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The Sacred Pause: Finding Presence in Motherhood with Maria Adlam · The Spiritual Parent: Mindful Tools for Raising Spiritual and Conscious Kids

• 0:05
  Maria Adlam: I do something I call the sacred pause and it's just basically taking a breath to recenter so that I can regulate myself and then be able to support, offer that support to whoever the children is, and hold that space.
• 0:22
  Maria Adlam: So if my energy field is feeling calm and I'm coming from the heart, and then if any words need to come out, those words are coming from the heart, not the head, because then we from the head, we want to, we overthink it, we want to fix it, we want to ask other questions what do you need?
• 0:41
  Maria Adlam: What happened?
• 0:42
  Maria Adlam: Who did?
• 0:42
  Maria Adlam: What should I call someone?
• 0:43
  Maria Adlam: We do when we can just breathe and from the come from the heart, and it doesn't have to always be words, it can just be how, a gesture of how we're holding our own body.
• 0:58
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Yeah, a bit, or yeah, it's the simple subtle things I've found coming on working with children are and teaching your kids how to do that along the way.
• 1:22
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Join us Hi there, happy listeners.
• 1:25
  Carrie Lingenfelter: It's Keri here and I'm so excited I have a new project called Conscious Family Travels on YouTube.
• 1:31
  Carrie Lingenfelter: It's all about mindfully traveling with our highly sensitive kids.
• 1:36
  Carrie Lingenfelter: We love to give tips and tools about how you can pack, how you can prepare traveling with dietary restrictions.
• 1:43
  Carrie Lingenfelter: We love to share in-depth guides of certain areas that we are traveling to, as well as some of the actual items that we use along our journey.
• 1:52
  Carrie Lingenfelter: So join us on this Conscious Family Travels journey.
• 1:56
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Hi there and welcome back.
• 2:00
  Carrie Lingenfelter: It's Keri, your friendly, intuitive mama here, and I'm so excited I get to connect with somebody.
• 2:06
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I was recently on her podcast and now I get to have the gift of having her on ours.
• 2:11
  Carrie Lingenfelter: So we have Maria Adlim with Soulful Mamas podcast here today and you guys have to check out her podcast if you haven't yet.
• 2:19
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Thanks, Maria, for being here.
• 2:22
  Maria Adlam: Thank you, Carrie.
• 2:23
  Maria Adlam: Thank you for having me.
• 2:24
  Maria Adlam: It's lovely to see you.
• 2:26
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Yeah, I'm so excited.
• 2:27
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I love connecting with you and it's so fun to talk about our spiritual tools and where it's taken us with motherhood, and I wanted to jump right in and ask you if you've always been spiritual or if that's something that you've expanded on after becoming a mom.
• 2:44
  Maria Adlam: Yeah, it's an interesting one, isn't it?
• 2:47
  Maria Adlam: I think, like many people, as a child I was very in tune and aware, but I didn't have any guidance, anyone to say, oh, that's okay, that's this or that's that, say, oh, that's okay, that's this or that's that, and.
• 3:08
  Maria Adlam: And so when I would?
• 3:08
  Maria Adlam: I remember I still remember asking my mum what are these big lights or orbs in the room?
• 3:11
  Maria Adlam: And she just said, oh, you must have just been looking at the light funny, your eyes are just adjusting.
• 3:16
  Maria Adlam: And I just so.
• 3:17
  Maria Adlam: Every time there was a, because she didn't know herself.
• 3:20
  Maria Adlam: So she just said never came.
• 3:24
  Maria Adlam: And so little bit by little bit, I shut it down and the curiosity and the wonder of what is it?
• 3:30
  Maria Adlam: I remember my best friend and I were used to just always imagine what was out beyond in space, the stars, and it was not just a little child wondering, it was a almost like a remembering interesting.
• 3:44
  Maria Adlam: When her and I connected, we had these big conversations wondering.
• 3:45
  Maria Adlam: It was a almost like a remembering interesting.
• 3:46
  Maria Adlam: When her and I connected, we had these big conversations, but it was just two children really, and without any adult guidance.
• 3:54
  Maria Adlam: So no going into teenage land.
• 3:57
  Maria Adlam: It all shut down and it probably it would keep popping up late teens, early 20s there'd be.
• 4:05
  Maria Adlam: I was forever drawn to, you know, crystals and if there's a spiritual fear in town.
• 4:11
  Maria Adlam: And I didn't really know why and it wasn't until I had a very dear friend pass away in a car accident and it really rocked my world.
• 4:23
  Maria Adlam: It's probably early 20s and he came back to me in a dream and it was so real it was, it was like he was just.
• 4:32
  Maria Adlam: It was like he was here.
