Latest / Uncomfortable Conversations with Josh Szeps / Dave Hughes Has a Problem With Josh

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Dave Hughes Has a Problem With Josh · Uncomfortable Conversations with Josh Szeps

0:02
G'day humans!
0:04
It's time for the third thrilling installment of our special at the world's biggest
0:08
comedy festival, the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, where I popped down to Melbourne
0:13
for a 10-hour live stream sub-stack marathon.
0:16
As I said, this is the third episode of the
0:18
Uncomfortable Conversations comedy extravaganza with Dave Hughes, a household name in Australia,
0:25
a legend in Australian television and radio and stand-up comedy.
0:29
He's been so ubiquitous on TV and radio
0:32
that practically every single Australian has their own Dave Hughes impression.
0:37
He joined me to discuss being poor and being rich and getting famous
0:41
and insulting the radio shock job Kyle Sanderlams.
0:45
Here he is, the one, the only, Dave Hughes.
0:50
So what we're doing now for people who might just be tuning in
0:56
is we're going all day, all day for the Melbourne Comedy Festival,
0:59
which starts this week, I think.
1:01
No, it starts last Thursday.
1:03
Like I say, it starts this week.
1:05
We're nice and topical.
1:07
Just getting warm.
1:09
It starts tonight.
1:09
We've got five of the best comics all back to back,
1:13
and we're not stopping.
1:14
We're not stopping the tape.
1:15
We're not ramping.
1:16
I'm going to be here.
1:18
I'm going to be here at six o'clock Tuesday, tonight.
1:21
Tom Ballard's going to be sitting where you are and we're still going to be gone.
1:24
You know, Tom Ballard and me were born on the same day in the same hospital.
1:29
Not on the same day.
1:29
20 years apart.
1:30
20 years apart, I would have thought.
1:31
Yeah, well, clearly.
1:32
He's a small child.
1:33
You're an old man.
1:34
Well, that's true.
1:35
But, um, and that's what I say to everyone who's younger than me.
1:38
Even if I just turned 50, I say, you're, you're a mere pup.
1:41
Yeah.
1:41
I want people to feel good, you know.
1:43
Yeah.
1:43
Never makes me feel bad.
1:45
How are you feeling?
1:46
How do you feel?
1:47
I feel good generally, although I locked my house key out.
1:53
You were late.
1:54
Is this you now excusing yourself for the fact that you were half an hour late?
1:58
Look, I've got a dog called Ginger, and we've got a friend who's got a dog called Cookie,
2:02
and Cookie was coming around to play with Ginger all day.
2:05
Right.
2:06
And I had to logistically, like, I want the front gate to be open,
2:10
and I want the dogs to be out the back.
2:11
So anyway, I ended up locking my Ginger inside the house with all the cats.
2:16
Right.
2:16
You sound like a homeless lady.
2:18
You sound like an old lady with too many pets.
2:22
Is there a lot of newspapers in your home?
2:24
Using stacks of piled up old newspapers?
2:26
There used to be when I bought newspapers.
2:28
I bought a newspaper the other day for the first time in years,
2:33
and I only bought it because my daughter was in the newspaper,
2:37
in a lift-out independent schools magazine in the newspaper.
2:42
Oh, that's nice.
2:42
Had she done something good or had she done something terrible?
2:45
Her school had used her as their model, basically.
2:48
Yeah, right.
2:48
So there's a massive photo of her in this independent magazine.
2:52
This is how hot our students are.
2:54
Well, sort of.
2:55
All these are how...
2:56
Anyway, but you know what?
2:58
She's not getting paid for it or even getting a discount off her fees.
3:01
Well, it's a newspaper article, so you wouldn't get paid normally.
3:03
No, no, it's an ad.
3:04
It's an ad?
3:05
For the school?
3:06
For the school.
3:06
So they're trying to attract more students.
3:09
Yeah, I see.
3:09
Yeah.
3:10
Look how good you can be.
3:11
Yeah, and so...
3:12
You're like her.
3:13
Yeah, and we're not even...
3:14
So I'm going to, anyway.
3:14
So that's, but.
3:15
So you bought a newspaper.
3:16
$5.
3:17
I know, it's ridiculous, isn't it?
3:18
I didn't know it was got that expensive.
3:20
I just started doing a column in the financial review.
3:23
Yeah.
3:23
That's how important I am.
3:25
And so I went on and I was like, can you give me a free subscription?
3:28
They're like, no.
3:29
I was like, yeah, but I'm a columnist now.
3:30
And they were like, you know, we can't do that.
3:32
So I go on and I sign up.
3:34
It's like to get the digital subscription and then one the weekend,
3:38
because I'm in the weekend paper.
3:39
I only want the weekend one.
3:40
I don't care about anybody else.
3:42
It's like, I don't want to misstate it, but I think it might be almost 20 bucks a week
3:47
That's a lot
3:48
For one paper, plus digital access
3:51
Which isn't, and I'm saying everyone should go out and get the financial review to read my great work
3:55
But it's not like it used to be when it was 50 cents
3:58
I feel like it's expensive, yeah, 20 bucks a week
4:01
I've got so many subscriptions to things, I've got to go through them
4:04
I was in Adelaide, the fine seat of Adelaide, and needed to get somewhere quick
4:10
And so I got on a line, one of those scooters, I don't know what brand it was, but Beam,
4:14
Beam I think it was, and ended up with a subscription.
4:17
So I'm now subscribed to Beam scooters.
4:20
You're subscribed to an Adelaide scooter.
4:21
Yeah.
4:22
Yeah.
4:23
I haven't seen any in Melbourne, so I've really got to cancel.
4:26
I mean, they get you, don't they?
4:27
Because it's so easy to subscribe and it's so hard to get out.
4:30
It's like, you know, with the newspaper as well, it's a one click.
4:33
I know.
4:34
QC, I've long said I want to run for office on a single platform.
4:38
My platform will be companies have to have the same mechanism to unsubscribe as they have to subscribe.
4:45
Yeah.
4:46
If you can subscribe in one click, you should be able to cancel in one click.
4:49
Yeah.
4:49
Don't give me this bullshit about like, oh, just subscribe for only $1 for the first 30 days.
4:55
And then on day 31, if you want to cancel, call this number.
4:59
I subscribe to like the New Yorker or something.
5:01
I had to call America during American work hours and talk to a human being who kept offering me other cheaper plans.
5:08
I'm like, I just want to get out of this straitjacket.
5:10
How could I do it in one click?
5:11
I'm with you all the way.
5:13
I once subscribed.
5:14
There was an African guy going for world record in marathon,
5:18
and it wasn't like an Olympic or anything.
5:20
It was just, you know, whatever.
5:21
I can't remember what marathon.
5:22
Maybe the German marathon or something, Berlin.
5:24
So I had to subscribe to watch it to run as well.
5:29
So I subscribed to like a webcam that watches runners do marathons.
5:34
I watched him break the record,
5:37
and then I think I was still subscribed for the next five years.
5:40
I didn't watch any other races.
5:41
No, no.
5:42
It's terrible.
5:43
My wife, the bane of her existence is my ability to subscribe to stuff
5:47
and then just keep paying.
5:49
Keep them.
5:49
Slowly being drained.
5:51
Some people say, I'll just cancel the credit card.
5:53
They can keep billing the credit card even after you've cancelled the credit card.
5:56
Did you know that?
5:56
They're allowed to, and then the credit card will keep coming for you.
5:58
No, look, there's a lot to think about in life,
6:02
and I don't focus enough, and my accounts get drained,
6:06
and it's mainly my fault.
6:08
How did you manage to get successful if you're not good at focusing on things?
6:12
Well, I could focus on comedy because I loved comedy.
6:16
So that was one thing.
6:16
It was my passion.
6:17
More than Runner's World.
6:18
Yeah, it was a close thing for a while because I did love running for a long time.
6:23
But apparently marathon running leads to early death.
6:27
Have you heard that?
6:28
I'm a believer.
6:29
I'm on the Trump train about exercise.
6:31
Don't go too hard.
6:33
Just, you know, don't go crazy.
6:35
One of my dad's mates just died.
6:37
He was a marathon runner.
6:38
He was a, you know, there's too jarring.
6:41
There's all these little bones in your feet and stuff.
6:43
Mainly your heart.
6:44
Yeah, it's too much.
6:45
It's too much for your heart.
6:47
Well, I just read this today.
6:48
I get fed stuff, ways to keep alive.
6:51
My algorithm is how can this person stay alive
6:54
and also how can I get into college basketball as a student.
6:59
My son is like tall and he's pretty good at basketball
7:02
and I don't know what other jobs are going to be left with the AI.
7:04
takeover.
7:05
So I really want him to focus full-time on basketball.
7:08
Basketball's great.
7:08
We're not going to be watching robots do basketball for a very long time.
7:11
Exactly.
7:12
So I mean, my wife, he's got to study.
7:14
I don't know if he does have to study, you know,
7:16
what's that going to get him?
7:17
Well, basketball could get him a career.
7:19
So yeah, it's the opposite
7:20
to what it used to be, stay in school.
7:23
I'm like, get out of school and focus on basketball.
7:25
Yeah.
7:25
All right.
7:26
Where were we with that?
7:27
We were talking about how you were almost dying from,
7:30
oh yeah, that's right.
7:30
Cause you love running and you love comedy.
7:32
Don't run marathons.
7:34
Zone 2 cardio.
7:36
Zone 2.
7:37
Don't have your heart rate over 130 for longer than 30 minutes.
7:40
Yeah.
7:41
I think the easiest way that I heard Zone 2 explained to me was you can talk while you're doing the exercise, but you don't want to.
7:50
Yeah, right.
7:50
You don't want to be at that level of exercise where you can't talk.
7:53
You see, I like the level of exercise where you can't talk.
7:56
Really?
7:57
I do, but I'm a short.
7:58
I always just think people are lying when they say that.
8:00
I'm short and sharp.
8:01
get in, there's a hill that's called Anderson Street Hill, it's a tan track, running track
8:06
around the gardens in Melbourne.
8:09
The tan?
8:09
The tan.
8:10
The tan.
8:10
Everyone talks about the tan in Melbourne.
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Melbourneers love the tan.
8:13
It's a running track.
8:14
Running up Anderson Street Hill, I can get my heart rate over 200 beats per minute.
8:18
For a while.
8:19
Yeah, for a while.
8:20
Until you die.
8:20
I love it.
8:21
But it's a 15 minute run.
8:23
I've done it in 13.59.
8:25
And anyone who knows the tan, or if you get to Melbourne at any point, run the tan, put
8:29
your clock on and see where you end up.
8:31
And remember that Dave Husey Hughes did it in 1359 at the age of 40.
8:35
And when you say you love it.
8:37
Yeah.
8:37
Okay.
8:38
I hear people say this about like, you know, running, marathon runners.
8:42
If you stand at the end of a marathon and you look at the people crossing the line,
8:48
they don't look like they're loving it.
8:50
No.
8:50
They don't look happy.
8:52
Like if I was to talk to you when you're doing, when your heart rate's over 200.
8:56
I'm in pain.
8:57
Yeah.
8:57
Severe pain.
8:57
So what does it mean to say you love it?
8:59
Well, you love having done it, I suppose.
9:01
You don't love it at the time, but you love the feeling when you finish.
9:05
Right.
9:05
And you're like, oh, my God.
9:06
It's like I imagine I've never been, like, tortured by, like, some sort of army.
9:12
You know what I mean?
9:12
I've never been.
9:14
And I would hate that, I reckon, getting tortured, but I love it when they stopped.
9:17
Yes.
9:18
And I would spill.
9:19
That's how they get you to spill the beans.
9:21
Yeah, yeah.
9:22
Because they want you there.
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So, yeah.
9:23
So you love.
9:25
This is very revealing.
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People who say that they love running are actually saying that they love it in the same way that a torture victim loves being tortured because it comes to an end.
9:37
Yes.
9:37
It's like an ice bath.
9:38
Yeah.
9:38
You hate the ice bath, but when you get out of the ice bath, you're like, oh, my God, life is good because I'm not freezing to death right now.
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But then they say, isn't it, all the ice bath aficionados are like, oh, it does your mitochondria such good health.
9:52
You know, like it turns you into, it's cell repair at a molecular level, Hughsy.
9:59
It's your cell, your DNA.
10:01
I know, mate.
10:01
The cold is the DNA.
10:02
I know.
10:03
It's revivifying itself.
10:05
Yeah.
10:06
I don't, there's apparently the jury's out on all that.
10:10
But the jury's in on saunas.
10:12
Apparently saunas are definitely.
10:14
Yeah.
10:14
And so when I used to, you know, you look at houses that had saunas and you think, what a throwback to the 70s.
10:19
You know, like those people.
10:20
No.
10:20
My bro just got one.
10:21
Sauna installed.
