Latest / Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home / Sonnie Linebarger - Evoking Greatness for us Dads

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Sonnie Linebarger - Evoking Greatness for us Dads · Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home

• 0:03
  Speaker 2: Hi, I'm Riley and I'm Ryder and this is my Dad's Show.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Hey everybody, it's Casey Jaycox with the quarterback Dad Cast, and welcome to season 5.
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: And before we get to today's episode and a quick message, I wanted to say thank you so much to Assam and team up at Latitude Sitka or Latitude 57.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: You guys have been just a fantastic partner.
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: I want to say thank you so much for your sponsorship, your support and ways to spread the message to other dads out there how we're trying to improve the leadership skills in the homes of many families across the world.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: With that said, I want to let you know there's going to be some new sponsors being added to the podcast, and I also wanted to highlight what's going to happen in the month of February, which is the first ever women to join the quarterback Dad Cast.
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: Everybody yes, you heard that right.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: They're going to have the very first women ever to join me on my show.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: For the next four weeks, you're going to hear from some fantastic women supporting dads and you're going to learn about some perspective, but, more importantly, you're going to be educated, and I want to say I'm so excited for these women who are going to be coming on.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: So with that, let's get right to today's episode.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: Well, hey, everybody, it is Casey Jaycox with the quarterback Dad Cast.
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: We are in season 5 and we are continuing this journey of bringing women into the fold.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: I know you're like what.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: I thought this was only for dudes, I know, but Sunny is going to bring us home and her name is Sunny Limebarger and I met her through the power of LinkedIn.
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: She spent nearly over 20 years in the hospital industry, specifically hospice, and when I saw hospice made me think of my dad.
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: Shout out to Mike Jaycox Rest in Peace.
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: December 29, 2021.
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: And we had that to talk about.
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: But what I loved about Sunny is she's a hashtag boy mom and we've had some girl dad recently, but we're going to learn about what boy mom means.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: She has a business, an executive coaching and speaking business called Evoke Greatness.
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: It's also her podcast, evoke Greatness, which I would highly encourage you to check out.
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: This is one of the most sought after podcasts and listen to podcasts out there.
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: But without further ado, we're going to talk to Sunny the mom, and Sunny how she works hard to become that, I guess, quarterback of her own household with her husband and talk about what it means to be a hashtag boy mom.
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: But without further ado, sunny, welcome to the quarterback, dad Cast.
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: I'm glad to be on, glad to be the final of the four.
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: Final of the five.
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: Final of the five.
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: I think I'm better.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, five women.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: We had two female authors, actually three female authors.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: We've had a female USA National Soccer member team.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: Shout out to Joanna Lohman.
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: Love, love me some, joe.
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, joe, that's right, I do know.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: Joe, yeah, we talked about that.
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: I'm sure if you saw that for girls 12 to 16, which is fantastic, I just re-promote that day.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: But okay, we always start each episode with gratitude, so tell me what are you most grateful for as a mom today?
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, as a mom, geez, I you know this world today.
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: This worldly world is.
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: It's my husband and I were just talking.
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: It's hard for kids, right.
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: We go back to like our high school or junior high days and we felt like it was rough then.
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: You know, just social pressures and man throw technology in there, and so I'm really grateful that I have kids, despite the fact that they're on technology.
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: You know they do the things.
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: They're athletes.
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: They may not, you know, always be the most mindful.
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: Or if I say, hey, pick up your clothes, they do it the very first time, right, but you know what they do they run for a door.
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: If they see an elderly couple trying to go for the door, they will move the room to make sure that that door opens.
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: They just have these, like these inborn matter manners that you just that you hope that your kids have.
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: Like you try to show them the example, you try to hold them accountable to that, and so I'm always telling them, when they do something like that, like all I have to say to them is you're a good man, charlie Brown.
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: There we go so my kids.
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: they're good, they have great hearts and they're pretty tremendous kids.
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: Well, I'm grateful.
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: I'm grateful I'm actually going to go.
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: I'm grateful for the experience that you gave me, which is we had to move this time I just talked about it for a short recording and so the power of being an entrepreneur I'm the boss and I this decision sometimes are good or bad, it doesn't matter, I'm the boss.
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: And so, instead of having three hours back to go do something differently, I'm going to use that three hours back to go help my wife and the other parents who are helping with senior night at our high school for our girls basketball team.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: As mentioned, my daughter is a sophomore in the squad, but, like I'm going to go celebrate the seniors because I'll never regret doing that and they'll be there for memories and be memories to the parents who are seniors, and I hope that other parents see that I'm doing this and that when it's my turn, it's kind of like that pay it forward, follow the golden rule of life mentality.
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: So if you didn't have to change the time, sonny, I would not be able to do this.
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: So thank you Great.
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: Excellent, well, and you allowed me to be able to get my boys to football practice.
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: That got changed, that time got changed, so it worked out for both of us.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: There we go.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: Meant to be serendipity, okay, so bring us inside the huddle, the family huddle.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: Tell me a little bit about, maybe, how you and your husband met, and then talk about what each child is up to currently.
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, so me and my husband we met at church.
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: No, I'm just kidding, we met in a bar.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: Well, that could be a church.
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: Well, maybe, yeah, we met in a bar years ago.
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: We've been together 21 years now, and so, yeah, we were.
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: We were young and just, you know, had a had a blast getting to know each other, and what was interesting was my husband had been previously married.
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: I had never been married.
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: I have a had a really kind of hard fast rule that I was going to get married one time, that's it.
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: So one shot.
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: My mom had been married twice, decided to never marry again, and that was when I was two years old, so for her whole life she's really not been married.
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: And then my dad's been married like five times and so I'm like you got one shot on this one, and so we dated for three years before we ended up getting married and so, yeah, he's, it's.
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: It's been a fantastic ride.
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: You know of the ups and downs, and doing life together has been phenomenal.
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: We have two boys, and they are 15 and 12.
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: My 15 year old.
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: So they both play football.
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: They're both incredibly athletically inclined.
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: Just, they've got a natural raw gift for it.
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: That's always nice, and so my brother actually coaches both of their football teams.
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: Oh, wow.
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: So it's really a lot going on inside of our family, a lot of different roles that they're playing.
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: So, 15 year old, he is a sophomore in high school.
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: He's football looking, he just got his driver's permit and so he's been chauffeuring us around everywhere we go, so it's that kind of new season for him, which is really exciting.
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: And then and my 12 year old, he is in seventh grade and incredible football player as well.
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: So he is, he plays on the 12 you team and then he actually plays up for the 15 you team as well.
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: Oh, wow.
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: Order back for both.
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: Whenever he plays on the 15 you, he steps in as the quarterback and so very talented kids, very different kids my 15 year old is.
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: He wouldn't tell, he wouldn't admit this, but he's one of those like.
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: He's an incredible empath.
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: He feels other people's pain around him, he senses feelings and and so it's really interesting to watch him navigate life knowing those things about him and I always tell him that they're multiple things that he has a gift at and that is animals.
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: So you either need to be a veterinarian, you need to be a pediatrician, because he is like babies and toddlers are just drawn to this kid.
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: He just emits this energy that is calming and fun.
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: And then the elderly.
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: So there's a lot of things he can do, but it is really driven with like a sense of human compassion.
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: So that's really neat to see that flourish as he continues to grow.
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: And then my 12 year old total, other end of the spectrum.
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: He's incredibly smart.