• 4:34
  Maria Adlam: It didn't feel like a dream and he said I've come back, I'm here to tell you that it's okay.
• 4:44
  Maria Adlam: I'm okay Because I was in my, I think, my, last year of university and I was struggling because I lost my Nana and then him and I just what is this all about?
• 4:54
  Maria Adlam: Losing two important people in your life?
• 4:56
  Maria Adlam: And he just said I'm okay and from that it was like this weight was lifted off my shoulders.
• 5:03
  Maria Adlam: I couldn't explain it.
• 5:05
  Maria Adlam: And then I went on to finish that year.
• 5:07
  Maria Adlam: I did well and I was okay.
• 5:09
  Maria Adlam: I was actually okay.
• 5:11
  Maria Adlam: He said he gave me this gift of peace.
• 5:13
  Maria Adlam: I didn't really understand it, but it felt right and good.
• 5:17
  Maria Adlam: And when I got in my first teaching job the following year, this mum happened to be.
• 5:24
  Maria Adlam: I didn't know anything really about that, but I don't know how she started.
• 5:30
  Maria Adlam: We got talking and I told her about this dream, and I told nobody about this dream, really, because no one.
• 5:36
  Maria Adlam: Yeah, and she said do you know?
• 5:40
  Maria Adlam: There's such a stress, such a need to receive it, because that was his way of you're like at a crossroads and you can make a choice as to what path you're going to go, but allow these losses to inform and influence your life and take this path and not finish university or whatever or no.
• 6:04
  Maria Adlam: Go on and do what you're here to do and here your life and take this path and not finish university or whatever or no.
• 6:06
  Maria Adlam: Go on and do what you're here to do and here you are.
• 6:08
  Maria Adlam: So that was, that was my first knowing of.
• 6:13
  Maria Adlam: Yes, it's, there's something greater than me and I don't understand it, but it's there and it feels right and true and then fast forward probably not till I had children that it really expanded when I raced it.
• 6:27
  Carrie Lingenfelter: No, so yeah what do you think it is about us becoming mothers that helps us to expand into it again.
• 6:35
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I love that you connected with it again in your 20s and then it was quiet again for you.
• 6:40
  Carrie Lingenfelter: It comes out when you need it.
• 6:42
  Maria Adlam: It sounds yeah yeah, it's like a portal and you're going from the space and stage of maiden, so this, into mother.
• 6:52
  Maria Adlam: And it's such a rite of passage that I do feel that we it needs to be honored and respected way more than it is, and understood even this passage from maiden into this journey of motherhood.
• 7:08
  Maria Adlam: And it is like you're crossing a threshold, you're into this, go through this portal, that birth portal, into something.
• 7:15
  Maria Adlam: You come out and you're not the same, you're a different version of you and there's a honoring and appreciation of that time before children, as in those maiden years, and then stepping into this fullness of what motherhood looks like.
• 7:37
  Maria Adlam: And it is an opening, it's a mini awakening, if you like.
• 7:41
  Maria Adlam: Yeah, and I think, if we're to really be honest, all of us mothers would feel there's a shift, there's definitely a change, and it's just how much you're supported and guided through that, as to whether you might push it down or soldier on or I can do it on my own, there's all of that.
• 8:02
  Maria Adlam: But I do remember with my son when he was born Now his is a different story, but it's a big story his coming into the world, but when he was I don't know how old, a few, maybe three or four months old, a bit older perhaps he would get little chest problem not problems, just that was his area where he'd get.
• 8:29
  Maria Adlam: If he had a cold, it would sometimes go to his chest and I just I didn't understand it, but I always had this feeling when he had something wrong with his chest, my hands would warm up and I just felt like I just needed to place my hands on his chest and I didn't know why and I thought is this just me?
• 8:50
  Maria Adlam: In my as a mama, this is I just feel like I need to, because we do.
• 8:55
  Maria Adlam: When you hurt yourself, if you bang your head, you put your hands into that place, onto that place, but I just my hands would heat up and I would just feel like I needed to go and I had this.
• 9:06
  Maria Adlam: It's like a remembering or a knowing that I can help them.
• 9:13
  Maria Adlam: But then I have the ego mind saying who do you think you are?
• 9:16
  Maria Adlam: You can't have, what do you know?
• 9:18
  Maria Adlam: And so I was very much and again I didn't say anything, didn't really talk about that.
• 9:26
  Maria Adlam: And it wasn't until I had my daughter, who had even bigger challenges health-wise, where I discovered Reiki.
• 9:36
  Maria Adlam: Somebody said have you tried Reiki?
• 9:37
  Maria Adlam: Because I've tried all different things and I said I've got no idea what that is, but I am willing and open to find and try anything.
• 9:45
  Maria Adlam: And when I did, when I met my teacher I can't even describe the feeling throughout my body.
