying that a decision he made 20 years ago, he
• 44:27
  Speaker 2: doesn't think it's fair to hold on to that. And
• 44:32
  Speaker 2: then brought up the word divorce. Letitia said, I'm sorry,
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: Marceau says divorce is not a failure. It's a retirement.
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: And that's when Letitia says, I don't know how to
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: be this for you. But, you know, we did the
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: best we could. So this is how I felt about
• 44:53
  Speaker 2: this scene. First of all, I want to give Marcel
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: and Tisha a shout out for even being so transparent
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: and having that conversation. Because to me, I do feel
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: like a lot of couples can relate to that particular scene.
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: The one thing I will agree with that we can
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: talk about, obviously, I actually agreed with a lot of
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: things Marcel said. And hear me out.
• 45:14
  Speaker 7: I did too.
• 45:15
  Speaker 2: Okay. I know what it's like to meet the love
• 45:20
  Speaker 2: of your life at 25. Okay? The first man I've
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: ever loved, I met him at 25. And what was
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: interesting is when I turned 33, I felt that, hmm,
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: is this still what I want?
• 45:42
  Speaker 5: Mm-hmm.
• 45:43
  Speaker 2: And I do think a lot of people stay in
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: relationships because, well, he didn't hit me. He didn't steal
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: from me. He didn't cheat on me. I should just
• 45:55
  Speaker 2: be happy. And I remember, because I'm a talker, so
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: I remember sitting him down saying, we need to talk
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: because we're not the same people we met at 25.
• 46:09
  Speaker 2: And I said to him with tears rolling down my face,
• 46:12
  Speaker 2: I said, I don't know what life is like without you.
• 46:18
  Speaker 2: And in order for us to be together for the
• 46:21
  Speaker 2: long haul, I need to know what life is like
• 46:23
  Speaker 2: without you. I met you at a time in my
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: life that I wanted this. You did nothing wrong. And
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: I remember feeling so guilty, like he is a great man.
• 46:33
  Speaker 2: But something inside of me wants to experience something different.
• 46:38
  Speaker 2: Long story short, we broke up for a couple of years.
• 46:43
  Speaker 2: And we ended up getting back together. And when we
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: got back together, our relationship was stronger until most recently
• 46:50
  Speaker 2: for other reasons, right? But what I will say is
• 46:53
  Speaker 2: I know what it feels like to be in a
• 46:57
  Speaker 2: situation where a person doesn't have to be physically abusive
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: to you, cheat on you, steal from you for you
• 47:07
  Speaker 2: to say, this just isn't working out anymore. And that's
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: why for me, I applaud them for having that conversation.
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: And it made me sad because I do feel like
• 47:19
  Speaker 2: Marcel and Tisha are in the marriage because they made
• 47:26
  Speaker 2: a commitment to each other and not to themselves. And
• 47:32
  Speaker 2: I feel like what people have to do when you're
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: in a relationship, you have to make a commitment to
• 47:39
  Speaker 2: yourself in order... for your spouse to be fulfilled with you.
• 47:45
  Speaker 2: That whole happy wife, happy life is bullshit. Yes, the
• 47:48
  Speaker 2: wife should be happy and her life will be happy,
• 47:51
  Speaker 2: but you can't make a wife happy and you be depressed.
• 47:55
  Speaker 2: And that's why, and I'll start with you, Dominique, that's
• 47:58
  Speaker 2: why for me, for me, I will always say, I
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: think in your 20s, you should explore life, date everybody, everything,
• 48:07
  Speaker 2: do any and everything within reason, Okay, use protection while
• 48:12
  Speaker 2: you do it, child. I think your 20s should be
• 48:14
  Speaker 2: a decade of exploration, right?
• 48:17
  Speaker 4: I think your 30s should be the time where you
• 48:19
  Speaker 4: settle down mentally and say, now let.
• 48:22
  Speaker 2: Me take this shit seriously.
• 48:24
  Speaker 4: And my personal opinion that is so unpopular and I
• 48:27
  Speaker 4: know it, I don't think anybody should get married before 40.
• 48:33
  Speaker 4: I think at 40, I do. I think in your 40s,
• 48:38
  Speaker 4: you know who you are. I think you have a
• 48:40
  Speaker 4: good sense of yourself. And I think you're able to say,
• 48:45
  Speaker 4: this is what I want, this is what I don't want,
• 48:47
  Speaker 4: and I don't have time to waste. I got more
• 48:50
  Speaker 4: years behind me than ahead of me, and I'm not
• 48:53
  Speaker 4: going to settle for anything.
