Latest / The Volume Shift / Embarrassingly Confident
Transcript
- Deion: Peace and blessings family. Welcome back to the volume shift where we don't just raise our voices. We shift the frequency so understanding can actually land. Jhalil: And the day we rabbing about something that always don't get discussed properly or openly, but almost everybody has experience. Deion: Embarrassment. Jhalil: And confidence. Deion: How many dreams have been delayed because someone was afraid of looking foolish? Jhalil: How many people never started their business, never spoke up, never chased the opportunity because they was worried about what people would think? Deion: Today we asking a simple question. Jhalil: Who really in control of your life? You or other people? Deion: ⁓ buck doctors, the doctors without the doctor. Jhalil: I'm Ja Lil, urban activist slash blacktivist. You know what it is. Deion: Yeah what up though? How you living? How ya feelin'? Jhalil: ⁓ man, I'm I'm on the confidence side today. You feel me? This this week. You know, bro, having the the car troubles, man, like finally scooped something up, so you know. I'm back at it, bro. I'm tired of using Toro for a minute, man. But shout out to them boys, like, real rare. They come doing the clutch when you need ⁓ but I need my bag I need my shit back on the street. Deion: Mm-hmm. Yeah, we're ⁓ yeah. Jhalil: Yeah man, how you living, man? What's going on with you? Deion: I'm gravy baby, you know, taking it day by day, living in the moment, you know what I'm saying, just figuring shit out. Jhalil: Pfft, good. Man, that's the only way to do it, bro. Cause it's like who else gonna figure it out for you, bro? Like, and then you know like you'll get caught, like, not just you. You know we'll get caught in that loop if like we don't identify what's going wrong or what's going right and and tell her our shit to those things, bro. So it's like as we get older, man, like I appreciate the fact that like We really be buckling down and and really trying solve our problems and shit. You feel me? And like we would encourage y'all to do the same, man. Deion: We're And that's why today's topic is so, you know, like beneficial, you know what I mean, to talk about and really dive into, you know what I'm saying? So we just set it off with like ⁓ what we ⁓ you think ⁓ what's ⁓ what make like embarrassment so hard, you think? Jhalil: Man, for me, dawg, it's it's that feeling, like, it's that saltiness. You feel me? It'd be like, damn. You might be thinking one thing, but then when you hear something else that's out of your, you know, out of your perspective, bro, that shit might make you feel a certain type of way, dawg. And you know, before we started, I was telling you, and plus you know anyway, you my man. You feel me? So Before that was something that I struggled with. Like I was the type, you embarrass me, you fucking done. Like it ain't no it ain't no bounce back. It ain't no none running back. None of that, bro. It's a who? You feel me? So I don't know. That's that's really how it used to make me feel, bro. Like me thinking that like I got my shit buttoned up and then hearing from somebody else that it wasn't buttoned up, that shit used to make me feel some type of way, bro. I ain't even gonna lie. But now in the vein of growing up and then becoming a grown man and being the leader of my family and all that, I realize that bro, most of that just be constructive criticism. You feel me? And and that's not a bad thing, bro. It's a difference between criticism and constructive criticism. You mean the constructive, like once you interpret it and and take heed to it, bro, and you you identify like damn, they right. That's that's something to build upon. You feel me? But criticism with no like no effect, that kind of fall into like Deion: Mm-hmm. Jhalil: I ain't gonna lie to me, that that kind of fall into hating. Like we talked about on the last episode, bro. That's like a form of hating. Like if I'm just gonna criticize you with without a remedy, without a explanation, without nothing, that's that's how I view it. You feel me? So I try to lead the criticism to the critics, like, and that's it. Deion: Yeah, yeah. Jhalil: ⁓ rap how you see it, man, like do do embarrassment hit you hard or did it at a certain point? Deion: I mean I guess to answer the question directly, I g I I'ma say yeah. You know what I mean? Like but just thinking about the question, ⁓ why does it why does embarrassment like hit so hard? And it's is like obviously like what you saying, it's the outer people, you know, and you you looking at What the outer people would say. meaning outside of you when I say outer people. So outside of you, externally like everybody around you. You only generate those feelings through like the training of each other that we do as humans, right? Like ⁓ so if you trip or something like that, right? if nobody around is no embarrassment. Right. I remember in jail, like a nigga gets slapped in the cell but nobody was around. It's not really an embarrassment. The people know the two people that's involved. You know, so he got a slight embarrassment when he around that person. But like generally because the outer people don't know, there's no embarrassment there. You get what I'm saying? So for me it's like it becomes hard. For you when you think so much about the outer people. Get what I'm saying? Like so we can go back to tripping, right? If you trip and then you take accountability for tripping and you own it, it's less embarrassment. Right? But if you trip and then like be so worried about who saw you and how it's gonna make you look and did you look goofy doing it, d you you're gonna be embarrassed and you're gonna feel that embarrassment. You get what I'm saying? Like so it's kinda like you putting it on yourself, like through your thoughts and everything like that. And you gotta really think about it, right? Because as a kid, ⁓ Jhalil: Yeah, yeah. Deion: You know, kids be doing what the fuck ever, like you know, because we done been through our embarrassments and all that shit and we done got the shit put on us by other people. Now we look at the kids like you ain't the fuck embarrassed by doing this silly shit. It's like, no, I'm not even thinking about I'm just enjoying whatever the fuck it is that they doing. You get what I'm saying? Later for the embarrassment of it because Jhalil: Don't care. Very good. Deion: They ain't even thinking about they ain't get trained yet, let me say that. You get what I'm saying? Like but at the same time, you can get the talent shows at the schools for the young kids. And if they parents laugh at ⁓ and shit like that, you know, that could, you know what I mean? Be Jhalil: Yeah. Yeah. That's a that's a damage that's gonna carry on, you feel me? 