Latest / Untraditionally Lala / BONUS: California Cryobank with Sydney Sharon

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BONUS: California Cryobank with Sydney Sharon · Untraditionally Lala

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: As some of you have seen, I have partnered with
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: the California Cryobank. In teaming up with them, my hope
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: is to share and normalize the different ways of bringing
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: children into the world. My conversation with Sidney Sharon, who
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: is an expert in this space from the California Cryobank,
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: will do just that. I am proud of my partnership
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: with California Cryobank, and I hope you enjoy. Hello, my loves,
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the bonus episode of the Give Them Lalla Podcast.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: I am so excited today because you guys know that
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: the only thing on my mind right now is babies
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: and sperm. Bab babies and sperm and women. They go
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: hand and hand all three of those things when you
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: combine them. I have Sidney, who is representing the California
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: Cryobank and the California Cryobank. If you guys have been
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: watching vander Pump Rules, they are who made all of
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: my baby making come true and really the reason why
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: I'm sitting here just over twenty weeks pregnant, sorry whoa
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: with my second daughter. So I'm so happy to have
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: you here. Sidney. I'm gonna let you really drive this
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: bus because I may be sobbing and I'm just really
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: excited to have you here. So thank you for making
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  Speaker 1: time for us.
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  Speaker 2: Of course we're so excited for you.
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: Everybody at California Cryobank is team Laala and this pod
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: growing and I'm like, I've chills hearing you speak. So yeah,
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: I'm here representing California Cryobank. A little bit about me.
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: I've been here for with the with the company for
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: three years, but I'm also a California Cryobank mama. I
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: have three of my own beautiful donor conceived babies. I've done,
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: I've done what you've done. I've done the IUI, I
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: know what that's like. I did IVF on my last
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  Speaker 3: so I know I know personally that walk and choosing
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: a donor and choosing the bank and the fertility clinic,
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: and it's a lot.
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  Speaker 1: It is a lot, and very different than the first,
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: you know, conception of my daughter that was very like
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: cookie cutter and just like let's go back to the basic. Ye.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: This experience was very different. I know most people wouldn't
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: think of Lala and go she seems like a woman
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: of God. But I prayed about this a lot and
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: I started this conversation about getting a donor when Ocean
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  Speaker 1: was literally eight months old, sitting in my apartment kitchen
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  Speaker 1: with my mom, and we both were like, there's no
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: other version. And then just randomly, because this is how
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: the universe works, my friend and I won't say their names.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: I'm sure they'll come out with their really amazing journey
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: at some point. But I was at my friend's show
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: and her friend comes out to me and she's like,
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: how are you doing? And I was like, I'm so good.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: She asked about Ocean. She was like, we're so excited
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: to have kids. We just secured our donor and I
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: was like stop yep. I was like, where did you go?
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: And she said, California Cryobank. We were dealing. We've been
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: dealing with the most incredible staff. They have babied us
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: the entire way. They showed me their donor. He is
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: indeed hot. He was very good looking. I said, good
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: for you, girl, and I said, can you please put
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: me in touch with him? I really want to start
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: the process of securing my donor. Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: I think we hear this a lot, the amount of
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: people that are connected to California Cryobank and I think
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  Speaker 3: the name is a little misleading because we're not just
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: in California. We shipped to all fifty states in over
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  Speaker 3: forty countries, so we're really an internationally known We are
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  Speaker 3: the number one sperm.
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  Speaker 2: Bank in the US. We are the place. We're number one.
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  Speaker 1: So I was extremely thrilled the moment I heard your
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: guys's name. Met with Brian, who you all have seen
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: on Vanner Pump Rules.
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  Speaker 2: He's magic, He's magic.
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  Speaker 1: And then obviously I was doing my own research on
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: this side because I know other women who have gone
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: this route and used other banks. But I was like, this,
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  Speaker 1: this is the place, this is my bank.
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  Speaker 3: So how did how did I know? You said you
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  Speaker 3: started thinking about this when ocean was eight months old.
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  Speaker 3: How did you connect I want to use a donor?
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  Speaker 3: How did you know you were ready?
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  Speaker 2: How did you know?
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  Speaker 3: Okay, now is the time? Was it that conversation when
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: were like, the universe is telling me something.
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  Speaker 1: So for your first question, I did not have a
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: pleasant experience. Have not been having a pleasant experience having
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: a co parent. I do not like sharing. Some people
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: call that selfish. I say, walk a day in my
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: shoes and you will probably be feeling the exact same way,
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  Speaker 1: and I just knew that I wanted a baby to
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  Speaker 1: just be in my house all the time, you know,
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: the way that I grew up. I woke up on
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: Christmas morning with both of my parents and because I
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: just felt like, in this day and age, it's really
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  Speaker 1: a fifty to fifty chance that it's going to work
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: out with your partner, and I'm willing to put my
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: heart on the line all day every day. What I'm
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: not willing to do is put my child on the
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: line and just toss up a coin and say, I
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: may be able to see you every day, but I
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: may have to share you on Christmas and your birthday
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: and every other holiday. It just doesn't work for me, yea.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: So that was the reason behind saying And I also
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: loved being pregnant because there was absolutely talks about like,
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: well maybe I adopt and I give you a child
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: a really beautiful life, and that's still on the table.
