Latest / Live! with Fefe and Freddy / Self Handicapping, Out of this World Headlines, and more | S14E20

Transcript

Self Handicapping, Out of this World Headlines, and more | S14E20 · Live! with Fefe and Freddy

• 0:39
  Hello. Good evening, Felicia, you are
• 0:42
  muted. There you go.
• 0:52
  Already. Already starting.
• 0:55
  That's already. It's fine.
• 0:57
  This is this is how we roll. This is how we.
• 1:00
  Roll this is like this. Is live, live theater?
• 1:02
  I know you didn't change that either.
• 1:03
  I was waiting for you to change that.
• 1:05
  It's fine. Welcome to live theater.
• 1:08
  Welcome. Well, Malaysia fixes that.
• 1:11
  Welcome to live with Fifi and Freddie.
• 1:13
  We are on season 14 episode 20, if you can believe that shit
• 1:18
  already. Welcome back to your Wednesday
• 1:20
  night conversation. Oh, there you go.
• 1:25
  She fixed her name. So that is in fact Felicia Minor
• 1:28
  over there. I am Freddy, Prince Charming,
• 1:33
  and we've got all sorts of. Edward Scissorhands kind of
• 1:36
  vibe. I don't know what I was doing.
• 1:41
  Like my, my, my partner comes in while I was getting ready and
• 1:44
  she's like, what, what, what kind of what kind of luck are
• 1:47
  you going for? And I'm like, oh, this, whatever
• 1:53
  the fuck this is. I don't know.
• 1:57
  It's like a little bit of like 80s glam rock and like, I don't
• 2:02
  fucking know. This is This is what you get.
• 2:04
  Edward Scissorhands I feel like if you just added the hands you
• 2:08
  could get away with this. OK, OK, I'm not mad at that.
• 2:13
  I'm not mad at that. Like it's like a new age, kind
• 2:16
  of. Right.
• 2:17
  I'll go with it. I'm I'm I'll go with it.
• 2:20
  I'm like, I don't fucking know what I'm doing.
• 2:22
  Sometimes this is like, it's just what happens.
• 2:24
  Like, I know that I'm wearing this shirt and this hair and
• 2:28
  then I will just kind of wing it to see what like.
• 2:30
  What happens? I don't know what I'm wearing
• 2:32
  sometimes until I get in here and I put my hand in one of the
• 2:36
  tubs and an outfit comes out and I got, oh, I guess I'm wearing
• 2:40
  that tonight. And yeah, that's how I know my
• 2:43
  makeup matches and I go. See some some weeks it's a toss
• 2:47
  up. Sometimes I will like figure out
• 2:49
  what I'm doing with my face 1st and then figure out my outfit
• 2:51
  afterwards. Sometimes it's like, oh, I'm
• 2:52
  going to wear this outfit and then I have to do my face to
• 2:55
  match. So it it really it all depends
• 2:58
  on on the week. There is no like.
• 3:01
  I don't know if I could do that. I have to get the outfit first.
• 3:03
  I have to. Sometimes that's not how that
• 3:06
  works for me. It's really weird.
• 3:07
  I don't know. I don't know, but hey.
• 3:12
  We have a jam packed show. We have some things that we want
• 3:17
  to talk about other than the world turning upside down.
• 3:20
  Anyway, self handicapping. I think I'm guilty of this self.
• 3:28
  Handicap. We're all guilty of this.
• 3:30
  If you say you're not, I'm going to call bullshit because
• 3:33
  everybody is guilty like this is.
• 3:35
  Everybody does this. Oh, I wanted to pull up the
• 3:38
  video too. I'll do that when we're
• 3:40
  discussing self handicapping makes us our own enemies.
• 3:46
  Self sabotage anyone? Imagine a world where you aren't
• 3:52
  fighting over abortion rights. Is it possible?
• 4:01
  Is it possible We'll talk about it and Nutella goes to outer
• 4:07
  space and so much more. Sure.
• 4:10
  Much more. I felt like we needed like a
• 4:16
  question that was I felt the question you asked me earlier.
• 4:22
  I was like, we kind of just need something not so heavy, just.
• 4:26
  It's it was hard 'cause I was like I was toying between the
• 4:29
  two because. It's so heavy though.
• 4:32
  I know, I know, but it is educational so I'll it's fine.
• 4:39
  I'll cover it like next week or the week after or something.
• 4:42
  Or maybe something will happen and we won't have to cover it.
• 4:45
  We'll be covering the news about it anyway.
• 4:51
  Question of the week that I have this week is, what is something
• 4:56
  you do for yourself? Like what is I don't want to say
• 5:00
  self-care because I feel like we all have this like wide spectrum
• 5:04
  of like we think that it means like take a bubble bath and
• 5:08
  maybe that's not really what it is, but what thing or what I
• 5:16
  know you do a lot of guilty pleasure things to make sure,
• 5:22
  you know, keep the vibe right. What are what are some of those
• 5:26
  things? So one of the things that I do
• 5:32
  is, and this this may sound silly to some folks, but when
• 5:36
  when my partner is at her other partner's house for the night, I
• 5:42
  always make sure to do something like play video games.
• 5:50
  Usually it's play video games, you know, something like that
• 5:53
  where I have to think about anything or I can just do
• 5:56
  whatever the hell I want, make something for myself for dinner.
• 6:01
  Sometimes, not always, but sometimes I'll make something
• 6:03
  for myself for dinner that I know that, you know, most people
• 6:07
  won't eat or whatever. Maybe I will bake some cookies
• 6:14
  or something, which grant, you know, like in the long run,
• 6:18
  other people benefit from that too.
• 6:19
  But like that's, that's one of the like, if I'm like, oh, I'm
• 6:25
  craving this, then I will make this because why not like?
• 6:33
  Lemon bars. My God, I'm out of lemons
• 6:37
  currently. My tree has finally stopped for
• 6:39
  now, but don't worry 'cause there's already new lemons
• 6:42
  growing on the tree. Oh goody.
• 6:46
  Goody goody. My my tree.
• 6:49
  Is so I'll be over. I'll be over to get my.
• 6:52
  Yeah, you say that, but. You know, one day I just might
• 6:58
  show up. You'd be like, what the fuck are
• 6:59
  you doing? OK, you know what?
• 7:01
  I walked here. OK, right, right.
• 7:11
  Right. One thing I do for myself and it
• 7:15
  can kind of go in to later on, but I feel like the thing I'm
• 7:20
  doing for myself right now is working on improvement.
• 7:24
  And if you listen to our our Afterglow on Patreon, it is my
• 7:31
  moment to kind of do this thing so I feel like.
• 7:42
  Speaking of Patreon. Yeah, Speaking of Patreon, you
• 7:49
  could support us on Patreon and learn more about all the hidden
• 7:52
  things that we keep like hinting at.
• 7:55
  I know there's stuff that we talk about on Patreon that we
• 7:57
  don't, we don't, you know, we save, we save some of the, you
• 8:00
  know, good stuff about, I don't know if it's good stuff.
• 8:04
  It's other stuff that we don't talk about on air.
• 8:07
  You talk about it off air on our Patreon.
• 8:09
  Literally, I probably could get my head for saying some of.
• 8:13
  This stuff me whatever. You can support us on Patreon or
• 8:20
  join for free right now by going to patreon.com/live with Fifi
• 8:29
  and Freddie. I did post a new recipe on there
• 8:33
  for all the free folks. It's not a, it's not a fancy
• 8:37
  recipe, but it's a, it's a good one to keep in your in your back
• 8:41
  pocket for sure. You keep food in your back
• 8:45
  pocket. Yes, all the time.
• 8:48
  Gross. We'd like to thank our patrons
• 8:51
  Bill, Brandon, Cassandra, Chris and Michelle Diedrich, Jensen
• 8:56
  and Michael Casey, Star, Carrie and Corey, Joan, Laura, Madame
• 9:01
  Eskew and the Grand Arbiter, Nicole, Patricia, Mason, Shannon
• 9:06
  and I saw Suzette join, but I think she's joined as a free
• 9:11
  member. Thank you for joining me
• 9:15
  nonetheless. Maybe that's the thing.
• 9:20
  I can if you if you all join, it's not like we have droves of
• 9:25
  people running over here. So OK.
• 9:30
  But anyhow, thank you for supporting us.
• 9:34
  Somebody said to me like, we're a queer media, and I was like, I
• 9:40
  never thought of that. So thanks for supporting
• 9:43
  independent queer media and. Queer Artists.
• 9:48
  Yeah, we're just all of the things at the moment.
• 9:51
  It's just all of it. A huge thanks to Wigs of a Kind,
• 9:56
  Marissa, of Wigs of a Kind for supporting us this season.
• 10:00
  This is a Wigs of a Kind. This is like a a old baddie.
• 10:05
  That one's been around a while. This is probably I don't no.
• 10:13
  But it's held up like really well.
• 10:15
  That's like. And she's been washed, She's
• 10:17
  been blow tried, she's been. Yeah, yeah, she's gone.
• 10:23
  Through it and she's I mean we. We put these wigs through the
• 10:26
  wringer. Lord knows when Felicia takes
• 10:27
  her wigs off, they don't always just go on ahead all nice and
• 10:30
  pretty. Neither do mine.
• 10:31
  Sometimes. If you see this right, here is a
• 10:39
  wig. What is it?
• 10:44
  It may or may not be on ahead, but it's AG anyhow.