10:22
He's married to a Finnish girl, so they're like,
10:24
well, of course you have a sauna in the house.
10:26
Every Finnish house has a sauna.
10:27
You wouldn't buy a house without a sauna.
10:29
Well, apparently the saunas, according to my algorithm,
10:33
the saunas are, they do, there is, the jury's in on longevity
10:39
if you regular sauna.
10:40
Yeah, and do you preface a lot of truth claims with
10:43
according to my algorithm?
10:44
Yeah, because my own children think that I get sucked in by all this
10:47
and that it's just, apparently it's, there's a word for it,
10:51
It's AI slop.
10:52
Yes.
10:53
Which is just AI someone.
10:55
Slop.
10:56
Slop.
10:56
And it's rubbish, but it gets put out as truth,
11:00
and people like me believe it.
11:01
I think some of it's true, but some of it isn't.
11:04
I mean, it is a problem for people of a certain age,
11:08
not to say that you're over that age,
11:09
but for people of a certain age,
11:10
you just assume that if something looks like it's legit,
11:14
because when you grow up, it was legit,
11:16
because only legit news organizations released things that looked legit.
11:20
it but nowadays even if it's not ai like i've got uncles who'll send me stuff about you know some
11:27
new breakthrough and health or longevity or something like that and i'm like and it's on
11:30
youtube and i'm like yeah but what exactly is this like it's a guy in a lab coat and he's talking
11:36
about this incredible breakthrough and sure he's a phd md according to himself and it looks like a
11:42
it looks like a documentary but like it's not produced by the bbc or like the abc it's not
11:49
It's just a guy who's saying shit, but it looks like it's the same.
11:55
And so maybe that's what they're getting at with the slop.
11:58
Some people in the comments of these posts by people in white coats,
12:05
there's a photo of someone in a white coat, in the comments they go,
12:08
can you give me a link to the actual study?
12:11
And I've not seen the person in the white coat actually go,
12:15
here's the study.
12:16
Yeah, they haven't given the link.
12:17
So maybe there's too many comments and they can't give the link to everyone.
12:21
That's the answer.
12:22
Yeah, that's obviously it.
12:24
So you loved comedy.
12:25
Yeah.
12:26
That's why you were able to succeed in comedy where you're not able to succeed in it.
12:29
What was the, you started the story about how, why, about making an excuse for why you were late.
12:34
Oh yeah, I had to climb to the window.
12:37
Then you said a...
12:38
I had to climb to the window to get my, to get to my wife.
12:41
I rang my wife and said, I've locked myself out.
12:43
The, our dog's inside.
12:44
There's a dog going to be turning up soon.
12:46
It's going to be outside.
12:47
and that's going to be awkward because you've got a dog inside and a dog outside.
12:50
So then she said that the window in front of the kitchen sink, she thinks it's open.
12:57
So I went around and it was open.
12:59
And I put, you know, when you put your hands against those sliding windows
13:02
and you push up like your hands are suction cups and you just push straight up.
13:07
You're basically like a frog.
13:09
Yes.
13:09
So I did that.
13:10
But what I didn't realize is there was another window sort of jutting to the window I was pushing up.
13:15
And I nearly sliced my hands off.
13:16
So be very careful when you're outside and you push a window up.
13:20
Okay.
13:20
Because if it's got another window on top of it, your fingers might hit that other window.
13:24
Yeah.
13:24
And I'm still, my hands are very sore.
13:26
Yeah.
13:26
So that was one thing.
13:27
Yeah.
13:28
And then I had to get to the service joint for Volvo because I had to get my car there.
13:35
And that was annoying as well.
13:37
Right.
13:37
But they put me, Volvo, I don't know.
13:40
I think there's a lot of industries in trouble at the moment, I reckon.
13:42
Right.
13:43
And you think maybe the car industry.
13:45
I think the car industry is in big trouble.
13:47
The heritage brands like Volvo and Ford and blah, blah, blah,
13:53
because of the Chinese takeover of the car industry through this BYD
13:58
and the myriad of other brands, especially in Australia,
14:01
where they've all just come in and the locals are like,
14:04
what are we doing here?
14:05
So now you reckon you're getting sub-par service.
14:09
But I'm getting quicker service.
14:11
Do you know what I mean?
14:12
Because there's no one else there.
14:13
No.
14:14
So they're coming now.
14:15
We've almost got the Polestar.
14:16
Have you driven a Polestar?
14:17
I hired a Polestar in Sydney once.
14:19
Yeah.
14:20
I didn't know what it was, and I thought, what is this brand?
14:22
No idea.
14:23
I loved it, actually.
14:23
It's great.
14:24
Yeah, I was into it.
14:25
I ran into a dual motor Polestar in New Zealand.
14:28
Yeah.
14:28
Oh, I fell in love with it.
14:29
It's so good.
14:30
Similar story.
14:30
Yeah, I fell in love with mine.
14:31
I thought about it.
14:32
I haven't bought one.
14:33
My car's 2018, which is only, what's that, eight years old?
14:36
That's eight years old.
14:37
Yeah, so I'm not-
14:38
It's still getting old, though, isn't it, for a car?
14:40
I know.
14:40
Things start to happen to it.
14:43
This is the same car as you're driving.
14:45
This is the one because I've got a loan car.
14:46
Oh, okay.
14:47
And this one, but it's the same, but it's newer.
14:50
Now the screen is a full computer screen.
14:54
Right, but before you get a new car,
14:55
you're going to have to get rid of all those subscriptions
14:57
because you can't afford a new car.
15:00
I've got Runner's World billing you for $19.99 a month.
15:04
You know what I've stopped doing, which is, I don't know,
15:08
through just mismanagement, stopped having my car insured.
15:13
Yeah, good.
15:13
No car insurance.
15:14
I don't.
15:15
Well, do you have third party?
15:15
Well, I've got third party.
15:16
Yeah.
15:17
Yeah.
15:17
I only realized I had no car insurance for a couple of years.
15:20
I didn't even realize I didn't have any car insurance.
15:21
Yeah.
15:22
And then I thought, no, I'm not going to worry about it.
15:25
I bet I've got third party.
15:26
You know what you should do?
15:27
So here's my trick, although no one ever sticks by it, including myself, but I did for about
15:31
a year.
15:32
You take whatever the comprehensive insurance premium would be.
15:35
You set yourself up a little one of them ING savings accounts or something, and you put
15:39
it in there.
15:40
Yeah.
15:40
And then, like, 90% of claims are going to be less than a few thousand dollars.
15:46
Yeah.
15:46
It's rare that you're going to have your car completely written off.
15:49
Yeah.
15:50
Or, like, nobody steals a car.
15:52
Now, how do you steal a car anymore?
15:53
It's hard.
15:54
Electric.
15:54
You can't hotwire a car.
15:56
You can't.
15:56
No one's hotwiring a Polestar.
15:58
So, yeah, and then you just have your third party so that you can't get bankrupted if you hit a Maserati.
16:03
And apart from that, you just don't worry about it.
16:05
You keep the money aside.
16:06
Within three years, five years, you've got more than the cost of all of the 90% of the claims that you'd ever have to pay.
16:13
And then 10, 15 years later, you've got enough money to buy a Lexus.
16:17
You know what?
16:17
I agree with you.
16:19
But I have once got a full payout for a car.
16:22
I drove a car through what I thought was a shallow bit of water.
16:26
Right.
16:27
I had fish and chips with me.
16:29
And it was a Friday night.
16:31
And I drove it.
16:32
And it wasn't a four-wheel drive.
16:33
I was driving.
16:35
You know what?
16:35
The irony is it was a car I'd bought in a bushfire charity drive.
16:41
Oh, okay.
16:41
The car was, I was watching the cricket one night and up on the screen said,
16:47
this car's for auction.
16:48
And one thing about those charity auctions,
16:50
which I've seen being in the entertainment industry for a long time,
16:53
you go to nights and do comedy and then they have a charity auction.
16:56
Often the price for what you buy is less than retail because, you know,
17:02
people don't, they're not there to buy whatever it is.
17:05
And I bought this car.
17:07
It was a Ford Mondeo.
17:11
Okay.
17:11
I think.
17:12
It was like a sedan.
17:14
And I bought it for less than what retail was through the auction on TV.
17:19
I rang up or whatever you had to do, or maybe online.
17:21
And then, so that was for a bushfire charity.
17:24
Sorry, were you famous at this stage?
17:26
Yes.
17:26
And were you doing this as part of your persona?
17:29
No.
17:30
So when you call up and you're like, I want to bid,
17:34
doesn't the person on the other end go, is that Fusey?
17:39
Look, honestly, it might have been online that I bid.
17:42
I can't remember, but I bought it, and it wasn't for publicity.
17:45
It was just because I wanted a car.
17:47
But I bought fish and chips one night,
17:50
and I drove that car through a shallow puddle, I thought,
17:53
but it was deep enough that the car stopped working,
17:57
so I'm stuck in Elwood, if you know Melbourne.
18:01
It's part of the Elwood Canal.
18:02
There's a street called Foam Street where this happens.
18:07
And then I wouldn't move, so I got out of the car and was on the roof eating my fish and chips of the car.
18:13
Right, okay.
18:13
And a bloke walked by and said, this happens once a week here.
18:16
We should fix this.
18:17
But they didn't.
18:18
Put a sign up.
18:18
Yeah, put a sign up.
18:19
I think there might have been a sign.
18:20
But it wasn't a big enough sign.
18:23
Anyway, so that car.
18:24
And then I found out if your car stops in a flood, generally that's it.
18:29
You have to write it off.
18:30
Right.
18:31
If water is the reason your engine stops because it's got flooded with water,
18:36
it generally just tortures the engine and you have to get a new car.
18:38
So I got a full payout for that car.
18:40
And they gave you the payout?
18:42
Full payout.
18:43
Even though it was, you know, user error.
18:48
And I've never done it since.
18:49
I wasn't deliberate.
18:51
Well, it was deliberate that you drove through a river.
18:54
Yeah, but I just wanted to get home with my fish and chips.
18:56
So, but, yeah, but I have said to people, if you don't like your car, just drive it into a show.
19:01
But that's poor.
19:02
I shouldn't say that.
19:02
That's bad advice.
19:04
All I would say is if you've got really good comprehensive insurance, go to town on driving through a river with your fish and chips.
19:10
But if you're going to do what I said about the whole, you know, savings account, no comprehensive, don't drive through a river.
19:16
No, yeah, absolutely.
19:18
Yeah, that's fine.
19:19
So, anyway, that was all a way of saying, so, well, Craig, we closed the loop on your being late.
19:24
and the fact that your house is full of old magazines of yourself probably.
19:28
I saw one.
19:29
My in-laws actually gave me a magazine, a big issue,
19:32
which was from 2006, which they'd kept.
19:36
And my face was on the cover and they said,
19:39
how did this loser become famous?
19:41
That was the headline.
19:43
So that was nice.
19:44
All right, that's good.
19:45
Yeah, how did this loser become famous?
19:47
And so how did you become famous?
19:48
You started doing stand-up young as a wee baron.
19:51
Well, I'd just turned 22.
19:53
So youngish, but not like 18.
19:55
Some of them start 17, 16 now, and I'd recommend that.
19:58
Start early if you can.
19:59
Well, at the end of the day, on this long live stream, we mentioned earlier,
20:02
we're going to talk to Tom Ballard.
20:04
I mean, he must have started when he was, what, eight, nine years old?
20:06
He's about 15 now.
20:08
Yeah, definitely started young.
20:10
He's a beber.
20:10
Yeah, he is, no doubt.
20:11
So I think he might have done Class Clowns,
20:14
which is a thing that the Melbourne Comedy Festival started,
20:17
which is basically you get school students to do stand-up comedy.
20:20
Yeah, right.
20:21
One of my daughters might do it next year, actually.
20:23
How long did it take from you starting to do stand-up until you got good at it?
20:27
My first gig was terrible, just terrible.
20:32
I'd done like a 21st speech, which had gone really well,
20:35
and I'd done – I remember having done like I did a speech in year 11
20:40
of religious education, which was impromptu because I hadn't written a speech
20:45
about a potential saint called Sally Trench.
20:48
I don't know if she's ever made the sainthood.
20:50
Don't think so.
20:51
I haven't heard of Saint Trench.
20:52
Saint Trench.
20:53
So, yeah, and that was just me reading out of a book about Sally Trench.
20:56
And just the audience, which was the class, just laughed so hard.
21:00
Yeah, right.
21:00
But the Christian brother who was taking the class, the audience had to judge everyone's speech.
21:06
And I got perfect tens like I was Nadia Comaneci.
21:09
Yeah, yeah.
21:10
Whatever, gymnast.
21:10
Holding up the sign.
21:12
It was a great moment.
21:13
But at the end of the semester, I failed the subject.