• 9:52
  Maria Adlam: It was like a homecoming it's like finally, it was incredible, incredible, and that was the that's when the door really flung open and it was like, yeah, then I really stepped into this world of where I think I, my soul, has been trying to lead me to.
• 10:13
  Maria Adlam: Okay, she's not listening, let's try this way, let's try this way.
• 10:17
  Maria Adlam: You just have to have these experiences along the journey.
• 10:21
  Maria Adlam: But, yeah, once I learnt I went to this woman for Reiki for my daughter, I thought, but really it was for myself.
• 10:31
  Maria Adlam: And yeah, I did the training and that was, and that feeling.
• 10:35
  Maria Adlam: So when I did that first training, the feeling in my hands, and then I remembered I know this feeling, I've had this before.
• 10:43
  Maria Adlam: Yes, yeah, and that was there all along, but it just wasn't refined and understood.
• 10:53
  Maria Adlam: Yeah, reiki is probably like that gateway, yes, motherhood, that portal, stepping into that and then discovering Reiki and then, but also having the people starting together, being in community or just finding the mentors and the teachers and those beautiful little guides along the way, that support, and it feels true and aligned, because my soul was just doing the happy dance.
• 11:23
  Maria Adlam: That feeling was so good.
• 11:24
  Maria Adlam: Yeah, I have so many things I want to ask you, because my soul was just doing the heavy dance.
• 11:25
  Carrie Lingenfelter: It was so good.
• 11:25
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Yeah, I have so many things I want to ask you that come with your story.
• 11:30
  Carrie Lingenfelter: The first thing that bubbled up in me when you were telling us at the beginning, when we say there's these challenges that can come at the beginning of being a mom, and how we start to have that mama intuition and that connection, that spiritual connection that we start to feel in us and it's like when we just receive that spiritual connection and we're open to it, it's such a change for us as a mom versus living in it.
• 12:01
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Right, the ego mind I can do this and it's like I can be the perfect mom in this box of what moms need to be.
• 12:09
  Carrie Lingenfelter: So that bubbled up in me.
• 12:10
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I love that.
• 12:12
  Carrie Lingenfelter: One thing I was thinking when you were talking about the three month, three or four month.
• 12:16
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I had that exact same timeline where I had things shift with my kids as well.
• 12:22
  Carrie Lingenfelter: It was I had told you on your podcast when my daughter used to sleep on me and she would only nap on me.
• 12:27
  Carrie Lingenfelter: It was at three to four months where I was doing Reiki on myself and on herself to get her to detach from me long enough to nap in her own little bassinet.
• 12:37
  Carrie Lingenfelter: So it was around that same age and it was also
• 12:39
  Carrie Lingenfelter: around that age for my first kiddo, my son, when I started to follow his cues instead of being the charge of my own cues and thinking, like he has to nap at this time, he has to eat at this time.
• 12:54
  Carrie Lingenfelter: This is the schedule.
• 12:55
  Carrie Lingenfelter: These are the eight sleep devices.
• 12:57
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Because he can't sleep with me in the bed, that's what American culture says.
• 13:00
  Carrie Lingenfelter: He has to sleep in the bassinet.
• 13:01
  Carrie Lingenfelter: That's what's safe, and it was around that time that I went release it, be yourself, connect, and it was those spiritual people around me that helped me to get there.
• 13:11
  Carrie Lingenfelter: So we love that power of community that you mentioned.
• 13:15
  Maria Adlam: Yeah, because it's so empowering to have that support, because, going through so many people, so many women do have a disempowering journey birth journey or into their parenting journey and it's when they feel within themselves what is right and true and what they would like to do for themselves, for their family, but society and whatever shape or form that looks like, it could be well-intending family and friends.
• 13:46
  Maria Adlam: It could be the ads on the television saying buy this, do this, do-do-do-do-do, and we just get so overwhelmed with all the information and all the conflicting advice and we forget to tune in to our own inner knowing, because we know we already we do know and what resonates with you and I might not for somebody else, and that's okay.
• 14:09
  Maria Adlam: We're not all meant to be exactly the same cookie cutter, but we have to find the thing that does speak to us and which means stepping more into our power of finding our voice and advocating for our children and ourselves in that way.
• 14:24
  Carrie Lingenfelter: And I don't know if it's as popular in New Zealand, where you live, because I'm in Colorado, us.
• 14:31
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I'm finding that so many spiritually connected people are starting to really talk about the kids coming in today.
• 14:41
  Carrie Lingenfelter: So I have an almost seven-year-old daughter and an almost 10-year-old son.
• 14:44
  Carrie Lingenfelter: You'll have to remind me how old your kiddos are again Curious what your thoughts are, because you were also a teacher before.