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: On a littical he can look at something and just like you see almost like that Einstein, you see the figures working out in his thought bubble and so it's a.
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: He's never had to really study for anything.
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: My 15 year old has to study a lot, just like I did when I was younger.
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: So it's interesting to see their different skill sets and traits and the things that they enjoy doing.
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: Isn't it funny how some kids like my daughter, school comes really easy to her.
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: My son has to work a lot harder.
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: Like I had to work a lot harder.
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: It came more easy to my wife.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: But, like, if you had to look at like get a look, sorry, I got some friendly dogs that want to join us for this podcast interview.
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: They, he has to work hard and, like you, look like studying for like what's it called?
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: If you had to look at like the SATs, I just couldn't have the mindset to just like take.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: I didn't have like the I mean it's called the attention span I would just get bored.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: I'm like I don't want to do this.
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: And but I guess, for your kids, where do the love of football come from?
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well, my husband, he loves football.
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: I love football.
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: We really had my brother play, played football his entire life, played all through high school, ended up going to Oregon State University on a scholarship for football.
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: Unfortunately, blew out his knee, and so now he has a son who is 18.
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: And so he's been coaching him in football for years.
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: And then my boys got folded into the mix and so he just continues coaching because they're playing now.
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: Oregon State.
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: That's my neck of the woods.
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: I mean kind of I'm just in Washington, but Oregon State, what an interesting time for the pack 12, now pack two or pack whatever it is.
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: Such a bummer to see.
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: Now, were you an athlete.
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: Well, I've always been very athletic.
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: So I played basketball, I played softball a lot and then I just didn't.
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: I've always been very athletic but I just didn't apply a lot of that like throughout high school as I got a little older in high school, so I probably had some wasted talent.
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: Well, maybe you're using, maybe using that talent elsewhere now.
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: Well, yeah, for sure.
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: And now I'm incredibly like I hike all the time.
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: I'm.
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: You know I probably use my athleticism more as a grown adult than I did, kind of, when it was in its prime.
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: My wife's like that too.
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: She was a like a competitive dancer in high school and then now she got into, like CrossFit she's actually, unfortunately, those that listen to the podcast.
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: She actually had an injury when she got her vaccine shot, which is not a not a bueno, but like hopefully that we're going to eventually get over that so she can get back to doing like things she wants to do.
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: But like she was like full on my CrossFit competitions and way, way better than the stuff that I was, which was kind of fun to see the kids see mom kick ass and that stuff.
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: Right, okay, so both we got two stud athletes, we got more.
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: It sounds like we got better humans, though, which I love that you know because athletes are going to.
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: It's always.
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: I mean, athletics only lasts forever and I think the goal, when I talk about other dads I've interviewed is like the goal is let's just create great humans.
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: That's right.
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: And you shared the story about, you know, opening a door for elderly.
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: When you said that, you made me mainly think of your hospice journey.
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: Did you think that's maybe why they saw that?
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: I think it's more innate than that.
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: I think that that probably appealed more to my older son, who was, I mean, just tiny when I started that.
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: And I remember he came or I went to a parent teacher conference and his teacher said to me I don't think your son really knows what you do.
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: And I said, oh, why do you say that?
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: And she goes.
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: Well, he said you take care of dead people.
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: And I said well, he's half right, I take care of them on that final chapter of their life and then I do provide care after they've passed away.
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: And she was like, oh, so I said no, I think he actually does have a good clue of what I do.
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: Wow, all right.
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: So as we think about, I always like to transition this question to what was life like growing up for you, and you mentioned your mom married once, dad married five times.
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: But just talk about what was life like growing for you, and I'd love to hear some of the core values that were really talked about as you were growing up, that now you transitioned to your role as a mom and wife now yeah, it's amazing how many things we don't appreciate or we didn't think that we'd ever do as parents, that then we grow up and we become parents in life and so many of the things we take directly from our parents' playbook, right?
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: So, yeah, my mom had been married twice.
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: She and my dad divorced when I was two, two and a half, and so I never really knew life with those two together and I, frankly, I still say to this day I can't even imagine them married, which is just kind of funny.
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: And so my dad was in the rodeo and he was an iron worker and so he was gone.
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: So I was primarily raised by my mom and so she had my brother and I and as a single parent, working three jobs at a time just to make ends meet, and oftentimes we didn't have extra, but we never went without.
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: There were certainly times when we went to the food bank and got food boxes, when our cereal was powdered milk mixed with water, but we never really knew.
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: We probably didn't know how much we didn't have, because it just wasn't.
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: She really wasn't the environment she raised us in, and so that was an interesting piece, but she would sit down with us, so money was always.
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: It was always a topic, not in a way of scarcity, but in a way of she wanted us to understand what we had.
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: So here's what my paycheck are coming in, here's what the bills are, and so when you want to have, you're asking for these other things there isn't anything right.
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: And so I just so she would sit down with us and we'd talk through the budget, and so I think that was really interesting.
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: I didn't recognize the power of that in the moment, and so I think it was.
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: We had a very small family, it was us three, and we learned to really appreciate and kind of have this core set of humans that we relied on.
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: My brother was six and a half years older than me, or is six and a half years older than me, and so he probably had to take a dad role, whether he liked it or not, whether he wanted to, or not, and so I think he he was, like I said, he was an athlete, he was kind of this quiet presence but like so driven and so determined, and so there are so many things that I garnered from him growing up and but, you know, never had a whole lot, didn't always realize that we didn't have as much, but I mean, I distinctly remember, probably junior high, maybe once a month my mom and I my brother was in college my mom and I would go to a burger shop, so if she'd have money left over that would be like our treat, and so those are things that I absolutely love today, you know, I think back on those things, but what my mom kind of had us recognize early on was the fact that no one's coming to save you and you know you can't rely on something else or someone else Like you really have to make sure that at the end of the day, you're taking care of yourself, and I'm sure that was probably some.
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: You know she was taking care of two kids all by herself and she probably had times in her life where she didn't feel like that was the most fair thing.
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: She probably didn't want to be working three jobs, but she did what she had to do and she raised, you know, two great kids.
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: I had some wayward times throughout high school that I put her through the ringer, and so now, like there's days where I still look back on them like, have I apologized enough?
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: She's like Sonny.
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: I don't even remember those days, like those are so long gone.
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: But I just I really I really kind of pushed her to the brink and she had to exert some really tough love and I think that was incredibly difficult for her and it was a wake up call for me.
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: And so, you know, taking all of those things in life and translating them to you, getting married right Again, it was like I'm getting married one time and finances for me have always been incredibly important.
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: I am very independent when it comes to making sure that everything is covered.
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: Financial security is incredibly important for me and it used to be in more of a scarcity mindset because it was like I don't ever want to be in a position where I don't have enough.
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: So that's always been.
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: That's my husband.
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: The way he was raised was spend the money.
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: You know you can always make more, and so we had some really difficult times early in marriage because we had such a different philosophy yeah, what, what, what finances meant and so.
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: But today it's so funny.
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: I mean I look at him now and we have worked really hard over the course of our careers in our lives and got completely debt free and you know, our house is paid off and and it was through diligence and, you know, a lot of learning to see eye to eye and recognizing what was important for the security of our family.
• 17:53
  Speaker 3: You know us probably having to compromise a little bit each way and but I think and then that being passed down to my boys, where they still, you know, financial securities, it's an important thing for them, so they have their savings accounts.
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: You know we do tithing and so they do.