21:17
I never failed a subject in school apart from woodwork before.
21:20
So the Christian brother who hated me taking the P-I-S-S out of, you know, whatever we were doing.
21:28
You can say piss.
21:29
I mean, you dropped a few F-bombs at the beginning of the interview.
21:31
I don't know why you're spelling it.
21:32
I don't know.
21:32
You could be live streaming to a church.
21:34
I don't know where you're going.
21:35
You probably are.
21:35
Yeah.
21:36
There's a big world out there.
21:37
It is.
21:38
So anyway, so I failed religious education, but that was another spark that got me thinking comedies for me.
21:43
But I'm interested just always in people's trajectory, whether or not you sort of hit it, you hit your groove, you go, yeah, this is work.
21:50
you start getting noticed and then it's like a fairly rapid ascent or whether you're like
21:54
slogging away in the back rooms of the you know the clubs yeah which i still do by the way 10 years
22:00
still do um but um no so the first gig terrible and i thought if i don't do this against you i'm
22:04
walking out of this club and people were mocking me as i walked out it was awful and but this i
22:09
went straight back the next week to this little club and sort of if i don't get on stage straight
22:13
away i'll never do it again so i got on stage the next week and i was better i kept my dignity
22:18
and then the third time I got on stage,
22:21
the same club about probably six weeks later,
22:23
I'd answered an ad in the paper that said,
22:25
New Comedians Wanted.
22:26
I was like, I want to be a new comedian.
22:28
Didn't know it was the same club.
22:30
Rang the number and the person who answered said,
22:33
have you been here before?
22:34
I said, I don't know.
22:35
And he told me where it was.
22:36
And he goes, I remember you.
22:38
You weren't that bad.
22:39
Have another go.
22:40
So third gig was great.
22:42
Excellent.
22:43
Knocked it out of the park.
22:43
Do you remember any material?
22:45
I can't remember what I talked about.
22:46
I just remember that it just kicked hard, and I floated out of the club that night.
22:51
It was like I was right to, you know, throw all my eggs in this basket,
22:56
even though I was obviously still broke, but I was right.
22:58
It's going to work.
22:59
Yeah, yeah.
22:59
Someday I'll be able to subscribe to Run Over the World.
23:02
And so from then, I quite quickly started to get paid in Perth,
23:07
where I was doing it, this little club, and I was headlining,
23:10
like, within the first year.
23:12
And how much were you riffing and how much were you writing?
23:16
When I first started, I was so naive about stand-up comedy,
23:20
I didn't think I could do the same joke twice.
23:22
So I thought if I told a story I've already told,
23:24
because I'm at the same club, I thought the barman will heckle me.
23:27
Yeah, right.
23:28
So I heard it last week, loser.
23:30
So I would go on stage, every time I'd go on stage,
23:32
and the other comedians, they were looking at me,
23:34
what is wrong with this guy?
23:35
Yeah.
23:35
So it was like, when you do completely new material,
23:39
you need one laugh to get it going.
23:42
But if you don't get that laugh, you don't know where you're going.
23:44
you think, oh, this is, so I would have some nights where it was just hard.
23:49
And I would step out of the spotlight as well.
23:51
Because I didn't like, I wanted to see the audience.
23:54
And so the people, the other comedians are going, you're just breaking every rule here.
23:57
Yeah.
23:57
And I would go too long.
23:59
And the worse I went, the longer I would go.
24:01
Right.
24:02
So when you're like, you're digging a hole.
24:04
Keep on digging.
24:04
I'm going to get them eventually.
24:06
And then you blame them for not laughing.
24:08
And then, so yeah, so I was very erratic early on.
24:11
But I got, I was in Perth for two years.
24:15
I'm from country Victoria, but I stayed there for two years.
24:18
And then by the end of it, I was pretty solid as a comedian, came to Melbourne, then just died again in my first gig.
24:24
But then got going again in Melbourne.
24:27
And then so within probably two years, I was making reasonable money, but still on the dole, to be honest.
24:36
And it was all the money was cash.
24:37
And it was like, you know.
24:39
And it's good.
24:39
So within, I was never, I wasn't down to my last, I haven't been down to my last cent since 1994.
24:48
That's good.
24:48
So I've always had a bit of a buffer of money.
24:51
1999 though, in Melbourne, I know actually, that's when it kicked, 99.
24:57
Actually, I went and lived in the UK for like, I thought it'd be two years and I was about to turn 28.
25:06
Back then, you had to get to the UK before you turned 28 to get a two-year visa.
25:10
Yep, yep.
25:11
So I got there the day before I turned 28, and I got off the doll when I flew there.
25:18
My last doll form-
25:20
That's welfare for American viewers.
25:22
That's what we call the welfare check.
25:23
So that's unemployment benefits.
25:25
Unemployment benefits.
25:25
It was in 1998, just before I went to England.
25:31
And yeah, so I have not used welfare since then.
25:35
I mean, you're framing your success in a very humble way by taking it back to the beginning of your career.
25:40
Yeah.
25:41
But really, since the late 90s.
25:43
Yeah.
25:44
You've been a household name.
25:46
I mean, it hasn't just been you're not pulling a welfare check.
25:48
Yeah.
25:49
It's like for a quarter of a century, everybody knows.
25:53
I mean, if you ask people to name five stand-ups in Australia, you're going to be on that list.
25:57
Yes.
25:57
I was.
25:58
Yeah, that is true.
25:59
So since when I got back, I was in London doing well at the stand-up clubs,
26:06
but so lonely, and it was the middle of winter,
26:09
and no one smiles in London in winter.
26:11
It's really depressing.
26:13
Why would you?
26:13
So I could not get anyone to even shop, anyone in the shops.
26:18
They'll take your money, but they won't give you any good sort of vibes.
26:22
It was tough for me.
26:25
I had no interaction really.
26:26
Apart from the comedy clubs, I had no interaction with people.
26:28
I remember going into the square on New Year's Eve.
26:31
That's the main square in the West End or whatever.
26:33
Leicester Square?
26:35
Maybe.
26:35
Trafalgar Square?
26:36
Yeah, one of those squares.
26:37
Covent Garden?
26:37
I don't know.
26:38
I just remember that you had to get frisked to go through,
26:41
and I was just the first human contact I'd had.
26:43
I felt like, can you frisk me again?
26:44
This is great.
26:45
I can't help frisking.
26:46
Human, human.
26:47
I can just imagine a young Hughesy, full brimming with Aussie sunshine,
26:52
going through like Crocodile Dundee when he arrives in New York,
26:56
going, g'day, g'day, g'day to everybody,
26:59
and everyone just bustling past him in this Dickensian hellscape
27:02
of grey English people.
27:04
Yeah, it's sad.
27:06
Miserable.
27:06
So I remember flying actually.
27:08
So you came back to Australia.
27:09
I came back.
27:09
Look, I got a contract to write comedy for Full Frontal,
27:14
which was a comedy, sketch comedy show on TV.
27:18
So that was my first contract.
27:20
So I came back to Australia because of that contract.
27:22
I was to write one minute a week of the show,
27:25
which is
27:26
of a 60 minute show
27:27
of a 60 minute show
27:28
and often I wouldn't
27:29
get any minutes
27:29
and I'm like
27:30
you'd put your
27:31
you put your sketches
27:32
into a box
27:33
and then the
27:34
head writers would
27:35
take all the sketches
27:35
out of the box
27:36
and then you'd just
27:37
have to wait to see
27:37
whether your sketch
27:38
who was head writing
27:39
full frontal
27:40
well I tell you
27:40
it was a mate of mine
27:41
Dave O'Neill
27:42
and Marco Tool
27:44
another guy
27:45
he's mate
27:45
and another comedian
27:46
so they were head writing
27:47
but they also
27:48
got to
27:49
their sketches
27:50
they could put their
27:51
sketches in as well
27:52
mysteriously their sketches
27:53
yeah all their sketches
27:54
went for 15 minutes
27:57
and they get paid
27:57
by the minute.
27:58
And little Hughesy
27:58
doesn't get his minute.
27:59
Nothing.
28:00
I had a sketch
28:01
about rolling down a hill.
28:03
I remember that was
28:03
my big sketch
28:04
about rolling down a hill.
28:05
I don't know why
28:05
I was rolling down the hill.
28:06
To go to work
28:07
rather than walk.
28:08
Everyone rolled down the hill
28:09
to go to work.
28:09
Yeah, that's funny.
28:10
Yeah, I thought it was funny
28:12
and they actually did film that.
28:14
I think it was the only sketch
28:15
that ever got up for me.
28:16
Was it like a public
28:18
advice ad campaign
28:20
or something?
28:20
I can't remember.
28:21
As if it could be
28:21
a quicker way
28:22
of getting to work
28:22
instead of walking.
28:24
Look, right now I can't remember whether...
28:26
We could rewrite that sketch.
28:28
Yeah, well, certainly rolling down a hill in a suit.
28:30
In a suit, yeah, with a briefcase.
28:32
Yeah, yeah, that's good.
28:33
I like it.
28:33
I like it.
28:35
But then 1999, just after I got back,
28:38
I did the Melbourne Comedy Festival Gala for the first time,
28:41
which is a TV event in Australia,
28:43
and my spot just took off.
28:47
It was just like that was the moment.
28:49
And you got enough under your belt by then
28:51
that you knew what you were doing.
28:52
Mate, I was a good comedian.
28:52
I knew all of the jokes.
28:54
You weren't getting up there going, I'm going to do new shit.
28:56
No.
28:56
So I got introduced, like a large percentage of the population sort of knew me from that moment.
29:03
Yeah, right.
29:04
And a lot of them came to my shows, and I was ready to go.
29:06
I had all the material, so it was good.
29:08
So for people who don't know the Melbourne International Comedy Festival,
29:12
one of the biggest comedy festivals in the world, I guess.
29:14
Well, the biggest one, the biggest one, it was just comedy, yeah.
29:16
It's the biggest, is it?
29:17
The biggest comedy-only festival.
29:19
Edinburgh Fringe is a bigger festival where there's more than comedy.
29:22
So this is the biggest comedy festival.
29:24
And it started last week slash this week for the purposes of this live stream.
29:27
We're talking to Dave Hughes, who's one of Australia's greatest stand-up comics,
29:30
who has a show which we'll get to at the comedy festival.
29:32
And then five guests in total are going to be parading through this studio
29:37
in a cavalcade of comedy, celebrity and wisdom until 6 p.m.
29:41
on a live stream that will run for nine or ten hours.
29:43
Good.
29:44
So that's just to give people some sense of what we're doing here.
29:47
And the Melbourne Comedy Festival gala that you say broke you
29:50
when you were, you know, to the Australian public.
29:53
Back in the day before you had your little phones
29:55
with the, you know, scrolling Instagram and everything,
29:57
people would sit down and they would watch that
29:59
and it was like, I guess, being on the Ed Sullivan show
30:03
or Johnny Carson in the States back in the day.
30:06
Like everybody would watch the big gala presentation.
30:10
Yeah, so the population of Australia at the time, 99,
30:13
probably 20 million maybe.
30:14
Probably less, it's 26 now.
30:16
All right, so maybe 18 million
30:18
and it would rate probably 1.5 million.
30:21
So, yeah, so it's like, you know,
30:22
a reasonable percentage of the population would watch this show
30:26
and they were often motivated to, you know,
30:29
come and see whoever they thought was funny on the show.
30:31
So I went from a small room to a large room.
30:33
And then it wasn't just stand-up, but, like, I was looking at the,
30:35
as you can see, I've got a list here of all the shows,
30:37
all the TV shows you were going to do.
30:38
Yeah, I've done a lot.
30:40
So Hey Hey It's Saturday was early.
30:42
Hey Hey was my first real success, actually, because I, they, this is a.
30:47
This was a weekend variety show that ran for about 100 years,
30:51
and it was hosted by the same guy,
30:53
and it was on for five hours a night on a Saturday night or something,
30:58
and it was like the Ed Sullivan Show, which was variety sketches.
31:02
Growing up in the country, it was part of your Saturday night.
31:04
It was like you would watch that show.
31:07
It was from 6.30 to 8.30, and I remember watching it as a kid,
31:11
but also as a young adult before you went out.
31:14
You would watch that before you went to the parlor.
31:17
Yeah, and there'd be one-legged people juggling.
31:19
Yeah, well, there was a Red Faces, which was an amateur gong show,
31:29
which was part of the biggest show, which was the most popular part of the biggest show
31:33
because apparently, according to the ratings, that was the moment most people watched.
31:36
I tried to get on this amateur talent show twice.
31:40
I'd already been doing comedy for probably three or four years,
31:42
and I was a funny comedian.
31:44
I was bankable.
31:45
You know, people paid me to do comedy.
31:46
But you'd have to audition in front of one person
31:49
and for the first time didn't get on, had another go.