'Cause your parents, you know, like that's that's your main support group. So a kid always gonna, you know, feel like, all right, yeah, my parents gonna be there to support me. So like, yeah, like that's where you gotta tread lightly and and be delicate with that type of situation. Like real shit, bro. My young boy son, big son, you feel me, he had a ⁓ Deion: You would Jhalil: A talent show, I think it was in like sh that shit probably was like sixth grade or something. But he had he had did a little remix to to this song. And like we laugh about it now, you feel me? 'Cause like I I just told him recently, I said, Yeah, son, like that shit was ass, you feel me? We laughed about it and all that, but at the time, I pumped him, you feel me? Like Deion: Mm-hmm. Jhalil: No, you you did your thing. Proud of even all I was proud that like you even performed in front of your whole auditorium. You feel me? Like that's that's real genuine. But me personally, like, you mean I was like, yeah, that shit was trash, but it's alright. You feel I said, sorry, baby boy, you man. Like, right, right, but it it's cool, bro. So now we had a like he had a certain age, so now we can rap about certain shit. I mean, but as far as being embarrassed, dog, Jolly, man, she embarrassed me today, dog. I told you, man, we hopped in that Uber earlier, bro, and that shit was funky. You feel me? So she from the rip. She Deion: It's a fixed. Mm-hmm. Jhalil: She like, man, this is like you feel what's going on. Like she keep doing this, holding the nose, everything and you know like if you driving, you gonna look in the in the rear view man. Deion: Yeah. Beep beep beep. Jhalil: Like Moo chill, too, too, boo. I I feel you. All right, all right. Then at the one I'm like, yo, shut the fuck up. Like, real right, but I'm like, you draw it now, bro. But that was my embarrassment, you feel me? I don't even know why. I don't smell like this. But at the same time, I don't like feeling no I don't like, you know, making somebody else feel you mean a certain way. How you know what he'd go do after he dropped us the fuck off, you feel me? I'm the type of person that care about cer like care about motherfuckers feelings and all that sometimes. And I'ma say sometimes, you feel me? Like but he was a genuine dude, he was nice, spoke to us and all that, you feel me? Asked us how our day was, everything. But it's like, yo, bro. Deion: Mm. Yeah. No. Jhalil: That shit was crazy, bro. And I laugh about it now, but I definitely was embarrassed because I'm like, yo, all right, you can say it one time and chill the fuck out. Like she said that shit 17 times. Like he probably jumped out the whip and and took that shit the quick wash. Like, bro. We got no we got in the Uber on the on the way back. Other bullshit smelled good and sis. He like, yeah, see? See? Like, yeah, I'm like, yo, you out of pocket. But I can't be mad, bro, 'cause that's that's how we are when we younger. You feel me? Like we really spit our truth. Like when we get older, you know, we start bullshitting. I'm still having a conversation with you, but this shit stink. I don't even wanna open my mouth for real for real. You feel me? Like Deion: Mm-hmm. No, but like that's what we do. Like, see what you did, that's what your p mom did. Like, because she feel like You embarrassing her. Or she's embarrassing you by insulting, you know, someone, but she don't know no better. Like she she ain't get the training yet, right? Like, but this is her training, right? But at the same time, should she have gotten training? Can she be able to be free enough to like feel what she feels and it be the truth? You get what I'm saying? Yeah, we know better for kids. Jhalil: Yeah. No, not Yeah, really. Deion: You know what mean? Like kids do do some things that's like, shit, girl. Like, but it's like they ain't old as us. You get what I'm saying? And again, they ain't get the training. But at the same time, I'm like, maybe we need more less training and more like real actual practice. You feel what I mean? Cause cause cause a lot of things like we might be afraid of it, right? And we embarrassed to even say something to the driver. Jhalil: Yeah, real shit, bro. Deion: But at the same time, more people gonna get in the car. And so Jhalil: Yeah. Everybody ain't gonna be that, you mean? Deion: Right. So it yeah, we might feel an embarrassed for him, but like imagine if he got keep going through the embarrassment. Nobody's stopping the embarrassment by telling him the the truth. And and the truth could be, man, he dry that join so much, like all them different asses on the seats, it can't it right, it ain't his fault, probably nine out of the ten. Jhalil: Yeah, bro, right. Deion: He got so many asses in that joint. Like, you mean he can't control who jumped in and out. You know what I mean? But he can control like cleaning it right after. But at the same time, with the economics and everything going on, like you just keep trying to make money. You ain't you get me? But but then that embarrassment, if you guys stop making money because of that, then you will clean it up. But like it don't be. Jhalil: Right. Deion: People gotta chill with the everyday joint that feel like like you ain't human, like you ain't gonna make mistakes, like you gonna just be perfect, right? Like, like what? Like you drive an Uber, you should clean it at the It's like, bro, you live a real life too. You don't just stop and be thinking about that type shit all the day. You get me? Or if you do think about it, you like I get to it, you know what I'm saying? But I got other shit too. Jhalil: Okay, good. Deion: Going on. You get what I'm saying? You got a girl barking in your face when you come to credit, the kids this and that, like you beat from driving around all day. I ain't making excuses or nothing. I'm just saying like real life is real life. And people be put for playing like like motherfuckers can be on AQs and and everything. Yeah, it's nice to do it. You feel what I'm saying? It's but you know. Jhalil: Yeah, that's the reality of shit, like. Deion: Let's cut each other some break. You get what I'm saying? Cut each other some slack cause like if we dig into your life Jhalil: Yeah, everybody got some shit. Feel me? Deion: You get what I'm saying? And but you know, it's like that bar embarrassment can carry different weight. You get what I'm saying? Like, cause when we was coming up, like Her mom's pushed it in our shit so much that it's like to embarrass her, you was getting your ass whooped. So embarrassing things would be stuff that would make her look bad. Jhalil: Yeah ⁓ Mm-hmm. Deion: You feel what I'm saying? So I see now it's like You get a meatball and all them and I ain't trying to spot people out, but I'm just using a reference. You don't feel an embarrassment from what you were doing? And then yeah, outcome is to ju what, to be popular or to get attention or to make money, like Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Deion: That's a different type of acceptance to embarrassment. Like, you get what I'm saying? Like, if we lower in our shit to satisfy like another like another thing, you get what I'm saying? Cause if you disregard