• 48:55
  Speaker 2: And I know there's a conversation about children and all
• 48:57
  Speaker 2: of that, and I'll leave that for the women. But
• 48:59
  Speaker 2: what I will say is, the reason why the divorce
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: rate is at 70% is because I think people realize.
• 49:07
  Speaker 7: In their 20s.
• 49:10
  Speaker 2: You're not the man or the woman I want in
• 49:12
  Speaker 2: my 40s, and that's okay. Dominique, what's your thoughts?
• 49:20
  Speaker 4: I'm going to sit with the 40 thing. Because that's interesting.
• 49:24
  Speaker 4: But also at the same time, I'm like, oh, that's it.
• 49:26
  Speaker 4: Because if a man hasn't actualized himself by the time
• 49:29
  Speaker 4: he's 40, it's a chop. But I also just want
• 49:33
  Speaker 4: to name that I agree. I also don't think young
• 49:38
  Speaker 4: people should be dating seriously. Like, When my students used
• 49:41
  Speaker 4: to have like serious relationships in high school, I'd be like, girl,
• 49:43
  Speaker 4: this is cute. But I promise you in two years,
• 49:45
  Speaker 4: you're going to be somebody different. But culturally, women can't
• 49:50
  Speaker 4: trick off their 20s without having specific labels put on them.
• 49:54
  Speaker 4: And we've talked about this the last time I've been
• 49:57
  Speaker 4: on the show in the South. There is a cultural
• 50:00
  Speaker 4: strategy around that. getting the husband, having the child. So
• 50:05
  Speaker 4: by time your baby goes off to college, y'all at
• 50:07
  Speaker 4: tailgate at the HBCU and y'all can have, you can
• 50:10
  Speaker 4: work your set, right? There's also the conversation that men
• 50:14
  Speaker 4: push forward of that a woman's, you know, good years
• 50:18
  Speaker 4: are these 20, you know, her twenties, maybe early thirties, right?
• 50:22
  Speaker 4: And society creates a world where 45 year old Marcel,
• 50:26
  Speaker 4: if he's divorced in a year, he can go out
• 50:28
  Speaker 4: here and work his set, right? And I believe Tisha can, too.
• 50:33
  Speaker 4: That's why I wrote the piece today, because for me,
• 50:36
  Speaker 4: it's like it's never as long as you're breathing, you
• 50:39
  Speaker 4: can get your things right. But you have to break
• 50:42
  Speaker 4: out of these societal conversations. And for the black women
• 50:46
  Speaker 4: on this show, patriarchy also feels it's it's killing them.
• 50:51
  Speaker 4: But it's their safe space as well. It's it's it's
• 50:54
  Speaker 4: they're not homeless. He don't beat me.
• 50:56
  Speaker 7: Right.
• 50:57
  Speaker 4: The the bare minimums of it all. I said this
• 51:00
  Speaker 4: in a video and I still stand by it. I
• 51:02
  Speaker 4: don't think that Marceau is wrong for saying it. I
• 51:04
  Speaker 4: just don't want to hear that shit from Marceau. Because
• 51:07
  Speaker 4: when that shit was sweet, it was sweet. Go to hell, Marceau.
• 51:10
  Speaker 4: You deserve to be unhappy. You want to know why?
• 51:14
  Speaker 4: Because you extracted everything from this lady and she didn't
• 51:17
  Speaker 4: help you raise these kids. And I see how big
• 51:19
  Speaker 4: your head is. So I know them kids head was
• 51:21
  Speaker 4: big and they pushed them children out. And you sit
• 51:23
  Speaker 4: here playing with this lady.
• 51:25
  Speaker 2: And.
• 51:26
  Speaker 4: you know how to lead and be forceful when you
• 51:28
  Speaker 4: want to, then just make it plain and say you're leaving.
• 51:33
  Speaker 4: Quit having every season having to sit down and just
• 51:37
  Speaker 4: say what you want to... Because you'll cuss out a
• 51:40
  Speaker 4: woman in a parking lot and buck up any other time.
• 51:43
  Speaker 4: How about you know Tisha's not going to leave you?
• 51:46
  Speaker 4: What she wanted to say was, I ain't going nowhere.
• 51:49
  Speaker 4: What do you mean divorce?