• 14:51
  Carrie Lingenfelter: What your ideas are on these kids coming in today, what their gifts look like, but sometimes their challenges or heightened sensitivity feels, and also, if you, what your thoughts are on the idea of the star seeds I don't know if you've talked about.
• 15:04
  Maria Adlam: yeah so my children are 13 and 15 well, actually nearly 13.
• 15:11
  Maria Adlam: She's in about two weeks time she's going to be 13.
• 15:15
  Maria Adlam: So she's all about.
• 15:16
  Maria Adlam: I'm really a teenager, yeah.
• 15:18
  Maria Adlam: So when I was teaching, yeah, it definitely has.
• 15:23
  Maria Adlam: It's interesting.
• 15:26
  Maria Adlam: So when I started teaching, I was in New Zealand for a few years.
• 15:29
  Maria Adlam: Then we moved to the UK and I worked in London for seven, eight years, in all different types of schooling, yeah, and all different areas.
• 15:38
  Maria Adlam: So, from the high-rise estate buildings Children never go outside to some of the most wealthy families in the city.
• 15:50
  Maria Adlam: So there was such a contrast.
• 15:52
  Maria Adlam: But so I mainly taught year one, so six, between five and seven, that age group and what I found was it did not matter if they had come from nothing money, wise, or even here or if they had everything the cook, the maid, the driver, the tutor but everything they had everything.
• 16:20
  Maria Adlam: The essence is they're still children.
• 16:23
  Maria Adlam: Their little hearts and souls are the same and their needs are the same, and we, there's something within them that needs to be met on a deeper level.
• 16:36
  Maria Adlam: So I used to always tell this, so in the private schools when I was working in there, and they would be all prim and proper and they had their little ties on.
• 16:44
  Maria Adlam: They were all cute, but they would be.
• 16:46
  Maria Adlam: The expectation from some of the families was they're going to do this and I want them to be at this level and I'm already paying for this tutoring, and so for me it was intuitively I felt like they still need to be children.
• 17:00
  Maria Adlam: They're still only six years old and they need to still be able to access that imagination and that sense of wonderment and play and they can learn and grow and evolve into who they are as a person through that.
• 17:15
  Maria Adlam: And so the children in the estate blocks that didn't have anything, they can find their imagination, even if it's just literally sticks and stones that they're finding.
• 17:26
  Maria Adlam: And then these other children.
• 17:29
  Maria Adlam: It's the same thing, and I remember telling a story.
• 17:32
  Maria Adlam: If you speak through story to children, you can capture them, and we were learning about maps and different treasure maps and different things.
• 17:43
  Maria Adlam: And so I created this story and I made this old treasure map and burnt the edges and I said it was discovered by my grandfather.
• 17:52
  Maria Adlam: And so I took them on this journey and all these different things, and it didn't matter.
• 17:57
  Maria Adlam: I told the story to whoever it was, even the prim and proper children that like question everything.
• 18:03
  Maria Adlam: And my dad says this they had their eyes would open up in wonderment and they have it up.
• 18:09
  Maria Adlam: I think I remember one little boy putting his hand up.
• 18:13
  Maria Adlam: I thought, oh my gosh, he's going to call me out on this, saying this is BS, it's not true.
• 18:19
  Maria Adlam: And he said back then I was called Miss Jack.
• 18:22
  Maria Adlam: Miss Jack, I've got it.
• 18:24
  Maria Adlam: I can see there's a little.
• 18:27
  Maria Adlam: I think it was bushland or forest or something.
• 18:30
  Maria Adlam: And he goes I think there's an X in there, I think that's where the treasure was.
• 18:35
  Maria Adlam: And because he was fully engaged in this math and this story, the whole class was.
• 18:43
  Maria Adlam: And so I realized I could have taught that lesson so differently, could have done it really structured, but they were in it and they got it and I just realized these children, they're still children and so fast forward.
• 19:01
  Maria Adlam: When I came back to New Zealand I went into ward off education and I didn't actually know a lot about it then, but again it was a soul-led.
• 19:11
  Maria Adlam: I can just go through this door you don't know why, but go and I'm again teaching five and six-year-old children.
• 19:20
  Maria Adlam: And in Wardorf that's kindergarten.
• 19:22
  Maria Adlam: We don't start formal school until they're seven.
• 19:26
  Maria Adlam: They either turn seven.
• 19:27
  Maria Adlam: It's exactly the same, but in Wardorf education that is recognised and nurtured.
• 19:33
  Maria Adlam: Yes, this imagination, this sense of wonderment, this ability to learn through story and social interaction and conversation, and it's the same everywhere.
• 19:45
  Maria Adlam: It's just children innately underneath and we just have to listen and really notice.