your morals and stuff like that and accept being embarrassed to get money, it's like that's what they were saying about Stephen Fletcher and all that back in the day, type shit. It's like you doing this Jhalil: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Deion: buffoonery cocoon and shit to satisfy the the masses you know I'm saying and you don't care the embarrassment that is given to the rest of the people that look like you you get what I'm saying like that shit become like real serious in a way you know I mean like so we let it roll off the tongue though don't you fucking embarrass me You know what I mean? Like I remember going into the department stores, market, anything. Don't you fucking embarrass me. Jhalil: Right, bro, that was the main thing growing up, dog. Like that sh it's crazy, bro. But it's like now as a parent, like like I ain't about to take it like that. You know dads, we don't even be on no shit like that. Like it ain't no you embarrass me, I'm a whoop like I ain't about to No, bro, we ain't doing that. But after we get out of this car I'ma have that talk with you, like Move. I understand you feel that way. You feel me? And it's fine that you feel that way. I'm not trying to change how your perspective or what you you know. I understand. But it's just the way that you handle it. It's the way that you present it. Like all right, you could say it once, but just don't keep saying it, you feel me. Deion: Yeah, 'cause we don't we wanna we wanna help people, we don't wanna hurt ⁓ Jhalil: Yeah, we're right, bro. Deion: And you'll learn the difference as you, you know, progress, you know what I'm saying? Or evolve, you know what I mean? To definitely, you know what I'm saying? And and and that's where a lot of it come from, right? Like when we was peers in school, it was embarrassing to come to school with some sneakers that wasn't clean or shit, even Jhalil: Yeah. Deion: Even when they thought that switching the uniforms would be different. Like if your uniform was dirty, it's still that embarrassment. You get what I'm saying? And especially the number one embarrassment, bro, for when you was in school was coming to school smelling like kerosene, bro. Jhalil: Okay. Yeah. See I ain't I ain't never had that John like you feel me? Like I ain't I ain't never had to witness that like or go through that aspect cause you know when I like came up a little bit after like you know they switched it up a little bit like our biggest embarrassment was coming to school smell like underarms Deion: Yeah. Right. Mm-hmm. A whole poppy store, whole beauty. Jhalil: Under arms and like stink breath and shit like that. You come to school like that, bro. That's your identity for the rest of the jump, bro. Like that shit was a bad job, okay? Deion: And you know the way we bust in Philly, right? It's like we always gotta ask questions and shit, like, you know what I'm saying? Like, damn, who's smelling like a hoagie in the straw? Like, you feel me? Like, damn. Jhalil: Yeah. And you know exactly who it is on some real shit. It be the motherfucker who quiet arms closest to the body, not moving around. Like we already know all the signs, you feel it just be that like it'd be that mass embarrassment, like that shit crazy, bro. Deion: That's a tough joint to bounce back from, bro. I I had it before, like, you know what I mean? Like, you know dirty little Philly kid, you're saying and that joint was popping. And I'm like, damn, that like niggas grind me the fuck up. But it's like, see, you can get embarrassed and they can it can fuck you up. Like. Put some insecurities on you and all that. Like, you know what I mean? The whole shebang, or it can really inspire you, motivate you to be like, No, I'm not getting embarrassed again, cuz like You feel what I'm saying? Like and and that's the one that I want for the young boys right now. Like I want y'all to feel the embarrassment 'cause I don't think y'all think about it. Like the shit that y'all doing is a misrepresenting Jhalil: Not again, bro. Fuck that. Deion: Of your mom, bro, or your dad, bro, or your sisters, bro, or your brothers, bro. You know what I'm saying? That shit is an embarrassment to your grandmom, your aunts, all of them, bro. Motherfuckers that really don't even be into nothing. They living their life, they working every day and all that. Like, you imagine like the news come on and your mom at work. And that shit is about you. And she gotta sit there, just like the kids who know that they stink, quiet. She gotta sit there quiet, like, damn. I don't want nobody to know that that's my bait. Like, you feel me? All this shit I be preaching in here to y'all and all this. And my my flesh and blood is on the jaw, embarrassing me like that. Jhalil: Sigle right out the window. Deion: Y'all gotta make it hit like that, bro. It's the only way you gonna really see this shit different, like this a fucking value shit, bro. You gotta really think about this shit like me doing this, is it gonna embarrass my folks? Jhalil: Yeah. Yeah, well yeah. Real shit, bro. And then Deion: Not about no tough shit, not about just you doing you and all that. Like life ain't about just you as an individual. This shit is a whole. Jhalil: whole collective bro and your parents and and the people that's around that raise you bro they help instill certain shit in you bro and it wasn't to be no gangster it wasn't to be no thief it wasn't to be you know man is like certain shit is like dog you you misrepresenting your family bro it's not just you bro real shit that's that's the biggest thing that I think people overlook like like they get that feeling ⁓ I'm in this shit by myself But you still live with your folks. Like, come on, bro. No, that shit is a whole team, John, cause that's the first thing the courts is looking at when they gotta lock you the fuck up. ⁓ so what what's their parents? Like what what do they do? And what's their background and d like you open the veil of everything that's going on in your family, bro? So it's like that shit Deion: Yeah. Jhalil: It ain't thorough, man. I see young boys on this drone and old heads, bro, nowadays, bro. Motherfuckers out here doing like whatever. Just to like get a little name. Just to get a little money. Whatever. Like, that shit not thorough, bro. Like, and the only way shit really gon' hit and you become successful is doing shit that's of you. You feel me? Like, that's that's the real genuine hit, like when that shit matters, dog. Your people's turn on the TV, not just the news. They see the news and it's some positive shit. Now that's that's that's what it is, bro. That's where the confidence comes in and all that. But when you wanna join, you robbed the pizza man and and shot him out of fear or some bullshit, bro. That's embarrassment for your whole family, bro. Like what are you doing? And for yourself. Deion: Mm-hmm. Good. Would you say to him if he say this my life, man? This is my life. You know what I'm saying? I gotta I gotta live