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  Speaker 1: I want many children, but I really just enjoyed being
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: pregnant and was like I want to experience that moment again.
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  Speaker 1: So the donor route was just like a no brainer.
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  Speaker 1: We knew that that's what we were going to do.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: The other part and knowing that the timing was right
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: was I knew that I wanted them to be close
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  Speaker 1: in age this baby in ocean, and it just felt,
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  Speaker 1: I believe in, just like my gut speaking to me,
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: although it has led me wrong in many occasions. With this,
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  Speaker 1: I'm like the stars just seem to align. The conversation
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: with my friend who placed California Cryo Bank in front
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: of me, the many conversations I had with Brian, and
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: then just the easiness of like finding my fertility specialist
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: and getting the sperm from point A to point B
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: and let us know when you're ovulating. Oh you are,
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: let's do it. It just was like it just felt
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  Speaker 1: so effortless and right, and I just kind of let
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: the universe guide me.
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: Did you have any fears going into this personally?
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  Speaker 1: No, I felt very, very very solid in my decision
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  Speaker 1: to do this with a donor.
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: Yea.
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  Speaker 1: My fears come from overthinking, and maybe I'm not overthinking.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: Maybe I'm just a regular mom. When this baby comes
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  Speaker 1: into the world, you know, she may be the type
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: who has a lot of questions, you know, and I'm
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: ready and willing to answer those questions. My biggest hope
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: is that my child doesn't look at me like I
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: robbed them of something, if that makes sense. Likely you
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: chose to have me with a donor because you didn't
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: want to share me those questions. I fear a lot, yeah,
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  Speaker 1: But I just hope that if those questions come up
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: in those moments, that I'll have the tools to, you know,
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: make my daughter feel special and loved and for her
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: to know that like I wanted you so so badly,
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: so badly that like, no, I didn't want to freaking share. Well.
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: I think you said it so beautifully.
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: Was it last night's episode where you said, like love
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  Speaker 3: is love, That's all it takes to make your family.
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  Speaker 2: That's all you need.
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  Speaker 3: And you stay honest and you stay open, and you
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: stay fluid. I mean, you're a mom. You know that
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  Speaker 3: we don't get a manual when our kids are born.
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  Speaker 2: I'd love one.
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  Speaker 3: I'd love one, even if it comes a little late,
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  Speaker 3: but we really don't get one. And you have to
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  Speaker 3: figure it out based on your kid, and each one's different,
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  Speaker 3: no matter how they came into this world. Every kid
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  Speaker 3: needs something different. And if you come across a manual,
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: let me know, I'll.
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: Hunt it to you. And I when I said that.
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  Speaker 1: You know, for us, we live in Los Angeles, California,
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  Speaker 1: a very progressive place. I travel to other places that
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: are very progressive, and for me, when I have people
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: who I look at and go, oh, we are just
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: not on the same page at all, They're like, well,
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  Speaker 1: what about this baby not having a I'm like, well,
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: I know plenty of people who it's two moms, two dads,
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: single moms and the dad's kind of not that great?
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: Are the moms really not that great? And you know what,
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: We're just resilient and we roll with the punches. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: there's no sure thing I could go out and find
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  Speaker 1: a father to have a baby with. There's no guarantee
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  Speaker 1: that that's gonna be a perfect pretty picture.
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  Speaker 3: No, you follow your heart, you follow your gut. Yes,
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  Speaker 3: California Croyodbank is here to make that happen.
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  Speaker 1: Amen. Amen.
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  Speaker 2: So I think one of the.
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: Things that we get asked a lot and that we're
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: trying to figure out and navigate is this pursuing parenthood
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  Speaker 3: on your own in terms of the vernacular. Is it
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: single motherhood by choice? Is it really a choice? I
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: think you actually have a very unique perspective that you
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: bring to this. I've spoken to other moms who said
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: it wasn't really a choice. My choice, if I had
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: my magic would be I'd have, you know, a partner,
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: and I'd.
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  Speaker 2: Get to do this with him. So it wasn't really
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  Speaker 2: a choice.
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  Speaker 3: And then I recently learned of this phrase of pursuing
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: parenthood on your own? What are you calling your journey?
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  Speaker 3: What are you considering yourself?
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: Anything? Resonate?
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  Speaker 1: Can you give me an example of what other people
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: are calling themselves?
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  Speaker 2: Are you a single mother? Are you a single mother
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: by choice? Okay? Pursuing parenthood on your own? Is I
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: think that?
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  Speaker 1: I think with ocean It, I would be called a
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: single parent, and with this baby, I would be pursuing
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: parenthood on my own because it's really all I want,
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: you know. I I literally actively when I'm out like dating,
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: I'm like, this will be a great partnership. But if
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: you want children, I recommend you go find somebody to
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: do that with and I'll be here when you're ready.
