Latest / UNMASKED with Wesley Farnsworth / Ep 27 - Sacred Spaces: How Honesty Heals Us | The Power of Community (Part 2)

Transcript

Ep 27 - Sacred Spaces: How Honesty Heals Us | The Power of Community (Part 2) · UNMASKED with Wesley Farnsworth

• 0:00
  Think back to the last time you walked into a room and
• 0:03
  immediately knew that you didn't have to pretend.
• 0:05
  Maybe it was a friend's living room.
• 0:07
  Maybe it was a late night conversation down the hallway.
• 0:09
  Maybe it was a moment in church when someone looked at you and
• 0:12
  said no. Really, how are you?
• 0:15
  For a split second, you felt your guard drop, just a little,
• 0:18
  just enough to breathe. Now think about the opposite.
• 0:22
  A room where you walked in and instantly felt the need to hide.
• 0:26
  A room where your shoulders tightened.
• 0:27
  Your words became careful. Your face became practice and
• 0:32
  every part of you said don't let them see too much.
• 0:35
  Every one of us knows the difference between those two
• 0:37
  rooms. One room heals us and the other
• 0:39
  room hardens us. Today we're going to talk about
• 0:42
  the rooms that heal. The spaces that God uses to
• 0:45
  rebuild us, restore us, and bring us back to life.
• 0:54
  Welcome to Unmasked, the podcast where we take off the filters of
• 0:57
  our faith, our stories and our struggles, and to the freedom of
• 1:01
  authenticity. I'm your host, Wesley
• 1:03
  Farnsworth. Last episode in Part 1 of this
• 1:05
  series, The Power of Community, we confronted the lie that says
• 1:09
  I can handle this alone. And today in Part 2, we're going
• 1:12
  deeper. We're talking about the spaces
• 1:15
  where healing actually happens. This episode is called Sacred
• 1:19
  Spaces, How Honesty Heals Us. Because honesty needs soil.
• 1:23
  It needs environment, it needs context, it needs safety.
• 1:27
  Healing doesn't just come from opening up, it comes from
• 1:30
  opening up somewhere safe. So let's talk about what that
• 1:34
  means. It's important to say this out
• 1:41
  loud right at the start. Not every room is safe, not
• 1:45
  every person is safe, and not every space is meant to hear
• 1:49
  your story. You've probably experienced
• 1:52
  this. You've opened up to someone and
• 1:54
  felt judged. You shared something.
• 1:56
  You shared something vulnerable and they minimized it.
• 1:59
  You took a risk and someone mocked you, corrected you,
• 2:03
  spiritualized you, or made it about themselves.
• 2:06
  Or maybe you've shared something deeply personal and I got share
• 2:10
  it again without your permission.
• 2:11
  Those moments teach us something dangerous, and that is that
• 2:15
  honesty isn't safe. And once you believe that, you
• 2:18
  stop opening up altogether. But here's the truth.
• 2:21
  The problem wasn't the honesty, it was the room that you chose.
• 2:25
  Honesty in the wrong room wounds.
• 2:28
  Honesty in the right room heals. So what makes a space sacred?
• 2:32
  The word sacred simply means set apart.
• 2:35
  Set apart for something holy, something pure, something
• 2:38
  meaningful. A sacred space isn't perfect.
• 2:42
  It's not polished. It's not the room with the best
• 2:45
  furniture or soft worship music playing.
• 2:47
  A sacred space is an environment where the presence of God meets
• 2:51
  the honesty of people. Let me describe what that space
• 2:53
  feels like. You walk in and your soul says
• 2:56
  here I can breathe here. I don't have to pretend here.
• 3:00
  No ones performing here. Masks drop naturally here.
• 3:05
  Weakness isn't shameful here. Tears are welcome here.
• 3:09
  My story isn't too much. Sacred spaces are where honesty
• 3:14
  is protected, vulnerability is honored, brokenness is normal,
• 3:19
  and passion outweighs judgment and healing becomes possible.
• 3:23
  These are places where you can finally stop editing yourself.
• 3:27
  You don't have to be impressive. You don't have to be strong.
• 3:30
  You don't have to be composed. You don't even have to be the
• 3:33
  version of yourself people expect in sacred spaces.
• 3:36
  You get to be you. So think about scripture is full
• 3:40
  of sacred spaces. Think about moments in scripture
• 3:43
  where real transformation happened.