it the way I I wanna live it. Jhalil: Yeah, right. Yeah. But that shit definitely don't be the case, bro. And that's the reason like I think most of our shit fucked up. Cause we so like individual. Like everything's so individual, bro, like that it's like, damn, we don't really got no team. So it force you to look elsewhere. You feel me? Like it force you to look elsewhere, like man. Deion: And it's that separation, like, because you out in the streets, your family not experiencing that same thing. So you don't got somebody to talk to in-house about it. Or you don't want them to know about it. You get what I'm saying? So that becomes the disconnect there. You get me? And then you start having those individual thoughts that that start getting bigger and bigger. You get what I'm saying? Like, I remember just being in the streets, like, you miss family functions, all the cookouts and shit. Motherfuckers expecting to see you and all that. It's like, no, you you 'cause you out there, you get what I'm saying? Like, so I get all that shit and it's like Jhalil: Yeah, ⁓ Deion: When you living like that, you just don't think about it. And I th I think that's that's best while we doing what we doing, cause it's like we gon' put it there so that you can think about it. You get what I'm saying? Cause I we didn't have nobody to to change our perspective on what it 'cause if you currently like I tell people all the time, like if you in something, it's hard to see outside of it. You gotta really Like pause and then step out and then look. That take a lot. You feel what I'm saying? Jhalil: Yeah, real shit. I see why you went. Deion: ⁓ Jhalil: Shit, bro. So yeah, you can see it while you in it, bro. And it's like that shit, like, dog, it still like kinda fucked me up to this day, bro. Like, even with the shit with dies, you feel me? Like, bro, I like I really had to find out in the streets, like that. My youngin' was a fucking gangster. You feel me? Like I had to find out he really doing shit in the streets, bro, from the streets. Like Deion: Yeah, before. Jhalil: But at the same time it's like, damn, bro, I ain't never had that opportunity to really bust it up with him, like, yo, bro, like, no, like this da da da da da da da. Let's try this. Let's do this. Like, I ain't had that opportunity 'cause I was on some individual shit. You feel me? Trying to get my business off the ground, married, doing this, doing that, you feel me? So I missed that chance, bro. So it's like that shit still kinda haunt me to this day 'cause I'm like, damn, bro, like even if I could have got I could have rap with him, listen, offered him something some opportunity a a different way, you feel me? So it's like that's why, bro, we gotta stop carrying it so individualistic, like, you feel me? Your family is your family, dog. That's your tribe, dog, and we gotta we gotta rock like that. Cause if not we lose out, bro. And it's like, damn, bro, I really lost my young boy, dog. Deion: Yeah. Jhalil: What do you want? Just talk. But yeah, like so yeah, I be thinking about that shit all the time. Like, man, being an individual and and having my shit set to like, damn, I gotta do this, I gotta do this, I got I ain't really get to see what everybody else needed that's around me. You know what I mean? So, you know, like in the volume shift stage of my life, it's like, nah, bro. I got all eyes open, bro. I got the rear view in effect. I got the side view. I got you mean got a little bit more time for for side missions and everything, just to make sure, bro, that like people interpret this information right, you mean? Deion: Yeah, for sure. So it yeah, man, and ⁓ you know, that was definitely a hard draw. You know what I mean? Cause we all got them same stories, like and we not superhuman, we just regular human, right? Like we can't be everywhere and you know I mean, like and in this regime, we don't really control Shit for real, you get what I'm saying? S so it's kinda hard to put it all on on ourselves. You know what I'm saying? Because one one we was told to be individuals, stand on you too, right? Like stand on your business and all of that, right? But at the same time too, like a lot of that come from all the stuff that was stripped from us before. Like, you know. Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Deion: It takes a village to raise a child and to maintain a relationship. So you had the family inclusive in in all the decisions. You get what I'm saying? Like, but you know, in the vein of our capture, you know, they wanted to divide that all of that up. So it's no wonder like the family is all broken up like that. You get what I'm saying? Like. Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Deion: Sis out doing whatever she doing, bro outdoing whatever he doing, pop, mom, whoever, whatever the the foundation is, like everybody's on an individual joint. You get what I'm saying? And then you taught, like, not to really deal with the real shit, just kind of push it and keep on moving. Like, you get me? So you kinda don't even got the time to look like. Jhalil: Yeah. Yeah, bro, it's no time. Like the way this shit's set up right now, it's like, man. Like remember how bills used to seem like once a month? Like real shit, bro. Bills used to seem once every once in a while, but like nowadays, bro, this shit seemed like every other day is another bill. And I'm like, damn, bro, so that shit had you on overdrive all the time. Is is making paper, making sure the family's straight. Making sure the car cool, making sure this cool, making sure that's cool. But at the same time, it's like it's never enough time to make sure yourself is cool. Make sure around the the people around you is like cool. Like how y'all feelin'? How y'all living shit? Like, you feel me? Cause we all going through the same shit. And it's like, if we not goin if we gonna keep this individual lifestyle up, bro, that's how it's gonna continue to be. Deion: Yeah. Jhalil: So it's like, bro, we we gotta like, yeah, be individuals and, you know, set our own trails to blaze and all that, bro. But like we gotta figure out a way to do that shit in unison, bro. Like we gotta figure out a way, bro, to get together and link up, cause that shit lighten the load on everybody, bro. All these other races is like building pots and doing this. All right, well, yeah, every month we gonna put this amount in the joint, da da da. Deion: Why Jhalil: at the end of the month, this person get it. We gonna keep doing that shit every time till everybody in the circle get the shit. Everybody get the pot. Like we gotta start really establishing and doing that shit in our families and our friend groups and all of that shit, bro. So now it's like damn, if my man he about to get signed, let's put some bread up and and do this. So then now like if he gotta do this and do this, it's his month for the pot. Deion: Mm-hmm. Jhalil: You feel me? I need to buy some business equipment. All right, let's do that. Next month