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: If you will not live with me, we will not
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: share children. So I think that that would best describe
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: me parenting with this child.
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, awesome, love it.
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: I had to ask because it's one of our top
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: questions that either gets asked or that we are asked
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: about from our families who are doing it that way.
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: And I think it really you're bringing such a light
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: and empowerment to this conversation that I just wanted a
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: sneak peek. I love the question amazing what questions or concerns?
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: I know you just knew California cryobank was the one.
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: Did you have any questions or concerns? Did you look elsewhere?
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  Speaker 2: Like? How did you know it?
• 11:39
  Speaker 4: Was it?
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: Because your friend said, so, what was it when you
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: went to cryobank dot com that had you go, oh, no,
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: for sure, this is the place for me.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: It wasn't just I think the biggest thing was that
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: there was a personal connection with my friend that came
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: to you guys. The other thing was not only you know,
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: you get to googling, and it did pop up very
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: often that you guys were the number one cryo bank
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: in the US, and it was like, well, that really
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: speaks to me. But then when I started dealing with
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: Brian and just the way I was being treated, I
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: didn't feel like, I think it's about what seventy five
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: thousand families that you guys have helped worldwide. I didn't
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: feel like just another part of the seventy five thousand.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: I felt like I was one of one. And it
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: was just like him talking, and I know it's a
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: very strange thing for people when he started walking me
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: through like the donor pages and the catalog, and it
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: was like, you know, some people care about this rather
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: than this. You have to decide what you really really
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: care about. And I think that's where it's very fun. Yes,
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: you know, we had the donor party. I was like,
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: this is so fun. I'm like handing out and so
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: many people were but this guy, I think it was
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: my mother. This guy loves to cook. I'm like, we're
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: not shopping for the.
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: Man, y'all.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: Doesn't matter if he likes to cook. We can hope
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: that that comes through in the baby though. So I
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: appreciate you pointing out that the donor likes to cook.
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: But he had a way of making it feel like
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: I wasn't alone, you know, because I talk about this often.
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: The conception of ocean was very well thought out. It
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: was a conversation, a beautiful conversation that we are going
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: to start a family, me choosing this route that conversation
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: doesn't exist, So where do I turn? Well, I turned
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: to my mom, I turned to my brother, But then
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: the people who are on the other end, who are
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: actually facilitating this, I was also leaning in on. So
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: it felt very warm to me.
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: I think that's one of the things that makes us
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: so special is our dedicated service client services team. I
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: always use the word magic. I don't know another word
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: for Brad and his team at all, both personally and professionally.
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: I was a family with them before I started working here,
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: and they will hold your hand as little or as
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: much as you want. Right, it is catered to you.
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: It is about you. It's not about everybody else. This
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: is what do you want? And figuring out what do
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: you want?
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: Where did you start? What were important to you, what
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: wasn't important to you.
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: I would say that looks were the lowest on the
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: totem pole, in the sense of like, I wasn't walking
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: in being like I want a supermodel of a man.
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: I really wanted, humor I wanted and I didn't want
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: to see adult photos that made it too personal for me.
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: So the child's photos were great. And I also and
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: I know that genetics are fickle. You know, like two
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: kids could come from the exact same mom and dad
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: and look totally different. Like, I got that, but I
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: wanted to eliminate as much hardship as I bought. The
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: world is hard enough as it is. I don't need
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: to make it harder. So I did look at physical
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: appearance in the sense that I want this baby to
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: resemble the family.
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, totally.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: You know, they've already got to explain why there's not
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: a dad in the picture. I don't need them to
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: be like, and this is why I look different, which
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: could never come up. Yeah, this is the overthinking of
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: a mom.
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: So I would say those and just speaking to me
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: like I knew. I knew that I had my donor
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: because the poeman song he had chosen in his profile
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: had to do with the ocean. His favorite animal was
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: a lion. He talked about things that I could relate to.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: And I also not saying that intelligence was not important
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: to me, but I shocker did not go to Harvard.
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, if this, if the donor I choose
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: is like a brain surgeon and my child comes out
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: very smart, I'm not going to really be able to
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: keep up, you know, or incubate, incubate, the brilliant brain.
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't even know what to do with.
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: It, honestly, that's larious.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: Those are the things I kind of looked at. And
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: the moment that this donor came into the picture, it
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: was wild because I had three that I was like,
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: really torn. But when I had my donor party, we
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: all were like, this is like a no brainer. Why
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: are we even talking about this anymore? We all say
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: yes to this one, and I was like, oh my gosh,
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: the stars have a line.
• 16:35
  Speaker 4: It was.
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: It was really cool watching and seeing those little tidbits
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: come out of our donor profiles and watching our families
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: pair up with these donors is such a cool experience,
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: and it's so different for everybody working with someone right now,
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: adult photos are almost a requirement for them. So we
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: also have these features where you can hear the donor's
• 16:57
  Speaker 3: voice I profiles.