31:53
The second time I tried to get, the guy, I thought,
31:56
he wasn't even looking at me.
31:57
He was looking at his piece of paper.
31:59
I said, mate, I might be out.
32:01
Can you look at me while I'm doing this?
32:03
The security, he got the security guard to walk me out of the building.
32:06
He thought I was going to bash him.
32:07
Why are they doing it?
32:08
It's so stupid.
32:09
Why don't they go out to clubs and see how the people are performing
32:12
in front of the crowd since it's a live studio audience show.
32:15
Yeah, well, this...
32:15
That's what they do for auditioning people on, you know,
32:17
the late night shows who are going to do stand-up.
32:19
They go to the club.
32:20
But in this guy's defence, Jack Strom's his name,
32:24
there wasn't just stand-ups doing that.
32:26
There was, you know, jugglers.
32:27
Yeah.
32:27
So I was just...
32:28
It's just easier.
32:30
It was easier.
32:30
But then, so I didn't get on that.
32:32
But then three or six months later,
32:34
I got booked as a stand-up comedian on the show.
32:39
And I had a good routine then about being on the doll.
32:42
about being unemployed, and it kicked.
32:45
I was never been more nervous in my life,
32:46
but it really kicked on the show.
32:48
It worked.
32:50
And then, so it worked so much that the show ran for 30 or 40 years.
32:55
They had a 50-year anniversary special of the show.
32:58
They played one stand-up clip on that,
33:01
and they would have had so many stand-ups over the years,
33:03
and that was that.
33:05
Amazing.
33:05
My first time.
33:06
Little Husey, little young Husey.
33:08
And you know what?
33:09
Those jokes stood up.
33:11
I had people saying, this is really funny.
33:13
I said, well, that's 30 years ago.
33:14
Amazing.
33:15
Anyway.
33:15
And do you know if little Jack, what's his face,
33:19
sitting there knew that you'd come on?
33:21
He must have known you were on the show.
33:22
I don't think he did.
33:23
I walked past him a couple of times trying to get my aid,
33:25
and he just didn't.
33:26
He didn't look at me.
33:26
It wasn't enough for you.
33:27
I don't even think he remembered.
33:29
Who's throwing who out of the building now?
33:31
Hey, Jackie?
33:32
He might not have remembered me, or maybe he was embarrassed.
33:34
He was embarrassed.
33:35
But you know what?
33:35
That didn't break me as it should have, though,
33:37
because I was still on the dole at the time.
33:39
I went back into my unemployment office the next week thinking they would give me a red carpet and possibly a standing ovation.
33:45
Sure.
33:46
Nothing.
33:46
Nothing.
33:47
Nothing.
33:47
They don't watch Channel 9 at 6.30 p.m. on a Saturday.
33:51
It was so disappointing.
33:52
So terrible, isn't it?
33:53
I stayed on the dole for another two or three years after that.
33:55
Don't tell me about it.
33:56
Were you mooching off the public purse?
33:59
You know what?
33:59
I can say that because I have paid a truckload of tax in the last-
34:02
That's true.
34:03
You made up for it.
34:04
I really have made up for it.
34:05
But you know what you also get when you're paying a truckload of tax?
34:08
Yeah.
34:08
You would get a truckload of money from the companies that are paying you to be a radio presenter.
34:14
It's a first world problem.
34:14
It's a first world problem.
34:15
So anyway, I'm not going to ask you to comment on all these things.
34:17
I just want people to know all the shows.
34:19
So hey, hey, the Glass House, Rove and Rove Live, the panel, thank God you're here talking about your generation, the project, obviously.
34:26
Spicks and Specks, The Living Room, Would I Lie to You?
34:29
Have You Been Paying Attention?
34:30
Australia's Got Talent.
34:32
You were judging?
34:33
No, I hosted a series of Australia's Got Talent.
34:35
Hosting Australia's Got Talent.
34:36
In 2016, I think, yes.
34:38
And the last episode rated over a million,
34:41
but it still didn't get another series.
34:43
It was a different time.
34:44
You get over a million now in Australia for one episode.
34:47
Oh, yes.
34:48
You're like gold.
34:49
But, yeah, times have changed.
34:51
Some shows get over 30,000.
34:52
I get it.
34:54
If it's on cable.
34:56
Hughesy, we have a problem.
34:57
Oh, yeah, so you had your own show.
34:58
Yes, I did for about five seasons.
35:01
And that was basically you complaining.
35:04
Me complaining, but other people complaining as well.
35:05
So you'd have got five comedians and you would all complain about problems and then try to solve the problems.
35:10
Yeah, right.
35:11
And I was there.
35:11
I was host, but also I was micromanaging.
35:14
I was like coming up with most of the ideas.
35:16
It was like, and I was a bit stressed.
35:18
And yeah, I probably, I had some moments where I wasn't probably as calm as I could have been.
35:24
Right, right.
35:25
Okay.
35:25
They're still fun.
35:27
Masked Singer, you were also a host or a judge?
35:30
I was a judge.
35:31
You were a judge on that one.
35:32
Yeah, that was around for five seasons as well.
35:33
So yes.
35:34
And you know what?
35:34
But for the overseas audience, they would be interested in this because on the first series, I was sitting next to Jackie O, Danny Minogue, and Lindsay Lohan.
35:48
Lindsay Lohan came to Australia to do it.
35:50
So, yeah, so she didn't know who I was, and she had been looking at me like, what's this guy here for?
35:58
I mean, what, he's not particularly handsome or he's got a weird voice?
36:01
Yeah.
36:02
Yeah, but we became friends actually.
36:04
Did you?
36:05
Yeah.
36:05
Is Lindsay Lohan in your phone?
36:07
She is.
36:07
Could you text her?
36:08
I could.
36:09
Could you text her right now?
36:10
I could, but she hasn't replied for a while.
36:13
Back in the day, she would reply, but it's been a while.
36:15
I haven't seen her for a while.
36:16
I'm not saying you have to actually do it.
36:18
I'm just saying you could text her now.
36:20
You could just say, you know, Josh says hi.
36:23
We had a funny moment actually where I was driving in the country one day.
36:26
I'd done it Sunday.
36:27
I'd been out doing stand-up comedy somewhere in a country town,
36:30
and my phone rings as I'm driving back to Melbourne
36:32
and it's Lindsay Lohan.
36:34
She's in New York.
36:35
Wow.
36:35
And it's late at night in New York.
36:37
It was a Saturday night, Sunday afternoon in Australia
36:39
and she's like, I want to go on the radio right now.
36:42
And I'm like, well, because I've tried to get on my radio show
36:45
so many times.
36:46
Yeah, you're like, that's not how radio works.
36:48
Yeah, I said, well, Lindsay, I'm not in the studio.
36:51
I'm actually in the country driving.
36:52
She goes, but I want to go on.
36:53
I said, well, I can't.
36:55
I want to get you on, but I can't do it now.
36:57
No.
36:58
Anyway, she had an issue with Danny Minogue.
37:01
I think she'd written, she had Google Alerts on her phone, I imagine,
37:05
and something Danny had said didn't sit well with her.
37:08
And Danny wouldn't have meant it to sit badly with her.
37:10
I think Danny had said she'd helped her with Australian celebrities,
37:12
which is fair enough.
37:13
Right, right.
37:14
You know what you should do in a situation like that
37:16
is find a way to record the phone conversation.
37:18
I know.
37:19
And then you play it back on a radio show.
37:21
It doesn't have to be live.
37:22
I know, but maybe I didn't want to put more fuel on that fire.
37:26
I wanted the show to keep going, so maybe that was it,
37:29
or maybe I just couldn't work it out, or maybe I'm not smart enough to know.
37:32
I wouldn't even know how to do it.
37:33
How do you record a phone conversation?
37:35
I don't know.
37:36
People would know, wouldn't they?
37:37
Someone knows.
37:38
And be very careful.
37:39
It's just a tip for anyone.
37:40
If you want to abuse someone, you think,
37:41
I'm not going to send them a text because they can screenshot it.
37:43
If you abuse them on the phone, they probably could be recording it.
37:45
They could be.
37:46
It's possible.
37:47
It takes a little bit more fiddling, I would imagine,
37:48
than if they put you on speaker, get another phone.
37:50
That's what I'd do.
37:51
I'd put her on speaker, get another phone.
37:53
Did you have another phone?
37:54
Was someone else in the car?
37:55
No, I was on my own.
37:56
On your own.
37:57
Got to get a burner phone.
37:58
Hang on.
37:59
Put her on speaker and then open voice memos or something
38:01
and start recording on the other phone, and then it's you and her.
38:04
You know what?
38:05
Now I'm thinking about it, and I don't know why this hasn't happened,
38:07
and you're probably more tech savvy than I am.
38:10
Why isn't there a feature on your phone that you can just press the button
38:14
so it records your phone conversation?
38:15
Probably because that's illegal in a lot of jurisdictions.
38:19
Yeah, you need to tell the person.
38:20
It depends where you are and where they are.
38:22
Yeah, right.
38:22
When you're ringing someone like a business and they say,
38:27
I'm going to record you.
38:27
Yeah, exactly.
38:28
Are you okay with that?
38:30
Am I okay with it?
38:30
No, I don't like it, but I don't object.
38:32
Do you object ever?
38:34
I don't think I have objected.
38:35
You remember Clive Robertson?
38:37
Yeah, the broadcaster.
38:38
Television and radio broadcaster.
38:40
He's dead now, isn't he?
38:41
I don't know.
38:42
I was wondering that the other day.
38:43
I think he's dead.
38:43
Did he die?
38:44
Pretty sure.
38:45
That's going to make me sad.
38:46
I'm going to look it up while I'm talking to you.
38:48
I'm pretty sure he died.
38:48
Clive was a very, very clever but very obstinate and prickly
38:52
uh character as well and he was working at the i started out as a radio producer before i became a
38:58
radio host yeah and uh he was working at the at the radio station where i was and um uh i died in
39:06
2024 yeah poor old clive yeah he's funny bloody funny he always called me albert uh because that's
39:13
my middle name yeah when i was introduced to him he was like josh you're not a josh what's your
39:18
middle name.
39:20
I said, Albert.
39:20
He goes, Albert, all right.
39:21
And then for the next five years, he only called me Albert.
39:24
Yeah, yeah.
39:24
You don't look like it, Josh.
39:26
But he, what were we talking about?
39:29
Something about recording phone calls, was it?
39:31
Yeah, we were talking about recording phone calls and then.
39:34
What did he do?
39:35
Was that it?
39:35
No, it wasn't that.
39:36
Then after recording phone calls, we were talking about the tech and the law.
39:42
Oh, the law.
39:42
Yeah, but that's recording phone calls.
39:43
You can record the phone call.
39:45
Did you have a phone call with Clive?
39:48
No.
39:48
No?
39:49
I really want to know what the Clive Robertson story is.
39:50
It was going to be good as well, wasn't it?
39:52
I shouldn't have said he's dead.
39:53
No, I know.
39:54
Then I got distracted by him being dead,
39:55
all my fond memories of him and me skipping through fields of daisies.
39:58
How long did you work with Clive for?
40:01
Only a year and a half, maybe.
40:02
Well, that's long enough to, you should have been aware of that.
40:05
I know, but you know what?
40:06
He was a recluse.
40:07
So, like, you know, my last day at the station,
40:10
everybody came aware we're all going out,
40:12
and then he would just say that he's coming,
40:14
but then like an hour and a half later he would send a one-word text
40:16
that he can't come.
40:17
Yeah, right.
40:18
I think he was struggling with various issues as well.
40:22
He was a hard person to get close to.
40:24
Yeah, right.
40:24
He was married three or four times or something.
40:27
There's all that stuff.
40:28
Anyway, let's keep going back to all your things.
40:30
It'll come to me.
40:31
We'll remember about the thing about recording the telephone calls.
40:36
I'm a celebrity.
40:36
Get me out of here.
40:37
How far did you go?
40:38
Not far enough, really, to be honest with you, as my son reminds me.
40:41
Well, he did remind me.
40:44
I would have been the most high profile person in the jungle that year
40:48
Not this year, but last year
40:50
So it's only just over a year ago
40:52
And you know what, I would be in the bottom three
40:55
Like often the bottom three and then someone gets voted out
40:58
And I honestly thought they were just putting me in the bottom three
41:01
To get some interest
41:03
You know what I mean?
41:04
You want to see a few?
41:05
Yeah, you might get kicked out
41:07
So I'm like, no, no, no
41:08
And I'd be in the bottom three
41:09
No, that's not me
41:10
It's just not real
41:11
And then all of a sudden it's real.
41:13
And then it was real.
41:14
And I'm like, what?
41:14
There's still seven other people to go.
41:17
Why am I getting kicked out?