• 51:51
  Speaker 7: She's not leaving.
• 51:52
  Speaker 8: And you....
• 51:56
  Speaker 4: If you've never led before, if you've never covered her before,
• 52:00
  Speaker 4: the best thing you can do is put your foot
• 52:02
  Speaker 4: down about this divorce.
• 52:05
  Speaker 7: That's the best gift you can give her.
• 52:08
  Speaker 4: If you know you're just going to stick around, you're
• 52:09
  Speaker 4: not going to be happy, which means no one else
• 52:11
  Speaker 4: is going to be happy. If you're going to have
• 52:15
  Speaker 4: her in open-toed white shoes out in the grass selling
• 52:17
  Speaker 4: houses and land.
• 52:19
  Speaker 3: Not open-toed shoes in the grass.
• 52:20
  Speaker 7: Indeed.
• 52:21
  Speaker 3: And white ones.
• 52:23
  Speaker 4: If that's what you're going to do, then lead and
• 52:27
  Speaker 4: let her know, listen, this isn't a conversation. This is
• 52:30
  Speaker 4: a statement. This isn't a unpacking. This is a delivery
• 52:34
  Speaker 4: of this paperwork. Last but not least, I would have
• 52:40
  Speaker 4: fired on you when you said that decision I made
• 52:42
  Speaker 4: at 25, I shouldn't have to stick with it.
• 52:44
  Speaker 6: Oh, yeah.
• 52:45
  Speaker 7: I would have fired on you.
• 52:46
  Speaker 4: And I say that because Blue brought up, when we
• 52:49
  Speaker 4: were talking about the last piece, Blue was saying like
• 52:51
  Speaker 4: the expectation of Black women and things. And y'all did
• 52:54
  Speaker 4: that episode, it was a while ago, about trans women
• 52:58
  Speaker 4: and black biological women.
• 52:59
  Speaker 7: Y'all did that episode.
• 53:00
  Speaker 4: And I really wish that I would have been on
• 53:01
  Speaker 4: there because I always talk about this because there's somebody
• 53:04
  Speaker 4: who heard what Blue said. There's someone who's listening to
• 53:06
  Speaker 4: this part right now. And y'all don't think it's real
• 53:09
  Speaker 4: because you didn't see it. For 38 years, I navigated
• 53:11
  Speaker 4: this world as a man and the expectations that were
• 53:14
  Speaker 4: put on me in this body were never asked of me.
• 53:17
  Speaker 4: And the expectations of my sister, the expectation I wasn't
• 53:20
  Speaker 4: raised to cook, I wasn't raised to be able to
• 53:22
  Speaker 4: be nice, I was none of that. And I was
• 53:24
  Speaker 4: as effeminate as you could possibly be, right? There is
• 53:27
  Speaker 4: a clear delineation and I've lived it. And that's why
• 53:31
  Speaker 4: I know, and a lot of the trans women that
• 53:33
  Speaker 4: y'all don't like, they can't accept that oppression is a
• 53:38
  Speaker 4: part of their womanhood. So it creates this tension that
• 53:41
  Speaker 4: they get angry about because they're like, I know I
• 53:44
  Speaker 4: lived in a world where no one expected me to
• 53:46
  Speaker 4: do this. I know I can exist and not have to,
• 53:49
  Speaker 4: but the truth is, and people, this may bother people.
• 53:52
  Speaker 4: Once I found peace in the fact that the most
• 53:56
  Speaker 4: consistent confirmation of my womanhood will be the way that
• 53:58
  Speaker 4: people try to oppress me. Once I found comfort and
• 54:03
  Speaker 4: I came okay with that, I found peace. And so
• 54:06
  Speaker 4: I'm glad I got divorced pre-transition because- I don't know
• 54:10
  Speaker 4: how my mind would handle. Even the echoes, Claudia, I
• 54:14
  Speaker 4: don't know how y'all feel. Even the echoes of being
• 54:16
  Speaker 4: divorced all this time. There are days I wake up
• 54:18
  Speaker 4: and be like, I might be too old to find
• 54:20
  Speaker 4: somebody who's going to love me. I didn't think about
• 54:22
  Speaker 4: that before.
• 54:22
  Speaker 7: You know what I'm saying? Like, it's just the thing
• 54:24
  Speaker 7: that I absorb.