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: Oh I heard the and the voice was hitten.
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: That's how I, my wife and I felt about our donor.
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: I was like, who's this? Me and my wife?
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: Who is this?
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: Who is this?
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: But there's some people that don't want to listen to
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: the voice because that makes it too personal.
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: See this is not one size fits all.
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: Oh, absolutely not.
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: And I think that also goes back to our client
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: services team. We know it's not one size fits all.
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: So what works for you is not going to work
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: for someone else, right. We work with families who have
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: multiple you know, like their sister will come to us
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: or their brother will come to us, and they don't
• 17:35
  Speaker 3: do the same thing, and they're related in the same family,
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: both needing donor sperm, and it's just it's so personalized
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: and individualized, and we try to cater to as many
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: of our families as possible. We want to be able
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: to help everybody, and we need a donor catalog that
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: fits all of our families, the seventy five thousand plus worldwide.
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: We need that diversity because everybody is looking for something different.
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: Of course, it's it's it's just so juicy.
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: We had somebody who listened to all of the conversations
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: available from all of our donors. She listened to it
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: like it was a podcast.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: Oh I love that.
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: I love that I had to share that here.
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: That's a genius and people are people are creative, and
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: that's how she like kind of like fell in love
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: with who this other person could be and like, would
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: she want to go get coffee with them and just
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: keep talking to them?
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: And I'm like that, should I have done that? Did I?
• 18:32
  Speaker 4: Did?
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: I do mine wrong?
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: Not at all.
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: Ons are perfect and beautiful and I would never change
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: what I did. But it's so cool listening to how
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: people have evolved over these years and figuring out what
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: they're that fit is right. So when you started this
• 18:49
  Speaker 3: journey and you knew, okay, we're hit and play, did
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: you know what kind of procedure you were doing? Did
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: you have like if I had a magic wand I
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: would want it to go this way.
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: I I knew right off the bat that we were
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: doing IUI okay, and I knew that because I did
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: not have a hard time getting pregnant with Ocean. It
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: was actually very easy. And I know that that is
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: not everyone's story, and I feel very grateful and it
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: is not lost on me that that is not normal.
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: So we did IUI, and and my fertility specialists did
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: try to say, are you sure you don't want to
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: do IVF just for safety measures, and I said, let's
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: try this and if it does not take the first time,
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: then then we can venture into what you're saying, because
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: I know you're the doctor and you've seen a lot
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: of cases, and I'm not trying to shit all over
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: what you're saying. I know you're the genius, but let's
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: just try it the first time, you know, no pressure.
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: But I was prepared. I was prepared to do the
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: whole egg retrieval, create the embryos, and I was not
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: opposed to it. But I knew that we were going
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: the initial was going to.
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: Be iui okay, And that two week wait, what was
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: that like?
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: Going back? You just saying that the elephant went back
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: on my chest and I felt like I was going
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: to vomit. In fact, I had thought of this entire
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: plan about where I was gonna find out. It was
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: gonna be in Palm Springs right before Christmas. And then
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: it hit me like, it's not one hundred percent that
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: you're going to get a positive girl, so let's reel
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: it in. And I actually took it late at night
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: on December twenty second, while my little brother slept and
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: my mother cleaned up the kitchen because I wanted no pressure. Yeah,
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: the apartment was a bomb because we knew we were
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: going to be moving, and I took it right there,
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: and when it popped up double lines, I was like,
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: there's no way. In fact, I emptied the box, just
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: peeing on stick after stick because I'm like, there's no way.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: My doctor told me, please don't feel defeated if it
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: doesn't take the first time, because I was like, Ocean
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: was super easy. I feel great about it, and he's like, okay,
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: but you're also older now, not much, but you are yep,
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: and it could take five to seven times, and I
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: don't want you to feel like we're not going to
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: get you pregnant. I want you to keep the faith
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: and keep the hope. And I was like, just I
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: just sat there and stared at it, and I'm a
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: weird Do I keep my peace sticks? I still have Oceans?
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: I love that you should put it in like a
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: shadow box.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: I should.
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, Ocean, You're not the only one that share
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: that keeps them.
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: I can't imagine that. I am no, Yeah, Ocean has
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: one piece stick. This baby girl has like twelve piece sticks.
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: Because I'm like it just wow, that feeling of it worked.
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah for me. I had a split moment of like, wait,
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: is this what I want? What did I just commit
• 21:50
  Speaker 3: myself to OK. But I didn't have that moment, and
• 21:53
  Speaker 3: like ours, was very intentional. My wife and I had
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: to like make the choice of yes, we're ready, Yes
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: this is our investment, this is our and then once
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: that baby takes their first breath, your life is changed forever.
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: And you know, my wife and I joke about it
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: all the time. We got married and not a whole
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: lot changed except my last name, and we started filing
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: taxes jointly.
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: Right, that's nothing changed.
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: That baby took her first breath. My life has never
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: been the same and it will never be the same.
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: So you see those two pink lines. Oh, actually I
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: never peed on a stick. Oh, I was way too scared.