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: You know, from whatever comes in, it's like, okay, 10% has to go to tithing, 10% to savings, you can spend the rest, but then you always have this piece.
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: And those are a lot of the things that we wove, you know kind of wove from childhood into our lives, growing as adults and then into parenthood as well.
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: I my giggle I should make.
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: I wasn't laughing at your husband, I was laughing because that that that's mine.
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: So I just make, make more.
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: You sound like my financial advisor.
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: No offense, guys, but I think it's funny.
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: When I was growing up, my I don't know if we spent enough time doing budgetary conversations like my wife was very more Budgetary conscious.
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: Now she's very like she's the CFO of the family.
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: I'm more the CRO.
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: You know CRO?
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think it's.
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: It's, it's a requirement for us to have a good marriage is like I had to check my ego and like, listen, my wife's better than that, than me.
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, do I know what's going on?
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: Yes, do I understand?
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: Yes, but I don't really want to do that stuff and that's what.
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: And there's things that she doesn't want to do that I do, and so it's like I think you have to find those balances.
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: And again, dad's, you're listening here which is us checking ego.
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: I mean Sunny's checking her ego.
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: I'm checking my ego and I think, as these are great lessons that we're thinking about to teach our kids is the power of you know personal finance and budgeting.
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: But I want to go back.
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: So when you're a kid and your mom tells you this stuff at one point, were you more understanding of her, were you more like well, make more mom.
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: I mean I don't think I had a good understanding of it, like I don't, you know, she, she was always about writing oh, it's okay, let's make a list, let's make a list.
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: And I hated making lists.
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: And now I'm like okay, kids get a piece of paper, we got to make a list, so it's.
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: I don't think I appreciated it, or even I don't think that I did at the time.
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: I think I came to you know later in life and through maturity and experience and wisdom, but I don't, you know, I don't remember really kind of being like okay, I'm not going to want anything.
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: I'm sure I was, you know, probably a punky little kid who still wanted stuff.
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, when you said apologize to your mom, what comes to mind over things you wanted to apologize to her for?
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: Oh man, I, I just got caught up in some bad stuff.
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: So I earlier in my life I was had a very much fixed mindset, very much I wanted to fit in so bad.
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: And I see that similar characteristic in my 15 year old, and so it sends this like fear through me sometimes, but comes down to the basic element of wanting to belong Right.
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: And today I appreciate that I don't always fit in or belong and I can.
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: I'm empowered by that.
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: Then I just wanted to fit in and so I started making poor decisions.
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: I got mixed up in drugs, I was doing some you know just awful stuff, and that was for a handful of years and really got a wake up call when I was 17.
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: And I, my mom, used to tell me God will only tap you on the shoulder so many times, sunny, and eventually he will knock you to the ground.
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: And I remember her telling me that growing up.
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: And then all of a sudden it was like ooh, god knocked me to my knees.
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: And it was a point where I had to make a decision as to what I wanted to do in life, whether I wanted to go down the left path, which I knew wasn't very good, or down the right path.
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: And it was like, after that experience I completely disassociated with anyone, which was probably the hardest thing, because you have friends and you finally feel like you belong and it's really it's around bad things, you know, and but it's that sense of connection and so I had to disassociate with anyone that I hung out with previous to started just putting my nose back into school and focusing on those things.
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: Never thought that I was good in school and so I never really tried throughout high school, ended up dropping out.
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: And the interesting part of that is, even though I dropped out, I ended up getting my GED and starting college courses before everyone else.
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: So it was like went wayward, you know, hooked a left and then and then hooked a quick right, and the interesting part of that was I never applied myself because for years I literally I thought I was stupid, so I never tried in school, did terrible throughout high school, want to end up wanting to be a nurse and go in and I have to take these entrance exams and this is like medication that you're dealing with.
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: There's a lot of math involved and I thought I'm going to blow this.
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: I'm never even going to get into nursing school.
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: I go in and I pass this thing with flying colors and I'm like wait a second.
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: And all of a sudden it like opened up the possibility in my mind that maybe you weren't dumb, maybe like maybe you actually Kind of have a half a brain and why don't we start using it?
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: And so it opened up this whole new world where I absolutely excelled.
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: I was class president, I it was this whole new world that I had never really tapped into but all of a sudden got this kind of shining light through a hole to say, hey, this, this too could be yours, right?
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: And I think that really changed fully changed the trajectory of my life.
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: Wow, thank you for sharing.
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: Did your your kids know the story?
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: Not fully, yeah, so they know some of it.
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: They know, you know, they know that I always talk about like oh man, I just, I put grandma through hell.
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: But I think they're at an age where I'm not sure that that's the wisest thing to share.
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: I think, if you know, eventually, when they're 17, 18, I think you know I have shared with my 15 year old like there's a lot of reasons why it just scares me for the world that it is today For high schoolers who their social pressures there's technology and you know it's vying for your attention 100%?
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: Do you think so?
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: I heard let me know if I heard you correct there was some self confidence issues, belonging, you said.
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: When I hear the word belonging shout out to Paul Howrie, he's when a guy met my journey of entrepreneurship.
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: Paul Howrie is a belonging coach.
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: I didn't know what that was until I met him.
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: He's fantastic.
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: So if anybody's looking, look up Paul Howrie or maybe I'll link him in the show notes because he's frigging fantastic guy and I met him in 2020.
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: But how much?
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: I'm curious because I've heard that you know families growing up without a present father.
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: Your brother played that role.
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: How much do you attribute a dad not being there to any of the struggles you went through?
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: A lot.
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: I didn't Again in the moment, you don't realize it, but definitely have had and have, I'm sure you know, still still kind of dealing with those elements, even through marriage.
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: You know you think about how much that comes into play and so I think there were a lot of issues with an absent father.
• 24:59
  Speaker 3: You know that that I'm still kind of navigating through, much more aware of it today, know how to navigate the emotions around that a little differently, kind of those triggered things.
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: But that's why I also think it's such a core value in our family.
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: You know, my husband and I we've been through hell and back ourselves right.
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: Most marriages, especially when you're at that 20 year mark, keep in through a lot.
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: And so I think our commitment to his parents were, and have been married I think 40 something years, so they've been together since they were 15 and 16.
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: And so again like two total opposite ends of the spectrum.
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: But that's a core value in our family is is to keep that family centered and united.
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: Love that Now are mom and dad still with us.
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: Yes, both, both on both sides.
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: Okay, and do you have any sort of relationship with your dad?
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: I do Now I do yeah, so he's lived.
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: He lives probably 25 minutes from me.
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: We get together, you know, every couple months.
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: You know Um way more of a relationship today than probably ever.
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: That's good, that's great, really good to hear.
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: So it's interesting.
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: As you're talking, as you will be now, like we said earlier, the fifth female ever to come on the quarterback, I guess I wish you guys maybe I should need to buy you guys t-shirts or make that's what I'm gonna do Shout out, I will make sure I will get t-shirts done till I'm making.
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: Give myself homework, but having you know, having some previous guests on as I think about me and Madeline Anderson, very first guest ever, who wrote a book called Girl Dad and she talked about stories and the impact her dad had on her.
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: And you know, one of my favorite things I do with my daughter Riley is rebound for her.
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: It's like our thing.
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: It's like I gotta go out and when you know if she's not shooting as well as she wants, I get to work on mindset.
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: If she's shooting a well, I can keep positive.
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: Like we make it fun.
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: It's our a chance to talk, ask questions and learn more about what's going on in school.
