Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / The most dangerous times in a toxic relationship with a narcissist
Transcript
- 0:00What is going on beautiful people?
- 0:02I am Lee Hammock, the diagnosed selfaware narcissist known as
- 0:05mental illness and welcome to another episode of the
- 0:07Narcissist code. This is the first time I see in
- 0:09my face. I use my platform on social
- 0:11media to raise the wordness for narcissistic personality
- 0:13disorder, get more people in the therapy and also validate the
- 0:16victim, survivors and thrivers of said disorder, said toxic
- 0:20people said toxic traits. Today's episode is going to be
- 0:23about the most dangerous times in a toxic relationship with a
- 0:27narcissistic person. Before we hop into today's
- 0:30episode, y'all make sure you hop over to Amazon if you haven't
- 0:33already. Check out my self love journal,
- 0:36Lee Hammock. I love me a Self love Journal to
- 0:38help you rebuild their self love, appreciation and power.
- 0:42You know, do it before doing or after a toxic relationship.
- 0:46But yeah, y'all yeah yeah, yeah. Welcome, welcome, welcome to
- 0:49this episode. Some of the most dangerous times
- 0:52in a toxic relationship. So one of the most dangerous
- 0:56times is when you're confronting A narcissistic person.
- 0:59It just is confronting A narcissistic person is it can
- 1:03very well be dangerous. That's what I tell people all
- 1:06the time. You see if you've you didn't
- 1:07follow me for any period of time.
- 1:09If you haven't followed me, go ahead and hit the hit the
- 1:11subscribe button now. But if you if you didn't follow
- 1:14me for any period of time, you know that I always tell people
- 1:17you don't need a confession from a narcissist.
- 1:20So many people like when you have evidence of them doing
- 1:22something, when you want to hold them accountable, when you want
- 1:26them to show some type of contrition or remorse or
- 1:29something like that. You want to confront them.
- 1:31And just like I need, I need you to admit this y'all that could
- 1:35be dangerous for you because that narcissistic person hates,
- 1:39hates, hates hates with a capital H capital A little T
- 1:44capital ES hates us, hates, hates being held accountable,
- 1:50hate hate to y'all because accountability and
- 1:53responsibility bring on this shame monster.
- 1:58Y'all know I say shame is monstrous in the lives of
- 2:01narcissistic people. Shame is a great provocation for
- 2:05narcissists, and when you're trying to hold them accountable,
- 2:08you're bringing shame into their life.
- 2:09And they will do. A lot of narcissistic people
- 2:11will do anything to avoid shame. They'll yell at you.
- 2:14They'll scream at you. They'll put their hands on you.
- 2:17They'll threaten you. They'll set you up to get hurt.
- 2:20They'll. Yeah.
- 2:21Some of them might actually send you to meet your maker.
- 2:25You see what I'm saying? Some of them might actually send
- 2:28you to meet your creator. You know, if you're a believer
- 2:32and if you're not a believer, they're like they'll they'll
- 2:34make you cease to exist. You see what I'm saying?
- 2:38You just have to be very, very careful when you're trying to,
- 2:40when you're trying to confront a narcissistic person.
- 2:42We're trying to hold them accountable.
- 2:44You know what I mean? When you're trying to do stuff
- 2:46like that, when you have the evidence, you have the proof, it
- 2:48can be a very dangerous time for you.
- 2:49I'm not telling you. I'm not saying don't do it.
- 2:52I'm not saying healing silence. I'm just saying if you have
- 2:54proof, if you have, you know, you don't need to confront them
- 2:58necessarily. You can take it, act on it.
- 3:01If you want to leave. Leave.
- 3:02You know what I'm saying? Just be very, very careful with
- 3:05your decision making process right here.
- 3:06Make a plan, make a plan. I'm not telling you again, heal
- 3:09out loud. If you want to heal out loud,
- 3:10you don't have to heal in silence.
- 3:11You don't have to suffer in silence.
- 3:12You've been suffering in silence long enough.
- 3:14You know another dangerous time in toxic spaces with
- 3:18narcissistic people? Toxic people is when another
- 3:23dangerous time is when, like I said, when you're trying to hold
- 3:26them accountable, when you catch them something like that.
- 3:28Another dangerous time when you expose them.
- 3:30Exposure. Exposing a narcissistic person
- 3:33can be very, very dangerous because we, most people know
- 3:38that narcissistic people talks to people like to have a good
- 3:42reputation, like for the reputation to be on point, like
- 3:47for people to view me as a great person, like to have everybody
- 3:51thinking that I am just so amazing.
- 3:55I like my reputation, I like my friends and family to think I'm
- 3:58a certain type of way. So if you expose that person,
- 4:02they could erupt. Because once that the perfect
- 4:06image or this good image they have in the public eye shatters.
- 4:10Once that shatters, you see what I'm saying?