• 10:54
  If you want to support us, you can support us by giving us
• 11:00
  money. And there's AQR code that is
• 11:03
  like right by Freddy's name up there if you scan OOP, no?
• 11:09
  One side, it's right here there. Maybe I'll leave it there.
• 11:14
  Where's this one? Oh, that covers my face.
• 11:19
  That. Covers.
• 11:20
  Oh, I mean, you could leave that there too.
• 11:21
  That's fine. I mean, if you want to give a I
• 11:26
  will cover my face. Oh, it even does like a little
• 11:28
  glimmer. Oh.
• 11:30
  It's fancy. Oh my goodness, that's fine.
• 11:34
  You can leave the other one up for now.
• 11:35
  That's whatever. It's whatever.
• 11:37
  Wow, why are the the QR codes are different?
• 11:39
  Why are the QR codes different? I don't know.
• 11:43
  OK, it's fine. You know what in this?
• 11:45
  Place I I come here, I work and then I leave.
• 11:48
  OK, right. Sounds fair.
• 11:53
  My day today I just come here, get the work done and leave God.
• 11:57
  Damn, I couldn't do anything today because fucking IT is
• 12:00
  fucking awful. I'm a Fortune 5 company.
• 12:02
  That comes from that world. Sometimes it's not our fault.
• 12:06
  No, this was definitely your fault.
• 12:09
  Your IT rather but yes. Anyhow, how was your weekend?
• 12:18
  It was, it was good. Actually did some stuff
• 12:21
  Saturday. I was over at Brick Road Coffee
• 12:23
  in Tempe. They had their Other worlds
• 12:26
  Expo, which was kind of like like their trunk or treat
• 12:29
  events, but without the trunk or treating.
• 12:31
  So they had like a bunch of like queer artists and, and you know,
• 12:34
  makers and stuff did a couple fun readings.
• 12:39
  It was National Poetry Month. So I was, I read some, a couple
• 12:45
  of poems from queer and fearless and then read a couple of like
• 12:49
  Shel Silverstein because why not?
• 12:52
  So it's just very chill, you know, just whatever we, you
• 12:58
  know, managed to get some decent donations for Drag Story Hour,
• 13:01
  which was nice. So yeah, it was, it was good.
• 13:05
  It was fun. And I got out of there before it
• 13:06
  got too warm. What was in your hand in in the
• 13:11
  photo? Oh, in my hand.
• 13:14
  OK, so we, our, our fearless leader Michelle had created a
• 13:20
  like little punch wall thing where you pay like a few bucks
• 13:23
  and you get to like punch a like tissue covered cup and get a
• 13:28
  prize. It's like, you know, and some of
• 13:31
  the prizes were spices from pensies.
• 13:34
  If you're not familiar with pensies, I swear to God, we
• 13:36
  should, we should I, should I need to be sponsored by pensies.
• 13:40
  They are a spice company. They are, they've they're
• 13:45
  actually very political. They are very much anti Trump,
• 13:49
  anti mega anti everything. And they have spice like spice
• 13:54
  blends that are called things like outrage.
• 13:59
  Oh, really? Justice, the things that how,
• 14:04
  what is it? There's there's the three that's
• 14:06
  in my hand. The hashtags tell you what those
• 14:08
  3 spices are in my hand. When was the outrage?
• 14:12
  Hold on, I can't find the picture.
• 14:14
  Right, something else in the other one was Justice.
• 14:16
  I don't remember what the what the second one was, but they're
• 14:20
  a great company. I highly recommend going and
• 14:24
  getting spices from them and if you depending on where you are
• 14:28
  they may even have a brick and mortar store near you.
• 14:31
  I believe there's one in Tucson. I know there is one up here in
• 14:33
  Phoenix, but if not, order things online.
• 14:38
  They are a great company to support and they piss off the
• 14:43
  right wingers all the time which I absolutely fucking love.
• 14:46
  So if for no other reason, that is a great reason to support
• 14:49
  that. Sounds like good news.
• 14:51
  Yeah, so. But that was fun.
• 14:54
  And then I came home and so I was waiting for, I upgraded my
• 15:00
  phone. So UPS told me that my phone was
• 15:03
  going to be here sometime between 2:30 and 5:30.
• 15:07
  I'm like, OK, I can get home. I can shower, I can take a nap.
• 15:11
  And then I'll get up and hopefully my phone will be here.
• 15:15
  UPS. Oh, OK.
• 15:17
  So I'm like, OK, no problem, right?
• 15:19
  So I come home, I try to take a nap.
• 15:21
  Didn't work very well. I think I was afraid that I was
• 15:23
  going to miss the bell, like the doorbell.
• 15:25
  And, you know, so yeah, I got up and we were going to a friend's
• 15:30
  birthday party later that evening.
• 15:32
  So I, you know, I just kind of bummed around and waited and was
• 15:37
  hoping every time, like, I heard a like a big truck outside.
• 15:40
  I was like, who is that UPS? Like a child.
• 15:44
  Right. Seriously.
• 15:46
  Because it needed a signature, that's why.
• 15:48
  Otherwise I wouldn't care. Yeah, it always does.
• 15:51
  Right, so and my partner gets home 'cause she was, she was
• 15:56
  with her other partner, no big deals.
• 15:58
  She comes home, we take our time getting ready.
• 16:01
  You know, we didn't leave the house like like and then we
• 16:05
  didn't leave the house until like almost 6.
• 16:08
  And meanwhile, I'm like, where the fuck is my phone?
• 16:13
  I'm like, 'cause it had updated to 2:45 to 5:45, I'm like, OK,
• 16:17
  that's still like a three hour window.
• 16:19
  Where the fuck are you? So we are literally I'm like,
• 16:23
  you know what, fine, it's not here.
• 16:25
  I'll just reschedule the delivery.
• 16:27
  It is what it is, right? So we are literally walking out
• 16:30
  the door and UPS pulls up. That's crazy.
• 16:35
  Like, like I was already outside the door with my partner
• 16:40
  following me and UPS pulls up and I'm like, oh, thank God we
• 16:44
  got the box and threw it inside. That was fun.
• 16:47
  But the party was fun. It was good.
• 16:48
  It was basically a bunch of like Polly people.
• 16:51
  It was, you know, it was fine. And then last night actually, we
• 16:57
  had dinner. I have a cousin in town who is
• 17:00
  house sitting for my aunt and uncle who live in Apache
• 17:02
  Junction. And they're she's house sitting,
• 17:05
  pet sitting and I haven't seen her since we figured out it was
• 17:09
  2016. The last time I saw her.
• 17:11
  It's been almost 10 years, right.
• 17:16
  So she was there with with her like gay BFF.
• 17:21
  So that was fun. I went to one of the hot pots in
• 17:23
  in Mesa. It was a good time.
• 17:25
  It was fun. You drove past me.
• 17:30
  No, we didn't. You were gone already.
• 17:39
  And so, and I've had my new phone now for a few days and
• 17:43
  it's one of these things where some of the things are the same,
• 17:46
  but now I have to figure out what I need to keep logged, like
• 17:48
  what I have to log back into. And like, there's little
• 17:51
  features and stuff like new things that keep popping up that
• 17:54
  I didn't have before, like, you know, how like the phones do,
• 17:58
  like the, the live picture where or you know, on the whatever, on
• 18:01
  the video and stuff. So on my videos now I can
• 18:05
  actually hold the thing down and take a slow MO clip and then
• 18:07
  save that on a video like I can. So there's like all these little
• 18:11
  cute little things. I'm like, OK, there's things
• 18:13
  that I will figure out as I go and I'll be like, oh, I didn't
• 18:14
  know my phone did that 'cause you know, and I have been
• 18:18
  binging The Pit on HBO. So it's a medical drama.
• 18:23
  It's got Noah Wiley in it, which is.
• 18:27
  It's on there. It's really, really, really
• 18:30
  good. I'm I love the format.
• 18:32
  So the way that they do it one season is one shift.
• 18:38
  So like the first episode is like the first hour from like
• 18:42
  7:00 AM to 8:00 AM. Second episode is from 8:00 AM
• 18:45
  to 9:00 AM. And I said, I said I.
• 18:47
  Said I'm so. Right.
• 18:49
  It's really good though. Really, really, really good.
• 18:52
  And it's weird, though, to have like, like back, you know, in
• 18:56
  the 90s, early 2000s, you know, we were watching ER Chicago Hope
• 19:01
  and then watching like medical dramas today.
• 19:05
  It it like the differences of how they handle things like anti
• 19:08
  vaxxers misgendering autism. They bring up these topics what
• 19:15
  you're. Saying, well, one of the, one of
• 19:18
  the doctors is obviously neurodivergent, like
• 19:21
  extraordinarily neurodivergent and they don't really talk about
• 19:24
  it. But it's the way that she
• 19:26
  handles things and the way that she deals with patients and
• 19:29
  that, you know, and then you have the COVID issue thrown in,
• 19:34
  like, you know, people like have lost their, their parents or
• 19:39
  their spouses or whatever to COVID.
• 19:41
  And, you know, so there's like, there's that like element in
• 19:46
  there and it's kind of, it's a weird sort of surreal.
• 19:50
  It's different. It's, it's very different
• 19:52
  watching a medical drama that is takes place now versus like the
• 19:58
  stuff that we were watching in the 90s.
• 20:00
  It's all it's, it's, it's different, but it's really good.