I get the pot. You tryna buy some more you you some cribs to fix and flip and all that. All right, well d next month you get the pot. Now it's like, all right, we all can you mean? Like, but we gotta implement those type of tests, bro. Like And this shit like at this point is non-negotiable, bro. If we wanna change, if we wanna do more positive shit and help each other out, bro, that's the way to do it, dawg. Deion: 'Cause you gotta get in t you gotta get tired of the embarrassment. Jhalil: Yeah, right, bro. Deion: You know what I mean? Like, that's embarrassing though to be to be the top people, but then the lowest people. Like everybody get everything from us, but then we don't you know what I'm saying, benefit or produce, like, or be the owners of the production. You get what I'm saying? And so that should be embarrassing enough, like to one, like step our game up. You feel me? Like. Jhalil: Yeah. Deion: and not be represented by doing embarrassing things to continue to entertain, you know, the the the ⁓ the regime that's in charge, you feel me like you know, I'm not dancing for them guys no more, you feel me? Like not dressing up in anything to do the nah. You know what I mean? Like my art gone demonstrate like my morals. Not just doing this shit, you feel me? Like you could look at comedy and be like, yeah, that should ⁓ you know the art of comedy but it's like Jhalil: Yeah. Deion: You a man, bro, dressing up and being pretending like a it's like nah and I remember like Martin and all of them were saying that and I'm like, I get that. But now I'm really looking at it, I'm like, If we was in a in a regular world where we ain't had slavery and we wasn't conditioned and all that, and then you did that, it'd be it'd make more sense to me. But it's hard to like it hard it's hard to think about that without the other stuff making it seem buffoonery like. You get me? Like if we ain't had a slave shit, it would be cool. It'd be like, ⁓ yeah, he's doing the art. But it's like when the Jhalil: Yeah yeah. Deion: When the people that's in charge of it and all of that is who they are and they got a different type of agenda or intention for this is embarrassing more or less. You get what I'm saying? And I would look at it like that if I was the in charge of the regime. Like, damn, these niggas would do anything for this this fake shit that we printed on the paper, like, you know what I mean? And made everybody believe. That this was the power or this is what they need to live and all that. Like, you get what I'm saying? Like, we all been fooled. That shit is embarrassing for me, bro. I feel so embarrassed to have got f fooled by some fools. And I know y'all I know niggas know what I'm talking about because if you look at somebody below you. Jhalil: Yeah. Yeah. That's true. Deion: And then they can trick you? What that say about you and shit. You feel me? So it's like you you be embarrassed, like how the fuck the that's why a lot of times when people get cheated on and they the the ones that they feel is the higher up, they the one feel a type of way, 'cause it's like, bitch, how dare you? I gave you a chance and then you gonna like do me like that? You get what I'm saying? So All of that falls in the same category to me, you get what I'm saying? Like that type of embarrassment, man, and and you know, it could it could d like I said, it could stare you all kinds of ways. You get what I'm saying? Like we said in the beginning. You know, you embarrassed to take that ass whooping in front of everybody, right? So your win and your confidence booster to get out the embarrassment is to kill a killer person. Jhalil: Yeah. Yeah. Deion: I'm trying to figure out. I'm like I think I would be more embarrassed if I gotta go to the lymphs to kill somebody because they treated me than the actual them treating me. Jhalil: Yeah, bro, shit. Cause you throw your life you throw your whole life away in that in that mixture, bro. Like once you decide to take it to the extreme and do some shit like that, you throw everything that you built away. Your whole like natural essence. And it's like once you get to thinking like this and you get a little older, you get a little wiser, bro, that shit bring you into our next topic, like Once you able to, you know, really like fight the embarrassment, not even fight it, but like roll with it and just, you know, not take it as embarrassing, but take it as like a fell forward type John. You feel me? That's when you build your confidence. And it's like, you know, the confidence, it comes from like being real and keeping it real with yourself and keeping promises to yourself and and actually doing the things that you putting out there. You feel me? So it's like At one point it's like, all right, it's a learning stage when you younger. So we understand that. Like we ain't saying young boy you gotta be perfect. We ain't saying young sis you gotta be perfect from the rip. Like, but that embarrassment, bro, take that as like advice for them not to have to say nothing like that again. Don't take it as the fact that like, all right, well now I gotta get rid of this person because they embarrass me. Nah, bro, that that just means you lost the fight. You lost the war. Feel me, cause your life is way more important than a feeling. That's gonna be temporary. You feel me? Like on some real shit. So like always remember like confidence is not like it ain't really something that you just born with. Like real shit is something that you learn. Like you you gotta learn how to feel it and you gotta learn how to adapt and and keep it real with yourself and you know, shit like that. And that's that's what builds your confidence. Feel me? Every time you show up, you build your confidence. So just keep that in mind, y'all. Like real rap. That's that's the that's the jewel for the night, bro. Like embarrassment, yeah, that shit hurt at the time and all that. When you keep it real with yourself, keep it pushing and tighten up. That's the best confidence build, bro. Nobody can take that away from you. Deion: Yeah. Well suge and like you know just to add on is like at the end of the day what you tryna accomplish don't get accomplished. Like I still it was still funnier. It was it was funny it was It was more funnier him whooping your ass than you shooting and killing him. You get me? Because now it's like I still ⁓ anytime somebody think about you killing them, they gonna think about you him whooping your ass first. So you you that don't top him. Only thing that only thing only thing that could top it, like you said, is the confidence, right? Jhalil: Yeah, yeah. Loss, bro. Deion: The confidence to get back up, dust your shit off, go back in the in the mirror, get some you know me, punches in and ⁓ go back out there and fight again. Show the show the people that you confident enough to get knocked down and then come back and fight again, bro. You feel me? And then a f you know, it's two ways in the hood that somebody has stopped