- 4:14They might come after you again. I'm not telling you not to do
- 4:17it. I'm just saying this could be a
- 4:18very dangerous time. You don't have to heal in
- 4:21silence, you know what I mean? I'm not healing in silence.
- 4:23I'm healing out loud. Dealing with narcissistic
- 4:26personality is what I know. It's different, the men, a
- 4:28survivor of abuse and things like that.
- 4:30But I'm saying be very careful because if you threaten to
- 4:33expose them or you actually do expose them, they might come for
- 4:36you. That's just it.
- 4:37They said they might the same things apply.
- 4:39They could be physically violent, they could get
- 4:41emotionally violent, mentally violent.
- 4:43Or again, they can send you to meet your maker, your creator,
- 4:46or they can make you cease to exist, your your consciousness
- 4:50goes away. You don't mean they very well,
- 4:54very well can happen another time.
- 4:57There's dangerous and tax relationships and this doesn't
- 4:58apply to everybody. But if you have kids with this
- 5:02person and you in financial you know, finances, get involved
- 5:06with kids, you know finances and kids finances and kids,
- 5:09sometimes those commingle, sometimes they don't finances.
- 5:13If you somehow, some way, shape or form, you're set to get a lot
- 5:16of money from them. They might, they might become
- 5:19very, very dangerous towards you.
- 5:20They might have to try to have you taken out of here.
- 5:22You see what I'm saying? They might try to set you up to
- 5:24be harmed or be hurt or something along those lines.
- 5:26You know what I mean? They might very well come back
- 5:29to you in these circumstances. In these situations, you got to
- 5:31be very, very careful in that aspect of things right there,
- 5:34because they could very well come for you.
- 5:35They they could trying to with money is in it with a lot of
- 5:38money gets involved. And sometimes when kids are
- 5:40involved, if they think you're trying to keep the kids from
- 5:42them and they think you're trying to ruin their life or
- 5:45ruin their family, something like that, they could become
- 5:47very, very dangerous and then irate and maybe harm you.
- 5:49And you know, sometimes money and kids come together, like you
- 5:53get the kids, one, one parent gets the kids, the other person
- 5:56has to pay more money, spend less time.
- 5:59They can be that narcissistic person.
- 6:01They could become very dangerous and very irate in these
- 6:03circumstances as well. Again, just be very, very
- 6:07careful. And last but not least, the most
- 6:11dangerous time in a toxic relationship.
- 6:15The most dangerous time they what?
- 6:16What are you going to say? Put your before you before I say
- 6:19it out loud, put it in, Put your guests in the comment section.
- 6:23You'll push, pause, put in the conversation, come back, come
- 6:25right back. Did you do it?
- 6:26Did you do your homework assignment?
- 6:29Because the most dangerous time in a in a touch relationship is
- 6:33actually when you try to leave it.
- 6:36It's actually on your way out. And some people was like, well,
- 6:40how how is the dangerous on the way out?
- 6:41Because y'all shame again. Here comes the shame monster
- 6:46comes in again. When you decide to leave.
- 6:49All of these things, what I just said, can come into play.
- 6:52You could be leaving. You could be leaving after
- 6:55exposing them. You could be leaving after
- 6:57confronting them. You could be leaving and getting
- 6:59money from there. You be leaving, taking the kids.
- 7:01You could be leaving. And like I said, there's so many
- 7:04different all this stuff could come together when you leave and
- 7:08their reputation could go to hell.
- 7:10And they just, you bring so much shame.
- 7:11It's not you bringing shame into their life.
- 7:13So much shame enters their life, enters their life because you
- 7:16decide to leave or get divorced or something like that.
- 7:19And they snap. They snap, They feel like their
- 7:23life is over. You want to divorce them, you
- 7:25want to leave them, and they can't imagine life without you.
- 7:28So they they, some of them take you about of here, some of them
- 7:32hold you hostage. That's where you see a lot of
- 7:35unaliving and unaliving you and then unaliving themselves.
- 7:40That can happen as well. That's why I tell people this.
- 7:42When you leave, everybody says just leave.
- 7:44Yeah, sometimes if you just leave, they try to take you out
- 7:47of here. So yeah, leave.
- 7:50If you want to be safe, make a plan, protect yourself.
- 7:54Try your hardest to protect your children.
- 7:57You have to because leaving is the can be the most dangerous
- 8:00time. Because that person, that
- 8:02narcissistic person is probably thinking to themselves that you
- 8:05or that narcissistic person is probably thinking to themselves
- 8:08that you, in these circumstances, that you might be
- 8:12going to be with somebody else, they they'll do anything but
- 8:16treat you better. They'll take you out of here.
- 8:18They will literally end your existence rather than treat you
- 8:21better because you decided to leave.
- 8:23Because they can't. They think you're going to be
- 8:25with somebody else in their mind.
- 8:26They're like, oh, you're going to be with somebody else.
- 8:28I got to do something about this.