• 20:03
  So I highly recommend it if you're looking for a good show
• 20:06
  to like binge. The first season is already out.
• 20:09
  Second season I don't think is done yet.
• 20:11
  So it's I'm in the middle of of that.
• 20:14
  But it's a really, really good, it's a really good show.
• 20:17
  What? What platform is?
• 20:19
  That HBO. HBO.
• 20:23
  HBO how was your weekend? I feel not as eventful as yours,
• 20:35
  but I finally got my nails done. Oh, praise little baby Jesus
• 20:40
  and. It's the little things.
• 20:45
  I feel like that's one of those things that you can say that you
• 20:47
  do for yourself. Yeah, it is.
• 20:52
  And somebody asked me the other day like, have you have I always
• 20:56
  had nails And the answer is no. But I've had them long enough
• 21:00
  that like for me, like it's I do for myself, Deciding to get a
• 21:16
  pedicure was a little. Bit.
• 21:22
  It was touching that line of like, do I have that much budget
• 21:25
  left? Not really, but I hadn't been in
• 21:30
  a while. Sometimes you just got to
• 21:31
  fucking do it. Sometimes it's just like, you
• 21:34
  know what? I'm going to get a fucking
• 21:35
  pedicure. Yeah, we can talk about it more,
• 21:39
  but I finally got it done. And plus, Sabrina's husband
• 21:51
  gives like the best. Like there's like a pain that
• 21:55
  like, shoots in my calf. And my calf is like really
• 21:58
  tight. And it looks like if you look at
• 22:01
  the back of my legs, it looks like this.
• 22:03
  And it's not supposed to look like that.
• 22:05
  It's supposed to like, move apart.
• 22:10
  And sometimes he can get that muscle to be like, OK, we'll,
• 22:15
  we'll let go. So it's just like one of those
• 22:18
  like little things that is such a big thing.
• 22:24
  So I had Friday off, got my nails done and a pedicure, and
• 22:30
  the Easter Bunny went Easter shopping.
• 22:36
  But I have learned from the mom networks, which are really
• 22:40
  strong. Like, what are people doing?
• 22:48
  Like everything is so expensive. And I was like, I'm not going to
• 22:52
  Walmart and buying a whole bunch of stuff that my kids are going
• 22:55
  to forget in a week. We don't do Easter.
• 22:59
  Fuck that, it's stupid. Come in a little so you know, I,
• 23:05
  I don't want to say that I'm we definitely don't do the
• 23:09
  religious piece, but more so the, you know, the, you know,
• 23:15
  the fun of it. Watch hop and you know have
• 23:20
  Easter baskets. No candy at the moment 'cause
• 23:26
  that's. Probably a good thing.
• 23:29
  In my house, yeah. But while I was there, again, I
• 23:35
  was crusading and I was like, well, you know, I'm always the
• 23:42
  one that, like, gets like the robe.
• 23:47
  We've talked about this on the show, and I'm sure that many
• 23:52
  parents can relate to this. I'm either the one.
• 23:56
  It's the. Yeah, a gift card because nobody
• 24:02
  knows what to get in. So I was like, you know what?
• 24:06
  I'm going to go look around and see because I was, you know, I
• 24:12
  guess I was on one. So I weird thing is like
• 24:18
  sometimes I look at the books in the dollar store, but then I'm
• 24:21
  like, I don't think there will be a book that I want at the
• 24:24
  dollar store. Maybe I'll find like a because
• 24:26
  then again, I was thinking about the kids and I was like, maybe
• 24:29
  I'll find like like a little Easter book or something.
• 24:33
  No, there's a book sitting there like dead center and it says
• 24:42
  element of design of Oh yeah. And so like I'm like, what is a
• 24:49
  book like that doing in the store?
• 24:52
  And so it was $1.25 and it's by. Fucking testing like that's.
• 25:04
  Yeah, and it was like, it's by Greg Hoffman, who is busy who a
• 25:10
  designer at Nike. And it's almost like the
• 25:17
  universe was like, hey, this book is right here, you've been
• 25:21
  through some, so you need to pick up the book.
• 25:31
  So I did and I, let's just say I feel like, and somebody told me
• 25:39
  the other day that I need to be patient with my journey.
• 25:45
  And because sometimes as a creative, you think of like the
• 25:50
  end before you think of what's coming, like this space in
• 25:55
  between the end. We don't think about this.
• 25:58
  We think about, oh, that costume needs to be done, you know,
• 26:02
  like, oh, this look is going to look like this at the end, but
• 26:06
  then you start putting on the makeup and you go, oh shit, this
• 26:09
  isn't working. Oh, and then by the time you get
• 26:12
  done, either have what you want or you made it work to
• 26:17
  substantially fit what it was, or I'm on a journey.
• 26:23
  I need to be patient with my journey, work on my journey.
• 26:29
  So that was there. I, I have started reading it and
• 26:32
  to say that I felt aligned very much so, especially because the
• 26:40
  journey is kind of similar, but I'm on a smaller scale.
• 26:44
  I'm not making Nike yet, but so it was a low key Easter weekend.
• 26:52
  But I think the message of the weekend was when helping others,
• 26:59
  don't forget yourself. Yup, I wouldn't.
• 27:02
  Yeah, that makes sense. That makes sense.
• 27:07
  And Speaking of helping others, let me help you get the next
• 27:12
  segment started. I'm so oh, I was going to find
• 27:18
  the. Let me find it while.
• 27:34
  OK, so for tonight I'm going to talk a little bit about self
• 27:40
  handicapping and this is a thing.
• 27:43
  The other day I saw a short video where the creator was
• 27:47
  talking about self handicapping and I immediately thought oh
• 27:52
  this should be something we talked about.
• 27:56
  What is self handicapping like on the you know, on the surface
• 28:01
  it sounds like you know, taking a mallet to your kneecaps, but
• 28:04
  that's not what it is. Self handicapping is described
• 28:08
  as a psychological defense mechanism where we create
• 28:13
  obstacles to their own success, to our to our own success, to
• 28:18
  protect our self esteem by arranging excuses like
• 28:23
  procrastination, reduced effort, and substance use.
• 28:26
  We can blame the outside factors for the lack of a completion or
• 28:31
  success rather than a lack of ability or taking full
• 28:34
  accountability. It often stems from fear of
• 28:39
  failure, fear of rejection, a sense of perfectionism, or a
• 28:44
  lack of self-confidence. And like I said, if you are
• 28:51
  going to try and tell me that you do not do this, I'm going to
• 28:55
  call bullshit because you do, whether you admit it or not,
• 29:01
  whether you recognize it or not. So there are two real types of
• 29:07
  self handicapping. There is behavioral, which means
• 29:11
  that you are actively creating obstacles like procrastinating,
• 29:16
  not practicing, taking on too much work to justify a potential
• 29:21
  failure. And you know, well, I just, I, I
• 29:24
  didn't, you know, I didn't I, I'm gonna do something else.
• 29:28
  I'm going to, you know, I procrastinated on this.
• 29:31
  I waited too long. Practicing could be anything
• 29:35
  from a musical instrument to your craft to make up to
• 29:39
  whatever it is, art, whatever you know, whatever requires.
• 29:42
  Practice that that suit before aha.
• 29:47
  Sure, see there we go. Then there there are self
• 29:53
  reported handicaps and the self reported handicaps are blaming
• 29:59
  external factors. So you're not feeling well,
• 30:03
  stress, lack of time, which I mean, let's be real, when we
• 30:10
  look at things, how often are those things actually real,
• 30:20
  right. So I don't know about y'all, but
• 30:22
  I am guilty of both. I have done both for sure.
• 30:26
  I have absolutely procrastinated on this thing over here by doing
• 30:28
  this other thing over here. So I didn't have to do this
• 30:30
  thing over here. Lack of time is a big one.
• 30:33
  Oh, I just didn't have time. I I probably could have had
• 30:36
  time. So I feel like I had this
• 30:40
  conversation with my mom the other day.
• 30:42
  Is that so? We've been conned into thinking
• 30:48
  that multitasking is a helpful thing and in return it is not.
• 30:56
  Because focusing on the one thing is what gets you ahead,
• 31:03
  right? Unless it calls for like
• 31:05
  multiple steps in the process. But multitasking as it is
• 31:11
  pertaining to like this creates this chaos for ourselves.
• 31:17
  And we are this and we're like, we got so much done.
• 31:24
  But did you, did you really? It's you know, and, and if if
• 31:29
  you say that you have never done this, then like I said, I'm
• 31:33
  calling bullshit. You either are not being honest
• 31:35
  with yourself, or you're just flat out lying and refusing to
• 31:38
  admit that you do this because everybody does.
• 31:42
  On the surface, it may seem harmless, you know, Oh, I just,
• 31:46
  you know, I didn't have time. So I didn't, you know, I didn't
• 31:49
  know, I wasn't, I wasn't feeling great.
• 31:50
  I had a headache, you know, there was just, there was so
• 31:53
  much to do and I, I just, I couldn't, I just, you know,
• 31:56
  couldn't, couldn't make it work, you know, or I did this other
• 31:58
  thing instead. I, you know, but the, the
• 32:03
  problem, Oh my God, the problem is that there are some real
• 32:13
  consequences of, of self handicapping, especially if it's
• 32:18
  something that happens regularly.