• 54:25
  Speaker 4: And so I just want to say to Tisha and
• 54:28
  Speaker 4: anyone else who feels that way. If you don't want
• 54:34
  Speaker 4: it to kill you, you don't have to get from
• 54:36
  Speaker 4: up under it. And you're not going to ever be
• 54:40
  Speaker 4: without fear. Your courage is going to have to supersede
• 54:43
  Speaker 4: your fear. And that is going to be key because
• 54:47
  Speaker 4: there's a lot of people who stay because they're afraid
• 54:49
  Speaker 4: of being alone.
• 54:50
  Speaker 7: And that's sad.
• 54:53
  Speaker 6: She's already alone.
• 54:56
  Speaker 3: It is so sad to watch this. And yes, I
• 55:01
  Speaker 3: agree with you, Dominique. I wish Marcel would be the
• 55:05
  Speaker 3: man in his relationship or be the leader in his
• 55:07
  Speaker 3: relationship and make the decision for them because she's not
• 55:10
  Speaker 3: going to do it. She's not going to do it.
• 55:13
  Speaker 3: And he, it seems like he doesn't want to be
• 55:15
  Speaker 3: the bad guy. So he said enough things in this
• 55:18
  Speaker 3: conversation and a couple others that a woman in her
• 55:22
  Speaker 3: right mind would have been left this situation. He said
• 55:25
  Speaker 3: way too many things in that conversation. I was like, oh, oh,
• 55:29
  Speaker 3: oh my God.
• 55:30
  Speaker 2: Oh my God.
• 55:30
  Speaker 6: Oh my God.
• 55:31
  Speaker 3: And the way he like You know the minute someone's
• 55:35
  Speaker 3: feelings are not the same anymore, how they don't look
• 55:38
  Speaker 3: at you when they're talking to you. Like when people
• 55:40
  Speaker 3: be like, man, I don't know, man. They are done.
• 55:43
  Speaker 3: They are so done. Look at the body language. She's
• 55:47
  Speaker 3: this and he's like doing that. Oh my God. That
• 55:51
  Speaker 3: is like, it does not matter what his words are saying.
• 55:55
  Speaker 3: His body language, he's telling you, but he doesn't want
• 55:58
  Speaker 3: to be the bad guy in my opinion. I think
• 56:00
  Speaker 3: he wants to say the things that she goes and
• 56:02
  Speaker 3: does it. But if he knows his wife, like, I mean,
• 56:06
  Speaker 3: what we can see, she ain't going to do it.
• 56:08
  Speaker 3: She's holding on to that commitment, the commitment, commitment. They
• 56:12
  Speaker 3: both seem unhappy, not even just him. They both seem unhappy.
• 56:16
  Speaker 3: Telling me, do you think we shouldn't have to be
• 56:18
  Speaker 3: held to what we decided together at 25 and 27
• 56:21
  Speaker 3: was crazy? Do you think we've given each other our
• 56:24
  Speaker 3: best selves? Damn. And then all the other things he
• 56:27
  Speaker 3: was saying, he's always diminishing her in business. And then
• 56:30
  Speaker 3: she also diminishes herself Well, tell me what I need
• 56:32
  Speaker 3: to do. And he's like, oh, it is so sad
• 56:36
  Speaker 3: to watch this. What she's holding on to the label
• 56:39
  Speaker 3: of marriage. That marriage to me has been done a
• 56:42
  Speaker 3: long time ago. And I believe if they went on
• 56:45
  Speaker 3: this TV show, this would have been a wrap maybe
• 56:47
  Speaker 3: five years ago. Because this TV show sometimes be keeping
• 56:51
  Speaker 3: y'all together just like it be breaking people up. I do.
• 56:54
  Speaker 5: Why would they say that? Talking about in the words
• 56:56
  Speaker 5: of Fantasia. If you don't want me, then don't talk
• 56:59
  Speaker 5: to me.
• 57:00
  Speaker 6: I can hear LaTisha Scott's voice too.
• 57:02
  Speaker 3: One of my favorite songs. He's so not there. It's
• 57:08
  Speaker 3: a rap. It's been a rap and it's so sad,
• 57:10
  Speaker 3: but someone got to make the move.
• 57:12
  Speaker 2: That's one of your thoughts.
• 57:14
  Speaker 5: Okay, so I'll try to be as succinct as possible.