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: I didn't want a false positive. I didn't want a
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: false negative. I was like, do the blood test my blood,
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: let me know for sure.
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: Like you went straight to the gynecologist, you mean I.
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: I went straight to my fertility clinic. And I said, okay,
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: oh my god, that call Hi.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: This is Sydney.
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: It's been fourteen days since you know the thing, and
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: I haven't got my you know what. It hasn't come yet.
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: And I don't want to say it out loud because
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: I don't want to jinx it and they said, you're
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: not the only person that calls and says it like that, right.
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: I didn't want to say that I didn't get my
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: period yet because I didn't.
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: Want you I want to call it x it right.
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: And they said, we'll order you a blood test and
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: we'll let you know later that day.
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: It's no, it's wild. It's wild. And I that's why
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: I took so many. And because it was the twenty
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: second we were leaving for Palm Springs for Christmas, I
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: had to wait to get into my fertility specialists when
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: we returned, and so I was freaking. I did not
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: take it seriously until that appointment. I was like, you
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: know what, I'm just gonna pretend. It's not like I
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: drink or anything. So it's not like I was getting
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: buck wild. It's like I'm always pregnant. So I'm just
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: gonna pretend like I'm not pregnant. And maybe it's right,
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: maybe it's wrong, and we'll get to the fertility specialist
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: and they'll give us a one hundred or not.
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: So the two week waight, was that elephant on your chest?
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: What did you do to get through it? And because
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: you had to wait from finding those two pink lines
• 23:58
  Speaker 3: to the fertility doctor.
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: Did you tell anybody in those like a few days.
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: Week The first two weeks after I got the one hundred,
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: I was telling everybody I love that, everybody I could,
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: and I would tell people not to tell anyone else,
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: like it's a big secret, no one knows. Don't tell
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: anybody that I'm telling everybody.
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: No, the first two weeks it was only my family
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: Jessica knew, and then a couple of my best friends,
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: and that was really it. It's it's hard to keep
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: something like that, especially because they say keep it through
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: the first trimester, just because it's you know, anything could happen,
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: anything could happen at any point in time. That's remained
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: grateful always, But the first trimester is a little scary,
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: Yes it is, But I still told everybody.
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: Look, I'm in.
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: I'm in the belief that for good or for bad,
• 24:52
  Speaker 3: you want you want your community there. You want people
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: to celebrate the wins, but you also don't want to
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: have to go up to people and be like, hey,
• 24:59
  Speaker 3: so this really terrible thing happened, because then they had
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: to have that moment of like, oh my god, something
• 25:04
  Speaker 3: might have awesome have happened, and now you're grieving something
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: and to just kind of allow people to be there
• 25:10
  Speaker 3: for you for the process, especially pursuing this on your own,
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: you need to kind of build that village and build
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: that support and have that community because you should be
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: able to lean on people. This shouldn't be all or nothing,
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: and it's exciting when you find out, and you should
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: celebrate the wins.
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I really just like could not keep it to myself.
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: I was like, this is amazing, Like I'm gonna have
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: another baby, and for me, the double lines popped up,
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: and I was like, I thought I had a little
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: more time. The doctor said five to seven, but omg,
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: and then the first heartbeat and in anytime, ocean would
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: melt down. I was like, what have I done? Yep,
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, yep. But then but then you see
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: the first profile picture and you're like, oh my gosh.
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: Giving me baby fever.
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: And I want to give everyone all the baby fever.
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: I am problem so freaking excited.
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: Do you think you'll have another Oh?
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, of course, we talked about it.
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, everything already.
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: Holding her hand. I'll be like, you got this girl,
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: But once you have three, what is one more? Truly
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: once you have four, though, what is one more? You
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: might as well have six.
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know what kind of car
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: you would use for what four? For more than four? Well,
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: I'm one of five, you're one.
• 26:41
  Speaker 5: Of five, and it's s uv van like all the
• 26:44
  Speaker 5: big cars.
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: Well, you guys saw what I came in. My minivan,
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: my sexy minivan. Oh my god, the Christ listen those
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: doors open. My daughter is very independent. She likes to
• 26:53
  Speaker 3: open the door by herself. She'll never hit another car.
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: The mini van is fan.
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: I am living in my peak era, my minivan. I'm
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: in the suburbs. There's nothing more than life.
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: So this is the k de la creb no penintended, crab,
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: no fun intended.
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: She said, Yes, welcome to the Given podcast. Yeah, we
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: did post on our podcast page for all the questions
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: in the world about this process about California, Cryobank. Just
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: do you want to read those? Yes, you got some
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: good ones.
• 27:31
  Speaker 5: The listeners our friends wrote in with a ton of questions,
• 27:36
  Speaker 5: so we can't ask them all but and you guys
• 27:38
  Speaker 5: kind of touched on some of these. But I'm just
• 27:40
  Speaker 5: going to ask them to give Like, so you guys
• 27:42
  Speaker 5: can give direct answers there for both of you. So, yeah,
• 27:45
  Speaker 5: first one that we have a lot of is what
• 27:49
  Speaker 5: information do you have access to about your donor? So
• 27:52
  Speaker 5: you touched on it, but like is there anything you
• 27:54
  Speaker 5: didn't mention?
