Latest / RealTalkwithMikeD / Episode 77 - One Bad Decision can change your Entire Life!

Transcript

Episode 77 - One Bad Decision can change your Entire Life! · RealTalkwithMikeD

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Real Talk with Mike D. Alright, welcome back
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: to Real Talk with Mike D. I am the one,
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: the only, and the original Mike D. And this is
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: where we talk about real life, real struggles, real emotions,
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: and sometimes the things that people would rather keep buried
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: deep down inside. Happy Monday. It's the start of another
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: work week. Nobody's excited about that. I know I'm not.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: But today I want to talk about something serious, something
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: that could make a few of you feel slightly uncomfortable,
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: something that might hit home for a lot of people.
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  Speaker 1: And we're going to talk about all that and much,
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: much more right after this. All right, welcome back. Now,
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: I want to ask you all a very serious question.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: Have any of you out there ever done something that
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: you knew was incredibly wrong, but in that particular moment
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: you weren't thinking clearly? Maybe you were under the influence
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: of drugs or alcohol. Maybe your judgment was completely clouded.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: Maybe you weren't thinking about tomorrow. or the consequences, or
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: your family, your job, or your reputation, or everything you
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: worked so hard to accomplish. You were just living in
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: that moment. And then afterward, when your mind cleared, reality
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: came knocking and suddenly you realized something. Holy shit, what
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: the fuck was I thinking? Because sometimes one decision, one moment,
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: One incredibly bad choice can turn your entire world upside down.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: And that is very, very scary. You might not realize
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: how close you came to losing everything until it's almost
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: too late. And let's be honest. We all know the
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: difference between right and wrong. We know there are certain
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: things we should never do. We know there are lines
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: we shouldn't cross. But when drugs or alcohol enter the picture,
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: something can change. Your judgment can become impaired. Your ability
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: to think through consequences can disappear. Your impulse control can
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: take a backseat and suddenly, something that would normally make
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: you stop and say, absolutely not, doesn't seem like such
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: a terrible idea. That is where the danger begins because
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: when you're under the influence, You're not necessarily looking at
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: the situation the same way you would when you're sober.
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  Speaker 1: You're not thinking about the potential damage. You're not thinking
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  Speaker 1: about what happens if somebody finds out. You're not thinking
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: about whether you're putting yourself or somebody else in danger.
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  Speaker 1: You're thinking about whatever is happening right in front of
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  Speaker 1: you at that particular time. And that is a very,
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: very dangerous place to be. Because being under the influence
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: doesn't erase responsibility. It doesn't automatically excuse what happened. And
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: it certainly does not erase the consequences. We can recognize
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: that substances affect our thinking while still accepting responsibility for
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: the decisions that we make. You know what's one of
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: the worst feelings in the world? It's waking up thinking
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: about something you did. and realizing just how badly it
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: could have gone wrong. Maybe you crossed a line you
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: never thought you would cross. Maybe you put yourself in
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: a situation that could have resulted in legal problems. Maybe
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: you jeopardized your employment. Maybe you damaged a relationship with
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: somebody who trusted you. Or maybe you did something that
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: could have affected your entire future. And now you're sitting
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: there thinking, what the fuck was I thinking? That is
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: a horrible, horrible feeling. Because the situation might not have
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: ended badly, but you know it could have. And sometimes
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: that's almost as frightening as if it had happened. You
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: start playing that situation over and over in your head.
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  Speaker 1: What if somebody had seen me? What if something had happened?
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  Speaker 1: What if I had gotten arrested? What if I had
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: lost my job? What if I had hurt somebody? What
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  Speaker 1: if I had permanently damaged my reputation? What if one
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  Speaker 1: stupid decision had changed the rest of my life? That
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  Speaker 1: is when reality really hits you. You realize that you
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: were playing with something much, much bigger than you understood
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: at the time. And suddenly, that moment doesn't seem so
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: insignificant anymore. And here's something I want everybody listening to really,
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: really understand. Sometimes we spend years building a life. We
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: work hard. We pay our bills. We raise our children.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: We try to be good parents, good friends, good employees,
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  Speaker 1: and good human beings. We deal with everything that life
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  Speaker 1: throws at us. And then, in one moment, we can
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: put all of that at risk. Think about that. Years
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  Speaker 1: of hard work can be threatened by one terrible decision.
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  Speaker 1: A job you've worked so hard to keep. A family
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  Speaker 1: that depends on you. A relationship that means everything to you.
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  Speaker 1: Your freedom. Your financial stability. Your future. All of it
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  Speaker 1: can be affected. And here's the thing. Sometimes you don't
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: get a second chance. Sometimes the consequences are immediate. Sometimes
