Latest / Let's Ask the Mamas! / Mate Poaching
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: We got a question for American mama's. Dear mama's have
- 0:02Speaker 1: you heard about mate poaching? Well, let's ask our American mama's.
- 0:07Speaker 2: Mama, mama, she said.
- 0:19Speaker 1: And joining us now are American mama is Terry Edville
- 0:21Speaker 1: and Kimberly Burlison mate poaching. I have not heard about
- 0:26Speaker 1: mate poaching. I'm assuming not like as an egg, but
- 0:29Speaker 1: as in going and shooting a white rhino. I'm assuming
- 0:32Speaker 1: that kind of poaching we're talking about.
- 0:35Speaker 2: No, this is actually a woman and she is sharing
- 0:37Speaker 2: with other women, okay, mate poaching. So this is when
- 0:42Speaker 2: a woman has her sight set on your husband and
- 0:46Speaker 2: she literally goes after him, and she shares all the
- 0:49Speaker 2: different ways she does that, and she starts basically an
- 0:52Speaker 2: emotional affair, and it's by being a friend first. Being
- 0:56Speaker 2: in a situation where it's just you and the husband.
- 0:58Speaker 2: It's great conversation. And so what struck me as kind
- 1:02Speaker 2: of interesting about this particular story. I was a flight
- 1:05Speaker 2: attendant for many years, okay in the nineties, and after
- 1:09Speaker 2: every flight we go to our layover, and then the
- 1:11Speaker 2: flight attendants and the pilots would go out to eat,
- 1:14Speaker 2: go get drinks, go do that kind of thing. So
- 1:17Speaker 2: I was part of a very young based Salt Lake City,
- 1:20Speaker 2: So we were very young girls, and some of the
- 1:22Speaker 2: pilots were young too, but attractive girls. Okay, So we
- 1:26Speaker 2: would go and I started seeing unbelievable flirting and dancing,
- 1:32Speaker 2: you know, once they start drinking, and I realized how
- 1:36Speaker 2: dangerous this was, these kinds of things happening. And so
- 1:40Speaker 2: then over the course of the years, of course, there
- 1:42Speaker 2: would be a lot of relateidous second marriages with flight
- 1:45Speaker 2: attendants and pilots, and it's because it starts out so
- 1:48Speaker 2: innocently enough, but then they get caught up in having
- 1:52Speaker 2: an emotional affair and all the damage is then done
- 1:55Speaker 2: and the male I'm not saying that the man is
- 1:57Speaker 2: just as responsible for this, right, women know what to do.
- 2:01Speaker 2: There's a magic about women, and we know the ways.
- 2:05Speaker 3: That sounds terrible, doesn't Talking about the manipulation, Yes, women
- 2:10Speaker 3: can easily manipulate.
- 2:12Speaker 1: But as a man, we can be pretty easily manipulated.
- 2:16Speaker 3: Yeah, just for sure. I mean it's brought down kings
- 2:19Speaker 3: and presidents and CEOs of businesses. It is, you know,
- 2:23Speaker 3: one of those things. But I was thinking about when
- 2:26Speaker 3: we were little, our mom would not She was big
- 2:30Speaker 3: on not allowing us to watch too much TV an
- 2:32Speaker 3: hour a day, thirty minutes of the morning, you know,
- 2:34Speaker 3: the radio, the music that we listened to, the books
- 2:37Speaker 3: that we were able to have. You know, I remember
- 2:39Speaker 3: sneaking a scary book because she didn't the Amineville House
- 2:42Speaker 3: or whatever. She's like, you're not, And then I realized why.
- 2:44Speaker 3: It scared me to death. I couldn't sleep for days.
- 2:47Speaker 3: But one of the things that she just there was
- 2:51Speaker 3: no we were not gonna ask any questions about it.
- 2:54Speaker 3: We were not allowed to watch soap operas period. All
- 2:57Speaker 3: of our friends did, our cousins did. Yeah, And I mean,
- 3:00Speaker 3: they're all Christians, so why can't we. What's the big deal?