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: And you know, create like these moments of like, all right, three, two state championship, what about to win it?
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: You know like these.
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: You know making it fun but competitive and but like like.
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: That's our thing.
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: There's things that my son and I do.
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: You know a lot of things we do, whether it's hockey, fantasy football, playing golf, you know.
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: So I think, as you're saying, that there's times where I've interviewed other dads where they did not have a dad at all and they became a way better parent because of that.
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: As you think about your journey, sonny, like not having a dad growing up, how much does that played into you?
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: Like being a more present, hands on mom?
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: And then, maybe that's first question the second question would be like how did your experience without a dad impact, like your marriage, to make sure that, like you were ever passed in judgment, your husband making sure he was doing the best he could do?
• 27:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so.
• 27:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: So it's interesting with my husband.
• 27:54
  Speaker 3: I almost think it raised the bar a bit right, fairly or unfairly.
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: You know you can look at it both ways, but I think for my husband it was really about like there's certain elements that we have where it is.
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: You know, I love to go in and say prayers with my boys every night.
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: That's something that's important to me.
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: I haven't always been the present in-house parent, and what I mean by that is for the first 10, 12 years 12 years of my career I launched into this career.
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: Promotion after promotion had this incredibly successful trajectory, and that required me to be on a plane, sometimes four or five days a week, and so that really threw a strange dynamic into our family, and my husband was used to a mom who was a stay-at-home mom.
• 28:46
  Speaker 3: His dad went out and worked, sometimes multiple jobs, and so he had that traditional idea of what a mom, what a wife, did and I throw tradition out the window.
• 28:59
  Speaker 3: You know it's like I am an incredibly ambitious, incredibly driven woman, and so he gave space for that growth, and it was originally when I took this first role, I'm like we talked about it.
• 29:13
  Speaker 3: We sat down.
• 29:13
  Speaker 3: I said, oh my gosh, this is gonna be some travel.
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: I'm not sure what this is gonna look like.
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: They tell me it's a road warrior job and he said, okay, well, do it for a year.
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: So you know, buff up your resume, it'll do great things for you.
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: Then you can come back and work locally, and that was the idea.
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: Fast forward 10 years and you know, an amazing career, but gone a lot, that doesn't I mean.
• 29:37
  Speaker 3: So he had to do a lot of the mom and dad like role here in the house, and I know that wasn't always easy for him, and I'm sure there were a lot of times where he resented me for it.
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: And so I think that's where it's like you have to understand those dynamics in a relationship both as parents and then almost a little separately, as being married to one another.
• 29:56
  Speaker 3: And what does that kind of respect look like?
• 29:59
  Speaker 3: And so that I think that, even through some interesting elements into our marriage over the years, that didn't mean that I wasn't present with my kids, right, so it may be, I'm, you know, doing FaceTime with my kids while they're reading or doing a report, because that part was still important to me, but I wasn't always here with them, and so that did add more work onto my husband's back.
• 30:25
  Speaker 3: Fast forward to a year and a half ago.
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: I left the corporate world, started my own company, and so I've really kind of had that entrepreneurial life where I have the flexibility, I have the ability to make my schedule now, and so for him, in my dad not overly being present throughout, growing up like I had this idea of what I wanted him to be as a dad right, these are my issues.
• 30:50
  Speaker 3: These are things that I cast upon him, probably unknowingly, but it's like well, did you go in and say goodnight?
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: What do you mean?
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: You didn't Like.
• 30:57
  Speaker 3: Why wouldn't you go say goodnight In my mind, like you're in the same house, well, I mean, I said goodnight as we were all going upstairs, but she didn't go in, and so it's just these different little things like that, maybe, as I was a kid, like there was nobody coming in saying goodnight, right, cause my mom was working multiple jobs.
• 31:19
  Speaker 3: My brother was almost seven years older, so he had his life and the things that he was doing and he was an athlete, and so there are some things that, just as a kid, I felt incredibly lonely and I think that I that's still kind of somewhere in the air of our lives is like I want to make sure that my kids feel loved and secure and safe and that both parents are here.
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: So I think you know, unfairly, I think that bar was raised on my husband and at the same time, my husband's an amazing father, truly amazing guy has the ability to make us feel loved and secure and, at the same time, like he's a man's man.
• 32:01
  Speaker 3: He loves his secours and whiskey, he goes in place poker, he loves football and this man he can fix anything.
• 32:12
  Speaker 3: Like he can fix anything.
• 32:15
  Speaker 3: He's got so many talents and so what's been interesting is the dynamic sometimes a really strong, driven woman and really a strong man's man.
• 32:27
  Speaker 3: Like there have been collisions at times right, where I had to say, okay, it's my responsibility as a wife to say I need to give, may not come out right, but like I need to step back a minute right.
• 32:43
  Speaker 3: I need to let my husband feel like he's leading the family Cause he really is the leader of our family, but because I have been the breadwinner for a lot of years, I've had, you know, this really big, exciting career.
• 32:55
  Speaker 3: I think sometimes that can be demasculating and that's never what I want, because as much as I am all about female and women empowerment, I am also about respecting and honoring my husband who leads our family.
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: Well, as you, as you said, he's a man's.
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: Man can fix anything.
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: Those that know me are probably laughing hysterically right now because I am the world's least handyman.
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: Um, now, I'm a great, I'm a great secondhand.
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: So, like your husband would love me because I'm like a great, I'm like I got you, I got what do you need, phillips?
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: Boom, I'm on it.
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: Fata, I got you.
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: Uh, I just my mind doesn't work that, I don't see it.
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: But like my buddy Steve and I, we, we recently, um, did some watch work at our house and it was so fun.
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: I just not my jam, you know.
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: And like my wife, she can fix a lot of stuff.
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: My father-in-law, bruce, he is like MacGyver, he can fix everything.
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: My dad, like my dad, had more tools at the house.
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: I don't think he knew what the half half, half half, what they did, like he just wanted to fit in with the neighborhood, Like why better get a better, get a wrench too, you know.
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: But like my go-to like sarcasm was like well, how many people can you speak in front of?
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: What are the words Can you type for a minute?
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: You know, just being sarcastic.
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: But like, again, I got no ego with that, I can make fun of myself and realize that it you know for my friends that wanted po-fund they do, but but they still like me as a buddy.
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: Right, exactly.
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: Um well, I love, I love that you.
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: So one thing that, when you're saying that, you made me think what was the tipping point that said I'm done, I'm done working, I mean I'm done traveling and I want to be home.
• 34:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, um, I think, after that many years of being gone, um, you know, I used to have all these justifications I'd make, right In my own mind, to my husband, to my family, um, and it just got to a point where I I didn't enjoy it like I did in the past, you know, and oftentimes, I think, in a traveling role and and as you're growing your career, people can glamorize it Right, and at the end of the day, like you're still in a different hotel every night, you're still on plane after plane after plane.
• 35:04
  Speaker 3: And it got to a point where, like, my son was a freshman in high school and he was really struggling at the time and so we had thought about, okay, we're going to do online schooling and, and he had had a rough couple of years.
• 35:16
  Speaker 3: He had experienced kind of some bullying things, and it was this like bubbling up in me that if I've ever chose a time where it's more important to be home, like it's now, you know, come combine that with um.
• 35:30
  Speaker 3: I was running a national hospice company 40 something locations.
• 35:34
  Speaker 3: We did 33 acquisitions inside of three and a half years.
• 35:37
  Speaker 3: I mean it was.