• 57:18
  Speaker 5: I think that they're going through a rough patch. That's
• 57:21
  Speaker 5: what I think. I think that sometimes after you have
• 57:24
  Speaker 5: been with a person for a very long time, you
• 57:27
  Speaker 5: have days where you feel the way that Marceau is
• 57:29
  Speaker 5: feeling right now. And I think that he's being honest
• 57:32
  Speaker 5: about his feelings and it is not comfortable to hear.
• 57:36
  Speaker 5: And I think he could have handled her with a
• 57:37
  Speaker 5: lot more care in that conversation and expressed himself in
• 57:41
  Speaker 5: a way that was, that made her feel a lot safer,
• 57:44
  Speaker 5: but he didn't really seem to have a view toward
• 57:47
  Speaker 5: how the things that he was saying made her feel.
• 57:50
  Speaker 5: It seemed like his priority was letting his feelings be
• 57:54
  Speaker 5: known to her. And that is something that I think
• 57:58
  Speaker 5: people should be able to do in a relationship. I've
• 58:01
  Speaker 5: been watching this show since season one, episode one. Marceau
• 58:05
  Speaker 5: and Letitia put themselves in a position where people are
• 58:09
  Speaker 5: looking for holes in their relationship because of the way
• 58:12
  Speaker 5: that they handled Melody Holt and the infidelity that she
• 58:20
  Speaker 5: was experiencing in her marriage. They seemed careless with it.
• 58:24
  Speaker 5: And people started looking at their marriage for holes and,
• 58:29
  Speaker 5: you know, ways to poke a hole in their situation.
• 58:32
  Speaker 5: And that's how all those cheating rumors and all that
• 58:35
  Speaker 5: shit started. That's why people started really putting an eye
• 58:38
  Speaker 5: on them. And now we're here where they're having a
• 58:41
  Speaker 5: really honest conversation about their marriage and people are feeling
• 58:45
  Speaker 5: like this is the end of their marriage because people
• 58:47
  Speaker 5: have been waiting for An event or a moment that
• 58:51
  Speaker 5: defined exactly. Okay. I knew it was some trouble over there.
• 58:54
  Speaker 5: I knew their marriage wasn't real I knew that they
• 58:57
  Speaker 5: were holding back and not being a hundred percent transparent
• 59:00
  Speaker 5: with their relationship But I kind of feel like although
• 59:04
  Speaker 5: that was harsh and hard for her to hear I
• 59:07
  Speaker 5: feel like she was showing care in the way that
• 59:09
  Speaker 5: she was talking to him and and he was not
• 59:12
  Speaker 5: in the way that he was speaking to her but
• 59:14
  Speaker 5: I still feel like those were words that they needed
• 59:17
  Speaker 5: to say to that he not even her because she
• 59:19
  Speaker 5: really never had her moment in that conversation it was
• 59:22
  Speaker 5: much more about how he felt in his feelings and
• 59:25
  Speaker 5: I think that he needed to say that I would
• 59:28
  Speaker 5: have said it differently, but I did not walk away
• 59:30
  Speaker 5: from that scene feeling like they need to, and they're
• 59:35
  Speaker 5: about to get a divorce. I feel like they're in
• 59:38
  Speaker 5: a bad place. And I feel like if they can
• 59:40
  Speaker 5: learn how to listen to each other and find a solution,
• 59:46
  Speaker 5: there may be one for them. But sometimes that's what
• 59:49
  Speaker 5: a rough patch looks like in a relationship. It looks
• 59:52
  Speaker 5: like conversations that don't feel good to hear to the
• 59:55
  Speaker 5: other partner, but Do you want communication? Do you want
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 5: me to express myself? Or do you want me to
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 5: be a nigga that's over here holding all this inside
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 5: and being hurtful to everybody around? You know what I'm saying?
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 5: Like they need to be able to talk to each other.
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 5: So we might not like what was said, but married
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 5: couples need to have that level of transparency in order
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 5: to make their way toward a solution of some sort,
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 5: if that's what they want. Now he mentioned divorce in
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 5: that conversation, but he did not say, and I actually,
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 5: agree with him about how he views divorce i don't
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 5: think divorce is a negative thing i joke all the
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 5: time on this show about divorce being chic you know
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 5: what i'm saying because it is but and so i
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 5: actually agree with his views on divorce but he never
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 5: told her i want a divorce from you he just
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 5: started talking about it he brought it up i don't
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 5: know if that was him trying to make the conversation
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 5: robust for the sake of the television show they were
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 5: shooting Or if that was just, I don't know what
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 5: that was, but he didn't tell her I want a divorce.