• 19:54
  Maria Adlam: So we also need to get curious, because when we can drop into that, we can actually see the gifts that they already have.
• 20:01
  Maria Adlam: It's already there, they already know.
• 20:04
  Maria Adlam: we put so many constraints and yeah, fit into this box and you've got to do this.
• 20:10
  Maria Adlam: And if you don't do this now, it means you can't do that later and what's going to happen?
• 20:14
  Maria Adlam: You'll never be a successful adult, whatever on earth that looks like.
• 20:17
  Maria Adlam: We get so caught up in that.
• 20:19
  Maria Adlam: But actually, if we give them permission to be, that's when their gifts they're already there, they already come online.
• 20:29
  Maria Adlam: And now I don't teach anymore, but I work with parents and I also run a play circle group where mums come with their or dads with their little ones, and that's when I noticed more and more recent, more recently, these children coming in are just such magic, but I've just stopped talking about them.
• 20:52
  Maria Adlam: They are so beautiful and they're just so aware and knowing, and so when I meet them, I feel like it's such a privilege and an honor to to connect and I can, and it's not even.
• 21:07
  Maria Adlam: You don't even need words, it's just through the connecting, like looking at one another.
• 21:14
  Maria Adlam: It was like you can eyes at the seat of the souls.
• 21:17
  Maria Adlam: You can see them and I feel quite often they know that I can see them too like it's a holding space.
• 21:25
  Maria Adlam: I'm holding space for their mums, but I'm also holding space for them and quite likely.
• 21:31
  Maria Adlam: I do believe it is them that has guided their mum to that place where they can be just supported and held in a really calm, loving environment without technology, just be, just be mum.
• 21:48
  Maria Adlam: You know that and I think I do know that they have a part to play in.
• 21:54
  Maria Adlam: I do know that they have a part to play in directing that.
• 21:58
  Maria Adlam: I can't say how and why, what.
• 22:01
  Maria Adlam: I know it's intuitive and even Starseeds.
• 22:04
  Maria Adlam: I don't know a heap about it to speak to it at depth like that, but I do know that they're coming in and they're coming in awake and they know.
• 22:10
  Maria Adlam: But also, like you're saying they have, because they've got so much here, they still need to be held and supported because it's a lot and they can be oversensitive and hypersensitive and have different and that could be to the food, to the environment, to noise, to.
• 22:29
  Maria Adlam: So it's the more we can take a step back and just breathe and notice.
• 22:36
  Maria Adlam: Get curious, then we can.
• 22:39
  Maria Adlam: They can join us in the energy too.
• 22:43
  Maria Adlam: And permission to.
• 22:44
  Maria Adlam: Okay, it's all right, I can also be as well.
• 22:49
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Yes.
• 22:50
  Maria Adlam: Yeah, there's so much.
• 22:50
  Maria Adlam: There's so many things that you're probably you're seeing it all the time as your children come with it too.
• 22:57
  Maria Adlam: But I know my daughter.
• 22:59
  Maria Adlam: She definitely needs, she needs my presence.
• 23:06
  Maria Adlam: But my presence needs to be, she needs me close.
• 23:09
  Maria Adlam: But it needs to be not filled with words, it's just a I'm here and now.
• 23:19
  Maria Adlam: When I work with children and my own children, I do something I call the sacred pause and it's just basically taking a breath to recenter so that I can regulate myself and then be able to support, offer that support to whoever the children is, and hold that space.
• 23:38
  Maria Adlam: So if my energy field is feeling calm and I'm coming from the heart, and then if any words need to come out, those words are coming from the heart, not the head, because then we from the head, we want to, we overthink it, we want to fix it, we want to ask the questions what do you need?
• 23:57
  Maria Adlam: What happened?
• 23:58
  Maria Adlam: Who did?
• 23:58
  Maria Adlam: What should I call someone?
• 23:59
  Maria Adlam: We do when we can just breathe and from the come from the heart, and it doesn't have to always be words, it can just be held, a gesture of how we're holding our own body a little bit, or yeah, it's the simple, subtle things I've found when I'm working with children that's so beautiful.
• 24:26
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I love that sacred pause.
• 24:28
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Is it something you've taught to your own children?
• 24:31
  Maria Adlam: you're two yeah, yeah, just taking a breath.
• 24:37
  Maria Adlam: And so when I work with mums I call it the sacred pause, because they can drop into that and appreciate that word a bit more now that I've got two teenagers.
• 24:46
  Maria Adlam: Sacred pause is a pull, but it is and it isn't so it's.
• 24:53
  Maria Adlam: They know what I mean and they know what I'm going to say, but I might just use the language around.
• 24:57
  Maria Adlam: It might be slightly different.
• 25:00
  Maria Adlam: Or if my son is having, you can just see children when they're having a bit of an off day.