• 32:21
  So performance reduction while what when it comes to self
• 32:27
  handicapping, it, it's really about protecting your ego,
• 32:30
  right? We don't want to fail.
• 32:31
  We don't want to fuck up. We don't want things to be less
• 32:33
  than. We don't want to, you know,
• 32:36
  maybe we're perfectionists. Maybe you know that's that is,
• 32:39
  you know, if it's not perfect, then it's not good enough,
• 32:43
  right? Perfect to a certain extent.
• 32:48
  You know, so while your ego is protected in the short term, it
• 32:53
  can lead to poor, poor performance and poor outcomes in
• 32:57
  the long term because your, your performance is suffering because
• 33:03
  you, you've, you're either doing things half assed, you're not
• 33:06
  really doing things at all. You're, you know, you're doing
• 33:08
  what you, you're making excuses as to why you couldn't get XY
• 33:11
  and Z done. It can lead to long term self
• 33:15
  esteem issues. It creates that self fulfilling
• 33:19
  prophecy where avoiding effort leads to failure and thereby
• 33:24
  reinforcing the need for more handicaps.
• 33:28
  And we've all seen those people. Even if we're not those people,
• 33:32
  we've seen those people. Where I seen I have seen this
• 33:36
  before is let's take me as an example.
• 33:43
  Self handicapping would be a perfect example of me almost
• 33:53
  winning a crown by this much and then totally like mind is like
• 34:01
  over here now and people are like looking at me like girl,
• 34:06
  what is happening right now chances killing them, just
• 34:14
  killing them everybody in the room just like what is
• 34:18
  happening. Other things that I, I feel like
• 34:24
  I am starting to get a grasp on is when I'm working, I work in
• 34:31
  the marketing field, which often I, in the book that I'm reading,
• 34:40
  it clarified something that happens with designers is they
• 34:46
  started calling them the, the short line cooks because you
• 34:51
  get, you may be in the middle of this huge project that you have
• 34:56
  to put all your mind into. And then you see the little chat
• 35:01
  just Ding like, what is that? It's saying, Oh, can I have this
• 35:10
  by like 2:00 and it's 145. And so your brain is like, no,
• 35:16
  no, we're doing this project. But I can't say that, right.
• 35:23
  And so like the short line cook is thinking, OK, I'll get this
• 35:27
  done and then I'll get back into it.
• 35:28
  But then sometimes I don't, I get sidetracked.
• 35:31
  I'm over here doing this. And then I would also say that
• 35:38
  the phone I had to like get to a point where I put my phone on a
• 35:45
  mode where it disables the social media.
• 35:49
  Keep in mind I work in social media, but like I had to disable
• 35:54
  the apps 'cause like it was becoming a thing where I was
• 35:57
  like, oh, let me check the messages.
• 35:59
  Oh, let me. And then hour later.
• 36:03
  That's probably why because I have been turning it off I, I
• 36:10
  wasn't finding that I was getting anything done.
• 36:13
  I was. Right.
• 36:14
  And when you, when you do that, when you procrastinate and do
• 36:17
  stuff like that, and then you, you, you know, you avoid the
• 36:21
  effort and you're just like, well, it's fine.
• 36:23
  It was, it was gonna suck anyway.
• 36:24
  I wasn't gonna be good at it anyway.
• 36:26
  I wasn't gonna finish it anyway. I wasn't.
• 36:27
  And then it just becomes that self fulfilling prophecy.
• 36:31
  It can also lead to strained relationships because that self
• 36:35
  sabotaging that you're doing can negatively affect both personal
• 36:39
  and professional relationships. And with like, when it comes to
• 36:44
  like drag, a lot of times the professional and personal
• 36:48
  relationships are kind of intertwined.
• 36:52
  These are people that you know, are often your friends, but you
• 36:55
  also work with them. And you know, if you're putting
• 36:58
  on a show or whatever, it's like, all right, well, oh shit,
• 37:01
  I didn't, I didn't get to do this.
• 37:03
  I'm just going to pull this out of my hat and do this half assed
• 37:05
  number where I barely know the words, costumes, you know,
• 37:10
  whatever. Or you don't do what you're
• 37:12
  supposed to do and get music to people on time.
• 37:15
  If you don't show up, maybe you cancel last minute because
• 37:17
  you're just like, I don't feel like going.
• 37:20
  And that again is those things where it, it, it that creates
• 37:27
  that cycle and it can affect all sorts of things.
• 37:31
  Like it's not, it's not just about you.
• 37:34
  And you know, when, when we like, when you know your friends
• 37:38
  or your colleagues or whatever, start seeing that you can't be
• 37:43
  trusted essentially with getting shit done, doing things on time,
• 37:48
  being where you're supposed to be doing what you're supposed to
• 37:51
  do. Then it's like, OK, well, I
• 37:55
  don't, I, I obviously can't trust them with this project.
• 37:59
  I can't trust them to, you know, do what they need to do.
• 38:03
  So I don't know that I can book them in the show because I don't
• 38:05
  trust that they're going to show up.
• 38:06
  I don't trust that they're going to bring their pets.
• 38:08
  I don't trust like. That is reliable.
• 38:12
  I'm gonna need y'all, y'all to get it together because when
• 38:20
  people are like, hey, are you available to do this project?
• 38:24
  And I'm like, no, I got a lot going on already.
• 38:28
  Even with you there were, there was a year or so there where it
• 38:32
  was like like you had a lot of shit and there were some things
• 38:38
  that were like, fuck, OK. Well, like it was.
• 38:43
  It was a thing. That's a self admission kind of
• 38:45
  thing. And you know, so it's, it's a
• 38:49
  thing. And oh so fun fact, in studies,
• 38:53
  it's actually been shown that men tend to be far more
• 38:55
  inclined, far more inclined to behaviorally self handicap than
• 39:00
  self report. So men are more likely to, to
• 39:08
  procrastinate. They'll work on a different
• 39:10
  project over here. You know, they they'll take on
• 39:13
  too much work and they'll be like, oh, I can't, I can't do
• 39:15
  this thing over here. Maybe that's the answer to your
• 39:18
  question. Because most drag Queens are a
• 39:24
  map. Maybe that is the answer.
• 39:29
  Maybe maybe it is, but then because I do see, I see a lot of
• 39:35
  like I see a lot of Queens that will like I'll I'll books people
• 39:41
  for something and then I get a message and I'm like, Hey, I
• 39:43
  tripled book myself. I'm like, don't you have a
• 39:45
  calendar? Like why?
• 39:49
  Why do you not have a calendar? I don't I don't understand.
• 39:52
  That has only happened to me yet maybe like once or twice.
• 39:55
  That has that has happened to me multiple times when I've been
• 39:59
  booking things and I'm like this.
• 40:00
  That's why there's certain people I won't book anymore.
• 40:03
  I won't even ask him. I'm like, I don't, I don't trust
• 40:05
  that you're going to show up like it.
• 40:08
  And it sucks 'cause I'm like, you're a good performer, but I
• 40:10
  also can't trust you. So like, that's hard.
• 40:15
  You're right. And so, you know, how do you,
• 40:22
  how do you get out of that right?
• 40:23
  How do you get out of that? That cycle of, of self sabotage,
• 40:28
  of self handicapping? It's, it's linked to a fixed
• 40:32
  mindset, which means that like you view ability as fixed and
• 40:39
  unchangeable. Like I am this good at this
• 40:43
  thing over here, but I'm not so good at this thing over here.
• 40:46
  So I can't, I couldn't possibly get better at this thing.
• 40:50
  So I'm just gonna do this thing that I am good at and we'll just
• 40:52
  leave that like, like you, ability is just what it is.
• 40:57
  It doesn't change, which is inherently false.
• 41:02
  And they see people see failure as a sign of unintelligence.
• 41:10
  So, you know, oh, well, if I fuck this up, then, you know,
• 41:14
  obviously people are going to see me as as dumb or I think of
• 41:17
  myself as, you know, a fucking idiot because I can't do this
• 41:19
  thing, which is not true either. Failure does not indicate
• 41:25
  intelligence one way or the other.
• 41:27
  It just means that whatever it is you're doing didn't work.
• 41:30
  Which is fine. It doesn't.
• 41:33
  I read a quote that failure, failure is like the the lesson
• 41:38
  and the opportunity or something like that.
• 41:42
  I mean, the best part of being human is that we get to make
• 41:47
  mistakes and hopefully lived to tell the tale and then go on and
• 41:52
  do something else and. The, the only real way to be
• 41:57
  able to get out of that fixed mindset is to adopt A growth
• 42:02
  mindset. That's about the only way to be
• 42:04
  able to combat self handicapping.
• 42:06
  And you know, you, you have to focus on like learning on the
• 42:12
  effort that you put into something like the, you know,
• 42:15
  the progress over perfection. Like like my like my Cthulhu
• 42:20
  jacket that I I made like is it like, is it like Ashley Baer,
• 42:26
  like like level of like painting and shit?
• 42:29
  Fuck no. But for me it's great, you know,
• 42:33
  like I am. I am not an artist.
• 42:35
  I can't draw for shit, but I am really proud of what I did with
• 42:39
  that jacket like that. For me that is great and I'm a
• 42:45
  pat myself on the back of that even though I procrastinated if
• 42:49
  and oh, that's the. Jacket you procrastinated on.
• 42:54
  I procrastinated on everything for Wild West Con.
• 42:57
  We'll just just gonna throw that out there.