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 5: She didn't tell him I want a divorce. He brought
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 5: up divorce. So I just think we all kind of
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 5: put in the cart before the horse here. They mad
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 5: at each other right now. He's tired of her. She's
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 5: been tired of him. That's just the valley they in
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 5: right now. I think that they'll get it together and
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 5: they'll be all right.
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 2: Lou, do you agree with Dustin or do you think.
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 6: Really? That's how you're going to start the question?
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 3: Lou, get him, Lou.
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 2: Do you agree with Dustin or do you think the divorce,
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 2: the petition for divorce was silent?
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 6: Were you silenced or silenced? I'm going to be honest
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 6: with you.
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 8: We were just talking about this during the elections last
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 8: week about how men who want power, and my soul
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 8: and many of the men on the show, they want power.
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 6: It's very obvious, yes? Men who want power always pick
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 6: two extreme ways of doing it.
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 8: They even do the Barack and Michelle thing where they're like,
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 8: the place that I'm going to go, I need a partner. Like,
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 8: there's no amount of me that's going to be enough.
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 8: I need a woman who is as big as me,
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 8: is that more impressive? So when I get to this
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 8: really exalted place, I have a day one who can
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 8: have my back. That's the first, that's the Barack Obamas
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 8: and the Mamdanis and, you know, the Abduls. Then there's
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 8: the Southern black man way of wanting power that is normalized.
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 8: I want a Stepford wife until my business takes off
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 8: and I get middle-aged and tired.
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 6: Now I want a partner, but I don't train her.
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 6: and convinced her to self-abandon.
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 8: And now I want her to be a boss bitch
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 8: that I would have hated before I had the power, right?
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 6: It does not age well.
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 8: So I think what's happening is he put a bait
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 8: and switch where younger him, and he spoke to this,
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 8: thought that he wanted a wife who was just going
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 8: to be the flattened version of a wife and a mother.
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 8: She and him both agreed to that. As he started
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 8: to elevate, he started to realize, oh, there's a reason
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 8: why they call it a partnership because it takes two
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 8: to make a thing go right. I'm actually lonely right
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 8: now because there's things that I want to talk to
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 8: my partner, but my wife and I have this thing
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 8: where I eat the big piece of chicken, I'm the head,
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 8: she's the neck, yes? So now he's wanting, and it
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 8: feels very much like Martel, now you're with the person
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 8: who's willing to play that role while you're excited by
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 8: the destiny or whoever the friend is or the people
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 8: are who can keep up with you. Him and his homegirl,
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 8: the one who's new to the show, what's her name?
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 5: Sylvia.
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 6: Sylvia. He lights up when he talks to Sylvia because
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 6: it's like, we can go back and forth. You can disagree.
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 8: It's the same thing that happened with Destiny. These men
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 8: in the South, and I hate to say this, but
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 8: I've talked to a lot of your sisters, okay? A
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 8: lot of my Southern friends have hit me up because
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 8: of the show, Carlos.
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 6: Thank you.
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 8: And they've said, where we're from, the men do this
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 8: where they want us to be docile until they need
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 8: a partner. Now suddenly we got to figure out how
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 8: to be a boss bitch by Tuesday. And I just
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 8: figured out how to make the perfect quiche. Which one
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 8: is it, right?
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 2: So.
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 6: Here's the thing.
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 8: I don't disagree with Dustin, but I also don't agree.
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 8: I do think this is a turning point.
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 5: Okay.
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 6: I think it's equally possible and not possible, if that
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 6: makes sense. Perfect scene.
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 8: Yeah, they've turned a corner where he said it out loud.
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 8: The divorce word, once you say that word, you can't
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 8: unring that bell in a marriage. My friend who was
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 8: married was watching with me.
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 6: She heard the voices. She jumped up off the couch
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 6: and said, are you good? It's like red rum.
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 8: You say it three times and the papers show up, right?
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 8: So once you say the D word, and I don't
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 8: mean the fun one, it's a tricky time because now
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 8: she can't unhear that that's a possibility.
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 6: I will say this.
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 8: The thing that made me sad was he's tired because
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 8: he needs a partner. And as a business owner, Letitia
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 8: Scott pissed me off where every time she talks about partnership,
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 8: she wants tasks.