• 25:05
  Maria Adlam: You just tell by looking at your face.
• 25:08
  Maria Adlam: But I might just sit on the end of his bed and I'll just sit.
• 25:13
  Maria Adlam: Or maybe I'm just the end of his bed and I'll just sit.
• 25:20
  Maria Adlam: Or maybe I'm just doing something near his room but not in his room, and then I might just I will sense if there's an invitation, you can come in and I'll just sit there.
• 25:27
  Maria Adlam: I won't really say much.
• 25:28
  Maria Adlam: I might just notice something in his room like oh yeah, that picture looks great, or it looks like we might need to get those shoes fixed.
• 25:37
  Maria Adlam: I'll just notice something different and then he starts to soften.
• 25:42
  Maria Adlam: If I went in there with a million questions, he would shut down and I'd get nothing out of him at all.
• 25:49
  Maria Adlam: It has to come from him and he just has to know I'm not there to hassle him and yeah, so if I'm in a when I breathe, he breathes.
• 26:02
  Maria Adlam: They're both very good and they have been over the years at asking for Reiki as well.
• 26:08
  Maria Adlam: They know when it's going to be something that will be helpful to them.
• 26:12
  Maria Adlam: I remember him, jackie, a few years ago, saying to me Mum, mum, can I book in a Reiki with you?
• 26:20
  Maria Adlam: Just the way he said it, book it in Like a client he took my diary.
• 26:27
  Maria Adlam: Yeah, he's so cute.
• 26:28
  Maria Adlam: Yeah, actually more him than my daughter.
• 26:31
  Maria Adlam: He's good at asking and sometimes for her I'll just hold her hand and it's just that exchange is going through anyway, yeah that answered.
• 26:43
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I was going to ask you if they ever ask you for reiki or if you give them reiki at times.
• 26:49
  Carrie Lingenfelter: My kids right now they ask for reiki when they're sick or when they have an owie or something, because they're seven or sick, almost seven or one of them.
• 26:59
  Carrie Lingenfelter: So, yeah, it's pretty fun for them to ask that and I think I'm trying to remember.
• 27:04
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I think my daughter imitates giving me reiki.
• 27:07
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Yeah, it's really cute.
• 27:12
  Maria Adlam: I remember going into my reiki room one day when my daughter was probably that age six or seven oh maybe younger actually and she had her I think it was her teddy bear on the table giving it Reiki.
• 27:24
  Maria Adlam: And then the next time I went in it was the cutest thing.
• 27:28
  Maria Adlam: I didn't let them know, I saw it.
• 27:29
  Maria Adlam: Both of my children were having turns, like one was on the table on the bed and the other one was giving us.
• 27:37
  Maria Adlam: But I just quietly walked away.
• 27:40
  Maria Adlam: I didn't want to interrupt that beautiful like little bubble that they were in.
• 27:46
  Maria Adlam: Yeah, you just reminded me so like a little snapshot in your mind, hey, because I don't you don't always walk around, or especially back then, with the camera taking photos, but it would have been a good.
• 27:56
  Maria Adlam: It's just something I just have to remember because it was so sweet a mental picture.
• 28:01
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I love that.
• 28:02
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I think these kids, when they're they're given so many, so much space to expand, so much space to be themselves, the support to be who they truly are, these ideas of these feelings of acceptance, unconditional love, patience and understanding, and the tools that you're teaching either directly or indirectly, like the sacred pause, and all of those pieces, they'll have it in their hearts and as they start to expand into the world a little bit more without mom in those teenage years, they'll still have it in their back pocket right yeah, exactly, and that's what you hope for.
• 28:46
  Maria Adlam: And something else that I would use with, obviously with moms too but is this once if you've had that sacred pause, then you can drop into and discern whether, whatever you need to do, it's a sacred yes or a sacred no.
• 29:03
  Maria Adlam: And I do that with my children too, because particularly my daughter, because she is very sensitive and she's so aware of everybody's feelings, so much super, so much.
• 29:17
  Maria Adlam: She takes on board everything.
• 29:19
  Maria Adlam: And so I'm working with her to give her permission to say no to some things.
• 29:26
  Maria Adlam: And she knows that she's kind, she's a kind person, and I said, so long as that delivery've, if it's coming from your heart, it will be the right thing and it will be received okay.
• 29:40
  Maria Adlam: And because she can recognize now when she's feeling overwhelmed and it's not her like the or feeling, feeling off, but it's not actually her, it's other energy.
• 29:54
  Maria Adlam: So I I also do teach them to look after the energy.
• 29:59
  Maria Adlam: So when they were younger, jack was really into knights and that sort of thing.
• 30:03
  Maria Adlam: So he would, he'd be, he'd have a knight cape and a shield, and that was his way of protecting his energy, because it just spoke to him at that point.