• 42:58
  Yeah. But in the end, it's like, all
• 43:02
  right, well, I have to, I have to do this.
• 43:04
  I can't not do this, so I have to do it.
• 43:05
  So I'm just going to have to fucking knuckle down and I'm
• 43:08
  going to have to fucking do it. And in the end, I love what it
• 43:13
  turned out to be like, you know, and you know, once you are
• 43:20
  focusing more on like the learning aspect, the, the
• 43:22
  effort, the progress over perfection, it helps reduce the
• 43:25
  need for self handicapping. Because then you don't feel like
• 43:28
  you, you have to avoid XY and Z. And to break the habit, you need
• 43:33
  that self-awareness, know that you're doing it.
• 43:36
  You have to understand how to set realistic goals because.
• 43:41
  And that's, that's another thing.
• 43:43
  And that that kind of goes with the progress over perfection,
• 43:46
  right? Because again, I'll go back to
• 43:49
  my jacket. I am not an artist.
• 43:52
  I cannot I, I don't draw. So.
• 43:55
  Just kind of go hand in hand with, I feel like this is the
• 44:04
  ADHD thing. I just feel like you can expand
• 44:08
  the time because you're like, I'm really good at this.
• 44:12
  I'm maybe not so good at this, but then I'm like, right?
• 44:17
  To avoid doing the thing over here that you're not so good at.
• 44:21
  Yeah, no, that's totally a thing.
• 44:23
  And that's why, you know, you have to set realistic goals.
• 44:26
  You have to understand, you know, what your level is AT.
• 44:30
  And if you are like, you can, you can learn.
• 44:33
  But for what you're currently working on, are you going to be
• 44:36
  able to learn what you need to learn?
• 44:37
  Or do you need to readjust your goals and then learn more as you
• 44:42
  go later? You know what?
• 44:43
  I mean because I know that I am not good at stoning better than
• 44:50
  I was. Yes.
• 44:53
  The thing that I have gotten into the habit of doing, and I
• 44:58
  do this when I know that I have what I have for the photo shoots
• 45:03
  or whatever coming up. I'll say OK for an hour each
• 45:09
  night before this, whatever the pageant, the this, that and the
• 45:14
  other, I will put time into putting this together because I
• 45:23
  think nugget size or bite size is sometimes the way to conquer
• 45:29
  it 'cause there's no way I'm gonna like stone an outfit.
• 45:34
  And sometimes that's what you mean, some people.
• 45:36
  Can some people can, right? But that's not my capacity.
• 45:41
  But that's where you have to understand where your limits are
• 45:45
  and you know how to adjust. And you can't be afraid to fail.
• 45:50
  And failure is subjective anyway.
• 45:53
  It really is. Because when you fail, you
• 45:58
  learn, and when you learn you grow.
• 46:02
  And failure is uncomfortable in any form.
• 46:06
  Whether it's something. Small whether it's, you know,
• 46:10
  like it it can be something as as small as over baking cookies.
• 46:13
  You know what I mean? Like you don't think about it
• 46:15
  you. Have watched this show.
• 46:16
  You have watched Failure in real time.
• 46:21
  And we've but we've learned every single time there's been
• 46:23
  something like we've gone to like we trying to fix it the
• 46:25
  next time. Sometimes it's like, OK, well,
• 46:27
  what the fuck? But in that discomfort is where
• 46:32
  growth happens. When you're comfortable, you
• 46:35
  don't grow. So that's how people stay
• 46:37
  stagnant. That's how people like, if we're
• 46:39
  talking about drag, right? That's how people don't change
• 46:43
  their drag for 20 fucking years. That's how people like they,
• 46:47
  nothing changes. It's all the same.
• 46:50
  Like you don't see them trying anything new.
• 46:53
  You don't see them. It's scary, but it looks the
• 46:55
  same. Right, trying to branch out, you
• 46:58
  don't see them trying to do anything.
• 46:59
  Like I am constantly trying to learn new shit when it comes to
• 47:02
  drag, 'cause I'm like, OK, I'm not quite done yet.
• 47:05
  And you know, again, I am not the artist that some of these
• 47:09
  like newer kids are. Oh my God, some of these new
• 47:11
  folks that are coming up in drag, I'm like, God, I wish I
• 47:13
  could paint like that. I can't.
• 47:14
  So I do what I can and for what I can do.
• 47:17
  I'm happy with what I can do and I know that I have good enough
• 47:23
  stage presence that I can still learn and grow with the makeup
• 47:26
  import. You know what I mean?
• 47:27
  So like there's things that like you have to, you just have to
• 47:29
  understand where you're. At but I also like, I would say
• 47:36
  challenging yourself is, is healthy.
• 47:40
  And if you say sometimes, and there's a big thing in like the
• 47:44
  entrepreneur communities that like failure is the goal, and
• 47:53
  you think that that is the craziest thing you've ever
• 47:56
  heard, but failure is the goal, yes.
• 48:00
  When it, when it comes to like sometimes like end to end
• 48:03
  testing, like in, in, you know, like in the, the corporate field
• 48:06
  and stuff like that, like the, the, you know that that sort of
• 48:10
  shit. Like you want to see what
• 48:12
  doesn't work Because if it doesn't work, then you have to,
• 48:15
  you know that, OK, well, this can't go into production this
• 48:17
  way. We have to figure out why this
• 48:20
  isn't working. Like regression testing and all
• 48:22
  that shit that happens. Like find it very helpful when
• 48:25
  like leadership is saying, well why isn't that working?
• 48:28
  Well, here's some things I've tried.
• 48:30
  Right, let's figure out why this isn't working, you know, and
• 48:34
  it's, it's, it's important to again, make realistic goals,
• 48:45
  understand where you're at and adjust accordingly.
• 48:50
  Like when it comes to like challenging yourself, they'll
• 48:51
  see me. Sometimes I'll, I'll ask for
• 48:53
  like, hey, somebody give me an idea for what I what to do with
• 48:55
  my face. Like I don't know what to do
• 48:56
  with my face this week and people will throw ideas at me.
• 49:00
  Several of my faces, like the a few weeks ago, I did like the
• 49:03
  Lisa Frank kind of looking thing.
• 49:06
  That was somebody was like I asked my friends and my friends
• 49:09
  were like, someone was like be a leopard and someone's like be
• 49:12
  like a pink leopard. Someone's like, Oh my God, do a
• 49:14
  Lisa Frank inspired leopard and I'm like bingo, there we go.
• 49:17
  So I. Had to.
• 49:17
  Oh, that was the week we dressed to like.
• 49:20
  I think, yeah, without, without knowing, right.
• 49:24
  So like you, it's so easy to find little ways to be able to
• 49:30
  challenge yourself to step outside your comfort zone, to
• 49:32
  step outside your box. You know, do something new, do
• 49:35
  something that is different. My question I like so I like the
• 49:45
  plain Jane this is mostly for dragon entertainment.
• 49:51
  I like the plain Jane. I can do the plain Jane really
• 49:54
  easy, but I love the like like for Halloween, I always do
• 50:01
  something right. It's like when you.
• 50:05
  Because I think a lot of people when they, when they see you,
• 50:08
  they just this is what they right here, this is what they
• 50:11
  see this, you know, sort of a basic phase.
• 50:13
  But I'm like, y'all don't know when Felicia puts her mind to
• 50:16
  it, when she's inspired, she can paint, she can do something fun
• 50:20
  and different and it you don't do it all the time and you don't
• 50:23
  have to do it all the time, but. No, but you give me a good theme
• 50:27
  show and I can right run away with it.
• 50:31
  Right? But I always wonder why people
• 50:34
  don't cause the Speaking of Halloween.
• 50:37
  I think like people are like, oh, I'm so gory.
• 50:40
  But then I'm like, wait, but this what are we?
• 50:45
  We didn't. We didn't touch this.
• 50:47
  Right, right. My, my favorite is like the, the
• 50:50
  Halloween when Queens are like, Oh my God, I'm so spooky.
• 50:52
  And they have like your face and then like a drop of blood, like
• 50:56
  right here. And I'm like, Oh yeah, it's
• 50:59
  spooky. Yeah.
• 51:02
  You're like a drag monster. Good for, good for.
• 51:06
  You. No.
• 51:08
  I I mangle. You I change it I.
• 51:14
  They're like, look, I'm wearing, I'm wearing pearls that look
• 51:17
  like blood on my neck. Yeah, look.
• 51:21
  Those are not. Good job.
• 51:25
  I'm so proud of you. So moral of the story is know
• 51:33
  yourself, know your limits, make realistic goals and acknowledge
• 51:38
  when you are self handicapping so that you can start trying to
• 51:42
  break the cycle. And again, if you say you don't
• 51:48
  do it, I'm a call bullshit because everybody does.
• 51:52
  Everybody does, Yeah. Yeah.
• 51:57
  All right, let's let's move on. One thing I think we should
• 52:05
  acknowledge the the creator 'cause I feel like creators are
• 52:09
  going through it at the moment, Emil.
• 52:14
  Emil Yeah. Uh huh.
• 52:16
  That is their name and we can share the link to their the
• 52:24
  short that they did and I love following them because they do
• 52:29
  the gear agenda every every day. Yeah, they're fabulous without
• 52:35
  fail unless something comes up, but definitely enjoy them
• 52:40
  completely. Let's get into the heaviness of
• 52:49
  OK, be ready. Bye.