• 35:40
  Speaker 3: It was unbelievable amount of work and travel and, just you know, decision fatigue and travel fatigue and I thought, if I'm ever going to step away, why not do it now?
• 35:51
  Speaker 3: I had a year non-compete and so I thought you know, worst case scenario, um, I can do business in the States that don't overlap right.
• 35:59
  Speaker 3: I've, I'm an expert at what I do, I'm an M&A whiz Like I.
• 36:04
  Speaker 3: There is something I could do with this and so kind of gave it some thought, gave a three month notice with work and kind of helped them get set up for me to exit and then started doing hospice, consulting, executive coaching, keynote speaking, and then really kind of found this really like what a sweet spot I guess in my life and my career, probably more balanced than I've ever had.
• 36:28
  Speaker 3: I'm here for every football practice.
• 36:30
  Speaker 3: I mean, I may miss a few here and there if I'm traveling, but I get to travel when I want to.
• 36:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 36:37
  Speaker 3: I determine how much money it's going to take to get me to travel.
• 36:39
  Speaker 3: I decide who I want to work with.
• 36:41
  Speaker 3: I mean it's a.
• 36:42
  Speaker 3: It's a much different life than it was a year and a half ago.
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: How that decision point, um, as relating to your, your kids.
• 36:52
  Speaker 2: Do you do you talk about, like, the learning you've had as a, um, that journey Cause I know what, I know what you, what you just talked about, I I've I've been through, not from mom's perspective but dad's perspective of, like leaving corporate and knowing what you know, being home and um, but like, do your, your kids understand what mom does now?
• 37:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
• 37:15
  Speaker 3: And they're, they're so glad.
• 37:17
  Speaker 3: I mean, what's interesting is going back to being gone all the time.
• 37:21
  Speaker 3: My kids would just say, you know, especially my younger one, be like mom, do you, do you have to leave this week?
• 37:27
  Speaker 3: Like, can you just please stay home this week?
• 37:29
  Speaker 3: And so, as much as they wanted me around, we had been used to not being in each other's space all the time.
• 37:36
  Speaker 3: So when I made this decision, it was a transition that we all had to make, that we were all in each other's space again, even my husband and I, although he'll say, you know, like I don't ever want you to leave, but it still took some, some time for everybody to be like, okay, we're back in each other's space.
• 37:53
  Speaker 3: And so now, if I'm gone for two days, my boys are like wait a second, what?
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: What time?
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: When?
• 37:58
  Speaker 3: When does your flight land, though?
• 37:59
  Speaker 3: You know, okay, so what?
• 38:00
  Speaker 3: And then 30 minute drive Okay, so you'll be home at.
• 38:03
  Speaker 3: And so they, they have a much greater respect for it.
• 38:05
  Speaker 3: I think today that I've been able to get to a place where this is at a really, really prime point in their life, and so, with my younger son and junior high, my older son in high school and just back in regular high school and thriving this year.
• 38:20
  Speaker 3: It was the right time.
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: Yep, Do you so when you, when you do travel, it's like kind of like a couple of days here and there, or is it like longer trips or yeah, a couple of days here and there, usually whether I'm going to speak somewhere, going to a conference, going to.
• 38:39
  Speaker 3: I was doing a fractional chief operating officer role in LA, so I'd go out like every other week for two to three days.
• 38:45
  Speaker 3: You know, that's nice because it's like a 56 minute flight, but when I have to travel the East coast went to New York city recently and it's like you, just it's more important.
• 38:55
  Speaker 3: Instead of like staying over for another night because there's going to be a dinner, I'm like I'll go ahead and take that late flight home.
• 39:01
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 39:01
  Speaker 3: Because I just want to be home.
• 39:03
  Speaker 3: And I think that's the difference is sometimes, when you're gone a lot, you don't mind not being home you know, and it's not like intentional, it just is like that.
• 39:11
  Speaker 3: That's kind of the water that you swim in.
• 39:13
  Speaker 3: So I think the intentionality of really wanting to get back home and exercising that is where I'm at.
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: Do you now?
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: What is your?
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: Does your husband?
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: Does he stay at home, dad, or does he?
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: Does he work too?
• 39:25
  Speaker 3: No, no, he's a general contractor, and so he's always worked here, local though.
• 39:29
  Speaker 3: And so he you know again, like all those years that I was traveling, he was pick up and drop off, he was dinner, he was, he was getting it all done and he still worked full time.
• 39:37
  Speaker 3: It was just happened to be here locally.
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 39:40
  Speaker 2: So for parents listening, dad's listening, maybe there's a mom listening and maybe that dad has faced dad guilt of traveling or ego involved.
• 39:51
  Speaker 2: Like I'm the breadwinner, like, like I think I think those are powerful things to talk about.
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: Like because in the end, it's a team.
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: Right, I was their breadwinner.
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: Our family still doesn't matter.
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: Doesn't make mom less important.
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: Doesn't make mom's job Her job's actually probably harder than ours.
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: On airplanes, we could watch a movie, have a whiskey, ginger on the flight, uh, where, where they're fricking doing dishes, laundry, all this stuff back and forth.
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: And so when my wife went back to work part time in um 2021, it's been awesome.
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: She still loves it and it's like it's nice cause my kids now can see hey, mom, not just to stay at home, mom, but there's nothing wrong with it.
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: That's a fricking hard job.
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: I've interviewed, stayed at home dad's but like, maybe talk about that, that journey of that.
• 40:35
  Speaker 2: Maybe there's a parent out there that's struggling with that still that we maybe can, through our stories, like, help inspire them to think, think a little bit differently and from a growth mindset perspective.
• 40:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think there had been plenty of times where I had to step back from my ego and say, get rid of the excuse of you know, I'm the breadwinner here.
• 40:57
  Speaker 3: Look, I'm the breadwinner, I travel, I do all.
• 41:01
  Speaker 3: I'm doing all this for, like, oh sis, get off your soapbox Like I had to tell myself that Because, at the same time, you know everybody's role is important.
• 41:12
  Speaker 3: And so, if you are really respecting those different roles, right, because sometimes you have to, like, put it down to the basic human element, like is respecting each other's roles and what they do, and that one is not weightier than the other.
• 41:31
  Speaker 3: Regardless of the money you're making, regardless of the career you have, everybody's role is equally as important, and it's important for people to feel that way too.
• 41:40
  Speaker 3: And so, if you're the one who's traveling a lot, you know to your point, like you're right, there are a lot of down times.
• 41:47
  Speaker 3: I'm not helping with homework.
• 41:48
  Speaker 3: If I'm in a hotel somewhere in New York City, you know I'm not the one getting laundry ready for the next day, and so there is just as much weight.
• 41:57
  Speaker 3: It's just a different type of weight.
• 41:59
  Speaker 3: And so I think, really stepping back and having those conversations because, let me tell you, resentment builds up and it will only build up so long before it becomes a tipping point.
• 42:09
  Speaker 3: And you know, there were a lot of times where I resented my husband, there were times my husband resented me and we had to really hash that out and I think that's the healthy way is to really talk through it.
• 42:20
  Speaker 3: Sometimes it comes to it, you know, a blowout because it can only like build up for so long right Before somebody feels that way.
• 42:28
  Speaker 3: But I think, like humble yourself and make sure that your partner husband, wife, whatever feels respected, feels respected in that relationship, that you are honoring what they're doing and that you wanna feel honored in what you're doing.