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  Speaker 1: they follow you for years. And sometimes they affect people
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  Speaker 1: who had absolutely nothing to do with the decision that
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: you've made. And what makes these situations so serious? It's
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  Speaker 1: not always just about you. Other people can get hurt
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  Speaker 1: as well. And that's something we need to think about
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  Speaker 1: long before we put ourselves in a dangerous situation. And
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  Speaker 1: now this is where the conversation gets real. It's easy
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  Speaker 1: to say, I was under the influence. I wasn't thinking straight.
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  Speaker 1: I wasn't myself. I didn't mean to do it. And
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: maybe all of those statements are true. But at some point,
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: we have to stop hiding behind explanations and start taking
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: responsibility because there's a difference between explaining your behavior and
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: excusing it. I can acknowledge that drugs and alcohol affected
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: my judgment without pretending that my actions didn't matter. I
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: can admit that I wasn't thinking clearly without pretending that
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  Speaker 1: nobody could have been hurt. And I can regret something
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  Speaker 1: without pretending it never happened. That is accountability. And accountability
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  Speaker 1: isn't always comfortable. Sometimes it means looking in the mirror
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  Speaker 1: and admitting that you made a terrible decision. Not somebody else.
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  Speaker 1: Not the circumstances. Not the people around you. You. And
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  Speaker 1: that can be a tough pill to swallow because... You
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: can't change yesterday. You cannot rewind the clock. You cannot
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: go back and make a different decision. But you can
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: decide what kind of person you're going to be tomorrow.
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: And here's something else we don't always consider when we're
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  Speaker 1: making reckless decisions is the people who love us. Think
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  Speaker 1: about your children, your parents, your family. Think about the
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: people who depend on you. Imagine having to explain one
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  Speaker 1: decision could have cost you your job, your freedom, or
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  Speaker 1: your ability to be there for the people you love.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: Imagine the disappointment. Imagine the heartbreak. Imagine somebody looking at
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: you and saying, I thought you knew better. That one
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: sentence can hurt more than almost anything in the world.
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  Speaker 1: Because deep down, you probably did know better. And that's
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: what makes it so difficult. You aren't necessarily a bad
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: person because you made a bad decision. But you have
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: to understand that good people can make incredibly destructive choices.
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  Speaker 1: And those choices can have a very real consequence. We
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: need to remember that our actions don't happen in a vacuum.
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  Speaker 1: Our decisions can affect the people standing beside us. And
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: sometimes the best thing we can do for the people
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: we love is to recognize when we're putting ourselves in
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: danger and make a change. And I think one of
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: the most frightening things about making a terrible decision is
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: the what-if game. You know what I'm talking about. You
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: lie in bed and your mind starts going, what if
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  Speaker 1: I'd gone a little bit further? What if somebody had
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: called the police? What if I had been caught? What
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: if I had lost everything? What, God forbid, what if
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: something or someone would have gotten hurt or killed? What
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: if I had made a decision that I could never
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: take back? And suddenly you realize how thin the line
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: can be between getting away with a bad decision and
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: dealing with the consequences that follow you for the rest
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: of your life. That's fucking scary. Because sometimes we're not
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: as far away from disaster as we think. We convince
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: ourselves that everything is under control. We tell ourselves that
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: nothing bad is going to happen. We think we're smarter
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: than the situation. But nobody is immune to the consequences. Nobody.
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  Speaker 1: And sometimes the biggest wake-up call isn't what actually happened.
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  Speaker 1: It's realizing what could have happened. Maybe you were lucky.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: Maybe the circumstances worked out. Maybe nobody got hurt. But
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: do not confuse getting lucky with making a great decision.
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  Speaker 1: Those are two very, very different things. Ladies and gentlemen,
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  Speaker 1: that is going to do it for today. I greatly
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  Speaker 1: appreciate you being here. I greatly appreciate you listening. And
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: I'm going to leave you with this. If any of
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  Speaker 1: you out there have made a bad decision that you
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  Speaker 1: knew at the time you were doing it was a horrible,
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: horrible decision, but maybe you were under the influence of
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: drugs or alcohol. But by the grace of God, a
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: higher power, good friends, whomever, they came to your rescue.
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  Speaker 1: And then you realized just how bad this situation could
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  Speaker 1: have been, but by the grace of God and good friends,
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  Speaker 1: it never happened. I want you to know that you're
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  Speaker 1: not alone. A lot of people have been in those situations,
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: including myself. And I'm very blessed. I'm very thankful. And
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  Speaker 1: it was definitely an eye-opening experience. But anyhow. I hope
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  Speaker 1: you all have a wonderful Monday. Hope you all have
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  Speaker 1: a great week at work. And I will see you
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  Speaker 1: all on the very next episode.