fucking with you, bro. You either whoop their ass real good, you feel me? Like what and like, you know, or it's Jhalil: Yeah. Deion: It's that scenario we just was talking about where they whoop your ass and then you come back and kill ⁓ or whatever, right? But then it's like You could come back and fight again and build your confidence. Like no matter if I lose or not, I'm just gonna keep fighting and then people respect you for that and then they not gonna wanna fight you no like you know what I'm saying? Like, no, I'm not gonna fuck with him 'cause he will fight. He probably fight until like he gonna be drawn. Like I gotta really beat him the fuck up 'cause he ain't gonna get tired like. You feel me? Like he that confident that after a while he gonna win. You get what I'm saying? So those are those things that you gotta really just understand. That shit is backwards. Don't don't get embarrassed and go get a joint and and and fuck your whole shit up. No, build your confidence, come back and and and even if you don't get yours, like you get the win. You still get the win because you was confident enough to come back to it. Other niggas check out, man, that check out shit is the weak shit. You know what I mean? Like and for a person to say some words to you and y'all get into something that's weak. You are weak. Niggas if I'm your enemy, I look at that and I say, Yeah, I'm gonna get you because that's a sign of weakness. Like that mean anything I say and do, I can move you, bro. I could Jhalil: Rap, that's like sticks and stones and words can hurt you like dang. Deion: And and I'ma tell you I'ma tell you who's the master of it. The fucking women. So now you taking on the the that from a woman, bro. That's not no manly shit. That's from a woman. When a woman wanna turn you up, what she do? Jhalil: Push your buttons. Deion: Bitch, pussy, dick You know what I'm saying? So if you moving off of that shit, like they gonna be pep ⁓ what you call it, ⁓ puppet mastering you all your whole shit, bro. You feel me? Like you don't wanna be no fucking puppet master, you know I mean under the puppet master, bro. Like nah, that's embarrassing. You know what I mean? Jhalil: ⁓ right, no. Yeah, bro. And when we and when we talk about this confidence too, like it's not saying that like all right, 'cause people might not understand what confidence is, bro, but like confidence is not like thinking that you, you know, you better than everybody, you bigger than the program or none of that, dog. It's just like knowing that you enough. Like, whatever you putting out here and this thorough and this is at your capacity, bro, is enough. And there's like is enough to show that you still growing and still trying and still believing yourself, bro. That's the main thing. It's always gonna be times where you fail. It's always gonna be s times, young boy, where somebody got the bigger bag. It's always gonna be times, sis, where her her her flow just might be a little better than yours. It's cool though. You feel me? Like you don't you don't take that and and get embarrassed. You don't take that and and do nothing else with it. You you take that and you grow from it. You feel me? If there's something that's that you looking to be your potential in your life, you gotta work towards it. You feel me? And each little task that you do help build your confidence. Like, you feel me? It been times where we was in rooms, like me and wifey doing business, bro, and we the smallest company in there. We went to a joint with like at like DuPont Environmental, you feel me? So the speakers at the Joan, the keynote speakers, bro, they like, yeah, ⁓ our company did five hundred million, our company did a billion, our da da da da da da da da da da da. We like damn. But we wasn't embarrassed, you know why? Because these is third generation, fourth generation. Like they grandpa's Like the grandpops and grandfathers and grandmothers started this shit eighty years ago. We first generation. You feel me? So for us to even be in that room with these same people and for them to invite us to that room Use confidence boost, bro. I don't give a fuck about the cash. Cause you want the small man, the the man that's still building and still grinding, the team that's still grinding to be in there amongst you. Deion: We Jhalil: Feel me, so that was a huge confidence boost. Like, you mean and ain't take it as like embarrassing because our bag ain't big is theirs. Like, fuck the bag. They know the competition is is you mean, like, they know the fight, the drive, the determination is there. That's why they invited us to this place. You feel me? And we use it as such. You mean? So it's is life won't always show you, bro. It's not about comparison. Like it's not about none of that, dog. It's about growing and building yourself to the best version of yourself. You feel me? And we want y'all to know that, dawg. Like it don't matter what stage you in, if you just started your business, if you thinking about a business, if you thinking about going back to school, if you went to school but you failed this semester, is it's cool. You still that's a fail forward. Yeah, man, you you growing. It's alright, bro, and we we Got your back, bro. That's still that's still a win to us, bro. Cause it's people who like let embarrassment stop them from doing shit. You feel me? And we don't that's that's not the goal for us. It's not the goal for anybody, bro. If you see somebody struggling and just a little kind word, yo, keep doing what you're doing. Like, it's it just might not be a season. Remember, bro, we used to struggle at the end of the year. In our first couple years, bro, like we always struggled at the end of the year. It was I mean, and we had a couple talks and then like we start changing our our vocabulary. We start stop talking that shit into existence. So now it's like Deion: Also like also not to cut you off and shit. Learning. You know what I mean? That replaces all the other stuff because now you're building your confidence by knowing what you're doing. Knowing what you're talking about. You get what I'm saying? Like you can never feel embarrassed if you know what you're talking about. You get what I'm saying? So you gotta do your research. You gotta go through experiences. You gotta like, you know what I mean, ask questions all the time. You know what I mean? Like you definitely gotta do all of that. Jhalil: Yeah. Deion: And it builds confidence. That that that definitely ⁓ push more confidence in you to learn even more. So you can keep growing and evolving, you know what I'm saying? Jhalil: Yeah. Deion: But I say this too. ⁓ I don't think was you finished your thought, my fault. Jhalil: ⁓ yeah, yeah, I was finished go ahead. Deion: So I think like the biggest joint for us, right, especially in the city, is like now that we talking about it, I'm thinking about it like all the things that we wanted to do in the hood, bro. You know what I mean? Like But you thought it would be