• 42:43
  Speaker 3: And I think being able to set ego aside, set roles aside, set whoever's more important aside and get back to that human element of being in a respectful relationship and recognizing the weight of each other's roles and honoring that, I think that we'll see you through darn near anything.
• 43:01
  Speaker 4: Intention integrity IT recruitment.
• 43:04
  Speaker 4: We are McCann Partners and I am Megan McCann, the CEO and founder.
• 43:08
  Speaker 4: Mccann Partners is a Chicago based IT recruitment firm.
• 43:12
  Speaker 4: We support a growing portfolio of innovative organizations, from Chicago based startups to companies with a global footprint.
• 43:20
  Speaker 4: We are dedicated to creating a more equitable and diverse workforce and are proud that more than 70% of our talent placements since 2020 have been diverse hires.
• 43:31
  Speaker 4: We take pride in our work and invest time to hone our skills.
• 43:35
  Speaker 4: Case in point, our work with Casey Casey helped me and my team learn new habits of success and unlock the skills we already have been using the superpowers of humility, vulnerability and curiosity.
• 43:51
  Speaker 4: If you, the listener, are curious about our experience with Casey and his impact on the team and our business, please reach out to me via LinkedIn.
• 44:03
  Speaker 2: From a football analogy.
• 44:04
  Speaker 2: I've never seen a quarterback throw the ball to himself on purpose.
• 44:07
  Speaker 2: I've never seen a quarterback block for himself.
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: I've never seen a quarterback have to do kickoff, pat.
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: I mean, that's all.
• 44:16
  Speaker 2: We have a team and the best quarterbacks around are humble.
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: They're team first, they're serving others, which I think is what a lot of what you're talking about here, sunny, and it's easy so like sarcastically, people at home when you're listening, you won't know this has happened.
• 44:32
  Speaker 2: But I had to take a break for about a minute and a half early in this podcast where I had two friendly dogs come down and join me, and my wife is usually fantastic about making sure that when I'm recording a podcast, just so we don't have to do it happen for whatever reason.
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: She decided to not let that happen and she decided to let the dogs come downstairs and I was then texting her when Sony's Sunny's talking to me.
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to actively listen, which I was, but I'm still texting a little distracted like WTF, wtf, what the F is going on, I'm getting fricking crickets.
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: So then, everybody, I actually had to take a break from the podcast and say, sunny, I'll be right back, which, again, you won't even know this happened early in the episode.
• 45:07
  Speaker 2: It did Sunny's like oh, okay, so I do it.
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: Now I have a choice, everybody.
• 45:11
  Speaker 2: I have a choice to say to light my wife up.
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: But when she woke up every morning, when she woke up today, I know she didn't say man, I can't wait until about 12, 20 to really piss my husband off and really screw this podcast up.
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: That required.
• 45:25
  Speaker 2: And, sunny, when I came back, you said I said yeah, the power of forgiveness, and you said power of grace, which are?
• 45:32
  Speaker 2: I love the word grace.
• 45:33
  Speaker 2: I love the word grace because when we remove ego and just kind of make light of the situation, it is what it is.
• 45:39
  Speaker 2: My wife's a freaking badass.
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: There's so many things she does well.
• 45:43
  Speaker 2: Did she do what she's supposed to normally do in this situation?
• 45:46
  Speaker 2: No, that's okay.
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: We make mistakes, right, I'm gonna make.
• 45:50
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna laugh about it now, because I don't want something like stupid as that to ruin the rest of our day by how I show up, you know, and the fact that I just shared that, which I don't know why, but I love that you're giggling as I'm sharing this.
• 46:03
  Speaker 2: Okay, what does it mean to be a hashtag boy mom?
• 46:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, oh gosh, you know I wanted girls.
• 46:14
  Speaker 3: I just wanted a girl so bad.
• 46:15
  Speaker 3: I was never really a girly girl and so I was so excited to have a girl and like just dress them up and lace in bows and didn't find out with my oldest what we were having and I was certain it was a girl.
• 46:29
  Speaker 3: And we ended up having the baby.
• 46:32
  Speaker 3: It's not a girl, it's a boy.
• 46:34
  Speaker 3: It was gonna be.
• 46:34
  Speaker 3: Isabella became Joshua and my world, like my world, changed in that moment and I still remember I ended up having to do I wanted nothing more than to do a natural delivery.
• 46:46
  Speaker 3: I didn't get to cord was wrapped around his neck multiple times, ended up having to go in and do a C-section, and I just wanted to.
• 46:55
  Speaker 3: After C-section, they cart you out, they separate you from your baby and all I kept thinking was when you think about mindset like my toes just needed to move.
• 47:07
  Speaker 3: That was they told me.
• 47:09
  Speaker 3: Okay, the anesthetic has to wear off enough, we just have to have you wiggle your toes.
• 47:12
  Speaker 3: And I mean with all the mental power I could muster, like I was like telling my toes to move.
• 47:19
  Speaker 3: That's all I need, all I need, all I need.
• 47:21
  Speaker 3: And I remember sitting there thinking, god, you could take me right now, like my world is complete.
• 47:30
  Speaker 3: I just had this baby boy and like all the things I've ever wanted in the world went away.
• 47:36
  Speaker 3: Like you could take me right now because everything is complete and I just I remember like I cried at the ultrasound because I, when they told me that I had a boy, I was just like ah.
• 47:47
  Speaker 3: And then all of a sudden you see this life and it's like your whole world changes and then wanted a girl.
• 47:54
  Speaker 3: Second one got another boy.
• 47:56
  Speaker 3: My mother-in-law finally said you will have a baseball team before you have a girl.
• 47:59
  Speaker 3: So just FYI.
• 48:00
  Speaker 3: So we said, okay, we're gonna, we're good with two boys.
• 48:03
  Speaker 3: And it was so interesting because I couldn't imagine being a girl mom now.
• 48:09
  Speaker 3: Like my whole life revolves around when other people's dads are out playing football with them.
• 48:14
  Speaker 3: It's me and my sons Like that's important.
• 48:18
  Speaker 3: We've always done that Whenever we're at practices, like I'm always the one throwing the ball with them.
• 48:22
  Speaker 3: I love that.
• 48:24
  Speaker 3: I love doing the things that you know and not like I touted around, but like you don't see a lot of other moms getting in on the practice and doing the things.
• 48:35
  Speaker 3: My youngest son recently tried wrestling and I will tell you, like the way that these kids wrestle and that like what they exert for two solid minutes, like they battle with everything in their soul for two minutes, and like the way you I'm in awe of my boys, like I'm just in awe of them and their strength and their character, and everything I do is to raise them to be strong, respectful men of God and I think by putting those things in them when they're young, you know they'll make their good and bad decisions along the way, but I strongly believe that the things that we've poured into them, the way that I've been a boy mom, will allow them to and encourage them to be these incredibly strong men, manly men who are also incredibly respectful.
• 49:37
  Speaker 3: And a story that I told my oldest son both boys actually recently was they're at the age where you know TMI maybe for your crowd, but girls are starting their period right In the junior high and there is nothing more mortifying than not realizing that that happened and then you become like you're humiliated.
• 50:02
  Speaker 3: There's people saying things about it.
• 50:03
  Speaker 3: So something I've told my boys is if you ever see that, if you ever see something on the back of somebody's pants or whatever, like you take off your sweater, you get somebody's jacket, you do whatever and you walk up very quietly to them and you say, hey, I just want you to wrap this around your waist, don't worry about it, and get it back later.