41:18
And, yeah, so I said, because my wife was like, oh, God, she's like, why are you doing that?
41:23
And I said, I don't know, it was something to do.
41:25
And she's like, you don't need the money.
41:27
I said, oh, you can have enough money, have enough money, whatever.
41:30
And then, but when I got out, I said, well, at least my wife won't have to fly over here because the final three, I think, the families fly over.
41:38
Oh, okay.
41:38
And we have a lot of holidays.
41:41
as I say.
41:42
And again,
41:42
first of all.
41:42
It's such a pain in the ass,
41:43
isn't it?
41:43
All the taxes that you pay
41:45
from your massive income,
41:46
all the holidays that you take.
41:47
I need to get back to,
41:48
I need to feel.
41:49
You need to start talking
41:49
about unemployment benefits.
41:50
Well,
41:50
my wife's a public school teacher.
41:52
Okay.
41:53
She's a primary school teacher.
41:54
Yeah,
41:54
but she could also do nothing
41:55
and she could,
41:56
you know,
41:56
she'd have a good life.
41:56
But she works full time.
41:57
Yeah,
41:58
good for her.
41:58
So what I'm saying is that,
41:59
you know,
42:00
she,
42:01
she,
42:01
yeah,
42:02
she could,
42:02
she didn't have to work.
42:03
No.
42:03
What I'm saying is she gives back.
42:05
Yeah.
42:11
strike last week and she's like, I don't know if I should go on strike.
42:14
You know, we don't need the money.
42:16
I said, yeah, but that's not the point, honey.
42:17
Go on strike.
42:18
Solidarity.
42:19
Because the other people need the money.
42:20
You don't want to be a scab.
42:21
Yeah, exactly.
42:22
Go on strike.
42:22
Go on strike.
42:23
Go on strike.
42:23
Have the day off.
42:24
Workers of the world, unite.
42:26
Yes.
42:27
I agree.
42:28
And what was I saying there?
42:29
I'm a celebrity.
42:30
Anyway.
42:30
So, yeah.
42:31
She didn't have to come over and have another unwanted holiday after you've taken her to
42:35
Maldives and all these places.
42:37
Yeah, exactly.
42:39
I hear your attitude and I second that attitude.
42:42
Stop complaining.
42:43
She should not complain.
42:44
But anyway, so I'm in that little golf buggy that they're driving me to the control panel
42:49
or wherever the hell after.
42:50
I've just been out of this jungle.
42:52
And I said to the producer next to me, I said,
42:54
well, at least my wife won't have to fly with the kids.
42:57
And then she said, oh, about that.
42:58
I said, what?
42:59
She said, she's in the air right now.
43:01
She's already flying over.
43:02
So they found out I got kicked out of I'm a Celebrity
43:05
while they're 30,000 miles in the air.
43:07
She's like, turn the plane around.
43:08
You know what?
43:10
I actually said, because between Melbourne and South Africa,
43:15
this plane was stopping in Perth.
43:16
All right.
43:17
So I said, look, just get a message to her saying-
43:20
Get off the plane in Perth.
43:21
You can turn around.
43:22
Don't board.
43:23
You can turn around if you want to.
43:24
Abort.
43:25
And my family had the discussion in Perth.
43:28
My daughters wanted to keep going.
43:30
Of course.
43:30
My son wanted to come back because he didn't want to miss an under-16
43:33
basketball game that he played in.
43:35
So, again, this is first world problems and I get that it's annoying to people.
43:40
But then they decided to come.
43:42
So they came and we had a great time.
43:43
Great.
43:44
And can I say, Zadavriga, if you can afford it or whatever, those safaris.
43:49
You've got a television network paying for it.
43:51
Yeah.
43:52
The safaris are fun.
43:53
I'll bet they are.
43:54
They are.
43:55
They're really good.
43:55
You know the flight from Perth to Joburg?
43:57
It was Joburg, I guess.
43:58
Yeah.
43:59
You know it goes pretty much straight over the South Pole.
44:02
Does it?
44:02
Yeah.
44:03
Did not know that.
44:03
Yeah.
44:04
If you think about it, because you look at a map and you go, oh, I guess it goes along,
44:08
but then you look at a globe and you go, oh, no, actually, they're a long way if you go
44:12
around, but they're quite close on the Great Circle map.
44:16
So that always freaks me out a little bit.
44:18
Have you ever been to the South Pole?
44:20
No.
44:20
But some people do, don't they?
44:22
Antarctica.
44:22
Well, yeah, you're the type of person who says that marathons are fun.
44:25
So I imagine you'd be hiking around there like Edmund Hillary or...
44:29
I'm a big walker now, to be honest.
44:31
I never used to be into walking.
44:33
Snow, though?
44:34
Well, you know, I'm also into nature and I appreciate nature more.
44:38
I would love to.
44:39
I went to Norway last year.
44:41
Well, I've never been to Norway.
44:42
Oh, I took my mum because she was turning 80.
44:44
Is that the fjords?
44:45
Yeah, all the fjords.
44:46
So we flew up to the very, very, very, very tippy top of Norway,
44:50
which is the northernmost spot in all of Europe.
44:54
Yeah.
44:54
And way above the Arctic Circle.
44:56
So midnight sun, like the sun never sets kind of deal.
45:00
It was summer.
45:00
And then we've got a boat down the fjords, down to this archipelago of fjords and mountains.
45:07
If you've ever seen pictures of little picture postcard colourful cottages with just a wall of rock that goes up the size of the Empire State Building right next to it and greenery and ice flows.
45:22
It's amazing.
45:23
Just incredible.
45:24
You would recommend it.
45:25
Ridiculous.
45:26
Yeah.
45:27
Ridiculously beautiful.
45:28
especially in summer because it's just always got this beautiful,
45:30
you know that moment of twilight, Dave, where the sun is just perfect.
45:35
It's like when you're filming a movie.
45:36
My wife sent me a photo yesterday of the sun, yesterday,
45:39
and I didn't like it because she was annoyed about it.
45:42
But I was like, yeah, so I'm going to show it to you right now.
45:44
So that moment, you know, a cinematographer is always like,
45:46
oh, quick, quick, we've got to shoot before we lose the light.
45:49
We've got to get it.
45:50
Yeah, there you go, exactly, yes.
45:51
That was last night.
45:51
Yes, he's showing me a photo, a sunset or a sunrise.
45:56
It's a sunset.
45:56
That's in the bay.
45:57
That's Melbourne's Port Phillip Bay from Elwood.
46:00
There you go.
46:01
Yeah.
46:02
And that moment of just like orangey, beautiful light,
46:05
it just lasts like that all day.
46:07
Yeah, wow.
46:08
Because the sun's always, the sun's never high.
46:10
The sun's always.
46:11
What's it like to sleep there?
46:12
Do you like have.
46:14
Hard.
46:15
Yeah.
46:15
For some reason they don't block out the blinds either.
46:18
They just have ordinary curtains.
46:20
And it's like mum and I would sometimes,
46:22
we'd just be sitting there reading, having a cup of tea,
46:24
and I'd look at my watch and go, it's midnight.
46:26
We should go to bed.
46:28
You've got no visual cues.
46:29
Yeah, that would be tough.
46:31
But so I remember what I was talking about Clive Robertson about,
46:34
but then we can come back to go on Antarctica if you want.
46:38
So he used to, when he would call a business and it would say, like,
46:42
you know, for the purposes of quality control,
46:45
your call will be recorded.
46:46
If you do not wish your call to be recorded,
46:48
please speak to one of our friendly agents.
46:50
And he would always just be like, I don't want my voice out there.
46:53
And so he would tell them, I don't want to be recorded.
46:55
I declined being recorded.
46:57
And then they'd have to,
46:58
it's usually the first time that this poor agent has ever heard that.
47:01
So then they have to go off into plan B protocol.
47:04
Someone's hitting a big red button and alarms are going off in the thing,
47:07
like, you know, stopping the tape.
47:08
And then they have to call him back and then he has to wait by his phone to
47:11
get a call back from a number that isn't being monitored because they didn't
47:14
have a switch to just turn it off and stuff.
47:17
And when I saw that, I was like, I mean, I get the point, but he's got time.
47:20
Who can be bothered?
47:21
Just record me.
47:22
Who can be bothered?
47:22
Record me and put my stupid voice out there.
47:24
Yeah, I'm the same.
47:25
I'm like, you know, they could be listening to you.
47:27
Well, let them listen.
47:28
Yeah.
47:29
Whatever.
47:30
All right, so you're going to hike across Antarctica,
47:32
and it's going to be beautiful, and you're going to do it in the summer,
47:34
and it's going to be sunny, and there's going to be penguins.
47:36
So I'd like to –
47:37
Can I ask one question about Norway in summer?
47:40
What temperature are we talking?
47:41
In the furthest north, we were talking about 2 to 8 degrees Celsius.
47:48
In the middle of summer.
47:49
Middle of summer.
47:50
Yeah, right.
47:50
Yeah.
47:50
Yeah.
47:51
So, you know, in the sort of 30s Fahrenheit for our American listeners.
47:55
It's cold.
47:55
And then once you get down to like the Arctic Circle rather than the very, very far north,
48:01
then it was more like probably 10 to like 15.
48:06
Yeah, right.
48:06
Yeah.
48:07
And then down in Oslo, it's more pleasant.
48:09
It's in the 20s.
48:10
So there's this snow, right?
48:12
There's snow.
48:13
There's snow.
48:13
It's so, yeah, but it's so cold and inhospitable that there isn't even vegetation.
48:20
So up there in Kirkenes, which is like the furthest north town, it's just rocks.
48:25
It's just like you fly in.
48:27
It's like the moon.
48:28
Yeah, right.
48:29
There's no greenery.
48:30
Yeah.
48:30
It's just rolling fields of mostly snowless rocks, but a little bit of ice still.
48:35
Is there any people who live there?
48:36
Yeah, there are crazy people live up there.
48:40
It's weird, isn't it, when people live in a real cold.
48:42
You think, why?
48:43
I don't know.
48:43
But maybe they couldn't.
48:44
I guess they were born there.
48:44
When I spoke to one guy, he was from Tunisia or someplace like that,
48:51
and he was dating a Norwegian girl whose family was from there.
48:55
And he was just, I was like, isn't it a bit cold?
48:58
He was like, I love it.
48:58
I love hiking.
48:59
I love walking.
49:00
I love fishing.
49:01
Imagine Norwegian girls are very attractive as well.
49:03
Yeah, exactly.
49:04
He just wanted to get wet a little bit.
49:06
I get it.
49:07
I don't deal with the cold.
49:07
Exactly.
49:08
He's pretending to love the cold.
49:09
Oh, I love the cold.
49:10
I love Norway.
49:11
Yeah, right, mate.
49:11
It's like an electric blanket.
49:12
Yeah, it's not like back in Tunisia.
49:14
So Taskmaster Australia.
49:17
And now the thing that interested me the most, All-Star Family Feud.
49:22
Yes.
49:23
Family Feud.
49:24
Yep.
49:25
All-Star.
49:26
Yeah.
49:26
Family Feud.
49:27
I did that with my wife and my sister-in-law, my brother.
49:31
I didn't know Family Feud.
49:32
I don't know when Family Feud went off the air.
49:35
I didn't know there was an All-Star version of Family Feud.
49:37
Yeah, it was a prime time Family Feud.
49:39
Prime time.
49:39
Yeah.
49:40
All-Star.
49:41
Well, when you say All-Star, I mean,
49:43
And I was, you know, I'm well-known.
49:45
It says it right here, all-star.
49:47
My brother's a star, but he's not well-known.
49:49
He makes cheese for a living.
49:51
He's a shorter version of me.
49:53
They were coattailing on the Hughes phenomenon.
49:56
People think he's funny, and now you go, he's funnier than you.
49:58
Fair enough, he's funnier than you.
50:00
He's not the one paying the big tax and rolling in the cash
50:03
and flying his family to South Africa to get out of celebrity town.
50:06
It's not just being funny.
50:07
You've got to be consistently funny.
50:09
It's like being funny when now.
50:11
Now be funny.
50:12
He's funny.
50:13
No doubt he's funny, but can he be funny now?
50:15
He probably can if he worked at it, but he hasn't worked at it.
50:17
He hasn't worked at it.
50:18
I remember Billy Connolly saying that,
50:20
like how much it pissed him off when people would say like,
50:23
oh, yeah, I love you.
50:24
I reckon I could do what you do.
50:26
And he's like, you know, it's one thing to be funny at a party.
50:30
We had a couple of beers.
50:31
Everyone's laughing.
50:33
Yeah, it's a totally different thing when you have to go out
50:36
to the opera house on a cold, rainy night, you know,
50:39
on the other side of the world from everybody you love
50:41
and you really don't want to go.
50:42
and then to make them all laugh.
50:44
Yeah, strangers.