embarrassing if you did it, 'cause you wanted to be this coliber of a person or looked upon as this version or whatever, not. You get what I'm saying? Like, 'cause the hood teach you right, like you gotta be looked at at a certain joint, you feel me? Like tough, you know what I'm saying? Stand on two and and like you rep or whatever. But it's like and other people look at us like, that's embarrassing. Like, what why would you scoop that low or reduce yourself to You know what I'm saying? But we we in the hood, we don't look at it like that. You feel me? So it's like that embarrassment stopped a lot of people from being who they was gonna be. And I just wish we had that confidence, you know what I'm saying? Them just be like, no, this is my destiny, this my journey, this is what I supposed to be doing. I can't motherfucking help it. I keep walk waking up every day wanting to do this. You get what I'm saying? Like I live, breathe, and die doing this. You get what I'm saying? Like, and and that's I'm like I still love to do music, bruh. I still love to rap. I I still love to use the art as the way that I talk and speak to people because I don't talk a lot. So I use music to really be seeing my shit, you feel me? And for a long time going through the thirties and all that, I'm like, nah, that's gonna be embarrassing, bro. Like I ain't trying to be no old nigga rapping, just starting out and all this. You imagine if I would try and pursue it for real, for real. And it's like you got people around you looking at them like they looking at you like nigga, you don't go get a job and sit your old ass. You get what I'm saying? So I wish early on I was like, man, I don't be confident and just say, fuck it. You know what I mean? But I done did that so many times, twenties, thirties. And and it just stopped after a while. It's like, all right, now I'm just doing me. I don't give a it's like it took me to be a real grown up adult man to be like, I don't give a fuck about none of that. But you still see it, you know what I'm saying, creeping out, cause obviously, right? I don't I I don't got my gripper right, so I'll be like, I ain't good on that job. But it's like, you feel me? Like Jhalil: Okay. Mm. Deion: I'll weigh that one and be like, nah, like I tell you feel me? Cause like I look at it like I still wanna remain with my confidence. You know what I'm saying? And yeah, it is looking at other people looking at me and what they would say and all that. But it's like I don't wanna see it either though. Like you get what I'm saying? So I'm like, no, I just wait, you feel me? And and do what I had to do until then. I wasn't gonna stop the show, you feel me? But definitely ⁓ you know, utilize other other things to to to to deal with it, you know what I'm saying? But even if it do come out, and it did in a couple of johns when I was editing it, I'm like, ⁓ shit. I'm like, I don't give a fuck, fuck it, it's there, you get me? I'm not gonna call everybody, yo, we gotta reshoot. You get what I'm saying? It's like Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Okay, yeah, yeah. Deion: Plus, you know, I'm who I am, so I'm confident enough if it did, it's like, all right, cool, whatever. Yeah, you know, it'll die out, it'll go away, whatever. As the elders w used to say, like, this shell too pass. Yeah. Jhalil: Yeah, yeah. Right, bro. And it's like, dog, once you come out, like you mean, once you it's it's just something how like life plays out funny. Like, you feel me? You might be like, all right, fuck it, I'm done. I don't I don't even care. And then the solution be right there. The the solution or whatever happened the next day. Deion: You feel what I'm saying? Yeah, what you gonna ignore it? Jhalil: we get so caught up on like how we want shit, how we think it should be, bro. And and like that shit I think it just knock us back a little bit. You feel me? Like Deion: A lot of it though be us on how we gonna be viewed. You gotta think about it, right? Confidence really comes from not being cocky, not being arrogant, but like being like I love me regardless of y'all loving me. I think arrogance and all of that is attached to confidence because they don't want people to be confident. They try and steer you away from being confident. It's like, no, bro. Jhalil: Yeah. Deion: You gotta be the fuck confidence if nobody's be 'cause the way you view you is the way the world gonna view you. Jhalil: Yeah, for sure. Deion: So if you don't accept how you look, that's how it's gonna come out. You get what I'm saying? Like, you try and put all this hair on your hair because you don't like being bald headed and all this. And you come out, the results, you wonder why they're in your comment grinding you the fuck. It's like, come on, stop it. You feel what I'm saying? Like, you lack confidence, not hair. Jhalil: Yeah, bro. Deion: I don't give a fuck how much you add on. You look like that's what you try and cover up. So why you try and go out and cover what you think is embarrassing, you're now embarrassing yourself even more by not being yourself. It's everybody that don't be themselves is very obvious. I want y'all to fucking know. Like it's very obvious. Jhalil: Yeah, we're oaster. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the most obvious, like once you not being yourself, bro. And it's like people fell in love, but like I don't know, like how I look at it, like with even being successful, right? People like seem more concerned with looking successful than like being successful. You feel me? Like. Like you'll ready to look successful by like dressing your shit up with all the fancy shit and doing all of the things instead for turning your hustle up. Instead of turning your learning up. Turning your vulnerability up. You feel me? Like certain things, bro, like it it'll bring you way closer to success than just like looking apart. Like, yeah, you gotta look the part. But sometimes, bro. You gotta just man, fuck it. I got this one suit, it got a hole in it. But this suit is better for me to go do this than the not have the suit at all. You feel me? Like so sometimes you gotta make the sacrifices, bro. And that's what it is. Like we can't worry about all that, like trying to look successful for everybody else and you know me, trying to fit the the role for everybody else, the the like and all of that other shit, bro. Cause at the end of the day, it's for you. You feel me? Like what you feelin' and what you wanna do and what you aspire to be, like that's according to you. You feel me? Like it don't really fall on nobody else. So it's like, yo, you could be bald, one eye, half a beard, whatever. If you got the personality and it fits you and you're being yourself, that shit gon' win. You feel me? Like we see it every day on social media, bro. Like Deion: Mm-hmm. Jhalil: Some people who look crazy but they're themselves. And then they some of our best motherfuckers that we might follow or whatever. Feel me? Is that the the being genuine, bro? That's that's really what it's about, like. So we need to stop just trying to look successful by going to buy Louie bags and going to buy every pair of ⁓ new drones that come out and all that, bro. That shit don't really mean nothing, bro. That's just things. Deion: Words Jhalil: And everybody can do that shit. Like, you mean? 