• 52:56
  Be right back. OK, I don't want to.
• 53:22
  I know. Why can't we just be one of
• 53:24
  those drag live streams where all we do is talk about RuPaul
• 53:27
  and be like, I mean, God girl I. Am I haven't caught up on the
• 53:33
  season, so that's not going to happen I.
• 53:35
  Haven't watched any of it, so there's that.
• 53:37
  A very short. The Cheeto in charge is just
• 53:44
  doing things. We start things, we end things.
• 53:48
  We say we're going to do something.
• 53:56
  Was this before he said the things that he said the other
• 54:04
  day? I think so.
• 54:07
  It's hard to tell. It's all very unhinged and but
• 54:12
  right. Very chaotic.
• 54:13
  Is it the it's the chicken or the egg kind of thing?
• 54:16
  Yeah. OK.
• 54:17
  So two things happen that or three a lot of things.
• 54:24
  The Cheeto in charge decided to start his Easter morning by
• 54:27
  choosing violence. Literally.
• 54:30
  Literally bright and early Sunday morning, he posted on his
• 54:37
  social, his pedo social platform.
• 54:40
  I'm not going to name it here 'cause I feel like those things
• 54:44
  trace transcripts. And if you've not noticed, I
• 54:50
  don't call that person by their name because anyway, posted an
• 54:58
  abusive and explicit explicit filled explicit to Iran in which
• 55:07
  he called the Iranian government to open the fucking straight,
• 55:13
  you crazy bastards. Can you imagine if Obama had
• 55:25
  said that? Well, first and foremost, Obama
• 55:29
  wouldn't have created his own platform to speak on because.
• 55:33
  Also, Obama would never, but still.
• 55:37
  Obama, would you? Imagine.
• 55:42
  Plus, he said. Plus, he said that on Monday, I
• 55:55
  think it was Monday, that a whole civilization was about to
• 56:02
  be obliterated. I, I don't, I don't understand
• 56:09
  how this is not enough for him to for his whole fucking to just
• 56:17
  be gone like you can't. Yeah.
• 56:23
  So I just do we write our senators, do we, do we talk to
• 56:30
  them? Do we talk to our House
• 56:32
  represent? Nobody is speaking up.
• 56:34
  That's the fucking problem. I know people that are calling
• 56:36
  their senators like. I know people that are emailing
• 56:39
  and calling and and. There are actually some members
• 56:43
  of the Republican Party starting to be a little bit like, ain't
• 56:48
  this a little bit crazy, right? Now look, when you have Marjorie
• 56:51
  Taylor Green and Bernie Sanders basically saying the same thing,
• 56:54
  like hello. Oh, wow.
• 56:57
  Like that. That's there.
• 56:59
  There's a, there's a, there's a America you in danger, girl?
• 57:04
  Like there's a, this is a problem.
• 57:11
  Hell. So yeah, this is happening.
• 57:15
  I don't want to read the full post.
• 57:22
  It's it's disturbing. It's unlike anything that has
• 57:26
  ever been said publicly. Also I read today that somebody
• 57:36
  is suing dump truck because he refuses to like something about
• 57:43
  historical oh I need to find this because he is refusing
• 57:50
  basically to have his history written the way it's been
• 57:54
  happening he. Doesn't get to say he hasn't
• 57:56
  like, you don't. You don't.
• 57:57
  You don't get to be like. Whitewash everything else.
• 58:00
  Why not whitewash this I'm. Like, no, you don't get to no.
• 58:05
  You don't sound like the people that grew together make you.
• 58:09
  That's not how this works, but OK, cool, whatever, it's fine.
• 58:14
  That works. You don't do, you don't do well
• 58:17
  in schools. You just pay the teacher.
• 58:19
  So now you pay the historians to put it together, right?
• 58:23
  Right. Yeah, nobody's going to buy
• 58:25
  that. And we just have to wait a few
• 58:27
  years and then he'll be dead and then we can actually just put
• 58:29
  things out there the way that they're supposed to be so.
• 58:30
  Oh. I'm waiting for OK, so it's
• 58:34
  slowly happening again like it did the first time.
• 58:39
  It's like things like start to leak out or things start to
• 58:43
  happen or people like get arrested and right.
• 58:48
  What is that about? Right.
• 58:49
  It's like his, his, his, all of his people start falling apart.
• 58:52
  All of a sudden you see people getting fired left, right and
• 58:54
  center and you're like, but you, you appointed.
• 58:59
  Well, I thought you was like the home girl, but now you like.
• 59:01
  Fired you brought these people in like and and that's what
• 59:05
  always happens. That's always it shows you how
• 59:08
  much of like how, how. Oh, he didn't check.
• 59:11
  The unhinged and unstable everything is.
• 59:13
  Great, I don't need credentials. You never see this shit happen
• 59:17
  in any other administration. You don't see this shit
• 59:23
  happening in any other administration, like ever.
• 59:26
  Like this is not, this isn't. How Christian like is this?
• 59:32
  Oh, it's very Christian like. It's not Christ like, but it's
• 59:37
  very Christian. Oh God.
• 59:40
  There's a difference. Yikes.
• 59:45
  Yeah. Let's continue, shall we?
• 59:54
  Bipartisan. Keep this in mind as things get
• 59:59
  more terrible that bipartisanship is going to
• 1:00:04
  happen because they're going to start agreeing, right?
• 1:00:09
  In this case, the Dems and the Raps, Little Raps and the Little
• 1:00:15
  Magas and Texas have voted to abandon the plans.
• 1:00:19
  That dump truck had to put a border wall through Big Bend
• 1:00:24
  Bend, not Big Bend, Big Bend National Park.
• 1:00:31
  Many lawmakers lobbied against the proposed 30 foot border wall
• 1:00:36
  that was going to go through a National Park.
• 1:00:39
  The fuck I can't. Remember earlier in this he was
• 1:00:46
  going to sell all the national parks.
• 1:00:48
  Y'all right, right. And then we all were like what
• 1:00:51
  the fuck, right? I don't want to.
• 1:00:53
  No, we're not buying land on the Grand Canyon.
• 1:00:58
  Right, that's not. We're not doing this.
• 1:01:01
  We're not selling. We're not buying.
• 1:01:02
  We're not. No, no, that goes to the dam.
• 1:01:06
  No. So the next one, this continues.
• 1:01:21
  I wish I was making this that really do.
• 1:01:26
  Video from Iran shows thousands of civilians forming human
• 1:01:31
  barriers around power plants. Which he was saying that this is
• 1:01:35
  going to be power power plant day or whatever in an attempt to
• 1:01:40
  dissuade dump truck. I'm gonna be, I'm gonna laugh.
• 1:01:46
  If he never mind from bombing after he threatened that, he
• 1:01:52
  also threatened that he was going to do things to open the
• 1:01:55
  straight so that, you know, his goods can go through.
• 1:02:03
  He literally said that a whole civilization might die tonight.
• 1:02:09
  Remember, he's for the children member.
• 1:02:13
  Rights, rights. For children though.
• 1:02:15
  And just just so everybody knows, attacking civilian
• 1:02:20
  infrastructure, so like power plants, transportation and
• 1:02:25
  infrastructure, things like that, those things are
• 1:02:27
  classified as war crimes. You cannot do that.
• 1:02:33
  Like I wonder why that's why he didn't.
• 1:02:37
  Somebody was probably like, yo fuckhead, you can't do that you
• 1:02:41
  fucking idiot. Yeah, plus we haven't gone back
• 1:02:44
  to Congress to be like, hey, sorry we fucked that we started.
• 1:02:48
  Congress still hasn't approved this fucking war, which isn't a
• 1:02:51
  war, even though we're already at war.
• 1:02:54
  Yeah see we we had fucked that up.
• 1:02:58
  Nobody stapled the papers and stamped it so we don't need to
• 1:03:02
  go back. We need to go back.
• 1:03:06
  So a big question that I had and I still have is can dump truck
• 1:03:12
  be charged for all of these wrongdoings right now after
• 1:03:21
  whatever I don't know, I. Believe so I think that that can
• 1:03:28
  happen like I I the problem is that someone needs to do
• 1:03:33
  something like. I don't know if it's like the
• 1:03:35
  United Nations needs to get on board with some of this shit if
• 1:03:38
  NATO needs to get on board with some of this shit, but something
• 1:03:42
  I don't I don't know why nothing has happened.
• 1:03:45
  Frankly, I I don't everybody is scared of us apparently.
• 1:03:52
  And that's this is like he was the no new wars president.
• 1:03:58
  Yeah, he did. Yeah.
• 1:04:02
  Yeah. That was one of the things he
• 1:04:03
  said. He said we don't we don't want
• 1:04:04
  any new wars, No new wars, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
• 1:04:07
  blah, blah, blah. No new wars.
• 1:04:09
  Can we? Lower grocery prices, lower gas
• 1:04:13
  prices. Meanwhile, I have never, I have
• 1:04:20
  never paid this much to fill up my car and I'm so glad that my
• 1:04:23
  car has great fucking gas mileage because this is
• 1:04:26
  bullshit. It is.
• 1:04:31
  We are over $5 a gallon I think in Arizona in most places.
• 1:04:35
  The national average is about 4-16 at the moment.
• 1:04:40
  The Fry's right down the street is at 499.
• 1:04:43
  The QT right down the street is at 499.
• 1:04:46
  Diesel is at like over $6 a gallon.