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: You did a pretty good job of kind of discussing
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: what yours have. All of our donors are slightly different,
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: so there's not a blanket everybody has this. The things
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: that are included is that extensive family medical history. You
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: get these cute we call them staff impressions, so people
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: who are doing the do the interviews with the donors,
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: the staff will kind of come up with a cute
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: little blurb and it just humanizes who these people are.
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: You get height, you get weight, you get eye color,
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: hair color, blood type. I think that family medical history
• 28:31
  Speaker 3: thing is a really big important one for a lot
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: of a lot of our families.
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: It was for us. My donor had his essay t
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: score wow. Yeah.
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you get a lot of information. Once you report
• 28:43
  Speaker 3: your pregnancy with us, you get a drive, like a
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: downloadable drive of all of the information. So any of
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: the photos that your donor has submitted, you get access
• 28:53
  Speaker 3: to all of those for keeps back in my day,
• 28:55
  Speaker 3: they would send you a jump drive. We've modernized since
• 28:59
  Speaker 3: then and now it's all just digital so anything. Once
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: you pick your donor and you report your pregnancy, you
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: get all of that information sent to you and you
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: can keep that in a keepsake for your future children
• 29:09
  Speaker 3: to have.
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that staff impressions so cute. Was that kind of
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: put the bow on the whole package?
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and it express yourself, the poems, the songs. We
• 29:22
  Speaker 3: have donors who give family recipes. We have really cool
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: we have really cool things. We have a DNA ancestry
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: for some of our donors. Mine had that, So for
• 29:32
  Speaker 3: anybody who has whatever your donor has, you will get
• 29:35
  Speaker 3: all of that to keep once you report your pregnancy.
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: It's kind of cool shopping on our on our site,
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: it's no, the filters are intense.
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: No, it really is quite fun.
• 29:46
  Speaker 5: I was so into it, your mom was so we
• 29:48
  Speaker 5: were all so into it.
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: It was a game. You were so into. Yeah, you
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: know what I love to about that.
• 29:55
  Speaker 5: It's like there is some even if there's positive energy
• 30:00
  Speaker 5: into the donating process, because it's not like the donor
• 30:03
  Speaker 5: shows up, does their thing and then gets out.
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: They're putting Like.
• 30:07
  Speaker 5: My favorite song like this beautiful energy into all of it.
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: Which I love.
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: It's it's a rigorous process. Yeah and yeah, are you
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: really have to show up? And it's more than you know,
• 30:18
  Speaker 3: just getting paid and leaving, Like you said, it's really
• 30:21
  Speaker 3: we have we have the best donors.
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: These donors. It is a process.
• 30:27
  Speaker 5: Well, we have questions about the vetting. Okay, well let's
• 30:29
  Speaker 5: talk since Okay, so that's the ask. Yeah, So basically
• 30:33
  Speaker 5: just people asking how do you guys vet the sperm donors?
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: Fair question, It's a good question, and it's a question
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: we get asked all the time. So the basic requirements
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: before you can even move on is you have to
• 30:45
  Speaker 3: be between nineteen and thirty eight years old. You need
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: to be in good health. You need to have a
• 30:50
  Speaker 3: degree or relevant work experience, so we don't necessarily require
• 30:54
  Speaker 3: a college degree. And then you have to legally be
• 30:57
  Speaker 3: allowed to work in the US. You meet those four requires,
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: you move on to the next step. There is extensive
• 31:04
  Speaker 3: medical family histories that you have to be able to
• 31:07
  Speaker 3: provide that we have to be able to vet. You
• 31:10
  Speaker 3: meet with a clinical psychologist. I think that one was
• 31:13
  Speaker 3: another big one for me personally. Choosing a sperm bank
• 31:16
  Speaker 3: is I wanted to know that these donors know exactly
• 31:20
  Speaker 3: what they are signing up for.
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: Anonymity is a thing of.
• 31:23
  Speaker 3: The past, so all of our donors since twenty eighteen
• 31:25
  Speaker 3: are considered ID disclosure donors. That means when your child
• 31:30
  Speaker 3: turns eighteen, if they want to get some qualifying information
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: on who this donor is, we will be able to
• 31:37
  Speaker 3: provide whatever information we have at that time, like their name,
• 31:40
  Speaker 3: their address, their phone number, so show yeah, it's We
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: do still have anonymous donors on our catalog, but they're
• 31:48
  Speaker 3: from before twenty eighteen. So that's another thing that all
• 31:52
  Speaker 3: of our donors since then. They all have to understand, Okay,
• 31:56
  Speaker 3: what happens when you get that so called knock on
• 31:59
  Speaker 3: your door? What does that mean to you? What if
• 32:02
  Speaker 3: you're in a relationship now, what if you're not in
• 32:04
  Speaker 3: one now and then you decide to get married and
• 32:06
  Speaker 3: this happens. Really understanding the breadth of what this donation
• 32:09
  Speaker 3: is blood work, like for months, they have to be
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: doing all this blood work again health reasons and safety,
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: So that's kind of the basics of it. Less than
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: one percent of all applicants who make it into our
• 32:26
  Speaker 3: donor catalog less than one percent make it.