• 30:12
  Maria Adlam: Yeah, and then it is in life, saber, those that can.
• 30:17
  Maria Adlam: It's, it was all an intention, right?
• 30:20
  Maria Adlam: So you're making a conscious choice to look after your energy field and for maya, she that she likes, she has like a veil, a wraparound that she can visualize, and she still does it now.
• 30:34
  Maria Adlam: And I just remind them because they, yeah, they forget, because I forget sometimes and so adults forget when I'm teaching.
• 30:42
  Maria Adlam: So of course, children sometimes need reminding, yeah, that, but ideally they've got it in their back pockets in the moment, at school or wherever they are.
• 30:51
  Maria Adlam: They can remember that that, oh, I can do, I can try this and I have that power to I can give myself permission to do this because it's going to help me.
• 31:05
  Maria Adlam: Helping me is probably going to help everyone, yeah.
• 31:08
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Would you, for our listeners, would you describe how you would describe a sacral yes or no to maybe like an older kiddo, or even to an adult that doesn't know what it is?
• 31:22
  Maria Adlam: yeah, so it would start by.
• 31:25
  Maria Adlam: I always get people to start by.
• 31:27
  Maria Adlam: You can do it, if you like taking a few breaths, so I and changing breath.
• 31:33
  Maria Adlam: So you're just sitting comfortably, they're closing their eyes and they're breathing in through their nose, a big in-breath inhale and then exhale through the mouth and it just and that inhale, breathing in, and then a silent exhale, and it's just a release, inhaling and exhaling and that exhale as they're doing.
• 32:06
  Maria Adlam: There, they can start to drop the shoulders.
• 32:09
  Maria Adlam: They might need to just move their body in whichever way feels needed to, just to release.
• 32:16
  Maria Adlam: And once you've taken a few of those breaths, you can center into yourself and it's if you have a question you can ask it, it's if you have a thought that needs to have a seat at the table, something that's bothering.
• 32:34
  Maria Adlam: You give it a space to be heard, to be witnessed, and then permission to move on from this space.
• 32:42
  Maria Adlam: You're creating this bubble, this little portal, and this is the sacred pause.
• 32:48
  Maria Adlam: You are giving yourself permission to be in the sense of energy because you, it's yours we're giving yourself permission, so we'll.
• 33:03
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Can we start there?
• 33:06
  Maria Adlam: you're giving yourself permission to take a sacred pause and in that pause, that's when the intuition, your inner knowing, has an opportunity to be louder and stronger.
• 33:22
  Maria Adlam: And if there is a question you're sitting with, do I go to that event or not?
• 33:27
  Maria Adlam: That's when you, more likely, are going to hear that sacred yes or sacred no, and you'll feel it in your body.
• 33:34
  Maria Adlam: It's a yes or it's a no and whatever it is, it's honoring that and you're feeling this is the right thing for me to do, and so for children, I use the breaths all the time and that journey of inhaling and exhale and the exhale is always on with an open mouth and breathing it out, because you can feel it go and there's something within your whole body, your being recalibrates in that time.
• 34:03
  Maria Adlam: It's so simple.
• 34:03
  Maria Adlam: You can do these breaths on the go if you need to, but I will say, any time before you need to have a big conversation, a meeting, you're going to a birthday party, your friend's about to come over and you're so excited but you're also so nervous.
• 34:21
  Maria Adlam: Just take a few breaths and bring yourself back into your body and that, if we can do that throughout the day, we're keeping this balance.
• 34:31
  Maria Adlam: We're keeping our energy more in a steady flow and rather than up down, up down, up down.
• 34:38
  Maria Adlam: So the brief is so powerful.
• 34:41
  Maria Adlam: It sounds so simple, too simple, that people like that won't work, so it won't do that, but it does work.
• 34:48
  Maria Adlam: It's often the simple things that are the most profound.
• 34:50
  Maria Adlam: Yes, and that's why they are, that's why they've been created, because the ease of them, so they can actually happen yeah, yeah, that was wonderful.
• 35:03
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I, when you were doing it, I was listening and I asked a question and to hear the, I heard a yes, but it wasn't like a direct yes, it was.
• 35:12
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I felt excitement and I felt like being home and I could see like golden flashes of do it with my yes, no question yeah, that's so good because it's not a.
• 35:27
  Maria Adlam: Yes, carrie, you should do this.
• 35:28
  Maria Adlam: It's a.
• 35:31
  Maria Adlam: It's often a feeling, some, and people everyone.
• 35:35
  Maria Adlam: It's different depending on where.
• 35:37
  Maria Adlam: If you're more feeling or audio or visual, you might get these different and it's like in a reiki session and you're probably the same.