• 1:04:51
  Which is kind of weird 'cause that's like the people that are
• 1:04:54
  like for him so. Right, right.
• 1:04:58
  And I love that the the people that are like Biden did this are
• 1:05:01
  all very quiet right now. So very quiet right now.
• 1:05:07
  Like you were mad when you know Biden made made the gas prices
• 1:05:13
  350 now we're at almost 5. We're why aren't you outraged at
• 1:05:17
  this point 'cause you were very vocal about it when Biden did
• 1:05:21
  this? Fill in those pockets y'all,
• 1:05:27
  Whatever all that is happening this is.
• 1:05:30
  Literally asked for this. Literally asked for this.
• 1:05:35
  Anyway, some slightly happier news.
• 1:05:44
  I was so heavy, so heavy. Let's get into something.
• 1:05:48
  Pink News posted a reel of the first openly gay mayor of
• 1:05:54
  Munich, Munich, Germany. Munich kissing his fiance after
• 1:06:02
  winning the recent election Cheers and kisses to Munich's
• 1:06:08
  first openly gay mayor. And I think he's the youngest
• 1:06:13
  mayor that they've had as well. I think either him or his or
• 1:06:17
  somebody else that else is also gay somewhere else, I don't
• 1:06:20
  remember. But I think he is one of the
• 1:06:23
  youngest like politicians as well as being openly gay.
• 1:06:27
  So that is definitely something. Over the world, the gay agenda.
• 1:06:32
  That's what we plan to do. What we're doing now, So how do
• 1:06:37
  you say the name of this country?
• 1:06:39
  Luxembourg, Luxembourg, Luxembourg.
• 1:06:43
  Luxembourg becomes the second country.
• 1:06:46
  Luxembourg. Yeah, has become the second
• 1:06:49
  country in the world to enshrine so beautiful abortion rights and
• 1:06:57
  it's constitution. Can you imagine?
• 1:07:03
  My God. I don't know though.
• 1:07:07
  What I didn't know was that this is following France's lead.
• 1:07:15
  The country has enshrined this fundamental reproductive right a
• 1:07:21
  little bit now, a couple years now, But so just imagine you
• 1:07:28
  wake up tomorrow, not in, not with this regime, you're not
• 1:07:32
  going to, but like, imagine you're in a new regime that is
• 1:07:37
  hopefully white fucking better. And they say, you know what,
• 1:07:42
  let's just put it in, write it in.
• 1:07:48
  We haven't it. It would see.
• 1:07:50
  The problem is, is though, that with our Constitution, all of
• 1:07:54
  our shit, we haven't touched our Constitution in what, 200
• 1:07:56
  fucking years? Almost like like like we
• 1:07:59
  haven't. We just keep adding laws and
• 1:08:01
  then we shut down those laws and.
• 1:08:03
  Then, right. And we're basically sort of like
• 1:08:05
  at this point we're like, what constitution?
• 1:08:07
  What are you talking about? I I think gay marriage should
• 1:08:10
  not be just a law. I think it should be written
• 1:08:13
  into the Constitution. There's no war in Boston.
• 1:08:16
  Say yeah, it's it's. Because you know why?
• 1:08:22
  Well, we talk about it all the time.
• 1:08:23
  It's the the colonialism, it's the misogyny, the we're not
• 1:08:29
  gonna. We don't give a fuck about
• 1:08:32
  women's rights, about anybody that happens to have a vagina.
• 1:08:34
  We don't give a fuck. We don't care.
• 1:08:38
  Or darker. We don't.
• 1:08:39
  We don't. We don't care anybody who is not
• 1:08:42
  white, cisgender, male and well off.
• 1:08:46
  We. Don't of non melanin want to be
• 1:08:52
  like us. Well, yeah, they want the
• 1:08:57
  culture. Also, I've been doing this all
• 1:09:00
  night because I know that it's wrong.
• 1:09:04
  It's supposed to be this. Stop doing this.
• 1:09:11
  I see a lot of people do that include like people like, like
• 1:09:15
  black folks, people of color. Like I see them doing it that
• 1:09:18
  way all the time. Yeah, that's how I see that.
• 1:09:22
  Like that's how I see him doing it all the time.
• 1:09:25
  Also I watched a really good video about how black culture
• 1:09:32
  couldn't exist without the intertwinings of black gay
• 1:09:36
  culture, so get into it. That's why I'm like, anytime I
• 1:09:42
  see like someplace host any sort of like a ball or whatever with
• 1:09:47
  no black folks involved, I'm like you.
• 1:09:54
  And it's like, well, we have this person of color over here.
• 1:09:57
  No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's not
• 1:10:00
  the same. It is not the same.
• 1:10:02
  This specific culture comes from black culture.
• 1:10:08
  You can't like this, you you can't just ignore that that and
• 1:10:12
  and pretend that just because you have this person over here
• 1:10:15
  that might have some something in them that I'm like, no,
• 1:10:21
  unless you, you should not be having balls unless you are
• 1:10:26
  including black folks on like the it's like the like it's
• 1:10:32
  judges, right, They're judges. Like.
• 1:10:35
  On the panel, the organization of it, like if you are not
• 1:10:40
  black, don't, don't. The predominant folks involved
• 1:10:47
  in these things like with the planning, with the, with the
• 1:10:49
  judging, with the being involved, should be black,
• 1:10:53
  period, period. Like though I will say that I
• 1:10:58
  planned the ball and I fully in retrospect you have to make
• 1:11:03
  mistakes to learn. Would go back and get some folks
• 1:11:09
  to help in the next time. Probably a good idea.
• 1:11:13
  Yeah. But yeah, the the predominant
• 1:11:18
  like the for the most part anything ball related you should
• 1:11:22
  not if if you are white, you shouldn't be.
• 1:11:27
  You need to pass that off to somebody else like you need to.
• 1:11:30
  Or be really damn good at it 'cause.
• 1:11:33
  But even then, it's like you're literally like, I don't know.
• 1:11:37
  It's just don't claim the culture.
• 1:11:38
  Don't claim the culture as apps. No, just it it, it just bothers
• 1:11:43
  me. Like as someone who is who has
• 1:11:45
  white male privilege, like I see stuff like that and I'm like.
• 1:11:50
  Also like if you know that you took language that you don't
• 1:11:55
  know what it means. No, I never know what half the
• 1:11:59
  language means anyways. Listen.
• 1:12:00
  To the teenagers like from black culture so right, be careful.
• 1:12:06
  Between the stuff that comes from the black and the gay
• 1:12:08
  culture and like the black gay culture and stuff, it's like.
• 1:12:13
  Be careful 'cause sometimes you think you said the right thing
• 1:12:17
  and you did it. Yeah, that's why I, I just
• 1:12:21
  don't, Yeah, just why I just don't.
• 1:12:25
  I'm like, I don't speak to that. If, if, if I do it, you know
• 1:12:29
  that I'm doing it ironically because I don't know what the
• 1:12:31
  fuck I'm saying like. I like this good news.
• 1:12:37
  Florence Welsh of Florence and the Machine love their music, is
• 1:12:44
  partnering with Planned Parenthood on tour amid a 'cause
• 1:12:49
  we're not doing what France and other countries are doing, we're
• 1:12:54
  just doing. We have a life and death fight
• 1:12:57
  over here for abortion rights. We're doing nothing to support
• 1:13:04
  women, we're doing nothing to support AFAB individuals, we're
• 1:13:08
  doing nothing to support trans people, No.
• 1:13:14
  In fact, just the opposite. We're doing everything we can to
• 1:13:16
  take away rights from all of the above.
• 1:13:18
  Yeah, you know, I feel like people get quieter when you give
• 1:13:24
  them what they want, right? Right.
• 1:13:30
  I could be wrong, I could be completely wrong.
• 1:13:33
  I don't know. I've never ran a country before.
• 1:13:36
  But some groups that you're targeting, it's a little off.
• 1:13:41
  It's a little off. Just right.
• 1:13:45
  The one percents, right? And that 1% for no reason
• 1:13:51
  anyway. So we went up in the air, we
• 1:13:57
  went to the moon where we're circling the moon, we're
• 1:13:59
  circling the moon. Do I something?
• 1:14:01
  Yes. Yes.
• 1:14:04
  And the Internet went crazy because in the live feed, as
• 1:14:11
  they're like interviewing one of the astronauts, A Nutella bottle
• 1:14:16
  like floats up in front of the screen.
• 1:14:19
  It was like perfect, like product placement, like you
• 1:14:22
  couldn't have planned that. Shit behind them and you were
• 1:14:26
  like what? Nutella, OK.
• 1:14:30
  Have you seen like the pictures that are coming, like of the
• 1:14:33
  moon that are coming from this? Oh my God.
• 1:14:37
  As someone that has been like obsessed with space since I was
• 1:14:42
  little, like seeing these, like these pictures that are so
• 1:14:49
  clear, that look like there's like right in front of you.
• 1:14:51
  Like it's so cool, so fucking cool.
• 1:14:57
  So you'll be blown away when they go up in 2028.
• 1:15:02
  So 2020, yes, it is. It's 2028 because that's what
• 1:15:05
  they're doing. They're they're.
• 1:15:06
  Doing all this. Right.
• 1:15:11
  Oh my God that would be so fun. First trans guy in.