50:45
But you do the work.
50:46
You trust the work, you know.
50:48
And again, I was funny.
50:49
I had a natural talent for it, I believed.
50:52
But you've got to put in the work to make it consistent.
50:55
So it's all about consistency.
50:57
Keep at it.
50:58
Hence, all-star Family Feud.
51:00
Yeah.
51:00
Did you win?
51:01
Who were you against?
51:03
How does Family Feud even work?
51:05
You've got to guess what the most boring and predictable answer is
51:09
because you're guessing what other people guessed.
51:11
Most people would say.
51:12
See, I think I'd be bad at it because I'm too left field.
51:15
My mind's too weird.
51:16
I'd be too innovative.
51:18
I'm not great.
51:19
I can't remember how I personally went.
51:21
I think we did win, actually.
51:23
It was against Kate Langbrook, who we used to do a radio show together for many years.
51:30
So it was her and her husband.
51:32
Right.
51:33
So it was Battle of the Titans who know each other.
51:36
Yeah, and her brother, who's like a minister in the Queensland government, John Paul.
51:41
Okay.
51:41
JP.
51:42
Okay.
51:43
So he was the opposition leader for a while in Queensland.
51:46
And now they're in government.
51:47
He's not the premier, but he's the minister for sport, I think.
51:52
Of all the things you could be talking about right now,
51:54
Kate Langbrook's brother's role in the Queensland government
51:58
is the least interesting to me.
52:00
He was a dentist.
52:01
Even worse.
52:03
Even less interesting.
52:04
His daughter is now doing radio as well.
52:06
You won an ARIA award in 2007.
52:09
Yeah.
52:09
One of my very few.
52:10
That's the biggest.
52:10
You're the only one
52:12
The only Aria
52:13
Isn't it?
52:14
My only Aria
52:14
But I haven't won many awards at all
52:16
It's a big musical
52:16
It's like winning a Grammy here
52:17
For a comedy album
52:19
Yeah
52:19
And as I said
52:20
Lots of radio
52:22
Lots of radio hosting
52:24
Yeah
52:25
One award
52:25
We won an award
52:26
Triple M
52:28
Our first show
52:29
First year
52:29
We won best radio show
52:32
At the radio awards
52:33
Is that right?
52:34
First year on air
52:35
And I thought
52:36
Downhill from there
52:37
Yes
52:37
Never won it again
52:38
That's it
52:39
Stayed on air for 20 years
52:40
Never won it again.
52:41
Amazing.
52:42
Amazing.
52:42
And I didn't take in, honestly, it was so new,
52:45
I didn't even know about the radio awards.
52:47
It's like, oh, here we are, we won the award, who cares?
52:50
And our attitude, certainly my attitude was, who cares?
52:52
And then 20 years later, you're like, to even be nominated would be great.
52:56
Would have been an honour.
52:56
Would have been an honour.
52:57
A real honour.
52:58
It was an honour.
52:58
Yeah.
52:59
You worked with my mate Ed Cavalli for many years.
53:02
He's done a, we just did a film with Ed.
53:04
Oh, great.
53:04
Ed just wrote and directed and produced a film, which is funded by, I don't know who, but it's...
53:13
A Saudi billionaire?
53:15
Well, he would like to...
53:16
Well, no, not...
53:17
Well, unless they are really tight these days, Saudi billionaires.
53:19
No.
53:20
So it was done at the bare bones, but he got it done.
53:23
So he hasn't edited it yet, but he filmed it all at Channel 10, in fact.
53:29
Wow.
53:29
And there's no one there now, to be honest.
53:31
No, exactly.
53:32
A conventional radio or television studio.
53:34
You could just sneak in, couldn't you?
53:36
He probably got in with your window trick,
53:39
shinnying up the window up, almost cutting his fingers off.
53:43
He probably snuck in the back of Channel 10,
53:44
found an old abandoned studio.
53:46
Let's go.
53:47
The security guard who I've known for years,
53:49
because I've done a lot of work at Channel 10 over the last 25 years
53:52
or whatever, he just looked at me as I walked in and said,
53:55
it's just good to have people back here.
53:59
That's so sad.
54:00
Well, it's like, you know.
54:02
What's happening to television?
54:03
What's going on?
54:04
It's all this now.
54:06
See, I jumped at just the right time.
54:09
It's the digital era and the way of, you know,
54:13
it's the old legacy media is just not what it was.
54:16
And it's, you know, I've got to, maybe I should stop saying it
54:18
because I'm, you know, adding to the.
54:21
To the narrative.
54:21
The narrative.
54:22
But it feels like it's just there.
54:23
I think people have got the memo regardless of whether
54:25
Husey tells them that there's a lot of things that they can watch
54:28
on their phone or their TV that are not the conventional
54:32
legacy media.
54:33
So that old world where all the money was is not really there anymore.
54:37
And a lot of the buildings are still there,
54:39
and a lot of major companies are probably thinking,
54:43
why are we paying for these buildings when there's no one in them
54:45
and our profits are going through the floor?
54:47
We should make a movie.
54:47
We should do what Ed did.
54:49
Make a movie, use the free studio space,
54:52
set it in a submarine or something where you don't need a lot of outdoor shooting.
54:57
There's one set.
54:58
You put it on a plane.
54:59
Snake's on a plane part two.
55:01
It's one set.
55:02
Yeah.
55:04
That's it.
55:04
Well, mate, well, I get it.
55:05
But I mean, I know what it's like as in like these days, you know, you can do a TV thing,
55:10
you've got makeup, you've got everyone doing everything perfectly, but you put that clip
55:15
online and it hardly gets any views.
55:16
But if I do a face to camera with no makeup and half the comments are, what's wrong with
55:21
your skin?
55:22
But it gets like, you know, 100,000 or a million views.
55:25
That's right.
55:26
And it's like on your own.
55:27
Yeah.
55:28
It's like crazy how the world's changed.
55:29
It's been that way for a while.
55:31
I mean, I remember doing a, when I was living in New York,
55:33
I had a segment on the Today Show at NBC,
55:36
which everybody thinks is the most important show.
55:38
You know, like maybe along with the Tonight Show.
55:40
It's like this jewel in the crown.
55:42
Yeah, you've made it.
55:44
Rockefeller Center.
55:45
You've made it on a world scale.
55:47
Al Roker.
55:48
Mate, I'm jealous.
55:50
Yes.
55:50
I know, mate.
55:51
Whatever those.
55:51
Kathy Lee.
55:52
The guy who got arrested, did he?
55:53
Yeah.
55:54
He got cancelled or something.
55:55
He got cancelled.
55:56
Yeah.
55:56
And everything's happened.
55:57
Matt Lauer.
55:58
I was
55:59
I was
56:00
yeah
56:00
not on Matt's segment
56:01
but anyway
56:02
so
56:03
and I would always think
56:04
my podcast is going to go through the roof
56:05
yeah
56:06
all my work on Half Post
56:07
or Live
56:08
or whatever I was doing
56:08
is going to go through the roof
56:10
and
56:10
because everyone thinks
56:11
well 40 million people
56:12
watch it every day
56:13
or something
56:14
yeah
56:15
I would get one text message
56:16
from like someone
56:17
you know
56:18
who knew someone
56:18
who knew someone
56:19
saying oh I saw you on
56:20
today this morning
56:21
yeah
56:22
and then I'd go on
56:24
a big podcast
56:25
a Rogan
56:26
or something
56:27
and my podcast
56:28
would immediately be into the number two podcast on all of iTunes.
56:32
Mate, excuse me, have you done Rogan Podcast?
56:34
Yeah, seven times.
56:36
I should know that.
56:37
I'm not.
56:37
That's all right.
56:38
I mean, I agree.
56:39
I was over there.
56:40
My point is not to broke post about that.
56:41
No, I'm happy for you to post.
56:42
You're not posting.
56:43
I'm just happy to hear that.
56:44
Yes, just to say, like, I think with the 40 million people,
56:47
it's just on in the background while we're making sandwiches for the kids,
56:51
you know, the Today Show, and nobody's really watching it.
56:54
They're just sort of like, it's wallpaper, basically.
56:56
Like, it's very expensive wallpaper to produce,
56:59
and advertisers spend a lot to be on the wallpaper, or they used to.
57:02
Yeah.
57:02
But podcasts and the other content, people are choosing.
57:05
They're going through their feed, and they're, like, going, yes, click.
57:07
It's an active click.
57:08
And I think it's more talking directly to them, I think.
57:12
So, yeah, you're right.
57:13
So, yeah, I know what, you know, I've done TV shows in Australia,
57:17
not on a world scale like you, but I have, yeah, like, which are good shows.
57:22
And you feel like, did I just enter the Witness relocation program?
57:27
there's no one at all seen that even if the ratings aren't too bad but is it the ratings
57:34
aren't that bad someone must have someone has someone has to who was watching this according
57:39
to this thing people did watch it but i've got no feedback yeah at all yeah but then i'll do a like
57:45
a rave a 30 second rave on my instagram and have people in the street going oh that was really
57:50
funny man yeah it's interesting going on i know anyway but there's no money for me to do in the
57:55
instant instagram i'm not i don't know how to monetize do a podcast i know i've got it i'm
57:59
i bought a podcast van and i haven't bought a van how old school are you what the fuck is a
58:05
podcast van i had a dream after i finished radio that i would just like drive around in my van
58:11
with the podcast judo inside the van i'm just so i just haven't done it and it's sitting on the
58:17
street at the front of our house.
58:19
And my wife, even today, I think she said, what's going on with that van?
58:23
Is it emblazoned with anything on the side of it?
58:25
Mate, it's a white van.
58:27
It looks like any other white van.
58:29
Not at all sus.
58:29
No, I know.
58:30
But actually, I won't tell you.
58:32
Hey, kids.
58:33
Come on in and do a podcast with me.
58:36
I have got the local mechanic around, you know, the roadside assistance.
58:42
Yes.
58:43
To recharge the battery four times.
58:45
The same guy comes around.
58:47
But you understand that the good thing about a podcast is you don't require equipment like a van.
58:53
I know.
58:53
I just thought if I have a van.
58:55
You don't even need this studio.
58:55
You just need a quiet place and a couple of decent mics.
58:59
I know, but I thought if I have a van, it'll just be better.
59:02
You're overcomplicating things.
59:03
I know, but it's...
59:04
Is this a thing that you do in the rest of your life?
59:06
I'm not really.
59:06
You overcomplicate things.
59:07
Sometimes, but look, it's now the van is not even registered, so I can't even drive it now.
59:16
So it's got a flat battery again.
59:18
It's not registered.
59:19
Does it have podcasting equipment in the back of it?
59:21
Yeah, it's got everything, man.
59:22
It's got everything.
59:22
Have you got the acoustics on the walls of the van?
59:24
Yes.
59:25
It was already set up before I bought it.
59:28
Oh, right.
59:29
You literally bought it.
59:29
I bought a podcast van.
59:31
And they were like, this sucker.
59:32
They were like, this idiot.
59:34
The guy actually rang me a while back and said,
59:36
mate, you ever going to do something?
59:37
Do you want me to help you?
59:37
He was like, you know what?
59:38
You know what you need?
59:39
You need a podcast van.
59:41
That's what you need.
59:42
And you were such a sucker, you fell for it.
59:44
No, I asked him about it.
59:45
He didn't, I can't blame him at all.
59:47
It is a bit sus.
59:48
I mean, not only is a middle-aged man driving around a white van a bit sus,
59:52
but the fact that it's acoustically protected on the inside
59:55
so nobody can hear the screams.
59:58
If you wanted to, like, produce adult content,
1:00:01
I mean, obviously legal adult content.
1:00:03
Yeah, sure.
1:00:05
Or illegal adult content.
1:00:07
The van would be tailor-made for him.
1:00:09
It really would be, yeah.
1:00:11
I mean, I should at least get a mattress in there.
1:00:13
I've got a mate who has got a flat, he's a comedian, but he rents his flat out on Airbnb
1:00:19
and sleeps in his car.
1:00:21
Right.
1:00:21
And I said, mate, you can sleep in the van if you want to.
1:00:23
He goes, no, I don't want to.
1:00:24
He'd rather sleep in his car.
1:00:25
Okay.
1:00:26
I think he's just being nice.
1:00:27
I think you would rather sleep in the van.
1:00:30
I think he would, but he hasn't slept in the van.
1:00:32
Okay.
1:00:33
So you haven't got a podcast, but you have a podcast van, which is the opposite of the
1:00:37
way that most people begin in podcasting, which is they get a podcast and not a van.
1:00:43
I know.
1:00:44
But you've done it the other way around.
1:00:45
I've done it the other way around.
1:00:45
Van first.
1:00:46
Yeah.
1:00:47
No podcast.
1:00:47
No podcast.
1:00:48
Because I go on like this.