• 50:20
  Speaker 3: But you have something on the back of your pants.
• 50:21
  Speaker 3: You didn't say anything to anybody.
• 50:22
  Speaker 3: You know, that's it.
• 50:24
  Speaker 3: Period no drama, no anything.
• 50:27
  Speaker 3: Those subtle types of things as adolescents and young men and men will make a difference in the world.
• 50:35
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
• 50:35
  Speaker 2: Well, as a dad who has a daughter who's already experienced that TMI I'm not experienced.
• 50:43
  Speaker 2: We went through experience having the period.
• 50:44
  Speaker 2: I was actually my biggest worry as a dad you talked to my wife about this was like what happens if I'm solo with her and like what am I gonna do?
• 50:52
  Speaker 2: Right, that's not my jam, honey.
• 50:53
  Speaker 2: I don't have one of those things.
• 50:54
  Speaker 2: I don't use a tampon.
• 50:56
  Speaker 2: My buddies might argue differently, but I don't Right.
• 51:03
  Speaker 2: But thankfully it happened with my wife and there's times, but again, that's my wife and her relationship.
• 51:11
  Speaker 2: Like she knows not to call dad, but I'm here to help her if she does.
• 51:15
  Speaker 2: But I think what a great lesson to teach your boys of if that did happen.
• 51:19
  Speaker 2: That's leadership.
• 51:21
  Speaker 2: And I think about this podcast as much as it's for dads, and I hope there's a lot of dads that are hearing a mom's perspective and being open minded about some things.
• 51:29
  Speaker 2: Like we're trying to create great humans.
• 51:30
  Speaker 2: That's right.
• 51:31
  Speaker 2: We're trying to keep, as my wife says, we have 18 seasons at home and then we release them to some level of pro, whether it's college job, whatever it is and so it's like are we doing everything we can to coach them, to teach them to listen, core values, all the things that are important to become a great human being, and whether it's the door or giving someone a sweatshirt because they have blood on the back of their palm string, like, what a great I mean that would.
• 51:57
  Speaker 2: Probably some will remember that for the rest of their life.
• 52:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 52:01
  Speaker 2: You know, okay, before we, I wanna make sure we highlight the work you're doing and people are like if they wanna encourage, they wanna learn more about you and they wanna like figure out what the coaching and the speaking is.
• 52:11
  Speaker 2: But if you had to wrap up what we talked about, that in summarizing our conversation, the dads could take like actionable tasks to kind of be a better leader of their home, to be a better leader of their family, to be a better husband.
• 52:25
  Speaker 2: So tell me what comes to mind based on your experience in life so far.
• 52:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that respect amongst the household, right Be it your wife, be it your significant other, that respect of roles and responsibilities, is so incredibly important.
• 52:45
  Speaker 3: I promise you it makes for a happier household.
• 52:49
  Speaker 3: You know, when there's not that contention and there's not resentment and there's not frustration, and all that stuff is figure outable if you're willing to put forth the effort.
• 52:57
  Speaker 3: Same goes with your kids, right?
• 52:59
  Speaker 3: It's easy to fly off the handle and I do my fair share of it.
• 53:03
  Speaker 3: I always say I try not to lose my bananas, but there are days where bananas are lost.
• 53:08
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, but same thing like I.
• 53:11
  Speaker 3: You know, try to never get in some sort of argument or contention in the morning, right?
• 53:17
  Speaker 3: Nobody's day should be set off like that.
• 53:19
  Speaker 2: No.
• 53:20
  Speaker 3: So I think having that same respect when it comes to your kids, some days they don't deserve it, some days we don't deserve it.
• 53:25
  Speaker 3: But I think you know, trying to meet people in the middle and, to your point earlier, having forgiveness and grace, covers a lot.
• 53:36
  Speaker 2: Well, it's a good one.
• 53:38
  Speaker 2: I'm writing this down, taking notes.
• 53:39
  Speaker 2: Everybody hope yours well.
• 53:40
  Speaker 2: I think one of the blessings that when my wife went back to work part-time.
• 53:44
  Speaker 2: It definitely was a shake-up, but it was a mindset choice.
• 53:48
  Speaker 2: It was either I could say, hey, what the F?
• 53:50
  Speaker 2: Why are the dishes, or why is the list, or why is that?
• 53:53
  Speaker 2: I'm like.
• 53:53
  Speaker 2: But I told our kids, I said what a great opportunity, right and Riley, this is an opportunity for us to step up, because we don't have a magic carpet table I mean a magic coffee table or a magic dishwasher where it just magically gets unloaded, or a magic laundry machine where you put it in there and just spits out and hey, our clothes got folded.
• 54:08
  Speaker 2: It's magic, it's not.
• 54:09
  Speaker 2: Mom was doing it.
• 54:10
  Speaker 2: So now we're gonna step up and take this load off, mom, and I think it again doesn't matter what again, if we're a team, and I think you have to take that mindset of doing it as a team for each other.
• 54:23
  Speaker 2: So I love you said that.
• 54:26
  Speaker 2: Well, well done.
• 54:26
  Speaker 2: Tell us about your work.
• 54:28
  Speaker 2: How can people learn more about evoke greatness?
• 54:30
  Speaker 2: And if they're intrigued by what you said, they wanna spend time with you and see how your mindset can help their company.
• 54:35
  Speaker 2: How do they go about doing that?
• 54:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so I have, like I said, been in the healthcare space for 20 plus years, primarily in hospice, but I work with a lot of men and women who are in those VP or approaching those senior and executive levels, looking to continue to grow their career.
• 54:52
  Speaker 3: We work a lot on just executive presence.
• 54:56
  Speaker 3: We work a lot on mindset.
• 54:57
  Speaker 3: We work a lot on unpacking the junk that we've brought with us due to all the things that we talked about today how you grew up, the decisions that you made as a young adult, decisions you made into adulthood really unpacking some of that junk so that you really can live your best, clearest life, both personally and professionally.
• 55:16
  Speaker 3: So that's like that's really kind of a combination of the executive, coaching and the consulting side of things.
• 55:22
  Speaker 3: I go in and do fractional roles for executive leadership.
• 55:25
  Speaker 3: Like I said, I recently did a chief operating officer fractional role for six months, stepped into a company who didn't have one.
• 55:32
  Speaker 3: So do a lot of that as well.
• 55:34
  Speaker 3: And then the podcast I would love anybody to check it out evoke greatness.
• 55:38
  Speaker 3: Talk a lot about the struggles along the way.
• 55:42
  Speaker 3: Nobody ever achieves that greatness at the very peak of the mountain.
• 55:46
  Speaker 3: Rather, it's the treaching, cold, bloodied, need.
• 55:49
  Speaker 3: Journey throughout the valley is how we get there, and so share a lot of those stories.
• 55:55
  Speaker 2: And they can find the podcast on all the platforms.
• 55:57
  Speaker 3: All podcast platforms.
• 55:59
  Speaker 2: All platforms.
• 55:59
  Speaker 2: I will make sure that's linked in the show notes.
• 56:01
  Speaker 2: I'll make sure your website's linked in the show notes, your LinkedIn's linked in the show notes so people can reach out to you.
• 56:06
  Speaker 2: I never thought it'd be so much fun having women on the podcast.
• 56:09
  Speaker 2: Everybody, there you go.
• 56:11
  Speaker 3: Look at you, missing all this time.
• 56:12
  Speaker 3: I know.