• 35:47
  Maria Adlam: I never say to people this is what will happen, because it's everybody's own experience and, gosh, so many things have happened over the people yeah my clients over the years that I can't even imagine gosh how amazing.
• 36:03
  Maria Adlam: But I'd never say you're gonna see lights, you're gonna see this grandmother's gonna come and visit you.
• 36:09
  Maria Adlam: I'm never gonna say that you never know.
• 36:12
  Maria Adlam: Yeah, you never know, but that's right.
• 36:16
  Maria Adlam: And so when we again it's controlling it if we think, oh good, brimhau's coming, I really need to see her, and then that doesn't happen and there's disappointment.
• 36:24
  Maria Adlam: We just have to be in that space of surrendering and open to receive and it will come to you in the way that is meant for you, because for some we're all different and we can hear and experience things in different ways yes, thank you so much for explaining all of this to us, and I'll have to have you back sometime, maria, because I feel like there's so much you and I could talk about, especially our passion for spirituality and development.
• 36:56
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Yeah, can you tell our listeners where they can find you, because they need to discover your podcast?
• 37:00
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I love it ah, thank you.
• 37:03
  Maria Adlam: Yeah, my podcast is called soulful mothers, so full with two l's, and I created that to try and create a village of four mums to connect and, yes, it's online, but our villages are quite fractured.
• 37:22
  Maria Adlam: Do we even have a village these days?
• 37:24
  Maria Adlam: We get so it feels so isolated sometimes, and even though we're more connected in some ways digital, online and groups groups but at the same time, we're not.
• 37:37
  Maria Adlam: So it's it's interesting.
• 37:40
  Maria Adlam: So I wanted to create a space where mums could share their stories, primarily their journey into motherhood, what that looked like, any challenges that may have arisen and how they became them, but but also what they're doing now, because a lot of them now, or us, it has the pathway, the trajectory has completely changed and here we are doing something.
• 38:03
  Maria Adlam: Teachers, you're the same.
• 38:04
  Maria Adlam: I'm a teacher too, doing intuitive counselling and Reiki, and you're similar.
• 38:08
  Maria Adlam: And for people to, for the listeners to see that journey of potential it doesn't have to be fixed and it doesn't have to be, and just because for me myself, I appear to have know what I'm doing now, I absolutely did not.
• 38:29
  Maria Adlam: When I first found out, I was pregnant with my son, so a whole different story.
• 38:32
  Maria Adlam: You have to listen to that episode because I really did it and it's a journey and it's you learn along the way and there's wisdom in the opportunities for growth along the way and that's what I loved about to share now because, if you can, that's what it is supporting other people.
• 38:52
  Maria Adlam: So the podcast is about, yeah, listening and sharing and hearing people's journeys and there's such a common thread and you're like, oh, that happened to you too, I thought that was just me and big theme of disempowerment and empowerment and just you can see where the need is.
• 39:09
  Maria Adlam: Yeah, so that's where that came from.
• 39:12
  Maria Adlam: And I also do my own little musings on.
• 39:14
  Maria Adlam: I follow the wheel of the year quite strongly as well, so what's happening in the seasons and the cycles and the rhythms of life, so that that features quite strongly there too.
• 39:26
  Maria Adlam: And my on Instagram I'm parenting with so and Facebook.
• 39:28
  Maria Adlam: I'm not the guest of social media, I have to be honest.
• 39:30
  Maria Adlam: But anyway, parenting with so is my business.
• 39:32
  Maria Adlam: I'm not the guest of social media, I have to be honest.
• 39:33
  Maria Adlam: But email Guarantee with so is my business name.
• 39:36
  Maria Adlam: All the people can contact me for.
• 39:39
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Okay, yeah, anyway, chat Wonderful.
• 39:41
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Yeah, I'll put it in the show notes.
• 39:44
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Thank you so much for being here today, maria.
• 39:46
  Carrie Lingenfelter: It was lovely to connect.
• 39:47
  Maria Adlam: Thank you for having me, it's been beautiful.
• 39:49
  Maria Adlam: Yeah.
• 39:53
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Thank you.
• 39:54
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Well, that's a wrap.
• 39:54
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Thanks so much for tuning in.
• 39:55
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Changemakers.
• 39:55
  Carrie Lingenfelter: This is Keri, and if you haven't done a review for us, five stars and a little few words about what you've enjoyed in our podcast episodes, we would really appreciate it.
• 40:06
  Carrie Lingenfelter: If you guys would like to ever message me, I would love any questions you have or any feedback at info at hearttoheartlifecom, we also have a brand new website which we're super excited to share it's hearttoheartlifecom.
• 40:21
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Thanks so much for tuning in and happy life, happy times.
• 40:25
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Changemaker families.
• 40:26
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Bye.