1:00:50
I go on a lot of podcasts.
1:00:51
But now here you're giving me money.
1:00:53
You're giving you some money in ticket sales.
1:00:55
Yeah.
1:00:55
You're basically giving me and my producer money.
1:00:59
Yeah.
1:00:59
You know, through your labor.
1:01:01
Yeah.
1:01:01
Whatever happens standing up for the working man and your wife going on strike, workers
1:01:06
of the world unite.
1:01:07
I know.
1:01:07
You know, you stick up for Husey.
1:01:09
Husey has to stick up for Husey sometimes.
1:01:11
I know.
1:01:12
You do your content.
1:01:14
You put your podcast out there.
1:01:16
I know.
1:01:16
You ask me to come on your show.
1:01:18
I have to work for you for free.
1:01:19
Mate, I get a lot of podcasts and a lot of them,
1:01:23
and I get it and they clip it up and put it on Instagram
1:01:26
and they want me to collaborate.
1:01:29
And I've got like 300 and something thousand followers on Instagram,
1:01:33
whatever.
1:01:34
I know that doesn't matter.
1:01:35
You can have that many followers and then you still might not make the algorithm.
1:01:39
It's all about content.
1:01:40
It doesn't matter about the amount of followers now, apparently.
1:01:42
That's what they say.
1:01:44
Yeah.
1:01:44
Anyway, but I do, some of my hits get, some of my bits get over a million views.
1:01:49
And I collaborate on their podcast, so I'm promoting their podcast.
1:01:53
Yeah.
1:01:54
But not my own, because I don't have one.
1:01:55
You'll definitely collaborate on this one, right?
1:01:57
Yeah, I'd love to.
1:01:57
Well, mate, you know, anything, how do I get on Rogue and what do I do?
1:02:01
Yeah.
1:02:02
You tell me.
1:02:03
The number of times I get asked that question, tell you what, I get, you know, my phone will
1:02:07
light up and I'll get the Lindsay Lohan call, right?
1:02:09
Yes.
1:02:09
You know, like, you know, oh, this is great.
1:02:11
Someone who, I wonder what they want.
1:02:13
Yeah.
1:02:14
And then they'll do a minute of chit-chat and then they'll be like,
1:02:16
so I'm just producing this thing.
1:02:18
We really wanted to interview Rogan about it.
1:02:20
I'm like, you're not getting his number.
1:02:21
He wouldn't.
1:02:22
Oh, I couldn't.
1:02:23
I get it, mate.
1:02:25
I get it, mate.
1:02:25
I know.
1:02:26
It was a joke.
1:02:27
You know what it's like.
1:02:27
It was a joke, but if you can help me, I would be appreciative.
1:02:30
So, oh, how about Kyle Sandilands?
1:02:33
Oh, with the.
1:02:34
Oh, my God.
1:02:35
So for non-Australian listeners, the biggest paid radio duo in Australia have just had a falling out.
1:02:44
We probably better be careful about what we say because I think there is legal action and stuff like that.
1:02:49
Suffice it to say that there's a brouhaha between a big Australian radio network and its two highest paid stars,
1:02:59
one of whom you got into a legendary spat with.
1:03:03
Yeah.
1:03:04
I think you were at the Logie Awards.
1:03:05
Yeah, which is the Australian TV Awards.
1:03:08
The Emmys, essentially.
1:03:09
I was doing-
1:03:10
You were a co-host.
1:03:11
Yes.
1:03:11
And I did a joke about this guy.
1:03:14
He was in the room.
1:03:16
And normally when you're hosting an awards ceremony,
1:03:19
you want the camera to go on the person you're joking about
1:03:22
if they are in the room because everyone knows,
1:03:24
all right, so, you know, oh, God, how's that person going to react to the joke?
1:03:28
Yeah, you see them laugh or they cringe or they put their head in their hands.
1:03:32
And so I normally would give someone a heads up if I'm doing a joke about them.
1:03:37
I'm going, mate, I'm going to do a joke about you.
1:03:39
You're cool.
1:03:40
It's going to be fine.
1:03:41
I remember Richard Wilkins, who's a famous sort of entertainment reporter,
1:03:47
I said to him, I'm going to do a joke about you.
1:03:48
And he goes, oh, please don't, mate.
1:03:50
I've got a new girlfriend.
1:03:51
I really want this to work out.
1:03:52
Can you not joke about me?
1:03:53
And I said, oh, God, all right, I will leave you out.
1:03:55
Anyway, so, but I didn't this day with this awards,
1:03:59
I didn't say anything that Kyle was,
1:04:01
I'm like, oh, God, I don't really know him.
1:04:03
There was a moment I could have said something, but I didn't.
1:04:06
I just let him walk past.
1:04:08
And so on the night, I'm doing jokes about everyone.
1:04:11
Everyone's laughing.
1:04:12
They're laughing about being mocked.
1:04:13
So it's all good fun until I did the joke about him,
1:04:16
and he didn't laugh at all.
1:04:17
And it probably got the biggest laugh from me.
1:04:19
What did you call him?
1:04:21
I called him a massive dickhead.
1:04:24
But, yeah, but it was in context.
1:04:27
Yeah.
1:04:27
Yeah, so the context was Anthony Kalea, who got famous on Australian Idol.
1:04:33
Musician.
1:04:34
Yeah, who's a lovely guy, and he'd come out as gay, and good on him,
1:04:38
and he's a great guy, who cares.
1:04:40
But it's like, and the joke was, oh, what's another surprise from that show?
1:04:45
And there's a guy, Sebastian.
1:04:46
Oh, because Kyle was a judge on Australian Idol.
1:04:48
He was a judge on the show.
1:04:49
He was the mean judge for people who are not, you know, the foreign versions.
1:04:53
Yeah, so the joke was Guy Sebastian, who's another famous guy from Australia,
1:04:58
had an afro.
1:05:01
What other surprise are we going to get?
1:05:02
Has Guy Sebastian got curly hair?
1:05:04
He's got an afro, obviously he does.
1:05:06
Has Shannon Knoll, who's another sort of Aussie sort of bogan,
1:05:10
is he a massive bogan?
1:05:12
You know, he's got a laugh.
1:05:13
And is Kyle Sennons, is he a massive dickhead?
1:05:15
Anyway, and the whole room erupted.
1:05:17
Yeah.
1:05:18
And he took it like the whole room.
1:05:19
Also, the thing is, his persona is that he is.
1:05:22
Yes.
1:05:23
His whole shtick is that he is.
1:05:25
He's the blunt-talking, you know, call it like it is.
1:05:28
I'm not going to take any nonsense from anybody persona.
1:05:31
And I'm going to, if I think a comedian's not funny or something,
1:05:34
I'm going to say it publicly.
1:05:35
Yeah, I'm going to rip people apart.
1:05:37
Yeah, so here's the thing.
1:05:38
It's a bit rich to be precious about it.
1:05:41
My comedian mates, he'd never ripped me,
1:05:43
but my comedian mates, he'd ripped quite a few of them, like publicly,
1:05:46
and I didn't like it.
1:05:48
So I did that joke, hoping that he would just laugh at it,
1:05:51
But he really cracked it and then went on another TV show and said he wanted to punch me in the throat.
1:05:55
And it was like, that was years ago.
1:05:57
But anyway, he's kept being very successful in Sydney radio.
1:06:02
But then they were offered, I know I've also done radio for a long time.
1:06:06
So part of me having a go at him is jealousy, no doubt.
1:06:09
And I've said that to him.
1:06:11
I said that to him once and he said, oh, that makes me hard.
1:06:14
That's what he said.
1:06:15
Fair enough.
1:06:16
So anyway, and they got a $200 million contract.
1:06:20
And so I was doing Sydney Radio at the same time, and we were struggling on our network, and there's no doubt about it.
1:06:25
But I did think, and I was massively jealous of the $200 million, but also I did think, where's that coming from?
1:06:32
The industry, as we know, as all legacy media, is going down.
1:06:37
There's no profits anymore.
1:06:39
How are they going to pay the $200 million?
1:06:41
I did think that at the time.
1:06:42
I didn't say it, but I thought it.
1:06:44
And now they've been sacked, and who knows why.
1:06:47
But the fact is that the company can't.
1:06:51
That's also part in dispute still, whether they have been sacked or whether they left or whether they, I mean, I'm just cautious about not misrepresenting.
1:06:59
Who knows?
1:07:00
But the $200 million was over 10 years.
1:07:02
And I think the geniuses at the radio station were going, all right, well, $200 million over 10 years is actually only $20 million a year.
1:07:09
And if we put them in not just Sydney but also Melbourne and Brisbane
1:07:14
and then we roll them out across all of the major markets,
1:07:16
then we're actually saving money because we don't have to pay local talent anymore.
1:07:20
The problem was they put them on in Melbourne and Melbourne listeners were like,
1:07:25
who's this massive dickhead?
1:07:26
Well, yeah, I'm using that now.
1:07:31
I know.
1:07:32
I went to the Sydney market myself and it's hard to get traction, you know,
1:07:36
in a different market.
1:07:37
It's a very different market.
1:07:38
It's a very different style.
1:07:39
Sydney is a lot faster, punchier, less convivial.
1:07:45
It's a more –
1:07:46
There is that.
1:07:47
I know what you're saying, but it's also timing.
1:07:50
People got to remember, most of life is luck.
1:07:54
You can say – I can say, and I've said it many times over the years,
1:07:56
no, I work hard.
1:07:58
I'm a genius.
1:07:58
I've said that in my mind and out loud, as I just did.
1:08:01
I'm saying it right now to myself.
1:08:02
Yes, but what I should have realised is that luck plays a massive part
1:08:08
in everyone's success.
1:08:10
So you've got to hit the timing right.
1:08:12
And so we started a radio show in Melbourne in 2001,
1:08:17
and it went off straightaway.
1:08:19
It was successful straightaway.
1:08:21
And I thought, I'm a genius.
1:08:22
But you know what?
1:08:22
Timing.
1:08:24
Some markets need a new show.
1:08:26
There's room for a show.
1:08:28
I went into Sydney Radio where there was all these legacy shows
1:08:31
which had been on air for a long time, but they had their rusted-on audiences.
1:08:36
And so there was no room for me at that time, I believe, to get there.
1:08:40
And I tried for four years and had some success but not a lot.
1:08:44
But, again, it was the timing.
1:08:46
And then so these guys coming into the Melbourne market,
1:08:49
which was already well catered in whatever, the timing was wrong.
1:08:53
You can't just – it's like you think you're the best
1:08:56
but then you realise the emperor has no clothes and no one really cares.
1:09:01
So I'm not saying they didn't work in Melbourne because they were useless.
1:09:04
I'm just saying the timing wasn't right.
1:09:06
But whether they worked in Melbourne or not, there was too much money.
1:09:09
Yeah.
1:09:09
The industry can't afford it.
1:09:11
Yeah.
1:09:12
Well, I don't know.
1:09:14
Obviously, they had some rationale that if they could put them on in five major markets,
1:09:17
then it would be worth it.
1:09:19
But, yes, you're probably right that it was inevitable that in five years or ten years,
1:09:23
advertisers were not going to be paying the same kind of rates that they were paying at the time that they signed the contract.
1:09:27
Why wouldn't you just look at what the world is and go, what?
1:09:30
And I did at the time, I was like, what?
1:09:32
How's that going to work?
1:09:33
Anyway.
1:09:34
But I still think, I mean, I take your point about timing very much,
1:09:37
but I also do think that markets have a particular flavour.
1:09:41
You know, radio in Australia is a big institution in a way that it's not
1:09:45
really in the States.
1:09:46
In the States, it's about music or it's about right-wing talkback
1:09:49
or there's public radio.
1:09:51
But, like, here and in the UK, it's a major part of people's lives
1:09:55
and each market has a different character.
1:09:58
And they tried putting Alan Jones on in Melbourne
1:10:00
and it didn't work.
1:10:01
There is like, it is, I only say this
1:10:04
because it was told to me at the ABC
1:10:06
and I believe that their research bears it out
1:10:10
when I was an ABC presenter,
1:10:11
that Melburnians like a much more chilled out,
1:10:16
friendly, local feeling vibe.
1:10:22
I think locals are more into the glitz, the glamour, the punch them up,
1:10:30
the kind of exciting radio.
1:10:33
Yeah, look, I think that's overblown.
1:10:36
I think that way of thinking, which I know is prevalent in the world,
1:10:42
and you could easily say, look, they didn't work here and that's why.
1:10:45
But I did a drive show on their network and we made up after this award
1:10:51
ceremony, brouhaha.
1:10:53
And on the drive in there in Sydney, we were number one.
1:10:59
And, you know, I was still doing what I always did.
1:11:02
It was my same thing.
1:11:03
So it was no, but we were exposed to this audience who were already rusted on to the
1:11:09
Kyle and Jackie O audience.