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 6: Baby, that's what I get to my assistant. Do you
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 6: want to be a partner? Do you want to be
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 6: my assistant?
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 8: She says she wants to be a partner, but she
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 8: talks like an employee. And he's like, I'm too tired
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 8: to tell you what to do. I need somebody else
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 8: to tell people what to do. So I'm sad for
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 8: her because, ladies, watch this. When you self-abandon and you
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 8: become the perfect wife and mother and your nipples are
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 8: bleeding and everything's happening, but you're like Miss Silly trying
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 8: to figure out how to make it work, at some
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 8: point that man will look at you and say, I
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 8: wish you hadn't let yourself go. I wish you hadn't
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 8: abandoned yourself. I wish you'd figured out what makes you passionate.
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 8: Now suddenly he wants you to be this big thing.
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 8: So I think it sucks. I also do think, though,
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 8: she's never leaving him. And if they do get divorced,
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 8: he's going to have to be the one to pull
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 8: the trigger. In his mind, he's thinking, one more thing
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 8: I got to do and tell you what to do.
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 3: And bringing up the D word, divorce, in a marriage, whatever.
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 6: On camera.
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 3: Again, yes, doing it in your life and then doing
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 3: it on camera, it is ten times worse. I was
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 3: married for five minutes, okay? Not that I have a
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 3: whole bunch of experience in marriage, but there's certain conversations,
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 3: like you said, Blue, can I ring the bell? Like
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 3: once it's put out there, that's all she thinking about.
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 3: When she talked to her homegirls, I bet you that's
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 3: the first thing she said when she called up whoever
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 3: it was. He talking about a divorce.
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 6: Divorce?
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what the conversation is going to be.
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 5: It was Ms.
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 7: Wanda.
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 5: That's what she called. She called Ms.
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 2: Wanda.
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 4: I think Tisha does need to think about Like when
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 4: I wrote that piece around sovereignty, like I pull out
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 4: the whiteboards.
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 5: Let me go subscribe right now.
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 4: And I pull out the whiteboards. I call like my
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 4: old professors and I'm like, how do I aggregate? How
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 4: do I take human beings and turn them into data
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 4: and numbers?
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 7: Right.
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 4: So I took six to seven episodes of each person.
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 4: We transcribed them and I did word trees. I'm like,
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 4: what words do they say a lot? And everything with
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 4: Tisha comes back to sovereignty on the other side because
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 4: everything that she thinks about is ownership, protection, and him.
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 4: So sovereignty has to be on that other side for her.
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 4: And I was not pleased with what Dustin said at first,
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 4: but now I'm sitting with it. And I don't 100%
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 4: agree in regards to.
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 7: I don't like it.
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 4: But I think that if Tisha wants to stay and
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 4: she wants to grow for him, grow, but not for him.
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 4: Grow for it, but not for him. And if that
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 4: benefits your marriage, awesome. But you got to benefit you.
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 4: Because as much as I wanted to hear her talk
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 4: about what did she want at 25?
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 7: That flattening piece, that growing piece.
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 4: And now you want me to wear a 27-piece little unit?
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 4: You want a shortcut on me and you want a
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 4: peplum dress? You said you want a long hair. You
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 4: wanted a God-filled jean skirt on me.
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 7: And so.
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 4: I really want her to grow, but not for him.
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 4: Do not do that next. Do not become a boss
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 4: for him. If it works, it works. I also feel
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 4: like Tisha, it's a baby. You get you some nasty
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 4: pieces out here. She is a beautiful woman.
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 5: She is gorgeous.
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 4: I also believe the moves. I would love to take
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 4: Tisha and put her in the DMV.
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 5: Oh, she would thrive in the DMV.
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 7: Or in Florida. They love a chocolate pretty girl. They
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 7: really do.
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 2: But she wouldn't end up.
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 8: With a Russian though, Dominique. She would be with a
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 8: white man. Now she got to explain to Carlos why
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 8: the show look different.
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 4: Listen, if you can explain why you let a Negro
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 4: work you like that for 20 years, you can explain
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 4: a Caucasian man.
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 2: He's Boris.
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 6: He's my husband, Boris.
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 3: This is the best she's looked, but it's also the
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 3: saddest she's looked to me. And I think that I
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 3: honestly think they are doomed. I think when you get
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 3: to a certain point, I don't see you going backwards.
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 3: I just don't see how you fix that. I really don't.