'Cause even if you can't afford it flat out, you can do after pay. You could do this. You could like you feel me? So that's not really the flex, bro. The flex is really putting your time and effort in something and then watching it blossom. You mean that's that's the real that's the real confidence boost right there. Like Knowing that you lost all your shit or you had to build it from scratch and then now it's doing something. Like, that's the confidence boost, bro. That's what we chasing right there, like. And sometimes that rule get lonely. It is what it is, bro. But like just believe, like, once you know and once you really put it in and it start happening, all that stuff that you did went back and it's gonna come, bro. Real shit. Deion: Okay. ⁓ You just gotta ask yourself, right? Like is it more embarrassing? that people around you see you doing what you wanna do with yourself, whatever it is, or like that you don't end up doing what you wanna do in your life. Like, you know what I mean? Like is that more embarrassing or the other way and shit? Jhalil: I think is the second one bro. 'Cause it's like I Deion: Cause I'm I'm I'm embarrassed. Like I'm embarrassed, like, you know what I'm saying? For for not having that confidence enough to do my shit early. Like, you get me? Not not regret it r regretful or nothing, you get me? Like, cause, you know, we still doing honorable shit. You know what I mean? Like, and maybe that was my road anyway. You get what I'm saying? But neither here or there. The point I'm making is like, you gotta weigh that shit. You get what I'm saying? Like, and early on, we didn't know to weigh it. Jhalil: De Deion: Like, damn, I got these options and shit. I love that we got so many options now. And because we can see through social media, we see a lot of young boys not taking that route, too. So I see a lot of young boys, whoever y'all calling YNs and all that. I see what they're doing in the pooch ice masses and the track suits and all that, but like. Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Deion: I see a lot of other young boys too that's not on that at all. Like you get what I'm saying? And they confident enough to do them. And it's so crazy because you know, back then we used to look at like if you wasn't popular or part of the cool crowd or whatever, it was embarrassing to to be you, like a nerd and all that. And it's like the real embarrassment was on us. Cause we was pretending and faking and being who we wasn't. Like, you know what I'm saying? It's like you look back now, everybody wish they was just them. Jhalil: Yeah, real shit. Deion: That's why I say other people hindsight, the youngest gotta take advantage of it. Like, ⁓ I see how they you know me. You just 40 trying get this and that and this do that. And then they don't get too cocky and and I'm talking about cocky in this instance or arrogant to where as though you like, ⁓ we got all this technology, we making real money now, you know what I mean? We don't that you don't wanna learn nothing or you don't think you can learn something from other people's experiences or or their hindsight. You get me? Like don't get that that ain't confident. Jhalil: Yeah bro. And I want some real shit, bro. Like, we don't control none of that shit. Like we just users of it. Like, you feel me? So any day, bro, they can cut the power to that shit. And then now it's like a start from scratch. Like they can like just how social media came out, just how iPhones, all that shit came out, bro. Like that shit can get wiped off. You feel me? So it's like We we gotta keep that humble too at the same time, bro. Especially if it's not something that you created. Even shit that that we done created before then got wiped out or transferred the ownership to you, like so that's that's just not the way, bro. Real shit, dog. And like learning from the people that came before you, that's always a benefit. And like just like us. Learning from the people who came from after us is a a fucking plus too. And keep us relevant. You feel me? Cause if we just getting older and we like, no, fuck with the youngest talking about nigga, we gon' be old and corny. You feel me? Like we ain't gonna know what's going on. We ain't gonna know what's shaking how to like how to dress, how to do nothing. So it's like that connection, bro, that's that's what bring it all together, bro. The old school with the new school, bro. The present Deion: I'm ⁓ Jhalil: with the past. Like real shit, bro. It gotta be that collaboration, that connection, bro. Cause like, just cause you do it now, that don't mean you was the first person that did it. So you mean that that means you gotta look at somebody in the past, bro. You mean? So it is what it is, bro. We gotta stop comparing. Like stop doing this and and stop thinking just because, ⁓ yeah, well Deion: And even Jhalil: They this age, so they can't do it. They bro, you know the president, bro, like every president that we get is like over 70. Nigga, that's like, come on, bro, that's that's probably the most important job in our country. You know, but you gotta be a certain age to even get in that, you know. So what about in that instance? Deion: Said before we close, you said ask yourselves. Jhalil: Man, just something to think about, you feel me? Deion: what would I do if I wasn't afraid of being embarrassed? Jhalil: Yeah, whose opinion has too much influence over my decisions? Deion: Am I strengthen to fit in or growing into who I'm meant to be? Jhalil: See, confidence ain't about fellin'. Deion: It's all about getting back up without letting the embarrassment write your story. Jhalil: 'Cause every successful person has been laughed at, doubted, or misunderstood at some point. Deion: Difference is they kept going. Jhalil: Maybe that's the challenge for all of us. Deion: ⁓ performing for approval. Jhalil: Start living for the purpose, you mean try to throw up the pee, but that joint was fucked up. Deion: And we'll catch y'all on the next episode. Stay authentic and stay confident, you're be and courageous. Jhalil: And keep seeing and keep shifting the volume too, man. Real rap, bro. Like we gotta have these raps. Had these back to backs and you know, keep growing, bro. Start improving your community if you don't like what's going on. Start collaborating, man. Young boy, you can learn something from that old head. Ooh head, don't think you can't learn nothing from that young boy, bro. Let's really put this shit together and and cook it up, man. That's the only way it's gonna happen, bro. So let's let's focus less on being embarrassed and focus more on building our confidence. You feel me? Deion: Mm-hmm.