1:11:11
And they loved us in the afternoon.
1:11:12
Yeah.
1:11:13
Well, I must say that orthodoxy is about breakfast, is about what people want when they're driving
1:11:18
to work.
1:11:20
which is also really hard to do a non-local show at that time of day
1:11:23
because people do want to know what the weather is
1:11:25
and they do want to know if there's a police operation in the city
1:11:27
and they do want to know what the traffic's doing
1:11:29
and they do want to know if there's a bus strike
1:11:31
which you can't do if you're syndicated between two cities
1:11:35
but you can do that in the afternoon.
1:11:36
The local thing, absolutely agree.
1:11:38
Local makes...
1:11:39
I pretended to live in Sydney for four years.
1:11:41
Yeah, right.
1:11:42
And we never moved.
1:11:43
Yeah.
1:11:44
And I would be like, I couldn't do any social posting...
1:11:47
No.
1:11:47
...at all because most of it you could say I was in Melbourne
1:11:50
So I had to shut that.
1:11:51
It was ridiculous.
1:11:52
You needed to get in the back of your van a little skyline of Sydney
1:11:56
in your podcast van, a little opera house and a harbour bridge,
1:11:59
just do a photo from there.
1:12:01
Just be like, here I am enjoying this beautiful harbour city that I live in.
1:12:04
Whenever I was in Sydney, I was in Sydney every week, to be honest,
1:12:07
for a couple of days, but the family never moved.
1:12:09
So I could never really tell stories that were completely true
1:12:12
because most of the stories were Melbourne stories
1:12:14
and I had to pretend they weren't.
1:12:16
But, yeah, that's a tough situation.
1:12:20
So you released an official apology to Kyle after calling him a massive dickhead, which said that you're sincerely and deeply sorry that Kyle Sanderlands is a massive dickhead and that massive dickheads have the same rights as normal people.
1:12:33
And to his credit, he laughed at that.
1:12:36
So I think he eventually got that.
1:12:38
And I get it.
1:12:40
Again, I've had people tear strips off me over many years, and I used to get really offended by it.
1:12:46
I did.
1:12:47
and I would hold grudges against people who said negative things about me.
1:12:50
Oh, there's no time for that.
1:12:51
And I've realised that now and now I've completely given that up
1:12:55
and I now honestly just don't care.
1:12:58
And it's so relaxing.
1:13:00
It's so relaxing not to care about the millions and millions of opinions
1:13:04
that you might have against you if you're lucky enough
1:13:08
to become a public figure.
1:13:09
That's right.
1:13:10
I mean, there's too many of them now anyway.
1:13:12
Like back in the day maybe when you were starting out,
1:13:14
you only probably got feedback from, I don't know, agents, managers,
1:13:18
audience members.
1:13:19
Right, okay.
1:13:20
I remember letters to the editor.
1:13:22
Of a newspaper.
1:13:23
Of a newspaper.
1:13:24
Once a week.
1:13:25
They would write in.
1:13:25
You're like, oh, God, has someone slagged me off in the letters to the editor?
1:13:28
I remember when I first started on TV,
1:13:31
it's like getting slagged off in the green guide,
1:13:34
which is like a TV guide.
1:13:38
Yeah.
1:13:39
And being so heartbroken about some person who didn't want to ever see me on TV
1:13:43
again that I couldn't wait for the next week for someone to rebut that.
1:13:47
You know, when like someone read it the previous week,
1:13:50
Eric from Echuca said this about Dave Hughes.
1:13:52
He's wrong.
1:13:52
Dave Hughes is great.
1:13:54
Next week, no one had rebutted it.
1:13:55
I'm like, to the point that I got my wife, who was my girlfriend then,
1:14:00
to come up with a fake email address.
1:14:03
Yep, yep.
1:14:04
And I said, this is what you're going to write?
1:14:05
Yep, yep.
1:14:06
She was a journalist.
1:14:07
I'm not comfortable with this.
1:14:08
I said, no, no one will know it's you.
1:14:10
Hello, my name is John Johnson.
1:14:14
I believe that the best person on television is Dave Hughes,
1:14:18
Hughsey Hughes.
1:14:19
And they printed it.
1:14:20
It was obviously the only one they got.
1:14:21
Great.
1:14:22
I love it.
1:14:23
I'm like, see?
1:14:24
See?
1:14:25
People love me.
1:14:28
And I've written it.
1:14:28
It's so stupid.
1:14:29
But, I mean, just as unrepresentative as that is of public opinion,
1:14:34
your feed is also now.
1:14:35
So now that's multiplied by a million because everyone can comment
1:14:38
and give their opinion on social media.
1:14:41
But that's equally unrepresentative because sane people aren't doing it.
1:14:45
But you know what?
1:14:47
And I have copped so much flack online over the years, no doubt about it.
1:14:50
But it's become like an ice bath makes you don't worry about the cold.
1:14:55
Yeah.
1:14:55
So once you start doing regular ice baths,
1:14:57
you don't worry about cold weather ever again.
1:14:59
And that's what the internet is for me.
1:15:01
I've been slagged off so much that I realise it doesn't matter.
1:15:04
Yeah.
1:15:05
And so that's why I try to teach my kids.
1:15:07
No, we're all going, don't be mean online or outlaw meanness online.
1:15:11
I used to be involved.
1:15:12
I was like, yeah, that person should never go online again.
1:15:15
Now I've realized that, hang on, that doesn't matter.
1:15:19
I control my own thoughts.
1:15:22
And I try to say to my kids, forget about what anyone else's opinion of you.
1:15:26
It means nothing.
1:15:28
And just you are in control of your mood.
1:15:30
And you also say to your kids, that means you're allowed to bully whoever you want
1:15:33
because it's really on them if they get upset.
1:15:37
I like that advice to kids.
1:15:39
Bully away.
1:15:40
No, I don't say bully.
1:15:41
Me and Mo, we're very, I don't hardly ever slag anyone off at home.
1:15:46
I like the ice bath analogy.
1:15:48
It's like resilience against people being shitheads on social media.
1:15:52
You'll never be able to stop it.
1:15:54
Much like an ice bath repairs the mitochondria, the DNA,
1:15:58
and like the cell regrowth, the neural networks are literally
1:16:03
stitching themselves back together, Dave Hughes,
1:16:06
when you build resilience against people being dickheads online.
1:16:08
Yes.
1:16:09
Are you being serious now?
1:16:11
I mean, partly.
1:16:13
No, I agree.
1:16:14
No, I'm not really being serious, but I reckon it is the best way
1:16:18
to survive the 21st century.
1:16:20
What show are you doing at the Comedy Festival?
1:16:21
It's called Cooked.
1:16:22
I feel like we need to get that in.
1:16:23
Yes, Cooked.
1:16:24
It's every night, and it's going around Australia as well.
1:16:26
I've already done some states.
1:16:29
I'm at Melbourne at the moment, and then I think it's Brisbane
1:16:33
or Hobart, oh no, Launceston.
1:16:35
I don't know.
1:16:36
I'm all around Australia.
1:16:37
Almost as interesting as the commentary about Kate Langbrook's brother
1:16:41
in the Queensland government.
1:16:42
So, yeah, cook.
1:16:43
Go to Dave Hughes.
1:16:44
Make up some dates about what cities, what towns you're going to be in.
1:16:47
Oh, I'm all over the joint.
1:16:48
Davehughes.com.au.
1:16:49
Go to Davehughes.com.au and then buy some tickets.
1:16:53
And is it called Cooked for any reason?
1:16:55
Yeah, because I played in a charity football match, AFL,
1:16:59
which is massive in Australia, in some states of Australia.
1:17:04
That's Australian rules
1:17:05
Football
1:17:06
Yeah, so it's a bit like gridiron without helmets
1:17:09
Sort of, but it's dangerous
1:17:10
It's a fast game
1:17:10
It's dangerous
1:17:12
And I played at the age of 54
1:17:14
With these legends of the game
1:17:15
And most of them were in their 30s or 40s
1:17:18
I was the only one in their 50s
1:17:19
And I'm not a professional
1:17:21
I'm not a former professional footballer
1:17:23
And I played thinking it would be a bit of fun
1:17:25
But the opposition coach
1:17:27
He's a character
1:17:28
He was a great footballer himself
1:17:30
And I know him well
1:17:31
He thought it'd be funny to get his team to target me, being the oldest and sort of the grumpiest, I suppose, player.
1:17:38
And he said in his pre-match address, I don't care whether you win or lose, just make sure Dave Hughes never wants to play again.
1:17:44
So make sure you all tackle him, and when you do, make it count.
1:17:48
And a lot of the players took that up.
1:17:52
Yeah.
1:17:52
And so I'm out there thinking I'm not going to be like a special needs kid
1:17:55
who just gets sort of shuffled down and allowed to kick a goal
1:17:59
so I can have my moment.
1:18:01
I thought that was me, but it wasn't.
1:18:04
I got five broken ribs and a punctured lung.
1:18:07
Wait, that's not true.
1:18:07
It's true, yeah.
1:18:08
That's true?
1:18:09
Yeah, and I kept playing.
1:18:10
That was the funny bit.
1:18:11
I kept playing.
1:18:12
I kept playing with five broken ribs and a punctured lung,
1:18:15
and I ended up kicking a goal, and it was a proud moment in my life,
1:18:19
and I got knocked over again.
1:18:20
and I knew I was sick, but I didn't know how sick until the next morning where,
1:18:25
because they said you should get an ambulance while I was playing.
1:18:28
Yeah, of course.
1:18:28
I said, no, I'll be fine.
1:18:29
I'll keep going.
1:18:30
You went home and you slept with a punctured lung.
1:18:31
Yes.
1:18:32
And my wife woke me up at like three o'clock in the morning and said,
1:18:34
you don't sound good.
1:18:35
No.
1:18:35
There's weird noises coming out of you.
1:18:36
The wheezing.
1:18:37
Yeah.
1:18:37
The wheezing.
1:18:38
And I said, I don't know if I can even get up now.
1:18:40
But I ended up at the hospital, got an x-ray,
1:18:42
and they said five broken ribs, a punctured lung.
1:18:45
And I knew it was a very well-watched game.
1:18:47
So in the AFL, it was a big sport, as I said.
1:18:51
It was the second most watched game for the year in Australia,
1:18:55
just behind the grand final of the actual.
1:18:57
Everyone just wanted to see Hughsy getting beaten up.
1:18:59
Well, they were loving it, seeing me getting beaten up.
1:19:02
But some of them would have thought I was acting,
1:19:04
but I did have five broken ribs at Punchline.
1:19:06
Amazing.
1:19:07
And so then I did a lot of, anyway.
1:19:09
So I've turned that into a very funny show,
1:19:13
so much so that a woman came to it the other night.
1:19:16
She's from Boston in America.
1:19:18
I think she must live in Australia now.
1:19:19
She's still got the accent.
1:19:21
She said, I've seen a lot of your shows.
1:19:22
That's the funniest ever.
1:19:23
Amazing.
1:19:24
And was that your wife also wearing a fake moustache in the audience?
1:19:30
Once I said to my wife, this crowd said I was amazing tonight,
1:19:33
and she said, people are kind, aren't they?
1:19:36
I've got a letter to the editor right here from John Johnson saying,
1:19:39
Dave Hughes's latest show is his best ever regards.
1:19:45
This Boston woman said my hair was good as well, by the way.
1:19:47
It is looking very good at the moment.
1:19:48
Yeah, I'm liking the look.
1:19:49
A couple of compliments from you.
1:19:51
Unshaven.
1:19:52
Your hair looks good as well, man.
1:19:54
Yeah, I've got a good haircut.
1:19:55
You've got a fresh cut.
1:19:55
I've got a fresh cut, yeah.
1:19:56
It looks fresh.
1:19:57
Yeah, I was doing something last week.
1:19:59
Oh, yeah, I won't tell you about it on the air.
1:20:01
I'll tell you off the air.
1:20:02
Dave Hughes, a delight, a joy.
1:20:05
Sorry I was late.
1:20:06
That's all right.
1:20:07
I know you've got them lined up, so they're coming in.
1:20:09
So if people are just tuning into the SubSac livestream,
1:20:12
Melbourne International Comedy Festival,
1:20:13
it's the big flagship first week.
1:20:15
opening with Dave Hughes today
1:20:16
and the live stream's going for like
1:20:18
nine or ten hours literally.
1:20:20
And there are going to be five different guests
1:20:22
and we'll release on the podcast as well.
1:20:23
You're good.
1:20:24
So we'll do both.
1:20:25
Josh, it's great to be here.
1:20:27
It's lovely to have a proper interview with you.
1:20:29
I felt like we were always just kind of
1:20:31
randomly talking to each other.
1:20:32
Thanks.
1:20:32
We'll be back in just one second, guys.