- 3:03Speaker 3: And later on we learned that they normalize things that
- 3:08Speaker 3: she didn't want us to feel like they were normal,
- 3:11Speaker 3: like cheating on spouses, and they did it in such
- 3:14Speaker 3: a way that you're rooting for the cheating people because
- 3:17Speaker 3: this one's wife is being so terrible to him and
- 3:19Speaker 3: this one's husband's being so terrible to her, and you're like, oh,
- 3:22Speaker 3: they deserve to be together, and so in your mind,
- 3:25Speaker 3: you know, all of these years later, you have your
- 3:28Speaker 3: own children, and I do see it in movies and
- 3:31Speaker 3: in your algorithm. It happens all the time, but she
- 3:36Speaker 3: did not want it to be normalized in our little brains.
- 3:39Speaker 1: And this is one of those things why I think
- 3:42Speaker 1: it's so important that you make sure that your partner
- 3:48Speaker 1: is your best friend. That if there are people out
- 3:52Speaker 1: there trying to create an emotional affair and to step in,
- 3:56Speaker 1: that only works if you aren't maintaining that emotional cond tactic,
- 4:00Speaker 1: emotional connection with your actual partner. I mean, if if
- 4:04Speaker 1: you're having a conversation with somebody and you're like, you know,
- 4:06Speaker 1: we would love this story. Is my wife? You know?
- 4:09Speaker 1: I mean that that cuts right down. And that's part
- 4:13Speaker 1: of why having that personal relationship is so important that
- 4:18Speaker 1: me inoculates this.
- 4:19Speaker 3: I have friends, they don't live here anymore, they moved
- 4:22Speaker 3: years ago, but I will never remember. I will never
- 4:24Speaker 3: forget her telling us the story. During our we had
- 4:26Speaker 3: like a prayer circle and we would get together and
- 4:28Speaker 3: she told us that her husband went to the pharmacy
- 4:31Speaker 3: and he found the girl behind the counter very attractive
- 4:34Speaker 3: and he felt, you know, just this connection with her.
- 4:37Speaker 3: He came back home and she said, he said, look,
- 4:40Speaker 3: you're going to have to start going to the pharmacy
- 4:43Speaker 3: because I felt something I shouldn't have felt for this
- 4:45Speaker 3: girl over the counter. Well, I'm we're all just like
- 4:47Speaker 3: our jaws drop like whoa. We talked about it. She said, well,
- 4:50Speaker 3: we're best friends. We tell each other everything I said.
- 4:53Speaker 3: Or or he doesn't want to go to the pharmacy anymore,
- 4:57Speaker 3: and that's his way. That's you not to go get
- 5:00Speaker 3: the drugs, because that would be the first thing My
- 5:04Speaker 3: wife would be like, you're never going again, you know.
- 5:07Speaker 3: But I remember thinking, I remember her saying, we are
- 5:11Speaker 3: best friends is how we communicate, And I thought, I
- 5:13Speaker 3: don't know how I would handle that if Kevin said
- 5:17Speaker 3: that to I really don't like if he finds someone attractive,
- 5:22Speaker 3: keep it to yourself. I don't know if I could
- 5:25Speaker 3: handle that. But anyway, when that's interesting that you said that,
- 5:28Speaker 3: because it triggered that memory.
- 5:30Speaker 1: It's about it's not just you know, you can think
- 5:32Speaker 1: somebody's good looking, yeah, but it's about the emotion. You
- 5:35Speaker 1: talked about that emotional fair first. Right to inoculate that
- 5:39Speaker 1: emotional fair, you need to be making sure that you
- 5:41Speaker 1: have a very solid friendship first with your spouse. That
- 5:46Speaker 1: relationships right exactly, you like Deska America, Mama was a
- 5:49Speaker 1: question to go to our website American ground rader dot com,
- 5:50Speaker 1: slash Mama's a click on thats the Mama's button. Terny NFL,
- 5:53Speaker 1: Kimrily Brothers, and thank you so much, thank you,