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 3: I don't. He seems like he has no respect for
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 3: her as a type of woman she is. And once
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 3: that is gone, it is hard to like, you know,
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 3: conversations to get it back. How?
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 4: How?
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 3: He's been saying, this ain't the first time he's talked
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 3: to her like this. It's not.
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 8: No.
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 3: I remember last season, I felt like there was like this.
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 3: I was like, God damn. Then it's like, okay, is
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 3: it for the show? Nah, that seemed like a real conversation,
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 3: and it seemed like he is over her, and she
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 3: is looking for him to see her. The conversation they
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 3: had remind me how most conversations in LA are, where
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 3: someone's giving a monologue, and the other person's giving a monologue,
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 3: and no one's connecting. No one's looking each other in
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 3: the eye. No one's even listening to what the other
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 3: person's saying, processing it, and giving an answer. It's like, yeah, well,
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 3: you know, my ab workout is this. The other person, well,
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 3: my trainer tells me this. They're not even connecting. They're
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 3: just both just saying things past each other. Ain't nothing.
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 3: They are not connecting at all. And it was sad
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 3: to watch. It was sad to watch.
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 8: Being male-centered doesn't age well. I think that's the cautionary
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 8: tale in all of this. When you center men rather
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 8: than centering what actually works for you, it's not going
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 8: to age well because at some point, he's going to
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 8: very ironically resent you for constantly centering him.
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 3: Hell yeah.
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 6: Men like to be kept on their toes. And here's
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 6: the thing, too.
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 8: I was engaged at 21. I was engaged again at 24.
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 8: I do agree with Carlos that, well, it's not going
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 8: to be 40 because, Carlos, we got eggs and stuff.
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 6: No, I know.
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 8: This is a biological reason why I can't clap for that.
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 4: I know.
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 6: Okay, okay. Eggs.
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 8: But as somebody with eggs, I would say, Carlos, the
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 8: math doesn't agree.
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 6: Over 30, though. Please let your frontal lobe fully congeal
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 6: at least.
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 2: But also freeze your eggs if you're able. It's expensive.
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 6: That's a very big able. That's a huge... I am
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 6: in my 40s. I could just start to afford to
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 6: freeze eggs about a year ago, Carlos.
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 2: You're going to do.
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 3: It at your peak and you're broke at your peak.
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 6: You're broke when it's time to freeze them.
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 8: So unless you get a sugar daddy to pay for it,
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 8: he's going to be like, are those my babies?
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 6: I will say this though. I find it deeply ironic that.
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 8: that they tell women that men get better with age
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 8: and we expire in our 40s, when the gag is
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 8: we're at our best in our 40s, they want us
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 8: to fear the time when we are the most powerful.
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 8: That's not a coincidence that they've convinced us to fear
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 8: the decade when we become the most powerful. Tina Turner
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 8: did not become the bad bitch that you know her for.
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 8: What's Love Got To Do With It came out when
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 8: she was 45. Her second act started at 45, middle-aged.
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 8: The Tina Turner that created Beyonce and everybody else was
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 8: a middle-aged woman, divorcee, very chic in the words of Dustin.
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 6: With children.
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 5: Thank you, sister.
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 6: At the daycare, yes?
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 8: And so they don't want us to know that we
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 8: can get stronger. I am so much better now than
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 8: I was 20 years ago. You couldn't pay me to
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 8: be in my 20s again. I don't disagree with what
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 8: he meant. I am disgusted by the lack of compassionate
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 8: care in which he delivered it.
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 5: I agree with that 100%.
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 2: Raindrops. Make sure y'all tune in to Love and Marriage
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 2: Huntsville every Saturday, 8 o'clock, 7 central on the Oprah
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 2: Movie Network. Next week's episode is another one that... You
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 2: guys have a lot to say about next week's episode.
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 3: Does he let her touch him next week? You will see.
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 2: They continue the conversation next week and you will see
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 2: how they decide to handle it. So that's this Saturday.
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 2: 8 o'clock, 7 Central.
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 5: Can't wait.
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 1: Reality with the King is executive produced by me, Carlos King,
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 1: produced by Jamie Shaper in partnership.
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 2: With the Black Effect Podcast Network.
• 1:11:48
  Speaker 1: You can also find us at our YouTube channel at
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 1: thecarlosking underscore. I'm also dropping tons of exclusive episodes on.
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 6: Patreon, which you don't want to miss. Make sure to
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 6: subscribe to that, too.