• 56:13
  Speaker 2: After 230 dads, we decided what the lady's in there we go.
• 56:16
  Speaker 2: We're gonna go back to dads next week everybody.
• 56:18
  Speaker 2: But you never know, maybe there'll be another mom or a group and I kind of maybe we'll go this like month at a time to kind of shake it up.
• 56:24
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 56:24
  Speaker 2: The good news is I'm the boss, but you're the audience.
• 56:27
  Speaker 2: So if you have feedback for us, everybody, send me a note through LinkedIn or through my website at kcjcarchscom.
• 56:33
  Speaker 2: It's now, I know we gotta get ready to jump so you can get to practice, to go pick up the boys, but it's now time for the lightning round.
• 56:39
  Speaker 2: I don't have any questions prepared.
• 56:41
  Speaker 2: My job is, your job is to answer these questions as quickly as you can.
• 56:46
  Speaker 2: My job is to show you the negative effects of taking too many hits in college not long hits, but football hits, and your job, and my job also, is to try to get a giggle out of you.
• 56:55
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 56:56
  Speaker 2: Okay, are you ready?
• 56:57
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 56:58
  Speaker 2: Okay, true or false?
• 56:59
  Speaker 2: Your favorite place trips open right 334,.
• 57:01
  Speaker 2: You have Z post X.
• 57:02
  Speaker 2: Stop Z, waggle on two.
• 57:04
  Speaker 3: What Come?
• 57:06
  Speaker 2: on, I thought you were a boy.
• 57:08
  Speaker 2: Mom, I'm talking football language.
• 57:10
  Speaker 3: My brain was just like all I saw was favorite trip Aruba.
• 57:14
  Speaker 3: Wait what?
• 57:16
  Speaker 2: If everybody, this is a video podcast, it's audio podcast Lane.
• 57:18
  Speaker 2: But if you could have seen Sunny's face when I dropped football like straight play from college, that there was a blank like what the F to he to say, but we both giggle, that was a real play.
• 57:26
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 57:28
  Speaker 2: Believe it or not?
• 57:29
  Speaker 3: Okay, tell me the last book you read Ooh Be Seen by Jen Gottlieb.
• 57:36
  Speaker 2: Okay, tell me the last movie you watched.
• 57:39
  Speaker 3: Hmm, the equalizer.
• 57:42
  Speaker 2: Okay, favorite comedy movie of all time.
• 57:46
  Speaker 3: Oh, hangover the good ones, classic.
• 57:51
  Speaker 2: True or false, I can play Stu's song on the guitar.
• 57:54
  Speaker 2: True.
• 57:56
  Speaker 2: What do you tag a dream of when a tick, a little tag Stu's that true story.
• 58:02
  Speaker 2: I can play that.
• 58:02
  Speaker 2: Everybody doesn't know what that is.
• 58:05
  Speaker 2: Check it out.
• 58:05
  Speaker 2: It's a true story and after about four beers I'm really really good at that song oh, you're getting better.
• 58:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, it's self.
• 58:11
  Speaker 2: Obviously I'm gonna go to it for myself.
• 58:14
  Speaker 2: If we went into your phone and we played music, what would be the one song your boys be like?
• 58:18
  Speaker 2: What mom you listen to that?
• 58:21
  Speaker 3: I blast like Christian worship all the time, so there wouldn't be anything surprising to them Nice.
• 58:27
  Speaker 2: More of that, no crazy Actually there is.
• 58:31
  Speaker 3: There's probably like somewhere in there, tupac Snoop, just from good old hip hop, yeah, so there is embedded somewhere in there.
• 58:39
  Speaker 2: Solid.
• 58:39
  Speaker 2: If I was to come to your house for dinner, what would your family make me?
• 58:45
  Speaker 3: We like burritos of all forms.
• 58:47
  Speaker 3: We will take anything and put it in a burrito wrap, like that's hashtag.
• 58:52
  Speaker 3: Boy, mom, you wrap anything in a tortilla and they'll eat it.
• 58:55
  Speaker 3: But yeah, like last night, we had steak and mashed potatoes and broccoli.
• 59:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, my 15 year old.
• 59:03
  Speaker 3: Fun fact my 15 year old actually loves to cook.
• 59:05
  Speaker 3: Oh, wow.
• 59:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 59:08
  Speaker 2: So what would you call it?
• 59:09
  Speaker 2: If you had a steak baked potato broccoli burrito, what would that be called the Lime Burger?
• 59:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there we go.
• 59:17
  Speaker 2: I just laughed at my own joke.
• 59:20
  Speaker 2: That's so bad.
• 59:21
  Speaker 2: Okay, If you were to go on vacation with your husband, just you guys right now, where are you going?
• 59:29
  Speaker 3: Italy.
• 59:30
  Speaker 2: We're at an Italy.
• 59:32
  Speaker 3: All over Tuscany.
• 59:34
  Speaker 2: I've been to Venice once.
• 59:35
  Speaker 2: It was unbelievable.
• 59:36
  Speaker 2: Such a good, fun place to go, excellent, okay, if there was to be a book written about your life, tell me the title.
• 59:43
  Speaker 3: Evoke Greatness.
• 59:45
  Speaker 2: There we go Now.
• 59:46
  Speaker 2: Sunny Evoke Greatness is killing it.
• 59:48
  Speaker 2: It's in all the bookstores, it's organically growing.
• 59:50
  Speaker 2: We've got no PR firm, it's just all growing by itself.
• 59:54
  Speaker 2: And now Netflix, hulu, all these movies companies are fighting for it.
• 59:59
  Speaker 2: And you are now the casting director.
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 2: I need to know who's gonna star Sunny in this critically acclaimed new hit movie.
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 3: Oh, let's go, Jennifer Lawrence.
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 2: Mm.
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 3: okay, she's cute, but she is funny Like she, and she can make fun of herself Like oh yeah, her all day.
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 2: I thought you were gonna say Jennifer Aniston at first, but you went Jennifer Lawrence.
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 3: Well, I'll take Jennifer Aniston too, but I love Jennifer Lawrence.
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 2: Okay, and then last question Tell me two words to describe her husband.
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 3: Oh, passionate and manly.
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 2: There we go.
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 2: Lighting around is complete.
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 2: We both giggled.
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 2: I think I giggled more on my own jokes, which probably means I lose.
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 2: But, sunny, I wanna say thank you so much for joining the four other fantastic women to make their presence on the quarterback die cast.
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 2: Dads, I appreciate you hanging in there with us and I hope you learned a lot.
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 2: It's nice hearing things from a mom's perspective and I definitely took away a lot of.
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 2: I get two pages of notes.
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 2: If you did not take notes from us to this episode, I highly recommend you do so, because that's how we learn, you learn, you listen, you write it down and it goes into the subconscious.
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 2: That's how we start retaining this knowledge.
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 2: I wanna thank our sponsors.
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 2: We're still going through some sponsorship growth.
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 2: I give a huge shout out to my friends at Latitude Sick For being with me for four years, but we're gonna take a little break.
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 2: But if you do wanna go up to Sick, I still give them some love and so go check out Latitude Sick.
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 2: That's because they are a fantastic, fantastic place.
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 2: I've been there.
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 2: It's so much fun.
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 2: Sunny, thank you so much for your time.
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 2: It's been an honor spending it with you.
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 2: I love learning about your story, appreciate that's the vulnerability and growth mindset tactics you've taught all of us.
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 2: So thank you so much.
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 3: It's been my pleasure.