• 3:45
  They weren't in palaces. They weren't in sanitized
• 3:48
  religious environments. They happened in caves, in
• 3:51
  deserts, in upper rooms, in quiet roads, in living rooms, in
• 3:55
  mountainsides, in gardens, in fishing boats.
• 3:59
  They weren't glamorous spaces. There were human spaces, sacred
• 4:02
  not because they were beautiful, but because God met them there.
• 4:06
  Moses encountered God alone on a mountainside.
• 4:08
  David poured out his soul in caves.
• 4:11
  Elijah collapsed under a broom tree and heard God whisper.
• 4:14
  Mary and Martha saw resurrection direction right in their home,
• 4:18
  the early church gathered in living rooms, and Jesus restored
• 4:21
  Peter by a charcoal fire on a beach.
• 4:24
  What made these spaces sacred? Not the location, that's for
• 4:27
  sure. Not the lighting, not the
• 4:29
  atmosphere. It was the honesty happening in
• 4:32
  them, where truth and grace met. They became holy ground.
• 4:37
  The first time I stepped into a sacred space was a night that
• 4:40
  I'll never forget. I walked into a room expecting
• 4:43
  nothing to happen, and everything changed.
• 4:45
  Not because the room looked special, not because the chairs
• 4:48
  were arranged perfectly. Not because the people had
• 4:51
  everything together, far from it, actually.
• 4:53
  But because the moment I sat down, I felt something I hadn't
• 4:57
  felt in a long time. I wasn't alone.
• 5:00
  The vulnerability in the room was so real you could feel it in
• 5:03
  the air. In that room, people weren't
• 5:04
  pretending, they weren't performing, they weren't giving.
• 5:08
  They weren't giving polished church answers.
• 5:10
  Despite being in a church. They were honest, painfully
• 5:13
  honest. And for the first time in a long
• 5:15
  time, I didn't feel the need to fix myself before speaking.
• 5:19
  Didn't heal everything in a moment that it broke something
• 5:22
  open it softened something hardened it let the light in I
• 5:26
  left that night different no longer hiding on the road to
• 5:30
  recovery and healing and that's what sacred spaces do they
• 5:34
  change your posture, they change your perspective they change
• 5:37
  your pace they change your willingness to be known they
• 5:40
  crack open the door to healing. There are 4 traits of a sacred
• 5:45
  space that I want to share with you.
• 5:46
  The four things that made that room sacred, and you'll know
• 5:49
  them when you feel them. The first one is safety.
• 5:52
  This is more than just privacy, it's emotional safety, the sense
• 5:56
  that no one in the room is waiting for you to fail.
• 5:59
  A sacred space feels like a deep exhale.
• 6:02
  The second trait is acceptance. You are welcomed as you are, not
• 6:06
  who you were, not who you should be, not who you pretend to be.
• 6:10
  A sacred space says you belong before you behave.
• 6:15
  The third trait is confidentiality.
• 6:17
  What's shared there stays there, not as a rule, but as a culture.
• 6:21
  Sacred spaces protect vulnerability.
• 6:25
  And finally, grace. In a sacred space, grace
• 6:28
  outweighs guilt, hope outweighs shame, honesty outweighs image,
• 6:33
  and healing outweighs fear. When those four things are
• 6:36
  present, a room becomes holy ground.
• 6:39
  So why does honesty heal us spiritually and psychologically?
• 6:43
  Honestly heals us on multiple levels.
• 6:46
  The Bible says you know the truth and the truth will set you
• 6:50
  free. Truth spoken between people
• 6:52
  activates freedom within people. God designed transformation to
• 6:56
  happen in community. When you say something out loud,
• 7:00
  your brain no longer has to store it alone.
• 7:03
  And that provides emotionally and that provides emotional
• 7:08
  healing. The weight is shared, the load
• 7:10
  is divided, the burden is halved.
• 7:13
  And psychologically, isolation amplifies fear.
• 7:17
  Honesty, however, reduces it. Silence increases shame, while
• 7:21
  honesty dissolves it. Darkness multiplies pressure and
• 7:25
  light breaks it. There is something literally
• 7:28
  healing about putting words to pain.
• 7:30
  Pain spoken in a safe place becomes pain that can finally
• 7:34
  heal. The first time I said I'm not
• 7:36
  okay was a time that I will never forget.
• 7:38
  It wasn't said in a joking tone. It wasn't said in 1/2 hearted
• 7:42
  way, and it wasn't said passively said.