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: That's wild because of our.
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: High standards and minimum donation requirements, so we also ask
• 32:35
  Speaker 3: that they don't donate to other banks. But we have
• 32:38
  Speaker 3: some pretty stringent processes in place, so less than one
• 32:42
  Speaker 3: percent of applicants.
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it is amazing. Yeah, that's amazing.
• 32:47
  Speaker 5: I'm going to ask the question that has been asked
• 32:49
  Speaker 5: officially the most from our listeners. It is, which you
• 32:54
  Speaker 5: probably know, what's the overall cost of this journey?
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: So costs?
• 33:00
  Speaker 3: It depends on are you doing an at home insemination?
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: Are you going to do IUI or IVF, What state
• 33:05
  Speaker 3: do you live in, what country do you live in?
• 33:08
  Speaker 3: So all of those fees vary and range. So what
• 33:13
  Speaker 3: we've done to hopefully make it easier for your audience
• 33:16
  Speaker 3: because I know that based on all these questions there's
• 33:18
  Speaker 3: a lot of people going, I want to do this,
• 33:20
  Speaker 3: I don't know where to start. We've created a promo
• 33:23
  Speaker 3: code on behalf of you guys called Mommy m O
• 33:26
  Speaker 3: mmy for a free Level three subscription to our donor catalog.
• 33:31
  Speaker 3: So when you go to our cryobank dot com and
• 33:33
  Speaker 3: you create an account, it's free. You get our Level
• 33:36
  Speaker 3: one subscription with that it has minimal information on what
• 33:39
  Speaker 3: access you can get to our donors. Level three is
• 33:42
  Speaker 3: our premiere, top tier access. You get absolutely everything. You
• 33:46
  Speaker 3: can see, all those photos, you can see all the
• 33:48
  Speaker 3: medical histories, and that's a really good place to start
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: to kind of start figuring out your vetting process. California
• 33:54
  Speaker 3: Cryobank we offer a program called Family Today, Family Tomorrow,
• 34:00
  Speaker 3: So based on a certain number of vials you buy,
• 34:02
  Speaker 3: we give free storage programs. We have a Vile buyback program.
• 34:07
  Speaker 3: We do have a partner when it comes to financial
• 34:11
  Speaker 3: help and partner so we've done what we can to
• 34:14
  Speaker 3: hopefully help provide a little bit of assistance on the
• 34:18
  Speaker 3: sperm side, but clinics.
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: And procedures kind of vary based on where you are.
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: And I want to with that code because you know,
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: I had a lot of people slide into my DM
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: on the podcast page and really wanting to go this route.
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: And you know, kids are expensive even when you just
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: conceive them. With your partner and myself in California, Cryobank
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: really really want to help whoever is interested in going
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: this route. It's important for you guys to know if
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: you use that promo code, Mommy, I'm not benefiting off
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: of that. So I love that we're doing that. I
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: love the code mommy because I'm a mommy. Do we
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: have any other questions?
• 35:03
  Speaker 5: We have a lot, but I know we're running out
• 35:05
  Speaker 5: of time, so let's just end on this one.
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: Because it's been asked a few times.
• 35:08
  Speaker 5: Yeah, La, La, I know you touched on this, but
• 35:11
  Speaker 5: how do you plan to talk to your daughters about
• 35:14
  Speaker 5: this when they are both old enough.
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: I'm going to let them steer the ship. If they
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: have the questions, I will answer them. I don't really know.
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: I can't plan for something. I always say that I'm
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: going to cross bridges when I get to them. I
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: am notorious for trying to cross bridges before I get
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: to them, and it leads me into a straight panic.
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: And I find that when things happen in real time
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: and I just speak from my heart, that's when everything
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: kind of remains smooth and we keep it moving and
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: everyone's happy. So if those questions ever come to fruition,
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: I wholeheartedly believe that I'm going to be able to
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: have those conversations in a productive way. I don't believe
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: in keeping things from people. I think that does more
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: harm than good. So if they're asking questions, like we're
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: breaking down the nitty gritty of everything. Yeah, but the
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: most important thing for me is just letting them know
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: how love they are. And I know, just watching my
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: daughter ocean, you know, it's it's a very unconventional life
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: that she's growing up in. But I'm man, that kid
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: is just magical and thriving. So I'm really happy.
• 36:31
  Speaker 5: We're so happy for this entire process, just being able
• 36:34
  Speaker 5: to watch it the entire way and like this family
• 36:37
  Speaker 5: growing on your terms.
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: It's beautiful.
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's beautiful.