• 1:15:14
  Space, I'd probably get motion Sicknick nobody's business, but
• 1:15:18
  I'll still. Well, you don't even like roller
• 1:15:20
  coasters, so this would not be your ticket.
• 1:15:23
  You know what? It's fine.
• 1:15:23
  I'm still going to go. I don't care, give me a little
• 1:15:27
  barf bag, it'll be fine. Like I'm.
• 1:15:31
  Like he. Filled take some Dramamine.
• 1:15:34
  He filled up the space station. We're going to need some.
• 1:15:39
  Sorry we. Could, but that was such a
• 1:15:42
  moment. I think other brands were
• 1:15:45
  mentioned. I was like, well, now we're
• 1:15:48
  having marketing and space, OK. I mean, sci-fi says yes.
• 1:15:55
  Right, you're right. You're going to start putting
• 1:15:57
  billboards on the moon like that's the next step.
• 1:16:00
  Jessica Alba was one of the ones that got to hear like her brand
• 1:16:05
  mentioned because that's like the lotion that they use.
• 1:16:10
  There were some other ones, but I was like proud marketing
• 1:16:17
  moments. But hopefully we don't start
• 1:16:19
  cluttering space. I don't know.
• 1:16:24
  It's where it's it's gonna be like you see, like on all, like
• 1:16:27
  the like the the shows. And the movies?
• 1:16:30
  Like, you're gonna have like an asteroid that comes by with a
• 1:16:32
  billboard on it, you know, like. Yeah, you're gonna.
• 1:16:35
  Have like, right, like, you know, personal injury lawyers
• 1:16:39
  with a billboard on the moon kind of thing like.
• 1:16:41
  That's that's one more time I need to know what his budget is.
• 1:16:46
  Anybody's going to do it. It's going to be Raffi Rafael
• 1:16:48
  fucking half a billboard on the fucking.
• 1:16:52
  You know what? Somebody sent me a photo and
• 1:16:56
  they were like, what do you see here?
• 1:16:58
  And it was in California, And I was like, how is he there?
• 1:17:02
  Yeah, he's everywhere. And they're like, he's
• 1:17:05
  everywhere. And I'm like, Oh my God, he's
• 1:17:07
  following you. Anyway, what do we got coming up
• 1:17:12
  so. On 4/17, we have Drive Bingo and
• 1:17:16
  Cats over at the Phoenix Cat Cafe.
• 1:17:19
  I believe there's like, are we sold out?
• 1:17:23
  Oh, we have two tickets left. We have two tickets left.
• 1:17:25
  Maybe that thing's going. Well, at the time of this
• 1:17:28
  recording, because this, this is the bitch, somebody will send me
• 1:17:32
  a piece of this recording and say, look, you said this was not
• 1:17:35
  sold out. Well, look this recording.
• 1:17:38
  As of when we started this broadcast, there were two
• 1:17:41
  tickets left. Things could have changed in the
• 1:17:43
  last hour or so. So just saying there could be no
• 1:17:49
  tickets left, but there might be two tickets left.
• 1:17:52
  That's it. I'm excited 'cause my my partner
• 1:17:54
  and and her other partner are going to be there.
• 1:17:57
  She's never been to a drive. Bingo and cats.
• 1:17:59
  I'm like, really we've. Been there.
• 1:18:01
  No, I'm like we've, I've been together for six years and I've
• 1:18:04
  been doing this for like ever. And you haven't been to 1.
• 1:18:06
  Cool. Thanks babe.
• 1:18:07
  Wow, it's. Terrible.
• 1:18:10
  She. Doesn't support so terrible and?
• 1:18:12
  It's awful. I guess, well now, well, I guess
• 1:18:17
  we'll, we'll have like Part 2 because your family was at the
• 1:18:20
  other one, right? So we'll just have Part 2,
• 1:18:25
  right? Instead of calling mom, she'll
• 1:18:28
  be there. Right.
• 1:18:33
  And then if you don't get tickets to Drag Bingo and Cats,
• 1:18:38
  or if you just want to go to both this one and this one, I'm
• 1:18:44
  hosting Drag Bingo at Drink Me Tea Room and it is Alice in
• 1:18:49
  Wonderland themed. The last time I did Alice in
• 1:18:51
  Wonderland, a whole group of friends dressed as every
• 1:18:56
  character except for Alice, and they took a picture with me
• 1:19:03
  because I was the Alice to the whole thing.
• 1:19:06
  So I challenge you. Just saying that there's people
• 1:19:12
  that love themes. Yep, absolutely.
• 1:19:17
  So if you dress the theme, I will be very excited at this.
• 1:19:23
  Point. Encouraging.
• 1:19:25
  And then in just a few weeks, I am going to be at Southwest
• 1:19:31
  Lovefest. I'm gonna be doing a couple of
• 1:19:36
  panels on the Saturday. But if you, regardless of
• 1:19:39
  whether you are Polly or not, this is a great way to get some
• 1:19:45
  education on like relationships, communication, all sorts of
• 1:19:49
  things. You can get tickets at
• 1:19:51
  lovefestevents.com and it gives you a breakdown of all the
• 1:19:55
  presenters, the type of panels that are going to be there, the
• 1:19:57
  type of workshops, the stuff that other stuff that's going to
• 1:20:00
  be going on that weekend. So I highly recommend getting
• 1:20:05
  tickets and doing this and learning some stuff.
• 1:20:08
  Maybe you have friends that are Polly or you know you want to
• 1:20:11
  learn some more about it. This is like a good opportunity
• 1:20:13
  to do it, even though not everything is necessarily.
• 1:20:15
  Like Poly centered, a lot of it is, but there's also I like some
• 1:20:19
  kink things I believe in there. Like I said, communication, like
• 1:20:22
  there's all sorts of stuff. I thought I saw something about
• 1:20:25
  intimacy. There's a lot of intimacy stuff,
• 1:20:30
  so there's like this. Polyfocus.
• 1:20:33
  No, there's not. Not everything is polyfocus for
• 1:20:35
  sure it can all be applied to Poly relationships, but not
• 1:20:39
  everything is like specifically geared towards polyfolks.
• 1:20:44
  So that I recommend that Lovefest events.com.
• 1:20:50
  Let's do it and you can book us for office parties.
• 1:20:57
  I haven't been booked for an office party in a long time.
• 1:21:02
  Oh, also, if anybody feels so inclined, I, I, I'll still take
• 1:21:08
  like if anybody wants to throw some money in the pot for our,
• 1:21:10
  our honeymoon fund, because our honeymoon is happening
• 1:21:13
  immediately after love fest, Southwest love fest, like
• 1:21:16
  immediately. So you know, if anybody wants to
• 1:21:19
  contribute to that, my birthday is coming up in July.
• 1:21:21
  We can just call it an early birthday present or a late
• 1:21:24
  birthday present if you didn't get me anything last year or
• 1:21:26
  like late or an early Christmas present or whatever.
• 1:21:31
  But if you know, if anybody wants that information, you can
• 1:21:33
  either like Venmo me, cash up me, or we do have a honey fund
• 1:21:36
  where you can, you know, we'll take gift cards, Disney gift
• 1:21:39
  cards, Visa gift cards, whatever.
• 1:21:41
  We're not picky. We're not picky.
• 1:21:45
  Disney gift cards would be wonderful because we can just
• 1:21:47
  apply that straight to like food and things.
• 1:21:50
  But yeah, so if anybody wants to do that, you know, I appreciate
• 1:21:53
  you. I was.
• 1:21:56
  Kind of on the cusp of being. You know what your time is just
• 1:22:03
  to say. I'm so tough times so tough.
• 1:22:07
  Amen. So you could book us for holiday
• 1:22:11
  parties though. Neither of us are Jewish, but
• 1:22:15
  we'll totally do like bar mitzvahs or bar mitzvahs
• 1:22:19
  circumcision. Also I don't mind I've been
• 1:22:22
  booked at parks before. I don't mind parks, but in June,
• 1:22:30
  July, August I. Yeah, no, do not book outdoor
• 1:22:36
  drag during the summer here. And also outdoor drag in a
• 1:22:40
  public park is probably not the safest bet right this second.
• 1:22:46
  So maybe rethink that if that's like something on your agenda.
• 1:22:51
  Just just saying. Just saying.
• 1:22:54
  Everything is lovely and safe. Right.
• 1:22:59
  That's all. That's all I'll say.
• 1:23:01
  Check out our Patreon because we'll be doing things.
• 1:23:04
  I don't know what those things are, but I do stuff on there
• 1:23:13
  from time to time. I'm going to I'm going to be
• 1:23:16
  posting something on there shortly.
• 1:23:18
  It's a y'all will be getting like a first exclusive like
• 1:23:23
  thing. Piece of info I know.
• 1:23:27
  Very exciting you haven't posted it there yet.
• 1:23:31
  Nope, not yet. Oh OK, I haven't posted my thing
• 1:23:36
  yet either so that's. Weird.
• 1:23:38
  It's fine. It's.
• 1:23:39
  Fine. Fascinating.
• 1:23:41
  Yeah. Anyway, have a wonderful
• 1:23:45
  evening, be safe out there, do good things for yourself.
• 1:23:50
  Take care of yourself and each other.
• 1:23:54
  Thank you, Jerry Springer. Yikes.
• 1:23:58
  And we'll see you next week for your Wednesday night
• 1:24:01
  conversation. Let's see if the outdoors.
• 1:24:03
  We'll try goodnight. It didn't last time, but bye.