• 7:46
  It was said seriously, vulnerably and audibly.
• 7:49
  Those words were terrifying because once you say them, you
• 7:53
  can't pretend anymore. You've now crossed that line
• 7:56
  between isolation and honesty, and there's no going back.
• 8:00
  But the moment didn't break me. It freed me.
• 8:02
  Not because everyone in the room had a perfect response.
• 8:05
  Not because the atmosphere was magical.
• 8:07
  Not because the problem disappeared.
• 8:09
  It freed me because I finally stepped into the kind of space
• 8:12
  that God had been inviting me into for years.
• 8:14
  But I finally said I'm not OK. I realized heaven doesn't panic.
• 8:19
  Heaven celebrates because now the healing can begin.
• 8:23
  So how do you recognize your sacred space?
• 8:26
  Well, everyone's sacred space looks a little bit different.
• 8:29
  For some, it's a recovery group, like Celebrate Recovery.
• 8:32
  For others, that's a trusted friend.
• 8:34
  Maybe it's a prayer partner, a small group, A counselor's
• 8:37
  office, a late night talk with someone that you know knows your
• 8:41
  soul. You'll know when you found your
• 8:43
  sacred space, when you stop rehearsing what you have to say.
• 8:47
  You stop checking yourself for acceptable Christian answers.
• 8:50
  You feel your shoulders drop. You feel your breathing deepen.
• 8:54
  You stop editing your story. You stop apologizing for your
• 8:57
  emotions. You stop comparing your struggle
• 9:00
  to others. You feel the weight begin to
• 9:02
  loosen. You feel understood without
• 9:04
  having to explain everything. You sense that God is there,
• 9:08
  even if no one mentions his name.
• 9:10
  Sacred spaces don't force healing.
• 9:12
  They make healing possible. So how do you build a sacred
• 9:15
  space for others? This is something we often miss.
• 9:18
  You're not just called to find sacred spaces for yourself.
• 9:22
  You're also called to create them for others.
• 9:25
  Sacred spaces exist because someone chooses to be safe.
• 9:29
  Someone chooses to listen. Someone chooses not to judge.
• 9:33
  Someone chooses to sit in silence without trying to fix
• 9:36
  everything. Someone chooses to hold someone
• 9:39
  else's story with gentleness. You can be that person for
• 9:42
  someone. You can be the safe space.
• 9:45
  You can be the listening ear, the steady friend, the quiet
• 9:48
  presence, the confidential companion, the one who doesn't
• 9:52
  flinch when someone shares something.
• 9:54
  Heavy. Sacred spaces don't require
• 9:56
  perfection, they require compassion.
• 9:59
  So where is God calling you to open up?
• 10:01
  Take a moment right where you are and ask yourself, where is
• 10:04
  God calling me to be honest and with whom?
• 10:07
  Who is the one person that you trust or could trust with one
• 10:11
  small piece of your story? Not everything, just something
• 10:15
  real. You don't need a crowd.
• 10:17
  You need a connection. You don't need a room full of
• 10:19
  people. You need a single sacred space.
• 10:22
  And God can work wonders in every single sacred space.
• 10:26
  So here's your challenge this week.
• 10:28
  Enter one sacred space and offer one sacred truth.
• 10:32
  That might mean reaching out to a friend, attending a meeting,
• 10:36
  scheduling counseling, joining a small group, connecting with
• 10:39
  someone you trust, or simply admitting that I need to talk to
• 10:43
  someone. You don't have to unpack
• 10:45
  everything, but you do have to step into the room.
• 10:47
  And God will meet you there. Because healing rarely begins
• 10:51
  with a miracle. It begins with a moment.
• 10:58
  Thank you for joining me for episode 27 of Unmasked and Part
• 11:02
  2 of this series. Today we talked about the spaces
• 11:06
  that God uses to heal us. And next time we're going deeper
• 11:09
  still. The next episode is going to be
• 11:12
  called Brotherhood of Battle, Why You can't fight alone.
• 11:16
  And we're going to talk about what real community looks like
• 11:18
  in the trenches. Not theoretical, not surface
• 11:22
  level, but the kind of community that walks with you into storms
• 11:25
  and refuses to leave you there Until then, remember, you were
• 11:30
  made for sacred spaces. You were designed for
• 11:33
  connection, and healing happens when honesty meets grace.
• 11:37
  God bless you.