• 36:42
  Speaker 4: And thank you for making this session great experience for
• 36:45
  Speaker 4: her because it means a lot. With everything she goes through,
• 36:47
  Speaker 4: this was finally a very beautiful and amazing experience for her,
• 36:52
  Speaker 4: So thank you guys.
• 36:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, of course, I'm trying to not get let my
• 36:56
  Speaker 3: emotions get the best of it. I know what it's
• 36:58
  Speaker 3: like to be a mom and you have the spotlight
• 37:01
  Speaker 3: and the pressure, and I can only imagine the kickback
• 37:05
  Speaker 3: sometimes that you might get from people you don't know
• 37:09
  Speaker 3: and you will never know, and what you're choosing is powerful,
• 37:13
  Speaker 3: and like they said, it's on your terms and we
• 37:16
  Speaker 3: are here to help make if it's that much easier.
• 37:19
  Speaker 3: We'll take it because we don't want you to go
• 37:21
  Speaker 3: through this process without any We want you to have
• 37:24
  Speaker 3: it all and if we can help make that happen.
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: I feel like true, like I feel like I do
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: have it all. I'm really the happiest I've been in
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: a really long time. And I just I say that
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: I stay in my reality, and my reality is very
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: beautiful and once I enter that bubble of what is
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: the outside world, and like you said, people will never
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: meet in my entire life as long as I stay
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: out of that bubble and in reality. Yep, like we're
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: on and have been on cloud nine for quite some time. No,
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: and I really really attribute that to you guys coming
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: through and making my mom my dreams come true.
• 38:05
  Speaker 3: Well on that, I have two last questions for you. Yes,
• 38:08
  Speaker 3: So the first, who's been? Who has been?
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: Or who have been your biggest supporters during this time?
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, that's so hard to even like say who,
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: because I've had an overwhelming amount of support from my
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: own community, but also like Mama's where like I said,
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: I kind of stay off of social media and things.
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: But my amazing brain slash assistant slash dear friend will
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: send me incredible messages from women. My mom has been
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: absolutely amazing for someone who's sixty three, which does not
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: sound old, but I've met sixty three year old who
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: are not as progressive as my mother. She's been absolutely fantastic.
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: My brother, just all of my friends. When I told
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: my friends and family that I was using a donor,
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: it was like telling them that I was like just
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: one a million dollars, Like they were just so happy.
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: It wasn't like, are you sure you don't want to
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: wait to meet someone, which is wild because I have
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: had that from people who of course other people, but
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: my community wasn't even wasn't a question, wasn't a thought,
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: and they've been supportive ever since.
• 39:23
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 39:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, final question, Okay, what are your biggest takeaways from
• 39:29
  Speaker 3: this process that can help someone else pursuing parenthood on
• 39:33
  Speaker 3: their own.
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: Oh? The biggest takeaway I want to say was actually
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: how warm the experience was. I think because I've done both,
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: I can kind of speak to both sides. I think
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: at the very beginning, I was preparing myself for this
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: to be more of an isolating experience because you don't
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: have the other person there, and for me, it was
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: by choice to not have another person there, but just
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: to look at it and go, wow, it's not as scientific.
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: And maybe it's because of the way that I treated
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: it by having the donor party and by leaning into
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: the California CRYODB and can be like, I'm gonna need
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: you to hold my hand, maybe a little bit more
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: than someone else may need you. I would say that
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: was the most surprising thing, is like, oh, this experience
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: is actually very fun. I love shopping, so to take
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: all of it and then come out of it with
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: like this beautiful baby that I'll be welcoming hopefully in
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: Virgo season, I'm like, this is freaking awesome. Yeah, people
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: should do this. In fact, I have friends who are like,
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: you've got to figure it out, Like I'm doing this.
• 40:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a beautiful process and we're really excited for you.
• 40:44
  Speaker 3: Thank you, and uh yeah, we hope your listeners use
• 40:48
  Speaker 3: promo code. Mommy, I too, mom.
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: We want to make all the mommy dreams come true.
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: I know it's an intimidating and like you think about
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: becoming a parent, and just like we talked about it,
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: it's intimidating and scary and hard and expensive to become
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: a parent just in the normal world. So if we
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: can alleviate some of the pressure and stresses, I hope
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: that we can. I'm so happy you came on.
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: Thank you for having me.
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: Of course it was a pleasure.
• 41:16
  Speaker 5: And Jess I wanted to mention there is a link
• 41:18
  Speaker 5: in laws bio that'll take you, guys to that code
• 41:21
  Speaker 5: page and to all of that if you.
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: Want to explore more.
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: Yes, Instagram bio. That is Instagram bio La. Thank you
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: Drisha Kurr Sidney. You're amazing. God bless you and your
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: family and three babies. They can't wait for you to
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: bring in a fourth.
• 41:38
  Speaker 2: Amen.
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: You can go home and tell your wife and say,
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: Lala and I had a deep rooted discussion and we've
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: decided on a four.
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's done.
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: I love it. You guys, thank you for listening to
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: another episode of the Give Them La La Bonus Podcast
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: Episode I will catch you next week.