- 8:30I can't live without you. I can't match my kids having a
- 8:33different another parent, another father, another mother.
- 8:35They snap. Leaving can be the most
- 8:38dangerous time. That's when the abuse can
- 8:40escalate. That's why I tell people if you
- 8:42decided, did you want to leave, you don't have to tell that
- 8:45person. Y'all.
- 8:46It's not a courtesy. You're not being not.
- 8:47You don't have to be. You don't have to be courteous
- 8:49and be nice because they can take you up out of here.
- 8:51Y'all they can end your life. They could.
- 8:55This is the most dangerous time could be to leave now.
- 8:57I'm not. I'm not making this part right
- 8:59here. I'm not trying to scare y'all
- 9:00into staying. I'm just trying to tell you what
- 9:04can happen if you decide when you decide to leave.
- 9:06I'm just telling you to wake you up to the possibility of this
- 9:09happening so you can protect yourself and be safer in this
- 9:11situation. Because that narcissistic
- 9:12person, a lot of times they can't stand the embarrassment of
- 9:15you leaving. They can't stand the rejection
- 9:17of you leaving. They cannot stand the shame of
- 9:19you leaving. So that instead of just handling
- 9:22it like an adult, handling it like a real life person would
- 9:25do, they try to take you out of here.
- 9:28They do something shameful, do something evil and try to take
- 9:32you out of here. They very well can.
- 9:36So if you decide to leave that you don't have to tell them.
- 9:38Y'all my wife left me. She didn't tell me I came home.
- 9:41The house was empty. She was gone.
- 9:42And not because I'm physically violent.
- 9:45I'm, I'm, I'm a talker. Y'all can talk her understand.
- 9:48You know what I mean? You see what I'm saying and
- 9:49talk. It's not.
- 9:50Also it's not just dangerous because they can end your
- 9:53existence. It's dangerous because they can
- 9:55end your friendship. They can end your family friend.
- 9:57They can end your family type of stuff as well.
- 9:59Because like if you if you decide to tell them and then you
- 10:03you tell everybody you leaving and then you decide to stay,
- 10:07they're going to make you cut your friends and family off.
- 10:09So you're going to start, it's dangerous because you start
- 10:11losing your support system. It's not dangerous because you
- 10:14lose your life. It's dangerous because you can
- 10:15lose your support system. Danger because you can lose your
- 10:18friends. You can lose so much at the end
- 10:21of these relationship space in relationship dynamics.
- 10:23It is not just your life, it's it's your existence.
- 10:26Not just your life, your life, your your living essence.
- 10:30You can lose your friends and family.
- 10:32They can turn your kids against. There's so many different things
- 10:34that can happen to y'all. So just so be just be very, very
- 10:37careful at the end of these relationships.
- 10:39I'm telling you, I'm telling you at the end could be the most
- 10:41dangerous time. These are just a small list of
- 10:43the most dangerous time. Y'all.
- 10:44If y'all can think of something else, some more, some more
- 10:47dangerous times, put it in the comment section.
- 10:49Y'all cause your comments. People see people or people are
- 10:51not just watching the video. We're going in the comment
- 10:53section to see if other people are are agreeing.
- 10:55Other people are going through similar things.
- 10:57So if you have something, a similar situation that you've
- 10:59been through or something that you can feel like can help
- 11:01somebody else, leave it in the comment section.
- 11:03It can help so many other people.
- 11:05Y'all. You never know who you help
- 11:06them. Leave it in the comment section.
- 11:07I hate this is dangerous too, because I might have missed
- 11:09something. Y'all.
- 11:09I know I missed something. I know I did.
- 11:11I'm not a survivor. You are.
- 11:13I'm not a Thriver. You are.
- 11:15Help other people. You if you're a Thriver,
- 11:17thrivers help other people. You know what I'm saying?
- 11:22Be as safe as you possibly can. Y'all I want y'all to win.
- 11:24Look look at my I got chill bumps.
- 11:25Y'all can see I'm getting chill bumps because I care.
- 11:28It's weird being self aware y'all and digging more, digging,
- 11:31digging deeper into my emotional like chest.
- 11:34You can see my chill bumps flapping up because I want y'all
- 11:36to be safe. I want y'all to win.
- 11:37That's me being authentic. You can't fake chill.
- 11:40I'm cold. I'm not cold.
- 11:43I mean if anything I'm not be safe.
- 11:45Y'all take care of yourself. I want you to win.
- 11:47But the healness is that peace. Thank you so much for making it
- 11:50to the end of my video. Y'all thank you for watching all
- 11:52way through. I'm eternally grateful for you.
- 11:54If you haven't already, you made it this far.
- 11:56You might as well go and hit this subscription, but y'all
- 11:58turn on notification so we can reach more people.
- 12:00Help me reach more people and whatnot.
- 12:03The Self Love brand is available as well.
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- 12:22turn this is out please.